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1
00:00:05,483 --> 00:00:06,832
[gunshot]
2
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:09,009
[rapid gunfire]
3
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,410
[Mike]
97.1 The Ticket, Valenti
and Foster.
4
00:00:19,454 --> 00:00:21,325
Big game tomorrow T, downtown,
5
00:00:21,369 --> 00:00:23,588
your Lions take on
the mighty Packers
6
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:27,114
in what's sure to be another disappointing Thanksgiving day.
7
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,941
[Terry]
Come on, man,
you can't say that.
8
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,943
[Mike]
I can say it because
I'm not Helen Keller,
9
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,511
but who cares what I think,
let's go to the people.
10
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,600
248-539-9797...
11
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,254
[male #1]
Boys, tomorrow's Thanksgiving.
12
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:40,388
And let me just tell you,
I got a lot to be thankful for.
13
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,651
But God dammit, it all
starts with you guys.
14
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,088
So, if you'll indulge me
for just a moment,
15
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:47,656
this round's on me.
16
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:51,094
Charlie P., I've never come
across someone who inspires
17
00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:52,661
optimism the way you do.
18
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,750
Even though the Lions haven't
won a playoff game
19
00:00:54,793 --> 00:00:58,145
in a couple of decades, you
still bet your entire paycheck
20
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,016
every September that
they're gonna win it all.
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,279
This year is their year.
22
00:01:02,323 --> 00:01:04,238
-I can feel it.
-Stop right there.
23
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,718
In my opinion, they've got
a fistful of rings
24
00:01:06,762 --> 00:01:08,372
based on your support alone.
25
00:01:09,895 --> 00:01:11,288
America's Guest.
26
00:01:11,332 --> 00:01:13,856
Good times or bad,
you're always there.
27
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:16,206
Right there in that very
stool to lend an ear.
28
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,339
I don't think I've ever
worked a shift...
29
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,080
that you haven't been here for.
30
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:21,864
-So, thank you.
-There you go.
31
00:01:21,907 --> 00:01:24,084
[male #1]
For being someone that
I could depend on.
32
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:27,130
And Earl, I mean,
look at you, man.
33
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,220
I mean, no matter how bad
the economy gets,
34
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,874
you're always looking
for a better job.
35
00:01:31,917 --> 00:01:35,138
-I'm so proud to say that--
-Okay, okay, okay, enough.
36
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,487
I can't deal with this anymore.
37
00:01:36,531 --> 00:01:38,576
Are we at the same
fucking bar?
38
00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,274
This dummy's
a degenerate gambler
39
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:42,232
with debts
all over town.
40
00:01:42,276 --> 00:01:43,799
You know why they
call him America's Guest?
41
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:46,323
'Cause I don't think he's
paid for a drink in his life.
42
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:48,195
-It's true.
-And Earl's not looking through
43
00:01:48,238 --> 00:01:50,240
the Classifieds for a job,
44
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,242
he's looking for an escort.
45
00:01:52,286 --> 00:01:55,898
What do it mean when
she speaks Greek?
46
00:01:55,941 --> 00:01:57,943
Anal, for a fee, of course.
47
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,772
[Earl]
Oh, I got a credit card.
I'll pay for it.
48
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:03,253
I work at the plant, baby,
we got good benefits.
49
00:02:05,081 --> 00:02:08,432
Why you gotta do that? Why can't
you just see the good in people?
50
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,782
[America's Guest]
Yeah, why do you do that?
51
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:13,307
[male #2]
Oh, yeah, well, because
while everyone's busy blowing
52
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:15,352
sunshine up society's
collective ass,
53
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,137
it is my job to speak
the truth.
54
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:19,791
[Charlie P.]
Think it's your job
to be an asshole.
55
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:22,229
[male #1]
You may be right, C.P.
Sure, he's violent,
56
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:24,448
crass,
maybe even a little psychotic.
57
00:02:24,492 --> 00:02:26,755
Yes, he's an asshole,
but he's a lovable asshole.
58
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:29,192
-Where are you going with this?
-And ever since our freshman
59
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:31,107
year at St. Jude's,
he's been there for me.
60
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,891
[Charlie P.]
Oh, what happened?
61
00:02:32,935 --> 00:02:34,763
[male #1]
These four senior football
players tried to jump me.
62
00:02:34,806 --> 00:02:36,939
-What they come to you for?
-Look at him;
63
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:38,941
I didn't know
whether to save him or pile on.
64
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,508
[male #1]
It was some initiation thing.
65
00:02:40,551 --> 00:02:42,510
They were trying to stuff
me into a trash can.
66
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:44,599
Brad came from out of nowhere,
tackled two of them,
67
00:02:44,642 --> 00:02:47,558
they let go of me,
and they kicked his ass instead.
68
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:50,344
[laughing]
69
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,910
Got your ass kicked.
70
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:54,435
I would've taken 'em too, if it
wasn't for that 300 pound
71
00:02:54,478 --> 00:02:56,219
lineman they had sit on me.
72
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:58,265
[male #1]
Brad, he just finished
a 14-year career with Buffalo.
73
00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:01,355
-That's no excuse.
-Anyway, asshole aside,
74
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:05,359
he's our asshole because
he's got it where it counts.
75
00:03:05,402 --> 00:03:08,057
And I'm proud to call
this guy right here...
76
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,406
-my best friend.
-Give it up.
77
00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,712
Give it up for him.
78
00:03:10,755 --> 00:03:14,150
[clapping]
79
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:14,890
Come on, now.
80
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:20,374
Hey, that was really great,
okay, seriously,
81
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:22,114
what the fuck's gotten into you?
82
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,595
[male #1]
Truth be told, I finally
put together enough scratch
83
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,771
to put a down payment
on a condo.
84
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,034
And I'm gonna ask
Michelle to move in with me.
85
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,471
No, no, don't start that shit.
86
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,908
[male #1]
Brad, Brad, Brad!
87
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:35,432
What was our motto senior year?
88
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,826
-Kill those motherfuckers?
-No!
89
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:39,306
"The time is now."
90
00:03:39,349 --> 00:03:40,829
And the time is now.
91
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:43,701
-Buddy, she's the one.
-Yeah, but Kev,
92
00:03:43,745 --> 00:03:45,486
-I'm telling you--
-Will you please stop
93
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,750
worrying about me
for once, please?
94
00:03:48,793 --> 00:03:50,969
Let's talk about you,
what about that therapist?
95
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,319
It's not therapy, okay?
96
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,581
It's a fucking support group.
97
00:03:53,624 --> 00:03:55,147
-Get it right.
-Okay, well, how's it
98
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,323
going with that?
99
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:58,020
It's fine, I guess.
100
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,414
Look, I know I have a problem.
101
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:02,111
I'm a happily married man...
102
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:04,287
yet I'm stricken with this
great burden of being
103
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,202
arguably the horniest
man alive,
104
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,466
and I've found with a lot
of consultation
105
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,076
that I can look
at other women.
106
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,339
There's nothing
wrong with that.
107
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:14,645
-Nor should there be.
-That's right, man.
108
00:04:14,689 --> 00:04:18,040
What I can't wrap my head around
is why a hand job is cheating.
109
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,912
[Earl]
Because she got a gag ball
in her mouth and she squealing.
110
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:23,698
[Kevin]
Oh, boy, I...
111
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:26,135
[Brad]
I mean, take tigers for example,
king of the fucking jungle.
112
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:27,484
[Kevin]
That's lions, but okay.
113
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,530
[Brad]
Do they not fuck
whomever they want?
114
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,271
[Kevin]
Jesus Christ, Rachel,
are you ready?
115
00:04:31,314 --> 00:04:32,402
-Yeah.
-[clears throat]
116
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,058
[Brad]
Oh, yeah, have another.
117
00:04:36,101 --> 00:04:39,583
-Yup, I know my limit.
-Boys, look, I gotta go.
118
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:42,804
-What?
-I love every one of you.
119
00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:46,634
Thank you, and happy
Thanksgiving, guys.
120
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:47,939
[Brad]
No, this isn't over, buddy.
121
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,855
-Go get her, tiger.
-Kev! Come on!
122
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:54,903
[Charlie P.]
Hey, I'll get you
money next week.
123
00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:57,645
[Brad]
It's a holiday,
take an extra day.
124
00:04:57,688 --> 00:04:59,821
What the fuck are you
staring at, you dirty Mick.
125
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,824
You're seeing a shrink?!
126
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:05,914
[Brad]
Fuck you, I am not
seeing a shrink.
127
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,308
It is a supp--
it is a support group!
128
00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,919
[America's Guest]
Did you have to get
on the little couch?
129
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:14,009
[laughing]
130
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,619
Happy Thanksgiving to you.
131
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:17,317
Ya.
132
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:27,762
[uplifting music]
133
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,633
♪
134
00:05:29,677 --> 00:05:31,635
[male singer]
♪ I'm not dreaming away
135
00:05:33,550 --> 00:05:35,465
♪ I'm not fantasizing
136
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,426
♪ There's that thing
that's for sure ♪
137
00:05:39,469 --> 00:05:41,297
♪ That knock on the door
138
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,039
♪ That very look on that face
139
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:45,127
♪
140
00:05:45,170 --> 00:05:47,608
♪ They call it intuition
141
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,131
♪
142
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,089
♪ Oh, but there's only one
143
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,613
♪
144
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:54,702
♪ There's no thinking it out
145
00:05:54,745 --> 00:05:56,573
♪ No trace of a doubt
146
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,880
♪ I only know that I'm in
147
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,447
♪
148
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,798
♪ I get a feeling
and it wakes me ♪
149
00:06:03,841 --> 00:06:07,584
♪ Morning light that
she makes me ♪
150
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:12,981
♪ But knock on my heart,
save me one last time ♪
151
00:06:13,024 --> 00:06:18,769
♪ You open wide and let
it all begin ♪
152
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:19,770
♪
153
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:22,991
♪ Love's knocking on my door ♪
154
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:24,645
[moaning]
155
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:27,865
[soft quirky music]
156
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:30,302
[Michelle]
Oh, yeah, oh!
157
00:06:30,346 --> 00:06:31,478
Fuck me!
158
00:06:31,521 --> 00:06:35,351
[swing rock music]
159
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:45,535
♪
160
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:50,235
[glass breaks]
161
00:06:50,279 --> 00:07:00,420
♪
162
00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,557
[horn honks]
163
00:07:07,601 --> 00:07:11,387
[soft quirky music]
164
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:16,392
♪
165
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,045
[horn honks]
166
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:27,011
♪
167
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,801
-Call Michelle.
-Call Adele, calling.
168
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,760
-No, no, cancel.
-Cancel.
169
00:07:36,804 --> 00:07:40,895
-Call Michelle, mobile.
-Bob Hartzell, mobile, calling.
170
00:07:40,938 --> 00:07:43,985
-No, no, cancel.
-Make up your mind.
171
00:07:44,028 --> 00:07:47,075
Fuck you, I said
call Michelle!
172
00:07:47,118 --> 00:07:48,903
[automated voice]
Michelle, calling.
173
00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,035
[ringing]
174
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,951
[Michelle voice mail]
If I wanted to talk to you,
I would've answered, silly.
175
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,737
Text me, oh, and follow
me on Insta.
176
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,869
And remember,
Michelle loves ya.
177
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,145
[sighs]
178
00:08:48,789 --> 00:08:52,575
[upbeat pop music]
179
00:08:52,619 --> 00:09:02,716
♪
180
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:34,878
[bells ringing]
181
00:09:34,922 --> 00:09:37,577
[neighbor]
Hey, asshole, what
are you doing?
182
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,491
[sirens blaring]
183
00:09:39,535 --> 00:09:43,887
♪
184
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:49,937
[grunting]
185
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:56,378
[rock music]
186
00:09:56,421 --> 00:10:06,606
♪
187
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:13,090
What?! Look at that.
188
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:17,181
[echoes]
What?! Look at that.
189
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:20,968
[eerie music]
190
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,665
♪
191
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,145
You don't re-rack
your weights, huh?
192
00:10:24,188 --> 00:10:27,627
You stupid, smelly,
motherfucker!
193
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,019
Huh, you like how
that feels?
194
00:10:29,063 --> 00:10:30,891
You fucking piece of shit!
195
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,240
[cell phone rings]
196
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,722
[grunts]
197
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,816
What's up, bro?
198
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,600
See you in the steam room,
motherfuckers.
199
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,471
What?
200
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:50,258
[soft quirky music]
201
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:54,654
♪
202
00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:55,785
[buzzing]
203
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,395
[prisoner shouting]
204
00:10:57,439 --> 00:11:03,619
♪
205
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,925
First degree arson?
206
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,666
What are you,
14 years old?
207
00:11:07,928 --> 00:11:09,799
[Kevin]
I caught Michelle
cheating on me.
208
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,105
[Brad]
Oh, Kev.
209
00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,066
So that's why you lit
a trash can on fire?
210
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,938
[officer]
Was looking at
a class one felony
211
00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,114
if that trash hadn't burned
itself out.
212
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:21,898
[Brad]
Oh, he's sorry, Officer.
213
00:11:21,942 --> 00:11:24,422
Guy's always been a mess
when it comes to the ladies.
214
00:11:24,466 --> 00:11:25,902
I tried to say she was no good,
215
00:11:25,946 --> 00:11:27,425
but his nuts fell off
as I spoke.
216
00:11:27,469 --> 00:11:29,123
[officer]
Yeah, well, there ain't
nothing wrong
217
00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,909
with a little sensitivity;
we all go through that.
218
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:38,959
My ex left me... for
a Team Six SEAL back in '04.
219
00:11:39,002 --> 00:11:41,352
I cried like a bitch
for three days.
220
00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:45,748
Lost 15 pounds and listened
to sad music for a year.
221
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:48,316
[Brad]
That must've been tough fighting
crime with a broken heart.
222
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,145
[officer]
Heh, you have no idea.
223
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:52,320
Hey, sign here.
224
00:11:55,236 --> 00:11:58,021
Good news is that
life gets better.
225
00:11:58,065 --> 00:12:02,069
One day you wake up and suddenly
that pain is gone, you know?
226
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:04,985
Then you wonder why you
cared in the first place.
227
00:12:05,028 --> 00:12:08,858
Let's get you out of here,
I can't watch a cop cry.
228
00:12:08,902 --> 00:12:10,251
[thunder rumbling]
229
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,477
[Kevin]
How could she do this to us?
230
00:12:19,521 --> 00:12:23,133
We were so happy...
where did it all go wrong.
231
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,309
[Brad]
Dogs with big nuts should
have to wear underwear.
232
00:12:26,702 --> 00:12:27,311
Dude.
233
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:32,752
-Are you even listening to me?
-Yeah, bro, I've been
234
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:34,188
listening to you all day.
235
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,972
Kev, I know you're going
through some shit right now,
236
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,018
but I promise you're not
gonna feel this way forever.
237
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:41,021
-It sure as hell feels like it.
-Well, you need to go out,
238
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,936
you know, lay a couple of fours
and fives,
239
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,589
and work your way back up.
240
00:12:44,633 --> 00:12:46,287
As if that's gonna
solve anything.
241
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:48,463
It may not solve anything,
but it sure will feel good.
242
00:12:48,506 --> 00:12:50,030
Emotionless sex with
less attractive women
243
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:52,032
is going
to make me feel better?
244
00:12:52,075 --> 00:12:53,860
-I don't think so.
-Oh, are you kidding me?
245
00:12:53,903 --> 00:12:55,035
It's very liberating.
246
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,601
You could treat 'em
like farm animals.
247
00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:57,820
Take out all aggression on 'em.
248
00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:00,040
What do you think fours
and fives are for?
249
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,171
Yeah, I'm not into that.
250
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,173
[Brad]
Not into what? Farming?
251
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:04,479
[waiter]
What's up, Brad, Kev?
252
00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:06,046
You guys need anything else?
253
00:13:06,089 --> 00:13:08,135
[Brad]
Incidentally, Gus,
I'd like a saganaki.
254
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:10,224
[Gus]
You got it, princess.
255
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,878
[Brad]
Got any tzatziki back there?
256
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,272
Maybe I should call her.
257
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,797
Yeah, okay, for what,
to ask her how the sex was?
258
00:13:18,972 --> 00:13:21,888
Kev... listen.
259
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,063
We've known each other forever,
260
00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,629
and you know how much
I love you.
261
00:13:24,673 --> 00:13:26,631
So you understand
when I tell you that Michelle
262
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:29,852
was a piece of shit from day one
and you got a front row seat
263
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,114
to prove it.
264
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:33,943
Yeah. Yeah, I guess
you're right.
265
00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,599
How could I not have
seen this coming?
266
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:40,080
[Brad]
You didn't see it coming,
but you saw it when it came,
267
00:13:40,123 --> 00:13:41,690
-didn't you?
-Dude, does everything you say
268
00:13:41,733 --> 00:13:43,648
have to be so crass?
269
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,041
[Brad]
Truth hurts, pal.
270
00:13:45,085 --> 00:13:46,913
-Jesus.
-He can't save you
271
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,697
until you die,
so until then,
272
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:50,220
you should continue
to listen to me.
273
00:13:52,135 --> 00:13:55,225
Tomorrow's a new day,
a clean slate.
274
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,097
It will be fine, I promise.
275
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,144
[police sirens]
276
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,584
[mellow morose music]
277
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:16,551
♪
278
00:14:22,731 --> 00:14:26,474
[cell phone vibrating]
279
00:14:37,833 --> 00:14:41,576
[soft quirky music]
280
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:51,542
♪
281
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,641
[automated voice]
You have one unheard message.
282
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:06,688
First unheard message:
283
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:09,169
[Michelle's voice]
Where are you, sleepy head?
284
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,780
I'm so sorry to do this,
but I won't be able
285
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,347
to do our Thanksgiving tonight.
286
00:15:13,390 --> 00:15:16,524
-Something came up
-[spank]
-and ouch, stop it.
287
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:17,960
I've gotta babysit
the neighbor's dog,
288
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,354
so let's see each other
tomorrow?
289
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:21,442
Happy Thanksgi--
290
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:22,747
[automated voice]
Message deleted.
291
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:26,534
[upbeat music]
292
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:30,451
♪
293
00:15:30,494 --> 00:15:33,193
[Brad]
All right, since you're bound
to lose 10 or 15 pounds anyways,
294
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:35,021
you might as well take
advantage of it, okay?
295
00:15:35,064 --> 00:15:36,326
[weight lifter]
Come on! Hah!
296
00:15:38,763 --> 00:15:39,895
-Brad!
-Yeah?
297
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:40,983
-Brad?
-What?
298
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,419
[Kevin]
I need you.
299
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:46,206
[pop music]
300
00:15:46,249 --> 00:15:56,216
♪
301
00:16:03,614 --> 00:16:05,312
-Great spot.
-Yeah, of course.
302
00:16:07,227 --> 00:16:09,577
-You get any sleep last night?
-Yeah.
303
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,841
I guess.
304
00:16:12,884 --> 00:16:15,409
[Brad]
At least it was in your bed
and not the couch.
305
00:16:15,452 --> 00:16:18,238
-Thanks for that.
-Don't mention it.
306
00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:20,066
I've been thinking about
our conversation last night,
307
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:23,330
and... I really think it'd
help the healing process
308
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,027
if you started
to meet some women.
309
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:28,074
[Kevin]
I told you... can't think
about that shit right now.
310
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:32,034
[Brad]
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Kev, I get it, okay, but look.
311
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,557
Take her for instance.
312
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:36,952
She's kind of a dumpy broad,
but, you know,
313
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,214
I bet she'd be fun.
314
00:16:38,258 --> 00:16:39,824
-No thanks.
-No thanks, what?
315
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,044
I never said marry her, she's
probably dying to get laid.
316
00:16:42,088 --> 00:16:43,393
[Kevin]
Yeah, well, I'm not.
317
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,747
[Brad]
Oh, there she is.
318
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,097
Ass like an Irish setter.
319
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:52,359
[Kevin]
Who says that?
320
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,579
[Brad]
Hammer time!
321
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:57,103
[Hammer]
What's going on, man, you good?
322
00:16:57,146 --> 00:16:58,191
[Brad]
I'm great, man.
323
00:16:58,234 --> 00:16:59,409
Break anybody in half today?
324
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,150
[Hammer]
Oh, you know how I do.
325
00:17:01,194 --> 00:17:03,544
[Brad]
Hey, it's my buddy Kevin,
Kevin, this is the Hammer.
326
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,937
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
327
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:10,203
♪
328
00:17:10,246 --> 00:17:11,900
All right, dude,
good to see you, baby.
329
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,815
-Happy Thanksgiving, pal.
-Hey, you too, you too.
330
00:17:13,858 --> 00:17:15,295
-Calvin, pleasure.
-Kevin.
331
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,471
[Hammer]
Yeah, whatever.
332
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:20,126
Man, what's that guy, like
an MMA fighter or something?
333
00:17:20,169 --> 00:17:21,344
[Brad]
Neighborhood pharmacist.
334
00:17:21,388 --> 00:17:22,954
[Kevin]
Why do they call him the Hammer?
335
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,956
[Brad]
'Cause his dick's
bigger than your arm.
336
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:25,870
[woman laughs]
337
00:17:25,914 --> 00:17:27,002
[Hammer]
This is fantastic.
338
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,221
How do you do that again?
339
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:29,831
Oh yeah, that's it.
340
00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:32,399
[hum of blender]
341
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,231
So, how's Liz doing?
