Original subtitles

[Buck] Previously on Farmed and Dangerous.

That exploding cow woke up the sleeping beast.

[Murrin] The American public now wanna know

what the hell is going on with their food.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with petroleum,

it comes from the Earth.

It's worse than I thought.

Worse than exploding cows?

[Chip] Dairy from Animoil's cows

could be on the shelves in weeks.

All these cows in one place,

it's too early, it's too dangerous.

[Chip] We have to prove that PetroPellet is unsafe.

I changed your ringtone when you were in the boy's room.

Hey, how did it go at Chip's petting zoo,

is he coming around?

[Sophia] Well, it's a bit complicated.

[camera shutter clicking]

♪ I am the one Who run the party ♪

-[Chip] Oh. -[Sophia] Nice.

You kept the ringtone.

-[tire screeches] -[siren wails]

On the ground.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

[door thuds]

Drug smuggling.

Money laundering.

Human trafficking.

-Counterfeiting. -[agent] Identity theft.

We've got enough to put you away forever Jennifer Ran--

One second.

[door opens]

[door closes]

[door opens]

Trespassing.

[agent] Breaking and entering.

Filming inside an animal enterprise and...

blowing livestock.

Sick bastard.

Blowing up livestock.

You know what they do to livestock bombers

in the big house?

[tapping on glass]

Damaging an animal operation

can buy you a life sentence, pal.

I didn't blow up any cows.

And I'd like my phone call.

[laughing]

[inhales deeply]

Not gonna happen.

Reception in here is terrible.

Look, just get me my phone

and I'll prove I wasn't trespassing.

I was invited.

[both scoff]

How long can you guys hold him for?

These days...

we have a little more flexibility.

Good.

I'll be back later tonight.

In the meantime...

a little token of our appreciation.

Forget firemen,

you guys are the real heroes.

[light music]

[upbeat music playing]

They got you working overtime on this, huh, Buck?

Now, Corrina, don't start snooping around

for a story that isn't there.

Why did the Senate drop the hearing on PetroPellet?

[Buck] You give me too much credit.

Now, come.

We're here to celebrate, not pontificate.

[Murrin] He's preaching to me about the '60s.

I've got a picture with my dad and Martin Luther King,

you can't see his face because of the hood.

-[glass shatters] -[woman] Whoa.

I really don't mind moving into the neighborhood,

but come on, The Country Club?

-[scoffs] -Okay. And you...

Let us call it Mexican Honey.

Unfortunately, we can no longer call polymerase ammonium

and the essence of honey...

[indistinct chatter]

[Sam] Doesn't McDonald's own Chipotle?

No, McDonald's doesn't own Chipotle.

There's still room around his stock.

It still got legs.

It's like you've been framed.

Shall we let bygones be bygones?

It's only a matter of time until these cows up there--

[shushes]

-[glass clinks] -Bygones.

Bye.

-Go hard. -Yes, sir.

Take the back. Don't have to hurt him.

[gasps] What is all this?

[Riefkind] What is going on?

I'm sorry about working Zach so hard.

Nothing wrong with couples spending some time apart.

You're starting to sound like your father.

Sophia.

Irina.

I'm Irina.

You are Sophia.

-[both chuckle] -Babe, it's time.

-For? -For us to go to the next level.

Where the cows are?

[Buck] ... you gotta at least pretend

-to enjoy it. -You in?

-Wow, this is a hard-- -[Buck] Fantastic.

Look.

Finally buying the cow, huh?

-[Buck] Congratulations, honey. -Good man.

You know, I should have invited your mother to this.

-We can text her later. -[Sophia] Oh.

I told DJ Kamikaze

-no Asian retro crap. -Engagement present.

Oh. Uh, thanks.

-So, you knew about this, huh? -[Buck] We discussed it.

The prenup could have gone better,

but spend it wisely.

-[explosion] -[rumbles]

Boom! DJ Kamikaze in the house!

Whoo!

Hey.

Wanna tell me where Chip is?

-I don't recall inviting you. -[Amanda] Where's Chip?

