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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:14,730 --> 00:00:18,705 * OF ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS IN LIFE YOU CAN FIND * 4 00:00:18,738 --> 00:00:21,811 * THEY ALL CAN BE YOURS WITH THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND * 5 00:00:21,844 --> 00:00:25,252 * JUST LOOK, AND YOU'LL FIND 6 00:00:25,285 --> 00:00:28,691 * THERE ARE NO SECRETS TO HIDE 7 00:00:28,725 --> 00:00:32,266 * LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS BEHIND LEAVE YOUR PROBLEMS BEHIND * 8 00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:35,305 * NO WORRY, FRIENDS NO WORRY ** 9 00:00:45,225 --> 00:00:48,531 [ People Murmuring ] [ Man ] YUCK ! 10 00:00:48,565 --> 00:00:50,602 EWW ! 11 00:00:50,635 --> 00:00:51,103 SWIM TRUNKS ARE LOADED WITH DETERGENTS AND OTHER HAZARDOUS CHEMICALS HARMFUL TO FISH. 12 00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:56,347 OW ! AAH ! 13 00:01:19,927 --> 00:01:21,664 OH ! 14 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,504 HI, ALLISON. 15 00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:50,255 SCRUBBED MY JOB AT THE AQUARIUM. HEARD YOU GOT FIRED. 16 00:01:50,289 --> 00:01:54,597 YEAH. THE AQUARIUM'S TOTALLY CHANGED. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I'LL BE FINE. 17 00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:57,034 I GOT A LOT OF GREAT OFFERS. 18 00:01:57,067 --> 00:01:58,871 THINGS ARE REALLY STARTING TO HAPPEN FOR ME. 19 00:01:58,905 --> 00:02:01,911 I WAS THINKING MAYBE LATER IF YOU WEREN'T DOING ANY-- NO. 20 00:02:01,944 --> 00:02:05,985 - I MEAN IF-- UH, WHEN YOU'RE NOT WORKING. - I DON'T THINK SO. 21 00:02:07,456 --> 00:02:10,261 OKAY, I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE SOME SEA SNAILS AND BE ON MY WAY. 22 00:02:18,109 --> 00:02:20,782 NO, NO, A LITTLE LOWER. THE ONES ON THE BOTTOM. 23 00:02:39,853 --> 00:02:42,124 UH, 24 00:02:42,157 --> 00:02:44,530 HAVE A GOOD NIPPLE. 25 00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:01,029 [ Tires Screeching ] 26 00:03:02,933 --> 00:03:06,105 [ Laughing ] 27 00:03:09,913 --> 00:03:13,855 * COLOR ME YOUR COLOR, BABY * 28 00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:17,496 * COLOR ME YOUR CAR 29 00:03:17,529 --> 00:03:20,033 * COLOR ME YOUR COLOR, DARLING * 30 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:23,741 * I KNOW WHO YOU ARE [ Both Laughing ] 31 00:03:23,775 --> 00:03:26,145 ** [ Continues, Indistinct ] 32 00:03:26,179 --> 00:03:29,185 AH, YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL SKIN, BABY, HUH ? [ Laughing ] 33 00:03:29,219 --> 00:03:32,526 GET SOME OLIVE OIL, RUB IT ALL OVER YOU. 34 00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:34,763 WE'LL HAVE A GOOD TIME, HUH ? 35 00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:37,803 [ Woman ] OH, YEAH. 36 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,144 [ Door Slams ] [ Man ] LET'S GET HIM OUT OF THERE. 37 00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:53,701 [ Man, Woman Moaning Passionately, Faint ] 38 00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:58,209 [ Woman ] OHH ! OH, ANTOINE ! 39 00:03:58,244 --> 00:04:01,215 YEAH ! [ Continues Moaning ] 40 00:04:06,627 --> 00:04:10,000 [ Moaning Pace Quickens ] 41 00:04:10,033 --> 00:04:13,274 [ Antoine ] OH ! OH ! OH ! OH ! OH ! OH ! [ Woman Shrieking ] 42 00:04:13,307 --> 00:04:16,245 [ Moaning Ceases ] 43 00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:21,255 TRY TO KEEP YOUR GOLDFISH IN THIS BOWL. 44 00:04:23,761 --> 00:04:26,165 IF YOU LIKE, I COULD STICK AROUND FOR AWHILE. 45 00:04:27,869 --> 00:04:30,742 EVERY KID NEEDS A FATHER. 46 00:04:42,097 --> 00:04:44,637 WHAT THE HELL ? 47 00:04:56,393 --> 00:04:58,229 - [ Roars ] - [ Gasps ] 48 00:05:04,910 --> 00:05:07,114 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ? 49 00:05:07,147 --> 00:05:11,657 THERE'S A MONGREL KOI IN THERE. IT'S THE MOST DANGEROUS OF ALL GOLDFISH. 50 00:05:13,026 --> 00:05:16,132 - DO YOU HAVE ANY ICE ? - HEY. 51 00:05:16,165 --> 00:05:18,136 SHOES OFF, HUH ? 52 00:05:18,169 --> 00:05:21,042 RESPECT THE 18th CENTURY PERSIAN CARPET. 53 00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:28,390 WHOA ! WHAT ARE THOSE ? 54 00:05:28,424 --> 00:05:32,297 MEDIEVAL WEAPONS. I'M A COLLECTOR. 55 00:05:32,331 --> 00:05:35,404 THEY'RE WORTH TWICE AS MUCH IF THEY'VE KILLED SOMEBODY. 56 00:05:39,045 --> 00:05:41,315 I COLLECT CANADIAN QUARTERS. 57 00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,921 I GOT ABOUT SIX OF 'EM. 58 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,370 WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING TO DRINK ? 59 00:05:51,403 --> 00:05:53,741 I WOULDN'T MIND A GLASS OF-- 60 00:05:53,775 --> 00:05:56,380 WHOA. WHAT IS THAT ? 61 00:05:56,413 --> 00:06:00,488 IS THAT A CUSTOM LIVING COLOR ANTI-GLARE, RETRACTABLE-TOP TANK ? 62 00:06:00,521 --> 00:06:03,259 I'M NOT SURE. IT IS ! 63 00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:05,932 THEY ASSEMBLE EACH ONE OF THESE BY HAND. 64 00:06:05,965 --> 00:06:09,907 WHOA ! CHINESE TAILBAR LIONFISH. HE'S A BEAUT ! 65 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:12,044 THAT'S AN $800 FISH ! 66 00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:15,919 - TRY A GRAND. - THEN YOU OVERPAID. 67 00:06:20,093 --> 00:06:22,264 HEY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 68 00:06:22,297 --> 00:06:25,137 HEY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 69 00:06:25,170 --> 00:06:28,043 HEY. AN AUSTRALIAN RAINBOW FISH. 70 00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:31,082 YOU'RE NOT GONNA WANT TO PUT HIM IN THERE-- 71 00:06:31,115 --> 00:06:35,090 - OH, GOD ! - WOMEN LOVE IT. 72 00:06:35,123 --> 00:06:37,929 THEY FIND IT EROTIC WHEN THEY EAT EACH OTHER. 73 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:41,837 EXCUSE ME FOR A SECOND, HUH ? 74 00:06:41,871 --> 00:06:43,875 MUST MAKE PEE-PEE. 75 00:06:47,648 --> 00:06:50,220 [ Urinating ] 76 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:58,470 [ Phone Rings ] 77 00:06:58,504 --> 00:07:01,009 [ Answering Machine Beeps ] [ Woman ] ANTOINE, HI. IT'S REGINA. 78 00:07:01,042 --> 00:07:04,616 I'M FLYING IN FROM LUXEMBOURG TOMORROW. I WANT YOU TO BE MY DRIVER. 79 00:07:04,649 --> 00:07:07,956 SWISS AIR, FLIGHT 12. IS IT STILL 3,500 ? 80 00:07:07,989 --> 00:07:11,897 SEE YOU. CIAO. [ Answering Machine Beeps ] 81 00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,003 I FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW YOU PICK UP ALL THESE GORGEOUS WOMEN. 82 00:07:15,037 --> 00:07:18,076 HOW'S THAT ? YOU'RE A LIMO DRIVER. 83 00:07:19,411 --> 00:07:22,017 SOMETIMES I AM. 84 00:07:22,051 --> 00:07:26,259 SO YOU JUST DRIVE THEM BACK HERE AND HAVE SEX WITH THEM ? IF THEY PAY ME ENOUGH, YES. 85 00:07:26,292 --> 00:07:28,998 WHAT KIND OF LIMO SERVICE IS THAT ? 86 00:07:29,031 --> 00:07:32,638 SHOULDN'T YOU BE TAKING THEM TO FANCY RESTAURANTS OR THE THEATER ? 87 00:07:34,075 --> 00:07:37,414 - I'M A GIGOLO. - A GIGO-WHO ? 88 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:42,157 WOMEN PAY ME TO GIVE THEM PLEASURE. 89 00:07:46,733 --> 00:07:50,941 - HOW DID YOU GET THAT JOB ? - I JUST KIND OF FELL INTO IT. 90 00:07:52,111 --> 00:07:54,415 I'M GONNA KILL MY GUIDANCE COUNSELOR. 91 00:07:56,285 --> 00:07:58,957 ** [ Latin Dance ] 92 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:06,205 HEY ! HEY ! HEY ! [ Chattering ] [ Dog Barking ] 93 00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:18,329 DOWN ! BAD DOG ! 94 00:08:27,347 --> 00:08:30,153 HEY, GUYS. DID YOU MISS ME ? 95 00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:40,541 WELL, THERE'S BEEN A SLIGHT DELAY IN OUR MOVE-TO-THE-BEACH PLAN. 96 00:08:42,845 --> 00:08:45,117 BUT DON'T WORRY. 97 00:08:49,425 --> 00:08:51,462 ITS'S GONNA HAPPEN. 98 00:08:56,305 --> 00:08:58,309 [ Antoine ] HEY, FISH GUY ! 99 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:05,223 I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY, UH, UH, BIG FISH. 100 00:09:14,508 --> 00:09:17,247 pH IS OFF. THE NITRATES ARE AT A DANGEROUS LEVEL. 101 00:09:17,281 --> 00:09:21,890 - I CAN NEUTRALIZE IT. - OH, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 102 00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:25,163 THEY DON'T LIKE THAT. 103 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:30,473 - I THINK OUR LITTLE FRIEND HAS MALAWI BLOAT. - WHAT THE HELL IS THAT ? 104 00:09:30,507 --> 00:09:33,546 - IT'S A GILL DISORDER. - IS IT BAD ? 105 00:09:35,483 --> 00:09:37,955 - COULD BE FATAL. - BUT IS HE GONNA MAKE IT ? 106 00:09:37,988 --> 00:09:42,364 HE'S IN SHOCK. I GAVE HIM SOME FREEZE-DRIED WATER FLEAS, BUT HE'S GOTTA WANT TO LIVE. 107 00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:45,203 THE NEXT FORTY-EIGHT HOURS ARE CRITICAL. FORTY-EIGHT HOURS ? 108 00:09:45,237 --> 00:09:48,977 BUT I GOT TO GO TO SWITZERLAND FOR BUSINESS. I'LL BE GONE FOR THREE WEEKS. 109 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,816 WELL, CANCEL IT. YOU GOT A SICK FISH HERE, PAL. 110 00:09:51,850 --> 00:09:53,854 HEY, HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU, HUH ? 111 00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:56,559 SOUNDS GOOD, BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO GO TO EUROPE RIGHT NOW. 112 00:09:56,592 --> 00:10:00,734 MY PASSPORT EXPIRED-- NO, NO, I MEAN YOU CAN STAY HERE AND LOOK AFTER MY FISH. 113 00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:02,872 I'VE GOT A FULL BAR, HUH ? 114 00:10:02,905 --> 00:10:05,009 DIGITAL TELEVISION. 115 00:10:05,042 --> 00:10:07,682 YOU'RE ON THE BEACH. 116 00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,919 I DON'T KNOW. I-- 117 00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:19,237 I WOULD BE HONORED TO CARE FOR YOUR FISH. 118 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:38,042 JUST REMEMBER, DON'T USE MY CAR AND DON'T ANSWER MY PHONE. 119 00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:41,549 NO CAR, NO PHONE. 120 00:10:41,582 --> 00:10:43,687 SO I GUESS THROWING A BIG BEACH PARTY'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 121 00:10:47,962 --> 00:10:50,801 THIS IS A 14th CENTURY HUNGARIAN CROSSBOW. 122 00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:53,674 IT HAS KILLED A KING... 123 00:10:53,707 --> 00:10:53,940 AND CHANGED THE HISTORY OF EUROPE. 124 00:10:56,011 --> 00:11:00,553 YOU MESS UP ANYTHING IN MY APARTMENT, I'LL SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS. 125 00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,729 HAVE A GOOD TRIP. 126 00:11:12,745 --> 00:11:15,016 * COME ON, COME ON 127 00:11:18,690 --> 00:11:21,730 WOMEN PAY ME TO GIVE THEM PLEASURE. 128 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,877 [ Screams ] 129 00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:31,682 * COME ON, COME ON 130 00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:34,187 * AND TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE SAYIN' * 131 00:11:34,220 --> 00:11:36,191 * COME ON, COME ON 132 00:11:36,224 --> 00:11:38,730 * GET A WHIFF OF WHAT I'M WEARING * 133 00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:40,768 * COME ON, COME ON 134 00:11:43,639 --> 00:11:45,778 * COME ON, COME ON 135 00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,782 * AND STOP * 136 00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:49,886 [ Man ] I'M ON THE BEACH. 