Original subtitles

If you asked me a year ago when I was in the psych ward...

you'd be going to Boston to do your half-hour special...

I'd say, "You're joking."

But it's here and I'm actually ready for it.

Okay, so we're in the room, it's a California queen.

I found these jeans on the shopping trip at Moist Men.

I don't think they're appropriate for my stand-up special necessarily.

I saved the receipt. I'm not gonna wear them.

I wore these jeans...

when I did Conan.

Shoes.

These are my wardrobe options. This is it.

I did Conan, and that was big.

I've done the Hangover, that was big.

This is my own half-hour special on Comedy Central.

Whoo! Feels good.

Ready? One, two and three.

Yes!

Enjoy it!

Hi, everybody, I'm Steven Brody Stevens...

and I'm looking for the famed Freedom Trail here in Boston.

Come on.

Where's the Freedom Trail? Are we on--

Hey, how you doing?

Thought I knew that guy.

Where's the Freedom Trail?

Where are we walking to?

Which way is the Freedom Trail?

It's over there?

They say Boston people are curmudgeonry.

How will they help me find the Freedom Trail?

I'm in search of the Freedom Trail. Where is it?

I'm looking for the Freedom Trail.

We're from Florida.

You're from Florida?

Did you see the Hangover? Yeah.

I was in it. Who's-- Which part?

I play a cop in the movie.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Tell me what part. Let's see if she knows.

Let's see if she knows! I think I do.

The little kids that were in the field trip.

Yeah, yes, yes, yes. Keep going.

Hold on, you were walking them in.

Yes! And would you like me to do my line?

Three, two, one, action.

So after we take their mug shots, we'll bring them on down here...

where they wait to be questioned by the arresting officers.

Trust me, kids, you don't want to be sitting on these benches.

We call this place Loserville.

I love it!

Could somebody help me, I'm a stranger with a camera.

Which direction do I go?

So where is the-- where is the--

Go straight up.

Take the path that goes straight up.

Up that way.

I'm running around Boston Common right now.

I think I'm in the wrong place.

Where can I find the famed Freedom Trail?

Right up the street, right over there.

Thank you very much, I'm Steven Brody Stevens, reporting live from Boston Common.

And I'm on my way to the Freedom Trail.

Yes! Push.

No, for real, where's the Freedom Trail?

The Freedom Trail, I'm getting closer.

Yes! I've made it. You got it! Freedom Trail.

The Bostonians of Boston led me here.

The kids in the park, I went from the Commons to freedom.

What's that?

We can't film here? I say yes, but--

You gotta go?

Okay. Freedom Trail, right here. You got it.

Going back for rehearsal right now.

Gonna check in, wardrobe, find my resting place at The Royale.

This is a big night for me.

Let's hear how that one sounds.

Crank that music.

That's funny music. Even louder. Come on! Come on!

Whoo!

Steven Brody Stevens!

I think they told me that's a public song. It's corny.

Hi, there, I'm Steven Brody Stevens...

and you're watching my half-hour special on Comedy Central...

with limited commercial interruption.

Yes! You got it! DVR that!

Feeling a little under the weather today, so I'm sounding this way.

We're in Boston, we're shooting interviews.

I'm gonna shave later.

I have make-up on right now.

My voice is a little scratchy, so I'll be like in the moment.

Hey, come on in.

Yes! Push and Believe!

You got it!

Hey. Hey, Baron.

How you doing, man? Great to see you, buddy.

Good to see you.

Tell me a little about-- you're excited, you're doing your special here.

I'm so excited, man-- (BLENDER WHIRRING )

( BLENDER WHIRRING ) Yeah.

When you have like depression issues.

Exactly. I mean, I have--

( BLENDER WHIRRING )

DAVE RATH (O.S.): This is Charlie Rose, basically.

This is Charlie Rose? Have I done that interview? Yes, I have.

CAMERA (O.S.): At least a commercial...

