Original subtitles

Madame?

Pain... injection.

Getting goforth on the phone!

Shove the phone.

What I want goforth on is film and tape.

You idiot birdbrain, get your butt on the boat.

How did you get aboard?

I just missed the boat she sent for me.

= you know goforth?

If you're a friend of goforth's,

you can pay your passage by getting her to see us.

They say she's a bitch to approach.

How well do you know her?

Well, it's been some time since I've seen her,

but, well actually I,

actually, I know her quite well.

= oh.

Off.

Bloody bitch of the world!

= Mrs. goforth!

Another one of their goddamned village delegations.

= hello.

Rudi!

Does one of you speak english?

Yes, I speak enough.

Senora, we have come here

because of the widow of the man you killed here.

The widow of this young man does have no money to live.

The widow of that

robber will be given money to leave this island.

When she gets on the boat

with her fantastic lies, then, then is when.

Then!

= Mrs. goforth!

- Where was I? - The prince said to me.

Oh yes.

The prince said to me "madame goforth,

"your exact origins are a mystery to all of us."

And I said to the prince,

"without champagne, my origins are a mystery even to me

"but I think it's safe to assume

"that I originated in the womb of my mother

"with some assistance from a father unknown

"on a day unknown of a year unknown."

Mrs. goforth!

My name has been

in lights since scarcely more than a child.

Then marriage to five industrial kings

all who had vast fortunes which,

according to the looks of them,

they deposited in their bellies.

A pyramid of tycoons.

But then, after them is once love.

My sixth and last marriage was to a young poet,

light as a bird, who had a passion for altitudes

far above sea level.

Mrs. goforth!

No interruption.

In these pictures, which I'd like reproduced

at this point in my memoirs,

he's shown preparing to climb a mountain

down which he fell to his death,

5,000 feet down to his death in a field of show.

My heart fell with him and was shattered, as he was.

How in hell can I work with those

goddamned dogs of rudi's barking up a storm?

Go tell rudi to either shoot them or shut them up!

= rudi!

Call your dogs off him before they tear him to pieces.

Hurry up, play golf, play golf.

Did they hurt you much?

Well, I'm alive.

Mrs. goforth!

What does the sign on the beach say?

Private property, keep out.

Just keep out?

Not beware of dogs?

It says nothing about dogs.

Go down there right away

and put up a beware of the dog sign in three languages.

And arabic.

If that man's gonna sue me

I'll have to prove there was a beware of dog sign.

Move, move, quick!

Mrs. bloody goforth!

He's out there shouting my name as if he knew me.

Would you do something for me? Would you tell Mrs. goforth

that Mr. Christopher flanders is here to see her?

Oh yes, and give her this book

and tell her that I wish to see her.

And don't mention the dogs.

Just say that I climbed the mountain,

and I'm tired, very tired.

Man bring this up road.

Man dogs bite?

Yes, this brings up mountain.

Man resemble this photo?

Yes, this man.

= go out and tell.

Blackie.

Tell him to go out and say that I'm terribly upset

about the accident with the dogs

but I want to know why he came here

and that I am not responsible

for anyone that comes here without an invitation.

No, I will not.

You will.

I can't give a man

nearly killed by dogs such an inhuman message.

What's human or inhuman is not for human decision.

Now you get out there and interrogate him.

Now you put some questions to him,

such as what he wants here.

If you get the proper answers,

put him up in the little pink villa.

Tell him I'll see him after my siesta.

Lord knows, I could use some male companionship.

- Ah! - Sorry, I forgot to warn you.

It's mountain spring water.

God, it's cold!

Ar!

= what's all this metal for?

Well, I'll,

I'll show you.

This one actually has a title.

It's called "the earth is a wheel

in the great big gambling casino."

I'd like you to show it to Mrs. Goforth as soon as possible.

You see, I want to please her as soon as I can,

as much as I can.

Perhaps it'd be a good idea if you hung it in the wind

so that it would show to the best advantage.

I heard, I was told that

Mrs. goforth hasn't been feeling too well lately.

Mrs. goforth is a dying monster

who seems to think her legendary existence

couldn't go on for less than forever,

insists that she's only suffering from bursitis, neuritis,

it is-this, it is-that, this-it is,

that-it is, anything but death-it is.

Does she remember meeting me?

She inspected you through her owl window

and seemed to like your looks

so I think you're in for a while.

Ah, well tell me.

What will be my program after I've woken up?

Don't you make out your own programs?

Oh, well not when I'm visiting.

= is that much of the time?

Well you might describe me as a professional house guest.

You like that thing?

Very much.

Why don't you keep it.

Thank you, but I couldn't.

I'd better go now.

Oh I wonder, would it be possible

could you get me a bite to eat?

I'd especially like a glass of milk.

= I'll tell the cook.

Thank you.

You're the kindest person I've met in a long time.

What are you grinning about, what's so funny, huh?

= you mustn't call them that.

It has a very insulting meaning.

I know what it means,

Ms. black, and that's what I meant it to mean.

Now tell them to bring the table over here

so I can put my chair in the shadow

when I want it in the shadow.

My skin's too delicate to be in the sun

for more than half-hour intervals.

Now tell them what I want put on the table.

A cold bottle of mineral water, suntan lotion,

cigarettes, a codeine tab, a bucket of ice,

a glass, a bottle of Brandy,

my newspapers: The Paris trib,

the Rome daily American, the financial times,

the wall street journal, the daily express.

What's that god damned thing?

Something he gave me to give you.

It seems he makes mobiles.

Does he seem like some kind of a nut case to you?