137 00:11:49,919 --> 00:11:52,925 I MEAN, I OPEN UP MY WINDOW, I GOT SAND BLOWIN' IN MY FACE. 138 00:11:52,958 --> 00:11:56,198 IT'S THAT CRAZY. I'D LOVE TO SHOW IT TO YOU SOMETIME. NO. 139 00:11:56,231 --> 00:11:58,168 YOU REALLY OWE IT TO YOURSELF TO SEE-- NO. 140 00:11:58,202 --> 00:12:01,609 HEY ! TRY TO GET LAID ON YOUR OWN TIME, PAL. 141 00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:04,481 [ Customers Complaining ] 142 00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,685 I GUESS I'LL JUST TAKE SOME SEA SNAILS. 143 00:12:09,257 --> 00:12:11,796 YOU BETTER GET ME SOME FROM THE COLDER TANK. 144 00:12:27,962 --> 00:12:29,932 [ Clicks, Whirrs ] 145 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,805 [ Man Calling Race ] 146 00:12:35,911 --> 00:12:38,315 [ Clicks, Whirrs ] 147 00:12:38,348 --> 00:12:41,121 ** [ "Strangers In The Night" ] 148 00:12:57,220 --> 00:13:00,059 [ Moaning, Sighing ] 149 00:13:00,092 --> 00:13:04,200 - [ Woman ] OH, YES ! OH ! - [ Doorbell Rings ] 150 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:08,208 [ Man On TV ] I'VE BEEN BAD. I'VE BEEN REALLY BAD. 151 00:13:08,242 --> 00:13:10,212 [ Hand Swatting ] [ Moaning Continues ] 152 00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:13,352 - [ Clicking Frantically ] - [ Man ] BUT IT WAS WORTH IT. 153 00:13:15,723 --> 00:13:18,262 HI. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY SOME GIRLS OF AMERICA COOKIES ? 154 00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:21,970 [ Man On TV ] DON'T HIT ME WITH THAT. COULD YOU COME BACK LATER ? 155 00:13:22,003 --> 00:13:25,710 [ Swat ] EEW. WHAT ARE [ Man ] YOU WATCHING ? OHH ! 156 00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:27,982 - [ Moaning ] - YOU'RE GROSS ! 157 00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,121 YOU'RE A SICK MAN, AND I'M GONNA TELL ! 158 00:13:31,154 --> 00:13:33,625 [ Man On TV ] HIT ME WITH IT AGAIN. HOW MUCH ? 159 00:13:59,177 --> 00:14:01,381 [ Groaning ] 160 00:14:07,995 --> 00:14:09,999 GREAT. 161 00:14:10,032 --> 00:14:12,203 [ Electricity Crackling ] 162 00:14:12,236 --> 00:14:15,743 [ Gasping ] 163 00:14:17,113 --> 00:14:19,117 [ Grunting ] 164 00:14:42,563 --> 00:14:45,102 [ Grunting, Panting ] 165 00:14:45,136 --> 00:14:47,540 [ Phone Ringing ] 166 00:14:47,573 --> 00:14:49,946 [ On Answering Machine ] HEY, DEUCE, IT'S ANTOINE. 167 00:14:49,979 --> 00:14:53,052 I JUST REALIZED I DON'T KNOW YOU THAT WELL. 168 00:14:53,085 --> 00:14:55,089 TO BE HONEST, IT'S FREAKING ME OUT A LITTLE. 169 00:14:55,122 --> 00:14:57,928 YOU JUST MAKE SURE YOU KEEP MY APARTMENT CLEAN OR YOU WILL DIE. 170 00:14:57,962 --> 00:14:59,932 BYE-BYE. [ Answering Machine Beeps ] 171 00:15:05,944 --> 00:15:08,482 OH ! OH ! 172 00:15:32,663 --> 00:15:34,600 AAH ! 173 00:15:57,313 --> 00:16:01,588 SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS ? I KNOW. IT SUCKS. 174 00:16:01,621 --> 00:16:05,296 NEIL, WHERE AM I GOING TO GET $6,000 IN THREE WEEKS ? 175 00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:09,070 I DON'T KNOW YOUR BUDGET. YOU MAY NOT WANT TO... 176 00:16:09,104 --> 00:16:11,941 BLOW YOUR WHOLE WAD ON THIS TANK. 177 00:16:13,278 --> 00:16:15,482 I WOULD. 178 00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:18,388 CAN I PAY IN INSTALLMENTS ? NO. 179 00:16:18,422 --> 00:16:22,163 I'M UP TO MY BICEP IN IT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. 180 00:16:22,196 --> 00:16:26,238 I'M NOT TRYING TO FLIP YOU OVER AND DO YOU DRY HERE. 181 00:16:26,271 --> 00:16:29,144 LOOK, SQUAT ON IT FOR A NIGHT... 182 00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:31,114 AND LET ME KNOW. 183 00:16:53,258 --> 00:16:55,329 [ Ringing ] 184 00:16:57,800 --> 00:17:00,506 WHAT ? HELLO ? [ Woman ] HI. 185 00:17:00,539 --> 00:17:03,145 I'VE BEEN STARING AT YOUR NUMBER FOR HOURS. 186 00:17:03,178 --> 00:17:05,382 I GOT IT FROM A FRIEND. 187 00:17:05,416 --> 00:17:08,822 UM, I'M NOT REALLY SUPPOSED TO USE THIS PHONE. 188 00:17:08,855 --> 00:17:10,826 WHY DON'T YOU COME OVER ? 189 00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:13,832 MY ADDRESS IS 1235 RADFORD WAY. 190 00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:16,571 ACTUALLY, I'VE-I'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK... 191 00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:19,544 TO DO HERE... STILL. 192 00:17:19,577 --> 00:17:21,581 I'M NAKED. 193 00:17:22,616 --> 00:17:25,289 * CALL ME ON THE LINE * 194 00:17:25,322 --> 00:17:29,397 * CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANYTIME * 195 00:17:29,430 --> 00:17:31,868 * CALL ME * 196 00:17:31,901 --> 00:17:34,507 ** [ Romantic ] 197 00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:42,356 NOW, THERE'S MY LITTLE GERMAN TOURIST. 198 00:17:43,525 --> 00:17:46,331 IS THIS IT ? IS THIS THE WHOLE OUTFIT ? 199 00:17:46,364 --> 00:17:48,502 IT'S PERFECT. 200 00:17:57,986 --> 00:17:59,890 "GUTEN ABEND, HERR FRAULEIN. 201 00:17:59,924 --> 00:18:04,200 YES. USE THE MAP. USE THE MAP. 202 00:18:10,579 --> 00:18:14,620 "VOHR EST DER STATUE OF LIBERTY ?" 203 00:18:14,654 --> 00:18:18,228 YOU SHOULD'VE STUCK WITH THE TOUR, HEINZ. 204 00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,599 NOW YOU'LL HAVE TO PAY THE PENALTY. 205 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:25,709 IT'S-IT'S N-NO PROBLEM. I'LL JUST, UM-- 206 00:18:25,742 --> 00:18:28,882 LET ME SLIP ON A FEW OF THESE BABIES. 207 00:18:33,023 --> 00:18:35,429 [ Loud Roar ] 208 00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:39,002 - WHAT WAS THAT ? - I DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING. 209 00:18:39,035 --> 00:18:41,274 NOW COME HERE, 210 00:18:41,308 --> 00:18:44,280 YOU NAUGHTY LITTLE SIGHTSEER. 211 00:18:44,314 --> 00:18:46,351 [ Groans ] 212 00:18:46,384 --> 00:18:48,888 - [ Roaring ] - [ Thud ] 213 00:18:48,922 --> 00:18:51,628 WAIT A SECOND. I DEFINITELY HEARD SOMETHING. 214 00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:54,567 OH, THAT'S JUST WOLFY. HE'S BEEN IN THERE A WHILE. 215 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:57,373 NOW YOU CONCENTRATE AND STAY IN CHARACTER. 216 00:18:57,406 --> 00:19:01,012 - [ Roaring ] - WOLFY, SETTLE DOWN ! 217 00:19:01,046 --> 00:19:04,654 NOW YOU JUST FOCUS ON YOUR LITTLE WIENER SCHNITZEL. 218 00:19:06,424 --> 00:19:08,962 [ Snarling ] I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE. 219 00:19:08,995 --> 00:19:11,300 DON'T WORRY. HE NEVER GETS ALL THE WAY THROUGH. 220 00:19:12,436 --> 00:19:14,674 MAYBE YOU BETTER GO. [ Barking ] 221 00:19:17,713 --> 00:19:20,419 WOLFY, YOU'VE GOTTA STOP DOING THIS TO MOMMY'S FRIENDS. 222 00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,990 YES, HE DOES. YES, HE DOES. 223 00:19:23,023 --> 00:19:25,629 HE'LL BE ALL RIGHT FOR A WHILE. HERE, THIS IS FOR YOU. 224 00:19:25,662 --> 00:19:28,066 IT'S ALL I COULD GRAB. 225 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,706 DID I BRING YOU PLEASURE ? NOT REALLY. 226 00:19:30,739 --> 00:19:34,112 YOU BETTER HAUL ASS. [ Wolfy Crashes Against Door, Whines ] 227 00:19:34,145 --> 00:19:36,718 [ Barking Continues ] 228 00:19:48,675 --> 00:19:50,612 TEN DOLLARS ? 229 00:19:52,916 --> 00:19:54,920 YEAH ! 230 00:19:58,795 --> 00:20:01,132 ** [ Night Fever ] 231 00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:07,546 ** [ Man Rapping Over Lyrics, Indistinct ] 232 00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,135 [ Man ] A MARTINI AND TWO OLIVES. 233 00:20:20,506 --> 00:20:22,476 MARTINI. TWO OLIVES. 234 00:20:22,510 --> 00:20:26,182 ANY LADIES NEED SOME ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT ? 235 00:20:36,036 --> 00:20:38,040 EIGHT-FIFTY. 236 00:20:41,881 --> 00:20:44,887 - EIGHT DOLLARS ? - AND FIFTY CENTS. 237 00:20:46,724 --> 00:20:49,263 WELL, HOW MUCH JUST FOR A PLAIN CRANBERRY JUICE ? 238 00:20:49,296 --> 00:20:52,168 - UH, THREE DOLLARS. - I'LL GO FOR THAT. 239 00:20:57,646 --> 00:21:00,752 THERE YOU GO. THAT'S ELEVEN-FIFTY. 240 00:21:01,921 --> 00:21:04,192 UH, NO, NO. PERHAPS YOU MISUNDERSTOOD ME. 241 00:21:04,225 --> 00:21:07,666 I WISH TO CANCEL MY ORIGINAL ORDER OF THE MARTINI AND TWO OLIVES... 242 00:21:07,700 --> 00:21:11,674 AND GO FOR JUST THE PLAIN CRANBERRY JUICE BY ITSELF FOR THE THREE DOLLARS. 243 00:21:11,708 --> 00:21:14,680 AND I APOLOGIZE FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE THIS MAY HAVE CAUSED YOU. 244 00:21:14,714 --> 00:21:16,851 UH, PERHAPS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 245 00:21:16,884 --> 00:21:21,192 IF YOU DON'T PAY ME NOW, I'M GONNA TAKE THIS SWIZZLE STICK... 246 00:21:21,226 --> 00:21:24,299 AND, UH, I'LL BE SHOVIN' THAT RIGHT UP YOUR PEE HOLE. 247 00:21:26,403 --> 00:21:29,242 SO THAT WAS ELEVEN-FIFTY, RIGHT ? RIGHT. 248 00:21:29,275 --> 00:21:31,948 OKAY, THERE'S TEN... 249 00:21:31,981 --> 00:21:34,887 AND SIX QUARTERS, AND-- 250 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:37,826 TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL GO WORK ON YOUR TIP. 251 00:21:39,262 --> 00:21:42,268 [ Speaking French ] 252 00:21:45,408 --> 00:21:48,381 I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING YOUR SPANISH. 253 00:21:48,414 --> 00:21:52,088 - IT'S FRENCH. - AH. OUI. 254 00:21:52,121 --> 00:21:55,294 FRENCH. NICE PEOPLE. MAY I ? 255 00:21:55,328 --> 00:21:57,966 - NO-- - [ Flatulent Sound ] 256 00:21:59,336 --> 00:22:03,076 OOH. [ Chuckles ] EXCUZES-MOI. THESE LEATHER SEATS. 257 00:22:03,110 --> 00:22:06,684 WOULD YOU LIKE A MARTINI OR CRANBERRY JUICE ? 258 00:22:06,718 --> 00:22:09,990 - NO. - KIND OF CELEBRATING TONIGHT. 259 00:22:12,863 --> 00:22:14,834 POSSIBLE CAREER CHANGE. 260 00:22:14,867 --> 00:22:17,472 MMM. 261 00:22:17,505 --> 00:22:20,010 I'M PRETTY EXCITED ABOUT IT. 262 00:22:20,044 --> 00:22:22,415 YOU WANNA GET OUT OF HERE ? 263 00:22:26,156 --> 00:22:28,962 OKAY. I'M SORRY. 264 00:22:28,995 --> 00:22:32,034 I MEAN, TOGETHER. 265 00:22:34,774 --> 00:22:36,911 [ Gulps ] 266 00:22:42,522 --> 00:22:44,526 WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CARPET ? 267 00:22:44,559 --> 00:22:48,868 OH, IT'S ONE OF THOSE 18th CENTURY WET RUGS. 268 00:22:57,284 --> 00:23:00,491 WELL, THAT'S CERTAINLY APPRECIATED. 269 00:23:01,928 --> 00:23:04,098 HEY, WHOA. 270 00:23:04,132 --> 00:23:06,537 MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE CARE OF A LITTLE BUSINESS FIRST. 271 00:23:06,570 --> 00:23:09,543 IF YOU PREFER. 272 00:23:09,576 --> 00:23:13,283 I DON'T HAVE A SET PRICE OR ANYTHING, BUT I HAVE BEEN GETTING TEN DOLLARS. 273 00:23:14,854 --> 00:23:17,559 I'M SORRY ? WELL, THAT'S MY GOING RATE. 274 00:23:17,592 --> 00:23:20,465 BUT I'M WILLING TO NEGOTIATE. 275 00:23:20,498 --> 00:23:25,340 [ Chuckles ] THAT'S FUNNY. BUT THE PRICE IS 500. 276 00:23:25,374 --> 00:23:28,614 YOU'RE GONNA PAY ME $500 ? 277 00:23:28,647 --> 00:23:33,190 NO, HONEY. YOU PAY ME. 278 00:23:33,223 --> 00:23:37,198 OH, I GET IT. THIS IS SOME KIND OF ROLE REVERSAL. 279 00:23:37,231 --> 00:23:39,202 I'LL PLAY ALONG WITH THIS. 280 00:23:39,235 --> 00:23:42,341 OKAY, 300, 400, 500. YOU'RE MY HOOKER. 281 00:23:42,374 --> 00:23:45,147 NO, SERIOUSLY, WHERE'S MY TEN DOLLARS ? 282 00:23:45,180 --> 00:23:48,621 LOOK, ASSHOLE. I DIDN'T COME ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE FOR NOTHING. 283 00:23:48,654 --> 00:23:52,228 NOW GIVE ME MY $500 ! 284 00:23:52,261 --> 00:23:55,134 YOU GIVE ME TEN DOLLARS ! 285 00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:58,006 FIVE HUNDRED, NOW ! 286 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,010 [ Groaning ] 287 00:24:00,044 --> 00:24:03,350 YOU PAY ME TEN DOLLARS. 