Brody and Griffin, L.A. united.

Yes! Push and believe.

Push and believe?

That's what you'd say like in a delivery room to your wife.

Or-- Until a black baby comes out.

You got it. Push and confusion.

Gabe Liedman. Gabe Liedman, yes!

Yes. You got it.

Look at you with you're posing.

Then if you reach forward, touch the ground.

Feel that? Yeah!

Push. Believe. You got it.

SEAN O'CONNOR (O.S.): Cut! We got it, great!

I've done schools where I'm literally the first Mexican...

that the students have ever seen in their life.

And they'll ask the most racist [BLEEP].

Like, "Do you like Taco Bell?"

What are we doing here?

I've been to the big island.

I've been to Maui, I've been to Honolulu...

and I'm here in Boston ready to watch you crush it.

Jonah Ray, he's got an album, he's got a podcast and he's got a pilot.

SEAN O'CONNOR (O.S.): And cut!

I've been doing a lot of interviews...

and I'm kind of just on, just reflex mode at this point...

and I knew you didn't want to go right into that.

I don't like talking about my Irish heritage.

It doesn't stop.

This is like overworked.

BRODY (O.S.): We're here with Little Reel. Yes!

Let me say, let me correct you, it's Lil Rel.

My bad, let's correct. It's okay.

Rel.

Rel. I'm on game, forgive me.

Very much so. I don't have my notes.

My writers dropped the ball. Where are my notes?

You're embarrassing me!

It says here, you were on BET Comic View.

Why did you have to start with BET and none of this other [BLEEP].

Who wrote BET there?

I have to iron my shirt if you don't mind.

You're into...oral, anal action?

Yeah.

Can you expound on that a little bit?

People don't realize the butt hole is where all the nerves are.

Yeah, male and female.

Brody Stevens, Sean Patton, iron shirts.

Positivity. Yes! Push and believe. You got it.

Anal energies.

SEAN O'CONNOR (O.S.): Cut! Cut! And cut!

We did it. We did it.

Carisa. Hi, Carisa.

Hi, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

You can call me Steven.

Steven? Okay, awesome. Yeah.

You're from Australia. I am.

I can tell. Let's do a speed round.

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

How am I gonna do on my half-hour Comedy Central special?

30 minutes of comedy.

Okay.

It's my big opportunity. Okay.

I'm normally doing five-minute sets.

I can feel you vibrating from here on that.

You have very good cards on this.

Yes!

Kind of like power and energy coming in around--

Power? Yeah.

I'm getting power?

It's personal power really. Yeah.

Being in a position of being, I guess, self-in-charge, if that's a term that's usable.

It's usable.

You have basically got rewards for work well done.

Nine years of warm-up...

13 years since my last time on Comedy Central. Okay, so there's like--

Yeah. So you're right on.

The cards around are very good.

How many chicks will I make out with this year?

I don't know if I'm gonna have any--

You can say, "Brody, you look good. You smell good. Your skin's good."

Okay, let me see what I get with this.

You're getting a lot of sixes and sevens.

The girls are sixes or sevens?

Or six-- I'm getting six different girls?

I'm gonna go with anywhere between six and 19.

You're telling me, there's a chance that I may make out--

It's-- it's unlimited. Really?

The world is yours.

I'm in Fenway Park.

I sought out permission to get inside this stadium.

They said, "Brody, we know you. Please, yes.

"We insist that you sit in our bullpen.

"It's the visitor's bullpen, but sit in it."

You know, I didn't make it as far as I wanted to in baseball...

but I'm doing it in comedy...

and I'm doing my half-hour special in Boston.

Tonight could be the biggest night of my life.

And for me to be right here where championships and moments have taken place.

I feel like Boston deserves to see a championship...

as I celebrate my comedic championship.

And I'm gonna take the energy from this bullpen to The Royale.

I'm feeling pumped up, put me in the game.

I am ready to take the stage tonight.

