Original subtitles

Kill her, she's already dead.

So full of ego.

So poisoned with arrogance.

Blood, blood, more blood.

Welcome to the podcast.

Today we have a very special guest.

Max Gerhardt.

Max is one of Las Vegas' most brilliant creative directors.

And today, we're going to talk about

social media influencers,

and I'm wondering how this is affecting

advertising and marketing.

Well it's great.

I can target exactly who I want.

I can make these buyers buy anything.

I can shove the product so far down their throat,

that they'll puke up their money.

And how do I do this, Ruger?

Influencers.

They are the direct line to the sheep

that are following them.

But Max, don't you worry sometimes,

that these influencers are sending the wrong message?

I mean, they're saying things like,

you've gotta wear these clothes or you're a loser.

Or buy this product or you're a loser.

Or you've gotta ride your mountain bike over this cliff edge

or you're a loser.

I mean, this is a very new trend,

but it seems to be very dangerous to me.

Stop, I really don't give a damn.

Materialism is where it's at.

Designer clothes, jewelry, hair makeup, whatever.

I'm not selling spirituality, incense,

or enlightenment here.

I'm selling fucking products.

I don't give a shit about your kid's mental health either.

Go see a shrink after you buy my products.

Tomorrow, I got this shoot in the desert,

for some designer jewelry line.

My model, a little bit on the older side.

She was super-famous at one point,

but now, social media followers?

Not that many.

This will be the last time I hire her.

After this, she's dead.

Come on, Max, that's pretty brutal.

Welcome to the new shit.

This shoot is a piece of shit.

You can't even see her jewelry.

Hot shoot.

Thank you.

No, I mean it's hot.

Fucking hundred degrees.

Yes yes, it's a hundred degrees.

So I noticed you don't have

a lot of social media followers.

Not my thing.

Well it should be.

The day's coming where it'll be everything.

What do you mean?

You almost didn't get this gig.

The agency doesn't think you are popular enough.

But I pushed for you.

Well thank you.

But what?

If you don't have a lot of followers, you're nothing.

Well that's harsh.

You wait.

In a few years, if you don't have at least

a half a million followers, you won't get gigs.

You'll be nothing, it's like you won't exist.

Are you serious?

Too bad for them, too bad for you.

You'll be irrelevant.

But I can change that for you.

A few extra favors, I can get you over a million followers.

Max, your hand is on my leg, and I didn't ask for that.

Look, just come over to my place,

once a week for a while.

We'll have a great time, and it'll be a lot of fun.

Spend the night, I'll get you a following.

I'll put the marketing department on it.

For you.

Okay so let me get this straight.

So, I come over to your place,

fuck you once a week,

and you get me followers.

No Max, I will not fuck you for a million followers.

Here, let me fix this for you.

Thank you.

I gotta ask you.

What's with this clown costume?

Um, Max has a clown fetish I think.

That's really weird.

Yeah, yeah.

I fucking hate clowns.

The shower should be free now

if you want to get all that dust off.

I'm gonna head home.

All right, see you later, Moxie.

See you soon.

What the fuck?

Max, is that you?

Fuck!

What the fuck is going on?

Ssh, don't you fucking look at me.

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck is that?

No no no, my beloved clown.

Ssh, she didn't mean it.

You didn't mean it, did you?

No no I didn't mean it.

Fucking slut!

It's too late for you.

No fear, Moxie.

I'm from the other side.

You're gonna die, Moxie.

I don't want to die.

You're gonna be fine, Moxie.

I'm not taking you to the dark place.

But you need to make a choice.

Listen.

I will take you now.

I'll take you to the other world.

There's absolute love waiting for you.

Or remain here and seek revenge.

I want to live.

You're going to die, Moxie.

Choose.

Revenge.

What did you do, Max?

Her blood is all over the place.

Clean that shit up.

Hey Stue.

So we just broke twenty million followers.

You my friend, are officially the king.

Oh by the way, you know that supermodel you wanted to shoot?

She's out back right now.

Fuck yeah.

Stue Harrington, oh my God.

Why are you so surprised?

You signed up for this.

This is real?

This is real.

Okay okay, stop, stop!

This is so stupid.

Right?

Give me the whole bottle.

Wait no no, get me three bottles.