288 00:24:04,285 --> 00:24:07,124 NICE. OOH ! 289 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,984 IS THAT ALL YOU GOT ? 290 00:24:34,178 --> 00:24:36,683 TEN DOLLARS. 291 00:24:50,811 --> 00:24:52,649 NO ! PLEASE DON'T ! 292 00:24:52,682 --> 00:24:55,655 FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS... OR THE FISH GETS IT. 293 00:24:55,688 --> 00:24:58,226 LET'S TALK ABOUT THIS. 294 00:25:06,242 --> 00:25:09,215 - WHY DO YOU HAVE A PICTURE OF ANTOINE ? - WELL, THIS IS HIS PLACE. 295 00:25:09,248 --> 00:25:12,020 I'M WATCHING HIS FISH FOR HIM. 296 00:25:16,229 --> 00:25:19,368 PLEASE, DON'T TELL HIM ABOUT THE SHOES, HUH ? 297 00:25:22,341 --> 00:25:25,380 [ Door Shuts ] [ Sighs ] 298 00:25:35,300 --> 00:25:38,306 [ Door Slams ] 299 00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:43,316 CAN I HELP YOU ? OH, MY GOD. 300 00:25:44,318 --> 00:25:46,890 I'M LOOKIN' AT A DEAD MAN. 301 00:25:46,923 --> 00:25:50,464 YOU KNOW, CLAIRE TOLD ME THAT ANTOINE'S PLACE WAS MESSED UP, 302 00:25:50,497 --> 00:25:53,303 BUT I HAD NO IDEA. 303 00:25:53,336 --> 00:25:56,376 - CLAIRE ? - THE HOOKER YOU ASS-PUNCHED. 304 00:25:56,409 --> 00:25:58,747 THAT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING. 305 00:25:58,781 --> 00:26:03,490 AND I INTEND TO HAVE EVERYTHING FIXED BY THE TIME ANTOINE GETS BACK. 306 00:26:03,523 --> 00:26:06,930 I'M JUST-- I'M JUST A LITTLE STRAPPED FOR CASH RIGHT NOW. 307 00:26:06,963 --> 00:26:09,903 MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHIN' WE COULD WORK OUT. 308 00:26:09,936 --> 00:26:12,642 CLAIRE MENTIONED THAT YOU DABBLE IN HARLOTRY. 309 00:26:12,675 --> 00:26:14,913 - I'M SORRY ? - YOU A MAN-WHORE. 310 00:26:14,946 --> 00:26:17,652 WELL, I TRIED THAT FOR A COUPLE HOURS-- SEE THIS RING? 311 00:26:17,685 --> 00:26:19,656 TOPAZ. THAT'S MY MOTHER'S BIRTHSTONE. 312 00:26:19,689 --> 00:26:21,660 GOT THAT FROM MAN-WHORIN'. 313 00:26:21,693 --> 00:26:24,365 SEE THIS KEY CHAIN ? THAT'S RIGHT. 314 00:26:24,398 --> 00:26:27,371 MINI YO-YO. KNOW WHERE I GOT THE MONEY FOR THAT ? 315 00:26:27,404 --> 00:26:29,275 - MAN-WHORING ? - STOCK MARKET. 316 00:26:29,308 --> 00:26:32,281 BUT I GOT THE MONEY FOR THE STOCK MARKET FROM MAN-WHORIN'... 317 00:26:32,314 --> 00:26:35,655 AND REPRESENTIN' MAN-WHORES LIKE YOURSELF. 318 00:26:35,688 --> 00:26:37,959 SO... YOU'RE A PIMP ? 319 00:26:37,992 --> 00:26:40,998 T.J. DON'T CONSIDER HIMSELF NO PIMP. 320 00:26:41,031 --> 00:26:43,570 MORE OF A MALE MADAM. 321 00:26:45,274 --> 00:26:47,578 THAT WASN'T TOO WELL THOUGHT OUT. 322 00:26:47,612 --> 00:26:49,883 [ T.J. ] LOOK AT THIS PROUD FISH. 323 00:26:49,916 --> 00:26:52,421 IT'S LIKE A COYOTE-- KING OF THE JUNGLE. 324 00:26:52,454 --> 00:26:56,529 IT'S LIKE ANTOINE. HE DON'T NEED NO PIMP. 325 00:26:56,562 --> 00:26:59,535 THEN LOOK AT THIS MID-LEVEL FISH HERE. 326 00:26:59,568 --> 00:27:02,574 WORKS HOTELS, CONVENTIONS, SENIOR CENTERS. 327 00:27:02,608 --> 00:27:07,017 I REPRESENT SEVERAL MAN-WHORES AT THIS LEVEL OF THE GAME. 328 00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:08,921 NOW LOOK AT THIS LITTLE FELLA, 329 00:27:08,954 --> 00:27:12,895 AT THE BOTTOM, TRYIN' TO GET BUSY WITH THE SCUBA MAN. 330 00:27:12,929 --> 00:27:17,037 YOU KNOW, IF YOU WORK HARD AND LISTEN TO ME, 331 00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:19,074 THIS COULD BE YOU. 332 00:27:19,107 --> 00:27:21,045 WELL, THANKS, 333 00:27:21,078 --> 00:27:24,385 BUT I ALREADY HAVE A JOB. 334 00:27:24,418 --> 00:27:26,389 I CLEAN FISH TANKS. 335 00:27:26,422 --> 00:27:29,963 YOU GON' MAKE $150 CLEANIN' FISH TANKS ? $150 ? 336 00:27:29,996 --> 00:27:32,534 YEAH. FISH AIN'T GON' PAY FOR ALL THIS. 337 00:27:35,440 --> 00:27:37,812 I DON'T KNOW. 338 00:27:37,845 --> 00:27:40,484 YOU KNOW, ANTOINE'S GOT A BAD TEMPER. 339 00:27:40,517 --> 00:27:41,552 I REMEMBER ONCE I DROPPED A CIGAR ASH ON HIS RUG. 340 00:27:43,891 --> 00:27:47,464 HE MADE ME PICK IT UP WITH MY ANUS. 341 00:27:49,134 --> 00:27:52,541 WELL, MAYBE I COULD DO A COUPLE JOBS, 342 00:27:52,574 --> 00:27:55,514 JUST TO GET THIS PLACE FIXED UP. 343 00:28:07,772 --> 00:28:10,143 WE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO. 344 00:28:10,176 --> 00:28:19,061 ** 345 00:28:19,094 --> 00:28:21,767 * I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES 346 00:28:23,235 --> 00:28:25,073 * WHERE YOU FROM 347 00:28:25,106 --> 00:28:27,611 * YOU SEXY THING * SEXY THING, YOU 348 00:28:27,644 --> 00:28:29,615 * I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES 349 00:28:29,648 --> 00:28:31,853 AAAAAH ! 350 00:28:31,887 --> 00:28:34,057 * SINCE YOU CAME ALONG 351 00:28:34,091 --> 00:28:35,627 * YOU SEXY THING * 352 00:28:35,660 --> 00:28:38,901 ** 353 00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:42,207 ** AAAAAAH ! [ Groans ] 354 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:55,233 ** 355 00:28:55,266 --> 00:28:58,673 ** 356 00:28:58,706 --> 00:29:00,677 ** [ Tape Rips ] YEEEEE-AAAAAH ! 357 00:29:00,710 --> 00:29:04,518 [ Scream Continues, Reverberates ] 358 00:29:04,552 --> 00:29:07,123 YOU A MAN-WHORE NOW. 359 00:29:07,157 --> 00:29:09,294 I'M SO PROUD. 360 00:29:09,327 --> 00:29:11,131 THANKS, T.J. 361 00:29:11,165 --> 00:29:14,137 NOW REMEMBER, IT'S A BUSINESS. 362 00:29:14,171 --> 00:29:17,177 NEVER, EVER FALL IN LOVE. 363 00:29:24,658 --> 00:29:27,631 [ Car Starts, Races Away ] 364 00:29:27,664 --> 00:29:30,269 [ Buzzer Lock Sounds ] 365 00:29:40,089 --> 00:29:42,694 [ Low, Masculine Voice ] I'M UPSTAIRS ! 366 00:30:00,129 --> 00:30:02,634 OKAY, DEUCE, 367 00:30:02,668 --> 00:30:04,672 DON'T FALL IN LOVE. 368 00:30:16,428 --> 00:30:18,032 I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKIN'. 369 00:30:19,869 --> 00:30:24,144 YOU'RE THINKIN' THOSE ARE THE BIGGEST BOOBIES YOU'VE EVER SEEN. 370 00:30:24,177 --> 00:30:26,148 CAN I PLEASE USE YOUR PHONE ? 371 00:30:26,181 --> 00:30:28,152 I'M NOT YOUR AVERAGE WOMAN. 372 00:30:28,185 --> 00:30:30,156 I LIKE SEX, 373 00:30:30,189 --> 00:30:33,395 AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO ADM-- [ Wet Coughing ] 374 00:30:36,068 --> 00:30:38,339 EXCUSE ME. I JUST HAD PUDDING AN HOUR AGO. 375 00:30:38,372 --> 00:30:43,049 - DEAR GOD. - YOU EVER PARKED YOUR BICYCLE IN AN AIRPLANE HANGAR ? 376 00:30:43,082 --> 00:30:48,459 - I'M SORRY ? - YOU EVER THROWN A TOOTHPICK INTO A VOLCANO ? 377 00:30:48,492 --> 00:30:51,365 - WHAT ? - OH, NOTHING. 378 00:30:51,398 --> 00:30:54,171 JUST MAKING IDLE CHITCHAT. 379 00:30:54,204 --> 00:30:57,443 - ARE YOU COMFORTABLE ? - ACTUALLY, NO. 380 00:30:57,477 --> 00:31:00,750 OOH, I'M SWEATIN'. 381 00:31:00,784 --> 00:31:02,788 YOU'RE GETTIN' ME ALL HOT. 382 00:31:03,924 --> 00:31:05,526 YOU DON'T LIKE MY HAIR, DO YOU ? 383 00:31:05,559 --> 00:31:08,499 - I THINK THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE. - DID YOU SAY STEAK ? 384 00:31:08,532 --> 00:31:11,405 - NO, MISTAKE. - OH, SEE, NOW YOU GOT ME ALL EXCITED. 385 00:31:11,438 --> 00:31:13,409 LOOK, I'M GAY. 386 00:31:13,442 --> 00:31:15,847 WELL, HOW GAY ARE YOU ? 387 00:31:15,881 --> 00:31:19,121 VERY, VERY GAY. YOU MUST HAVE DIALED THE VERY GAY ESCORT SERVICE. 388 00:31:19,154 --> 00:31:21,125 OH, SHIT. 389 00:31:21,158 --> 00:31:25,399 SEE, SOMETIMES MY FINGERS SWELL UP AND I CAN'T CLEANLY HIT THE NUMBERS. 390 00:31:25,433 --> 00:31:29,274 - THEY SHOULD MAKE A PHONE FOR FULL-FIGURED GIRLS. - THEY SHOULD. 391 00:31:29,307 --> 00:31:32,982 SO, WHAT DO WE DO ? 392 00:31:36,455 --> 00:31:40,563 [ Woman ] OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH ! 393 00:31:40,596 --> 00:31:44,004 CAKES AND PIES. CAKES AND PIES. [ Giggling ] 394 00:31:44,037 --> 00:31:47,010 OKAY, WHICH PIE HAS THE MOST SUGAR ? 395 00:31:47,043 --> 00:31:49,447 PEACH COBBLER. [ Sighs ] YOU WIN AGAIN. 396 00:31:49,481 --> 00:31:51,618 THAT'S FOUR GAMES TO ONE. 397 00:31:51,651 --> 00:31:54,491 WELL, FAST FOOD TRIVIA IS MY GAME, HONEY. 398 00:31:57,230 --> 00:32:01,171 I MUST TELL YOU, NOBODY HAS EVER PLEASURED JABBA THE SLUT. 399 00:32:01,205 --> 00:32:05,579 DEUCEY, YOU HAVE A WAY OF SATISFYING A WOMAN THAT WOULD SICKEN A NORMAL MAN. 400 00:32:05,613 --> 00:32:07,650 I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. 401 00:32:07,683 --> 00:32:10,223 YOU MUST HAVE A MAGICAL "MAN-GINA." 402 00:32:10,256 --> 00:32:12,327 HUH ? "MAN-GINA." 403 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:17,403 IT'S A PROFESSIONAL TERM WE MAN-WHORES USE TO DESCRIBE OUR... HE-PUSSY. 404 00:32:17,437 --> 00:32:19,607 I'M NOT ONE OF YOUR MAN-WHORES. 405 00:32:19,641 --> 00:32:21,211 OKAY ? I QUIT. 406 00:32:21,245 --> 00:32:23,649 YOU UNGRATEFUL HE-BITCH. 407 00:32:23,682 --> 00:32:27,090 HOW 'BOUT I GET ANTOINE ON THE PHONE IN SWITZERLAND AND TELL HIM... 408 00:32:27,123 --> 00:32:29,094 HOW YOU REDECORATED HIS POON PALACE. 409 00:32:29,127 --> 00:32:32,700 I'M NOT AN UNGRATEFUL HE-BITCH. 410 00:32:32,733 --> 00:32:35,039 JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE TO THINK HERE. 411 00:32:48,332 --> 00:32:50,336 [ Urinal Flushes ] 412 00:33:00,623 --> 00:33:02,760 THANKS. 413 00:33:02,793 --> 00:33:05,599 HOW'S IT GOING ? PRETTY GOOD. 414 00:33:05,633 --> 00:33:08,739 HEY, DAD, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. AND WHAT'S THAT, SON ? 415 00:33:08,772 --> 00:33:12,313 DO YOU THINK IT'S WRONG FOR A MAN TO ACCEPT MONEY FROM A WOMAN... 416 00:33:12,347 --> 00:33:14,751 TO, YOU KNOW, SHOW HER A GOOD TIME ? 417 00:33:14,784 --> 00:33:17,123 I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THAT THIS MORNING. 418 00:33:17,157 --> 00:33:21,131 THE IDEA OF A MAN-WHORE IS A RELATIVELY NEW IDEA. 419 00:33:23,535 --> 00:33:25,639 COLOGNE ? NO, THANKS. 420 00:33:25,673 --> 00:33:28,112 [ Loud Fart ] 421 00:33:28,145 --> 00:33:31,485 THESE WOMEN ARE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING MORE THAN JUST SEX. THEY WANT ROMANCE. 422 00:33:31,518 --> 00:33:33,689 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? [ Loud Fart ] 423 00:33:33,722 --> 00:33:38,065 WELL, IT WAS LIKE WHEN I MET YOUR MOM, GOD REST HER SOUL. 424 00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:41,138 I DIDN'T HAVE SO MUCH AS A TOILET TO CLEAN. 425 00:33:41,171 --> 00:33:45,146 STILL, I WASN'T GOING TO PAY HER A DIME FOR SEX, NO MATTER WHAT SHE WAS CHARGING. 426 00:33:45,179 --> 00:33:46,815 WHAT ? [ Loud Fart ] 427 00:33:46,848 --> 00:33:50,256 YOUR MOM COULD'VE HAD ANY MAN SHE WANTED IN THAT STRIP CLUB, 428 00:33:50,289 --> 00:33:54,697 AND THIS BEING MY FIRST TIME IN BANGKOK, I WAS LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME MYSELF. 429 00:33:54,731 --> 00:33:57,170 YOU MET MOM WHERE ? IT'S NOT IMPORTANT. [ Loud Fart ] 430 00:33:57,203 --> 00:33:59,707 THE THING IS, SHE SAW SOMETHING IN ME... 431 00:33:59,741 --> 00:34:02,380 BEYOND THE 200 BAHT-- 432 00:34:02,413 --> 00:34:04,351 A MAN WITH AN EYE FOR ADVENTURE... 433 00:34:04,384 --> 00:34:06,521 WHO WASN'T AFRAID TO RISK IT ALL. 434 00:34:06,555 --> 00:34:08,559 DAD, ARE YOU SAYING THAT-- 435 00:34:08,592 --> 00:34:12,533 [ Grunting, Shit Splattering Into Toilet ] 436 00:34:12,567 --> 00:34:15,873 SO WE TOOK ALL HER ONE-DOLLAR BILLS OFF THE STAGE, 437 00:34:15,906 --> 00:34:17,877 SAID GOOD-BYE TO THAT DONKEY... 438 00:34:17,910 --> 00:34:21,885 AND TWO DAYS LATER WE WERE MAN AND WIFE. 439 00:34:21,918 --> 00:34:24,491 AND WE WERE HAPPILY MARRIED A LONG TIME. 440 00:34:24,524 --> 00:34:28,765 SO, DO YOU THINK I SHOULD BE MORE OF A RISK-TAKER ? 