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1
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:10,720
Do you know who this place
reminds me of? Daley Thompson.
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00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,279
Summer of 1980.
3
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,120
Daley Thompson got a gold
medal in Moscow.
4
00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:19,880
We got an airport in Broughty Ferry.
5
00:00:20,162 --> 00:00:21,542
And the boo boys didnae like
that.
6
00:00:21,601 --> 00:00:23,759
Och, the boo boys didnae like
anything.
7
00:00:23,760 --> 00:00:29,281
They said no-one would use
this place, but now... three flights a week to London!
8
00:00:29,282 --> 00:00:33,920
Twice a fortnight to
Manchester, and Belfast every other month!
9
00:00:33,921 --> 00:00:35,119
That shut them up.
10
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,121
Well, that's what we're faced
with, you see?
11
00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:41,480
When you show ambition in
Broughty Ferry, people drag ye down.
12
00:00:41,481 --> 00:00:44,439
I get it all the time
because of the extension.
13
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,799
People call me flashy or...
Arrogant.
14
00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:48,841
Too successful or...
Fantasist.
15
00:00:48,842 --> 00:00:51,200
Who called me that?
16
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,760
Oh! Oh!
17
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,761
Did you see that?
18
00:01:01,287 --> 00:01:05,163
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
19
00:01:10,441 --> 00:01:12,921
Hey, Georgie!
20
00:01:26,601 --> 00:01:30,240
I didn't think they'd be
so... young. Sexy.
21
00:01:30,241 --> 00:01:32,881
Young. No, no, yeah,
I meant to say young.
22
00:01:32,882 --> 00:01:36,761
Young's fine. Naive, no
experience.
23
00:01:38,401 --> 00:01:39,959
There's a lot of them,
though, Bob.
24
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:44,599
Ah, well, you take care of the
backing band, Frank. I'll take care of Elvis.
25
00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:45,921
Is that the Lady Provost?
26
00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:48,080
Oh, aye.
27
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:49,640
Mm.
28
00:01:49,641 --> 00:01:51,801
Showing off her special
necklace.
29
00:01:53,361 --> 00:01:55,201
Let's roll.
30
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:05,920
Nice and easy.
31
00:02:05,921 --> 00:02:08,321
You're just a man driving a
taxi.
32
00:02:19,641 --> 00:02:24,399
Have you ever tailed anyone
before, pal? We should be two cars back.
33
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,641
We should be using stolen
numberplates.
34
00:02:26,642 --> 00:02:28,841
That's bank robbers, Frank.
35
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:34,080
Have you not got a spare shirt?
36
00:02:34,081 --> 00:02:37,360
Why would I have a spare
shirt? Swap with him.
37
00:02:37,361 --> 00:02:40,239
Oh, Bob, no.
I don't think he'd be up for it.
38
00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:43,439
Of course he will.
It's all part of the service. On you go.
39
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:45,841
Er... excuse me.
We're not swapping shirts.
40
00:02:47,641 --> 00:02:50,401
This is what we're up against.
41
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,641
You're too close!
42
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:05,119
Are we ready to rock and roll?
Let's have a round of applause.
43
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,321
A round of applause for our
interns. Looks like a good atmosphere.
44
00:03:08,322 --> 00:03:10,640
Nuremberg had a good
atmosphere.
45
00:03:10,641 --> 00:03:12,959
Didnae have photocopiers
like that at Nuremberg.
46
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,359
Thank God for that. So, we've got
four weeks to go, he couldn't be in better hands.
47
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,641
We have faith in you.
We trust you. Just get it right.
48
00:03:18,642 --> 00:03:22,640
Right, OK, thank you so
much. Right, action stations.
49
00:03:22,641 --> 00:03:25,801
That's the independent
candidate. Hi. Can I help you?
50
00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:27,760
No.
51
00:03:27,761 --> 00:03:30,680
But I can help you.
52
00:03:30,681 --> 00:03:33,440
I'm Bob Servant.
53
00:03:33,441 --> 00:03:35,881
The independent candidate.
Lovely to meet you.
54
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,120
Oh, that's right.
55
00:03:37,121 --> 00:03:39,639
You're the, um...
you're the dog man, aren't you?
56
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,879
The dog man?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. That was...
57
00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,719
Well, you said you'd ban
dogs? Shoot dogs.
58
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:47,399
Broughty Ferry FM. Heh!
You know what they're like.
59
00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,441
Ha-ha. No, not really.
Bunch of shock jocks.
60
00:03:50,442 --> 00:03:52,480
Anyway...
61
00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:55,200
Who is this lovely young lady?
62
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:57,080
Phillippa Edwards.
63
00:03:57,081 --> 00:03:59,600
Nick's wife.
Oh, wonderful.
64
00:03:59,601 --> 00:04:02,520
Are you doing the
sandwiches? Er... no.
65
00:04:02,521 --> 00:04:05,159
I'm the campaign manager.