= no.

Help me up, will you?

The sun's making me dizzy.

Oh god damn, you broke the skin with my ring.

Bring a telex report out to me.

Ow!

Shit on your mother!

God damn it.

I'll sign myself into a criminal institution.

What does this manders Sanders have to say for himself?

And he wondered if you remembered him or not.

Well I may have met him sometime, somewhere,

when I used to like to meet people,

before they all seemed to become the same person

over and over again and I tired of that person.

Blackie, do you know what I need

to get me over this depression this summer?

What would do more good than all the shots

and pills in the pharmaceutical kingdom?

I need myself a lover.

What do you mean by a lover?

= t mean a lover.

What do you mean by a lover?

I've only had one lover, my husband Charles.

He died last spring.

Yeah, last spring.

It beats me how you could have a husband named Charles

and not call him Charlie.

Mixed market with light trading.

Did he take a bath without resistance?

He seemed happy to bathe.

Did you hang around and have a look at him in the bathtub?

Naturally, yes of course.

= well I would've looked.

I'm not a child of nature, as you say you are.

Pity.

The only clothes he has are the ones the dogs demolished

so I suppose you'll have to provide him

with something to wear.

I'll provide him with something to wear.

That should be an interesting costume for him,

the robe of a professional Japanese warrior.

Put that in the pink villina.

Oh wait.

= with the sword?

Yeah, why not?

A man has the right to defend himself if he wants to.

Now do that, and do this.

Call the witch of Capri,

the one that wired me last month,

"are you still living?"

Say I've never been better,

and to come here for dinner this evening

and that it's urgentissimo

and that I'll dispatch a boat around sundown.

Urgentissimo, like everything else this summer.

The bitch would have me over here at high tide

so's that I should get up there

looking like a bit of seaweed.

- Well, no comment? - Hurry up, hurry up.

The witch of Capri has landed.

Hey, what's this third place at the table?

Are you having dinner with us?

No, thank you.

Well, who's the third place reserved for?

The man in the pink villa.

I thought he'd be dining with you.

Well you thought wrong.

He's having no meals with me till I know more about him.

The witch should be able to give me

the lowdown on this mountain climber.

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

- Sissy! - Billy!

Don't tell me we're gonna have a Chinese dinner.

= this isn't a Chinese costume.

It's a kabuki costume.

= is that so?

Yes, it's some centuries old.

Don't you feel ancient in it?

No, no, no, no, no.

Actually, I studied kabuki once.

I became quite good at it.

= is that so?

I was the guest artist at a relief thing for tycoon

or typhoon victims.

I can still do.

Watch.

J joong j

j goong j

ar!

I have a touch of neuritis tonight.

I'm suffering too, sissy.

The sea is full of medusas.

You know, those giant jellyfish that sting.

One of them got me today.

Ah, what did he do with you?

Or would you rather not say?

Have a gull's egg, bill.

Oh no, I can't stand gulls.

We eating their eggs cuts down on their population.

What is this monster of the deep?

It has a very horrid expression.

Well don't look at it, eat it.

I couldn't possibly.

Are you still living on blood transfusions, bill?

Not good.

Turn you into a vampire.

Your neck's much too thin, Billy love.

Is it true that you had all those monkey glands

or shots or whatever they are in Switzerland?

I don't approve of it.

It keys you up for a while,

and then you have a complete collapse.

What did they say at the hospital, sissy?

I just went into the hospital for a regular checkup.

The doctors were disgusted with my good health.

When you called me this morning,

t was so relieved I could die.

I shouted a silent hallelujah to myself.

I've heard some very disturbing rumors about you, sissy.

Rumors?

Such as what rumors?

I love you too much to repeat them.

Repeat them.

Astonish me with them.

Well, this party you had over from Capri last month

went back to Capri babbling about poor sissy.

They said they couldn't sleep here

because you spent the whole night shouting over loudspeakers

and pressing electric buzzers.

Capri has turned into a nest of vipers

and the sea is full of medusas

and the medusas are spawned by the witches,

male and female,

the kind that have little forked tongues

in their mouths, like lizards.

I shall tell you the truth if you should care to hear it.

I am writing my memoirs

over a very elaborate intercom system

to my secretary, Ms. black,

and that is the truth of the story.

Has it ever occurred to you that life is all memory?

Except that each present moment goes by so quickly,

you can hardly catch it?

Now don't depress me.

Oh no, look, now look, watch.

Ti walk.

When I was there is a memory.

I take another step.

Where I was before I took the other step

is a memory, bill.

Now watch, watch.

T walk to the end of the terrace.

Ti come back.

When I was at the end of the terrace is a memory now.

Look.

A shooting star.

Shot!

It's a memory.

All husbands, all lovers

are a memory now.

You seem very wrought up, dear.

Today when I was dictating to blackie

the story of the one great love of my life,

my marriage to a wildly beautiful

and beautifully wild young poet named Alec.

He loved mountain climbing, fast cars, roulette, and me.

We'd begin our day at sundown.

He'd get out of bed

and put on the robe of a samurai warrior

with the sword belt and the sword

and I'd jump out of bed as naked as he

and pick up a little Pearl-handled revolver.

Then we'd threaten each other.

I'd say, "surrender your sword or I'll shoot you."

And he'd answer,

"put down your pistol or I'll chop off your head."

What fun!

Oh yes.

Yeah.

But the point is,

today while I was describing Alec,

the poet and mountain climber,

another poet climbed the mountain to see me.

He sent this book to me to identify himself.

His picture's on the frontispiece.