342
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:41,147
[Brad]
Liz is good, she's at home
right now fisting a turkey.
343
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:43,279
[Kevin]
She's awesome, man.
344
00:17:44,150 --> 00:17:45,542
You really hit the jackpot.
345
00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:49,285
So, what are you doing today?
346
00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:53,811
-Nothing.
-Why don't you come to my place?
347
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:58,686
-Thanks, but I'm good.
-What?! Come on.
348
00:17:58,729 --> 00:18:01,297
I'm just... I'm just
not in the mood.
349
00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:02,690
You're not in the mood?
350
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,213
You'd rather spend
Thanksgiving alone
351
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,346
in your apartment beating
off with tears in your eyes
352
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,782
than at your best
friend's house?
353
00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,871
I don't think that I'd
be much fun right now.
354
00:18:09,914 --> 00:18:12,613
[Brad]
Kevin, you, like, haven't
been much fun in a couple years.
355
00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:13,483
Just come over.
356
00:18:14,919 --> 00:18:16,182
All right, I'll think about it.
357
00:18:21,709 --> 00:18:23,493
[Brad]
Come on.
358
00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,800
You want some smoothie?
Just come over.
359
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,109
-Come over!
-All right, all right.
360
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,110
I'll come.
361
00:18:35,157 --> 00:18:36,158
Thank you.
362
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:39,988
[orchestral music]
363
00:18:40,031 --> 00:18:42,512
♪
364
00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:44,427
[grunting]
365
00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:50,346
Oh, that's the ticket.
366
00:18:50,390 --> 00:18:53,132
-Well, hello there.
-Hi, how was the gym?
367
00:18:54,045 --> 00:18:56,222
[Brad]
Gym was good, yeah.
368
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,615
-Honey...
-Yes, honey?
369
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,313
-Could you give me one second?
-For what?
370
00:19:00,356 --> 00:19:01,575
[Liz]
Hey now!
371
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:04,099
To get my hand
out of this turkey's ass?
372
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:05,492
[Brad]
That's my girl.
373
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,409
All right, guess who's
coming to dinner?
374
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:11,411
[Liz]
Sidney Poitier.
375
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:13,152
[Brad]
No, who the fuck is that?
376
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:15,589
[Liz]
Really, Brad?
377
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,286
-Kevin, I invited Kevin.
-Oh, fun! Oh, that's good.
378
00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:19,201
I haven't seen Kevin
and Michelle in a while.
379
00:19:19,245 --> 00:19:20,594
-That's great.
-Yeah, unless she's coming
380
00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:23,031
with somebody else,
she won't be attending.
381
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,337
[Liz]
They broke up?!
382
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,165
[Brad]
Sort of, she cheated,
383
00:19:26,208 --> 00:19:27,514
he saw it, he's crushed.
384
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:30,169
No, when did this happen?
385
00:19:30,212 --> 00:19:32,867
Yesterday mid-day.
386
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,522
Oh! My God, that's terrible.
387
00:19:35,565 --> 00:19:39,352
-Yeah.
-What a fucking slut.
388
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:41,223
[Brad]
I love it when you
talk that way.
389
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:43,791
[Liz]
Well, I'm glad you invited him,
he shouldn't be alone right now.
390
00:19:43,834 --> 00:19:46,446
Uncle Bruce and Aunt Marc and
Larry and Margret will be here.
391
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,274
And he'll have a good time.
392
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:50,493
[Brad]
Yeah, um, in other news...
393
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,366
could you do it for me?
394
00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,845
I don't have time for this.
395
00:19:54,889 --> 00:19:56,586
-Just, please, come on.
-I don't have time,
396
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:59,502
-I'm in the middle of cooking.
-Liz, it's once a year.
397
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:08,859
[humming, clapping]
398
00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:14,474
[soft quirky music]
399
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:24,484
♪
400
00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,836
[clears throat]
401
00:20:28,879 --> 00:20:38,846
♪
402
00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,528
[female pornstar]
Yeah, you like that?
403
00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:11,531
You like the way my
ass tastes, Paulo??
404
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,010
[Paulo]
No habla inglés.
405
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,795
[moaning]
406
00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:16,536
[female pornstar]
Oh, don't stop,
oh, fuck me.
407
00:21:16,579 --> 00:21:18,755
Oh, yes, fuck me,
fuck my ass.
408
00:21:18,799 --> 00:21:20,757
[moaning]
409
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:21,889
Fuck me!
410
00:21:21,932 --> 00:21:24,283
Oh, yeah, stick
your fingers in there.
411
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:25,327
Oh, give me your fingers.
412
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,285
Oh, fuck.
413
00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,374
Oh, God.
414
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:29,940
[moaning]
415
00:21:29,984 --> 00:21:31,377
Oh, oh, fuck me.
416
00:21:32,769 --> 00:21:35,294
Don't lick my ass anymore,
just fuck me!
417
00:21:35,337 --> 00:21:37,905
[groovy music]
418
00:21:37,948 --> 00:21:39,341
♪
419
00:21:39,385 --> 00:21:41,604
Fuck my ass,
fuck my ass, Paulo.
420
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:52,006
♪
421
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:55,314
[moaning]
422
00:21:55,357 --> 00:22:01,407
♪
423
00:22:01,450 --> 00:22:04,671
[cell phone vibrating]
424
00:22:11,895 --> 00:22:15,464
[moaning]
425
00:22:18,424 --> 00:22:20,513
-Kevin?
-Mom!
426
00:22:20,556 --> 00:22:24,343
[soft quirky music]
427
00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:33,352
♪
428
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:38,792
[loudspeaker]
Happy Thanksgiving,
Market Square shoppers.
429
00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:41,664
Flowers and select merch
are 30 percent off.
430
00:22:41,708 --> 00:22:44,667
Although, please note the store
will be closing in 20 minutes.
431
00:22:48,454 --> 00:22:52,632
[female singer]
♪ I know that look
of love becomes ♪
432
00:22:52,675 --> 00:22:56,157
[acoustic guitar music]
433
00:22:56,200 --> 00:23:00,379
♪ I know that look
of love becomes ♪
434
00:23:00,422 --> 00:23:03,730
♪
435
00:23:03,773 --> 00:23:09,649
♪ Something that tells me
in those eyes ♪
436
00:23:09,692 --> 00:23:11,477
♪
437
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:19,006
♪ So soft and lovely
are those eyes ♪
438
00:23:19,049 --> 00:23:22,792
♪ Come along,
then you're gone ♪
439
00:23:22,836 --> 00:23:26,666
♪ Still I long for the one
440
00:23:26,709 --> 00:23:30,496
♪ Come along,
then you're gone ♪
441
00:23:30,539 --> 00:23:33,890
♪ Still I long for the one ♪
442
00:23:35,892 --> 00:23:36,893
[clears throat]
443
00:23:39,156 --> 00:23:42,725
-Things get better, ya know?
-Excuse me?
444
00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:45,467
The weak grip
on the flowers,
445
00:23:45,511 --> 00:23:48,470
your slouched posture,
your head hanging low,
446
00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:51,168
it screams heartbreak.
447
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:53,823
-It's that obvious, huh?
-Might as well be carrying
448
00:23:53,867 --> 00:23:55,912
around a jar with
your nuts in it.
449
00:23:57,871 --> 00:23:59,873
[cashier]
I can take you over here.
450
00:24:01,396 --> 00:24:03,442
-Thanks.
-Yeah, okay.
451
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:04,704
-Think about it.
-Be nice.
452
00:24:04,747 --> 00:24:06,053
-Hang in there.
-Thanks.
453
00:24:06,096 --> 00:24:07,750
[shopper]
It's gonna be all right.
454
00:24:07,794 --> 00:24:08,969
[cashier]
Here we go.
455
00:24:10,927 --> 00:24:11,972
ID please.
456
00:24:16,019 --> 00:24:18,674
Thank you... Kevin.
457
00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:25,942
So, any exciting plans
for "we stole your land" day?
458
00:24:25,986 --> 00:24:27,683
[Brad]
I'm just going to
my friend's house.
459
00:24:27,727 --> 00:24:29,729
[cashier]
Mm, sounds fun!
460
00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:32,427
Flowers for the lady, I assume?
461
00:24:32,471 --> 00:24:35,343
Uh, no, never assume,
actually.
462
00:24:35,386 --> 00:24:37,084
Really? Hi.
463
00:24:37,127 --> 00:24:38,912
No, no, no, they're
for my friend's wife.
464
00:24:38,955 --> 00:24:41,828
-Oh!
-Yeah, that's--I'm not.
465
00:24:41,871 --> 00:24:44,700
[cashier]
I mean, a handsome guy
like you come in here
466
00:24:44,744 --> 00:24:46,746
-looking at me.
-How about you two queens
467
00:24:46,789 --> 00:24:48,182
exchange numbers and move on?
468
00:24:48,225 --> 00:24:50,576
-I got places to be.
-Easy Sons of Anarchy.
469
00:24:50,619 --> 00:24:52,491
We are finishing up.
470
00:24:54,014 --> 00:24:55,711
$19.95, please.
471
00:24:59,759 --> 00:25:01,543
-[inaudible]
-Want change?
472
00:25:02,805 --> 00:25:05,155
-Keep it.
-Okay, handsome.
473
00:25:05,199 --> 00:25:07,070
-Have a good Thanksgiving.
-You too.
474
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:11,205
You're such a bitch
sometimes, Harvey.
475
00:25:11,248 --> 00:25:13,033
-I'm a bitch?
-Yes, you're a bitch.
476
00:25:13,076 --> 00:25:14,643
What happened last night,
you were supposed
477
00:25:14,687 --> 00:25:16,558
to call me at 8:00
and you didn't.
478
00:25:16,602 --> 00:25:19,039
My phone died. Sorry.
479
00:25:19,082 --> 00:25:21,607
I told you not to call
me Harvey in public.
480
00:25:21,650 --> 00:25:24,392
-It's Beast.
-Beast?
481
00:25:24,435 --> 00:25:25,915
I'm not a princess.
482
00:25:27,177 --> 00:25:30,964
[soft quirky music]
483
00:25:31,007 --> 00:25:33,053
♪
484
00:25:33,096 --> 00:25:34,141
[doorbell chimes]
485
00:25:34,184 --> 00:25:41,670
♪
486
00:25:41,714 --> 00:25:43,846
-Kev, hey!
-Hey.
487
00:25:43,890 --> 00:25:45,674
[Liz]
Come here. How are you?
488
00:25:45,718 --> 00:25:49,199
Oh, we are--we are
so glad you came.
489
00:25:52,289 --> 00:25:54,553
-Um, where should I put this?
-Yes, ah, they're beautiful!
490
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,815
Thank you,
thank you so much.
491
00:25:55,858 --> 00:25:57,947
Uh, Brad, Kevin's here!
492
00:25:59,645 --> 00:26:01,211
-There he is.
-Here he is.
493
00:26:03,213 --> 00:26:05,868
-So, what now?
-Well, it's Thanksgiving.
494
00:26:05,912 --> 00:26:07,870
Let's go in the kitchen,
act like we're helping Liz,
495
00:26:07,914 --> 00:26:10,438
she'll kick us out, we'll be
watching the game in no time.
496
00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:12,179
[Kevin]
Sounds good. Um, hey...
497
00:26:12,222 --> 00:26:14,616
So, I was thinking about
calling Michelle.
498
00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:16,618
You know, maybe she just
had a bad moment.
499
00:26:17,619 --> 00:26:19,012
[Brad]
A bad moment?
500
00:26:19,055 --> 00:26:21,101
You call getting popped
in the ass on the same couch
501
00:26:21,144 --> 00:26:24,104
you two used to cuddle on...
a bad moment?
502
00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:27,847
[Kevin]
I'm sorry, you're right.
503
00:26:27,890 --> 00:26:30,023
[Brad]
Larry and Margret
should be here soon.
504
00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:32,721
-Who's Margret?
-Girl he's been banging,
505
00:26:32,765 --> 00:26:35,202
says he really likes her.
506
00:26:35,245 --> 00:26:39,075
-Good, good for him.
-"Good, good for him,"
507
00:26:39,119 --> 00:26:42,252
don't give me that gloomy
Gus shit, come on, man!
508
00:26:42,296 --> 00:26:44,428
A lot of guys would kill
to be in your position.
509
00:26:44,472 --> 00:26:46,213
[Kevin]
What? Seeing their
girlfriend bent over
510
00:26:46,256 --> 00:26:47,867
with another guy? Right.
511
00:26:47,910 --> 00:26:50,217
[Brad]
No, I'm talking about
being good looking, single,
512
00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:51,566
and living in America.
513
00:26:51,610 --> 00:26:53,307
-[doorbell chimes]
-Hi, hi guys!
514
00:26:53,350 --> 00:26:56,397
-Happy Turkey Day!
-Hi, Lar, how are you?
515
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,182
-Hi, um...
-Margret. So nice to meet you.
516
00:26:59,226 --> 00:27:01,315
Thank you so much
for having me.
517
00:27:01,358 --> 00:27:02,969
You have such a lovely home.
518
00:27:03,012 --> 00:27:05,406
-You're so beautiful.
-Thank you, thank you. Welcome.
519
00:27:05,449 --> 00:27:07,626
-Where are the guys?
-Brad and Kevin are in
520
00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:09,758
the kitchen pretending
to help out.
521
00:27:09,802 --> 00:27:12,718
Uh, go ahead, grab a drink,
I will be right there.
522
00:27:12,761 --> 00:27:14,241
Do you have any idea what
would've happened
523
00:27:14,284 --> 00:27:16,460
if this shit went down
in Qatar?
524
00:27:16,504 --> 00:27:19,333
You'd be riding through the
desert in tears on your camel,
525
00:27:19,376 --> 00:27:21,727
and she'd be getting stoned
to death in the town square.
526
00:27:21,770 --> 00:27:23,250
[Larry]
Hey, hey!
527
00:27:23,293 --> 00:27:25,687
-What's up, bro?
-Good to see you, Brad!
528
00:27:25,731 --> 00:27:26,906
-You too, man.
-Yeah!
529
00:27:26,949 --> 00:27:29,082
Hey, Kev, how you doing, man?
530
00:27:29,125 --> 00:27:30,170
I'm--I'm good.
531
00:27:32,302 --> 00:27:33,652
I'm okay, man, you know?
532
00:27:33,695 --> 00:27:34,827
[Larry]
You sure about that, man?
533
00:27:34,870 --> 00:27:36,655
Your energy feels
a little off.
534
00:27:38,134 --> 00:27:39,745
-I'm all right.
-His girl got mid-day cock
535
00:27:39,788 --> 00:27:41,355
from another man,
but he's on the mend.
536
00:27:41,398 --> 00:27:43,836
[Larry]
Oh, no, in the middle
of the day?
537
00:27:43,879 --> 00:27:46,055
[Margret]
So sorry.
538
00:27:46,099 --> 00:27:47,666
[Kevin]
Let's talk about something else.
539
00:27:50,146 --> 00:27:54,237
[Larry]
Oh, this is Margret.
540
00:27:54,281 --> 00:27:57,110
Margret, this is Brad
and Kevin.
541
00:27:57,153 --> 00:27:59,025
[Margret]
It is so nice to meet you.
542
00:27:59,068 --> 00:28:00,766
I've heard so much about you.
543
00:28:00,809 --> 00:28:04,204
So handsome, yet so debonair.
544
00:28:04,247 --> 00:28:05,901
[Brad]
It's really nice
to meet you too.
545
00:28:05,945 --> 00:28:07,163
[Margret]
Thank you!
546
00:28:07,207 --> 00:28:08,643
[Brad]
What the fuck does
debonair mean?
547
00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,776
[Bruce]
Hello!
548
00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:12,516
[Brad]
Oh, shit, ladies, welcome.
549
00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,388
[Marc]
Did someone say
"gobble, gobble"?
550
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:16,651
-I think you've gobbled enough.
-Cute, Brad.
551
00:28:16,695 --> 00:28:19,175
-Thank you for having us.
-Hey, Bradley, where's Liz?
552
00:28:19,219 --> 00:28:20,960
I wanna show her something
with the turkey
553
00:28:21,003 --> 00:28:22,483
that I saw on The Chew
this morning.
554
00:28:22,526 --> 00:28:24,746
[Bruce]
Will you stop it?
Not even here a minute
555
00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,966
and he's already trying
to change things.
556
00:28:27,009 --> 00:28:28,968
[Marc]
Hey, I'm Marc,
nice to meet you.
557
00:28:29,011 --> 00:28:30,752
-Margret!
-Oh, that's funny.
558
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:32,972
Hi, Marc. Oh, Bradley!
559
00:28:33,015 --> 00:28:36,932
[mixed conversation]
560
00:28:36,976 --> 00:28:39,543
[Liz]
Okay, hey! All right.
561
00:28:39,587 --> 00:28:41,154
-Out of my kitchen.
-Oh!
562
00:28:41,197 --> 00:28:43,330
[Brad]
What'd I tell you?
Let's watch the game.
563
00:28:49,336 --> 00:28:51,730
Okay! Let's put this...
564
00:28:53,862 --> 00:28:56,082
She's heavy.
565
00:28:56,125 --> 00:28:59,172
-Wow, this looks amazing.
-Thank you, thank you.
566
00:28:59,215 --> 00:29:01,304
-Okay, who wants to say grace?
-I'll do it!
567
00:29:01,348 --> 00:29:04,177
[Bruce]
Wow, nobody's that
quick on the draw.
568
00:29:04,220 --> 00:29:08,007
-She loves to say grace.
-It's true, I do.
569
00:29:08,050 --> 00:29:10,400
I used to always say
grace for dinner
570
00:29:10,444 --> 00:29:12,098
back in Iowa.
571
00:29:12,141 --> 00:29:14,361
-Oh.
-Iowa? No kidding.
572
00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:16,232
[Brad]
All right, let's go,
grace it up.
573
00:29:17,233 --> 00:29:19,279
[Liz]
Oh, just gonna do that.
574
00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:21,847
[Marc]
We're doing it.
575
00:29:27,853 --> 00:29:32,901
Dear Lord, we gather
here today grateful.
576
00:29:32,945 --> 00:29:37,819
Grateful for love,
and life, and nature.
577
00:29:37,863 --> 00:29:39,908
Thank you for protecting us,
578
00:29:39,952 --> 00:29:45,087
and keeping us safe
from criminals and diseases,
579
00:29:45,131 --> 00:29:49,831
and for giving us the gift
of our sexuality.
580
00:29:49,875 --> 00:29:51,441
[Brad]
Are you fucking kidding me?
581
00:29:51,485 --> 00:29:55,358
[Margret]
I want to thank you on a
personal note for Larry.
582
00:29:56,446 --> 00:29:58,361
I love him so much.
583
00:29:58,405 --> 00:30:01,712
And I can't wait to show
him just how much again
584
00:30:01,756 --> 00:30:03,105
later on tonight.
585
00:30:04,890 --> 00:30:05,847
[Liz]
Oh.
586
00:30:07,457 --> 00:30:08,197
[clearing throat]
587
00:30:11,897 --> 00:30:12,941
[Margret]
And then...
588
00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:19,078
Um, I want to thank you
for Liz and Brad.
589
00:30:19,121 --> 00:30:20,340
If it wasn't for them,
590
00:30:20,383 --> 00:30:22,821
we wouldn't have left
the house this week.
591
00:30:22,864 --> 00:30:24,997
And for Bruce and Marc.
592
00:30:26,172 --> 00:30:30,132
Even though they're gay,
they are so sweet.
593
00:30:30,176 --> 00:30:32,004
And that's all we can
ask for nowadays.
594
00:30:33,396 --> 00:30:35,485
And thank you for Kevin.
595
00:30:38,532 --> 00:30:39,315
He seems nice.
596
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:43,450
In the Lord's name, we pray.
597
00:30:43,493 --> 00:30:44,581
[everyone]
Amen!
598
00:30:46,018 --> 00:30:47,715
That was so beautiful, baby.
599
00:30:47,758 --> 00:30:50,022
[Brad]
Yeah, that was
really something.
600
00:30:50,065 --> 00:30:51,284
Pass the fucking beans.
601
00:30:51,327 --> 00:30:52,720
[Liz]
Cheers, everyone!
602
00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:54,461
[Bruce]
Ah, cheers.
603
00:30:54,504 --> 00:30:55,505
Happy Thanksgiving.
604
00:30:55,549 --> 00:30:58,030
[indistinct chatter]
605
00:30:58,073 --> 00:31:00,641
[bright orchestral music]
606
00:31:00,684 --> 00:31:11,652
♪
607
00:31:11,695 --> 00:31:14,176
[Brad]
Do you want a drumstick,
take a bite, take a bite!
608
00:31:14,220 --> 00:31:16,048
[Marc]
Oh, Roman times!
609
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:18,572
I don't want that.
610
00:31:20,617 --> 00:31:21,749
[Liz]
Stop.
611
00:31:21,792 --> 00:31:25,318
♪
612
00:31:25,361 --> 00:31:26,754
[laughing]
613
00:31:26,797 --> 00:31:30,192
♪
614
00:31:30,236 --> 00:31:32,499
[Marc]
Mannequin is one of
my favorite movies.
615
00:31:32,542 --> 00:31:33,717
Mannequin one, not two.
616
00:31:33,761 --> 00:31:36,329
♪
617
00:31:36,372 --> 00:31:37,678
[singing]
618
00:31:37,721 --> 00:31:38,766
Oh, my God.