James Earl Jones?

Yes. You got it.

Positive energy.

Do you see that?

Hash tag, Push and believe.

I mean, I took my Lamictal last night.

Does Fenway have a pharmacy? I need to double check on it.

I mean, I'm okay.

You're gonna do great, Steven. You're gonna do great.

That looks perfect.

TOM (O.S.): And he recently got a half-hour Comedy Central special.

Great.

If I was directing it, I would have Brody come out...

and go, "Brody, what bothers you about the way things look right now?"

And then have him redo the stage...

and explain why he's redoing what he's redoing.

Hello, Boston.

Yes! My beard is perfect for you.

There's nobody like him.

He's-- I hope...

Tom, how do you think I'll do tonight?

TOM (O.S.): I think you'll do incredible.

Look at Jeffrey Tambor. I could be the next Jeffrey Tambor.

You never know what he's gonna do...

and he's very interactive with the crowd.

He just does things that I've never seen any other stand-up do.

I'm known as a pope of comedy.

Not for my jokes, but because I don't have sex.

Someone who's more of a traditional comedian...

is just gonna go up there and do a set...

tell their jokes, please the audience.

Brody's show is always different and I really respect that.

The fact that he's in the moment.

A lot of people are gonna say he's cutting edge...

he's just pushing new ground.

He is, but he's also, you know, refreshingly old school...

and he's really into performance.

Boston references, openings, hello, model in Pakistan, retiring these jokes.

Very hairy, return to Comedy Central... 13 years.

[BLEEP]

Let's go do it. Yes! You got it. Show on.

Positive. Let's do it. Let's have some fun.

Brody, can I do a Vine of you prepping?

You got it. One, two, three.

Yes! Stretching the calves.

I messed it up, I'm sorry. Ready? One, two, three.

Stretching in preparation.

My phone's [BLEEP] up. It keeps going.

One, two, three.

Whoo!

I'm getting 30 minutes of TV time that I haven't gotten before.

When I've been on TV, it's always been five minutes here, six minutes there.

Two minutes here, one minute there.

This is 30 minutes, so it's a big deal to me.

TOM (O.S.): So take your time, but whenever you're ready.

Okay, thanks, Tom, I'll be ready in a bit.

TOM (O.S.): You got it. Ten minutes tops.

Maybe nine. Somebody's gotta make the Lamictal run.

I see the set in my head, the beginning, the middle, the end.

That kind of thing and--

You believe in yourself. You go, "Why not me? It is my turn."

This is gonna solidify my stance in the comedy world...

if I nail it.

TOM (O.S.): Two minutes.

Do the best. Push, believe, yes.

Have fun, just have fun.

ANNOUNCER (V.O.): Ladies and gentlemen, Brody Stevens!

( CROWD CHEERING )

Brody (O.S.): Boston, Massachusetts!

Push, believe, bring it down!

I'm gonna start my show, right about now! Yes!

Boston, Massachusetts!

What a great town. Harvard, the Celtics, Ben Affleck and Argo.

Give it up for Argo!

Positive energy. You got it. Yes! Whoo!

Very hairy.

Growing up, most kids in my neighborhood had Flintstone vitamins.

Somehow I had Rogaine chewables.

BRODY (O.S.): Yes! I'm retiring that joke. You got it.

Tonight, I retire these jokes!

I've never seen or heard my parents have sex.

I've smelled it.

Yes! That's a reaction bit.

The people with their arms crossed, I felt it and I had to go to that.

I'm intense, twice I charged the mound in T-ball.

I went right after that parent's fanny pack...

and why do they call it a fanny pack if it hangs over your genitals?

It should be called the Sack Pack.

That's a simple joke. You got it, go ahead and applaud that one.

Look, I want to break some news to you.

Was I in The Hangover?

Yes, I was...

but nobody recognizes me.

Hangover 1, in it. Hango-- But nobody recognizes me.