Why, Christopher flanders still in circulation!

Well, god help you, sissy.

I don't want to go into any terrifying details

but Christopher flanders has the unfortunate reputation

of calling on a lady just a step or two

ahead of the undertaker.

Why, just last summer he was staying

with some Texas oil people,

not in the best of health, but in the worst.

Well one night at dinner that wicked old Duke of parma,

we always called him the parma Violet,

poured a bottle of champagne over Christopher's head

and said "I christen thee Christopher flanders,

"the angel of death, Angelo del morte."

And the name has stuck to him, sissy.

I'll tell you more.

When the Texas oil lady found out why

the parma Violet had given poor Chris that name,

she was thrown into a panic and told him

he must check out the first thing next morning.

Well that night he swallowed some sleeping pills, sissy.

He's done this before.

We called it a sleeping trick.

And it is a trick,

because Chris always tells a servant wherever he's staying

to call him early in the morning

so that he can get on the road.

Consequently, you see, he's always found

and revived before the pills can be fatal.

Follow me. - Where to?

The pink villina.

He's been asleep ever since he's been here.

I think he may have been playing his sleeping trick on me.

Now be quiet.

Shh!

Breathing and pulse normal, a good color.

He seems to be sleeping naturally.

What the hell is that?

Many years ago I had a call in New Orleans,

a particularly elegant gentleman know as Cher

who would never go out in the evening without

a little vinaigrette like this filled with ammonia,

and whenever he saw a girl approaching along the sidewalk

he would cry,.

It means fish, you know, dear.

And hold the little cut glass decanter to his nostrils

until the girl had passed by.

Be that as it may,

personally I've always found girls to be fragrant

in any phase of the moon.

Sicily?

I didn't place any phone call to sicily.

How do you like that?

He's making long distance-telephone calls.

And what's that?

A tray of food.

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a house guest.

Especially one that hasn't been invited

that uses your house like a hotel,

charging long distance telephone calls

and calling up room service.

Awfull

injection.

Oh.

Oh god.

Oh!

Yoohoo, sissy!

Sissy,

yoohoo!

Chris.

Chris.

Where were you?

Sissy.

She's disappeared.

She's left me, she's lost.

Woo-woo!

Woo-woo!

You're drunk. =- woo-woo!

I don't understand bird language.

No, don't go out.

Don't go, stay.

Pain gone till tomorrow.

Hello?

You still prowling around here?

Well, I just woke up hungry.

What're you hungry for, huh?

Do you want some of this?

Are you hungry for this?

How does that feel? Does that feel good on your stomach?

You want some more of that, do you?

What's going on here?

Oh, he's got the dry heaves, blackie.

He's Mrs. goforth's guest, you drunk gorilla.

Now get off the terrace.

Mr. flanders, what happened?

J to hide away from this world

j into a world of make believe we'll fly 7

j the two of us, just youand I/

j that's where we'll hide away j

thank you.

I'm lucky that you were not asleep.

I don't sleep much this summer.

I couldn't find any clothes when I woke up,

so I put on this strange robe.

T think I'll take off this sword.

I would keep the sword on at all times while you're here.

Don't I look frightening?

- No, but... - You look frightened.

Last spring I lost my husband.

What are you...

It's wrong?

I'm gonna do two simple things for you.

First, I'm going to put this picture

of your husband in the drawer,

and I'm going to put away your sleeping pills in the drawer.

Now one more thing.

I think you're taking unfair advantage of...

= of a chance situation?

Yes, and you're using...

= tricks?

Wrong.

Wrong.

Wrong.

No, right.

- Blackie. - Oh, it's her.

She wants to give me dictation.

Ti can't.

Yes?

Yes, Mrs. goforth.

It's night, late at night.

Yes, it's late Mrs. goforth.

Don't answer me, this is dictation.

Don't interrupt me.

This is clear as a vision.

The death of harlon goforth

remembered, just how, clearly, clear as a vision.

It's night, late, late night,

without sleep, and I, scarcely more than a child,

am in bed with the great harlon goforth

whose name I still carry after five later marriages.

The great goforth, king of munitions,

a gentleman, a warlord who monarchs

and presidents place next to their wives at banquets.

In bed, all dignity gone,

a powerless thing without shame.

Now, he mounts me again.

He's crushing me under the awful weight of his body.

He mounts me again.

He's trying to make love.

He never could.

He stops suddenly now.

He whispers, "baby, I have a pain.

"I have a terrible pain in my head.”

Silently I say to myself, "oh, thank god!"

But aloud I say, "tablets?

"You want tablets?"

"Harlon, what is it, harlon?"

He answers me with a grunt, with a groan.

Ti look at harlon.

I see death in his eyes.

I see, I khow he has death in his eyes,

but he has something worse in them.

Terror, he has terror in his eyes.

I see it.

I feel it myself.

I get out of the bed.

I get out of the bed as if escaping from quicksand.

I don't look at him anymore.

I move, I move away from the bed.

T move from the bed.

I move from death, terror.

I leave him with, it's his, it's his!

It's not mine.

I go straight to the door,

to the door, yes, wanting escape.

The door.

It's closed.

I can't open it!

I leave him alone with his death, his...

I've got out.

I've got out now.

I'm on the terrace, 25 stories high,

above the high, high city of goforth.

I see lights blazing below the high, high city,

but there's not a light blazing, no, not one,

not a light blazing

as bright as the terror in his eyes.

Oh, wind.

Cool wind, clean release.

Relief, escape after the night after night

weight of the impotent crushing me,

weight of the dead.

