All language subtitles for Brody.Stevens.Enjoy.It.S01E01_English

Yes! Feeling good about life.

A lot of people say, "Brody,
are you a comedian or are you
a baseball player?"

I'm a baseball player.
You got it!

A failed baseball player.

Feeling great. Putting
the time in. Devoted.

Do one thing,
do it the best you can.

And move on to the
other challenge.

And...

What do I got to show
for myself? Let's be honest.

I never bought a car,
it was given to me.

I don't buy anything.
I pay rent.

I'm on cholesterol medication.

Ready? One, two, and three...

Yes!

Enjoy it!

Yes! Positive energy!
I believed in myself.

You believed in myself.

You were a fantastic audience,
from Michigan to the
San Fernando Valley.

818 'til I die!

Fudge? Yes.

Brody Stevens, everybody.
One more time for Brody Stevens.

It was all right,
I didn't crush. I did fine.

I had some good moments,
but it was nothing amazing.

The audience didn't know
who I was necessarily.

A few people did.

But it takes a while for people
who don't know me to...

click into me.

I am a professional.

I've been doing this for about
five weeks now, okay?

Please welcome back the very
funny Brody Stevens!

Brody Stevens.

Brody Stevens,
come on over here.

Yes!

Comedian, the very funny
Brody Stevens is with us.

Thank you.

This is my big chance.

I'm un-TiVo-ing this.
It's okay, it's okay.

I created the vibe
at Chelsea Lately.

I know you girls watch
that show.

I created the vibe
at Fox Sports, 1,200 shows.

Back to you, Brody Stevens.

Thank you, Daniel.

Brody Stevens, reporting live...

to you from the kitchen window.

I can't believe
I have to say this, sir.

But you can't shoot
your son with a crossbow.

Well, tell him to stop
eating my candy.

Oh, jeez.

Speed Stick, deodorant
for your be-odorant.

Jewy people buying German cars.

What the [BLEEP]
is that [BLEEP]?

Yeah, it feels good to be
successful. I'm doing movies.

How many people saw me
in The Hangover?

You do not want to be
sitting on these benches.

We call this place Loserville.

Hangover 2, in it.

Here you go.

Due Date, opening scene,
with Robert Downey Jr.

Hey, man, you just hit my car!

Crushed it.

Sorry, we gotta have a word
from our sponsor.

Hi, I'm Barry
of Barry's Bananas.

Bananas so good,
other bananas enjoy them.

Enough! Enough!

Is-- is this
Between Two Bananas?

but, I mean, going on
and on about banana stuff is--

Zach! Zach! Zach! Zach!

Zach! Zach!

Where is he?
Zach Galifianakis!

You made this moment happen!

He wasn't gonna do it!

My positive energy created
this whole event!

I deserve better than quote,
30 spots at The Comedy Store.

Where did Zach go?

Zach! Please come back.

You might not get him,
and that's okay.

I don't get him a lot of times.

He's a jock who's doing
performance art.

Tight as a belt.

CAMERA (O.S.)
How'd you meet Zach?

You know, we were kind
of fans of each other back
in New York...

in '99 at Stand Up New York.

Zach was hosting a lot.

I was doing some late night
spots and we'd hang out,
we'd go to Dublin's.

ZACH (O.S.)
That's not true.
I met you once.

ZACH (O.S.)
Right? I mean,
am I wrong about that?

So, Chicago is your
starting point.

Chicago was the starting point.

You're probably right.

I've known Zach for nine years.

He's known me for two.

My first impression of Brody
was very, very funny.

Just-- I'm a fan
of his stand-up...

because I've never seen any
person do what he's doing.

He really was so different
from everybody else...

doing comedy that we saw.

I thought he was hilarious.
I was--

Brody never seems like he's
doing material at all.

He's just yelling.

Public school, did it!
Bussing, did it!

Blue collar Jewish,
I just get it.

A lot of confrontation.

Yelling at people...

as if there's some problem...

that isn't really there.

What's funny is he
has these jokes...

Who's going to Coachella?

They're jokes,
they're just kind of jokes.