Oh, that's good of you.
66
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,039
I've been my husband's
political manager for ten years now.
67
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,879
Ah, no of fence, but it's
unusual
68
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,361
for powerful men
to take orders frae their wives.
69
00:04:12,362 --> 00:04:14,720
Er... Torvill and Dean?
Oh, Frank.
70
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:16,480
Frank, I mean,
71
00:04:16,481 --> 00:04:19,399
I know these two have been
putting up posters like they own the place,
72
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,759
but even they wouldn't be
arrogant enough to claim
73
00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:24,479
that they are the new Torvill
and Dean!
74
00:04:24,480 --> 00:04:26,921
That's not a claim we'll be
making.
75
00:04:26,922 --> 00:04:27,960
Good.
76
00:04:27,961 --> 00:04:31,640
And Frank's my campaign
manager. Ah.
77
00:04:31,641 --> 00:04:33,641
He's no' my wife, though.
Ha-ha-ha.
78
00:04:33,642 --> 00:04:36,681
He's no' married.
Through choice!
79
00:04:37,681 --> 00:04:41,600
Anyway, we just thought we'd
say... hello,
80
00:04:41,601 --> 00:04:45,560
and if you need any help,
I'm a big fish round here.
81
00:04:45,561 --> 00:04:47,321
I'm sure.
So...
82
00:04:49,081 --> 00:04:52,200
Welcome to Broughty Ferry.
83
00:04:52,201 --> 00:04:54,360
Welcome to politics.
84
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,800
Welcome...
85
00:04:55,801 --> 00:04:58,361
to Broughty Ferry.
86
00:04:59,401 --> 00:05:02,280
I'm doing the welcoming.
Right.
87
00:05:02,281 --> 00:05:04,481
That's the point here, I think.
All done!
88
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:08,359
Where are your campaign
offices? Bob's hoose.
89
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,079
No' in my hoose, in my
extension.
90
00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,599
And we'll be buying plenty of
this gear. Don't you worry about that. Ha-ha!
91
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,479
Well, I don't think
you'll need quite this much.
92
00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,641
Do you have local
volunteers? One.
93
00:05:18,642 --> 00:05:20,760
Only one?
Thousand.
94
00:05:20,761 --> 00:05:21,960
A thousand?
95
00:05:21,961 --> 00:05:25,480
Thereaboots. You know, up a
bit.
96
00:05:25,481 --> 00:05:28,760
So, we are going to need
plenty of this stuff.
97
00:05:28,761 --> 00:05:31,560
Well, now's your chance.
98
00:05:31,561 --> 00:05:35,081
Excuse me. I think this chap
would like to place an order.
99
00:05:35,082 --> 00:05:36,801
Fire away.
100
00:05:38,401 --> 00:05:43,561
Oh, well, I'll maybe, er... take
a couple of these, as you're here.
101
00:05:51,041 --> 00:05:52,479
You got anything bigger?
102
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,239
Bigger? No, that's an
industrial copier.
103
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,601
Well, I've seen bigger.
Where?
104
00:05:56,602 --> 00:05:57,721
Arbroath.
105
00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:01,400
Oh!
How much?
106
00:06:01,401 --> 00:06:03,761
Well, these guys are renting.
Renting?
107
00:06:03,762 --> 00:06:06,760
Ha-ha! Well, I'd be buying.
108
00:06:06,761 --> 00:06:08,560
I mean, I play for keeps.
109
00:06:08,561 --> 00:06:10,721
18 grand?
110
00:06:11,921 --> 00:06:16,401
Have you got a colour one?
Yeah, well, they're all colour, mate.
111
00:06:16,402 --> 00:06:18,601
There's a... Hey.
112
00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:26,360
Kind of buzzing.
113
00:06:26,361 --> 00:06:28,760
You know, I'm getting that.
114
00:06:28,761 --> 00:06:30,601
Really?
Oh, it's stopped now.
115
00:06:38,721 --> 00:06:40,361
OK.
116
00:06:42,081 --> 00:06:44,840
Awfy, awfy nice.
117
00:06:44,841 --> 00:06:46,720
Yeah.
118
00:06:46,721 --> 00:06:50,440
Oh, er... has it got the
internet?
119
00:06:50,441 --> 00:06:52,760
Well, no.
Oh, shame, pal.
120
00:06:52,761 --> 00:06:53,959
Better luck next time.
121
00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:56,641
We'd have bought twa,
if they were the right ones.
122
00:06:56,642 --> 00:06:59,441
I'm just sending you a message.
123
00:07:03,321 --> 00:07:05,361
Deep pockets.
124
00:07:06,681 --> 00:07:07,799
Message received.
125
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:11,159
Well, we have a very busy
afternoon with a lot of meetings, so...
126
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:15,801
Oh, I would no' like to think...
Ha! ...how many meetings I've got! Ha-ha-ha!
