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♪ When she sighs ♪
2
00:00:45,466 --> 00:00:50,971
♪ And her baby-blue eyes
embrace your face ♪
3
00:00:51,038 --> 00:00:52,706
♪ Lies, all lies ♪
4
00:00:52,773 --> 00:00:57,978
♪ What the lady wants
is your closet space ♪
5
00:00:58,045 --> 00:01:00,314
♪ Bachelor ♪
6
00:01:00,381 --> 00:01:04,151
♪ In paradise ♪
7
00:01:04,217 --> 00:01:08,221
♪ Be careful ♪
8
00:01:08,288 --> 00:01:11,024
♪ Bachelor ♪
9
00:01:11,091 --> 00:01:14,395
♪ In paradise ♪
10
00:01:14,462 --> 00:01:18,932
♪ Beware ♪
11
00:01:18,999 --> 00:01:20,468
♪ Lights down low ♪
12
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:25,939
♪ Frankie's records
and cocktails on the floor ♪
13
00:01:26,006 --> 00:01:27,375
♪ You should know ♪
14
00:01:27,441 --> 00:01:33,013
♪ It's the garden of Eden
scene once more ♪
15
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:35,416
♪ Adam ♪
16
00:01:35,483 --> 00:01:39,387
♪ Come on, be smart ♪
17
00:01:39,453 --> 00:01:43,391
♪ Just take your fig leaf ♪
18
00:01:43,457 --> 00:01:46,326
♪ And depart ♪
19
00:01:46,394 --> 00:01:51,532
♪ And leave one bachelor less ♪
20
00:01:51,599 --> 00:01:57,905
♪ In paradise ♪
21
00:02:39,480 --> 00:02:41,582
These days,
as you may have noticed,
22
00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:42,950
many a motion picture opens
23
00:02:43,016 --> 00:02:44,718
with a scene
which rightly belongs
24
00:02:44,785 --> 00:02:46,720
somewhere in the middle
of the story,
25
00:02:48,956 --> 00:02:52,292
but this picture opens
where the story begins,
26
00:02:52,359 --> 00:02:54,595
somewhere in
the south of France.
27
00:02:57,297 --> 00:02:59,533
Pardonnez-moi, madame.
28
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,169
Chapter seven--
"the French widow."
29
00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,937
The mature French woman
30
00:03:04,004 --> 00:03:06,640
has elevated
the physical act
of kissing
31
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:07,908
to an artistic level
32
00:03:07,975 --> 00:03:10,878
unattained by any other society.
33
00:03:10,944 --> 00:03:13,714
Kissing
an experienced
French woman
34
00:03:13,781 --> 00:03:15,449
provides the average male
35
00:03:15,516 --> 00:03:16,517
with a sensation
36
00:03:16,584 --> 00:03:17,951
that compares favorably
37
00:03:18,018 --> 00:03:19,386
with, uh...
38
00:03:19,453 --> 00:03:22,490
With, uh...
39
00:03:31,231 --> 00:03:32,500
Pardon.
40
00:03:34,434 --> 00:03:36,604
Pardonnez-moi, monsieur Niles.
41
00:03:38,506 --> 00:03:41,141
A transatlantic call
from your publisher.
42
00:03:41,208 --> 00:03:42,309
Oh.
43
00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:43,811
Pick it up right there.
44
00:03:45,746 --> 00:03:47,681
Hello?
Hello, Austin?
45
00:03:47,748 --> 00:03:50,784
I've had you paged
all over France.
46
00:03:50,851 --> 00:03:52,786
I've been calling all night,
47
00:03:52,853 --> 00:03:55,623
and all I can get
from the operator
48
00:03:55,689 --> 00:03:58,526
is that you're out
or your line's engaged,
49
00:03:58,592 --> 00:03:59,993
whatever that is.
50
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:01,461
It's noon here,
51
00:04:01,529 --> 00:04:04,064
and I haven't had breakfast yet.
52
00:04:04,131 --> 00:04:06,033
Dear lad, how are you?
53
00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,334
Hard at work.
54
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:08,936
I'm up to chapter seven
55
00:04:09,002 --> 00:04:11,338
on how the French live.