619
00:31:38,809 --> 00:31:41,334
♪
620
00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:43,597
[Marc]
"Oh, guys, I'm Margret, blah."
621
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,469
[Bruce]
All right, get off now,
you're embarrassing me.
622
00:31:46,513 --> 00:31:48,341
[Marc]
I'm just trying to have fun.
623
00:31:48,384 --> 00:31:50,517
♪
624
00:31:50,560 --> 00:31:52,823
Okay, by the way,
I hate to bring it up...
625
00:31:52,867 --> 00:31:55,957
♪
626
00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:59,830
-Oh, stop it.
-No, don't tell me to stop it.
627
00:31:59,874 --> 00:32:01,876
[Liz]
Take our picture,
do you have your phone?
628
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,357
♪
629
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,533
[Marc]
Guys, by the way,
cute couple picture.
630
00:32:06,576 --> 00:32:08,883
-Chin down.
-Ugh, Kevin, you're so sweet.
631
00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,667
Why are you still single?
632
00:32:10,711 --> 00:32:12,495
Higher up, though, higher up.
633
00:32:12,539 --> 00:32:14,367
Angle from higher up.
634
00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:15,498
Higher up!
635
00:32:16,586 --> 00:32:19,502
[camera shutter clicking]
636
00:32:19,546 --> 00:32:21,591
[laughing]
637
00:32:23,463 --> 00:32:25,987
[Larry]
Bruce, could you put a little
more corn pudding on there?
638
00:32:26,031 --> 00:32:27,684
[Bruce]
Unbelievable.
639
00:32:27,728 --> 00:32:31,166
You straight guys eat
as much as you want.
640
00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:34,213
Us gay boys are always
watching our figures.
641
00:32:34,256 --> 00:32:35,605
Bulimia.
642
00:32:35,649 --> 00:32:38,173
It's 'cause size doesn't
matter to us, right, Kev?
643
00:32:38,217 --> 00:32:40,480
[Marc]
Oh, that's what Liz said.
644
00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:42,351
[laughing]
645
00:32:42,395 --> 00:32:44,049
-He's lying.
-But you did.
646
00:32:44,092 --> 00:32:46,790
-Where's the bathroom?
-Oh, I'll show you.
647
00:32:46,834 --> 00:32:47,966
It's right this way.
648
00:32:49,968 --> 00:32:52,274
[Marc]
Hug the wall, sweetie,
hug the wall.
649
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:53,406
[Kevin]
So, Lar...
650
00:32:54,711 --> 00:32:57,758
-When did you guys meet?
-A couple of weeks ago.
651
00:32:57,801 --> 00:32:59,760
[Marc]
Wow, that's fast.
652
00:32:59,803 --> 00:33:02,328
[Larry]
What can I say,
man, she's great.
653
00:33:02,371 --> 00:33:06,506
I mean, when I first
met Margret... I just knew.
654
00:33:08,638 --> 00:33:09,596
[Marc]
Knew what?
655
00:33:10,814 --> 00:33:11,990
You're beautiful.
656
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:14,427
You're capable.
657
00:33:16,907 --> 00:33:18,344
You're sexy.
658
00:33:18,387 --> 00:33:20,911
[Kevin]
She seems so family-oriented.
659
00:33:20,955 --> 00:33:22,043
[sniffing]
660
00:33:27,309 --> 00:33:29,485
[Larry]
Yeah, I mean,
she's gonna make a great mom
661
00:33:29,529 --> 00:33:31,270
one of these days.
662
00:33:31,313 --> 00:33:32,010
Ha!
663
00:33:35,491 --> 00:33:37,319
I would make love
to both of you.
664
00:33:38,929 --> 00:33:40,888
[Larry]
She's amazing in bed.
665
00:33:40,931 --> 00:33:43,891
-Oh, nice.
-Wow.
666
00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:45,414
[Marc]
Not nothing.
667
00:33:45,458 --> 00:33:47,155
[humming]
668
00:33:47,199 --> 00:33:48,200
[cell phone dings]
669
00:33:50,506 --> 00:33:53,118
Motherfucker!
670
00:33:54,293 --> 00:33:55,250
[Kevin]
Good for you.
671
00:33:55,294 --> 00:33:57,470
[Brad]
Oh, you, with this shit.
672
00:33:57,513 --> 00:33:59,950
[Larry]
You never know, Kev,
I mean, things may end up
673
00:33:59,994 --> 00:34:02,170
working out between
you and your ex.
674
00:34:02,214 --> 00:34:04,477
[Kevin]
Yeah, yeah, you never know.
675
00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:06,087
Listen, motherfucker,
it's over.
676
00:34:06,131 --> 00:34:08,089
-Brad?
-What?
677
00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:09,264
[Kevin]
No, he's right.
678
00:34:10,178 --> 00:34:11,701
It's pretty over.
679
00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:13,225
[Bruce]
Oh, baby.
680
00:34:13,268 --> 00:34:15,314
There are women lined up
around the block
681
00:34:15,357 --> 00:34:17,359
for a handsome guy like you.
682
00:34:17,403 --> 00:34:18,882
[Marc]
Men, too.
683
00:34:18,926 --> 00:34:20,493
It's okay.
684
00:34:20,536 --> 00:34:22,625
[Kevin]
Yeah, what is with you guys
685
00:34:22,669 --> 00:34:23,800
and the word "handsome"?
686
00:34:23,844 --> 00:34:25,672
[Larry]
When exactly did
things go wrong?
687
00:34:25,715 --> 00:34:28,196
[Brad]
When he asked for
her phone number.
688
00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:30,633
It's called a one-night
stand for a reason.
689
00:34:30,677 --> 00:34:32,461
-Oh.
-Oh.
690
00:34:35,160 --> 00:34:37,466
[Margret]
Guys, I can't believe it.
691
00:34:37,510 --> 00:34:41,340
My ex posted nude pics of
me on mysluttyex.org.
692
00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:43,037
-Oh, my God.
-Really?
693
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:44,430
[Bruce]
Everyone's gonna
see you naked.
694
00:34:44,473 --> 00:34:46,127
Not a big deal,
just my boobs.
695
00:34:46,171 --> 00:34:47,737
-That's the spirit.
-Yeah, yeah,
696
00:34:47,781 --> 00:34:49,130
I'm proud of my breasts.
697
00:34:49,174 --> 00:34:50,827
[Brad]
You should be,
here's to them.
698
00:34:50,871 --> 00:34:53,265
[Margret]
They're a supple reminder
of my sexuality.
699
00:34:54,396 --> 00:34:55,397
Want to see, Brad?
700
00:34:55,441 --> 00:34:57,095
[Brad]
It's fine, it's fine.
701
00:35:01,011 --> 00:35:03,405
Thank you for that.
702
00:35:03,449 --> 00:35:05,146
[Liz]
Margret, would you
like more wine?
703
00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:06,887
[everyone]
No!
704
00:35:06,930 --> 00:35:11,152
Oh, okay, well, I'll get--
I'll get dessert started.
705
00:35:12,806 --> 00:35:14,286
[cheering]
706
00:35:14,329 --> 00:35:16,375
[male announcer]
So AJ Brock is
now on the bench.
707
00:35:16,418 --> 00:35:18,638
We heard that he was
iffy coming back.
708
00:35:18,681 --> 00:35:21,902
And it's Franco and
DJ Smith in the middle.
709
00:35:21,945 --> 00:35:23,425
And this one's picked.
710
00:35:24,948 --> 00:35:27,081
[laughing]
711
00:35:27,125 --> 00:35:28,213
[male announcers]
Same old Lions.
712
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:30,215
-This game sucks.
-Yeah.
713
00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:31,607
I can't even remember
the last time
714
00:35:31,651 --> 00:35:33,522
the Lions actually
won on Thanksgiving.
715
00:35:33,566 --> 00:35:36,221
[Larry]
Hey, man, Lions on
Thanksgiving is tradition.
716
00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:38,005
[Brad]
Yeah, tradition of losing.
717
00:35:38,048 --> 00:35:40,399
-Let's do shots.
-You see that?
718
00:35:40,442 --> 00:35:42,314
-Now we're talking.
-Yeah, I don't really think--
719
00:35:42,357 --> 00:35:43,315
[Brad]
Kevin.
720
00:35:44,272 --> 00:35:47,101
So... what's your poison?
721
00:35:47,145 --> 00:35:49,059
[Margret]
Uh, do you have Jaäger?
722
00:35:49,103 --> 00:35:50,496
Let me rephrase that.
723
00:35:50,539 --> 00:35:52,889
Would you prefer
whiskey or tequila?
724
00:35:52,933 --> 00:35:54,848
[Margret]
Tequila!
725
00:35:54,891 --> 00:35:57,633
[Larry]
She loves tequila,
makes her crazy.
726
00:35:57,677 --> 00:35:59,200
[Margret]
♪ La cucaracha ♪
727
00:35:59,244 --> 00:36:01,028
[Brad]
Kind of figured that.
728
00:36:01,071 --> 00:36:03,422
So, anyway...
729
00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:05,989
What was the name of that
website you were featured on?
730
00:36:06,033 --> 00:36:07,513
[Margret]
Mysluttyex.org.
731
00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:09,210
[Brad]
Oh, yeah?
732
00:36:09,254 --> 00:36:11,256
Let's drink to that.
733
00:36:11,299 --> 00:36:12,474
[Kevin]
Salut.
734
00:36:15,477 --> 00:36:17,349
-Woo!
-I didn't need that.
735
00:36:17,392 --> 00:36:20,178
[Larry]
Oh, it's a party now.
736
00:36:20,221 --> 00:36:23,268
[Brad]
So, uh, how exactly
did your pics end up
737
00:36:23,311 --> 00:36:25,922
-on that site anyhow?
-Oh, my ex, Nehisi,
738
00:36:25,966 --> 00:36:27,315
had some topless pictures--
739
00:36:27,359 --> 00:36:28,969
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
what the fuck is his name?
740
00:36:29,012 --> 00:36:30,188
[Margret]
Nehisi.
741
00:36:31,145 --> 00:36:33,016
Your ex is a Canadian?
742
00:36:33,060 --> 00:36:35,628
[Margret]
No, he's not from
Canada, he's black.
743
00:36:35,671 --> 00:36:37,586
[Brad]
Wow, Lar,
you know about this?
744
00:36:37,630 --> 00:36:39,284
I mean, I've seen
you naked, bro.
745
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:40,633
Following that
act must be like
746
00:36:40,676 --> 00:36:42,287
throwing a baseball
bat into a closet.
747
00:36:42,330 --> 00:36:45,115
[Larry]
Oh, no, dude,
it's not at all.
748
00:36:45,159 --> 00:36:46,813
[Brad]
Okay, well, since
we're on the topic,
749
00:36:46,856 --> 00:36:48,554
are there any other
minorities you've been with
750
00:36:48,597 --> 00:36:50,947
that we should know about,
chin, landscaper, sand?
751
00:36:50,991 --> 00:36:52,340
-Dude!
-What, Kevin?
752
00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:53,950
They've only been together
for a couple of weeks.
753
00:36:53,994 --> 00:36:54,908
Lar deserves to know.
754
00:36:54,951 --> 00:36:56,649
[Margret]
You are so racist.
755
00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:58,694
[Brad]
I'm not racist, okay,
I hate everyone equally.
756
00:36:58,738 --> 00:37:00,479
[Larry]
He's just joking, baby.
757
00:37:00,522 --> 00:37:02,698
[Brad]
Yeah, I'm just playing,
I'm sorry.
758
00:37:02,742 --> 00:37:06,049
[Margret]
Okay, if you say so.
759
00:37:06,093 --> 00:37:07,268
Good, moving on.
760
00:37:07,312 --> 00:37:09,183
I bet you two have weird sex.
761
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,012
[Larry]
Hell yes, we do.
762
00:37:12,055 --> 00:37:14,232
[Margret]
I love it when
you make me squirt.
763
00:37:15,929 --> 00:37:18,453
[Brad]
Oh, yeah, let's
talk about that.
764
00:37:18,497 --> 00:37:21,500
[Larry]
Oh, man, you would
not believe it.
765
00:37:21,543 --> 00:37:23,371
[Brad]
You'd be amazed at what
I could believe.
766
00:37:23,415 --> 00:37:25,199
[Margret]
I can squirt ten yards.
767
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:28,028
-Yeah, I think I'm gonna go.
-Sit the fuck down, Kevin.
768
00:37:28,071 --> 00:37:29,769
That's bullshit, you can't
squirt ten yards.
769
00:37:29,812 --> 00:37:31,640
[Margret]
Yes, I can, I can
squirt ten yards.
770
00:37:31,684 --> 00:37:33,512
[Brad]
No, you cannot
squirt ten yards.
771
00:37:33,555 --> 00:37:35,122
[Margret]
Yes, I can!
772
00:37:35,165 --> 00:37:37,429
Ten yards, that's
a first down.
773
00:37:37,472 --> 00:37:38,734
You can't squirt
a first down!
774
00:37:38,778 --> 00:37:40,562
[Margret]
Yes, I can, tell him.
775
00:37:40,606 --> 00:37:42,738
[Larry]
Um, well.
776
00:37:42,782 --> 00:37:44,349
[Margret]
Whose side are you on?
777
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:45,828
What, baby, I'm on your side.
778
00:37:45,872 --> 00:37:47,265
[Margret]
Well, then tell him.
779
00:37:49,092 --> 00:37:51,225
It goes pretty far.
780
00:37:51,269 --> 00:37:52,531
[Brad]
Yeah, but Lar, come on, okay.
781
00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:54,097
We're not talking about
third and inches here.
782
00:37:54,141 --> 00:37:55,969
-This is fourth and long.
-Okay, I'll show you.
783
00:37:56,012 --> 00:37:57,884
No, no, I don't think
that's a good idea.
784
00:37:57,927 --> 00:37:59,886
[Margret]
You are letting this
asshole make fun of me.
785
00:37:59,929 --> 00:38:01,627
You're making me look
like a fucking liar.
786
00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:02,889
[Larry]
Baby, babe.
787
00:38:02,932 --> 00:38:04,107
[Margret]
Don't!
788
00:38:04,151 --> 00:38:05,805
[Larry]
I'm sorry, guys.
789
00:38:05,848 --> 00:38:08,373
She's just really sensitive
about this stuff.
790
00:38:08,416 --> 00:38:10,505
[Brad]
Don't be sorry, man,
it's all right.
791
00:38:10,549 --> 00:38:12,638
She's just expressing
herself is all.
792
00:38:14,596 --> 00:38:16,729
So are we gonna do this
bag of blow or what?
793
00:38:16,772 --> 00:38:18,339
-You guys have blow?
-I knew it!
794
00:38:18,383 --> 00:38:20,080
[Larry]
Oh, no.
795
00:38:20,123 --> 00:38:22,300
[Brad]
Larry, wait!
796
00:38:25,215 --> 00:38:26,347
[Margret]
Where's the blow?
797
00:38:27,305 --> 00:38:29,611
[Brad]
Hey, wait--Lar, wait up.
798
00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:31,657
-Are you all right, bro?
-Look, I'm sorry, man...
799
00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:34,007
she just gets a little out
of hand when she gets going.
800
00:38:34,050 --> 00:38:36,270
[Brad]
Hey, hey, hey,
never, ever apologize
801
00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:37,924
for a special gift
like that, okay?
802
00:38:37,967 --> 00:38:39,578
She's just a free
spirit, that's all,
803
00:38:39,621 --> 00:38:41,101
like a fucking unicorn.
804
00:38:41,144 --> 00:38:42,929
-You think so?
-I know so.
805
00:38:42,972 --> 00:38:45,584
[Larry]
I don't know, I haven't
known her that long, I just...
806
00:38:45,627 --> 00:38:47,063
Well, it doesn't take much.
807
00:38:48,891 --> 00:38:50,893
[soft quirky music]
808
00:38:50,937 --> 00:38:53,940
♪
809
00:38:53,983 --> 00:38:55,942
-You're right, man.
-Get in there.
810
00:38:55,985 --> 00:38:57,596
-You're right.
-Be a fucking athlete.
811
00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:59,337
-Let's do this.
-Be the man she needs
812
00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:00,338
you to be right now.
813
00:39:00,381 --> 00:39:01,817
[Larry]
Here I come, baby.
814
00:39:02,775 --> 00:39:03,645
[grunting]
815
00:39:04,994 --> 00:39:06,344
Come here!
816
00:39:06,387 --> 00:39:08,389
I'm sorry, baby, let's show
'em what you can do.
817
00:39:08,433 --> 00:39:09,782
[Kevin]
What did you say to him?
818
00:39:09,825 --> 00:39:11,784
[Brad]
That's not important.
819
00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:12,654
[laughing]
820
00:39:13,612 --> 00:39:14,874
This is gonna be awesome.
821
00:39:16,354 --> 00:39:18,051
[Bruce]
You are one of a kind, Lizzie.
822
00:39:18,094 --> 00:39:20,053
I'm gonna need to get this
pumpkin pie recipe.
823
00:39:20,096 --> 00:39:22,447
[Liz]
I'll e-mail it,
Mom taught me how to make it.
824
00:39:22,490 --> 00:39:24,405
-It's so good.
-Thank you.
825
00:39:24,449 --> 00:39:27,321
By the way, what is the
deal with that Kevin?
826
00:39:27,365 --> 00:39:29,192
So handsome, such a downer.
827
00:39:29,236 --> 00:39:31,804
[Bruce]
Yeah, lighten up,
it's not that bad.
828
00:39:31,847 --> 00:39:33,327
[Liz]
He's just going
through a tough time.
829
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:36,809
[Marc]
Yeah, I can see that,
but get over it, P.S.
830
00:39:36,852 --> 00:39:39,115
He's sensitive, I don't know.
831
00:39:39,159 --> 00:39:41,161
I'm sure with a little
help from his friends
832
00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:42,031
he'll be fine.
833
00:39:44,033 --> 00:39:46,471
Anyways, I wonder
what they're up to.
834
00:39:46,514 --> 00:39:48,777
[dramatic music]
835
00:39:48,821 --> 00:39:50,866
♪
836
00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:51,998
Ah, ah.
837
00:39:52,041 --> 00:39:53,826
♪
838
00:39:53,869 --> 00:39:56,089
[Brad]
Come on, Lar, be an athlete.
839
00:39:56,132 --> 00:39:59,005
-You can do it, baby.
-Right, right, left, left.
840
00:39:59,048 --> 00:40:02,356
[Brad]
Oh, dude, this'll beat front row
at a Gallagher concert.
841
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:05,098
-I think I'm gonna go.
-No way, you need to see this.
842
00:40:05,141 --> 00:40:07,405
Come on, baby,
I want my first down.
843
00:40:07,448 --> 00:40:09,581
[Larry]
I'm trying, I'm trying, man.
844
00:40:09,624 --> 00:40:11,017
It usually doesn't
take this long.
845
00:40:11,060 --> 00:40:12,671
[Brad]
Well, get your shit
together, all right?
846
00:40:12,714 --> 00:40:14,673
Don't want to put you
in half time for Kevin.
847
00:40:14,716 --> 00:40:16,849
-Shut up!
-Sorry, sorry, man, too much.
848
00:40:16,892 --> 00:40:20,200
[shouting]
849
00:40:20,243 --> 00:40:21,549
-Give them some encouragement.
-Come on,
850
00:40:21,593 --> 00:40:22,898
you can do it, guys!
851
00:40:24,117 --> 00:40:25,553
Dude, look how pink it is.
852
00:40:25,597 --> 00:40:27,512
[Brad]
Yeah, I know.
853
00:40:27,555 --> 00:40:29,514
[Kevin]
I think I should be leaving.
854
00:40:29,557 --> 00:40:31,777
-No, you shouldn't be leaving.
-Yes, yes.
855
00:40:31,820 --> 00:40:33,518
We're not done
till we move the chains.
856
00:40:33,561 --> 00:40:35,694
I don't think we're
gonna move the chains!
857
00:40:35,737 --> 00:40:37,391
[Brad]
Come on, get your knees up!
858
00:40:37,435 --> 00:40:39,480
High knees, let's go!
859
00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:40,916
Hey, Lar, give
her the Kit Kat!
860
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:43,484
-Oh, yeah.
-What the hell is the Kit Kat?
861
00:40:43,528 --> 00:40:45,704
What's wrong with you?
862
00:40:45,747 --> 00:40:47,401
We don't have time
to get into that.
863
00:40:47,445 --> 00:40:49,490
Come on, Lar,
snap that fucking bean!
864
00:40:49,534 --> 00:40:52,972
♪
865
00:40:53,015 --> 00:40:54,713
[shouting]
866
00:40:54,756 --> 00:40:56,410
Ah!
867
00:40:56,454 --> 00:40:58,673
[shouting]
868
00:40:58,717 --> 00:41:00,501
-Touchdown!
-Woo!
869
00:41:00,545 --> 00:41:02,111
[Brad]
We fucking did it!
870
00:41:03,765 --> 00:41:05,593
Woo!
871
00:41:05,637 --> 00:41:07,421
I love you.
872
00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:09,031
Yes!
873
00:41:09,075 --> 00:41:11,730
[Liz]
Oh, they're fine, they're
just watching the game.
874
00:41:11,773 --> 00:41:13,427
Must be a good one.
875
00:41:13,471 --> 00:41:14,820
Hmm.