127
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,880
One.
128
00:07:17,881 --> 00:07:18,921
Thousand.
129
00:07:22,961 --> 00:07:25,640
Oh, here he is! Old Scrooge
himself.
130
00:07:25,641 --> 00:07:30,039
Mr Servant, I'm relieved to
see you. I've sent you a number of letters...
131
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,799
How's that wife of yours
doing? I'm divorced. You know that.
132
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,559
I know, just a bit of banter before
we start. Well, that's hardly what I would call banter.
133
00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:39,759
I've got three kids. All right.
Slept in my car for a month. Right.
134
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:43,599
Down to business. I'm gonnae
chuck a bit mair money at the campaign. Mr Servant...
135
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:47,119
And that cash I made when I
sold the vans, I'm gonnae throw it all in. Why not?
136
00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,039
Mr Servant, I've sent you
a number of letters
137
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,321
after I had a difficult
conversation on your behalf.
138
00:07:52,322 --> 00:07:53,960
Who with?
139
00:07:53,961 --> 00:07:56,161
With the Inland Revenue
about your tax...
140
00:07:56,162 --> 00:07:58,560
Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
141
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,359
I'll stop you there.
Sorry?
142
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,759
As you're well aware,
143
00:08:01,760 --> 00:08:06,279
I will not allow you to use
certain words in my presence for legal reasons.
144
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:10,479
I am aware of that, and I'm
also aware that this is why we're in this position!
145
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:15,159
If I don't hear them words then
I don't know about it and I'm legally protected!
146
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:20,561
As I've told you many times,
this is not the case! We have to able to discuss this.
147
00:08:20,562 --> 00:08:21,760
I don't want to.
148
00:08:21,761 --> 00:08:26,001
Do you want to go to prison?
149
00:08:32,041 --> 00:08:33,801
Fine. Fine!
150
00:08:36,481 --> 00:08:42,440
Let's say you were talking
to Daley Thompson... aboot biscuits.
151
00:08:42,441 --> 00:08:45,320
And perhaps... perhaps
152
00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:50,481
Daley Thompson thinks
I haven't sent him enough biscuits.
153
00:08:51,521 --> 00:08:53,760
Fine, I spoke to Daley Thompson
154
00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:58,680
and he says that there is a
shortfall in your biscuit contributions.
155
00:08:58,681 --> 00:09:02,161
Well, I respect Daley as an
athlete, but in this case he's talking bollocks.
156
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:06,080
Daley says that you have not
sent him enough biscuits
157
00:09:06,081 --> 00:09:09,200
in the last four consecutive
tax years.
158
00:09:09,201 --> 00:09:12,440
Er...
Biscuit years.
159
00:09:12,441 --> 00:09:16,000
He's worked out
how many biscuits you owe him.
160
00:09:16,001 --> 00:09:18,681
Oh, he has, has he?
Yes.
161
00:09:22,361 --> 00:09:24,681
That's what he's looking for.
162
00:09:26,041 --> 00:09:27,241
Sweet Jesus.
163
00:09:29,121 --> 00:09:31,201
Is that biscuits or pounds?
Pounds.
164
00:09:31,202 --> 00:09:33,600
It's pounds, right.
165
00:09:33,601 --> 00:09:36,201
Well, that's the last
of the cheeseburger money.
166
00:09:36,202 --> 00:09:37,480
Mr Servant.
167
00:09:37,481 --> 00:09:42,120
As your accountant,
I would probably advise you
168
00:09:42,121 --> 00:09:45,360
to spend as little as possible
169
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:48,801
on this... campaign.
170
00:09:50,001 --> 00:09:53,440
And I presume
that has come out of my fees?
171
00:09:53,441 --> 00:09:56,441
It's the Lady Provost's
dinner tonight. Did you get invited?
172
00:09:56,442 --> 00:09:57,961
I did.
173
00:10:02,921 --> 00:10:04,961
Is Daley Thompson going?
174
00:10:06,201 --> 00:10:08,680
You work your whole life.
175
00:10:08,681 --> 00:10:11,519
You sell thousands,
millions of cheeseburgers.
176
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,799
You make the people
of Broughty Ferry happy.
177
00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:16,961
And then the Government
pops up and says, "Oh, hello!
178
00:10:16,962 --> 00:10:18,200
"Hello!
179
00:10:18,201 --> 00:10:21,519
"You see when you made the
people happy by selling them cheeseburgers?
180
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:25,439
"Well, the money they gave
you for making them happy, that's actually ours.
181
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,319
"Even though they gave it to
you for the cheeseburgers,
182
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,799
"they're meant to give it to us
183
00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,359
"so would you kindly, you
know, sort of, you know, just pass the money along
184
00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:36,721
"but still give them the
cheeseburgers?"
185
00:10:36,722 --> 00:10:40,680
It doesn't add up, Bob.
It does not add up.