No.

Behind me now, body of goforth.

Goforth.

Goforth!

Die!

Mrs. goforth

don't move.

I'm lost, I'm blind.

I'm dying.

Oh blackie, don't leave me alone.

Don't leave me alone.

Blackie, don't leave me alone.

= still here?

= the air's turned cold.

Church bells are waking up. = yes.

Taking off my sword.

Everything you say or do is like you're playing a game.

Games can be honestly played.

Hot sun,

cool breeze,

white horses on the sea

and a big shot of vitamin b in me.

Now.

I want to begin this chapter on a more serious note,

the meaning of life.

= pictures now?

What's he pushing that thing out here for?

It looks like a baby buggy for a baby from Mars.

It's just a portable X-ray machine

that your doctor in Rome sent here

to spare you the trouble of going

back there for another examination.

= examination for what?

Later, a little later.

= leave that here.

And get your fat ass and your sneaky grin off this terrace.

Out!

Down, go!

Shall we call it a day? = hurry up.

Begin.

Continue dictation.

The meaning of life.

Hurry, hurry.

Monkey off balcony.

Remove it!

Breakfast?

There's nothing out here

but black coffee and saccharin tablets,

but as soon as I get a chance I'll raid the kitchen for you.

Sooner or later,

a person's obliged to face the meaning of life.

= dictation?

No, no, reflection.

I'll raise my hand when I begin dictation.

I've often wondered, wondered more lately,

what the hell are we doing?

Just going from one goddamn frantic distraction to another

till finally one too many goddamn frantic distractions

leads to disaster,

blackout,

eclipse of...

Total of,

total...

There's a fog coming in.

Do you see that over there, that fog coming in?

Why, no.

It's perfectly clear in all directions today.

Excuse me.

Blackie, will you kindly

or unkindly... yes, immediately.

The meaning of life, what is it?

Oh, oh, no wonder.

Banzai, samurai

you're the kindest person I've ever met.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I seem to have disturbed you in your work.

This day's work is shot to hell.

Blackie, what's the matter with you?

Manners, I have them too.

Yeah, I guess they're epidemic.

Blackie.

You've had the pleasure of meeting this gentleman.

T haven't.

Blackie, will you introduce me to him?

I was hoping you'd remember our meeting, Mrs. goforth.

I'm Christopher flanders. That I suspected.

No, no, I don't go in for hand kissing.

Well it was in... = yes?

Name a date.

Mrs. fergusson's table at the ball.

Did you come out for battle with that sword on you?

Well, not unless I run into those black devil-dogs again.

Ah yes, I heard about

your little misunderstanding with the dogs.

I'm sorry if it disturbed you,

but their bite was worse than their bark.

Well, didn't you read

the private property sign in three languages

and the beware of dog sign in three languages

as you climbed up that goat path?

I didn't notice any reference to any dogs in any language.

Naturally not.

The beware of dog sigh was put up after Mr. flanders'

little misunderstanding with the dogs.

- Blackie, that is not so. - Yes, it is so.

I was in the room with you when you ordered that.

Blackie, you were not hired this summer to contradict me.

= I've never been hired

for a job that called for supporting falsehood.

Ms. black, it's obvious

that I trespassed on private property

it's quite true. = that is true.

It is true.

If that true statement is typed up, blackie, type it up.

Would you be willing to sign it, Mr. flanders?

Yes, certainly, of course.

He was attacked again last night.

What, the dogs attacked him last night?

Your watchman, rudi,

attacked him when he woke up hungry and came out.

Blackie, get off this terrace!

I try to help you.

I try to feel sorry for you because you're...

What?

What am I?

All right, go on, it's all right.

I've been surrounded by traitors all summer.

I, Christopher flanders,

agree that I entered a gate called private

at my own risk, and that the encounter

with the dogs was my own responsibility.

Chris flanders.

= unscrew that bottle.

= one tablet?

- Two. - There you go.

Thank you.

Blackie, the boss is sorry

she took her nerves out on you.

It's those nighttime injections, I guess.

Oh god, blackie.

Some awful things crawled up the mountain this summer

and I've got to shove it off like I did

that baby buggy from Mars.

It scares me.

Maybe it just could be possible

that the boss is dying

this summer

under that angry old lion, the sun,

and the,

and the unsympathetic,

insincere... sympathy of the

far-away...

Stars.

You have a good pair of legs on you.

I mean, under you.

I find them very useful for climbing mountains.

You've good teeth too.

I'd love to sink them into some hot,

buttered toast, Mrs. goforth.

Oh no, no toast.

No, no thank you, but I,

I never have anything solid or semi-solid for breakfast

because I find it takes the edge off my energy for work.

Now, I began today's dictation

with a serious comment on the meaning of life.

Oh?

Then you came out on the terrace.

Well, if I distract you, Mrs. goforth,

I'd be delighted to go into the kitchen

and make myself a bite of breakfast.

No, have some coffee with me.

Ah, with cream and sugar.

Well, we have no cream

but do have a saccharin tablet,

Mr. trojan horse guest.

Ah, well, it was in the Waldorf astoria some years ago,

quite a few, you said that whenever I was in Europe

I should drop in and see you.

Ah, well passports expire and so do invitations.

How about a little?

That means little walk.

I was hoping you'd show me your kingdom.

We'd better go no further.

I'm frankly scared of a cliff without a balustrade.

You won't be scared with me beside you.

Come, I'll show you. No, no, turn back!

I don't know you.

If I were a doctor and you were my patient

I would make a little note in your files,

the fearless lady's subject to fits of unreasonable panic.