876
00:41:14,863 --> 00:41:16,474
She's a little kooky, right?
877
00:41:17,475 --> 00:41:18,867
[Bruce]
I didn't notice.
878
00:41:18,911 --> 00:41:20,739
She's got gout
in her vagina.
879
00:41:20,782 --> 00:41:22,610
-Stop it.
-Well, she is disgusting.
880
00:41:22,654 --> 00:41:24,612
-That's a little over the top.
-Listen, let's be clear,
881
00:41:24,656 --> 00:41:26,614
you know she blew an eight
ball in your bathroom?
882
00:41:26,658 --> 00:41:28,616
-Stop it.
-What do you mean stop it?
883
00:41:28,660 --> 00:41:31,401
You didn't see it
up in her nose?
884
00:41:31,445 --> 00:41:32,707
Okay, by the way,
885
00:41:32,751 --> 00:41:35,057
I'm glad I'm the only
one that noticed that.
886
00:41:35,101 --> 00:41:36,319
Are you high?
887
00:41:36,363 --> 00:41:37,756
[Bruce]
Stop it.
888
00:41:37,799 --> 00:41:39,279
[Marc]
Stop squashing me, Bruce.
889
00:41:39,322 --> 00:41:41,586
You're always squashing me
in front of your niece.
890
00:41:41,629 --> 00:41:43,065
It's, like, not fair,
then she thinks--
891
00:41:43,109 --> 00:41:46,547
Stop, do you need more wine,
are you guys good?
892
00:41:46,591 --> 00:41:48,984
Oh no, I think I'm good
on the grape.
893
00:41:50,986 --> 00:41:52,335
Was she in the
fucking circus?
894
00:41:52,379 --> 00:41:54,207
-That was awesome.
-I know.
895
00:41:54,250 --> 00:41:56,775
-You all right in there?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah.
896
00:41:56,818 --> 00:41:59,517
Just got hit with a tidal
wave of cum is all.
897
00:42:01,344 --> 00:42:03,390
-Larry, is she dead?
-Oh, no.
898
00:42:03,433 --> 00:42:05,523
It just takes
a lot out of her.
899
00:42:05,566 --> 00:42:07,133
I gotta get Liz
on this program.
900
00:42:08,090 --> 00:42:09,004
Kev, open up.
901
00:42:12,486 --> 00:42:13,792
[Margret]
Did we make it?
902
00:42:13,835 --> 00:42:16,664
[Larry]
Oh, first down, baby.
903
00:42:18,013 --> 00:42:20,146
[Kevin]
I'm going home now.
904
00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:22,757
[Brad]
What? You can't leave now.
905
00:42:22,801 --> 00:42:24,106
[Margret]
Put me in, Coach.
906
00:42:24,150 --> 00:42:26,544
[Brad]
See, she's just getting started.
907
00:42:26,587 --> 00:42:30,330
[Kevin]
Brad, I'm soaked in cum.
908
00:42:30,373 --> 00:42:31,636
I'm going home to shower.
909
00:42:31,679 --> 00:42:33,333
[Margret]
You can't leave,
where's he going?
910
00:42:33,376 --> 00:42:35,596
[Larry]
Oh, it's all right,
oh, there we go.
911
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,251
[Kevin]
Margret...
912
00:42:38,294 --> 00:42:40,035
You're a very talented woman.
913
00:42:40,079 --> 00:42:43,430
-Lar, it's been real.
-Good to see you too, Kev.
914
00:42:43,473 --> 00:42:47,173
-Next time.
-Keep your head up, man.
915
00:42:47,216 --> 00:42:49,784
-Where's he going?
-He just got shaken up
916
00:42:49,828 --> 00:42:52,134
on the plane, don't worry,
he'll jog it right off.
917
00:42:52,178 --> 00:42:54,136
Lar, you guys are welcome
to spend the night here.
918
00:42:54,180 --> 00:42:56,835
For that matter, you can stay
here for the rest of your lives.
919
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:57,879
-Thanks, man.
-Kev!
920
00:42:57,923 --> 00:42:59,751
[Margret]
See you at Christmas.
921
00:42:59,794 --> 00:43:01,927
-Kev, wait up.
-What?
922
00:43:01,970 --> 00:43:04,016
[Brad]
Look, dude, I'm sorry
you got sprayed, okay?
923
00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:06,366
I thought she was talking shit,
didn't think she could do it.
924
00:43:06,409 --> 00:43:08,760
Yeah, neither did I,
but, clearly, she can.
925
00:43:08,803 --> 00:43:10,196
And she did it all over me.
926
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,024
And I'm a little
emotional about it.
927
00:43:12,067 --> 00:43:13,852
[Brad]
Look, dude, I get it, okay?
928
00:43:13,895 --> 00:43:15,375
I know it's
somewhat degrading
929
00:43:15,418 --> 00:43:17,029
when someone cums in your
face, but society's changed.
930
00:43:17,072 --> 00:43:19,074
Straight guys take it on the
chin sometimes, too.
931
00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:20,685
[Kevin]
Oh, you're pathetic.
932
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:22,034
Tell Liz I said thank you.
933
00:43:22,077 --> 00:43:25,603
-I'll see you tomorrow.
-Kevin, wait, wait.
934
00:43:25,646 --> 00:43:27,779
Okay, hey, stop.
935
00:43:28,954 --> 00:43:30,782
What do you say we
go to your place,
936
00:43:30,825 --> 00:43:32,784
get you changed up,
and go paint the town?
937
00:43:32,827 --> 00:43:34,829
I've seen enough painting
for one night.
938
00:43:35,700 --> 00:43:37,832
Kev, look at me.
939
00:43:37,876 --> 00:43:40,182
I need this as
badly as you do.
940
00:43:40,226 --> 00:43:41,096
[Kevin]
How so?
941
00:43:43,098 --> 00:43:45,057
Because one more
night of Bravo
942
00:43:45,100 --> 00:43:47,146
and girl talk with
Liz and the queers,
943
00:43:47,189 --> 00:43:50,149
and I'm gonna start
wishing death on people again.
944
00:43:50,192 --> 00:43:52,281
[soft quirky music]
945
00:43:52,325 --> 00:43:53,239
Please.
946
00:43:55,502 --> 00:43:56,677
Come on, man, just say yes.
947
00:43:56,721 --> 00:43:58,766
[Kevin]
All right, all right, fine.
948
00:43:59,724 --> 00:44:01,682
You're not gonna regret this.
949
00:44:01,726 --> 00:44:02,596
Be right back.
950
00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:06,992
♪
951
00:44:07,035 --> 00:44:07,906
Ladies.
952
00:44:07,949 --> 00:44:09,298
Babe, I gotta talk to you.
953
00:44:09,342 --> 00:44:14,129
♪
954
00:44:14,173 --> 00:44:17,698
[Bruce]
I wish I was Liz just once
so I could teach him a lesson.
955
00:44:17,742 --> 00:44:20,179
Me too so he could
teach me one.
956
00:44:21,963 --> 00:44:24,618
♪
957
00:44:24,662 --> 00:44:26,359
[Brad]
Kev's in bad shape, okay?
958
00:44:26,402 --> 00:44:29,188
I think seeing you and I
and Margret and Larry
959
00:44:29,231 --> 00:44:30,798
and Bonnie and
Clyde over there
960
00:44:30,842 --> 00:44:32,104
got him down a little bit.
961
00:44:32,147 --> 00:44:33,932
So, look, I was just
thinking maybe I could
962
00:44:33,975 --> 00:44:36,717
take him out for a while
just to cheer him up, you know?
963
00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:38,110
You are ridiculous.
964
00:44:38,153 --> 00:44:39,720
Shouldn't you be
with your family?
965
00:44:39,764 --> 00:44:41,548
Babe, I'm with my family
every day, okay?
966
00:44:41,591 --> 00:44:43,898
He's my best friend, I want
to make sure I'm there
967
00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:45,987
for him in his time of need;
I can't send him home
968
00:44:46,031 --> 00:44:47,641
with his head down like this.
969
00:44:47,685 --> 00:44:49,338
It won't be a late
night, I promise.
970
00:44:50,992 --> 00:44:52,994
What about Larry and Margret?
971
00:44:53,038 --> 00:44:54,213
[Brad]
Oh, they're all fucked up.
972
00:44:54,256 --> 00:44:55,693
I think the tryptophan
in the turkey
973
00:44:55,736 --> 00:44:58,260
got to 'em a little, think
they're in for the night.
974
00:44:59,348 --> 00:45:00,001
[Liz]
Really?
975
00:45:00,741 --> 00:45:01,350
Pshhhhh.
976
00:45:02,395 --> 00:45:03,962
Yeah, okay.
977
00:45:04,005 --> 00:45:06,921
Okay, just don't
make it a late night.
978
00:45:06,965 --> 00:45:08,793
I promise you I won't.
979
00:45:08,836 --> 00:45:10,925
-I love you so much.
-Okay, I love you.
980
00:45:12,840 --> 00:45:15,060
[Liz] [tired sigh]
Guess who's going out?
981
00:45:17,192 --> 00:45:19,412
-Have a good night.
-I'm sorry [laughter]
982
00:45:19,455 --> 00:45:21,153
where are you going?
983
00:45:21,196 --> 00:45:23,155
Just taking Kevin
out for a bit.
984
00:45:23,198 --> 00:45:25,810
-Can we come?
-Yeah, that's a great idea.
985
00:45:25,853 --> 00:45:27,986
You guys never hang out.
986
00:45:28,029 --> 00:45:30,336
-Really?
-Why not?
987
00:45:30,379 --> 00:45:32,991
-Yeah, why not?
-'Cause we're gonna go do,
988
00:45:33,034 --> 00:45:34,209
you know, guy shit.
989
00:45:34,253 --> 00:45:35,645
You probably
wouldn't be into it.
990
00:45:35,689 --> 00:45:36,821
[Bruce]
Need I remind you
991
00:45:36,864 --> 00:45:38,736
I played three years
varsity football.
992
00:45:38,779 --> 00:45:40,563
-You did?
-Yes.
993
00:45:40,607 --> 00:45:42,000
I was a tight end.
994
00:45:42,043 --> 00:45:44,916
How did I know you
were gonna say that?
995
00:45:44,959 --> 00:45:46,787
Fuck it, let's go shake
up the world.
996
00:45:46,831 --> 00:45:48,702
Come on, tight ass.
997
00:45:48,746 --> 00:45:49,790
[Marc]
Bye!
998
00:45:51,836 --> 00:45:55,665
[intense rock music]
999
00:45:55,709 --> 00:45:57,363
[tires screeching]
1000
00:45:57,406 --> 00:46:07,721
♪
1001
00:46:07,765 --> 00:46:09,375
[siren wailing]
1002
00:46:09,418 --> 00:46:11,638
♪
1003
00:46:11,681 --> 00:46:14,206
[horn blaring]
1004
00:46:14,249 --> 00:46:24,216
♪
1005
00:46:27,872 --> 00:46:29,482
[rapper]
♪ Graduated U of M
1006
00:46:29,525 --> 00:46:31,614
♪ Summa cum laude,
few of them ♪
1007
00:46:31,658 --> 00:46:33,094
♪ Just had her first IUD
1008
00:46:33,138 --> 00:46:35,183
♪ Ain't tryin' to
have birth by Obie T ♪
1009
00:46:35,227 --> 00:46:37,055
♪ Louis bag, big as shit
1010
00:46:37,098 --> 00:46:38,708
♪ Rural area, Borics
1011
00:46:38,752 --> 00:46:41,233
♪ Nigga need to cut,
nigga need to get trimmed up ♪
1012
00:46:41,276 --> 00:46:42,800
♪ She's so proper with it
1013
00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:45,019
♪
1014
00:46:45,063 --> 00:46:46,194
[Brad]
Look at this place, man.
1015
00:46:46,238 --> 00:46:48,066
This is what
I'm talking about.
1016
00:46:48,109 --> 00:46:49,415
Come on.
1017
00:46:49,458 --> 00:46:51,069
[announcer]
Angel, you're up next.
1018
00:46:51,112 --> 00:46:52,548
[Marc]
Ugh.
1019
00:46:52,592 --> 00:46:55,725
Is this a strip joint
or a homeless shelter?
1020
00:46:55,769 --> 00:46:57,510
[Bruce]
It's like they hate clothes.
1021
00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:58,511
[Marc]
I don't...
1022
00:46:59,425 --> 00:47:02,036
Hi, I'm Sasha.
1023
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:03,472
You boys want to party?
1024
00:47:03,516 --> 00:47:07,128
[Bruce]
Um, maybe if your name
was Kyle or Steve.
1025
00:47:07,172 --> 00:47:09,130
-Sorry, sweetheart.
-Sweetie,
1026
00:47:09,174 --> 00:47:12,307
we're into bigger hands
and hairier chests, so...
1027
00:47:13,308 --> 00:47:16,485
[Sasha]
Oh, you only live once.
1028
00:47:16,529 --> 00:47:17,443
Follow me.
1029
00:47:18,313 --> 00:47:19,401
[Marc]
Brucie, I don't...
1030
00:47:19,445 --> 00:47:20,925
[rapper]
♪ Magistrate's her mammy
1031
00:47:20,968 --> 00:47:23,275
♪ But it's more heat
though, it's Miami ♪
1032
00:47:23,318 --> 00:47:26,191
-Hey, Kayla.
-Hey, Brad.
1033
00:47:26,234 --> 00:47:27,714
[Brad]
How's school going?
1034
00:47:27,757 --> 00:47:29,629
[Kayla]
Ugh, if I knew physics
was gonna be so tough
1035
00:47:29,672 --> 00:47:31,979
I would've stuck
to engineering.
1036
00:47:32,023 --> 00:47:34,764
[Brad]
Hey, when you get a chance...
1037
00:47:34,808 --> 00:47:36,679
I got a heartbreak over here.
1038
00:47:36,723 --> 00:47:39,726
[Kayla]
Aw, poor baby.
1039
00:47:39,769 --> 00:47:40,858
I got ya.
1040
00:47:42,816 --> 00:47:45,645
[rapper]
♪ Never had it like this
growing up in sticks ♪
1041
00:47:45,688 --> 00:47:46,776
♪ Body so murderous
1042
00:47:46,820 --> 00:47:48,691
♪ It's only right first 48
1043
00:47:48,735 --> 00:47:50,084
[rapper]
♪ Good girls
1044
00:47:51,303 --> 00:47:53,871
♪ Like to have bad fun ♪
1045
00:47:55,568 --> 00:47:56,525
[Brad]
Rodney, baby.
1046
00:47:57,918 --> 00:47:58,963
Look at this guy!
1047
00:47:59,006 --> 00:48:00,138
How you doing, baby?
1048
00:48:00,181 --> 00:48:01,835
[Brad]
Doin' good, man.
1049
00:48:01,879 --> 00:48:03,184
Hey, this is my boy Kevin.
1050
00:48:03,228 --> 00:48:04,446
[Rod]
Nice to meet you.
1051
00:48:04,490 --> 00:48:06,448
-Hey, first time here?
-Yeah.
1052
00:48:06,492 --> 00:48:08,320
[Rod]
I can tell,
you got shock and awe
1053
00:48:08,363 --> 00:48:09,930
written all over your face.
1054
00:48:09,974 --> 00:48:11,932
Have a seat, boys.
1055
00:48:11,976 --> 00:48:12,933
[Brad]
All right.
1056
00:48:14,935 --> 00:48:18,069
So, uh, any new
talent in here?
1057
00:48:18,112 --> 00:48:20,071
Got this new box of
rocks right here.
1058
00:48:21,899 --> 00:48:23,944
Her name's Destiny.
1059
00:48:23,988 --> 00:48:25,598
[Brad]
Of course her name's Destiny.
1060
00:48:25,641 --> 00:48:27,382
She's fucking hot.
1061
00:48:27,426 --> 00:48:31,038
[Rod]
Yeah, I don't like the way
her pussy's set up though.
1062
00:48:31,082 --> 00:48:34,955
-What?
-The setup, it's no good.
1063
00:48:34,999 --> 00:48:36,739
Hmm, it's no good.
1064
00:48:36,783 --> 00:48:39,438
♪
1065
00:48:39,481 --> 00:48:40,569
[Marc]
Give me some twenties.
1066
00:48:40,613 --> 00:48:43,355
[Bruce]
I give you money all the time.
1067
00:48:43,398 --> 00:48:44,791
[Marc]
Polly want a cracker?
1068
00:48:44,834 --> 00:48:46,227
Polly want
a cracker?
1069
00:48:46,271 --> 00:48:49,317
[Bruce]
Woo-hoo, this is fun,
I'm not gonna lie.
1070
00:48:49,361 --> 00:48:51,624
[Marc]
It's kinda fun. Look, look.
1071
00:48:51,667 --> 00:48:55,193
[singing]
1072
00:48:55,236 --> 00:48:56,629
[Bruce]
You can't touch,
you can't touch.
1073
00:48:56,672 --> 00:48:59,632
[Marc]
But I'm not touching,
she was my guitar.
1074
00:48:59,675 --> 00:49:01,764
[Rod]
So what brings you
boys in tonight?
1075
00:49:01,808 --> 00:49:05,116
Shouldn't you be home with
families eating turkey and shit?
1076
00:49:05,159 --> 00:49:07,292
[Brad]
We did that already.
1077
00:49:07,335 --> 00:49:09,033
Kevin here's been going
through a little heartbreak.
1078
00:49:09,076 --> 00:49:11,209
[Rod]
Oh, sorry to hear that.
1079
00:49:11,252 --> 00:49:13,602
What happened, buddy?
1080
00:49:13,646 --> 00:49:16,170
[Kevin]
Nothing, we're just
taking a break.
1081
00:49:16,214 --> 00:49:17,650
[Rod]
A break?
1082
00:49:17,693 --> 00:49:21,175
Buddy, buddy,
bitches don't take breaks.
1083
00:49:21,219 --> 00:49:23,395
You seem like a nice,
quiet, well-behaved man,
1084
00:49:23,438 --> 00:49:25,701
but let me give
a word of advice.
1085
00:49:25,745 --> 00:49:28,835
You, you send girls
cards and flowers
1086
00:49:28,878 --> 00:49:30,358
and candy and shit, right?
1087
00:49:30,402 --> 00:49:31,838
-Yeah.
-Of course you do,
1088
00:49:31,881 --> 00:49:35,407
and that's all right, but
just remember, at the end
1089
00:49:35,450 --> 00:49:37,583
of every day, bitches don't
want to be held and cuddled
1090
00:49:37,626 --> 00:49:40,064
and coddled and shit--
no, what they want...
1091
00:49:40,107 --> 00:49:42,588
is a motherfucking salami,
know what I mean?
1092
00:49:44,982 --> 00:49:46,592
-Thanks, Rod.
-Don't mention it.
1093
00:49:47,462 --> 00:49:48,289
Kelly?
1094
00:49:49,464 --> 00:49:51,075
Kelly!
1095
00:49:51,118 --> 00:49:53,338
Yeah, bring my
boys some booze.
1096
00:49:53,381 --> 00:49:55,557
I got shit to do
in the office.
1097
00:49:55,601 --> 00:49:57,820
Here's a pile of ones.
1098
00:49:57,864 --> 00:49:59,474
Spend every last one of 'em.
1099
00:49:59,518 --> 00:50:00,606
You boys enjoy.
1100
00:50:00,649 --> 00:50:01,650
[Brad]
Thanks, man.
1101
00:50:02,956 --> 00:50:05,132
[lively music]
1102
00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:08,614
[Rod]
Remember, it's all
about the salami.
1103
00:50:08,657 --> 00:50:12,661
♪
1104
00:50:12,705 --> 00:50:15,751
[sighing]
1105
00:50:15,795 --> 00:50:19,059
[Kevin]
So are we gonna tell everyone
my business all day today?
1106
00:50:19,103 --> 00:50:20,234
[Brad]
What are you bitching about?
1107
00:50:20,278 --> 00:50:21,757
He gave you the best advice
all day.
1108
00:50:21,801 --> 00:50:24,064
[Kevin]
Oh, what, send Michelle
a salami?
1109
00:50:24,108 --> 00:50:25,065
Great advice.
1110
00:50:25,109 --> 00:50:27,024
-Hey, Brad.
-Hey.
1111
00:50:27,067 --> 00:50:29,287
Can we get four shots
of Patrón, please?
1112
00:50:29,330 --> 00:50:31,680
-Why four?
-Kevin.
1113
00:50:31,724 --> 00:50:34,466
-Four shots, please.
-You got it, doll.
1114
00:50:34,509 --> 00:50:37,643
♪
1115
00:50:37,686 --> 00:50:40,689
[Brad]
Can you at least try to pretend
like you're having a good time?
1116
00:50:40,733 --> 00:50:41,951
This place is a riot.
1117
00:50:41,995 --> 00:50:43,127
[Kevin]
How frequently
do you come here?
1118
00:50:43,170 --> 00:50:44,258
Everyone knows your name.
1119
00:50:44,302 --> 00:50:45,825
[Brad]
Yeah, like Cheers.
1120
00:50:45,868 --> 00:50:50,090
♪
1121
00:50:50,134 --> 00:50:51,831
[female #1]
Hey, trouble.