441 00:34:28,799 --> 00:34:30,803 [ Toilet Flushing ] WORKED FOR ME. 442 00:34:30,836 --> 00:34:32,807 THANKS, POPS. 443 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,844 [ Toilet Continues Flushing ] 444 00:34:36,915 --> 00:34:39,521 WELL, SON, 445 00:34:39,554 --> 00:34:42,527 LOOKS LIKE I'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO. 446 00:34:47,001 --> 00:34:49,207 YOU GOT YOURSELF A MAN-WHORE. 447 00:34:49,241 --> 00:34:50,976 HAH ! [ Chuckling ] 448 00:34:51,009 --> 00:34:52,847 MY MAN ! 449 00:35:05,406 --> 00:35:08,245 IS-- IS TINA HERE ? YES. 450 00:35:08,279 --> 00:35:10,849 I'M DEUCE BIGALOW, YOUR DATE. 451 00:35:10,883 --> 00:35:12,987 I'LL GET MY THINGS. 452 00:35:18,532 --> 00:35:21,036 I LOVE THIS PLACE. 453 00:35:21,069 --> 00:35:23,275 WHERE YOU FROM AGAIN ? NORWAY. 454 00:35:23,309 --> 00:35:26,281 [ Man #1 ] FREAK ! I HEAR GREAT THINGS ABOUT IT. 455 00:35:26,315 --> 00:35:29,621 [ Man #2 ] HOLY SHIT, IT'S BIGFOOT ! SO, HOW'D YOU END UP HERE ? 456 00:35:29,654 --> 00:35:32,627 I HAD A PITUITARY GLAND PROCEDURE AT U.C.L.A. MEDICAL CENTER... 457 00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:35,599 AND FELL IN LOVE WITH THE PEOPLE HERE. 458 00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:37,637 [ Man #3 ] HEY, KEEP IT IN THE CIRCUS ! 459 00:35:37,670 --> 00:35:41,611 THIS PLACE HAS GONE WAY DOWNHILL. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE ? 460 00:35:41,645 --> 00:35:43,615 [ Man #4 ] THAT'S A HUGE BITCH ! 461 00:35:44,951 --> 00:35:47,790 I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT THOSE PEOPLE SAID. 462 00:35:47,823 --> 00:35:50,396 YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GO ON AL THE RIDES. 463 00:35:50,429 --> 00:35:52,667 [ Cup Slams On Table ] 464 00:35:52,700 --> 00:35:55,071 I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME, 465 00:35:55,104 --> 00:35:56,941 BUT I SHOULD GO-- [ Groans ] 466 00:35:56,975 --> 00:35:59,079 EASY. EASY ! 467 00:35:59,112 --> 00:36:00,683 HEY, EASY ! 468 00:36:00,716 --> 00:36:02,953 [ Grunts ] WAIT ! WAIT ! 469 00:36:02,987 --> 00:36:04,991 AAH ! WAIT, WAIT ! 470 00:36:05,024 --> 00:36:08,599 I KNOW WHAT WE COULD DO ! I GOT IT ! 471 00:36:08,632 --> 00:36:12,840 GIVE ME A SECOND TO THINK HERE ! WAIT ! WHOA ! 472 00:36:12,873 --> 00:36:17,550 [ Tina Moaning ] OH, YES. OHH ! 473 00:36:17,583 --> 00:36:20,021 MMMM. OHH. 474 00:36:20,054 --> 00:36:23,495 [ Moaning Continues ] 475 00:36:26,601 --> 00:36:28,572 OH, GOD ! 476 00:36:28,605 --> 00:36:32,580 OH, NO ONE HAS EVER TOUCHED MY FEET BEFORE. 477 00:36:32,613 --> 00:36:35,017 WOW ! OOOH ! 478 00:36:35,051 --> 00:36:37,088 [ Moaning Continues ] 479 00:36:46,608 --> 00:36:48,545 DEUCE BIGALOW ? 480 00:36:48,579 --> 00:36:50,516 DETECTIVE FOWLER, L.A.P.D. 481 00:36:50,549 --> 00:36:54,457 I WANT TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS ABOUT ANTOINE LACONTE, 482 00:36:54,491 --> 00:36:58,197 KNOWN GIGOLO, MALE PROSTITUTE. 483 00:36:58,231 --> 00:37:01,237 I'M JUST TAKING CARE OF HIS FISH. 484 00:37:01,270 --> 00:37:02,940 I'LL BET YOU ARE. 485 00:37:02,973 --> 00:37:04,544 YOU MAKE ME SICK. 486 00:37:04,577 --> 00:37:09,921 YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT GIGANTIC WOMAN DIDN'T JUST PAY YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH HER ? 487 00:37:09,954 --> 00:37:12,660 NO ! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISTER. 488 00:37:12,693 --> 00:37:16,968 I CAN SLEEP AT NIGHT BECAUSE I MAKE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING, HONEST LIVING. 489 00:37:17,001 --> 00:37:19,941 I'M SURE YOU DO, BUT THERE'S NOTHING I CAN TELL YOU. 490 00:37:19,974 --> 00:37:21,845 OH, I THINK THERE IS. 491 00:37:21,878 --> 00:37:23,815 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS ? 492 00:37:23,849 --> 00:37:26,855 YOU THINK I CAN GET ANYTHING FOR IT ? YOU KNOW, MONEY ? I DON'T KNOW ! 493 00:37:26,888 --> 00:37:30,696 YEAH, YOU THINK I'M A LOSER, DON'T YOU ? NO, I DON'T. 494 00:37:30,729 --> 00:37:35,137 WELL, MAYBE I AM A LOSER, BUT I'M A LOSER WHO CAN BUST YOUR ASS. 495 00:37:35,171 --> 00:37:38,845 YOU TELL ANTOINE I'M GONNA NAIL HIM. 496 00:37:42,653 --> 00:37:44,189 [ Zipper Zips ] 497 00:37:55,779 --> 00:37:57,750 [ Rings ] [ Woman ] HELLO. 498 00:37:57,783 --> 00:38:00,355 IS THIS RUTH ? YEAH. I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN-- 499 00:38:00,388 --> 00:38:02,927 GODDAMN IT ! 500 00:38:02,960 --> 00:38:04,997 NICE DAY, HUH ? YEAH. 501 00:38:05,031 --> 00:38:07,068 SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS ! 502 00:38:07,101 --> 00:38:09,239 [ Tires Screeching ] [ Horn Honking ] 503 00:38:11,945 --> 00:38:14,350 GEEZ, YOU OKAY ? 504 00:38:14,383 --> 00:38:17,221 I'M SORRY. I HAVE TOURETTE'S SYNDROME. 505 00:38:17,255 --> 00:38:20,896 IT CAUSES ME TO HAVE THESE UNCONTROLLABLE OUTBURSTS. 506 00:38:20,929 --> 00:38:23,401 IT'S NOT SO BAD. YEAH, IT'S OKAY. 507 00:38:23,434 --> 00:38:25,372 I MEAN, YOU GET USED TO IT. 508 00:38:25,405 --> 00:38:27,943 BALL SWEAT ! ANUS ! 509 00:38:27,977 --> 00:38:29,947 ANUS LICKER ! [ Gagging Noise ] 510 00:38:31,016 --> 00:38:33,120 YOU KNOW, THERE ARE SOME PLACES... 511 00:38:33,153 --> 00:38:35,124 I CAN'T G-G-GO-- 512 00:38:35,157 --> 00:38:37,295 NIPPLE BITER ! NAAH-NAAH-NAAH-NAAH-NYIII ! 513 00:38:38,832 --> 00:38:41,805 WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT ? I BARELY NOTICE IT. 514 00:38:41,838 --> 00:38:43,975 [ Giggles ] SCROTUM ! 515 00:38:44,009 --> 00:38:46,313 SPERM ! SPERM FACE ! 516 00:38:47,717 --> 00:38:50,154 I JUST CAN'T GO NEAR PLACES LIKE CHURCHES-- 517 00:38:50,187 --> 00:38:51,858 HA HA ! VULVA ! 518 00:38:51,891 --> 00:38:55,432 ELEMENTARY SCHOOLS-- JIZZ ! JIZZ TRAP ! 519 00:38:55,465 --> 00:38:57,436 PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE. 520 00:38:57,469 --> 00:39:00,041 EHH-- FART ! DILDO ! 521 00:39:00,074 --> 00:39:01,276 BIG-- BIG, BIG TITTIES ! 522 00:39:02,512 --> 00:39:05,719 SHIT ! SHIT WHORE ! 523 00:39:05,753 --> 00:39:10,027 LET'S PUT THE TOP UP. I'LL PUT ON THE AIR CONDITIONING. 524 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,472 YOU PROBABLY WANT TO TAKE ME HOME, DON'T YOU ? 525 00:39:15,505 --> 00:39:17,341 NO. 526 00:39:19,112 --> 00:39:21,083 HEY, I GOT AN IDEA. 527 00:39:22,386 --> 00:39:25,759 ** [ Organ: Charge ] 528 00:39:25,793 --> 00:39:28,531 I'M NERVOUS. THERE'S A LOT OF PEOPLE HERE. 529 00:39:28,564 --> 00:39:30,535 DON'T WORRY-- CRAP MUNCHER ! 530 00:39:30,568 --> 00:39:32,506 [ Man Mutters ] "CRAP MUNCHER" ? 531 00:39:32,539 --> 00:39:35,077 I KNOW ! HE WAS DEFINITELY SAFE ! 532 00:39:35,111 --> 00:39:38,484 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE OTHER TEAM ? ASSHOLES ! 533 00:39:38,518 --> 00:39:41,089 RIGHT. AND THEIR PITCHER-- 534 00:39:41,123 --> 00:39:44,062 I MEAN, STOP STALLING AND THROW IT ALREADY. 535 00:39:44,095 --> 00:39:46,534 BALL HAIR ! BALL HAIR ! 536 00:39:46,567 --> 00:39:48,805 YEAH, BALL HAIR ! 537 00:39:48,839 --> 00:39:51,945 WHAT WE NEED IS A STRIKE HAIR. 538 00:39:51,978 --> 00:39:54,817 THAT OTHER TEAM IS A BUNCH OF HIGH-PRICED BABIES ! 539 00:39:54,851 --> 00:39:56,821 - WHORES ! - YEAH ! YOU TELL 'EM, BABY ! 540 00:39:56,855 --> 00:40:01,998 [ Crowd Cheering ] 541 00:40:02,031 --> 00:40:04,135 [ Crowd Booing ] THEY CALLED HIM OUT ? 542 00:40:04,169 --> 00:40:06,941 - SCROTUM LICKER ! - YEAH ! 543 00:40:06,975 --> 00:40:09,245 PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! 544 00:40:09,279 --> 00:40:14,255 [ All Chanting ] PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! 545 00:40:14,289 --> 00:40:17,128 PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! PISS FACE ! 546 00:40:19,232 --> 00:40:23,040 DEUCEY, YOU THE BEST HE-BITCH IN MY MAN-STABLE. 547 00:40:23,073 --> 00:40:26,480 IF I HAD TWO MORE MAN-GINAS LIKE YOU, I'D BE A MILLIONAIRE. 548 00:40:26,514 --> 00:40:29,052 T.J., I THINK I'M GONNA GET OUT. 549 00:40:29,085 --> 00:40:30,655 SIT DOWN. 550 00:40:30,688 --> 00:40:35,665 - THIS NEXT DATE IS WHAT WE MAN-PIMPS CALL A DOOZY. - WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS ONE ? 551 00:40:35,698 --> 00:40:37,536 NOTHIN'. HAVE YOU SEEN HER ? 552 00:40:37,569 --> 00:40:40,141 WHAT IS SHE, 80 ? A HUNCHBACK ? 553 00:40:40,174 --> 00:40:45,151 SHE JUST GOT OUT OF COLLEGE. HER GIRLFRIENDS PITCHED IN TO GET HER A LITTLE BEEFCAKE. 554 00:40:45,184 --> 00:40:48,624 SHE THINKS IT'S A BLIND DATE. IT'S A GUY, ISN'T IT ? 555 00:40:50,027 --> 00:40:53,568 I DON'T THINK SO, BUT I HAVE BEEN FOOLED BEFORE. 556 00:41:16,346 --> 00:41:18,317 YOU MUST BE KATE. 557 00:41:18,350 --> 00:41:20,321 EXCUSE ME. WAITER. 558 00:41:20,354 --> 00:41:24,195 UH, YEAH, SORRY. WE'RE BUSY TONIGHT. 559 00:41:26,299 --> 00:41:28,203 ALL RIGHT, NUMBER FOUR ? YES, THANK YOU. 560 00:41:32,178 --> 00:41:34,650 - I'M KATE. - ARE YOU SURE ? 561 00:41:34,683 --> 00:41:36,754 I THINK SO. 562 00:41:36,787 --> 00:41:39,359 I'M SORRY. YOU'RE JUST NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. 563 00:41:40,394 --> 00:41:43,167 - REALLY. - NO, NO. 564 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:46,373 I-I MEAN, IN A GOOD WAY. 565 00:41:46,406 --> 00:41:50,314 THEY DIDN'T SAY YOU WERE SO... PERFECT. 566 00:41:50,347 --> 00:41:52,418 [ Laughs ] "PERFECT." 567 00:41:53,688 --> 00:41:56,794 SALLY AND MEGAN DIDN'T TELL ME A LOT ABOUT YOU. 568 00:41:56,827 --> 00:41:56,860 WHO ? 569 00:41:59,866 --> 00:42:01,837 OH, RIGHT, UH-- 570 00:42:01,870 --> 00:42:05,444 WELL, I CLEAN TANKS... ERS. TANKERS. 571 00:42:06,714 --> 00:42:09,252 I'M SORRY. I'M STILL KINDA SHOCKED. 572 00:42:09,285 --> 00:42:12,191 I MEAN, YOU'RE-- YOU'RE REALLY NORMAL. 573 00:42:13,227 --> 00:42:15,231 THANK YOU. 574 00:42:15,264 --> 00:42:17,836 MY LAST COUPLE OF DATES HAVE BEEN HORRIBLE. 575 00:42:17,869 --> 00:42:22,211 - YOU GET FIXED UP ON A LOT OF BLIND DATES ? - ONLY RECENTLY. 576 00:42:23,280 --> 00:42:26,820 - HOW ABOUT YOU ? - THIS IS MY FIRST. 577 00:42:26,854 --> 00:42:30,394 - I HOPE THIS PLACE IS OKAY. - ARE YOU KIDDING ? IT'S TERRIFIC. 578 00:42:32,766 --> 00:42:34,636 [ Gasps ] OH, GOD. 579 00:42:34,670 --> 00:42:37,776 - ARE YOU OKAY ? - IS THIS ONE OF THOSE-- 580 00:42:37,809 --> 00:42:40,147 IT'S A SUSHI BAR. 581 00:42:40,181 --> 00:42:42,318 ARE YOU ALLERGIC ? YOU COULD SAY THAT. 582 00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:45,391 [ Exhales ] THAT'S A DOG-FACED PUFFER FISH OVER THERE. 583 00:42:45,424 --> 00:42:49,332 HE'S NOT EVEN FULLY MATURED YET. HE'S A TEENAGER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD ! 584 00:42:49,365 --> 00:42:52,171 [ Speaking Japanese ] 585 00:42:52,205 --> 00:42:54,643 CAN I ASK YOU TO STOP THAT, PLEASE ? 586 00:42:54,676 --> 00:42:56,213 HAI. 587 00:42:59,219 --> 00:43:03,360 I DON'T SEE HOW IT COULD POSSIBLY BE PLEASURABLE FOR A WOMAN. 588 00:43:03,393 --> 00:43:06,299 I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S NATURAL. 589 00:43:06,333 --> 00:43:08,671 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GO UP THERE. 590 00:43:08,704 --> 00:43:11,677 TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I DON'T KNOW HOW MEN DO IT EITHER. 591 00:43:11,710 --> 00:43:14,950 YOU'RE NOT CURIOUS JUST TO TRY SOMETHING NEW ? 592 00:43:14,983 --> 00:43:17,956 I'M JUST NOT INTO IT. 593 00:43:17,989 --> 00:43:21,563 SO SPACE EXPLORATION IS DEFINITELY OUT FOR YOU. DEFINITELY. 594 00:43:21,596 --> 00:43:24,569 I MEAN, MORE POWER TO ANY WOMAN WHO WANTS TO BE AN ASTRONAUT. 595 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:26,573 I JUST WOULDN'T DO IT. 596 00:43:26,607 --> 00:43:29,579 FRANKLY, I'D RATHER TAKE IT UP THE BUTT. 597 00:43:33,287 --> 00:43:36,293 SO YOU THINK THIS IS A GOOD SPOT ? 598 00:43:37,395 --> 00:43:39,399 PERFECT. 