186
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:45,240
And again the Government
pops up and says, "Oh, hello! Hello!
187
00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:50,319
"Just to let you know that
once again you are not invited to the Provost's dinner.
188
00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:55,081
"But you see that guy who
slept in his car for a month when his wife left him?
189
00:10:55,082 --> 00:10:57,200
"He's invited."
190
00:10:57,201 --> 00:10:59,441
Un-fucking-believable!
191
00:11:00,441 --> 00:11:03,321
Here, Bob, my turn tae choose.
192
00:11:10,001 --> 00:11:11,961
Why do you
always bring me here, Frank?
193
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:13,360
It's so depressing.
194
00:11:13,361 --> 00:11:18,479
Because it's cheap, Bob, and
it sounds like we should be making sacrifices.
195
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,361
I'm sacrificing my dignity
coming into this place.
196
00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:23,040
Oh, here he is!
197
00:11:23,041 --> 00:11:25,401
How are you, Stewpot?
198
00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:27,760
No' too bad.
199
00:11:27,761 --> 00:11:30,240
Couple of pints, please.
200
00:11:30,241 --> 00:11:33,480
Aye.
201
00:11:33,481 --> 00:11:35,321
Best pint in Broughty Ferry!
202
00:11:39,721 --> 00:11:41,080
Have you, er...
203
00:11:41,081 --> 00:11:43,159
done the place up, Stewpot?
No.
204
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,719
It's looking good.
Oh, very good, very good.
205
00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,559
Oh, I love it in here. Love it!
206
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:52,001
It reminds me of that,
er... American TV show. Oh, you know the one. Er...
207
00:11:52,002 --> 00:11:54,960
? Where everybody knows
your nay-ay-ame
208
00:11:54,961 --> 00:11:57,480
? Ha-da diddle-la-pah
tee-tee-tee
209
00:11:57,481 --> 00:12:00,560
? Da-da diddle,
da-da-diddle... ?
210
00:12:00,561 --> 00:12:02,160
Er...
211
00:12:02,161 --> 00:12:04,400
? ...Knows your name. ?
212
00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:05,440
The Cosby Show.
213
00:12:05,441 --> 00:12:08,081
Cheers.
Cheers!
214
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:10,801
Got us oot of that one.
215
00:12:12,041 --> 00:12:14,200
Listen, Bob.
Improvisation.
216
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,440
Bob, what are we gonna dae,
217
00:12:16,441 --> 00:12:19,479
when the Edwards boy starts
throwing his money aboot?
218
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,161
Oh, it's no' aboot money,
Frank, it's aboot people.
219
00:12:22,162 --> 00:12:25,360
Well, then let's get oot there,
Bob.
220
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:29,039
You're the man with the ideas.
I mean, this lot need to hear that.
221
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,119
This lot? Never mind aboot
the punters!
222
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:33,119
Broughty Ferry's run by the
big fish.
223
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,199
Always has been, always will
be.
224
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:38,119
We want to get out there in
front of the movers and the shakers.
225
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,759
The Lady Provost? The
Provost's dinner?
226
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,961
That's where all the big fish'll
be.
227
00:12:42,962 --> 00:12:46,360
Well, then, let us go fishing.
228
00:12:46,361 --> 00:12:48,440
And we're no' invited.
229
00:12:48,441 --> 00:12:49,680
Frank.
230
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:54,521
When Jesus went to that
birthday party and turned the bread into wine,
231
00:12:54,522 --> 00:12:56,041
was he invited?
232
00:12:57,041 --> 00:13:00,441
Well, probably. I mean...
I mean, if he could dae that.
233
00:13:04,001 --> 00:13:06,240
This is appalling.
234
00:13:06,241 --> 00:13:10,120
Hello, love!
Bob Servant to see the Provost.
235
00:13:10,121 --> 00:13:12,081
I'm afraid the Lady Provost's
out for the day.
236
00:13:12,082 --> 00:13:13,720
Where?
237
00:13:13,721 --> 00:13:16,799
She has a lunch and then
she's reopening the harbour play park.
238
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:20,321
Another play park!
She must open aboot ten of them a year.
239
00:13:20,322 --> 00:13:22,200
She just likes the swings.
240
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,721
Where is she having lunch?
I can't give out that information.
241
00:13:24,722 --> 00:13:28,120
Sorry.
Hen, I'm standing in the by-election.
242
00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:30,841
Diplomatic immunity.
I'm sorry.
243
00:13:32,001 --> 00:13:35,800
I need to know where the
Provost is.
244
00:13:35,801 --> 00:13:38,681
It's about her son.
She doesn't have a son.
245
00:13:38,682 --> 00:13:42,361
That's what she thinks.
246
00:13:44,321 --> 00:13:47,200
Oh, I see. Talking about
boys?
247
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:48,800
Miss Edwards.
Ms.
248
00:13:48,801 --> 00:13:51,960
Your Holiness.