Are you gonna see The Strokes
there? They're playing the
oldies tent.

And when they fail, which
is the best when they fail...

then that's when he strikes.

Why'd you not laugh?

Why did you not laugh?

His never was about the jokes,
it was about the in-between
of the jokes.

Um... what don't you
like about it?

He's one of those comics that
you watch and you go...

Oh, I wish I did that, why
don't I do that for my comedy.

Talk to people like Brody does
and like, get in the audience
and take chances.

Let me ask what your pedigree
is, Mr.--

Mr. I'm in the front row,
hunched over...

trying to attack
a professional who's made it.

I think he's at his funniest
when he's lost complete control.

So, listen to me, buddy,
I drive on the Fox lot.

When there's a problem
and his hackles are up...

and he's pissed off
a little bit.

You said joke three times,
you do a joke.

There's a certain perverse
enjoyment that you get from...

a guy who you know
is very funny.

And you see a group of people
not quite understanding him.

You think you're gonna
tell me what I--

I know, I see me
perform every night.

And I tape my sets, and
you're gonna tell me what
I'm doing right and wrong?

Shame on you! I did
Premium Blend in 2000.

Where were you?

I mean, he'll win an audience
over, no matter what.

Here's the deal, on cadence
alone, support me!

Ambiance!

He comes on very strong...

but then he'll break down...

and start having a very
vulnerable moment.

Complaining about his sister
or his mom.

My mother worries...

excessively, to the point
that there's mental disease
in my family.

Oh, any mom worries, really?
Like my grandmother?

Who flipped out
at Canter's Deli?

My mom won't even drive down
Fairfax anymore.

The beauty of Brody
off-stage and on-stage...

not much of a difference.

When I'm watching Brody
on stage, it's not like who
is this guy?

It's like, it's him.
It's honest!

It maybe takes more time for
people to see how genius he is.

But once people see it,
it'll stick a lot longer.

He's a specific kind of artist
who can access a very truthful,
real place...

and that's what makes their
art like really beautiful.

And it makes their real life
challenging.

Stay with me, this is my life.

I have nothing else going on.

When you really think about it,
it's like what do I know
about Brody...

other than he's
from the 818 area code.

Loves his mother, and her dog.

I guess I don't really
know a lot about Brody.

Come on in. Welcome
to the Brody house.

The house of Brody.

I'll give you blood flow.
Boom!

So this is the bed and I'll
sleep a lot, I'll be on Twitter.

I take medication,
come on, I'll show you.

This is Lexipro. This says
take one tablet a day.

People think I'm gay, and I'm
not, 'cause I will prove it with
this, it's called a Playboy.

I get 'em, that I do,
a Playboy.

I'll give you something else.
It's called a book.

And I'm in it on page...
something and something.

Three, two, one, one, two,
three. Brody is upside-down.

Look how flexible I am,
I mean--

Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.

I cried today on Magnolia.

I had a breakdown...

and I couldn't let
my mother on to it.

She knew something was up,
her son's voice was crackling.

And she was already on to me.

Are you on your spin bike?
Are you on your mini trampoline?

And I had to say yes.

But in fact, I was curled up
on a Bosu Ball...

tearing up about the pressure.

What was it like giving birth
to Brody Stevens?

To have Brody Stevens, the top
guy on Twitter right now...

the most controversial
podcaster out there...

come out of your body? Go.

I didn't think about it
in those terms.

My mom always wanted
what was best for me.

She was a single parent
in the mid-70's, that's a lot
of pressure.

When you have the media
puttin' things out what the
ideal family should be.

8 is Enough. 3's Company.

Things of that nature.

My mom was a single mother
raising two kids...

in the Valley,
in the mid-70's...

and she's trying to make a
living, and she put me through
private school...

for one semester, first grade.

And I had self-esteem issues.

And I think not having an older
brother, not having a father
around.

They were divorced
because of me.

We couldn't afford Ritalin.
I had running thoughts.

I vandalized a dollhouse in
Sacramento...

and I'm sure the paperwork
is still available...

on microfiche.

And Mom said, "Steven,
why are you on the roof naked?