599 00:43:41,770 --> 00:43:43,708 LIFE'S FUNNY, HUH ? MMM. 600 00:43:43,741 --> 00:43:45,645 SOME PRETTY CLOSE CALLS. 601 00:43:47,047 --> 00:43:49,920 WONDER IF HE KNEW HOW CLOSE HE CAME TO THE END. 602 00:43:49,953 --> 00:43:52,625 OH, HE KNEW. 603 00:43:52,659 --> 00:43:56,299 I BET HE NEVER THOUGHT HE'D BE HELD BY SUCH A LOVELY WOMAN. 604 00:43:56,333 --> 00:43:58,370 DEUCE. 605 00:43:58,403 --> 00:44:02,478 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF OUR NEW FRIEND. 606 00:44:02,511 --> 00:44:12,631 ** 607 00:44:12,666 --> 00:44:15,504 ** THAT WAS A REALLY NICE THING YOU DID TONIGHT. 608 00:44:15,537 --> 00:44:16,940 ** 609 00:44:16,974 --> 00:44:20,113 ** TOO BAD IT'S A FRESHWATER FISH. 610 00:44:20,146 --> 00:44:22,686 ** [ Laughs ] I-I'M KIDDING. 611 00:44:22,719 --> 00:44:24,690 ** I'M JUST JOKING. 612 00:44:24,723 --> 00:44:26,526 ** 613 00:44:26,559 --> 00:44:28,497 * TAKES SOME TIME [ Door Unlocks ] 614 00:44:28,530 --> 00:44:31,436 * FOR OUR FEELINGS TO GROW 615 00:44:31,469 --> 00:44:35,143 * OOOH-OOH-OOH-OOH GOOD NIGHT. 616 00:44:35,176 --> 00:44:37,014 * YOU'RE SO CLOSE NOW GOOD NIGHT. 617 00:44:37,047 --> 00:44:40,722 * I CAN'T LET YOU GO 618 00:44:40,755 --> 00:44:43,393 * OOOH-OOH-OOH-OOH 619 00:44:43,427 --> 00:44:47,736 * AND I CAN'T LET GO 620 00:44:47,769 --> 00:44:51,810 * WITH YOU I'M NOT SHY 621 00:44:51,844 --> 00:44:54,114 * TO SHOW THE WAY I FEEL 622 00:44:54,148 --> 00:44:56,686 * WITH YOU I MIGHT TRY * 623 00:44:58,222 --> 00:45:00,527 YOU'VE HAD YOURSELF AN INTERESTING LITTLE EVENING. 624 00:45:00,561 --> 00:45:04,168 JUST TAKING CARE OF HIS FISH, HUH ? SHE LOOKS LIKE A NICE CATCH. 625 00:45:04,201 --> 00:45:07,776 IT WAS A FIRST DATE. LISTEN UP, MAN-WHORE. 626 00:45:07,809 --> 00:45:09,746 I OUGHTA BUST YOU RIGHT NOW. 627 00:45:09,780 --> 00:45:13,152 WE JUST HAD SUSHI. "SUSHI" ? IS THAT WHAT THEY CALL IT NOWADAYS ? 628 00:45:13,186 --> 00:45:15,925 I'M HIP TO YOUR MAN-WHORE SLANG. 629 00:45:15,958 --> 00:45:21,235 ALL RIGHT, FINE, WHY DON'T I JUST GO HAVE A CHAT WITH YOUR SPICY TUNA ROLL. 630 00:45:21,268 --> 00:45:22,671 NO, DON'T ! 631 00:45:23,974 --> 00:45:26,880 ALL RIGHT. OKAY, DEUCE. 632 00:45:26,914 --> 00:45:28,918 NO PROBLEM, BABY. RELAX. 633 00:45:28,951 --> 00:45:32,257 MAYBE I'LL EVEN LET THIS ONE SLIDE FOR SOME INFORMATION. 634 00:45:32,290 --> 00:45:34,830 LIKE ANTOINE'S BLACK BOOK. 635 00:45:34,863 --> 00:45:37,969 YOU KNOW, THE ONE WITH HIS LIST OF CLIENTS. I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT. 636 00:45:38,002 --> 00:45:40,473 OH, YEAH ? YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS ? 637 00:45:41,275 --> 00:45:43,680 LOOK. SEE THAT RED SPOT ? 638 00:45:43,713 --> 00:45:47,020 THAT WASN'T THERE THIS MORNING. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS ? 639 00:45:47,054 --> 00:45:50,527 MAYBE IT'S A RASH, SOMETHING YOU GOT FROM JOGGING. HOW THE HELL DO I KNOW ? 640 00:45:50,561 --> 00:45:53,600 GET IT AWAY FROM ME. 641 00:45:53,633 --> 00:45:55,604 MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. 642 00:45:55,637 --> 00:45:57,876 YOU GOT THREE DAYS, BIGALOW. 643 00:45:57,909 --> 00:45:59,745 [ Zipper Zips ] 644 00:46:05,858 --> 00:46:09,164 T.J., I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL. 645 00:46:09,198 --> 00:46:13,740 DEUCEY, DON'T BE FALLING IN LOVE WITH NO SHE-JOHN. YOU'RE IN IT FOR THE MONEY. 646 00:46:13,774 --> 00:46:17,047 ANTOINE'LL BE BACK SOON. APARTMENT AIN'T GONNA PAY TO FIX ITSELF. 647 00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,051 I KNOW. 648 00:46:19,084 --> 00:46:22,992 - HEY, THERE'S BEEN THIS DETECTIVE FOLLOWING ME. - GODDAMN IT, WHITE BOY ! 649 00:46:23,026 --> 00:46:26,232 - YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM NOTHIN' ABOUT ME, DID YA ? - NO, BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO ? 650 00:46:27,902 --> 00:46:30,908 - ABOUT WHAT ? - ABOUT THE COP. 651 00:46:30,942 --> 00:46:33,246 WOULD YOU STOP MENTIONING THE DAMN COPS ! 652 00:46:33,279 --> 00:46:36,285 DON'T MAKE ME HE-BITCH MAN-SLAP YOU. 653 00:46:42,731 --> 00:46:45,070 [ Doorbell Rings ] 654 00:46:47,140 --> 00:46:50,714 HI, I'M DEUCE BIGALOW, YOUR MAN-WHORE FOR THIS EVENING. 655 00:46:50,747 --> 00:46:52,886 HI, I'M CAROL-- 656 00:46:52,919 --> 00:46:55,892 [ Thud ] [ Snoring ] 657 00:46:55,925 --> 00:46:58,429 I HAVE NARCOLEPSY. IT'S A SLEEPING DISORDER. 658 00:46:58,462 --> 00:47:00,300 IT ISN'T THE WORST THING. 659 00:47:00,333 --> 00:47:03,974 I'M JUST NOT ALLOWED TO FLY IN A PLANE OR DRIVE A CAR... 660 00:47:04,008 --> 00:47:05,978 OR WORK IN A GUN RANGE. 661 00:47:06,012 --> 00:47:08,783 - [ Chuckles ] YEAH. - [ Giggles ] 662 00:47:15,898 --> 00:47:17,801 [ Snoring ] 663 00:47:26,485 --> 00:47:28,456 THIS IS SUCH A TREAT. 664 00:47:28,489 --> 00:47:32,464 I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO TRY SOUP, BUT THERE'S THE FEAR OF DROWNING. 665 00:47:32,497 --> 00:47:34,701 [ Snoring ] 666 00:47:42,184 --> 00:47:44,154 I REALLY HAD FUN. 667 00:47:44,188 --> 00:47:47,527 - ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY ? - I'LL BE FINE. 668 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:49,531 YOU SURE ? YEAH. 669 00:47:49,564 --> 00:47:51,803 GOOD NIGHT. 670 00:47:53,139 --> 00:47:56,145 [ Thudding Down Stairs ] 671 00:48:05,096 --> 00:48:14,882 ** 672 00:48:14,916 --> 00:48:19,158 * I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BABY * 673 00:48:19,191 --> 00:48:21,829 * I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BABY * 674 00:48:21,863 --> 00:48:24,301 * YES, IT'S TRUE 675 00:48:25,603 --> 00:48:28,542 * YES, IT'S TRUE 676 00:48:30,613 --> 00:48:34,121 * WHENEVER WE KISS I GET TO FEELIN' LIKE THIS * 677 00:48:34,154 --> 00:48:38,129 * I GET TO WISHIN' THAT THERE WERE TWO OF YOU * 678 00:48:38,162 --> 00:48:40,266 ** [ Continues ] COME ON. YOU CAN DANCE. 679 00:48:40,300 --> 00:48:44,943 * COME ON, BABY IT FEELS SO NICE * 680 00:48:44,976 --> 00:48:47,047 * I WANT YOUR ARMS TO 681 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:51,022 * WRAP AROUND ME TWICE 682 00:48:53,994 --> 00:48:58,069 * I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BABY * 683 00:48:58,102 --> 00:49:01,075 * I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BABY * 684 00:49:01,108 --> 00:49:02,610 * RIGHT OR WRONG 685 00:49:04,681 --> 00:49:06,652 * HEY, RIGHT OR WRONG 686 00:49:14,134 --> 00:49:17,674 * I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOU, BABY ** OH, DEUCE. 687 00:49:17,707 --> 00:49:20,580 YOU LOOK GREAT. THANKS. 688 00:49:20,613 --> 00:49:22,417 I WANT YOU TO MEET MY ROOMMATE. 689 00:49:22,450 --> 00:49:24,288 WHO'S THERE ? KATE ? 690 00:49:24,321 --> 00:49:27,694 - I HEAR SOMEONE. - IT'S JUST ME AND MY FRIEND. 691 00:49:27,727 --> 00:49:30,700 ARE YOU SURE ? I HEAR THREE PEOPLE. 692 00:49:30,733 --> 00:49:32,570 YOU'RE THE THIRD PERSON. 693 00:49:32,604 --> 00:49:34,608 OH. OH, OKAY. 694 00:49:34,641 --> 00:49:38,149 [ Whispering ] SHE'S NEWLY BLIND. SHE'S STILL GETTING ADJUSTED. 695 00:49:38,182 --> 00:49:41,588 BERGITA, THIS IS DEUCE. 696 00:49:41,622 --> 00:49:43,994 I THINK THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH CASSIE. 697 00:49:44,028 --> 00:49:46,465 OH, HONEY. 698 00:49:46,498 --> 00:49:48,336 THIS ISN'T CASSIE. 699 00:49:48,369 --> 00:49:50,340 HERE SHE IS. 700 00:49:50,373 --> 00:49:52,344 [ Meow ] 701 00:49:52,377 --> 00:49:54,614 OH, THERE YOU ARE. 702 00:49:54,648 --> 00:49:57,320 - IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU. - HI. 703 00:49:59,224 --> 00:50:03,732 ONCE YOU TRY IT FOR THE FIRST TIME, YOU'RE PRETTY HAPPY WITH THE RESULTS. 704 00:50:03,766 --> 00:50:06,705 I'VE NEVER MET A HAIR TRANSPLANT TECHNICIAN BEFORE. 705 00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:18,129 OH, MAN, I FORGOT. IT'S MY DAD'S BIRTHDAY. 706 00:50:18,162 --> 00:50:20,500 LET'S GO SEE HIM. HE'S WORKING. 707 00:50:20,533 --> 00:50:22,504 SO ? WHAT DOES HE DO ? 708 00:50:23,872 --> 00:50:27,680 HE'S IN THE RESTAURANT INDUSTRY. 709 00:50:29,851 --> 00:50:33,426 KATE, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY DAD, BOB BIGALOW. 710 00:50:33,459 --> 00:50:35,830 BOB, KATE. 711 00:50:35,863 --> 00:50:37,800 HI. 712 00:50:37,834 --> 00:50:39,804 SON, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU. 713 00:50:39,838 --> 00:50:42,810 SHE IS A LOVELY YOUNG LADY. 714 00:50:42,844 --> 00:50:45,416 [ Chuckles ] THANK YOU. 715 00:50:45,450 --> 00:50:48,422 IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 716 00:50:48,456 --> 00:50:51,128 THANK YOU. WELL, WE SHOULD PROBABLY BE GOING. 717 00:50:51,162 --> 00:50:53,466 DEUCE. 718 00:50:53,499 --> 00:50:56,438 DAD PROBABLY HAS A LOT OF PAPERWORK TO DO, AND-- 719 00:50:56,472 --> 00:50:59,211 NO, THE PAPER'S COMPLETELY STOCKED. 720 00:50:59,244 --> 00:51:03,786 I'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO GET ACQUAINTED WITH THE WOMAN WHO'S MADE MY BOY SO HAPPY. 721 00:51:03,819 --> 00:51:06,492 WE GOT YOU A CAKE. 722 00:51:06,525 --> 00:51:08,562 DEUCE SAID IT'S YOUR FAVORITE. 723 00:51:08,596 --> 00:51:12,537 WE HAD TO GO TO A FILIPINO BAKERY TO GET IT. YOU DIDN'T. 724 00:51:13,539 --> 00:51:15,510 YOU DID ! 725 00:51:15,543 --> 00:51:17,947 RASPBERRY BIBINGKA. 726 00:51:17,980 --> 00:51:19,684 AH, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE. 727 00:51:19,718 --> 00:51:22,457 MY WIFE, GOD REST HER SOUL, 728 00:51:22,490 --> 00:51:24,661 USE TO MAKE THIS ALL THE TIME. 729 00:51:24,694 --> 00:51:26,632 YOU WOULD'VE LIKED HER. 730 00:51:26,665 --> 00:51:28,669 BANGKOK BETTY. 731 00:51:30,240 --> 00:51:34,214 SHE HAD THE MOST AMAZING MOUTH. IT PAID FOR OUR HONEYMOON. 732 00:51:35,650 --> 00:51:37,320 WE SHOULD PROBABLY BE GOING. 733 00:51:37,354 --> 00:51:40,226 DEUCE, IT'S YOUR DAD'S BIRTHDAY. 734 00:51:42,897 --> 00:51:47,240 HI. BOB, WE HAVE AN OVERFLOWING TOILET IN THE LADIES' BATHROOM. 735 00:51:47,274 --> 00:51:50,246 THERE IS SHIT EVERYWHERE. IT'S A REAL MESS. 736 00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:54,254 - YOU THINK YOU COULD TAKE CARE OF THAT FOR ME ? - NO WORRIES, VIC. RIGHT ON IT. 737 00:51:54,288 --> 00:51:57,260 I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY SON'S GIRLFRIEND KATE. KATE, NICE TO MEET YOU. 738 00:51:57,294 --> 00:51:58,996 YOU, TOO. HI, DEUCE. 739 00:51:59,029 --> 00:52:01,335 SO COULD YOU GET IN THERE, BOB ? 740 00:52:01,368 --> 00:52:05,576 I GOT A PARTY OF TEN COMING IN, AND I AM UP TO MY ANKLES IN HUMAN CRAP. 741 00:52:05,610 --> 00:52:07,880 IT'S A REAL STINKFEST BACK THERE. 742 00:52:07,914 --> 00:52:09,884 SURE. 743 00:52:09,918 --> 00:52:12,624 LOOKS LIKE I'D BETTER GET BACK TO WORK. 744 00:52:12,657 --> 00:52:15,296 IT'S A PLEASURE MEETING YOU, DEAR. 745 00:52:15,330 --> 00:52:18,302 WARMS MY HEART JUST BEING IN YOUR PRESENCE. 746 00:52:18,336 --> 00:52:21,040 THANK YOU. 747 00:52:21,073 --> 00:52:23,010 SEE YOU, SON. 748 00:52:26,685 --> 00:52:30,660 SEE, MY DAD'S ONE OF THOSE GUYS, HE LIKES TO BE INVOLVED IN EVERY FACET OF THE BUSINESS. 749 00:52:30,693 --> 00:52:34,668 IT'S OKAY. NO PROBLEM TO SMALL OR BIG. THEY COME TO HIM FOR EVERYTHING. 750 00:52:34,701 --> 00:52:37,674 DEUCE, IT'S ALL RIGHT. 751 00:52:39,109 --> 00:52:42,584 IT'S NOT HIS RESTAURANT. 752 00:52:42,617 --> 00:52:45,656 MY DAD'S NOT EVEN A WAITER. 753 00:52:45,690 --> 00:52:49,062 HE'S THE MEN'S ROOM ATTENDANT. I'M SORRY. 754 00:52:49,096 --> 00:52:51,668 DON'T BE SILLY. 755 00:52:52,837 --> 00:52:55,141 YOU KNOW WHAT MY DAD DOES ? 756 00:52:55,175 --> 00:52:57,680 HE'S AN AERONAUTICAL ENGINEER. 757 00:53:03,526 --> 00:53:06,030 [ Water Sloshing ] 758 00:53:08,869 --> 00:53:10,840 BOB ? 