Well, I don't recall inviting him either.

[agent] Ma'am, do you know this person?

She just stormed right in.

Ever since your text, no one's seen or heard from him.

Wait, what are you talking about?

Two days ago, you asked him

to meet you here at the Megafarm.

-She needs to leave. -Yes, sir.

-Great party. -[Sophia gasps]

Slut.

Ma'am, this way, please.

Hands off.

Let's go.

[whispering] Stay calm.

Now.

[whispering] Don't make a scene.

-[grunts] -[thuds]

[groans]

I really need a new therapist.

I think we need better security.

♪ Crazy boy, crazy boy

♪ Come and get it

♪ Waiting here, waiting here

♪ For you, baby

♪ I just want

♪ I just want you to show me

♪ They mean--

-[explosion] -[rumbles]

Go, DJ!

-Go, DJ! -Go, DJ!

-[explosion] -[rumbles]

[all clamor]

-[explosion] -[rumbles]

[all clamor]

[Buck] No, no, no. No pictures.

For your own safety.

And don't forget your gift bags.

I don't see any gift bags, Buck.

That's because they're in the front seat

of your brand new car.

You get a car. [laughs]

[Buck] You get a car.

And you get a car.

-[explosion] -[rumbles]

[cows mooing]

I wouldn't call them explosions, Senator,

-at least not in public. -[sirens wailing]

I'm, I'm sure there'll be a little fallout,

but nothing we can't handle.

[cell phone beeps]

It's radioactive now?

PR fallout, honey.

Actually...

Never mind.

Sophia, I want you to get out a press release.

Something like, "More cows died

filming Johnny Knoxville movies

than in Animoil explosions."

-Something like that, okay? -Okay.

I'm sorry our special evening got ruined.

What was that girl talking about?

I never sent a text to Chip about the Megafarm.

Oh, I trust you, honey.

Don't worry about it.

You just focus on the wedding.

[car door slams]

This is your stop.

[Mick grunts]

Okay.

You ever hear back from that trainer?

Maintain this, Buck.

I mean, Dad.

[upbeat music]

The miracle of industrial farming

makes every day a dream come true.

[Sophia] The Petro-milk Home System

delivers fresh milk-style food products

on demand.

Your kids will get more vitamins and minerals

than from that so-called, natural milk.

Remember when you used to complain

how a gallon of old-fashioned milk

cost more than a gallon of gasoline?

Typical woman. [laughs]

[in robotic voice] I didn't get

the economics of it.

Not complaining now, are you?

[demonic laugh]

[laughing continues]

Animoil...

glorialtastiousness.

[doorbell rings]

The Milkman's here.

[in high-pitched voice] [both] The Milkman's here.

Six bottles of milk, classic.

[upbeat music]

Industrial agriculture,

improving nature as God intended us to.

♪ Ain't nobody better than me

♪ Yeah, you know, It's all about me ♪

♪ I am the one Who run the party ♪

♪ Ain't nobody better than me

♪ Yeah, you know, It's all about me ♪

♪ About me, about me

♪ I am the one Who run the party ♪

♪ Ain't nobody better than me

♪ Yeah, you know, It's all about me ♪

♪ About me, about me

♪ I am the one Who run the party ♪

♪ Ain't nobody better than me

♪ Yeah, you--

[ominous music]

[door opens, creaks]

[Zach] Not like I didn't warn you.

[door creaks, closes]

But you couldn't let it go.

So, you got played.

[Zach] You think Sophia didn't ask me

to show up on your little date?

You think your night at the bar wasn't scripted?

Little romantic visit to the farm.

[Zach chuckles]

Sophia doesn't like you, Chip.

She likes messing with you.

But we can make this all better.

You can walk out that door,

just as soon as you sign that.

You resign from the Sustainable Family Farming Association

and take down your little protest site,

and all your little petitions.

You agree not to disparage

or in any way, undermine our businesses.

What's that about picking up your dry-cleaning?

I'm a reasonable guy.