Have I changed much since you last saw me?

Why no, not at all.

People are always amazed at how little I change.

Hurry.

Who, what?

I've paid you several compliments.

Now it's time you paid me some, huh?

Yes, well, I've never in my life

met anybody at all like you.

You bet you haven't.

You stay around here,

you're in for a lot of surprises, mister,

because when I return to this mountain every summer, I shed.

I throw off all social conventions,

shams, and proprieties of behavior.

T live in absolute naturalness of nature.

And if it shocks anybody, too bad.

Goodbye, anybody.

I give not a tinker's damn.

Yes, I pop out with things unexpected

and I do anything I have an urge to do.

Some people can't take it.

Okay then, goodbye some people.

Mrs. goforth, some people,

most people get panicky

when they're not cared for by somebody.

I get panicky when I've nobody to care for.

Yeah?

Is that so?

You seem to be setting yourself up as a Saint of some kind.

Yahoo!

Yahoo!

Oh, god.

Why, it's Christopher, Christopher flanders.

I think I saw you last night.

What's this?

He must've been dreaming about me.

Yeah, having a nightmare.

How is it you missed

the return trip to Capri last night?

Last night, oh, what confusion.

Chris, where was it I last saw you?

T know.

That party those Texas oil people gave in portofino.

You were staying with them

and you were terribly depressed over the sudden death of...

Yes.

What's that curious costume you're wearing?

= it's a samurai warrior's outfit.

Better watch the sword, bill.

He might chop off your head.

The chopping of a head is a sure cure

for a tongue that's too big for a mouth.

Something dreadful happened

and you were involved in some way.

Ti can't remember the details.

Let him forget.

Yes, it's best forgotten.

Are you leaving us, sissy? Yes, Mrs. goforth.

I originated in the womb of my mother.

How did this happen?

The witch spent the night here.

He's out there now, putting the make on the poet.

Call the boatman.

He's going straight back to Capri

whether he knows it or not.

Going?

Going, you're going?

No, I mean sissy.

She's going.

Going.

It's ghastly.

Do you intend to stay here?

Well, if invited I'd like to stay.

You've been foolish too long.

The years you devoted to that Ferguson bitch

and what did it get you?

She had you.

You were had and she left you with nothing, I'll bet.

Otherwise you wouldn't be here at poor sissy's,

wearing one of her mad, oriental costumes.

Listen.

Go, quickly, before she dies

and the talk about you starts all over again.

Don't make me say things about you

that I'd rather not say.

What could you say about me that hasn't been said?

You're the heart of a world that has no heart,

the heartless world that you live in.

Has that ever been said about you before, Mr. ridgeway?

Barone Mr. death angel flanders.

Ah, yes.

We both have new titles.

Sally, Laurie, Phyllis,

emerald, sissy.

Time for death, old girls.

Beddy-bye, beddy-bye, old girls.

The death angel's with you.

No dreams.

Now, now, now, not violent.

My heart pumps blood that isn't my own blood.

It's the blood of anonymous blood donors.

And as for the world I live in, you know it.

You've lived in it.

Oh Chris, come to Capri.

It's a mountain, too.

Are you frightened of the new nickname they've given me,

the new title, Angelo del morte?

= no.

I think it's a joke you take too seriously.

You've become too sullen.

Let me take that curse off you.

Come to Capri.

Bill?

The boatman is waiting for you.

Mr. flanders, get off that balustrade.

If you lost your balance,

you would fall 1,000 feet down.

I can't go back in a dinner jacket before sundown.

Oh yes, you can.

Franko, put this gentleman in the funicular

and speed him back to Capri in a speedboat.

Chris, come down and help me.

I'm being evicted.

Be brave, sissy. Brave about what?

You two watch out for each other.

Ciao, ciao!

Would you care if I fell 1,000 feet to the sea?

Yes, it would make a scandal.

Hyah!

Mrs. goforth, I'm going to tell you the truth

about myself, if you'd like to believe it.

The truth about yourself,

I think, is the only thing I would believe.

Boom.

T had an invitation

to visit a lady who lives on top of ravello.

Ti wired her that I'd arrived.

She sent me a wire back.

What the wire said was this.

"Not yet.

"Not ready for you yet, dear angel of death."

= ridiculous!

Hmm, an inconvenience since I'd...

Since you'd invested all your remaining income

in this standing invitation that had stopped standing.

Stop this, this exhibitionism

or I shall put an immediate stop to this meeting.

I usually let a man know when I want to be kissed

and it's not so quickly.

Ar!

Blackie!

There, it's moving again.

Fearless lady, subject to fits of unreasonable panic.

When the villa and the villinas are overcrowded,

I pick out the ones I want to get rid of

and send them down here,

to my charming little grass house on the beach.

Down they go,

and what becomes of them I do not know.

= no skeletons in here.

Get back in your robe!

Put your clothes on.

I can't take the beach today.

You've got more things

going for you than your teeth, baby.

What have you got there, blackie?

= some food for Mr. flanders.

Oh, blackie's so thoughtful sometimes.

Put it down over there.

I said over there, not here.

And bring my menthol inhaler and tissues.

I've run out.

Simonetta!

Simonetta!

Take that tray away.

I can't stand the sight of food now.

Mrs. goforth, I feel my presence here

has disturbed you, annoyed you.

= don't reach for a smoke.

Wait till I offer you one.

May I have one?

= kiss me for it.

Mr. flanders keeps looking at my jewels,

as if calculating their value,

and he's constantly fiddling with that sword.