Hello, Mr Servant.
249
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:54,760
Well, I really should be
going. Rhona.
250
00:13:54,761 --> 00:13:57,360
Rhona, I need two minutes.
251
00:13:57,361 --> 00:13:59,241
Sorry, I've official business.
252
00:13:59,242 --> 00:14:00,760
Aye, on the swings?
253
00:14:00,761 --> 00:14:03,201
Nice to meet you.
Pleasure.
254
00:14:05,201 --> 00:14:07,360
That looked very cosy.
255
00:14:07,361 --> 00:14:09,120
Did it?
256
00:14:09,121 --> 00:14:11,960
My sources tell me...
257
00:14:11,961 --> 00:14:15,960
that she was at the airport this
morning.
258
00:14:15,961 --> 00:14:18,440
She welcomed us to Broughty
Ferry.
259
00:14:18,441 --> 00:14:21,319
I just met her to hand in
our election nomination forms.
260
00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:24,999
I'm sure your campaign
manager has already handed them in?
261
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,799
Don't have a go at him. He's
just started.
262
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,041
Where are your thousand
volunteers?
263
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,281
Lunch break.
264
00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:36,480
Hi, Bob.
265
00:14:36,481 --> 00:14:38,320
I see.
266
00:14:38,321 --> 00:14:41,881
You know, gentlemen, we
have come up against independent candidates before.
267
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,241
Not... like me.
268
00:14:45,241 --> 00:14:47,520
Just like you.
269
00:14:47,521 --> 00:14:50,160
They're always the same.
270
00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:53,439
Locals with a bit of a
reputation who fancy the spotlight.
271
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:54,919
And then along comes polling
day,
272
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,321
and they discover that they
haven't got quite as many friends as they thought.
273
00:14:58,322 --> 00:14:59,760
Then what happens?
274
00:14:59,761 --> 00:15:01,520
They're humiliated.
275
00:15:01,521 --> 00:15:03,440
Totally
276
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:05,881
and utterly humiliated.
277
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:12,080
Oh...
Frank, let's go to the play park.
278
00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:13,241
Right, Bob.
279
00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:16,879
I am very proud to be here
today to open this play park...
280
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:20,279
Ah, you give someone a
special necklace... and I'd especially like to thank...
281
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:24,401
The next thing you know,
they're walking round a play park like Mother Teresa.
282
00:15:24,402 --> 00:15:27,840
I would like to declare this
play park...
283
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:30,081
officially reopened.
284
00:15:31,481 --> 00:15:32,840
Thank you.
285
00:15:32,841 --> 00:15:35,519
You know, Frank, the
Provost's dinner...
286
00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:37,601
it's no' something
I've ever fancied going to.
287
00:15:37,602 --> 00:15:39,960
Well, you've never been
invited.
288
00:15:39,961 --> 00:15:44,041
Well, that's because they
probably think I'd turn it doon, and I usually would.
289
00:15:44,042 --> 00:15:49,920
But, you see, this year, Frank,
this year, I need in, I need in,
290
00:15:49,921 --> 00:15:53,160
because she is like...
291
00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,561
Willy Wonka.
292
00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:59,761
She looks at the people of
Broughty Ferry, and then she picks one.
293
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:02,961
And once you're picked, that's
you.
294
00:16:03,921 --> 00:16:05,879
Life will never be the same
again.
295
00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:07,841
Just like Willy Wonka in the
film.
296
00:16:07,842 --> 00:16:12,120
He looked at the people,
he picked that young boy,
297
00:16:12,121 --> 00:16:16,881
and then Wonka took that
lovely young boy and put him in golden underpants.
298
00:16:17,921 --> 00:16:20,801
And then Wonka led that boy
by the hand...
299
00:16:22,361 --> 00:16:24,439
and walked off into the disco.
300
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:27,199
No. Well, you know, Frank, you
know what? No, that's no'...
301
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,401
No, that's no' what happened
in the film, Bob.
302
00:16:29,402 --> 00:16:31,961
I'm going to the disco! Ha-ha!
303
00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,840
OK, big smile for me. OK.
304
00:16:35,841 --> 00:16:39,080
That's great.
Let me come to your dinner.
305
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,560
Firstly,
306
00:16:40,561 --> 00:16:43,879
I just heard you visited my
office and suggested I have an illegitimate child.
307
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,119
Smile for me.
That was Frank. I tried to stop him.
308
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,079
Secondly, the dinner is for those
who have enhanced the lives of the people of Broughty Ferry.
309
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:54,959
I'm a Broughty Ferry success story.
Success story! Selling unhealthy food from unregistered vans?
310
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:58,519
That's what the public
wanted. You ruined local health rates. Statistics.
311
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:01,159
You targeted children.
They targeted me!
312
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,679
You caused scurvy, Bob.
The two of you.