You sign this,

and the lawsuits are dropped.

Then you don't have to sell your precious farm

to pay for your legal bills.

I'm not signing anything.

Then you're on your own.

[knocking]

[knocking continues]

-[knocking continues] -[Zach] A little help.

I think you just pull.

What's that?

Just...

Mm-hm.

[door slams]

[door lock clicking]

[treadmill beeping]

[footsteps rustling]

[treadmill beeps]

Where have you been?

Caught your little friend trespassing at the Megafarm.

FBI says he's behind the explosions.

You're saying Chip Randolph tried to blow up Animoil?

Oh, I'm not saying that.

We caught him, red-handed.

You know, I admire his commitment to the cause,

but... [inhales]

But just as the great Gandhi once said,

"Violence is not the answer."

[treadmill beeps, whirs]

[treadmill powers down]

[beeping]

[Chip] She lied to me.

No, I can't believe it either.

She set me up.

I never saw it coming.

She played me.

[Amanda] Surprise, surprise.

Hm.

The jumpsuit's a nice enough reminder

you were right, okay?

[Chip]Can you figure out a way to get me out of here?

Oh, yeah, for sure.

I'll just reach out to our legal defense team.

Oh, wait. We don't have one.

[chuckles]

I know, why don't you click your heels three times?

-And then... -I click my heels in here,

something else is gonna happen.

[Amanda] Okay, we'll think of something.

Where's Dad?

He's in his office.

He's a little stressed.

[clicks, rattles]

Zach framed Chip.

-And? -And he's in jail.

For framing somebody? That's terrible.

Don't worry, we'll get him out.

No. Chip's in jail.

Well, then what's the problem? [chuckling]

Did you know about this?

After the fact.

Have they asked you to spin this too?

-Huh? -You're coming with me,

right now, to get him out.

Wait, come on, it's not that simple.

My hybrid's still charging.

[Sophia] Dad, this is serious.

Is everything true?

Well, when you say everything.

Bogus lawsuits,

false imprisonment, cow tumors.

Will you listen to yourself? Bogus lawsuits, cow tumors?

-Mistresses from Estonia? -What?

Who wants biscuits?

[Mrs. Marshall] Oh.

You and your guns.

All right.

You wanna know the deal.

[Buck] I'll tell you the deal.

Animoil is all-in on PetroPellet.

We're all-in on Animoil.

PetroPellet goes down,

your fiancé goes down.

[Buck] Your daddy goes down.

Let me rephrase that.

[ominous music]

We're all in this together.

And Chip's just collateral damage?

No, Chip is the damage.

Jeez, you have a couple of drinks with the guy

and you eat a tomato,

and all of a sudden, you're bleeding hard.

How did you know about the tomato?

Girls like tomatoes.

You spied on me?

I let the experts do that.

-[gun clatters] -Hey.

Come on, don't go out that door.

-[gunshot] -[plate shatters]

Oops.

I shot the biscuits.

[door closes]

Well, look what the crap dragged in.

Look, I know what you must be thinking.

What the hell are you doing here?

-I came to say I'm sorry. -What kind of a psycho

would send an innocent person to jail?

-What did Chip ever do to you? -...a chance to call him.

Show you that there's a better way?

-Poison the earth? -You guys were right

-about a lot of things. -Or trick people into...

I cannot believe what they've done to him.

I cannot believe you've done that.

I wanna make it better. I wanna help.

And I think I know how I can.

Why do you have his phone?

[Sophia] I found it.

It has the text. You'll need it to get the charges dropped.

And here's something else.

-Thank you. -[Amanda] Oh, my god.

What I said about the crap...

It's okay.

Sorry.

Me too.

[Amanda] And thanks.

[Sophia] You're welcome.

[retreating footsteps]

-[door opens] -Oh, my god.

She's making improvements.

Take it easy.

-I'll take that. -Okay.

-Thanks. -Yeah.

So, CNN has,

"PetroPellet: should you be petrified?"

And Michael Pollan's onTonight,

"Pollan probing the PetroPellet problem."