We're rolling.

What's up minions?

This is the new shit.

You know those trust fund machismos?

Buying fake fame?

Well, they can kiss my ass.

From now on, go all in or get the fuck out!

Keep it real!

Stop, stop!

Hey hey! NO!

You can get out of my house!

And no payday for you honey!

Did you get that?

Got it!

Fuck yeah!

Asshole!

Fucking genius, man!

All right, here we go.

Here's what we have for project...

Slash and Burn.

Rachel Benson.

Beauty influencer, she's a designer bitch.

Money whore on steroids.

Currently, at 932,102 followers.

She's almost at a million, she's on the rise.

Stuck up chicks and horny thirteen year old boys love her.

Hot, put her on my hit list.

Nice, man.

Bob Sumpton, gamer influencer.

Currently at 845,485 followers.

Hold on, hold on.

Is he one of those gamer freaks,

that plays video games and little kids just watch him play?

He might be.

No, fuck that guy!

Fuck him, fuck him.

I don't want him anywhere near me,

or touch any of my things, okay?

Fuck him!

Send a text to him that says,

fuck you from Stue Harrington, okay?

Cool.

Okay.

Taz Smith, extreme sports influencer.

You know who he is.

Adrenaline freak, mountain biker,

rock climber, all that outdoorsy shit.

He's probably got like a two inch dick.

Oh, I like Taz, he's funny.

And he's also currently

at 1.191 million followers.

Oh, too bad, you gotta burn, Taz.

Finally, we have Gwendaline Black.

She's kinda low, 495,374 followers.

But metal is back, stronger than ever.

Figured you'd kinda want to lock that down.

She is superhot.

I gotta bang that slayer chick wannabe slut by the end.

Bam, and then snuff her out.

Well, this is a great group.

Well besides that gamer guy.

Fuck that guy!

Well let's just send out the texts.

And make sure they're at the photo studio Friday.

- Good? - On it, homey.

Bam!

Hey hotties, it's your girl, Rach.

Okay, I keep getting all these bullshit comments.

All like, oh love yourself.

And oh, my juicy thighs.

And I'm like, eww!

Seriously, what the fuck is this bullshit?

Do you think I got this rock without these babies?

Thank you, ladies.

Seriously though, bitches,

if you want that money, you have to work your honey.

Get those injections, get those implants.

Get that big fat juicy booty if you want one.

The boys are really into that right now.

All right, bitches, stay sexy!

Hearts!

Ooh, Stue Harrington.

Cha-ching!

Yo biatches.

Hit the bell to subscribe so you can see all my new shit.

I am the adventure king.

I just saw some newbie back on the single track,

who took a header and now his brains are all over the trail.

What an idiot!

I mean, you know what they say.

Keep up or stay off the trails, right?

Keep up or fuck you!

What the fuck, man?

I'm trying to vlog here.

Stue Harrington.

Partner with Stue Harrington.

Shit, that's gonna be big.

I'm at my favorite bar in Vegas.

The Mint.

You can't get this hot.

So don't even try.

But don't worry, girls!

I won't fuck your little man.

I only fuck front men.

With gold records.

No side men for me.

No fucking way.

Because I don't fucking care.

So ever get douche chills?

I just did.

I just got a text from Stue Harrington.

Stue wants to meet me.

Well of course he does.

Who doesn't?

But you can't play a player.

That asshole just opened up Pandora's Fucking Box.

Hey Stuey, I'm coming for you.

And I got a ten-inch strap-on.

Let's play

Fuck you bitch!

Moxie!

Fuck!

Moxie, is that you?

I'm sorry.

I'm really so sorry.

Say something you fucking cunt!

Fucking whore.

You're nothing but a fuck puppet.

I fucking despise you.

Go to Hell, you evil bitch!

Hey boss, they're here.

Show them in.

But tell them to keep their mouths fucking shut,

until I say so.

Copy that.

How come I'm the only one with a drink in my hand?

So kids, you're here because you're on a ticking clock.

None of you will ever reach my numbers.

So you think we're at our peak?

It's a glass ceiling, Gwen.

And I'm here to smash it.

Blow it off it's fucking roof sister.

How?

We make social media our bitch, Taz.

You see, what we have in this room right now,

is a lovely group of rookies.