1122
00:50:51,874 --> 00:50:53,615
♪
1123
00:50:53,659 --> 00:50:56,140
[male singer]
♪ Am I your toy,
am I your game ♪
1124
00:50:56,183 --> 00:50:58,707
♪ Am I your game of love
1125
00:50:58,751 --> 00:50:59,882
♪ I could be yours
1126
00:50:59,926 --> 00:51:01,101
♪ You could be mine
1127
00:51:01,145 --> 00:51:03,756
♪ We could be occupied ♪
1128
00:51:03,799 --> 00:51:06,237
-What are we TiVoing right now?
-Andy Cohen, Andy Cohen,
1129
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:07,325
Andy Cohen, and Andy Cohen.
1130
00:51:07,368 --> 00:51:09,066
-Boom.
-I love Andy Cohen!
1131
00:51:09,109 --> 00:51:13,592
[Marc]
Excuse me, he is my Jewess
sister from another mister.
1132
00:51:13,635 --> 00:51:15,420
[female #2]
Ah, I love it.
1133
00:51:15,463 --> 00:51:17,204
[female #3]
Should get together
and watch Bravo!
1134
00:51:17,248 --> 00:51:18,510
[Bruce]
I would love that!
1135
00:51:18,553 --> 00:51:20,251
-I think that's a great idea!
-Honey, tell 'em
1136
00:51:20,294 --> 00:51:23,819
about your Housewives
spinoff show.
1137
00:51:23,863 --> 00:51:24,994
[Brad]
Come on, baby.
1138
00:51:25,038 --> 00:51:28,737
♪
1139
00:51:28,781 --> 00:51:30,826
How 'bout an Eskimo kiss?
1140
00:51:30,870 --> 00:51:31,871
[Kayla]
Not tonight, Brad.
1141
00:51:31,914 --> 00:51:35,135
♪
1142
00:51:35,179 --> 00:51:36,876
[female #4]
Here you go, boys.
1143
00:51:36,919 --> 00:51:39,879
[Brad]
Yeah, here we go, that's
what I'm talking about.
1144
00:51:39,922 --> 00:51:41,228
♪
1145
00:51:41,272 --> 00:51:43,404
[female #4]
Enjoy, oh, thanks.
1146
00:51:43,448 --> 00:51:44,492
♪
1147
00:51:44,536 --> 00:51:46,103
[Brad]
All right, man up, bitch.
1148
00:51:46,146 --> 00:51:47,278
Here's to Larry and Margret.
1149
00:51:47,321 --> 00:51:48,583
[Kevin]
To Larry and Margret.
1150
00:51:48,627 --> 00:51:50,890
♪
1151
00:51:50,933 --> 00:51:52,065
Oh, shit.
1152
00:51:52,109 --> 00:51:53,632
[laughing]
1153
00:51:53,675 --> 00:51:55,286
♪
1154
00:51:55,329 --> 00:51:56,896
[Brad]
It's a little something
to remind you you're alive.
1155
00:51:56,939 --> 00:51:58,637
That's all.
1156
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:01,988
[announcer]
Cheetahs, make some noise
for the lovely Kayla.
1157
00:52:02,031 --> 00:52:03,468
♪
1158
00:52:03,511 --> 00:52:05,165
Next up, we've got
a special treat
1159
00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:07,167
for you all to be
thankful for.
1160
00:52:07,211 --> 00:52:10,344
Give it up for the
majestic Aurora.
1161
00:52:10,388 --> 00:52:12,738
[dramatic rock music]
1162
00:52:12,781 --> 00:52:17,003
♪
1163
00:52:17,046 --> 00:52:20,137
[Brad]
Oh, baby,
this bitch is awesome.
1164
00:52:20,180 --> 00:52:31,017
♪
1165
00:52:31,060 --> 00:52:35,935
[male singer]
♪ I'm the living proof that the
devil can party till damned ♪
1166
00:52:35,978 --> 00:52:38,851
♪ I'm the one
that can front like an angel
1167
00:52:38,894 --> 00:52:41,245
and charm up the world ♪
1168
00:52:41,288 --> 00:52:43,116
♪ Chase some evil and mine
1169
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:45,771
will make you do
stranger things ♪
1170
00:52:45,814 --> 00:52:49,601
♪ I'm your teacher of everything
that the demon demands ♪
1171
00:52:49,644 --> 00:52:52,647
♪ My bad can bomb, bow wow
1172
00:52:52,691 --> 00:52:54,562
♪ Could shake you downtown
1173
00:52:54,606 --> 00:52:56,912
♪ My bad can take you
down, down ♪
1174
00:52:56,956 --> 00:52:59,480
♪ That's if you want
to be badder than bad ♪
1175
00:52:59,524 --> 00:53:02,048
♪ My bad can bomb, bow wow
1176
00:53:02,091 --> 00:53:04,442
♪ My bad knocking loud, loud
1177
00:53:04,485 --> 00:53:06,705
♪ My bad is ready to love you
1178
00:53:06,748 --> 00:53:10,970
♪ Come on, get badder and badder
with me up your ladder ♪
1179
00:53:11,013 --> 00:53:14,887
♪
1180
00:53:14,930 --> 00:53:18,717
♪ My, my, my, my, my, my
bad, bad, bad, bad ♪
1181
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,501
Woo!
1182
00:53:20,545 --> 00:53:25,245
♪ Move a little, a little
down on the floor ♪
1183
00:53:25,289 --> 00:53:30,294
♪ Move on up to the kiss of
a man that'll demon your ma ♪
1184
00:53:30,337 --> 00:53:31,773
♪ Don't be afraid of the thing
1185
00:53:31,817 --> 00:53:34,820
that'll make you go
out of control ♪
1186
00:53:34,863 --> 00:53:37,475
♪ I'm your evil,
I'll get you to hell ♪
1187
00:53:37,518 --> 00:53:42,044
♪ And, hell, you know
my bad can bomb, bow wow ♪♪
1188
00:53:42,088 --> 00:53:45,091
♪
1189
00:53:45,134 --> 00:53:47,224
[Kayla]
Ugh, you fucking asshole!
1190
00:53:48,312 --> 00:53:49,269
[bouncer]
Fucking loser!
1191
00:53:49,313 --> 00:53:51,228
Don't fucking come back here!
1192
00:53:52,707 --> 00:53:54,274
[Brad]
What the fuck, dude?
1193
00:53:54,318 --> 00:53:56,233
Take it easy--Kev.
1194
00:53:56,276 --> 00:53:57,234
Kev!
1195
00:53:58,104 --> 00:53:59,410
Oh, shit.
1196
00:54:00,324 --> 00:54:02,587
Dude, are you okay?
1197
00:54:02,630 --> 00:54:04,023
[Kevin]
I'm so sorry, man.
1198
00:54:04,066 --> 00:54:06,504
[Brad]
What, was it the shots?
1199
00:54:06,547 --> 00:54:09,115
[Kevin]
No, it wasn't,
well, maybe it was.
1200
00:54:09,158 --> 00:54:10,638
That girl put her
tits in my face.
1201
00:54:10,682 --> 00:54:12,553
-Kayla.
-Yeah, and I was thinking
1202
00:54:12,597 --> 00:54:13,859
about Michelle, and I saw...
1203
00:54:13,902 --> 00:54:15,774
[Brad]
Oh, come on, are you
fucking serious?
1204
00:54:15,817 --> 00:54:19,386
[Kevin]
What, do you think
that I did it on purpose?
1205
00:54:19,430 --> 00:54:21,258
[Brad]
All right, look,
maybe bringing you here
1206
00:54:21,301 --> 00:54:23,129
wasn't a good idea.
1207
00:54:23,172 --> 00:54:24,348
They better let me come back.
1208
00:54:24,391 --> 00:54:25,784
-Dude.
-You're right,
1209
00:54:25,827 --> 00:54:27,525
I'm sure they will.
1210
00:54:27,568 --> 00:54:30,832
[indistinct chatter]
1211
00:54:34,488 --> 00:54:36,229
[Bruce]
Oh, bye, guys!
1212
00:54:36,273 --> 00:54:38,492
[Marc]
Thank you for a lovely evening.
1213
00:54:38,536 --> 00:54:40,233
[Brad]
Where the fuck are
you guys going?
1214
00:54:40,277 --> 00:54:42,366
-Ice cream.
-Ice cream!
1215
00:54:42,409 --> 00:54:43,758
[Bruce]
Woo-hoo-hoo!
1216
00:54:45,107 --> 00:54:47,327
Watch your step, ladies.
1217
00:54:47,371 --> 00:54:49,721
[upbeat music]
1218
00:54:49,764 --> 00:54:59,731
♪
1219
00:55:02,951 --> 00:55:05,389
[Brad]
Look at this place.
If you can't get laid here,
1220
00:55:05,432 --> 00:55:07,434
there is definitely something
wrong with you.
1221
00:55:07,478 --> 00:55:09,044
[whistling]
1222
00:55:09,088 --> 00:55:10,611
Leave it open.
1223
00:55:10,655 --> 00:55:12,091
[Kevin]
What are you,
Christian Mingle?
1224
00:55:12,134 --> 00:55:13,266
Can't we just hang out?
1225
00:55:13,310 --> 00:55:14,615
[Brad]
No, I'm Adult Friend Finder.
1226
00:55:14,659 --> 00:55:16,225
Okay, look, maybe getting laid
1227
00:55:16,269 --> 00:55:17,575
is setting the bar
high for today.
1228
00:55:17,618 --> 00:55:19,228
Let's start out
with a phone number.
1229
00:55:19,272 --> 00:55:21,666
[Kevin]
Sounds good.
1230
00:55:21,709 --> 00:55:22,797
[Brad]
There they are.
1231
00:55:24,495 --> 00:55:27,715
The one with the helmet
next to the fire hydrant.
1232
00:55:27,759 --> 00:55:30,631
[Kevin]
Look, I don't need
any help, really.
1233
00:55:30,675 --> 00:55:33,417
[Brad]
Kevin, I've taken down a
four to help a friend
1234
00:55:33,460 --> 00:55:36,071
get a seven in the past,
and God dammit, I'd do it again.
1235
00:55:38,465 --> 00:55:39,597
Reminds me of Nam.
1236
00:55:39,640 --> 00:55:42,469
[guns firing, men shouting]
1237
00:55:42,513 --> 00:55:44,689
A lesser man would've
gone for the seven.
1238
00:55:44,732 --> 00:55:49,433
♪
1239
00:55:49,476 --> 00:55:50,608
Ladies, how you doing?
1240
00:55:50,651 --> 00:55:53,088
Happy Thanksgiving,
come here often?
1241
00:55:53,132 --> 00:55:54,873
This your boyfriend?
1242
00:55:54,916 --> 00:55:57,789
[whistling]
1243
00:55:57,832 --> 00:55:59,530
[lively music]
1244
00:55:59,573 --> 00:56:02,141
Kevin, Kevin, hey.
1245
00:56:02,184 --> 00:56:06,319
♪
1246
00:56:06,363 --> 00:56:08,800
[female singer]
♪ You seek me out,
creeping in ♪
1247
00:56:08,843 --> 00:56:12,064
-Friend's a real piece of work.
-Yeah, he sure is.
1248
00:56:12,107 --> 00:56:15,110
[female #5]
It's all right, she's a total
slut so he won't offend her.
1249
00:56:15,154 --> 00:56:16,982
[Kevin]
Really, well, that
ought to keep him
1250
00:56:17,025 --> 00:56:18,375
occupied for a little bit.
1251
00:56:18,418 --> 00:56:20,289
[female #5]
From what, trying
to get you laid?
1252
00:56:20,333 --> 00:56:23,641
-Huh?
-That's why I'm here.
1253
00:56:23,684 --> 00:56:25,599
Come on, let's
get out of here.
1254
00:56:28,210 --> 00:56:30,343
[female singer]
♪ Take it up, take it down ♪
1255
00:56:30,387 --> 00:56:31,953
Relax, I'm kidding.
1256
00:56:31,997 --> 00:56:34,434
I only fuck girls.
1257
00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:38,786
-Really, who are you?
-They call me Mel.
1258
00:56:38,830 --> 00:56:41,833
So, anyway, who's got
you so down?
1259
00:56:41,876 --> 00:56:43,835
-Look, no, I'd rather not.
-You'd rather not my dick,
1260
00:56:43,878 --> 00:56:45,663
it's written all
over your face.
1261
00:56:45,706 --> 00:56:47,665
Besides, your friend said
your head's been up your ass
1262
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:49,014
since some bitch
broke your heart.
1263
00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:51,973
[Kevin]
He said all that, huh?
1264
00:56:52,017 --> 00:56:53,845
[Mel]
Yeah.
1265
00:56:53,888 --> 00:56:56,848
-So what happened?
-I showed up to her place
1266
00:56:56,891 --> 00:56:59,720
around noon, and instead of
my usual warm embrace,
1267
00:56:59,764 --> 00:57:01,896
I caught her
with another guy.
1268
00:57:01,940 --> 00:57:04,986
[Mel]
Whoa, okay,
that's pretty fucked up.
1269
00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:08,294
How long were you
guys together?
1270
00:57:08,337 --> 00:57:10,427
[Kevin]
Two years.
1271
00:57:10,470 --> 00:57:12,080
[Mel]
She fuck you on
the first date?
1272
00:57:14,213 --> 00:57:15,736
What did you expect?
1273
00:57:15,780 --> 00:57:18,043
Look, Kevin, you seem
like a really nice guy,
1274
00:57:18,086 --> 00:57:19,653
and there's nothing
wrong with that.
1275
00:57:19,697 --> 00:57:21,481
So she's fucking other
people right now.
1276
00:57:21,525 --> 00:57:24,092
It's fine, sometimes
that's just the way
1277
00:57:24,136 --> 00:57:26,268
people like to get down.
1278
00:57:26,312 --> 00:57:28,140
Supposed to make me
feel better? 'Cause it's not.
1279
00:57:28,183 --> 00:57:30,055
[Mel]
No, it's to make
you realize you can't
1280
00:57:30,098 --> 00:57:32,274
count on people to live up
to your expectations
1281
00:57:32,318 --> 00:57:34,233
because they never will.
1282
00:57:34,276 --> 00:57:36,975
Your ex knows you're a nice guy,
and if she were into that,
1283
00:57:37,018 --> 00:57:38,890
you'd be home face deep
in her crotch now
1284
00:57:38,933 --> 00:57:40,848
instead of standing here
talking to some dyke.
1285
00:57:41,936 --> 00:57:43,590
Brad write that
speech for you?
1286
00:57:44,591 --> 00:57:46,201
[Mel]
Your friend's a bitch.
1287
00:57:46,245 --> 00:57:48,465
He just doesn't know it yet.
1288
00:57:48,508 --> 00:57:51,119
Just be you.
It all works out in the end.
1289
00:57:52,860 --> 00:57:54,514
[female #6]
Hey, let's go.
1290
00:57:54,558 --> 00:57:56,473
This guy is such an asshole.
1291
00:57:56,516 --> 00:57:58,736
-Nice talking to you.
-Same here.
1292
00:58:02,130 --> 00:58:03,697
What did you say to her?
1293
00:58:03,741 --> 00:58:05,264
[Brad]
Nothing, I tried
to compliment her
1294
00:58:05,307 --> 00:58:07,484
on her setup, you know,
like Rod, shit backfired.
1295
00:58:07,527 --> 00:58:09,442
You told them my business.
1296
00:58:09,486 --> 00:58:10,574
What are you talking about?
1297
00:58:10,617 --> 00:58:12,967
[Kevin]
You told them about Michelle!
1298
00:58:13,011 --> 00:58:14,839
Dude, I was just trying
to get you involved.
1299
00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:17,015
It's fine, girls love
that shit, they eat it up.
1300
00:58:17,058 --> 00:58:19,496
[Kevin]
It's not fine, you've been
pulling this shit all day,
1301
00:58:19,539 --> 00:58:20,888
and I'm fucking tired of it.
1302
00:58:20,932 --> 00:58:22,629
[Brad]
What did she say to you?
1303
00:58:22,673 --> 00:58:25,197
What didn't she say, she was
like the lesbian Yoda.
1304
00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:27,329
Oh, man, would you relax,
stop fucking being a loser.
1305
00:58:27,373 --> 00:58:28,940
[Kevin]
I'm the loser,
you're the loser.
1306
00:58:28,983 --> 00:58:31,246
You've got the most
amazing wife at home
1307
00:58:31,290 --> 00:58:32,813
who fucking loves you,
1308
00:58:32,857 --> 00:58:35,294
yet you parade around this
place like you're single.
1309
00:58:35,337 --> 00:58:36,948
Hey, I may talk a lot of shit,
1310
00:58:36,991 --> 00:58:39,646
but I've never once
crossed the line.
1311
00:58:39,690 --> 00:58:41,474
This isn't even about me, man!
1312
00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:43,128
Okay, today has
been unbelievable,
1313
00:58:43,171 --> 00:58:44,999
and while we've all
been out having fun,
1314
00:58:45,043 --> 00:58:46,566
you've been MIA.
1315
00:58:46,610 --> 00:58:48,916
-I'm out of here.
-Good.
1316
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,963
Michelle cheated on you
because you're a pussy.
1317
00:58:52,006 --> 00:58:53,747
Fuck you, you're a
fucking scumbag.
1318
00:58:53,791 --> 00:58:55,662
[Brad]
Oh, yeah, fuck you,
you know what,
1319
00:58:55,706 --> 00:58:57,403
go find your crazy
bitch ex-girlfriend.
1320
00:58:57,446 --> 00:58:58,752
Good, maybe I will!
1321
00:58:58,796 --> 00:59:00,319
[Brad]
Yeah, go, maybe
she'll give you
1322
00:59:00,362 --> 00:59:02,364
a sympathy fuck, then what?
1323
00:59:02,408 --> 00:59:03,583
Don't start that
shit in here.
1324
00:59:03,627 --> 00:59:04,758
Oh, yeah?
1325
00:59:05,759 --> 00:59:07,805
You're all talk, bitch.
1326
00:59:07,848 --> 00:59:10,416
[heavy rock music]
1327
00:59:10,459 --> 00:59:12,984
♪
1328
00:59:13,027 --> 00:59:15,639
[male singer]
♪ Hey, hey, yeah
1329
00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:18,990
♪ Yeah, you rock me up
1330
00:59:19,033 --> 00:59:23,821
♪ Just to take me down, down,
down, down, down, down ♪
1331
00:59:23,864 --> 00:59:25,997
♪ Hey, hey, yeah ♪
1332
00:59:26,040 --> 00:59:28,347
♪
1333
00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:30,131
[indistinct chatter]
1334
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,569
Patrón.
1335
00:59:33,831 --> 00:59:35,528
What's good tonight?
1336
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:36,834
[male #3]
We have chicken.
1337
00:59:38,444 --> 00:59:39,967
The fuck is the
matter with you?
1338
00:59:40,011 --> 00:59:49,194
♪
1339
00:59:51,457 --> 00:59:54,025
[drumming]
1340
00:59:54,068 --> 00:59:56,070
♪
1341
00:59:56,114 --> 00:59:58,507
[rock music]
1342
00:59:58,551 --> 01:00:00,466
♪
1343
01:00:00,509 --> 01:00:01,641
Whoa, beautiful.
1344
01:00:01,685 --> 01:00:04,557
♪
1345
01:00:04,601 --> 01:00:07,604
[male singer]
♪ Cats droolin'
on the bar stools ♪
1346
01:00:07,647 --> 01:00:11,912
♪
1347
01:00:11,956 --> 01:00:13,218
Hey stranger.
1348
01:00:13,261 --> 01:00:14,436
♪
1349
01:00:14,480 --> 01:00:15,568
Hey.
1350
01:00:15,612 --> 01:00:18,049
♪
1351
01:00:18,092 --> 01:00:19,441
You don't remember me.
1352
01:00:19,485 --> 01:00:21,008
♪
1353
01:00:21,052 --> 01:00:22,270
Am I supposed to?
1354
01:00:22,314 --> 01:00:23,576
♪
1355
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,926
Samantha, class of '98.
1356
01:00:25,970 --> 01:00:30,888
♪
1357
01:00:30,931 --> 01:00:32,977
Oh my God, hey!
1358
01:00:33,020 --> 01:00:33,673
[laughing]
1359
01:00:33,717 --> 01:00:35,588
You look amazing.
1360
01:00:35,632 --> 01:00:37,721
Ah, thanks.
1361
01:00:37,764 --> 01:00:39,418
So do you.
1362
01:00:39,461 --> 01:00:40,419
Thank you.
1363
01:00:40,462 --> 01:00:41,463
♪
1364
01:00:41,507 --> 01:00:42,464
You know...
1365
01:00:42,508 --> 01:00:43,552
♪
1366
01:00:43,596 --> 01:00:44,815
I've had...
1367
01:00:44,858 --> 01:00:46,512
the biggest crush on you
1368
01:00:46,555 --> 01:00:48,601
since, like, sophomore year.
1369
01:00:48,645 --> 01:00:49,907
♪
1370
01:00:49,950 --> 01:00:51,648
How could I have
been so blind?
1371
01:00:51,691 --> 01:00:52,953
♪
1372
01:00:52,997 --> 01:00:54,607
Who cares?
1373
01:00:54,651 --> 01:00:55,608
You're right.
1374
01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:56,696
♪
1375
01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:58,916
-Who cares?
-Who cares?
1376
01:00:58,959 --> 01:01:00,918
Anyway, what do you say...
1377
01:01:00,961 --> 01:01:03,355
we get out of here and...
1378
01:01:03,398 --> 01:01:04,225
catch up?