Front-page placement on the Post.

Not good.

Not the New York Post, the Washington Post.

Well, that's a relief.

[inhales]

We need to go on the offensive here, people.

Ideas?

What if we produce a satire

that pulls back the curtain on the disturbing world

of sustainable farming?

We're not a TV studio.

We don't need to be.

These days, there are tons of failed showbiz-types

out there pedaling this new-media crap.

And everyone works for pennies.

Not everyone.

My 11 a.m. execution at Animoil approaches.

I better get going.

[suspenseful music]

[car alarm beeps]

If you're heading over to Animoil,

you might wanna let your friends know Chip Randolph

is being released right now.

Great, honey.

We'll celebrate tonight by not telling anyone

you did that.

I'm releasing Zach too.

Oh, honey.

[Buck] This is a difficult time for you.

Breaking up with somebody that makes you happy,

or at the very least not depressed,

can be heart-wrenching.

I appreciate you saying that.

At the same time, I'm doing my damndest

to try and save the Animoil account,

so you should really rethink that.

Or postpone any hasty decision.

Wow.

We'll talk when I get back.

Love you. [smooches]

[approaching footsteps]

You can go in now, Mr. Marshall.

Mm.

Deadman walking.

[Buck inhales]

[clears throat]

Well, shall we get this over with?

[Mick] Have a seat.

Dead man sitting.

Look.

I'm willing to take full responsibility--

[Mick] I don't think we're gonna let you do that, buddy.

Dead man confused.

[Mick] You're not the only one who made this happen.

Johnson here is the creator of Oleyum Mac and Cheese.

Oleyum Mac and Cheese?

Thanks to all that fuss over PetroPellet,

we managed to get our consumer Petro-products

to market, completely under the radar,

with the brand name, Oleyum.

[Mick] Cereal, hot sauce.

Peanut butter, with none of that oil on top.

'Cause it's all oil.

Side effects?

[Mick] You know...

Zach came down

with a serious case of brand-new-Ferrari.

[all laugh]

[laughing continues]

[upbeat music]

♪ Come on

[upbeat music]

[Chip] Hey.

Hi.

I heard what you did for me. I wanted to say thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry about everything.

I'm sorry too.

What are you sorry about?

About some of the things I said about you

behind your back.

Which you never would have known,

had I not just apologized to you.

Oh, really?

-[Chip chuckles] -What did you say?

[tires screech]

Hey, honey.

Saved the Animoil account.

[Buck] Even got some more work.

Hey, hello, Chip.

Hello, Buck.

Hey, Chip, you know, I've been thinking about

your sustainable farming factory.

[Buck] You know what you need?

A great image consultant.

[chuckles]

Actually, I was thinking

we could use a little bit of that Marshall-magic.

Smart.

-Sophia. -[car door clicks, creaks]

How about coming to work for us?

[Buck] Not gonna happen, Chipper.

[Buck chuckles]

-[keys jangle] -[car door shuts]

What do you say?

[Buck] Come on, Sophia.

[foreboding music]

He sure loves those Oleyum crackers.

[foreboding music]

[lighter clicking]

[clicking continues]

[upbeat music]

♪ Yo, yo, yo

♪ I, I am the queen Ruler of the world ♪

♪ If you want the best Then holla at your girl ♪

♪ I am The number one contender ♪

♪ Hot as the summer Cold as the winter ♪

♪ How you gonna be mad At a winner, that's me ♪

♪ First place blue ribbon Placed on me ♪

♪ I am the star In the sky you see ♪

♪ Shine bright, so bright What a sight to see ♪

♪ Okay

♪ Star in the sky I'm the light, light ♪

♪ On a runway About to take flight, flight ♪

♪ Can't speak 'Cause I'm almost out of sight ♪

♪ And I know You wanna be right ♪

♪ Right

♪ It's all about me, me, me

♪ It's all about me, me, me

♪ It's all about me

♪ I am the one Who runs the party ♪

♪ I am the one Who runs the party ♪

♪ Ain't nobody better than me