In it, Hangover 2, in it. Funny People, cut out of it...

upsetting to me.

But, you know, I don't get recognized.

And I'll hang out at a Redbox in front of 7-11...

doing my lines.

Who is this guy with the perfect beard?

Who is this guy with the extreme temple lines?

Who is this guy--

Arms crossed, negative. Arms crossed, negative.

Hands in your crotch, negative.

Negative, negative, negative, negative, negative!

I'm positive energy. You got it!

Good things are happening to me.

My voice is going. I'm gonna chill, I'm gonna chill.

We can cut this.

My voice is going out. Stay with me!

On the last line, help me out!

Stay with me! Finish strong!

I'm different. I snuck pot into Canada.

That's right, I put a one hitter in my urethra.

Smell me, dog.

Already in, booked it.

Yes! On that note, let's bring in the drums!

Yes! Believe!

Push! Believe!

Push!

Positive energy!

Boston!

Are we allowed to curse? Sure.

Yeah, why not, okay, yeah. It was [BLEEP] awesome!

It was just this positive energy, thing, man, come on, dude, push. Positive energy.

I would make out with Brody, yeah. Oh, my--

Yeah.

He was incredibly funny, very original.

Obviously... I have a thing for Jews.

So, if this doesn't work out, maybe just think about it, so--

Honestly, like the way that he was just like ripping apart the Boston crowd.

Like, we know how we are. I thought it was hilarious.

I loved it.

I'd make out with him. I mean, if it was the weekend.

I would make out with him on a weekend.

I would, without tequila.

I'd make out with him on the weekend.

Dude's the [BLEEP] man, he tells the truth.

He speaks how it is.

Brody, you're my boy, man. Love your jokes.

You got that [BLEEP]. Got you.

Brody Steven rocks, positive energy. You got it!

You got it!

You got it! You got it!

You got it.

Enjoy it!

Enjoy it! Enjoy it!

Was it good? I don't know.

Whoo!

Get this on camera, Dave.

Yes! Push and believe. You got it.

You like stole the set notes.

I felt I did very good. I was happy with that.

I didn't like that my voice was going out, but what could I do?

I told Comedy Central I'd do 17 interviews.

They were nice. They were with me.

I had some fans. I didn't realize how many fans I had until after.

Hey, Baron. Bring it in, positive energy.

You got it. Yes. We did it.

Incredible. We did it.

A master, I can't believe you got that much energy out of the audience this late at night.

I pushed them.

Pushed them? They were with you at every single moment.

You were like a cake that they kept eating...

and every time they ate some more cake, appeared lighter.

This is endless cake!

Thanks, Baron, I appreciate it. Yes!

You did it. I can't wait until after--

You got it. You got it.

Quiet, I'm ready and go.

You know, it's exciting to think that 20 years ago...

there was this little cable access show...

and here's this guy with his own Comedy Central half hour.

These stories don't happen, you know?

People try to make these stories happen.

But this is a real one.

Brody's like surpassed me, I mean, at this moment...

I think if you want to look at career-wise...

Brody's higher up than I am.

It makes me feel-- I feel a little [BLEEP]...

but there's no jealousy.

I got almost nothing going on, you know?

30 Rock is done, not filming that.

I'm not doing any movies, so I'm happy as hell for him.

Brody could be like an A-list celebrity.

You know, have millions of dollars and still be like...

Hey, Brody, can you-- we still want you to do warm-up.

Yeah, I'm on the cover of Rolling Stone.

What time should I be there?

I'll bring the tambourine.

He just loves what he does, you know?

It's kind of what he was born to do.

He has more amazing projects to come.

Everyone's just rooting for him.

If I had a network, I'd invest a lot in Brody.

I would, this is on Comedy Central now, right? All right.

Brody!

Talent only. Excuse me, guys.

I'm talent!

Why can't I get in there?

Is there an app to get me in?

Here I go. Son of a bitch!