"Why are you walking in that
man's wet cement?"

We got ran out of Sacramento
and we ended up in the
San Fernando Valley.

Back home in '76
for the bicentennial.

BRODY (O.S.)
Tell you what I'm gonna do
for your 80th birthday.

I can hardly wait.

I am gonna reconcile
with Stephanie.

I think I need to reach out with
Stephanie to get a gift for you.

And then we both present it to
you on your 80th birthday
celebration, here next month.

What do you think about that?

CAMERA (O.S.)
Who's Stephanie?

My sister, she's five years
older than me.

CAMERA (O.S.)
You guys used to live
together, right?

Yup.

CAMERA (O.S.)
What happened there?

Just, uh...

didn't see eye to eye,
that's all.

You can tell, like, as a kid,
like, she didn't want anybody to
look at me.

"Mom, why do I have to do this?
Why do I have to take a picture
with Steven?"

You don't think that affected
me, Stephanie? It did.

You were a bully.

I have a sister,
she punched me, she beat me.

She threw keys at me,
spit on me, hit me with a pan.

And you're saying, "Brody,
what beatings hurt the most?"

The beatings with the keys.
Why? Because my sister
was a janitor.

I probably said some things
that were out of line.

CAMERA (O.S.)
Like what did you say to her?

I called her a hoarder, a
diabetic, mentally abusive.

Some evil things.

How do you think Stephanie will
react when I say let's nip it
in the bud, Stephanie?

At least for Mom's 80th
birthday?

I don't know, but you
have to be sincere.

You sometimes-- you don't
act sincere.

What do you mean?

I'm the most sincere guy
in Hollywood, Jackie Berman.

Yes! Steven Brody Stevens,
sincerity is my calling card.

Pickin' it up
at Kinko's tonight.

Steven, I don't know, because
you're very, very difficult...

and she is very difficult.
Right!

The two of you-- the two
of you bait each other.

( PHONE RINGING )

STEPHANIE (ON PHONE)
Hello?

Stephanie.
Steven.

Welcome back to the program.

Our next guest was born
in the Valley.

He does not have a girlfriend.

He did not go to prom.

He has issues with his sister.

I'm pleased to have
Brody here at this table
for the first time.

And welcome.
Thank you, Charlie.

It's a pleasure to be here...

and I'm excited to talk about
my life and taking it to
the next level.

So why are you here now?

Well, I'm here basically
to reconcile with my sister.

I said, "Stephanie, stop being
mean to me, stop picking on me.

I'm not little Steven,
I'm grown-up Brody right now.

So Brody wants this
to be worked out.

Brody wants this,
my mom wants this.

This is not a fight between
teenagers, you're two adults.

Well, I'm 40 and she's 45,
and we do have some issues
over the condominium.

My mom feels like my sister's
better with the paperwork.
Yes.

She deserves it.

But I go, I look at the house,
and she's taken over three
bedrooms...

where I used to grow up, where I
used to play baseball.

And now she's got pottery,
sweaters, jewelries.

And I'm saying, "Stephanie, we
gotta work together.

"Mom doesn't like that we're
fighting. We need to grow up.
And let's make Mom happy."

It's great to have you
on the program, Brody.

Charlie, I've loved your show
since Day One...

and it's an honor
to be here, thank you.

Enjoy it!

( PHONE RINGING )

Hello?

Stephanie.

It's Steven, your brother.

So listen, I went down
and I saw Mom.

And she wants us to reconcile
for her 80th birthday.

I think it's a great idea if you
and I go get her a gift for her
birthday.

Look, I know you want
to meet Dane Cook.

You had that chance, am I right?

Are you talking to me?

Who are you dating now?

Don't be an ass... for once.

What?

Are you hanging out
with like a lot of girls?

What is that su--
You can get a guy.

You can get a good-looking,
mature guy who's got some money,
I think.

Thank you for that
keen bit of insight.

Well, what do you think,
Stephanie?

Let's go. I gotta
get out of here, Steven.

Why?

You gotta put out
positive energy.

So, Stephanie, I've matured
since I've gone away.