56
00:04:11,404 --> 00:04:12,840
How's it coming?
57
00:04:12,906 --> 00:04:14,908
Fine. I'm two weeks
ahead in research,
58
00:04:14,975 --> 00:04:16,810
four months behind in writing.
59
00:04:16,877 --> 00:04:20,948
I'm afraid you'll
have to fly back, Adam.
60
00:04:21,014 --> 00:04:22,616
What? Why?
61
00:04:22,683 --> 00:04:25,418
Because of the demands of
the United States government--
62
00:04:25,485 --> 00:04:27,855
a very large
domestic organization.
63
00:04:27,921 --> 00:04:30,157
I used to get my mail from them.
64
00:04:30,223 --> 00:04:31,491
Is anything wrong?
65
00:04:31,559 --> 00:04:34,862
Wrong? You're in serious
difficulties, Adam,
66
00:04:34,928 --> 00:04:36,864
to be euphemistic about it.
67
00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:39,867
I'll see you in Washington
tomorrow afternoon.
68
00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:42,035
In the middle of a book?
69
00:04:42,102 --> 00:04:45,606
You're in the middle
of a tornado, Adam.
70
00:04:45,673 --> 00:04:48,609
Now, climb on that next
jet out of Paris,
71
00:04:48,676 --> 00:04:52,045
and don't speak
to a soul--no publicity.
72
00:04:52,112 --> 00:04:53,781
Yes, but, Austin,
it's not that--
73
00:04:53,847 --> 00:04:55,949
in fact, if anybody asks,
74
00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:58,552
deny that you're a.J. Niles.
75
00:04:58,619 --> 00:05:01,822
Use an alias--
your mother's
maiden name.
76
00:05:01,889 --> 00:05:04,758
Or was Niles
your mother's
maiden name?
77
00:05:04,825 --> 00:05:06,493
Your innuendo is offensive.
78
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,861
What innuendo?
79
00:05:07,928 --> 00:05:11,031
Uncle Sam has been
calling you one for days.
80
00:05:55,208 --> 00:05:58,445
$628,470?
81
00:05:58,511 --> 00:06:00,380
According to our
present calculations.
82
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:01,949
It may be more.
83
00:06:02,015 --> 00:06:04,652
But I didn't earn that much.
84
00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:07,554
Even the government
can't take over 100%.
85
00:06:07,621 --> 00:06:08,622
They subpoenaed me.
86
00:06:08,689 --> 00:06:09,699
I had to give them the figures.
87
00:06:09,723 --> 00:06:10,824
Mr. Niles,
88
00:06:10,891 --> 00:06:13,526
you've
been overseas
for 14 years.
89
00:06:13,593 --> 00:06:15,863
You wrote
a dozen books
which grossed
90
00:06:15,929 --> 00:06:21,969
a total of $1,214,704.63.
91
00:06:22,035 --> 00:06:23,503
But what about my expenses?
92
00:06:23,570 --> 00:06:25,372
We have no record of any.
93
00:06:25,438 --> 00:06:27,775
I sent them to
my business manager.
94
00:06:27,841 --> 00:06:30,844
I explained that, Adam.
95
00:06:30,911 --> 00:06:32,445
You're responsible
for the actions
96
00:06:32,512 --> 00:06:35,716
of your business
manager, Mr. Niles.
97
00:06:35,783 --> 00:06:37,484
Any idea where he ran off to?
98
00:06:37,550 --> 00:06:40,287
Vanished like smoke.
99
00:06:40,353 --> 00:06:41,789
I can't believe
100
00:06:41,855 --> 00:06:43,490
Herman Wappinger is dishonest.
101
00:06:43,556 --> 00:06:46,426
That man wears piping
on his vest.
102
00:06:46,493 --> 00:06:48,696
In all the years
that Mr. Wappinger
103
00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:50,964
has handled your affairs,
104
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:54,101
he never once filed
your income tax return.
105
00:06:54,167 --> 00:06:56,036
Now, we're sympathetic,
Mr. Niles,
106
00:06:56,103 --> 00:06:58,972
but this is
a clear case of fraud.