1379
01:01:04,269 --> 01:01:05,879
[nervous laugh]
1380
01:01:05,923 --> 01:01:08,273
Oh, uh...
1381
01:01:08,316 --> 01:01:09,666
I'd love to, but, um...
1382
01:01:09,709 --> 01:01:10,754
♪
1383
01:01:10,797 --> 01:01:12,625
Got this little problem here.
1384
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:15,933
♪
1385
01:01:15,976 --> 01:01:17,238
I don't care.
1386
01:01:17,282 --> 01:01:18,239
♪
1387
01:01:18,283 --> 01:01:19,240
I'll never tell.
1388
01:01:19,284 --> 01:01:20,285
♪
1389
01:01:20,328 --> 01:01:22,504
[male singer]
♪ Is that you
1390
01:01:22,548 --> 01:01:24,724
♪ Crawlin' up my stairs
1391
01:01:24,768 --> 01:01:27,248
-♪ Is that you
-♪ Is that you
1392
01:01:27,292 --> 01:01:32,210
[male singer #1]
♪ Oh, tell me is that you
1393
01:01:32,253 --> 01:01:33,124
♪ Yeah
1394
01:01:33,167 --> 01:01:34,168
♪
1395
01:01:34,212 --> 01:01:36,605
♪ Ah, ah, yeah
1396
01:01:36,649 --> 01:01:39,696
[Brad]
Fuck it, my wife hasn't been
that into me lately anyway.
1397
01:01:39,739 --> 01:01:40,697
Come on.
1398
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:41,698
♪
1399
01:01:41,741 --> 01:01:43,656
[intense music]
1400
01:01:43,700 --> 01:01:45,049
♪
1401
01:01:45,092 --> 01:01:47,486
Who the fuck do you
think you are, huh?
1402
01:01:47,529 --> 01:01:48,748
No, no.
1403
01:01:48,792 --> 01:01:50,054
Think you can just
fuck another guy
1404
01:01:50,097 --> 01:01:51,620
in the middle of the day, huh?
1405
01:01:51,664 --> 01:01:53,013
You think you can
fuck another guy
1406
01:01:53,057 --> 01:01:55,233
in the middle of the day--
What kind of whore?
1407
01:01:55,276 --> 01:01:56,713
What kind of whore--no.
1408
01:01:56,756 --> 01:01:58,236
Well, listen, bitch!
1409
01:01:58,279 --> 01:01:58,976
Huh?
1410
01:01:59,019 --> 01:01:59,977
♪
1411
01:02:00,020 --> 01:02:01,456
Come on, Kevin, come on!
1412
01:02:01,500 --> 01:02:04,024
[muted rock music]
1413
01:02:04,068 --> 01:02:08,899
♪
1414
01:02:08,942 --> 01:02:10,683
[Brad]
What are we doing here?
1415
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:11,684
What am I doing?
1416
01:02:11,728 --> 01:02:13,033
What are we doing?
1417
01:02:13,077 --> 01:02:15,166
-What does this mean?
-Just relax.
1418
01:02:15,209 --> 01:02:18,952
I've been waiting
for this for so long.
1419
01:02:18,996 --> 01:02:20,998
[Brad]
Oh, I bet.
1420
01:02:21,041 --> 01:02:22,826
It's just, it's been
a really long time
1421
01:02:22,869 --> 01:02:24,523
since I've been with
a beautiful stranger.
1422
01:02:24,566 --> 01:02:26,003
I mean, not that we're
strangers, right?
1423
01:02:26,046 --> 01:02:27,439
[Samantha]
Hey.
1424
01:02:27,482 --> 01:02:28,701
There's nothing to worry about.
1425
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:32,792
♪
1426
01:02:32,836 --> 01:02:34,359
[Brad]
All right.
1427
01:02:34,402 --> 01:02:37,014
We can do this but
no kissing and no anal.
1428
01:02:37,057 --> 01:02:38,711
♪
1429
01:02:38,755 --> 01:02:41,888
[Samantha]
Oh, why no kissing, no anal?
1430
01:02:41,932 --> 01:02:42,933
[Brad]
Because it's only cheating
1431
01:02:42,976 --> 01:02:44,891
when you do those two things.
1432
01:02:44,935 --> 01:02:46,719
[Samantha]
How so?
1433
01:02:46,763 --> 01:02:48,025
[Brad]
Think about it, it's the first
1434
01:02:48,068 --> 01:02:49,809
and last thing
you do with a woman.
1435
01:02:49,853 --> 01:02:51,855
It's special,
I can't do that to my wife.
1436
01:02:51,898 --> 01:02:54,379
[Samantha]
That's so fucked up.
1437
01:02:54,422 --> 01:02:55,554
[nervous laugh]
1438
01:02:55,597 --> 01:02:56,685
♪
1439
01:02:56,729 --> 01:02:57,991
I don't care.
1440
01:02:58,035 --> 01:03:00,385
I'm gonna give you
the best head of all time.
1441
01:03:00,428 --> 01:03:02,735
[Brad]
Who could say no to
an offer like that?
1442
01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:06,260
♪
1443
01:03:06,304 --> 01:03:08,393
[intense music]
1444
01:03:08,436 --> 01:03:11,222
[dog barking]
1445
01:03:11,265 --> 01:03:17,968
♪
1446
01:03:18,011 --> 01:03:19,143
[angry grunt]
1447
01:03:19,186 --> 01:03:21,362
♪
1448
01:03:21,406 --> 01:03:22,755
Are you fucking nuts?
1449
01:03:22,799 --> 01:03:26,846
♪
1450
01:03:26,890 --> 01:03:27,804
[Michelle]
Yeah!
1451
01:03:27,847 --> 01:03:28,935
-Oh!
-Shit...
1452
01:03:28,979 --> 01:03:30,241
[Michelle]
Fuck!
1453
01:03:30,284 --> 01:03:33,070
Fuck me, you big,
black motherfucker!
1454
01:03:33,113 --> 01:03:34,201
-Yes, like that.
-Oh!
1455
01:03:34,245 --> 01:03:36,116
Oh, yeah!
1456
01:03:36,160 --> 01:03:37,596
Oh!
1457
01:03:37,639 --> 01:03:39,337
Oh, yeah!
1458
01:03:39,380 --> 01:03:41,034
-Oh, oh!
-I bet you like that shit.
1459
01:03:41,078 --> 01:03:43,080
-Oh yeah, oh yeah.
-Oh, oh!
1460
01:03:43,123 --> 01:03:44,864
-Fuck me, Hammer!
-Yeah!
1461
01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:47,519
Oh, I'm fuckin' you
for fuckin' Kunta Kinte.
1462
01:03:47,562 --> 01:03:50,043
-Do it for Kunta!
-Oh, fuck you, fuck you.
1463
01:03:50,087 --> 01:03:52,263
-Fuck you for Kunta!
-Ah, fuck me, Toby!
1464
01:03:52,306 --> 01:03:54,831
[Hammer]
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1465
01:03:54,874 --> 01:03:56,528
Say "Fuck me, Hammer,"
that's all I need.
1466
01:03:56,571 --> 01:03:57,442
[funky music]
1467
01:03:57,485 --> 01:03:58,486
[Michelle]
Sorry.
1468
01:03:59,531 --> 01:04:02,577
[rock music]
1469
01:04:02,621 --> 01:04:04,753
[Brad]
God damn, you have
a strong grip.
1470
01:04:04,797 --> 01:04:06,799
Were you a fuckin' gymnast?
1471
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:07,800
[Samantha]
Are you ready?
1472
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,671
♪
1473
01:04:09,715 --> 01:04:10,629
[Brad]
Take me.
1474
01:04:10,672 --> 01:04:14,459
♪
1475
01:04:14,502 --> 01:04:17,897
[Samantha]
You really don't remember me
from high school, do you?
1476
01:04:17,941 --> 01:04:18,767
[Brad]
Sure I do.
1477
01:04:18,811 --> 01:04:20,726
♪
1478
01:04:20,769 --> 01:04:22,902
[Samantha]
What's my last name?
1479
01:04:22,946 --> 01:04:24,469
[Brad]
Oh boy, I don't know, Moorhead?
1480
01:04:24,512 --> 01:04:26,427
I--look, I'm more of
a first name guy.
1481
01:04:26,471 --> 01:04:27,951
I've really never
been good with names.
1482
01:04:27,994 --> 01:04:30,214
So, come on, Sammy,
help me out here.
1483
01:04:30,257 --> 01:04:31,606
[Samantha]
Oh, I will.
1484
01:04:31,650 --> 01:04:32,956
♪
1485
01:04:32,999 --> 01:04:35,306
And my last name
is Robertson.
1486
01:04:35,349 --> 01:04:36,481
♪
1487
01:04:36,524 --> 01:04:39,353
Samantha Robertson.
1488
01:04:39,397 --> 01:04:41,529
[Brad]
Samantha Robertson.
1489
01:04:41,573 --> 01:04:43,053
I like that name.
1490
01:04:43,096 --> 01:04:44,837
Yeah, it's a good
Polynesian name.
1491
01:04:44,881 --> 01:04:47,971
♪
1492
01:04:48,014 --> 01:04:51,496
You know, I played hoops
with a guy named Sam Robertson.
1493
01:04:51,539 --> 01:04:52,410
A sophomore.
1494
01:04:52,453 --> 01:04:53,977
He was a great guy, but he had
1495
01:04:54,020 --> 01:04:55,717
this annoying mole
on his forehead.
1496
01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:57,154
♪
1497
01:04:57,197 --> 01:04:58,285
[Samantha]
Oh yeah?
1498
01:04:58,329 --> 01:04:58,982
♪
1499
01:04:59,025 --> 01:05:00,374
[awkward laugh]
1500
01:05:01,332 --> 01:05:02,942
[screams]
1501
01:05:02,986 --> 01:05:06,728
♪
1502
01:05:06,772 --> 01:05:08,730
[Brad]
Sam, what the fuck?
1503
01:05:08,774 --> 01:05:09,775
Is that you?
1504
01:05:09,818 --> 01:05:10,994
[Samantha]
Are--okay.
1505
01:05:11,037 --> 01:05:11,951
[Brad]
Are you gay?
1506
01:05:11,995 --> 01:05:12,865
Of course you're gay.
1507
01:05:12,909 --> 01:05:13,866
Do you have a cock?
1508
01:05:13,910 --> 01:05:15,085
Do you not have a cock?
1509
01:05:15,128 --> 01:05:17,000
[Samantha]
No, I, uh, I--I don't.
1510
01:05:17,043 --> 01:05:18,523
[Brad]
You were gonna suck my cock!
1511
01:05:18,566 --> 01:05:19,698
Does that make me gay?
1512
01:05:19,741 --> 01:05:20,829
I love cock!
1513
01:05:20,873 --> 01:05:21,874
[Samantha]
No, I don't--
1514
01:05:21,918 --> 01:05:23,180
I don't have a cock, okay?
1515
01:05:23,223 --> 01:05:25,182
I--I had an operation.
1516
01:05:25,225 --> 01:05:27,488
I'm all woman now.
1517
01:05:27,532 --> 01:05:29,012
[sighs]
1518
01:05:29,055 --> 01:05:30,578
[Brad]
It's only gay if you cum.
1519
01:05:30,622 --> 01:05:31,753
It's only gay if you cum.
1520
01:05:31,797 --> 01:05:32,754
It's only gay--why the fuck
1521
01:05:32,798 --> 01:05:33,625
didn't you tell me
1522
01:05:33,668 --> 01:05:34,756
in the first place?
1523
01:05:34,800 --> 01:05:35,670
[Samantha]
I don't know.
1524
01:05:35,714 --> 01:05:36,758
I guess I should have,
1525
01:05:36,802 --> 01:05:38,108
but I didn't think about it.
1526
01:05:38,151 --> 01:05:39,587
Okay? I've just always loved you
1527
01:05:39,631 --> 01:05:40,849
and really wanted this.
1528
01:05:40,893 --> 01:05:42,634
♪
1529
01:05:42,677 --> 01:05:43,417
[Brad]
What?
1530
01:05:43,461 --> 01:05:44,810
♪
1531
01:05:44,853 --> 01:05:45,898
Oh my God.
1532
01:05:45,942 --> 01:05:47,378
♪
1533
01:05:47,421 --> 01:05:49,641
That was your dick I felt
when you jumped on me
1534
01:05:49,684 --> 01:05:53,210
at the buzzer beater for the
league championship, wasn't it?
1535
01:05:53,253 --> 01:05:54,515
[Samantha]
That was a glorious moment
1536
01:05:54,559 --> 01:05:56,387
and I wanted to
share it with you.
1537
01:05:59,781 --> 01:06:01,479
[Brad]
Okay.
1538
01:06:01,522 --> 01:06:03,524
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
1539
01:06:03,568 --> 01:06:04,569
Okay.
1540
01:06:04,612 --> 01:06:05,613
[sentimental music]
1541
01:06:05,657 --> 01:06:08,007
I'm cool with who you are,
1542
01:06:08,051 --> 01:06:09,922
what you became or
whatever it is.
1543
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:10,923
♪
1544
01:06:10,967 --> 01:06:13,143
What a fuckin' night.
1545
01:06:13,186 --> 01:06:14,448
[Samantha]
I'm just, uh...
1546
01:06:14,492 --> 01:06:15,319
[nervous laugh]
1547
01:06:15,362 --> 01:06:16,581
I'm just really glad to see
1548
01:06:16,624 --> 01:06:18,061
that you have, like,
a human side,
1549
01:06:18,104 --> 01:06:20,019
and that you're cool with
1550
01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:22,630
all sexual orientations,
1551
01:06:22,674 --> 01:06:27,592
'cause this world is
really fucked up.
1552
01:06:27,635 --> 01:06:29,420
[Brad]
Yeah, I'm cool,
but that doesn't mean
1553
01:06:29,463 --> 01:06:32,249
I want to play hide the salami
with all of 'em, okay?
1554
01:06:32,292 --> 01:06:35,078
I'm a strictly woman
only guy, get it?
1555
01:06:35,121 --> 01:06:36,949
And that's women with vaginas--
1556
01:06:36,993 --> 01:06:37,906
from the beginning!
1557
01:06:37,950 --> 01:06:40,126
♪
1558
01:06:40,170 --> 01:06:42,085
[Samantha]
I get it.
1559
01:06:42,128 --> 01:06:44,957
Uh, thanks for being
understanding about it.
1560
01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,263
[Brad]
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
1561
01:06:46,306 --> 01:06:47,090
♪
1562
01:06:47,133 --> 01:06:48,265
[Samantha]
Sorry.
1563
01:06:48,308 --> 01:06:58,275
♪
1564
01:06:59,928 --> 01:07:00,799
[clears throat]
1565
01:07:00,842 --> 01:07:04,455
♪
1566
01:07:04,498 --> 01:07:06,848
[Brad]
All right, we should
get out of here.
1567
01:07:06,892 --> 01:07:07,806
[Samantha]
Okay.
1568
01:07:07,849 --> 01:07:11,810
♪
1569
01:07:11,853 --> 01:07:12,724
[Brad]
Sam...
1570
01:07:12,767 --> 01:07:13,594
♪
1571
01:07:13,638 --> 01:07:14,508
Antha.
1572
01:07:14,552 --> 01:07:17,642
♪
1573
01:07:17,685 --> 01:07:18,817
Go Falcons.
1574
01:07:18,860 --> 01:07:20,471
♪
1575
01:07:20,514 --> 01:07:22,647
[Samantha]
The 1996 League Championship
1576
01:07:22,690 --> 01:07:24,953
will always mean so much
more to me now.
1577
01:07:24,997 --> 01:07:26,085
♪
1578
01:07:26,129 --> 01:07:27,173
Go Falcons.
1579
01:07:27,217 --> 01:07:28,000
[slap hands]
1580
01:07:28,044 --> 01:07:33,092
♪
1581
01:07:33,136 --> 01:07:34,441
Yeah, it will.
1582
01:07:34,485 --> 01:07:39,620
♪
1583
01:07:39,664 --> 01:07:42,014
[spiritual music]
1584
01:07:42,058 --> 01:07:46,105
♪
1585
01:07:46,149 --> 01:07:49,761
[laughing]
1586
01:07:49,804 --> 01:07:52,851
Why the fuck didn't
you tell me inside?
1587
01:07:52,894 --> 01:07:53,895
[somber music]
1588
01:07:53,939 --> 01:08:00,946
♪
1589
01:08:00,989 --> 01:08:03,905
[phone vibrating]
1590
01:08:03,949 --> 01:08:14,090
♪
1591
01:08:23,751 --> 01:08:26,145
[rock music]
1592
01:08:26,189 --> 01:08:28,887
♪
1593
01:08:28,930 --> 01:08:29,583
Water.
1594
01:08:29,627 --> 01:08:31,237
♪
1595
01:08:31,281 --> 01:08:32,978
And some, uh, mints
if you got 'em.
1596
01:08:33,021 --> 01:08:35,285
♪
1597
01:08:35,328 --> 01:08:36,721
Maybe some hand sanitizer.
1598
01:08:36,764 --> 01:08:38,592
Do you have any of that?
1599
01:08:38,636 --> 01:08:42,161
[male singer]
♪ I'm your teacher of everything
that the demon-- ♪
1600
01:08:42,205 --> 01:08:44,990
♪
1601
01:08:45,033 --> 01:08:47,514
-You and I are not together.
-It does matter, it's our date.
1602
01:08:47,558 --> 01:08:50,126
-It--we are not on a date.
-Listen, it's bullshit.
1603
01:08:50,169 --> 01:08:51,431
-You're comin' with me.
-No, I'm not.
1604
01:08:51,475 --> 01:08:53,172
-Get in the fucking truck.
-Okay, look.
1605
01:08:53,216 --> 01:08:55,609
You're drunk, just
leave me alone.
1606
01:08:55,653 --> 01:08:57,481
-Will you let me go?
-Hey, let her go.
1607
01:08:57,524 --> 01:08:59,047
[male #4]
Mind your own business, asshole.
1608
01:08:59,091 --> 01:09:01,485
♪
1609
01:09:01,528 --> 01:09:02,703
[Kevin]
What's your problem, man?
1610
01:09:02,747 --> 01:09:03,791
That girl said no.
1611
01:09:03,835 --> 01:09:04,879
♪
1612
01:09:04,923 --> 01:09:06,098
I'll teach you to cockblock me,
1613
01:09:06,142 --> 01:09:07,447
you fuckin' asshole.
1614
01:09:07,491 --> 01:09:08,056
[kicks]
1615
01:09:08,100 --> 01:09:09,057
Fuck you.
1616
01:09:09,101 --> 01:09:13,236
♪
1617
01:09:13,279 --> 01:09:14,933
[slams door]
1618
01:09:14,976 --> 01:09:17,501
[starts engine]
1619
01:09:17,544 --> 01:09:22,593
♪
1620
01:09:22,636 --> 01:09:24,421
[male singer]
♪ Don't be afraid of the thing
1621
01:09:24,464 --> 01:09:27,424
that'll make you go
out of control ♪
1622
01:09:27,467 --> 01:09:29,991
♪ I'm your evil,
I'll get you to hell,
1623
01:09:30,035 --> 01:09:31,428
and in hell you know... ♪
1624
01:09:31,471 --> 01:09:34,822
♪
1625
01:09:34,866 --> 01:09:35,780
[cell phone dings]
1626
01:09:35,823 --> 01:09:37,825
♪
1627
01:09:37,869 --> 01:09:40,437
[sentimental music]
1628
01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:47,052
♪
1629
01:09:47,095 --> 01:09:49,141
[typing]
1630
01:09:49,185 --> 01:09:51,709
♪
1631
01:09:51,752 --> 01:09:53,885
[phone]
You have one unheard message.
1632
01:09:53,928 --> 01:09:55,626
[Brad]
Hey Kev, uh, buddy, it's Brad.
1633
01:09:55,669 --> 01:09:57,454
A guy almost just
blew me in the car,
1634
01:09:57,497 --> 01:09:59,238
and that's the least of my
worries right now.
1635
01:09:59,282 --> 01:10:02,285
I'm worried where you are, and I
don't know what to do about it.
1636
01:10:02,328 --> 01:10:03,286
I'm questioning
my gender identity
1637
01:10:03,329 --> 01:10:04,287
right now.
1638
01:10:04,330 --> 01:10:05,244
Please call me back.
1639
01:10:05,288 --> 01:10:06,550
Uh, thanks, bye.
1640
01:10:06,593 --> 01:10:08,987
[laughing]
1641
01:10:09,030 --> 01:10:18,953
♪
1642
01:10:21,347 --> 01:10:22,305
[female #8]
Hey, I am...
1643
01:10:22,348 --> 01:10:24,524
[laughing]
1644
01:10:24,568 --> 01:10:26,483
I--I'm really sorry
that happened.
1645
01:10:26,526 --> 01:10:27,745
Are--are you okay?
1646
01:10:27,788 --> 01:10:28,528
♪
1647
01:10:28,572 --> 01:10:30,530
[Kevin]
I am, I'm okay.
1648
01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:31,662
♪
1649
01:10:31,705 --> 01:10:32,489
Are you okay?
1650
01:10:32,532 --> 01:10:33,446
♪
1651
01:10:33,490 --> 01:10:34,665
[female #8]
I'm better now.
1652
01:10:34,708 --> 01:10:35,753
♪
1653
01:10:35,796 --> 01:10:37,494
Thanks for stepping
in like that.