759 00:53:14,448 --> 00:53:16,418 [ Chuckles ] 760 00:53:16,452 --> 00:53:19,156 WANNA BLOW OUT YOUR CANDLE ? 761 00:53:21,060 --> 00:53:23,632 [ Chuckles ] 762 00:53:29,544 --> 00:53:31,815 MMM, NOW THAT'S GOOD BIBINGKA. 763 00:53:40,131 --> 00:53:43,104 I HAD A REALLY NICE TIME TONIGHT. 764 00:53:43,137 --> 00:53:45,843 I FIND THAT HARD TO BELIEVE. 765 00:53:48,949 --> 00:53:51,822 I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE LIKE YOU. 766 00:53:51,855 --> 00:53:54,594 GOOD. 767 00:53:55,696 --> 00:53:57,700 I HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 768 00:54:00,004 --> 00:54:03,546 WHEN WE GO INSIDE, TRY TO BE QUIET SO WE DON'T WAKE UP BRIGITA. 769 00:54:06,317 --> 00:54:09,991 * WITH YOU I'M NOT SHY 770 00:54:10,024 --> 00:54:13,298 * TO SHOW THE WAY I FEEL 771 00:54:13,331 --> 00:54:16,271 * WITH YOU I MIGHT TRY 772 00:54:16,304 --> 00:54:19,678 * MY SECRETS TO REVEAL 773 00:54:19,711 --> 00:54:22,884 * FOR YOU ARE A MAGNET 774 00:54:22,917 --> 00:54:26,992 * AND I AM STEEL 775 00:54:27,025 --> 00:54:28,996 WHY DON'T I GET THE LIGHT ? 776 00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:33,606 HANG ON. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. BE RIGHT BACK. 777 00:54:36,878 --> 00:54:39,049 [ Meows ] 778 00:54:39,082 --> 00:54:41,287 * OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH 779 00:54:43,726 --> 00:54:45,228 YOU ARE GOOD. 780 00:54:55,816 --> 00:54:58,321 HI. HI. 781 00:55:00,926 --> 00:55:02,864 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? 782 00:55:02,897 --> 00:55:05,970 I NEED YOU TO BE OKAY WITH SOMETHING. 783 00:55:06,003 --> 00:55:08,642 WHAT ? I'M OKAY WITH EVERYTHING. 784 00:55:08,676 --> 00:55:10,813 DEUCE. 785 00:55:10,846 --> 00:55:13,652 THERE MAY BE THINGS ABOUT ME THAT YOU DON'T LIKE. 786 00:55:13,686 --> 00:55:16,424 I LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU. 787 00:55:16,457 --> 00:55:20,733 I MEAN, PHYSICALLY. 788 00:55:20,766 --> 00:55:24,139 SO YOU'RE TALLER THAN ME. BIG DEAL. I'LL GET OVER IT. 789 00:55:24,172 --> 00:55:26,845 IT'S NOT THAT. 790 00:55:26,878 --> 00:55:28,849 WHAT ? 791 00:55:28,882 --> 00:55:32,690 IF YOU WERE TO FIND OUT SOMETHING ABOUT ME... 792 00:55:32,724 --> 00:55:35,830 AND MY BODY THAT WAS MAYBE A LITTLE DIFFERENT... 793 00:55:35,863 --> 00:55:38,300 THAN WHAT YOU WERE USED TO, WOULD THAT BE OKAY ? 794 00:55:38,334 --> 00:55:42,443 THERE COULD BE NOTHING ON YOUR BODY THAT I WOULDN'T LIKE. 795 00:55:42,476 --> 00:55:44,748 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? 796 00:55:46,250 --> 00:55:50,459 WHAT DO YOU GOT, LIKE, SIX TOES OR SOMETHING ? I CAN LIVE WITH THAT. 797 00:55:50,492 --> 00:55:52,897 DEUCE, I HAVE TO TELL YOU, 798 00:55:52,930 --> 00:55:55,435 I HAVE A-- SHH. 799 00:56:19,818 --> 00:56:21,822 [ Giggles ] 800 00:56:27,466 --> 00:56:30,439 [ Gasps ] OH, MY GOD. I'M SORRY ! 801 00:56:30,472 --> 00:56:34,146 I TRIED TO TELL YOU. NO, IT'S MY FAULT. 802 00:56:34,179 --> 00:56:37,085 I SHOULDN'T HAVE PULLED IT SO HARD. 803 00:56:37,118 --> 00:56:39,156 IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. 804 00:56:39,189 --> 00:56:42,062 I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE. I'M SORRY I HAD THAT REACTION. 805 00:56:42,095 --> 00:56:44,567 I JUST-- I GOT A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON IN MY LIFE RECENTLY, 806 00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:46,838 AND THEY ALL SORT OF CULMINATED WHEN YOUR LEG FELL OFF-- 807 00:56:46,872 --> 00:56:48,942 CAME OFF-- DISCONNECTED-- 808 00:56:48,976 --> 00:56:51,581 - JUST GET OUT ! - OH, MY GOD ! 809 00:56:51,614 --> 00:56:53,418 PLEASE LEAVE. 810 00:56:56,056 --> 00:56:59,563 KATE ! I'M SORRY ! 811 00:56:59,597 --> 00:57:02,035 [ Sobbing ] JUST GO HOME. 812 00:57:02,068 --> 00:57:04,339 DON'T I HAVE A SAY IN THIS ? 813 00:57:04,372 --> 00:57:06,343 HAND ME MY LEG. 814 00:57:06,376 --> 00:57:09,583 THEN WILL YOU COME OUT AND TALK ? I DON'T KNOW. 815 00:57:14,259 --> 00:57:16,263 [ Click ] 816 00:57:17,699 --> 00:57:19,637 ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO STAY ? 817 00:57:19,670 --> 00:57:23,611 YES, BUT ONLY IF YOU COME OUT OF THERE. 818 00:57:24,948 --> 00:57:28,922 I NEED TO KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS. 819 00:57:28,956 --> 00:57:32,062 THE SAME AS I DID AN HOUR AGO, 820 00:57:32,095 --> 00:57:35,334 WHEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF, "I'M THE LUCKIEST GUY IN THE WORLD... 821 00:57:35,368 --> 00:57:38,040 TO BE WITH HER LEG-- WITH YOU." 822 00:57:44,452 --> 00:57:46,657 [ Squeaking ] 823 00:58:05,529 --> 00:58:08,434 OW-W-W ! 824 00:58:09,803 --> 00:58:12,408 IS THIS NORMAL ? MY FACE IS NUMB. 825 00:58:12,442 --> 00:58:15,481 IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL IN HAIR REPLACEMENT SURGERY. 826 00:58:15,515 --> 00:58:18,655 THE LOCAL ANESTHETIC HAS NUMBED THE MAJOR NERVES IN YOUR FACE, 827 00:58:18,688 --> 00:58:20,725 JUST LIKE AT THE DENTIST. 828 00:58:20,759 --> 00:58:24,366 [ Pounding ] OW-W-W-W ! 829 00:58:24,399 --> 00:58:29,042 YOU'RE KATE'S BEST FRIENDS, AND I KNOW YOUR OPINIONS MEAN A LOT TO HER. 830 00:58:29,076 --> 00:58:32,783 AND... I'D LIKE TO GET REALLY SERIOUS WITH HER. 831 00:58:32,816 --> 00:58:35,755 - YOU'RE A PROSTITUTE ! - NOT ANYMORE. 832 00:58:35,789 --> 00:58:37,759 AND IT'S "MAN-WHORE." 833 00:58:37,793 --> 00:58:41,701 ANYWAY, I JUST QUIT. I MEAN, KATE'S THE ONE FOR ME. 834 00:58:41,734 --> 00:58:44,072 LISTEN, YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO GO OUT WITH HER ONE NIGHT, 835 00:58:44,106 --> 00:58:46,310 SHOW HER A GOOD TIME, AND THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HER LIFE. 836 00:58:46,343 --> 00:58:49,349 - YOU KNOW SHE'S NOT NORMAL. - SHE'S NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS. 837 00:58:49,382 --> 00:58:52,422 YOU KNOW WHAT HER PROBLEM IS ? FRIENDS LIKE YOU. 838 00:58:52,455 --> 00:58:54,827 SHE'S PERFECT. SHE'S KIND, 839 00:58:54,860 --> 00:58:58,434 SHE'S SWEET, SHE'S FUNNY, AND SHE LIKES ME. 840 00:58:58,467 --> 00:59:00,572 NOW I CAME HERE TO GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK-- 841 00:59:00,605 --> 00:59:04,479 THE MONEY YOU PAID A STRANGER TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR FRIEND. 842 00:59:06,483 --> 00:59:10,191 HEY ! YOU STAY AWAY FROM HER, MAN-WHORE ! 843 00:59:10,224 --> 00:59:13,731 HIYA, DEUCE. YOUR THREE DAYS ARE UP, LOVER BOY. 844 00:59:13,765 --> 00:59:17,305 SO WHERE'S ANTOINE'S BLACK BOOK ? I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE. 845 00:59:17,338 --> 00:59:20,478 LISTEN, PUNK, YOU ARE AIDING AND ABETTING A KNOWN CRIMINAL. 846 00:59:20,511 --> 00:59:22,849 DO THE INITIALS T AND J MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU ? 847 00:59:22,883 --> 00:59:25,454 UH, TURKEY JIZZ ? I DON'T-- 848 00:59:25,488 --> 00:59:30,264 YOU BETTER SHOW SOME RESPECT, OR I'M GONNA RIP THAT PLEASURE- GIVING TONGUE OUT OF YOUR HEAD ! 849 00:59:30,298 --> 00:59:32,302 [ Zipper Unzips ] ONE MORE THING. 850 00:59:32,335 --> 00:59:35,241 I WAS AT THE PRECINCT, AND I REALLY HAD TO USE THE JOHN, 851 00:59:35,274 --> 00:59:37,412 AND IT'S PRETTY FILTHY IN THERE AND I WAS IN KIND OF A HURRY... 852 00:59:37,445 --> 00:59:40,451 AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO USE ONE OF THOSE, YOU KNOW, PAPER ASS GASKETS. 853 00:59:40,484 --> 00:59:44,359 I WAS DOIN' MY BUSINESS, AND SOMETHING SORT OF SPLASHED UP ON ME, ALL OVER. 854 00:59:44,392 --> 00:59:48,200 WHAT DO YOU DO IN SITUATIONS LIKE THAT. YOU THINK I'LL BE ALL RIGHT ? 855 00:59:48,234 --> 00:59:51,573 I THINK YOU'RE PRETTY SAFE. I BETTER BE ! 856 00:59:56,884 --> 00:59:59,990 ** [ Funk ] [ T.J. ] UGLY IS NOT A PROBLEM FOR THIS GUY. 857 01:00:00,023 --> 01:00:02,395 MY MAN WOULD STICK HIS DICK IN A HE-MONKEY. 858 01:00:02,428 --> 01:00:04,432 ALL RIGHT. I'LL CATCH YOU LATER. 859 01:00:06,270 --> 01:00:08,741 WHAT UP, DEUCEY ? 860 01:00:08,775 --> 01:00:11,413 [ Sighs ] YOU SHOULD KNOW, THAT COP WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. 861 01:00:11,446 --> 01:00:14,419 ** [ Off ] WHAT ABOUT THE COP ? 862 01:00:14,452 --> 01:00:17,592 HE'S BEEN ASKING QUESTIONS. GODDAMN WHITE BOY. 863 01:00:17,626 --> 01:00:20,331 ANYWAY, IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME ANYMORE. I'M QUITTING. 864 01:00:20,364 --> 01:00:22,435 WHAT ABOUT ANTOINE'S APARTMENT ? 865 01:00:22,468 --> 01:00:25,441 I'M GONNA GET THE REST OF THE MONEY THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY. 866 01:00:25,474 --> 01:00:27,478 YOU GONNA STEAL IT ? 867 01:00:29,482 --> 01:00:31,486 SEE YA, T.J. 868 01:00:39,068 --> 01:00:41,941 I JUST QUIT ! I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN ! 869 01:00:41,974 --> 01:00:46,383 YOU LIED TO ME ! LISTEN, PLEASE. IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK. 870 01:00:46,416 --> 01:00:48,988 YOU WERE PAID TO GO OUT WITH ME ! 871 01:00:52,094 --> 01:00:55,067 [ Sobbing ] 872 01:00:55,100 --> 01:00:57,405 - YOU WANT BREAKFAST ? - KATE ! 873 01:00:57,438 --> 01:01:02,081 PLEASE GO AWAY ! I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN ! 874 01:01:02,114 --> 01:01:05,621 ME NEITHER. 875 01:01:05,654 --> 01:01:07,658 I'M SORRY. 876 01:01:13,570 --> 01:01:15,574 [ Snarls ] 877 01:01:17,578 --> 01:01:20,985 * I FEEL SAD WHEN YOU'RE SAD * 878 01:01:21,019 --> 01:01:24,125 * I FEEL GLAD WHEN YOU'RE GLAD * 879 01:01:24,158 --> 01:01:28,667 * AND IF YOU ONLY KNEW WHAT I'M GOIN' THROUGH * 880 01:01:28,701 --> 01:01:31,139 * I JUST CAN'T SMILE 881 01:01:31,172 --> 01:01:33,677 * WITHOUT YOU 882 01:01:36,516 --> 01:01:38,721 [ Shattering ] 883 01:01:38,755 --> 01:01:42,495 * YOU CAME ALONG JUST LIKE A SONG * 884 01:01:42,528 --> 01:01:44,900 * AND BRIGHTENED MY DAY 885 01:01:44,933 --> 01:01:47,939 * WHO'D HAVE BELIEVED YOU WERE PART OF A DREAM * 886 01:01:47,973 --> 01:01:52,682 * AND NOW IT ALL SEEMS A LIGHT YEAR AWAY * 887 01:01:52,716 --> 01:01:58,159 * AND YOU KNOW I CAN'T SMILE WITHOUT YOU * 888 01:01:58,193 --> 01:02:01,533 * I CAN'T SMILE WITHOUT YOU * 889 01:02:01,566 --> 01:02:05,107 * I CAN'T LAUGH I CAN'T SING * 890 01:02:05,140 --> 01:02:08,680 * I'M FINDIN' IT HARD TO DO ANYTHING ** 891 01:02:10,785 --> 01:02:13,991 I'M 1,500 SHORT. ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO ? 892 01:02:14,025 --> 01:02:17,732 LISTEN, I CAME ALL OVER THE PLACE-- DOWN FROM SIX GRAND. 893 01:02:17,766 --> 01:02:20,237 THIS IS A CUSTOM HAND JOB. 894 01:02:20,270 --> 01:02:23,243 - LET ME PAY YOU MONTHLY. - THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T GET THE MONEY UP FRONT, 895 01:02:23,276 --> 01:02:25,815 I GOT THE BIG STIFFIE. [ Rings ] 896 01:02:28,286 --> 01:02:31,159 HELLO ? [ Antoine ] WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING PICKING UP MY PHONE ? 897 01:02:31,192 --> 01:02:35,869 I FOUND THE CORAL YOU WANTED. IF YOU ARE DOING ANYTHING I DISAPPROVE OF, I WILL KILL YOU ! 898 01:02:35,902 --> 01:02:39,877 HOLA, SENOR. NO Y TENGO. NO HABLA ENGLAIS. [ Antoine Chattering ] 899 01:02:39,910 --> 01:02:42,181 MURDER ! I WILL KILL YOU ! HASTA LUEGO. 900 01:02:43,750 --> 01:02:47,157 [ Rings, Beeps ] 901 01:02:47,191 --> 01:02:49,830 [ On Answering Machine ] HEY, ANTOINE. IT'S ELAINE. 902 01:02:49,863 --> 01:02:51,801 I REALLY NEED TO SEE YOU AGAIN. 903 01:02:51,834 --> 01:02:54,205 SAME PRICE, SAME PLACE ? 904 01:02:55,775 --> 01:02:58,647 I'LL HAVE THE MONEY. 905 01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:02,054 HI. UM, THIS ISN'T ANTOINE, 906 01:03:02,087 --> 01:03:04,291 BUT, UH, MAYBE WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT. 907 01:03:09,368 --> 01:03:11,807 HI. 908 01:03:25,969 --> 01:03:27,839 I'M DEUCE. 