107
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,141
My life's earnings
down the drain,
108
00:07:01,208 --> 00:07:03,877
just because I was stupid enough
109
00:07:03,944 --> 00:07:06,980
to give Herman Wappinger
my power of attorney.
110
00:07:07,047 --> 00:07:09,783
I'm not only a criminal--
I'm a pauper.
111
00:07:09,850 --> 00:07:11,752
You haven't a dime, Adam.
112
00:07:11,819 --> 00:07:13,453
The department has attached
113
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,955
all your royalties.
114
00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:18,025
We had to, Mr. Niles.
That's the law.
115
00:07:18,091 --> 00:07:20,894
I know that law.
It's called "instant poverty."
116
00:07:20,961 --> 00:07:24,297
Put me in jail--
at least I can eat.
117
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,033
That won't be necessary.
118
00:07:26,099 --> 00:07:28,668
Mr. palfrey posted
your surety bond.
119
00:07:28,736 --> 00:07:29,970
Oh, thanks, Austin.
120
00:07:30,037 --> 00:07:32,172
Then I'm free to leave?
121
00:07:32,239 --> 00:07:35,675
Free to leave this office,
but not this country.
122
00:07:35,743 --> 00:07:37,277
Thanks...
123
00:07:37,344 --> 00:07:38,746
A million...
124
00:07:38,812 --> 00:07:40,247
214 thousand...
125
00:07:40,313 --> 00:07:42,249
704 dollars...
126
00:07:42,315 --> 00:07:44,217
And 63 cents.
127
00:07:44,284 --> 00:07:45,685
Shoo!
128
00:07:50,623 --> 00:07:52,125
I'm an American citizen.
129
00:07:52,192 --> 00:07:54,327
They can't force me
to stay in this country.
130
00:07:54,394 --> 00:07:55,929
Yes, they can, dear boy.
131
00:07:55,996 --> 00:07:59,199
Until you pay back
those $624,000,
132
00:07:59,266 --> 00:08:00,968
or until
Herman Wappinger's
conscience
133
00:08:01,034 --> 00:08:02,870
forces him to materialize.
134
00:08:02,936 --> 00:08:04,805
Herman's probably on a yacht
135
00:08:04,872 --> 00:08:07,540
with four beautiful gals.
136
00:08:07,607 --> 00:08:09,509
I hope he's taking notes.
137
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,844
Meanwhile, what do I do?
138
00:08:10,911 --> 00:08:13,280
You could go to work.
139
00:08:13,346 --> 00:08:15,382
I could go back
to the sports desk--
140
00:08:15,448 --> 00:08:18,518
$62.50 a week
and passes
for the dog show.
141
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:22,856
No. I have an idea--
your next book.
142
00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:24,024
I haven't finished
143
00:08:24,091 --> 00:08:25,392
researching my last one.
144
00:08:25,458 --> 00:08:28,461
Then you can
start researching
your next one--
145
00:08:28,528 --> 00:08:30,297
how the Americans live.
146
00:08:30,363 --> 00:08:32,632
You're joking.
147
00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:34,401
A Niles'-eye view of America
148
00:08:34,467 --> 00:08:36,636
might be sensational.
149
00:08:36,703 --> 00:08:40,573
If it's like your others,
150
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,876
half of all Americans
will buy it
151
00:08:42,943 --> 00:08:45,112
just to see what they've missed.
152
00:08:45,178 --> 00:08:46,379
The other half will buy it
153
00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:47,647
to see what you've missed.
154
00:08:47,714 --> 00:08:49,516
You've got to, Adam!
155
00:08:49,582 --> 00:08:51,151
But how? How am I going to live?
156
00:08:51,218 --> 00:08:55,388
I'll subsidize you--
your rent and...
157
00:08:55,455 --> 00:08:57,290
$75 a week.
158
00:08:57,357 --> 00:08:59,326
$75?
159
00:08:59,392 --> 00:09:00,327
Don't go over budget
160
00:09:00,393 --> 00:09:01,829
just to save a life.
161
00:09:01,895 --> 00:09:05,532
85--no more. Eat oatmeal
instead of caviar.
162
00:09:05,598 --> 00:09:07,067
It tastes terrible
with champagne.