1654
01:10:37,537 --> 01:10:38,669
[Kevin]
Oh...
1655
01:10:38,712 --> 01:10:40,192
♪
1656
01:10:40,236 --> 01:10:42,586
Look, I'm a nice guy.
1657
01:10:42,629 --> 01:10:44,283
I'm kind of a doormat,
it's my thing.
1658
01:10:44,327 --> 01:10:47,982
I'm already on the ground if you
want to walk all over me too.
1659
01:10:48,026 --> 01:10:50,028
[female #8]
What kind of talk is that?
1660
01:10:50,071 --> 01:10:51,725
You are such a gentleman.
1661
01:10:51,769 --> 01:10:52,726
♪
1662
01:10:52,770 --> 01:10:54,293
JD is an asshole.
1663
01:10:54,337 --> 01:10:55,294
♪
1664
01:10:55,338 --> 01:10:56,643
[Kevin]
JD?
1665
01:10:56,687 --> 01:10:57,165
[laughs]
1666
01:10:57,209 --> 01:10:58,341
Of course.
1667
01:10:58,384 --> 01:10:59,211
Why wouldn't that guy's
1668
01:10:59,255 --> 01:10:59,994
name be JD?
1669
01:11:00,038 --> 01:11:00,952
Pickup truck,
1670
01:11:00,995 --> 01:11:01,953
slappin' women around.
1671
01:11:01,996 --> 01:11:03,433
♪
1672
01:11:03,476 --> 01:11:04,999
[female #8]
Let me see your face.
1673
01:11:05,043 --> 01:11:06,349
♪
1674
01:11:06,392 --> 01:11:07,524
Let me see it.
1675
01:11:07,567 --> 01:11:09,090
♪
1676
01:11:09,134 --> 01:11:10,222
Oh, shit.
1677
01:11:10,266 --> 01:11:11,354
♪
1678
01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:12,920
[Kevin]
What, is it bad?
1679
01:11:12,964 --> 01:11:14,444
[female #8]
Um...
1680
01:11:14,487 --> 01:11:16,663
Just sit still for one second.
1681
01:11:16,707 --> 01:11:17,229
Okay?
1682
01:11:17,273 --> 01:11:18,752
♪
1683
01:11:18,796 --> 01:11:19,623
Here.
1684
01:11:19,666 --> 01:11:20,798
♪
1685
01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:22,016
Okay.
1686
01:11:22,060 --> 01:11:23,235
I'm Sarah, by the way.
1687
01:11:23,279 --> 01:11:24,541
-Hi.
-Okay.
1688
01:11:24,584 --> 01:11:25,455
♪
1689
01:11:25,498 --> 01:11:26,891
[Kevin]
Ow!
1690
01:11:26,934 --> 01:11:29,067
What the hell's the matter
with you, Sarah?
1691
01:11:29,110 --> 01:11:30,329
[Sarah]
Sorry.
1692
01:11:30,373 --> 01:11:31,765
I was readjusting your nose.
1693
01:11:31,809 --> 01:11:33,506
[Kevin]
What are you, a doctor?
1694
01:11:33,550 --> 01:11:35,247
[Sarah]
Um, sort of.
1695
01:11:35,291 --> 01:11:36,074
I'm a nurse.
1696
01:11:36,117 --> 01:11:38,163
♪
1697
01:11:38,206 --> 01:11:39,207
Okay.
1698
01:11:39,251 --> 01:11:42,254
♪
1699
01:11:42,298 --> 01:11:43,211
All right?
1700
01:11:43,255 --> 01:11:45,910
♪
1701
01:11:45,953 --> 01:11:47,390
[Kevin]
I'm Kevin.
1702
01:11:47,433 --> 01:11:48,782
[Sarah]
Pleased to meet you.
1703
01:11:49,783 --> 01:11:50,915
[laughs]
1704
01:11:52,699 --> 01:11:53,526
All right.
1705
01:11:58,531 --> 01:11:59,924
You're good as new.
1706
01:11:59,967 --> 01:12:01,099
[giggles]
1707
01:12:01,142 --> 01:12:02,318
[laughs]
1708
01:12:02,361 --> 01:12:03,623
[Kevin]
I mean...
1709
01:12:03,667 --> 01:12:06,322
♪
1710
01:12:06,365 --> 01:12:07,584
Sorry I yelled at you.
1711
01:12:07,627 --> 01:12:08,411
♪
1712
01:12:08,454 --> 01:12:09,934
Don't be.
1713
01:12:09,977 --> 01:12:10,935
I know it hurts.
1714
01:12:10,978 --> 01:12:14,939
♪
1715
01:12:14,982 --> 01:12:16,593
Can I ask you a question?
1716
01:12:16,636 --> 01:12:17,811
[Sarah]
Yeah.
1717
01:12:17,855 --> 01:12:19,639
You seem like a
really nice girl.
1718
01:12:19,683 --> 01:12:20,858
♪
1719
01:12:20,901 --> 01:12:22,947
Why do you go for
an asshole like that?
1720
01:12:22,990 --> 01:12:23,948
♪
1721
01:12:23,991 --> 01:12:25,166
[laughs]
1722
01:12:25,210 --> 01:12:26,385
No, I wasn't with him.
1723
01:12:26,429 --> 01:12:27,778
We just went on a few dates,
1724
01:12:27,821 --> 01:12:30,171
and he happened to
be at the bar tonight.
1725
01:12:30,215 --> 01:12:32,304
He's not really my type.
1726
01:12:32,348 --> 01:12:34,959
♪
1727
01:12:35,002 --> 01:12:36,047
Thanks for patching me up.
1728
01:12:36,090 --> 01:12:37,048
♪
1729
01:12:37,091 --> 01:12:37,744
Yeah.
1730
01:12:37,788 --> 01:12:39,398
♪
1731
01:12:39,442 --> 01:12:41,008
All right.
1732
01:12:41,052 --> 01:12:42,183
Can I buy you a drink?
1733
01:12:42,227 --> 01:12:43,184
♪
1734
01:12:43,228 --> 01:12:44,360
No thanks.
1735
01:12:47,972 --> 01:12:49,365
How 'bout I buy you one?
1736
01:12:51,018 --> 01:12:53,369
[mellow music]
1737
01:12:53,412 --> 01:12:55,327
♪
1738
01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:56,154
Yeah?
1739
01:12:56,197 --> 01:12:57,111
Okay.
1740
01:12:57,155 --> 01:12:59,244
♪
1741
01:12:59,287 --> 01:13:00,811
Uh, so what should we have?
1742
01:13:00,854 --> 01:13:03,074
I don't know, uh,
a shot of Patrón?
1743
01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:04,641
♪
1744
01:13:04,684 --> 01:13:07,644
-Really?
-If that's okay with you.
1745
01:13:07,687 --> 01:13:09,733
Yeah, that's okay with me.
1746
01:13:09,776 --> 01:13:11,169
-Okay.
-Of course.
1747
01:13:11,212 --> 01:13:12,431
♪
1748
01:13:12,475 --> 01:13:13,693
[Brad]
Kev!
1749
01:13:13,737 --> 01:13:14,520
Kev!
1750
01:13:14,564 --> 01:13:15,652
Dude, have I got a story--
1751
01:13:15,695 --> 01:13:16,783
but what the fuck
1752
01:13:16,827 --> 01:13:17,610
happened to you?
1753
01:13:17,654 --> 01:13:19,612
Nothin', why?
1754
01:13:19,656 --> 01:13:22,485
-Do you want a lime, Kevin?
-No thanks.
1755
01:13:22,528 --> 01:13:24,008
Sarah, this is my
best friend Brad.
1756
01:13:24,051 --> 01:13:25,313
Brad, this is Sarah.
1757
01:13:25,357 --> 01:13:26,184
Hi.
1758
01:13:26,227 --> 01:13:27,011
[Brad]
Hey.
1759
01:13:27,054 --> 01:13:28,882
♪
1760
01:13:28,926 --> 01:13:31,189
Dude, I am so sorry for being
such an asshole earlier.
1761
01:13:31,232 --> 01:13:33,713
It almost came back to haunt me
as my first gay experience,
1762
01:13:33,757 --> 01:13:35,715
which in hindsight I don't think
I was totally against.
1763
01:13:35,759 --> 01:13:37,325
-Maybe I'm a democrat after all.
-Brad.
1764
01:13:37,369 --> 01:13:38,718
♪
1765
01:13:38,762 --> 01:13:40,459
Don't worry about it, man.
1766
01:13:40,503 --> 01:13:42,200
Thank you.
1767
01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:43,201
So what was that story?
1768
01:13:43,244 --> 01:13:45,333
♪
1769
01:13:45,377 --> 01:13:48,162
[Brad]
I'll tell you about it
in the morning, okay?
1770
01:13:48,206 --> 01:13:49,903
Here we go.
1771
01:13:49,947 --> 01:13:51,905
[Samantha]
There you are, I've been
looking everywhere for you.
1772
01:13:51,949 --> 01:13:53,341
[Sarah]
Oh, hey babe. Guys,
1773
01:13:53,385 --> 01:13:54,691
this is my
girlfriend Samantha.
1774
01:13:54,734 --> 01:13:56,388
♪
1775
01:13:56,432 --> 01:13:59,043
-I'm Kevin, and this is my--
-Oh, Sam and I go way back.
1776
01:13:59,086 --> 01:14:01,219
Uh, yeah, we're--Bobby,
we're gonna need
1777
01:14:01,262 --> 01:14:02,350
one more shot for him.
1778
01:14:02,394 --> 01:14:03,787
I mean her, I meant her.
1779
01:14:03,830 --> 01:14:05,441
♪
1780
01:14:05,484 --> 01:14:06,267
Thanks.
1781
01:14:06,311 --> 01:14:07,704
♪
1782
01:14:07,747 --> 01:14:09,575
So what are we toasting to?
1783
01:14:09,619 --> 01:14:11,534
To my hero.
1784
01:14:11,577 --> 01:14:13,274
The St. Jude Falcons.
1785
01:14:13,318 --> 01:14:14,188
To my best friend.
1786
01:14:14,232 --> 01:14:15,712
♪
1787
01:14:15,755 --> 01:14:17,757
Here's to the best
Thanksgiving ever.
1788
01:14:17,801 --> 01:14:23,459
♪
1789
01:14:23,502 --> 01:14:24,372
[clearing throat]
1790
01:14:24,416 --> 01:14:27,506
♪
1791
01:14:27,550 --> 01:14:28,464
Oh...
1792
01:14:28,507 --> 01:14:30,248
♪
1793
01:14:30,291 --> 01:14:31,728
I think I'm gonna sing a song.
1794
01:14:31,771 --> 01:14:34,426
♪
1795
01:14:34,470 --> 01:14:35,122
Yeah.
1796
01:14:35,166 --> 01:14:37,603
♪
1797
01:14:37,647 --> 01:14:39,344
[male singer]
♪ Oh yeah ♪
1798
01:14:39,387 --> 01:14:41,389
♪
1799
01:14:41,433 --> 01:14:42,739
[murmur of conversation]
1800
01:14:42,782 --> 01:14:44,610
[DJ]
All right, comin' up next...
1801
01:14:44,654 --> 01:14:45,916
[Sarah]
Is he a good singer?
1802
01:14:45,959 --> 01:14:47,570
[Kevin]
Well, he's a unique singer.
1803
01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:50,442
[DJ]
Singin' a tender love ballad
1804
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:51,574
close to my heart.
1805
01:14:52,531 --> 01:14:54,054
Give it up for Brad!
1806
01:14:54,098 --> 01:14:58,102
[applause and cheering]
1807
01:14:58,145 --> 01:15:00,452
[Brad]
This one goes out to a couple
of special friends
1808
01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:01,366
of mine tonight.
1809
01:15:01,409 --> 01:15:02,585
[jazzy music]
1810
01:15:02,628 --> 01:15:04,151
Thank you all for comin'
out tonight.
1811
01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:05,544
Thank you very much.
1812
01:15:05,588 --> 01:15:06,980
Especially you in
the green coat.
1813
01:15:07,024 --> 01:15:11,724
♪
1814
01:15:11,768 --> 01:15:15,119
♪ Blow me
1815
01:15:15,162 --> 01:15:19,471
♪ You hardly even
know me ♪
1816
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:23,127
♪ Just set yourself below me
1817
01:15:23,170 --> 01:15:26,043
♪ And blow me
1818
01:15:26,086 --> 01:15:27,827
♪ Tonight
1819
01:15:27,871 --> 01:15:29,481
[Sarah]
Is this guy for real?
1820
01:15:29,525 --> 01:15:31,614
I am afraid so.
1821
01:15:31,657 --> 01:15:33,398
[Sarah]
Kind of sounds like Sinatra, no?
1822
01:15:33,441 --> 01:15:34,442
[Kevin]
No.
1823
01:15:34,486 --> 01:15:36,140
No.
1824
01:15:36,183 --> 01:15:40,536
♪ When you part your
lips that way ♪
1825
01:15:40,579 --> 01:15:44,365
♪ Ooh, I want you
night and day ♪
1826
01:15:44,409 --> 01:15:47,630
-♪ Want you night and day
-♪ When you squeeze
1827
01:15:47,673 --> 01:15:49,153
my balls so tight ♪
1828
01:15:49,196 --> 01:15:50,676
[backup singers]
♪ Balls so tight
1829
01:15:50,720 --> 01:15:53,679
[Brad]
♪ I want to blow my load
1830
01:15:53,723 --> 01:15:55,420
with all my might ♪
1831
01:15:55,463 --> 01:15:59,076
♪ So blow me
1832
01:15:59,119 --> 01:16:03,820
♪ You hardly even know me
1833
01:16:03,863 --> 01:16:07,345
♪ So blow me
1834
01:16:07,388 --> 01:16:08,738
Get 'em, Sam!
1835
01:16:08,781 --> 01:16:13,525
♪ You've gotta blow me
1836
01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:17,834
♪ So blow me
1837
01:16:17,877 --> 01:16:23,361
♪ Blow me tonight ♪
1838
01:16:23,404 --> 01:16:24,449
Yeah!
1839
01:16:24,492 --> 01:16:27,844
♪
1840
01:16:27,887 --> 01:16:30,281
You know, next time I think
I'll sing "How's Your Hole?"
1841
01:16:30,324 --> 01:16:32,849
[mellow music]
1842
01:16:32,892 --> 01:16:33,980
-All right.
-Sing it.
1843
01:16:34,024 --> 01:16:35,286
♪
1844
01:16:35,329 --> 01:16:37,288
[Sarah]
Um, well, it was great
meeting you.
1845
01:16:37,331 --> 01:16:38,550
[Brad]
Right, you too.
1846
01:16:38,594 --> 01:16:40,639
♪
1847
01:16:40,683 --> 01:16:42,162
Take care of my boy here.
1848
01:16:42,206 --> 01:16:43,511
He's fragile.
1849
01:16:43,555 --> 01:16:44,817
I think I can handle it.
1850
01:16:44,861 --> 01:16:46,210
I'll see you in a minute.
1851
01:16:46,253 --> 01:16:49,430
♪
1852
01:16:49,474 --> 01:16:52,042
[Brad]
So, uh, guess I'll see you
tomorrow, buddy.
1853
01:16:52,085 --> 01:16:52,912
♪
1854
01:16:52,956 --> 01:16:54,044
[Kevin]
You got it.
1855
01:16:54,087 --> 01:16:56,481
♪
1856
01:16:56,524 --> 01:16:57,221
Hey.
1857
01:16:57,264 --> 01:16:58,875
♪
1858
01:16:58,918 --> 01:17:00,224
Thanks for everything, man.
1859
01:17:00,267 --> 01:17:03,662
♪
1860
01:17:03,706 --> 01:17:04,881
[Brad]
Thank you, bro.
1861
01:17:04,924 --> 01:17:07,057
♪
1862
01:17:07,100 --> 01:17:08,406
Love you, pal.
1863
01:17:08,449 --> 01:17:10,234
[Kevin]
Okay.
1864
01:17:10,277 --> 01:17:14,934
-Get in there.
-♪ The way I am about you
1865
01:17:14,978 --> 01:17:19,330
♪ And the madness
I go through ♪
1866
01:17:20,810 --> 01:17:27,077
♪ In a twilight moment
1867
01:17:27,120 --> 01:17:33,692
♪ Where love was
once life for me ♪
1868
01:17:33,736 --> 01:17:35,259
♪
1869
01:17:35,302 --> 01:17:41,918
♪ Now the corner neon lights
up my mood ♪
1870
01:17:41,961 --> 01:17:44,703
♪
1871
01:17:44,747 --> 01:17:46,618
[breathing into hand]
1872
01:17:46,662 --> 01:17:50,448
♪ Melancholy mood
1873
01:17:50,491 --> 01:17:54,104
♪ Love is so impractical
1874
01:17:54,147 --> 01:17:55,758
♪
1875
01:17:55,801 --> 01:18:04,288
♪ As I keep myself
waiting for you ♪
1876
01:18:04,331 --> 01:18:07,204
♪ In the deepness
of this moment ♪♪
1877
01:18:07,247 --> 01:18:08,031
[Liz]
Oh.
1878
01:18:08,074 --> 01:18:08,727
♪
1879
01:18:08,771 --> 01:18:10,424
Mm...
1880
01:18:10,468 --> 01:18:14,428
-Hi, baby.
-Hey, I'm so sorry to wake you.
1881
01:18:14,472 --> 01:18:15,603
[Liz]
That's okay.
1882
01:18:15,647 --> 01:18:17,867
♪
1883
01:18:17,910 --> 01:18:20,086
Anything exciting
happen tonight?
1884
01:18:20,130 --> 01:18:20,870
♪
1885
01:18:20,913 --> 01:18:22,610
[Brad]
Nah.
1886
01:18:22,654 --> 01:18:24,047
It was lame.
1887
01:18:24,090 --> 01:18:25,918
It seems like everywhere
you go in this town,
1888
01:18:25,962 --> 01:18:28,312
you run into all
the same people.
1889
01:18:28,355 --> 01:18:30,053
Same old.
1890
01:18:30,096 --> 01:18:31,619
[Liz]
Sometimes it's a good thing.
1891
01:18:31,663 --> 01:18:32,925
♪
1892
01:18:32,969 --> 01:18:34,448
[Brad]
Yeah, and sometimes it's not.
1893
01:18:34,492 --> 01:18:36,320
♪
1894
01:18:36,363 --> 01:18:37,538
[Liz]
I'm sorry.
1895
01:18:37,582 --> 01:18:38,844
[Brad]
It's okay.
1896
01:18:38,888 --> 01:18:41,107
I'm just so happy to be
here with you right now.
1897
01:18:41,151 --> 01:18:43,849
♪
1898
01:18:43,893 --> 01:18:46,112
[Liz]
We'll have sex in
the morning, Brad.
1899
01:18:46,156 --> 01:18:48,375
♪
1900
01:18:48,419 --> 01:18:49,986
[Brad]
Oh, of course.
1901
01:18:50,029 --> 01:18:51,335
[Liz]
Thank you.
1902
01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:56,732
♪
1903
01:18:56,775 --> 01:18:57,776
[Brad]
Are you sure?
1904
01:18:57,820 --> 01:18:59,430
♪
1905
01:18:59,473 --> 01:19:01,345
[Liz]
Yes, I'm sure.
1906
01:19:01,388 --> 01:19:05,349
So you can stop poking me
in the side with your dick.
1907
01:19:05,392 --> 01:19:06,306
[Brad]
Okay.
1908
01:19:06,350 --> 01:19:07,177
Goodnight.
1909
01:19:07,220 --> 01:19:09,048
♪
1910
01:19:17,622 --> 01:19:18,666
-You're positive?
-Brad!
1911
01:19:18,710 --> 01:19:19,755
[Brad]
Love you.
1912
01:19:25,848 --> 01:19:28,372
[upbeat music]
1913
01:19:28,415 --> 01:19:32,245
♪
1914
01:19:32,289 --> 01:19:33,464
[Sarah]
Did you sleep well?
1915
01:19:33,507 --> 01:19:35,858
♪
1916
01:19:35,901 --> 01:19:37,729
[Kevin]
The best sleep I've had in days.
1917
01:19:37,773 --> 01:19:39,818
♪
1918
01:19:39,862 --> 01:19:41,864
I should play the accidental
hero more often.
1919
01:19:41,907 --> 01:19:43,430
[giggling]
1920
01:19:43,474 --> 01:19:44,518
[Sarah]
How's your nose?
1921
01:19:44,562 --> 01:19:46,259
♪
1922
01:19:46,303 --> 01:19:48,044
[Kevin]
It's a little sore, but, uh,
1923
01:19:48,087 --> 01:19:49,480
I think I'm gonna make it.
1924
01:19:49,523 --> 01:19:50,133
[Sarah]
Yeah?
1925
01:19:50,176 --> 01:19:51,830
♪
1926
01:19:51,874 --> 01:19:52,700
What time is it?
1927
01:19:52,744 --> 01:19:55,051
♪
1928
01:19:55,094 --> 01:19:56,835
[Kevin]
It's almost 9:30.
1929
01:19:56,879 --> 01:19:57,749
[Sarah]
Ugh...
1930
01:19:57,793 --> 01:19:59,316
I have to get to work.
1931
01:19:59,359 --> 01:20:01,187
[Kevin]
You have to work the day
after Thanksgiving?