I think you should call Mom
and say that he has grown up.

I doubted him.

I guess I was--
I guess I was wrong.

...about you being humble.

It's supposed to be
about you being humble.

I am humble, Stephanie, I'm
here. That's a humble activity.

And you're humble, too,
for accepting, because I was
abusive towards you.

I said some verbal venom...

that felt great! No, it didn't.
It didn't. It was wasted energy.

All right, what do you think
I need to work on as a--
as a person?

You really have to stop thinking
that your way is the only way.

Be open to other people's
opinions.

I am open to other people's
opinions...
No, you're not.

and they're not right,
usually.

I'm in the trenches.
I'm doing the warm-up.

I'm on the airplane flights.
This whole thing...

I went to Bangkok.

Steven,
it's this whole thing.

You're not open and
you're not receptive.

To who? I listen to Zach,
I listen to major leaguers.

Do they differ
with your opinions? No.

Because we're doing
things right.

You're not doing things wrong.

I'm just doing things right.

You probably think
I'm gay, and I'm not.

Why do you say that?

Why did I say what?

If I was gay, wouldn't
I have a boyfriend by now?

Or wouldn't somebody say yeah,
I was Brody's--

Well, you don't have a
girlfriend by now, either.

That doesn't matter,
I'm in Hollywood, Stephanie.

This is a crazy town.
I get chicks.

Fabulous.

But I do want a girlfriend,
a hot chick, I have
high standards.

Stephanie, does this feel
like a date?

This right here, right now?
Yeah.

Yeah, no.

You mean you've never gone
on a date to the food court
at the Topanga Mall?

With my brother? No.

With a guy and he drove back
on Oxnard, a dark street?

This is a romantic street.

Yeah, you've been driving
for 24 years...

and it's like the second time
I've been in the car
with you driving.

Just be positive.

Mom will be very excited that
the reconcile is halfway there.

It's like a bridge,
we've laid the foundation...

and now all we need to do
is put the cables to work...

and open up the roads.

So, Stephanie, I guess this
is the big moment where
I walk you up to the door.

Well, thanks for dinner.

Yeah, this is probably
not gonna happen.

Here, hug me in the light.

Thank you, Stephanie.

You're on my foot.

Thank you very, very much.

Hug me for Dad.
Let it out, let it out.

Zach and Greg hug,
there you go.

Who's-- I don't know
who Greg is.

Greg is Zach's brother.
Oh.

Two people who are at each
others' throats.

Vicious, like Egypt and Libya,
and now we're together.

Okay.
What a successful night.

Thank you for dinner.

You got it.

You know, it's a big year
for me, man.

This is my opportunity.

Whoo!

Now it's my turn!

Doing well, creating a pilot
presentation... for HBO.

Now I'm at the point where
I can start doing my own thing.

And now I have the backing of
the number one comedy actor...

once Will Ferrell retires,
or Vince Vaughn retires.

I'm back with my sister.
We reconciled for my mother's
80th birthday!

Yeah... there's nothing
wrong with my family!

We're back, and I'm telling you,
good things are gonna happen
right now.

Juliette Lewis sent me
a direct message on Twitter...

saying, "Hey, do you know Brody
Stevens? What's going on?"

And so I went and I looked
at his Twitter feed...

and it was like non-st--
like over two days...

there was no break where
he would have slept.

And I was like, "Well, this
is definitely not normal.

I looked at his Twitter feed.

And it was like literally every
four, five, six seconds.

Man, give me this [BLEEP] thing.

No, no, no,
he's cornering people.

Really physically different.

I'm a star! I have this!
I've got HBO.

It's a [BLEEP] set-up,
[BLEEP] you.

There was nothing behind
his eyes.

SARAH (O.S.)
Unstoppably manic.

And then he said he had a gun.

That's when we decided,
we gotta call the cops.

BRODY (O.S.)
Daniel, if you can just vouch
for me? Tell them I'm not crazy.

Yes!

Positive energy!

Enjoy it!

Push and believe!

Reseda!

818 'til I die!

With that crazy, big smile.

CAMERA (O.S.)
Uh...