But what you need is the guidance of,

a major league all-star.

We're not rookies.

How many followers do you have, champ?

Less than a half a million, right?

You are a rookie!

So why are we here, Stue?

Well, I have a proposition.

I have a proposition for all of you.

You do this, and I will promote you bigly.

And you will reach two million followers in a week.

Each.

I'm all ears, babe.

Good, I want a team.

I want to own all the genres.

You know, beauty, extreme sports,

sexy chicks.

We gotta make a big stunt.

So here is my offer.

You spend one night on my property, together.

All right, you vlog, shoot videos,

take photos, do your thing.

But whoever does it the best,

will join me in conquering the world.

That's weak.

What's the hook?

Spending the night where?

My old film studio.

Right here in Vegas.

Uh, the old part.

You have a film studio?

Had a film studio.

I closed it a long time ago.

And that's your brilliant idea?

We've had a few bad experiences,

and people think it's haunted.

Haunted, haunted film studio?

Cool.

Okay, are we supposed to like, sleep there or something?

Like, I don't even get it.

Rabid Hole Studios, right?

It says here, it was closed

after the Internet killed softcore?

So that's how you made your money?

Soft porn?

So what's the deal again?

You stay there one night.

You pretend it's haunted.

Like you know, one of those ghost hunting shows?

You pretend you hear some shit.

But you better make it look believable.

We'll make it go viral.

You know, we'll livestream it.

You'll be huge superstars.

And you're doing this why?

Wow Gwen, you're so on it.

Gold star for you.

Yeah, I have an angle.

I'm launching a new product.

It's an energy drink.

Harrington's Heat.

The fuel for focus.

Okay, all I ask is that you you know,

you show the energy drink to the camera.

You know, take it down, plug it,

ham it, he who hams it up best,

will become my personal advisor.

To more than twenty million followers.

Think of it as an audition.

To the Palace of Harrington.

So who's in?

Or did I pick the wrong group,

and I need to go drafting again.

Who wants to join me?

At the top of the pyramid?

This drunk fucking supermodel did ten million fucking hits

her first day.

Sweet!

All right, they're all in.

We almost lost the goth girl

til I explained the consequences if she passed.

Good good!

Well, let's set up those cameras at the old film studio,

and you can set up your tech room in the backstage area.

I will be at my penthouse on the strip.

And just make sure that feed stays strong.

Good good?

Hundred percent.

Fuck yeah, teamwork!

Love it!

Big announcement, super fun!

My good friend, Stue Harrington,

is having us over for an event.

Now I say us, because there's these other two

social media wannabes.

And I'm not even gonna say their names.

The girl is like a nasty, seriously gross A.F.

The guy is like, this gross sports extreme,

he's a wannabe.

I think he's lazy as fuck.

Between you and me,

I think he does all his stunts on a green screen.

Whatever.

Stue is loaded.

It's gonna be awesome.

Stay tuned, you do not wanna miss this.

Stay sexy bitches.

Hearts.

Yes, the rumor is true.

I'm hanging at Stue Harrington's tomorrow night.

Tune in, or get the fuck out.

By the way, I met R Benson and Gwen B with Stue,

and let's talk about fake.

I mean, plastic city.

These bitches are losers.

You watch, you'll see.

Ditch those chicks.

In fact, if you're following them, unfollow me.

Because you are lame.

Taz out, biatches.

So tomorrow night, I'm taking down

an old haunted movie studio.

I'll be at Stue Harrington's live feed.

And no, I didn't sell out, assholes.

I'm gonna slaughter a plastic doll bitch,

and Taz, the pencil dick wonder.

So jump in tomorrow night,

and watch the Slaughterfest.

Well girls, now we know what ghetto is.

Let me guess, this is a ring light?

Yeah, battery-operated.

I take it with me everywhere, little boy.

You know what bicycle boy?

I don't give a fuck what you think.

I'm in it for the money.

Are we clear, biatch?

Fuck you, plastic girl.

You two make quite the couple.

This should be a fun pajama party.

I don't wear pajamas.

B.T. Dubs.

Super-cute car.

What is that, the '86?

I bet those window cranks get so tiring.

Look, I'm not in this for the money, girlfriend.

I'm in it to burn you two elitist shitheads down live.