909 01:03:45,774 --> 01:03:48,313 STOP. WHY ? 910 01:03:48,346 --> 01:03:51,854 YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX. YES, I DO. 911 01:03:51,887 --> 01:03:54,058 I THINK WE BOTH DO. 912 01:03:57,364 --> 01:03:59,970 DON'T YOU FIND ME ATTRACTIVE ? 913 01:04:00,003 --> 01:04:04,045 ARE YOU KIDDING ? YOU'RE ONE OF THE HOTTEST WOMEN I'VE EVER SEEN. 914 01:04:04,078 --> 01:04:06,851 EASY, EASY. 915 01:04:06,884 --> 01:04:09,722 I JUST CAN'T DO THIS. 916 01:04:09,756 --> 01:04:11,894 I'M HEAD OVER HEELS FOR A GIRL, 917 01:04:11,927 --> 01:04:15,000 AND WE'RE GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME, ME BEING A MAN-WHORE AND ALL. 918 01:04:15,033 --> 01:04:17,939 BUT I KNOW IT'S GONNA WORK OUT, BECAUSE I LOVE HER. 919 01:04:19,842 --> 01:04:22,181 WELL, SHE'S A LUCKY GIRL. 920 01:04:23,249 --> 01:04:25,487 AT LEAST EMOTIONALLY. 921 01:04:25,520 --> 01:04:28,493 MY GUY USED TO BE LIKE THAT. 922 01:04:28,526 --> 01:04:32,903 HEY. HANG IN THERE. 923 01:04:35,107 --> 01:04:37,979 THINGS HAVE A WAY OF WORKING OUT. 924 01:04:42,889 --> 01:04:45,760 HEY. WHERE YOU GOIN' ? 925 01:04:47,564 --> 01:04:50,503 WELL, I THOUGHT WE TALKED AND YOU UNDERSTOOD. 926 01:04:50,537 --> 01:04:54,511 I UNDERSTAND. BUT THE FACT IS, I STILL PAID FOR YOUR SERVICES. 927 01:04:54,545 --> 01:04:57,451 WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND ? 928 01:04:59,255 --> 01:05:01,459 ** [ "Get Down Tonight" ] 929 01:05:07,637 --> 01:05:11,445 * BABY, LET'S GET TOGETHER 930 01:05:11,479 --> 01:05:14,518 * HONEY, HON ME AND YOU * 931 01:05:15,520 --> 01:05:17,926 * AND DO THE THINGS AH * 932 01:05:17,959 --> 01:05:20,330 * DO THE THINGS 933 01:05:20,363 --> 01:05:23,870 * THAT WE LIKE TO DO 934 01:05:23,904 --> 01:05:27,044 * OH, DO A LITTLE DANCE 935 01:05:27,077 --> 01:05:30,650 * MAKE A LITTLE LOVE GET DOWN TONIGHT * 936 01:05:30,683 --> 01:05:33,056 * GET DOWN TONIGHT 937 01:05:33,089 --> 01:05:35,627 * DO A LITTLE DANCE 938 01:05:35,660 --> 01:05:39,902 * MAKE A LITTLE LOVE GET DOWN TONIGHT * 939 01:05:39,936 --> 01:05:42,976 * GET DOWN TONIGHT, BABY GET DOWN, GET DOWN * 940 01:05:43,009 --> 01:05:45,180 * GET DOWN, GET DOWN 941 01:05:45,213 --> 01:05:47,251 * GET DOWN TONIGHT, BABY AAH ! 942 01:05:47,284 --> 01:05:50,257 * WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO, WOO * 943 01:05:50,290 --> 01:05:53,429 * GET DOWN, GET DOWN GET DOWN, GET DOWN * 944 01:05:53,463 --> 01:05:55,600 * GET DOWN TONIGHT, BABY * 945 01:06:13,069 --> 01:06:17,011 I'M JUST EXHAUSTED. OH, GOD, YOU WERE AMAZING. ARE YOU KIDDING ? 946 01:06:18,646 --> 01:06:21,219 [ Elevator Doors Shut ] 947 01:06:21,252 --> 01:06:24,091 I JUST HAD TO SEE FOR MYSELF. 948 01:06:28,499 --> 01:06:30,703 OOF ! OH ! 949 01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:34,478 [ Groaning ] KATE ! 950 01:06:34,511 --> 01:06:38,186 * I'M NOT IN LOVE 951 01:06:38,219 --> 01:06:40,723 * I'M NOT IN LOVE 952 01:06:52,147 --> 01:06:53,783 OHH ! 953 01:06:53,816 --> 01:06:56,689 WHAT ? HOW'S ELAINE ? 954 01:06:56,722 --> 01:06:59,428 YOU KNOW, YOUR WIFE. 955 01:07:01,099 --> 01:07:02,801 BASTARD ! 956 01:07:02,834 --> 01:07:04,771 THIS WASN'T ABOUT SOME BLACK BOOK. 957 01:07:04,805 --> 01:07:07,144 YOUR WIFE WAS A CUSTOMER OF ANTOINE'S, WASN'T SHE ? 958 01:07:07,177 --> 01:07:10,417 THAT SON OF A BITCH IS GOIN' DOWN. AND YOU'RE GONNA JOIN HIM ! 959 01:07:12,754 --> 01:07:15,127 HOW'S THAT GONNA FIX YOUR MARRIAGE ? 960 01:07:18,766 --> 01:07:21,739 LOOK, I LOST SOMEONE THAT I LOVE TOO. 961 01:07:24,311 --> 01:07:26,715 YOU KNOW WHY SHE DID THIS ? 962 01:07:26,749 --> 01:07:30,190 YOU WANNA KNOW WHY SHE WENT OUTSIDE OUR MARRIAGE ? 963 01:07:30,223 --> 01:07:32,294 IT'S BECAUSE OF MY DICK, MAN. 964 01:07:32,327 --> 01:07:35,400 I MEAN, THAT'S THE REASON. IT'S MY DICK. 965 01:07:35,433 --> 01:07:37,871 TAKE IT EASY. 966 01:07:37,904 --> 01:07:41,445 YOU'RE SAYING YOUR WIFE CHEATED ON YOU BECAUSE YOUR PENIS IS TOO SMALL ? 967 01:07:41,479 --> 01:07:46,322 IT'S NOT TOO SMALL. IT'S TOO THIN, OKAY ? MY DICK IS TOO THIN. 968 01:07:46,355 --> 01:07:50,397 I'VE GOT A THIN DICK ! CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN ? 969 01:07:50,430 --> 01:07:53,169 I'D LIKE TO COME BACK HERE SOMEDAY. EVERYBODY KNOWS... 970 01:07:53,203 --> 01:07:55,773 THAT IT'S WIDTH, WIDTH THAT GIVES SEXUAL GRATIFICATION. 971 01:07:55,807 --> 01:07:58,913 I'VE READ IT. COSMO, REDBOOK, YOU NAME IT. 972 01:07:58,946 --> 01:08:03,456 WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ? I'VE GOT THE THINNEST PENIS IN THE WORLD ! HERE. 973 01:08:03,489 --> 01:08:06,629 IT'S LIKE A TWIZZLER. LOOK ! NO, NO, STOP THAT. 974 01:08:06,662 --> 01:08:10,303 SIT DOWN ! SIT ! 975 01:08:10,337 --> 01:08:13,676 IT'S NOT YOUR DICK. IT'S YOU. 976 01:08:13,709 --> 01:08:15,813 I'M TELLING YOU NOW, IF YOU PAINTED IT SILVER... 977 01:08:15,847 --> 01:08:18,519 AND TWISTED IT ON THE END, IT'D LOOK LIKE A KICKSTAND. 978 01:08:19,688 --> 01:08:21,825 IF MAN-WHORING HAS TAUGHT ME ANYTHING, 979 01:08:21,859 --> 01:08:24,965 IT'S THAT MOST WOMEN ARE AS UNHAPPY WITH THEIR ENTIRE BODY... 980 01:08:24,998 --> 01:08:26,869 AS YOU ARE WITH YOUR SMALL PENIS. 981 01:08:26,902 --> 01:08:29,241 THIN PENIS. WHATEVER. 982 01:08:30,610 --> 01:08:33,249 WHILE YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOUR PENIS, THIN PENIS. 983 01:08:33,283 --> 01:08:35,987 WOMEN ARE WORRIED ABOUT THEIR HEIGHT, 984 01:08:36,020 --> 01:08:39,026 THEIR WEIGHT, THEIR GIANT FEET, 985 01:08:39,059 --> 01:08:41,732 THE STREAM OF OBSCENITIES THAT COULD BURST THROUGH THEIR MOUTH AT ANY SECOND. 986 01:08:41,765 --> 01:08:45,038 IF YOU MAKE A WOMAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF, 987 01:08:45,071 --> 01:08:47,711 IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU. 988 01:08:50,015 --> 01:08:52,521 EVEN IF IT'S REALLY, REALLY THIN ? 989 01:08:52,554 --> 01:08:54,758 WE'RE TALKIN' SPAGHETTI STICK. 990 01:08:57,062 --> 01:08:59,033 TELL YOU WHAT. 991 01:08:59,066 --> 01:09:03,376 EVERY TIME YOU'RE FEELING SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT YOUR THIN DICK, 992 01:09:03,409 --> 01:09:06,749 SAY SOMETHING NICE TO MAKE YOUR WOMAN FEEL SEXY. 993 01:09:08,051 --> 01:09:12,025 I MEAN, IS THAT IT ? I MEAN, IS THAT ALL THERE IS ? 994 01:09:13,696 --> 01:09:16,335 THERE IS ONE OTHER THING. 995 01:09:16,369 --> 01:09:20,643 * DO A LITTLE DANCE MAKE A LITTLE LOVE * 996 01:09:20,677 --> 01:09:22,781 * GET DOWN TONIGHT 997 01:09:22,814 --> 01:09:25,118 * GET DOWN TONIGHT 998 01:09:25,151 --> 01:09:29,361 * DO A LITTLE DANCE MAKE A LITTLE LOVE * 999 01:09:29,395 --> 01:09:32,834 * GET DOWN TONIGHT GET DOWN TONIGHT ** 1000 01:09:32,867 --> 01:09:35,373 UH, YES, SIR. 1001 01:09:35,407 --> 01:09:39,347 UM, YOU'RE SURE THERE ISN'T ANYTHING YOU CAN DO ? 1002 01:09:41,552 --> 01:09:43,523 YES, SIR. I UNDERSTAND. 1003 01:09:50,903 --> 01:09:55,178 LISTEN. I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU HELPING ME. 1004 01:09:55,212 --> 01:09:57,617 I GUESS I MISJUDGED YOU. 1005 01:09:58,753 --> 01:10:00,757 ANYWAY, I GOT YOU OFF THE HOOK. 1006 01:10:00,790 --> 01:10:03,161 WHY AM I STILL WORRIED ? 1007 01:10:03,194 --> 01:10:05,600 YOU GOT TO GIVE THEM T.J. 1008 01:10:05,633 --> 01:10:08,606 I CAN'T DO THAT ! YOU GOT NO CHOICE. 1009 01:10:08,639 --> 01:10:10,610 I'VE BEEN WORKIN' ON THIS CASE FOR THREE MONTHS. 1010 01:10:10,643 --> 01:10:14,217 BOSS SAYS SOMEBODY'S GOT TO BE ARRESTED. BUT T.J.'S MY FRIEND. 1011 01:10:14,250 --> 01:10:17,457 THEY'RE SERIOUS, DEUCE. 1012 01:10:17,491 --> 01:10:20,663 LOOK, I DON'T LIKE IT, BUT IT'S EITHER YOU OR HIM. 1013 01:10:24,103 --> 01:10:29,648 YOUR HONOR, SEX FOR MONEY IS MORALLY REPREHENSIBLE. 1014 01:10:29,681 --> 01:10:34,725 MR. BIGALOW HAS COMPOUNDED THIS CRIME BY REFUSING TO NAME HIS HE-PIMP. 1015 01:10:34,758 --> 01:10:38,097 THEREFORE, WE ASK FOR THE MAXIMUM TERM... 1016 01:10:38,131 --> 01:10:41,203 FOR EACH OF THE FIVE COUNTS OF PROSTITUTION. 1017 01:10:44,277 --> 01:10:49,186 [ Loud Thudding, Rumbling ] 1018 01:10:58,906 --> 01:11:02,581 [ Burps, Sighs ] 1019 01:11:03,583 --> 01:11:05,587 EXCUSE ME. 1020 01:11:19,615 --> 01:11:22,854 WE NEVER HAD SEX. 1021 01:11:22,887 --> 01:11:25,025 WE TALKED ABOUT IT. 1022 01:11:25,058 --> 01:11:27,330 WELL, I TALKED ABOUT IT. 1023 01:11:27,363 --> 01:11:32,072 BUT DEUCE NEVER TOOK ADVANTAGE OF ME. HE SHOULD HAVE. 1024 01:11:32,105 --> 01:11:34,109 BUT HE'S MY FRIEND. 1025 01:11:34,143 --> 01:11:39,888 HE MADE ME REALIZE THAT I WASN'T JUST SOME HOT BABE WITH HUGE TITS. 1026 01:11:39,921 --> 01:11:42,894 EVEN THOUGH I AM. 1027 01:11:42,927 --> 01:11:46,000 OH, AND HE ALSO GOT ME WALKIN' AGAIN. 1028 01:11:52,446 --> 01:11:55,118 DEUCE AND I NEVER HAD SEX. 1029 01:11:55,151 --> 01:11:57,924 IT WAS PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. [ Man #1 ] FREAK ! 1030 01:11:59,159 --> 01:12:01,431 IT'S TRUE I PAID HIM MONEY TO BE WITH HIM, 1031 01:12:01,464 --> 01:12:06,140 AND I'D DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE HE MADE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF. 1032 01:12:06,173 --> 01:12:08,779 BEHEMOTH. [ Coughs ] 1033 01:12:10,015 --> 01:12:13,321 AND NO ONE EVER TOUCHED MY FEET BEFORE. 1034 01:12:13,355 --> 01:12:16,293 [ Man #2 ] THAT'S A HUGE BITCH ! 1035 01:12:16,327 --> 01:12:20,436 DEUCE TAUGHT ME TO BE COMFORTABLE WITH WHO I AM. 1036 01:12:20,469 --> 01:12:22,406 THANK YOU, DEUCE. 1037 01:12:22,440 --> 01:12:24,878 Y-- ASSHOLE ! 1038 01:12:27,082 --> 01:12:30,188 THESE ARE VERY SERIOUS CHARGES, MR. BIGALOW. 1039 01:12:30,221 --> 01:12:32,493 I JUST HAVE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOU. 1040 01:12:32,526 --> 01:12:36,434 DURING YOUR ENTIRE STINT AS A HE-WHORE, DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH ANYONE ? 1041 01:12:38,906 --> 01:12:41,343 - YES, YOUR HONOR. - [ Spectators Gasp ] 1042 01:12:42,513 --> 01:12:45,753 JUST ONE WOMAN. 1043 01:12:45,787 --> 01:12:48,492 - AND I'M IN LOVE WITH HER. - [ All Gasping ] 1044 01:12:48,525 --> 01:12:50,361 ORDER ! [ Banging Gavel ] 1045 01:12:50,396 --> 01:12:52,400 ORDER, PLEASE. 1046 01:12:52,433 --> 01:12:52,901 THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, MR. BIGALOW. 1047 01:12:55,439 --> 01:12:58,044 DID SHE PAY YOU FOR SEX ? 1048 01:13:00,883 --> 01:13:03,422 NO. 1049 01:13:03,455 --> 01:13:05,258 CASE DISMISSED. 1050 01:13:05,291 --> 01:13:07,262 [ All Cheering ] 1051 01:13:07,295 --> 01:13:09,099 YES ! 1052 01:13:21,491 --> 01:13:24,464 THESE SHOTS WILL DEADEN THE NERVE AREA... 1053 01:13:24,497 --> 01:13:27,837 WHERE YOUR HAIR TRANSPLANTS WILL BE. 1054 01:13:29,373 --> 01:13:31,845 THERE. THAT SHOULD DO IT. 1055 01:13:31,879 --> 01:13:35,185 NURSE, WOULD YOU PLEASE REMOVE OUR DONOR HAIR. 1056 01:13:35,218 --> 01:13:37,222 I'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE. 1057 01:13:49,079 --> 01:13:52,486 MR. JOHNSON, PLEASE JUST LIE BACK DOWN NOW. 1058 01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:55,158 OH, MY GOD. DEUCE ! 1059 01:13:55,191 --> 01:13:57,195 KATE, LISTEN TO ME. 1060 01:13:57,229 --> 01:13:59,233 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? 1061 01:13:59,266 --> 01:14:02,239 IT'S THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET YOU TO SEE ME. 1062 01:14:02,272 --> 01:14:05,378 DEUCE, IT'S OVER BETWEEN US. 1063 01:14:05,411 --> 01:14:08,184 [ Grunting ] 1064 01:14:08,217 --> 01:14:09,988 LISTEN, 1065 01:14:10,021 --> 01:14:12,259 THOSE SHOTS HURT LIKE HELL. 1066 01:14:12,292 --> 01:14:14,263 COULD YOU AT LEAST HEAR ME OUT ? 