1932
01:20:01,231 --> 01:20:03,407
[Sarah]
Mm-hm. A nurse's work
is never done.
1933
01:20:03,450 --> 01:20:05,757
[male singer]
♪ I'm not dreamin' away
1934
01:20:05,801 --> 01:20:07,454
♪
1935
01:20:07,498 --> 01:20:09,630
♪ I'm not fantasizin'
1936
01:20:09,674 --> 01:20:11,110
♪
1937
01:20:11,154 --> 01:20:13,199
♪ There's that thing
that's for sure
1938
01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:14,940
that knock
on the door ♪
1939
01:20:14,984 --> 01:20:17,290
♪ That very look on that face
1940
01:20:17,334 --> 01:20:19,858
♪
1941
01:20:19,902 --> 01:20:21,773
[Sarah]
You know, I can't
thank you enough
1942
01:20:21,817 --> 01:20:23,644
for how you saved me last night.
1943
01:20:23,688 --> 01:20:25,472
[Kevin]
Actually...
1944
01:20:25,516 --> 01:20:26,952
it was you that saved me.
1945
01:20:26,996 --> 01:20:28,084
[Sarah]
How so?
1946
01:20:28,127 --> 01:20:29,085
♪
1947
01:20:29,128 --> 01:20:30,782
[Kevin]
You just did.
1948
01:20:30,826 --> 01:20:31,696
[giggles]
1949
01:20:31,739 --> 01:20:33,916
♪
1950
01:20:33,959 --> 01:20:36,440
[male singer]
♪ I get a feeling
and it wakes me ♪
1951
01:20:36,483 --> 01:20:38,311
-Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-♪ Like morning light
1952
01:20:38,355 --> 01:20:40,313
[Kevin]
I thought that you had
to go to work.
1953
01:20:40,357 --> 01:20:41,967
[Sarah]
Not if it's an emergency.
1954
01:20:42,011 --> 01:20:43,273
[Kevin]
Oh yeah?
1955
01:20:43,316 --> 01:20:45,579
[male singer]
♪ Save me
1956
01:20:45,623 --> 01:20:46,929
♪ One last time
1957
01:20:46,972 --> 01:20:52,325
♪ You open wide
and let it all begin ♪
1958
01:20:52,369 --> 01:20:53,413
♪
1959
01:20:53,457 --> 01:20:57,200
♪ Love's knockin' on my door
1960
01:20:57,243 --> 01:21:01,117
♪ Like it's never done before
1961
01:21:01,160 --> 01:21:03,119
♪ Love's comin' on
1962
01:21:03,162 --> 01:21:05,904
♪ Love's comin' on home ♪
1963
01:21:05,948 --> 01:21:08,037
♪
1964
01:21:09,299 --> 01:21:11,649
[rock music]
1965
01:21:11,692 --> 01:21:17,742
♪
1966
01:21:17,785 --> 01:21:20,005
[grunting]
1967
01:21:20,049 --> 01:21:21,833
-Yeah, oh!
-Who the fuck is your--
1968
01:21:21,877 --> 01:21:22,834
[male #5]
Cut, cut.
1969
01:21:22,878 --> 01:21:25,054
-Oh my God.
-Cut!
1970
01:21:25,097 --> 01:21:27,491
[male singer]
♪ You can't be the singer
1971
01:21:27,534 --> 01:21:30,015
He a Boy Scout, he say, "Oh,
I gotta help my friend."
1972
01:21:30,059 --> 01:21:33,149
You got your ass kicked,
that's what happened.
1973
01:21:33,192 --> 01:21:34,977
[male singer]
♪ You can't be the groupie
1974
01:21:35,020 --> 01:21:36,369
What? Do I want a drink?
1975
01:21:36,413 --> 01:21:37,501
♪
1976
01:21:37,544 --> 01:21:38,502
Got an idea.
1977
01:21:38,545 --> 01:21:40,678
♪
1978
01:21:40,721 --> 01:21:42,941
[male singer]
♪ I was the nerd guy
1979
01:21:42,985 --> 01:21:45,335
♪ Now I'm the cool guy
1980
01:21:45,378 --> 01:21:46,727
Well...
1981
01:21:46,771 --> 01:21:48,773
Without the olive, I don't
know what we got there.
1982
01:21:48,816 --> 01:21:50,993
[male singer]
♪ Done everything wrong
1983
01:21:51,036 --> 01:21:53,865
♪ Except my good songs
1984
01:21:53,909 --> 01:21:54,735
You know what?
1985
01:21:54,779 --> 01:21:59,697
♪
1986
01:21:59,740 --> 01:22:01,742
Get rid of these glasses,
I don't want people
1987
01:22:01,786 --> 01:22:03,353
-to think I got a problem.
-As if.
1988
01:22:03,396 --> 01:22:06,008
-There you go.
-♪ Where am I goin', sucker?
1989
01:22:06,051 --> 01:22:07,923
[male singer]
♪ What am I thinkin'?
1990
01:22:07,966 --> 01:22:09,794
I'm lookin' for a pussy.
1991
01:22:09,837 --> 01:22:11,665
I'm lookin' for as much
pussy as I can.
1992
01:22:11,709 --> 01:22:13,058
I've circled pussy,
1993
01:22:13,102 --> 01:22:15,017
and I got it lined up here.
1994
01:22:15,060 --> 01:22:16,496
That's what I'm lookin' for.
1995
01:22:16,540 --> 01:22:17,889
-Pussy.
-♪ Just the slippers
1996
01:22:17,933 --> 01:22:19,891
and the shamers hang around ♪
1997
01:22:19,935 --> 01:22:21,893
[Bruce]
Everyone's gonna see you naked.
1998
01:22:21,937 --> 01:22:23,416
[Marc]
Your vagine, your birth canal,
1999
01:22:23,460 --> 01:22:26,245
your cat purse,
pussy says meow.
2000
01:22:26,289 --> 01:22:27,899
It's disgusting, sweetie.
2001
01:22:27,943 --> 01:22:29,074
-Tits ahoy.
-You need--
2002
01:22:29,118 --> 01:22:30,771
-You need--
-Down to your poop deck.
2003
01:22:30,815 --> 01:22:31,990
[Marc]
Poopdeck Pappy.
2004
01:22:32,034 --> 01:22:33,426
You need some pride.
2005
01:22:33,470 --> 01:22:35,341
-Pappy?
-Pappy.
2006
01:22:35,385 --> 01:22:37,082
[Bruce]
They're not gonna see that.
2007
01:22:37,126 --> 01:22:38,475
[Marc]
Cat purse.
2008
01:22:39,476 --> 01:22:41,217
Pussy says meow.
2009
01:22:41,260 --> 01:22:43,045
[male singer]
♪ Nothin' normal 'bout the life
2010
01:22:43,088 --> 01:22:44,872
on the planet Rock On ♪
2011
01:22:44,916 --> 01:22:46,613
[Rod]
Kelly!
2012
01:22:46,657 --> 01:22:47,745
Yeah, get--get--
2013
01:22:47,788 --> 01:22:48,746
♪
2014
01:22:48,789 --> 01:22:50,400
Kelly!
2015
01:22:50,443 --> 01:22:51,227
Kelly!
2016
01:22:51,270 --> 01:22:52,663
♪
2017
01:22:52,706 --> 01:22:53,838
-Bitch can't hear.
-Kelly!
2018
01:22:53,881 --> 01:22:55,840
-Kelly!
-The fuck is wrong with--
2019
01:22:55,883 --> 01:22:57,494
I'm sorry, Rod, it's your club.
2020
01:22:57,537 --> 01:22:58,756
♪
2021
01:22:58,799 --> 01:23:00,671
[laughing]
2022
01:23:00,714 --> 01:23:02,151
♪
2023
01:23:02,194 --> 01:23:04,936
[male singer]
♪ Done everything wrong
2024
01:23:04,980 --> 01:23:06,024
[Brad]
Does that tickle?
2025
01:23:06,068 --> 01:23:07,373
Does that tickle?
2026
01:23:07,417 --> 01:23:09,201
♪
2027
01:23:09,245 --> 01:23:11,421
[male singer]
♪ Come on, come on
2028
01:23:11,464 --> 01:23:17,427
[Tarzan yell]
2029
01:23:17,470 --> 01:23:18,732
[playing kazoo]
2030
01:23:18,776 --> 01:23:22,040
♪
2031
01:23:22,084 --> 01:23:24,173
[hocking loogie]
2032
01:23:24,216 --> 01:23:25,696
[male #6]
Arabic [unintelligible] man.
2033
01:23:25,739 --> 01:23:26,566
[hocking loogie]
2034
01:23:26,610 --> 01:23:28,264
[high-pitched noise]
2035
01:23:28,307 --> 01:23:29,308
♪
2036
01:23:29,352 --> 01:23:31,832
[male singer]
♪ Porn star
2037
01:23:31,876 --> 01:23:33,051
Oh, oh...
2038
01:23:33,095 --> 01:23:34,792
[laughing and whimpering]
2039
01:23:34,835 --> 01:23:36,402
What's Liz gonna say?
2040
01:23:36,446 --> 01:23:37,621
That was kooky.
2041
01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:39,014
♪
2042
01:23:39,057 --> 01:23:41,364
[laughing]
2043
01:23:41,407 --> 01:23:44,802
-Morning, handsome.
-Get the fuck out of here.
2044
01:23:44,845 --> 01:23:50,547
♪
2045
01:23:50,590 --> 01:23:52,157
[flatulent noise]
2046
01:23:52,201 --> 01:23:53,898
[Liz]
Ugh...
2047
01:23:53,941 --> 01:23:55,030
Really?
2048
01:23:55,073 --> 01:23:58,120
♪
2049
01:23:58,163 --> 01:24:01,993
[laughing]
2050
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:03,821
-What is that?
-[laughing]
2051
01:24:03,864 --> 01:24:06,998
[male singer]
♪ Things that I want
to rant on ♪
2052
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:09,827
[making nonsensical noises]
2053
01:24:09,870 --> 01:24:12,438
[yelping]
2054
01:24:12,482 --> 01:24:15,006
♪
2055
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,488
Hut, hut, hut, hut, hut!
2056
01:24:18,531 --> 01:24:21,012
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
2057
01:24:21,056 --> 01:24:22,318
Woo!
2058
01:24:22,361 --> 01:24:25,712
-I love you.
-♪ Done everything wrong
2059
01:24:25,756 --> 01:24:27,018
♪ Except my good song
2060
01:24:27,062 --> 01:24:28,846
[male #7]
Okay, now do a climax.
2061
01:24:28,889 --> 01:24:31,153
[laughing]
2062
01:24:31,196 --> 01:24:33,720
[male singer]
♪ I'm your rockstar
2063
01:24:34,982 --> 01:24:36,332
[Margret]
Okay.
2064
01:24:36,375 --> 01:24:37,420
♪
2065
01:24:37,463 --> 01:24:38,029
[sighs]
2066
01:24:38,073 --> 01:24:41,511
[laughing]
2067
01:24:41,554 --> 01:24:43,730
I just want to say on
a personal note...
2068
01:24:43,774 --> 01:24:44,862
♪
2069
01:24:44,905 --> 01:24:45,863
-Cut.
-Thank you so...
2070
01:24:45,906 --> 01:24:48,126
[laughing]
2071
01:24:48,170 --> 01:24:50,781
[male singer]
♪ I am your rockstar
2072
01:24:50,824 --> 01:24:52,739
♪ Porn star
2073
01:24:52,783 --> 01:24:55,177
♪ Shockstar in one
2074
01:24:55,220 --> 01:24:56,656
♪ Oh yeah
2075
01:24:56,700 --> 01:24:59,355
[backup singers]
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
2076
01:24:59,398 --> 01:25:03,141
♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
2077
01:25:03,185 --> 01:25:04,273
[male singer]
♪ Hey
2078
01:25:04,316 --> 01:25:07,058
♪ I'll be your rockstar
2079
01:25:07,102 --> 01:25:08,973
♪ Porn star
2080
01:25:09,016 --> 01:25:11,715
♪ Shockstar,
oh, oh ♪
2081
01:25:11,758 --> 01:25:12,498
♪ Oh, oh
2082
01:25:12,542 --> 01:25:14,631
♪ Am I your rockstar
2083
01:25:14,674 --> 01:25:15,284
Woo!
2084
01:25:15,327 --> 01:25:17,155
♪ Porn star
2085
01:25:17,199 --> 01:25:19,766
♪ Shockstar, oh, oh
2086
01:25:19,810 --> 01:25:21,377
♪ Hey, yeah, yeah
2087
01:25:21,420 --> 01:25:23,161
♪ Rockstar ♪
2088
01:25:23,205 --> 01:25:24,423
♪
2089
01:25:37,654 --> 01:25:40,004
[grunting]
2090
01:25:40,047 --> 01:25:43,094
[sobbing]
2091
01:25:43,138 --> 01:25:44,400
[dramatic music]
2092
01:25:44,443 --> 01:25:47,229
[Mike]
Good afternoon, everybody!
2093
01:25:47,272 --> 01:25:49,100
[Terry]
I love this song, by the way.
2094
01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:51,276
[Mike]
I'm Mike, that's Terry.
2095
01:25:51,320 --> 01:25:52,538
[Terry]
Hi.
2096
01:25:52,582 --> 01:25:53,670
♪
2097
01:25:53,713 --> 01:25:56,107
[Mike]
And we do radio in Detroit.
2098
01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,239
[Terry]
Of all places.
2099
01:25:57,282 --> 01:25:58,936
[grunting]
2100
01:25:58,979 --> 01:26:00,677
♪
2101
01:26:00,720 --> 01:26:03,506
[Mike] Okay, gonna be a good day today.
2102
01:26:03,549 --> 01:26:06,900
[laughing]
2103
01:26:06,944 --> 01:26:08,032
[Terry]
Mike, stop.
2104
01:26:08,075 --> 01:26:09,338
Someone just tweeted me
a picture
2105
01:26:09,381 --> 01:26:11,949
of Ray Charles
as a referee...
2106
01:26:11,992 --> 01:26:13,255
-No, no.
-In the end zone.
2107
01:26:13,298 --> 01:26:14,125
[Mike]
No.
2108
01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:14,865
[laughing]
2109
01:26:14,908 --> 01:26:15,822
Let--let me,
2110
01:26:15,866 --> 01:26:16,954
let me start out
2111
01:26:16,997 --> 01:26:18,216
with this, okay?
2112
01:26:18,260 --> 01:26:20,610
Everybody knows what happened,
2113
01:26:20,653 --> 01:26:24,266
but I want to just express...
2114
01:26:24,309 --> 01:26:25,963
my feeling on something,
because my--
2115
01:26:26,006 --> 01:26:27,617
[Terry]
We've been waitin'
for it all night.
2116
01:26:27,660 --> 01:26:29,706
[Mike]
My anger does not even--
2117
01:26:29,749 --> 01:26:33,013
How about this,
on the list of anger...
2118
01:26:33,057 --> 01:26:34,406
the refs don't come in first
2119
01:26:34,450 --> 01:26:36,103
and neither does
the football team.
2120
01:26:36,147 --> 01:26:37,670
♪
2121
01:26:37,714 --> 01:26:42,893
My anger lies with
the Lion organization.
2122
01:26:42,936 --> 01:26:43,981
Okay?
2123
01:26:44,024 --> 01:26:44,808
Owners,
2124
01:26:45,678 --> 01:26:48,072
your CFO, CEO,
2125
01:26:48,115 --> 01:26:50,205
your GM, your head coach,
2126
01:26:50,248 --> 01:26:52,381
and any player who matters.
2127
01:26:52,424 --> 01:26:55,819
My anger lies with them because here's the one guarantee
2128
01:26:55,862 --> 01:26:57,473
I can give you--I can't
guarantee whether
2129
01:26:57,516 --> 01:26:58,778
the Lions win or lose.
2130
01:26:58,822 --> 01:27:01,477
We know they lose
most of the time.
2131
01:27:01,520 --> 01:27:04,828
But I guarantee you that
no matter how the league
2132
01:27:04,871 --> 01:27:07,222
bends this franchise over,
2133
01:27:07,265 --> 01:27:10,529
no matter how the league
spits in your face,
2134
01:27:10,573 --> 01:27:15,317
no matter how the league
openly and forcibly...
2135
01:27:15,360 --> 01:27:18,320
disrespects you,
2136
01:27:18,363 --> 01:27:21,061
you will say nothing.
2137
01:27:21,105 --> 01:27:22,193
Your quarterback?
2138
01:27:22,237 --> 01:27:23,673
Forget about it.
2139
01:27:23,716 --> 01:27:24,717
Your head coach?
2140
01:27:24,761 --> 01:27:26,110
Forget about it.
2141
01:27:26,153 --> 01:27:27,285
I'm not even convinced he knew
2142
01:27:27,329 --> 01:27:29,505
the rules on the sideline.
2143
01:27:29,548 --> 01:27:31,202
Did he go crazy
in the post game?
2144
01:27:31,246 --> 01:27:33,030
No.
2145
01:27:33,073 --> 01:27:35,902
And here's my biggest complaint.
2146
01:27:35,946 --> 01:27:39,166
This is a day where we as fans,
2147
01:27:39,210 --> 01:27:41,647
you as fans, can do nothing.
2148
01:27:41,691 --> 01:27:43,823
You can get angry,
spin your wheels,
2149
01:27:43,867 --> 01:27:46,304
scream and yell,
whatever you want.
2150
01:27:46,348 --> 01:27:48,350
The only people that
can say things
2151
01:27:48,393 --> 01:27:50,526
that will make you feel better
2152
01:27:50,569 --> 01:27:53,398
or possibly effect change...
2153
01:27:53,442 --> 01:27:55,835
are the small group of people
that have consistently,
2154
01:27:55,879 --> 01:27:58,969
over the course of
the last 55 years,
2155
01:27:59,012 --> 01:28:01,232
said nothing.
2156
01:28:01,276 --> 01:28:03,060
And that's your ownership
2157
01:28:03,103 --> 01:28:04,670
and your management.
2158
01:28:04,714 --> 01:28:07,891
Because what frustrated me
most is last night
2159
01:28:07,934 --> 01:28:11,111
was the time where if that happened to the Dallas Cowboys,
2160
01:28:11,155 --> 01:28:13,636
Terry said it in pre-show,
Jerry Jones would have
2161
01:28:13,679 --> 01:28:17,770
robbed a church of their pulpit.
2162
01:28:17,814 --> 01:28:19,468
[Terry]
Yeah, he would have
stolen the pulpit
2163
01:28:19,511 --> 01:28:21,165
and put it up and said,
"Come over here..."
2164
01:28:21,208 --> 01:28:24,081
[Mike]
Everybody come here,
I want to help you.
2165
01:28:24,124 --> 01:28:25,561
[Terry]
Right.
2166
01:28:25,604 --> 01:28:27,780
[Mike]
You the fans deserve better
2167
01:28:27,824 --> 01:28:28,912
in this regard.
2168
01:28:28,955 --> 01:28:30,174
Your team sucks.
2169
01:28:30,217 --> 01:28:31,393
♪
2170
01:28:31,436 --> 01:28:33,830
And for whatever reason
you still care.
2171
01:28:33,873 --> 01:28:35,875
You deserve better.
2172
01:28:35,919 --> 01:28:39,575
But understand the league
does not respect you.
2173
01:28:39,618 --> 01:28:42,969
The league does not take
the Lions seriously.
2174
01:28:43,013 --> 01:28:47,234
Because all the league
has done consistently...
2175
01:28:47,278 --> 01:28:49,759
is defecate on you.
2176
01:28:49,802 --> 01:28:52,196
Whether it's the
Calvin process,
2177
01:28:52,239 --> 01:28:54,111
the Dallas playoff game,
2178
01:28:54,154 --> 01:28:55,765
the Pollard touchdown,
2179
01:28:55,808 --> 01:29:00,204
they--all they do is
spit in your face.
2180
01:29:00,247 --> 01:29:04,164
And your ownership says nothing.
2181
01:29:04,208 --> 01:29:06,993
Thank you, may I have another?
2182
01:29:07,037 --> 01:29:09,692
And the league will continue
to do this to you
2183
01:29:09,735 --> 01:29:11,998
because they don't
care about you,
2184
01:29:12,042 --> 01:29:13,565
because you don't matter.
2185
01:29:13,609 --> 01:29:16,307
You're a non-entity,
you're a joke.
2186
01:29:16,351 --> 01:29:18,440
And you'll get
treated like that.
2187
01:29:18,483 --> 01:29:22,618
And it's gonna happen again
and again and again.
2188
01:29:22,661 --> 01:29:25,447
That's the problem I have.
2189
01:29:25,490 --> 01:29:26,970
[Terry]
I can tell, but
here's the thing.
2190
01:29:27,013 --> 01:29:28,580
[Mike]
I don't even like this team!
2191
01:29:28,624 --> 01:29:30,103
-I understand, Mike.
-But I'm disgusted
2192
01:29:30,147 --> 01:29:32,976
because these poor bastards
that root for this team,
2193
01:29:33,019 --> 01:29:34,499
they don't get anything!
2194
01:29:34,543 --> 01:29:37,633
[Terry]
They show way more emotion
than the team.
2195
01:29:37,676 --> 01:29:40,157
[Mike] And again this team gets boned.
2196
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:40,984
Boopadoo.
2197
01:29:41,027 --> 01:29:44,857
[dial tone]
140977
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