313
00:17:03,680 --> 00:17:06,679
Oh, come on, Rhona, come
on. Let me come. Please, Rhona. Rhona, please!
314
00:17:06,680 --> 00:17:09,961
Look, if you cause any
trouble, you're out straight away.
315
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,000
Deal.
316
00:17:11,001 --> 00:17:12,520
Big smile!
317
00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:15,241
And that, Frankie boy, is
politics.
318
00:17:20,121 --> 00:17:26,680
I've lived here all my life,
Frank, and this is my first Provost's dinner.
319
00:17:26,681 --> 00:17:30,121
I've been out in the cold for 58
years.
320
00:17:31,881 --> 00:17:35,561
How long was Mandela on
that island, before Geldof got him off?
321
00:17:35,562 --> 00:17:36,600
A fair while.
322
00:17:36,601 --> 00:17:38,959
Not 58 years, though?
Nowhere near.
323
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:41,721
Do you know what I mean?
And people bang on about his suffering.
324
00:17:41,722 --> 00:17:43,440
The Provost's dinner!
325
00:17:43,441 --> 00:17:45,801
Oh! That's gonnae be
something else!
326
00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:48,640
Oh, big names, big faces.
327
00:17:48,641 --> 00:17:51,040
Absolute A-list!
328
00:17:51,041 --> 00:17:53,641
And... you're looking good,
Bob.
329
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:58,561
I am, and you're not
far behind me, Francis.
330
00:18:00,321 --> 00:18:01,720
We're the Rat Pack.
331
00:18:01,721 --> 00:18:05,120
Ho-ho! Frank Sinatra!
Dean Martin!
332
00:18:05,121 --> 00:18:07,760
Steve Davis Junior. Ha-ha!
333
00:18:07,761 --> 00:18:09,641
Let's dance!
334
00:18:13,201 --> 00:18:14,801
Right, Frank!
335
00:18:16,321 --> 00:18:17,840
This is schmoozing.
336
00:18:17,841 --> 00:18:21,400
Schmoozing?
It's American for talking.
337
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:24,041
I want you to get in there
and work the room.
338
00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:32,760
Oh.
339
00:18:32,761 --> 00:18:34,361
Don't mind if I do.
340
00:18:36,441 --> 00:18:37,601
Lovely dress.
341
00:18:44,641 --> 00:18:46,960
Admiral.
Inspector.
342
00:18:46,961 --> 00:18:49,641
Listen, I'm doing a bit of
schmoozing here
343
00:18:49,642 --> 00:18:54,160
and I want you to know
if I'm elected then your job is safe.
344
00:18:54,161 --> 00:18:55,881
That would not be your
decision.
345
00:18:55,882 --> 00:18:57,880
Not officially.
Not at all.
346
00:18:57,881 --> 00:19:00,121
Glad to have your support.
You don't.
347
00:19:00,122 --> 00:19:02,201
Cheers.
348
00:19:10,321 --> 00:19:12,759
You're the big man frae the
hospital, aren't you?
349
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,241
I'm the Medical Director, yes.
350
00:19:14,242 --> 00:19:18,040
Ah. I've seen you in the
papers with the big cheques.
351
00:19:18,041 --> 00:19:20,039
Always glad to receive
a charitable donation.
352
00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:22,561
Oh, I know, I know. Listen,
listen here.
353
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:26,200
If I'm elected, I wouldnae kick
up a fuss
354
00:19:26,201 --> 00:19:30,760
if, you know, one of them big
cheques should go, you know...
355
00:19:30,761 --> 00:19:31,960
I don't follow.
356
00:19:31,961 --> 00:19:34,601
If one of them big cheques
should go, er...
357
00:19:40,761 --> 00:19:41,800
go missing.
358
00:19:41,801 --> 00:19:44,961
I find that extremely
offensive. Oh, so do I, Doc. So do I.
359
00:19:47,521 --> 00:19:50,681
Have you got, er...
360
00:19:54,761 --> 00:19:56,640
any brothers or sisters?
361
00:19:56,641 --> 00:19:58,481
I must just go and find my
wife.
362
00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,760
OK, fine.
363
00:20:00,761 --> 00:20:02,760
Ladies and gentlemen!
364
00:20:02,761 --> 00:20:06,441
Please take your seats,
and if I may, I'll just say a few words.
365
00:20:06,442 --> 00:20:09,001
Absolutely! Carry on, hen!
366
00:20:22,281 --> 00:20:24,479
Due to the past two
harsh winters,
367
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:28,039
some of our roads
have experienced extensive damage.
368
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:32,999
But I'm happy to say that
reconstruction work on this is nearly complete.
369
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,159
This year also showed
marked improvements
370
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:37,481
of the sewage systems
around the Ellieslea Road area.
371
00:20:37,482 --> 00:20:39,600
This is hopeless. Right.
372
00:20:39,601 --> 00:20:43,440
With regards to the new
leisure centre...