1067 01:14:14,296 --> 01:14:18,204 WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CHARGE BY THE HOUR, BUT YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE. 1068 01:14:18,237 --> 01:14:21,210 OKAY. I DESERVED THAT. 1069 01:14:23,615 --> 01:14:26,588 I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU RIGHT FROM THE START, 1070 01:14:26,621 --> 01:14:28,658 BUT I WAS AFRAID. 1071 01:14:29,627 --> 01:14:31,297 AFRAID OF WHAT ? 1072 01:14:31,330 --> 01:14:34,604 AFRAID THAT A GIRL AS WONDERFUL AS YOU... 1073 01:14:34,637 --> 01:14:39,313 COULD NEVER FALL FOR A GUY WHO CLEANS FISH TANKS. 1074 01:14:39,346 --> 01:14:41,718 'CAUSE THAT'S WHO I REALLY AM. 1075 01:14:41,751 --> 01:14:45,158 THIS WHOLE GIGOLO THING WAS JUST A MISTAKE. 1076 01:14:45,191 --> 01:14:48,231 BUT I'M GLAD IT HAPPENED... 1077 01:14:48,264 --> 01:14:52,072 'CAUSE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET YOU. 1078 01:14:52,105 --> 01:14:55,111 I NEVER WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHAT LOVE WAS. 1079 01:14:56,113 --> 01:14:59,754 I'M SORRY. I'M NOT PERFECT. 1080 01:15:02,492 --> 01:15:06,067 [ Sighs ] I'M NOT PERFECT EITHER. 1081 01:15:07,402 --> 01:15:09,807 YES, YOU ARE. 1082 01:15:09,840 --> 01:15:12,813 YOU'RE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY. 1083 01:15:12,846 --> 01:15:15,752 I KNEW IT THE MOMENT I MET YOU. 1084 01:15:21,430 --> 01:15:24,369 KATE. 1085 01:15:24,403 --> 01:15:28,077 "YOU HAVE A SMILE THAT COULD MELT AN ICEBERG. 1086 01:15:28,111 --> 01:15:33,187 "YOUR LIPS ARE AS SWEET AS HONEY. 1087 01:15:33,221 --> 01:15:36,193 "YOU MAY ONLY HAVE ONE LEG, 1088 01:15:36,227 --> 01:15:41,137 BUT IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL LEG IN THE WORLD." 1089 01:15:46,147 --> 01:15:49,554 ARE YOU KISSING ME ? 'CAUSE I CAN'T FEEL A THING. 1090 01:15:49,587 --> 01:15:51,624 [ Laughing ] 1091 01:15:51,658 --> 01:15:54,229 [ Woman On P.A. ] NOW BOARDING AT GATE 53. 1092 01:15:54,263 --> 01:15:57,235 FLIGHT 14 TO SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA IS NOW BOARDING-- 1093 01:15:57,269 --> 01:15:59,640 I'VE NEVER DONE THIS IN 12 HOURS BEFORE. 1094 01:15:59,674 --> 01:16:02,245 I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE IF THE SEALS LEAK. 1095 01:16:03,782 --> 01:16:07,322 SHIT ! S-SHIT CABINET ! 1096 01:16:07,355 --> 01:16:09,293 [ Snoring ] 1097 01:16:15,806 --> 01:16:18,778 COME ON, PUT THE FISH IN THE TANK ALREADY. 1098 01:16:18,812 --> 01:16:21,784 ANTOINE'S PLANE LANDED 20 MINUTES AGO. 1099 01:16:21,818 --> 01:16:24,824 I THINK WE'RE GONNA BE OKAY. 1100 01:16:25,992 --> 01:16:28,564 COULD YOU STEP THIS WAY, PLEASE ? 1101 01:16:30,969 --> 01:16:34,376 IS IT TIME TO PUT THE BIG GUY IN YET ? 1102 01:16:34,409 --> 01:16:37,382 [ Sighs ] GIVE HIM ANOTHER MINUTE. TEMPERATURE'S NOT RIGHT. 1103 01:16:46,267 --> 01:16:49,239 SPREAD THEM AGAIN, PLEASE. 1104 01:16:52,011 --> 01:16:54,650 [ Deuce ] OKAY, WE CAN PUT THE LAST FISH IN. 1105 01:16:54,684 --> 01:16:56,688 LOOKS LIKE YOU PULLED IT OFF, KID. 1106 01:16:56,721 --> 01:16:58,591 [ Bergita ] TIME FOR SOME TEQUILA ! 1107 01:16:58,625 --> 01:17:01,597 [ Blender Whirring ] 1108 01:17:01,631 --> 01:17:04,002 [ Whirring Stops ] 1109 01:17:04,035 --> 01:17:06,908 MARGARITAS, ANYBODY ? 1110 01:17:27,349 --> 01:17:32,359 [ Panting ] I NEED... CHINESE... TAILBAR... LIONFISH. 1111 01:17:34,596 --> 01:17:36,801 700, 800. WHERE'D YOU GET ALL THAT MONEY ? 1112 01:17:36,834 --> 01:17:39,840 - FRIENDS. - YEAH, RIGHT. 1113 01:17:39,874 --> 01:17:42,579 ANYTHING ELSE ? 1114 01:17:42,612 --> 01:17:46,721 ON SECOND THOUGHT, YOU'D BETTER GIVE ME SOME OF THOSE SEA SNAILS. 1115 01:18:15,445 --> 01:18:17,449 SO, UH, HOW WAS YOUR TRIP ? 1116 01:18:18,551 --> 01:18:20,588 VERY GOOD... 1117 01:18:20,621 --> 01:18:22,659 TILL ABOUT THREE HOURS AGO. 1118 01:18:22,692 --> 01:18:25,030 YEAH ? WHAT HAPPENED ? 1119 01:18:25,064 --> 01:18:27,401 I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT. 1120 01:18:30,641 --> 01:18:32,645 THE PLACE LOOKS GOOD. 1121 01:18:33,647 --> 01:18:35,618 GOOD TO BE HOME. 1122 01:18:35,651 --> 01:18:38,758 I SHOULD TAKE OFF SO YOU CAN RELAX. 1123 01:18:38,792 --> 01:18:41,129 IS THERE SOMETHING YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ? 1124 01:18:42,599 --> 01:18:44,469 YEAH. 1125 01:18:44,503 --> 01:18:48,577 I PUT YOUR MAIL ON THE NIGHTSTAND. [ Clears Throat ] 1126 01:18:51,617 --> 01:18:53,621 RIGHT. 1127 01:18:57,629 --> 01:18:59,599 WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ? 1128 01:18:59,633 --> 01:19:02,004 A CHOCOLATE MARGARITA. 1129 01:19:02,038 --> 01:19:03,775 YOU'VE BEEN HAVING A PARTY ? 1130 01:19:03,808 --> 01:19:07,615 IT WAS, UH, MORE LIKE, UH, A WELCOME-HOME THING, REALLY. 1131 01:19:09,854 --> 01:19:12,491 I COULD REALLY USE ONE RIGHT NOW. 1132 01:19:16,032 --> 01:19:17,803 [ Slurping ] 1133 01:19:22,311 --> 01:19:24,583 SPICY. 1134 01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:29,125 I SHOULD PROBABLY GO. MY FISH. 1135 01:19:31,196 --> 01:19:33,033 THEY LOOK SMALLER. 1136 01:19:35,771 --> 01:19:39,646 SOMETIMES WHEN THEY'RE, UH, SICK, 1137 01:19:39,679 --> 01:19:41,784 THEY'LL SHRINK. 1138 01:19:43,386 --> 01:19:45,357 HEY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 1139 01:19:45,390 --> 01:19:48,832 HEY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 1140 01:19:48,865 --> 01:19:51,169 [ Tapping On Glass ] HEY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY, FISHY. 1141 01:19:54,375 --> 01:19:56,814 [ Glass Cracking ] 1142 01:20:11,844 --> 01:20:15,819 I DID MAN-WHORE FOR A LITTLE BIT, BUT NONE OF YOUR CLIENTS. 1143 01:20:15,852 --> 01:20:17,789 NONE OF THEM. 1144 01:20:17,823 --> 01:20:20,829 I KNOW AN AQUARIUM GUY WHO CAN FIX ALL OF THIS. 1145 01:20:20,862 --> 01:20:23,166 - HE'S A LITTLE EXPENSIVE-- - HAH ! 1146 01:20:23,200 --> 01:20:25,270 DEUCE ! 1147 01:20:27,174 --> 01:20:29,378 [ Yelling, Grunting ] 1148 01:20:30,815 --> 01:20:32,886 NO ! 1149 01:20:37,061 --> 01:20:38,898 [ Grunts ] 1150 01:20:56,833 --> 01:20:59,338 - DEUCE ! - NO ! 1151 01:21:00,942 --> 01:21:02,711 [ Gasps ] 1152 01:21:06,486 --> 01:21:08,356 [ Gasping ] 1153 01:21:08,390 --> 01:21:10,394 [ Extracts Arrow ] [ Groans ] 1154 01:21:11,396 --> 01:21:13,767 OHH. 1155 01:21:13,801 --> 01:21:15,805 [ Sighs ] 1156 01:21:22,953 --> 01:21:24,789 HEY ! TOUGH GUY. 1157 01:21:24,823 --> 01:21:27,561 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS ? 1158 01:21:27,594 --> 01:21:29,934 YOU'RE BUSTED. 1159 01:21:31,002 --> 01:21:32,973 WHAT'S GOIN' ON OUT HERE ? 1160 01:21:34,075 --> 01:21:36,446 I CAN SEE ! 1161 01:21:38,952 --> 01:21:40,554 YOU'RE BLACK. 1162 01:21:40,587 --> 01:21:42,424 I KNEW IT. [ Giggles ] 1163 01:21:44,162 --> 01:21:53,580 ** 1164 01:21:53,613 --> 01:21:56,954 * LOVE 1165 01:21:56,988 --> 01:22:00,327 * IS WHAT I WANT 1166 01:22:00,360 --> 01:22:02,598 * WHOA, YEAH 1167 01:22:04,535 --> 01:22:09,145 * AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS BRING IT TO ME, BABY * 1168 01:22:13,186 --> 01:22:16,526 * TALK 1169 01:22:16,559 --> 01:22:18,897 * IS WHAT I WANT 1170 01:22:18,931 --> 01:22:21,402 * WHAT I WANT * WHOA, YEAH 1171 01:22:21,436 --> 01:22:24,008 * WHAT I WANT 1172 01:22:24,042 --> 01:22:28,583 * AND ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS BRING IT TO ME, BABY * 1173 01:22:32,591 --> 01:22:35,264 * TALK * COME ON LET'S TALK ABOUT IT * 1174 01:22:35,297 --> 01:22:37,668 * TALK * CAN'T SEEM TO DO WITHOUT IT * 1175 01:22:37,701 --> 01:22:39,238 * TALK * DON'T WANNA BE 1176 01:22:39,272 --> 01:22:45,017 * ONE OF THE BROKENHEARTED 1177 01:22:45,050 --> 01:22:49,959 * SO LIFT ME UP FINISH WHAT YOU STARTED * 1178 01:22:49,994 --> 01:22:54,969 * TAKE ME OFF FOR A RIDE 1179 01:22:55,004 --> 01:22:59,612 * LIFT ME UP FROM THE BROKENHEARTED * 1180 01:22:59,645 --> 01:23:04,722 * RIVERS DEEP AND WIDE 1181 01:23:04,755 --> 01:23:07,028 * LIFT ME UP 1182 01:23:09,365 --> 01:23:14,275 * TAKE ME OFF FOR A RIDE 1183 01:23:14,308 --> 01:23:19,118 * LIFT ME UP FROM THE BROKENHEARTED * 1184 01:23:19,152 --> 01:23:25,197 * RIVERS DEEP AND WIDE * 1185 01:23:25,230 --> 01:23:28,203 * COLOR ME YOUR COLOR, BABY * 1186 01:23:28,236 --> 01:23:31,809 * COLOR ME YOUR CAR 1187 01:23:31,842 --> 01:23:35,050 * COLOR ME YOUR COLOR, DARLING * 1188 01:23:35,084 --> 01:23:38,390 * I KNOW WHO YOU ARE 1189 01:23:38,423 --> 01:23:41,696 * COME UP OFF YOUR COLOR CHART * 1190 01:23:41,729 --> 01:23:44,568 * I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM * 1191 01:23:44,602 --> 01:23:47,541 * CALL ME FOR A RIDE 1192 01:23:47,574 --> 01:23:51,416 * CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANY TIME * 1193 01:23:51,449 --> 01:23:54,422 * CALL ME, MY LOVE 1194 01:23:54,455 --> 01:23:58,263 * YOU CAN CALL ME ANY DAY OR NIGHT * 1195 01:23:58,296 --> 01:24:00,300 * CALL ME 1196 01:24:05,310 --> 01:24:08,583 * COVER ME WITH KISSES BABY * 1197 01:24:08,616 --> 01:24:12,191 * COVER ME WITH LOVE 1198 01:24:12,224 --> 01:24:14,862 * ROLL ME IN DESIGNER SHEETS * 1199 01:24:14,895 --> 01:24:18,736 * I'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH 1200 01:24:18,770 --> 01:24:22,278 * EMOTIONS COME I DON'T KNOW WHY * 1201 01:24:22,311 --> 01:24:26,619 * COVER UP LOVE'S ALIBI 1202 01:24:26,652 --> 01:24:29,758 * CALL ME FOR A RIDE 1203 01:24:29,792 --> 01:24:33,566 * CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANY TIME * 1204 01:24:33,600 --> 01:24:36,472 * CALL ME, MY LOVE 1205 01:24:36,506 --> 01:24:40,347 * WHEN YOU'RE READY WE CAN SHARE THE WINE * 1206 01:24:40,380 --> 01:24:42,218 * CALL ME 1207 01:24:47,394 --> 01:24:49,365 * OOH-OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH 1208 01:24:49,398 --> 01:24:54,275 * HE SPEAKS THE LANGUAGES OF LOVE * 1209 01:24:54,308 --> 01:24:59,218 * OOH-OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH AMORE, CHIAMAMI * 1210 01:24:59,252 --> 01:25:00,820 * CHIAMAMI 1211 01:25:00,854 --> 01:25:02,958 * OOH-OOH-OOH, OOH-OOH 1212 01:25:02,991 --> 01:25:06,966 * APPELLE-MOI, MON CHERIE APPELLE-MOI * 1213 01:25:06,999 --> 01:25:08,970 * ANYTIME, ANYPLACE 1214 01:25:09,003 --> 01:25:12,978 * ANYWHERE, ANYWAY 1215 01:25:13,011 --> 01:25:16,486 * ANYTIME, ANYPLACE ANYWHERE, ANY DAY * 1216 01:25:16,519 --> 01:25:20,427 * ANY WAY 1217 01:25:20,460 --> 01:25:34,455 ** 1218 01:25:34,488 --> 01:25:44,542 ** 1219 01:25:44,575 --> 01:25:49,485 ** 1220 01:25:49,518 --> 01:25:52,491 ** 1221 01:25:52,524 --> 01:25:55,664 * CALL ME, MY LOVE 1222 01:25:55,697 --> 01:25:59,505 * CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANY TIME * 1223 01:25:59,538 --> 01:26:02,511 * CALL ME FOR A RIDE 1224 01:26:02,544 --> 01:26:06,084 * CALL ME, CALL ME FOR SOME OVERTIME * 1225 01:26:06,117 --> 01:26:09,056 * CALL ME, MY LOVE 1226 01:26:09,090 --> 01:26:12,964 * CALL ME, CALL ME IN A SWEET DESIGN * 1227 01:26:12,998 --> 01:26:15,970 * CALL ME, OHHH-OHH 1228 01:26:16,004 --> 01:26:19,778 * CALL ME, CALL ME CALL ME ANYTIME * 1229 01:26:19,812 --> 01:26:22,718 * CALL ME, CALL ME 1230 01:26:22,751 --> 01:26:26,559 * FOR YOUR LOVER'S LOVER'S ALIBI * 1231 01:26:26,592 --> 01:26:29,465 * CALL ME ON THE LINE 1232 01:26:29,498 --> 01:26:33,138 * CALL ME, CALL ME ANY, ANY TIME * 1233 01:26:33,171 --> 01:26:36,579 * CALL ME, CALL ME 1234 01:26:36,612 --> 01:26:40,487 * JUST CALL ME, CALL ME CALL ME, CALL ME, CALL ME * 1235 01:26:40,520 --> 01:26:43,760 * CALL ME, CALL ME CALL ME, CALL ME, CALL ME * 1236 01:26:43,793 --> 01:26:47,166 * CALL ME, CALL ME CALL ME, CALL ME, CALL ME ** 85718

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