I'm in it for my ego.

I gotta feed that motherfucking monster.

Got it, biatch?

Well well.

Not your cup of tea, Pollyanna?

What was that?

Rats.

Big rats!

Eww!

We are locked in for the night.

We are good to go.

Camera's are set, streaming feed is solid.

Hey Stue, we're locked in.

Good.

And the drinks are spiked.

Great, let's fuck these civilians up.

What's in the drinks?

It's datura.

What the fuck is datura?

It's like acid, LSD.

LSD?

It's made up of a plant.

Apparently, hallucinations are savage.

We ground a bunch up, put it in their drinks,

we're gonna be peeling them off the floor in no time.

And we'll humiliate the shit out of them.

We're totally gonna hit 40 million followers after this.

And they will have nothing.

Now this is what I call solid entertainment.

It's from Stue.

Fuel for focus.

Hydrate, love Stue.

Huh, how sweet!

A love letter.

Harrington Heat.

That's some dopey shit for an energy drink.

Oh shit, where's the camera?

I mean, Harrington Heat.

That's dope!

Mmm, Stue Harrington sure knows power drinks.

Mmm, this new power drink from Stue Harrington

is delicious.

So refreshing, and no bitter aftertaste

like those other energy drinks.

Stue Harrington's Harrington Heat

is like bottled holistic energy in a can.

I'd highly recommend it to enlighten your day.

Or heat up your night.

Stay sexy!

What?

I don't drink energy drinks.

There's so many chemicals.

It's like totally bad for your skin.

Mmm, this is the fucking bomb!

I'm gonna save the rest of this for later,

when I really need my energy.

They all drank it.

That was way too easy.

Fucking Taz, man.

Two down, dude that boy delivers.

How long til it hits them?

About an hour.

Twenty minutes for Taz.

He drinks any more,

we're gonna be scraping him off the floor.

Perfect, perfect.

Great job.

Well kiddies, this little social gathering

is fine and all,

except for you're not my type.

Tony, can you go live once they all start looking,

all fucked up?

Copy that.

Taz out, biatches.

Gwendaline!

Fuck!

Score one for creepy as shit!

There you are, Alice.

She's already jumpy as hell.

That means, she believes in ghosts.

Jesus, this is so easy.

Okay, where are the others?

Well, there's Taz.

Nice try, Stue.

Super cheesy pal.

Excellent.

Where is the camera?

Fuel of focus, biatches.

Or focus fuel.

Oh damn, what a punk!

Harrington Heat.

Harringbone Heat?

Terrible tittilacious titties.

Oh, who gives a shit?

Get ready for a puke show, man.

How we doing on plebes?

A hundred K, and climbing fast.

Yes, yes nice!

Ooh, don't puke.

Don't puke.

Do we have a camera in there?

No, that's a bathroom.

All right, all right.

Let's just play the pre-recorded clip.

Now's the time.

Copy that.

As you've probably already guessed by now,

there is no Harrington Heat.

It's a joke.

But these losers think they're promoting it for real.

They can't even handle sugar water.

So keep on watching.

It's gonna be an epic night.

Oh, and if any of you are still following these clowns,

I highly, highly, highly

recommend unfollowing them right now.

Those fucking losers.

Bye!

Hey guys!

Maybe we should actually stay together?

Rachel.

Fuck, man!

Do you think you drank enough, biatch?

She's gonna get you.

Jesus!

What the fuck?

Hello, anybody in there?

Wake up.

We're here.

I guess nobody's home.

This is nothing.

What the fuck is he doing?

It looks like he's completely fucked up.

Don't tell me these assholes are just gonna fall asleep.

No no no, it doesn't work like that.

They'll stay up for days on this shit.

Fuck!

You didn't go home.

I warned you, biatch!

Jesus man.

Without further ado, I bring you our star attraction.

From the lowest levels of the undead,

from the pit of despair,

and the house of infinite horrors,

Moxie!

What a shitty show, biatch!

Ohh, oh!

Oh my God!

Fucking gross.

She's puking for sure, man.

Where's she at?

She must be in a bathroom.

And why don't we have cameras in the bathrooms?

I didn't think,

I mean we can't livestream someone shitting, can we?

But if they're puking

and their head is covering the toilet.