Oh, the sun's left the terrace.

I have, do you know, what the French call

which means complete dominion on this island

and freedom to do whatever's necessary

to protect myself and my possessions

from any and all possible threats.

That should make you feel safe.

Safety is something I never take for granted.

I suppose you dine out here

just about the time when the little boats

are going to sea with their lamps for night fishing

and the poem's sea fades into the poem's sky.

Sky?

Not firmament?

Why not call it firmament?

Much more poetic.

Hey.

How many books of poetry have you come out with?

Just the one I brought you.

You mean, you burned out as a poet?

What?

You mean, you burned out as a poet?

Why are you laughing?

I didn't say anything funny.

Well my nerves are...

Gone, like your list of suckers?

= made in two.

Do you want me to go, Mrs. goforth?

That depends.

Depends on what?

Well frankly, I've been lonely up here this summer.

= t can understand that.

Now you're not stupid.

You're attractive to me, you know you are.

You deliberately set out

to make yourself attractive to me, and you are.

So don't be a freeloader.

Mrs. goforth, I think you've been exposed

to the wrong kind of people.

Oh, don't give me that moral blackmail.

You know what that is,

people who impose on you with that old,

old trick of making you feel

that it would be unkind of you

if you did not permit them to impose on you.

I give away nothing.

I sell and I buy in my life and I always wind up

with profits, one way or the other.

You came up here with an old book of poems

published 10 years ago

by playing on the terrible, desperate loneliness

of a rich, old, broken-hipped woman.

I made her walk again.

She published my poems.

You latched onto a good thing.

Ididn'tneedit, I was fashionable then.

Do you sit while a woman stands?

Sorry.

Sit down.

In xanadu, did kubla Khan

a stately pleasure dome decree

where alph, the sacred river,

ran through caverns measureless to man

down to a sunless sea.

What?

You're suffering from the worst of all afflictions

and I don't mean one of the body.

I mean, the thing people feel

when they go from room to room for no reason

then go back from room to room for no reason

then go out for no reason and come back for no reason.

All I have todo is pick up that telephone

and this island will be so crowded with anybody I...

Is it so easy for you?

Is it so easy for you this summer, proud as you are,

full known, absolute monarch of an island kingdom

that flies its own flag, a golden Griffin?

You don't summon guests

who might ignore the summons

because you've developed some curious habits

like keeping a revolver in your pocket

and keeping your hand in the pocket.

And there's the still unclarified story

of the young fisherman, one of your subjects

from the village that you had

sentenced to death and executed one night.

= vicious lies!

Malicious distortion!

So he's still living and fishing?

He's as dead

as the deadest fish he ever netted or caught.

Look.

See this ring with the famous stone, called the Aurora?

It's a very noticeable object.

Yes.

I noticed you noticed it.

Well, late one night I woke up

feeling the ring being pulled from my finger.

I pressed the alarm button under my pillow.

On the way down the mountain,

he was naturally halted.

I put his widow on a very generous pension.

= that's not true.

He was in your bedroom by invitation.

What if he was?

Or wasn't?

Boom.

Boom?

Boom.

The shock of each moment, of still being alive.

When a wave breaks against the rock,

it looks like a fan, a delicate, white lace fan.

But if it hits you...

Me?

If it hits you, it would smash you against the rocks

and you would be broken in pieces.

You're fiddling too much with that sword.

You suspect me of being a possible assassin?

Take it off.

Take that off.

Take that sword, give it to me.

- A call for Mr. flanders. - For me?

How could anybody possibly know I'm here?

Oh, cut the bull.

You received a phone call here last night.

Business must be picking up for you.

Excuse me.

= take it here.

Pronto, pronto?

Madelyn, how are you?

How's your dear mother?

Oh my god.

I meant to go straight down there.

Was the end what they call peaceful?

Yes, yes, I know, but...

= simonetta!

Simonetta, tell etti.

Listen!

Understand.

Tell etti that man on the terrace, bring his,

simonetta!

Bring his bags on the terrace.

Rudi.

Rudi!

Come back to the terrace.

I think, I think...

It was expected and inevitable, yes,

but I did so hope to be there when it happened.

I had to stop off at madame goforth's island.

Had to, had to?

How could you?

And you, Madelyn, how are you?

Are you all right?

Yes, I know, but I could come along

and make some arrangements.

I'm good at that.

No.

Well Madelyn, what can I say, but, accept it.

Yes, bye for now.

Accept it.

I've just had some news that shocked me.

Another name you had to scratch off the list?

Did you say list?

You know, I went to a spiritualist once

and she said to me,

"I hear many dead names calling flora, flora."

I knew then that she was a fake,

since all my close friends call me sissy.

So I said to her,

"tell them to mind their own business

"and play their gold harps and mind their own harp playing."

Sissy goforth is not ready to go forth yet

and will not go forth until she is ready.

Etti.

What's that noise?

Open, open.

Open it, empty everything out.

Mrs. goforth, you mustn't do this.

It's ridiculous of you.

This is my island

and you are on my island, all of you,

and I reserve the right to do as I please on my island.

Hurry it up, presto.

This is not a Christmas stocking.

Oh for god's sakes, rudi, you open it.

Empty everything out, dump it out.

What's that black thing that looks like an address book?

Exactly what it is.

Lady emerald Fowler.

She's been in hell for 10 years.

Cristobel Smithers.

That name rings a long-ago church bell for a dead bitch too.

Nancy cove, dead.

Mary Cunningham, dead.

They're all dead.

What are you?

Some kind of graveyard sextant?