373
00:20:43,441 --> 00:20:45,240
this has now...
374
00:20:45,241 --> 00:20:47,720
OK! Well done. You had a go.
375
00:20:47,721 --> 00:20:49,841
I'm sorry?
Ah, well try again next year.
376
00:20:49,842 --> 00:20:51,840
Eh, Rhona, hen? Come on.
377
00:20:51,841 --> 00:20:53,959
Come on, folks, come on!
Let's gie her something.
378
00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:57,681
Come on! Let's give her something.
There you go. There you go, hen.
379
00:20:57,682 --> 00:20:59,240
Well done, well done.
380
00:20:59,241 --> 00:21:01,760
Right, I'd better rescue this.
381
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,720
Lock up your daughters.
382
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:05,800
Ladies and gentlemen!
383
00:21:05,801 --> 00:21:09,720
I want yous to forget aboot my
success
384
00:21:09,721 --> 00:21:12,480
and, if you can, my extension.
385
00:21:12,481 --> 00:21:14,760
Just see me for what I am.
386
00:21:14,761 --> 00:21:19,600
A local man who's worked
hard and has the hoose to show for it,
387
00:21:19,601 --> 00:21:24,240
and who is the only choice
for the Broughty Ferry by-election!
388
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,199
This Edwards guy looks
pretty impressive.
389
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,281
Oh, forget him.
I've heard he's got a big team.
390
00:21:29,282 --> 00:21:31,160
Well, I've seen bigger.
391
00:21:31,161 --> 00:21:33,560
Apparently they're very sexy.
392
00:21:33,561 --> 00:21:35,160
Who said that?
393
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,800
Frank.
394
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:39,439
Look, you lot don't know this
guy!
395
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,161
I could tell you things about
him you just wouldnae believe!
396
00:21:42,162 --> 00:21:45,760
Go on.
Oh, he's done awful stuff.
397
00:21:45,761 --> 00:21:47,281
Awful stuff. X-rated stuff.
398
00:21:47,282 --> 00:21:48,641
Such as?
399
00:21:49,641 --> 00:21:53,440
How about murder?
Is that bad enough for you?
400
00:21:53,441 --> 00:21:56,360
Sorry?
No' here, no' on your beat.
401
00:21:56,361 --> 00:21:57,840
On his holidays.
402
00:21:57,841 --> 00:22:00,120
I heard he was in Tenerife
403
00:22:00,121 --> 00:22:04,681
and a man laughed at his
jumper and he strangled him.
404
00:22:05,961 --> 00:22:07,401
Wi' the jumper.
405
00:22:08,481 --> 00:22:09,881
Sorry we're late, everybody.
406
00:22:13,121 --> 00:22:14,561
Sorry we're late, everybody!
407
00:22:14,562 --> 00:22:16,880
Er... Mr Edwards?
Yeah?
408
00:22:16,881 --> 00:22:18,721
Have you ever been to Tenerife?
409
00:22:18,722 --> 00:22:20,880
Tenerife?
410
00:22:20,881 --> 00:22:24,041
No, can't say I've had the
pleasure. Didn't think so.
411
00:22:26,201 --> 00:22:27,240
Rumours.
412
00:22:27,241 --> 00:22:29,159
Sorry, have I... disturbed
something?
413
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:31,359
Mr Servant was telling us a
story.
414
00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:33,439
No, no, no! No, I've done. I've
done.
415
00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:36,719
Well, perhaps I could say a
few words. Oh, haud on, haud on! I've still got the floor!
416
00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:40,601
We gave you a hearing, Mr
Servant! It's Mr Edwards's turn now.
417
00:22:47,201 --> 00:22:48,521
Ladies and gentlemen.
418
00:22:48,522 --> 00:22:54,400
My wife and I left England this
morning as dawn was breaking.
419
00:22:54,401 --> 00:22:59,480
We had no idea that we
would find ourselves in a place so charming,
420
00:22:59,481 --> 00:23:02,880
so hospitable and so beautiful.
421
00:23:02,881 --> 00:23:04,799
Christopher Columbus over
there.
422
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:07,481
Walking around... Brochty
Ferry today...
423
00:23:07,482 --> 00:23:10,320
Broughty Ferry.
..Broughty Ferry today,
424
00:23:10,321 --> 00:23:12,799
I was overcome with a...
a strange feeling of warmth.
425
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,801
Had you wet yourself?
Mr Servant!
426
00:23:14,802 --> 00:23:17,600
Teatime! Oh, here we go,
folks!
427
00:23:17,601 --> 00:23:19,761
Mr Edwards will continue
after dinner! Oh, look!
428
00:23:19,762 --> 00:23:23,560
It's salmon. Very boring, I'm
afraid.
429
00:23:23,561 --> 00:23:26,041
Here we go. Here we go,
folks. Tuck in.
430
00:23:26,042 --> 00:23:28,161
Could... Could I get a leg?