That would've been good.

Fuck man!

Lost opportunity.

Fuck!

What the fuck!

Power surge.

Come on, man!

It'll reboot.

How long?

I don't know, a few minutes.

Fuck!

Jesus, I know I'm fucked up,

but I bet you're pretty hot in real life.

You're pretty into this BDSM submission shit, huh biatch?

Okay, I'm game.

Let's do this.

Whow, what the fuck?

That's fucking awesome.

I love those things.

Still down, run an IP check.

It's solid on on my end.

We're back on, it's the damn lights that went black.

Why is the feed fucked up?

It's not the feed.

It's the lights, we're dark.

What do you mean, dark?

Guys, we're losing viewers.

They're dropping faster than panties at the prom.

What the hell, Tony?

Get it back up now.

How are we gonna see the freak show if there's no lights?

I put in SWIR, just in case.

Speak human, techie.

Short wave infrared.

It's monochrome, but at least we can see.

Then do it.

Switching to short wave.

We're back, all good.

Viewers rising, we're at a hundred K.

Looks like we'll be in the millions soon.

Okay, what the fuck is this?

He's gone.

And what the hell is in that chair?

I can't quite make it out.

Looks like somebody shit all over the place.

I told you they'd be puking and shitting.

Oh okay, quick.

Write a comment that says,

Taz just shit all over the place.

Done.

We're at two hundred K and rising.

Just dodged a bullet.

You're welcome.

Really?

Fucking perv!

Is that you, Taz?

Go away, bro!

I'm kinda fucked up right now.

So I'm really not in the mood for your bullshit.

Fuck, what the...

Hey hotties, it's your girl Rach here.

We are having a great night at the scary movie studio.

And thanks to Stue Harrington's new energy drink,

Harrington Heat,

I've got the energy of an eighteen year old.

So, let's stay up and do some more exploring,

and see if we can find out

why they say this place is haunted.

Stay sexy hotties!

Hearts!

Excellent, that is exactly what I wanted.

Thank you, Rachel.

Now drink up, girl!

Tony, what's going on with the other rooms?

They're all black.

Outage is back, I'm on it.

Fuck!

This isn't what I wanted.

Hey, hey!

Is anyone there?

Hello?

What the fuck?

Where am I?

Hey, what's going on?

Ssh, she's here.

Where am I?

Now now, Gwendaline.

You've been very bad, haven't you?

Let me go!

Grace under pressure, grace under pressure.

Think of all your followers.

You drank from the cup of deception.

Where is your ego now?

Where the fuck is your soul now?

So full of arrogance.

Let me tell you a little secret.

Your world is bullshit.

You fucking little maggot.

Now, be a good little girl,

and die with grace.

Where is Gwen?

They're all gone.

What do you mean, gone?

We need more cameras.

What, they're all off-camera.

Where are you guys?

You guys are assholes.

Rachel.

What is she doing?

Looks like she's having a bad trip.

Yeah, but we can't see her, she's hiding in there.

From what?

Finally a working feed, and she's fucking hiding.

Maybe we should pull the plug.

Are you fucking kidding me?

We are committed.

If I don't deliver, my followers will jump ship,

and all of this is over.

We got your back, Stue.

We'll figure something out.

Check the comments.

What?

The fucking comments.

What are people saying?

Uh, waste of time, haunted house,

really bullshit, House of Harrington is canceled.

Watching paint dry is better than this crap.

Boring as fuck!

Enough, enough!

These fucking assholes are making me

look like a fucking amateur.

Let's cut the stream.

Okay, you know what, no!

No, I'm gonna turn it around on these rookies.

Keep it going.

Shit!

She's a bitch, kill her,

and make her bleed.

All right, I'm in.

What's working right now?

I shut it down.

What the fuck!

The numbers are dropping.

Tony's trying to find something good on the cameras.

All right, all right, get it back up!

Roger that.

Fucking amateurs!

Oh my God.

Jesus!

Fuck, come on!

Get over here!

What'd you do, Max?

Her blood is all over the place?

Clean that shit up!

Better keep your mouth shut, Max.

I don't need any bad publicity right now, okay?

You're gonna clean up my makeup room,

once we're done here.

You got that?

The fucking shit I have to go through.

Fuck!

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