I'm a man who has lost many friends.

= now is this finished?

Put everything back in the sack.

I'd rather do that myself if you have no objection.

What I did was the natural thing to do.

Yes, yes.

You're quite right, since I invaded your island.

This man is a complete stranger to me

and I've heard very odd things about him.

Senora, the wind is...

Mr. flanders, I can get

a fishing boat to take you off the island.

Oh, no you can't.

A guest of mine leaves my island on one of my own boats.

And you, what are you doing out here?

Do you have any business out here?

The air is too cold for you now, senora.

Off, off the terrace, all of you off!

Not you, Mr. flanders.

Me, you're talking to me?

You don't want me to go?

No, I want you to stay.

We all of us invite death, Mr. flanders.

The light has changed.

It's darker than this time of day.

It's the kind of light

that comes from an eclipse of the sun.

The sun has gone off the terrace and there's no...

Lower terrace to go to.

= no.

Which way is the sun?

Naturally.

Where does it sit?

In the sea or beyond the mountains?

Who?

= the lion.

Oh, let's go back to the table.

= you're at the table now.

Oh, it's,

it's the...

It's the eclipse of the sun, unexpected.

Your body has more warmth than most men have.

It burns through the sleeve of your robe like radiation.

It makes a difference

to me if a man's skin is warm or not.

I know they all have the same temperature

but some are warmer to touch than others.

Yes, and your voice,

it vibrates in my ears

not so much like a voice or a sound

so much as like a sensation.

Radiation, vibration, sensation.

You'll make me as vain as a peacock if you go on like this

and I have to keep the humility of my faith.

Is this a time for kissing?

Thank you.

A woman doesn't usually thank a man for kissing her.

Especially when she's lovely

and owns an island and the man is a guest.

What's usual is usually unimportant.

Do you want to sit down or do you want to walk awhile?

If we sit at the table, we'd be at opposite sides.

Let's walk a bit further.

Not as far as where the balustrade ends.

In my faith I have to be humble

but about my voice, yes, I suppose it's a good one

because many ladies have asked me

to read to them by their bedsides.

And in their beds, too.

I've never read to a lady in her bed with her.

No!

No further!

Oh, oh, oh!

Hurry, hurry.

It was silly of me, but,

it was silly of me.

Yes, a great many people in your nervous condition

are frightened of heights.

Especially unprotected ones.

That polynesian grass hut

on the beach attracted my very much.

I'd better go in now.

Have a little siesta.

Might I stay there for a while?

Hurry up, play golf.

What?

No, I must sleep now.

I didn't mean your bedroom.

I meant the grass hut on the beach.

Mrs. goforth, is it true

you've discharged the kitchen staff again?

Yes, that's true.

Haven't you heard about the inventory?

What inventory?

Inventory of what?

I had an intuition about things disappearing

and had rudi check my list of fabulous chinas

and half of them were gone, decimated.

And my medici silver, silver,

banquet silver used by the medicis

hundreds of years ago, gone.

That's what the inventory showed.

Mrs. goforth, is it possible you don't remember?

What?

You had it shipped to a storage house in Naples

with an armored convoy.

- Me? - You.

= that's not true.

Mrs. goforth,

when people are very ill and taking drugs for it

they sometimes get confused.

This mountain has been systematically pillaged.

That's what the inventory shows.

An inventory made up by the ex-bodyguard

of a syndicate gangster?

How dare you suggest, and I have a guest!

I will always dare to say what I know to be true.

Blackie, go into the house and get my check book

and write yourself out a check

and whatever is coming to you,

bring it out here and I'll okay it for cash.

Now, you've wanted out.

Take it, go on.

Gladly, gladly.

Mutually gladly.

Go on!

Hurry, hurry.

Boom.

The hemorrhaging has stopped.

She has had a transfusion.

I've given her a shot of adrenalin.

And now she want the gentleman to come in to join her.

Well, that is sufficient.

I put a bottle of milk by your rucksack, in the library.

You did?

You're the kindest girl I've ever...

You said the same thing

to Mrs. goforth just a few hours ago.

Yes.

Yes, well I frequently

tell the same thing to different people.

Who is out there?

It's Chris flanders, Mrs. goforth.

= wait out there a moment.

The doctor gave me a shot of something that made me

a little light-headed.

So you're feeling better?

Oh, it wasn't much.

Just a little blood vessel

at the back of my throat,

but the doctor did tell me to,

to lay off the heavy work for a while,

so I'm just going to finish the volume I'm working on now,

facts and a figure,

and then save the rest till,

for... a sequel.

I think that's a wise idea.

Yes, I've,

I'm worn out.

I'm burned out with the pressure.

I'm literally burnt up,

like a house on fire.

All right.

I'm coming out.

You look,

you look wonderfully recovered.

Well, I never have paid a morbid attention to illness.

It's usually so,

so nothing much.

All that happened was,

I stayed on the terrace too long in the sun.

You see, you were so fascinating

in your samurai warrior's robe

that I forgot time was imprudent.

Whew!

It's so much cooler in my bedroom,

or else this robe is too heavy.

I'm going back into my bedroom.

Come on in.

I have lots of art treasures in my bedroom

including myself.

Included.

Come in.

What's holding you up?

Ah, that's better.

Come in.

Oh, excuse me.

I'll wait until... - Modesty?

Modesty.

I wouldn't have suspected you of suffering

from modesty, Chris.

Myself, I've never indulged in that kind of foolishness.

If you have a world-famous figure, why be selfish with it?

It was a privilege and a pleasure.

Well then, why do you back away?