431
00:23:40,681 --> 00:23:43,560
We can't let him get this lot on
board.
432
00:23:43,561 --> 00:23:45,441
Follow my lead.
433
00:23:47,081 --> 00:23:49,440
You looking for the toilet?
I am.
434
00:23:49,441 --> 00:23:52,321
Let me help you there.
Thank you.
435
00:23:58,881 --> 00:24:01,321
Shawshanked!
436
00:24:22,401 --> 00:24:24,001
Enjoying the petite fours?
437
00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:39,559
Right, well, that's it, folks.
Looks like he's bottled it.
438
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:42,119
So, if you want an MP
who turns Shergar on you
439
00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,881
when the going gets tough...
440
00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:45,320
he's your man.
441
00:24:45,321 --> 00:24:48,640
But Bob Servant doesn't hide!
442
00:24:48,641 --> 00:24:49,721
Remember that.
443
00:24:51,801 --> 00:24:54,720
Well! That's us off!
444
00:24:54,721 --> 00:24:59,241
Thank you for having us.
The salmon was terrific!
445
00:25:01,081 --> 00:25:04,241
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
Looks like someone's had one too many.
446
00:25:04,242 --> 00:25:07,720
He locked me in the fucking
cupboard!
447
00:25:07,721 --> 00:25:12,041
Or I locked myself out of the
cupboard! Different ways of looking at it.
448
00:25:12,042 --> 00:25:14,360
We will crush you!
449
00:25:14,361 --> 00:25:15,879
You'd better have strong
fingers!
450
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,001
Mr Servant!
I think you should leave right now!
451
00:25:19,002 --> 00:25:22,280
Oh, I bet you do. I bet you do!
452
00:25:22,281 --> 00:25:24,599
That's just what you lot want,
isn't it?
453
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,561
Get me oot the door
so you can suck up to him?
454
00:25:26,562 --> 00:25:31,760
Why? Because he's got a
flashy poster and big photocopiers.
455
00:25:31,761 --> 00:25:34,519
Well, do you know
something? I don't need you lot!
456
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,239
I'm going out there!
To the man on the street!
457
00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:40,359
You know where you are
with the man on the street!
458
00:25:40,360 --> 00:25:42,841
On the street?
You listen to me, pal.
459
00:25:42,842 --> 00:25:46,480
You may have this lot
under your sexy spell,
460
00:25:46,481 --> 00:25:48,680
but I've spent 30 years
461
00:25:48,681 --> 00:25:51,081
selling cheeseburgers
to the people of Broughty Ferry.
462
00:25:51,082 --> 00:25:53,000
I know them inside out.
463
00:25:53,001 --> 00:25:55,681
And when she made me
put posters on my van
464
00:25:55,682 --> 00:26:00,520
saying that if people ate
too many cheeseburgers they might die,
465
00:26:00,521 --> 00:26:02,321
do you know what happened?!
466
00:26:03,321 --> 00:26:05,241
We sold more!
467
00:26:07,801 --> 00:26:09,441
Granted, a couple of people
did die
468
00:26:09,442 --> 00:26:13,000
but no-one... no-one
tells that lot what to do!
469
00:26:13,001 --> 00:26:16,240
So, pal, you keep the big fish!
470
00:26:16,241 --> 00:26:18,200
I'll hae the people!
471
00:26:18,201 --> 00:26:21,081
I'll have the people!
472
00:27:36,761 --> 00:27:37,801
Here we go, Frank.
473
00:27:37,802 --> 00:27:39,400
These are our people.
474
00:27:39,401 --> 00:27:41,601
Look at their wonderful little
faces.
475
00:27:41,602 --> 00:27:43,240
Absolutely.
476
00:27:43,241 --> 00:27:47,481
Ah, Edwards can keep the big
fish. I'll have this lot any time.
477
00:27:49,561 --> 00:27:52,241
I've got your vote, don't I,
Charlie?
478
00:27:53,281 --> 00:27:55,121
No' wearing his glasses.
479
00:27:55,146 --> 00:28:04,979
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
480
00:28:05,121 --> 00:28:07,320
Davie!
Bob.
481
00:28:07,321 --> 00:28:09,121
See the United score at the
weekend?
482
00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:11,400
No. What was it?
483
00:28:11,401 --> 00:28:12,521
Good to see you.
484
00:28:27,881 --> 00:28:30,161
All right, lads?
Just finished at the factory?
485
00:28:30,162 --> 00:28:31,360
Factory?
486
00:28:31,361 --> 00:28:34,000
Stewpot, get these boys a
drink.
487
00:28:34,001 --> 00:28:36,041
They deserve it. Salt of the
earth.
488
00:28:37,641 --> 00:28:38,880
On you?
489
00:28:38,881 --> 00:28:42,161
No, no.
Just get them a drink. It's your job.
490
00:28:42,211 --> 00:28:46,761
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