Back out of my bedroom?

Oh.

Oh, I love the cool air

and cool water on my skin in the summer.

I think it's the nicest thing about summer,

so throw off your robe and come in.

It's tiring my voice to talk across the room.

You have a beautiful body, Mrs. goforth.

Let's cut out the mister and missus bit,

now that we're on intimate terms.

And now I'm going to lie down

on these nice cool, clean sheets.

Ar.

Why are you standing there

in the doorway as if you were paralyzed?

How many times do you have to be invited

into a lady's bedroom?

= you knew I was famished.

What was it you offered me?

Black coffee, or else.

And the else was nothing, was nothing else.

Wait.

Kitchen.

Tell the cook what you want for supper.

Roast beef.

Uh, bif, beef!

Prosciutto.

God damn it!

They don't even know their own bloody language.

Now you see?

You're not only going to be fed,

you're going to be wined and dined in high style

on the terrace tonight.

But in the meantime,

we're going to have a long siesta together

in the cool of my bedroom.

Mrs. goforth, I'm afraid it's too late

for me to accept your invitation to dinner.

Where else have you been invited?

Where else in the world?

I'm past the point where I wait for invitations.

But I think the spinster lady

whose mother died last night will make me welcome.

And how are you going to get there?

Can you walk on water?

Goodbye, Mrs. goforth

= Mr. flanders.

You have the distinction,

the dubious, the insulting distinction

of being the first man that ever, ever,

ever went from my bedroom without getting into my bed.

Oh bravo, hero Angelo.

Man bring this up mountain,

this, this insult?

I brought something up the mountain.

What else did man bring up mountain?

Oh, his book of poems.

His calling card.

You must be running out of them.

Well, take this back!

What did I bring up the mountain?

Up the goat path past the dogs?

I brought you this possibly timely piece of advice,

that tough as you are,

you're not so tough that one day, perhaps soon,

you're gonna need someone or something

that'll mean god to you,

if it's only a human hand or 2A human voice.

You came to bring me god, did you?

I said someone or something.

I heard what you said.

You said god.

My eyes may be out of focus but not my ears.

Bring him.

How do you do it, huh?

Do you whistle?

Do you ring a bell for him?

Or do you press buttons for him, huh?

Huh?

Can you hear me?

Can you still hear me?

Yes.

= I've failed.

I've disappointed some people in what they wanted from me

or thought that they wanted from me.

Sometimes I've been able to give them what they need

even when they didn't know what it was.

= rudi.

Rudi!

Your bodyguard's gone, Mrs. goforth.

= if ru...

All my important jewels are with me.

If rudi's gone, I want you to go.

You've tired me.

You've done me in.

This has been the most awful day of my life.

Yes, that's why you need me here.

No, don't.

You scare me.

Let me take you to your bedroom, Mrs. goforth

and I'll put you to bed.

No, no.

Go!

Let me go!

Hey.

Did somebody tell you I was dying this summer?

Did somebody tip you off that sissy goforth

was about to go forth this summer?

Yes.

That's why I came.

= well.

Well.

I've escorted six husbands

to the eternal threshold and come back alone without them.

Now it's my turn.

I've no choice but to do it,

but I want to do it alone.

Ti don't want to be escorted.

I want to go forth alone.

And you,

you counted on touching my heart

because you knew I was dying.

Well, you miscalculated with this one.

The milk train doesn't stop here anymore.

A paper Rose.

Before you go, would you help me up to my room?

Ti don't think I could make it alone.

Don't leave me alone.

Are you frightened of me or attracted to me or both?

Perhaps I should.

Yes, I will.

I'll tell you a story.

You know, you knew Sally Ferguson.

Well, I was staying in her mountain home

above palm Springs.

I wasn't used to her world,

the bloodless cold, cold elegant ritual of it.

So one day I went down the mountain,

across the desert to Baja California

where a great Indian teacher

had gathered disciples about him.

You look...

= t look forth.

Touchingly young, tired, sleepy.

Why don't you rest in my arms while I tell you

the rest of the story.

So I went down the mountain across the desert

to Baja California.

On the way there I passed a rest home for the incurably ill.

It looked more like a grand hotel,

royal palms, marble statues, fountains.

And a little further along I came to the ocean,

an inlet, an estuary of the ocean.

It was a boiling day.

The beach was deserted.

The water was cool.

I swam out,

lay on my back in the water.

Suddenly I heard someone crying from the shore.

T looked back.

It was no longer deserted.

There was an old man standing there

crying for help as if he were in the ocean

and I were on the shore.

Ti swam back fast.

He stood there, pitifully thin, finely dressed.

"Why did you call for help?” I said.

"Help me to get out there.

"I've gone past pain I can bear."

He stretched out a withered hand to me.

T took it and led him into the water.

As the water Rose higher, he panicked for a second

but I held him as tightly as a lover.

When the waves Rose to our shoulders,

he took out his wallet, took out the money,

and thrust it, much money, into my hands.

You took it?

Oh yes.

The sea had no use for it.

A wave broke over our heads and blinded me for a second.

When I was able to see again,

the tide had carried him out,

light as a leaf.

T went back to the hindu teacher

and I said, "master, I've just helped

"a dying old man to get through it."

And what he said to me was, "you have found your vocation."

And I gave him all the money the old man had given to me.

I'll bet you did.

Too tight.

Ah yes, yes, the ring cuts your finger.

Be here when I wake up?

Dr. luilo, your patient is

a bit weak.

Hurry up, play golf.

The shock of each moment,

of still being alive.

Boom.