163
00:09:07,134 --> 00:09:08,368
I'll need a secretary.
164
00:09:08,435 --> 00:09:09,970
One ugly secretary.
165
00:09:10,037 --> 00:09:12,005
One that can type, huh?
166
00:09:12,072 --> 00:09:16,709
One more thing--
this is America.
167
00:09:16,776 --> 00:09:18,245
Our attitude towards our women
168
00:09:18,311 --> 00:09:19,079
is different.
169
00:09:19,146 --> 00:09:20,613
Sex hasn't gone out, has it?
170
00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:21,915
No.
171
00:09:21,982 --> 00:09:23,526
I'd heard
it'd been replaced
by television.
172
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:27,955
While you're here,
no experiments with women.
173
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:29,890
How can I research?
174
00:09:29,957 --> 00:09:31,925
Strictly by observation,
dear boy.
175
00:09:31,992 --> 00:09:34,761
If you get involved,
no more allowance.
176
00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:35,762
I'm in trouble enough.
177
00:09:35,829 --> 00:09:38,198
I'll stay in bucks county.
178
00:09:38,265 --> 00:09:39,632
Not typical.
179
00:09:39,699 --> 00:09:41,101
Nowadays, the average American
180
00:09:41,168 --> 00:09:44,337
lives in
a planned community--
a housing development.
181
00:09:44,404 --> 00:09:45,472
Those tract things
182
00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:48,308
where they
replace old slums
with new slums?
183
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:50,177
Oh, they're more
appealing than that.
184
00:09:50,243 --> 00:09:53,380
Take, for example,
paradise village.
185
00:09:53,446 --> 00:09:55,082
Paradise village?
186
00:09:55,148 --> 00:09:56,016
Yecch!
187
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:57,417
Sounds revolting.
188
00:09:57,484 --> 00:09:59,953
It's a modern community
in the San Fernando valley.
189
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:02,856
Who lives there--
Horses?
190
00:10:02,923 --> 00:10:04,057
Fortunes have been made
191
00:10:04,124 --> 00:10:06,526
in such communities
as paradise village.
192
00:10:06,593 --> 00:10:08,328
I've invested a little myself.
193
00:10:08,395 --> 00:10:11,031
And with the population
growth in California,
194
00:10:11,098 --> 00:10:14,067
it forms a cross-section
of the entire country.
195
00:10:14,134 --> 00:10:18,205
I've arranged for
a house for you there.
196
00:10:18,271 --> 00:10:20,340
And you expect me to live there?
197
00:10:20,407 --> 00:10:21,774
Mm-hmm.
198
00:10:21,841 --> 00:10:24,411
Well, I better get
my distemper shots.
199
00:11:08,655 --> 00:11:10,290
You better wait for me.
200
00:11:27,307 --> 00:11:29,042
My name is Adams.
Jack Adams.
201
00:11:29,109 --> 00:11:30,577
We've been expecting you.
202
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:33,680
My cab driver
didn't know how
to get to paradise.
203
00:11:33,746 --> 00:11:34,847
He's an atheist.
204
00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:38,551
Ha ha!
Come right this way.
205
00:11:39,586 --> 00:11:40,586
Uh...
206
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:41,688
Mr. Adams is here.
207
00:11:44,057 --> 00:11:45,592
How do you do, Mr. Adams?
208
00:11:46,994 --> 00:11:48,395
I'm Rosemary Howard.
209
00:11:48,461 --> 00:11:50,930
You are? Well,
what a pleasant surprise.
210
00:11:50,998 --> 00:11:53,033
Oh? What were you expecting?
211
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:55,102
Well, frankly, nothing.
212
00:11:55,168 --> 00:11:56,970
Your house is ready for you.
213
00:11:57,037 --> 00:11:58,371
Won't you sit down?
214
00:12:01,908 --> 00:12:03,710
Mr. palfrey said
you weren't sure
215
00:12:03,776 --> 00:12:05,045
how long you'd stay,
216
00:12:05,112 --> 00:12:08,748
so it's a month-
to-month lease,
all right?
217
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:09,815
That'll be fine.
218
00:12:09,849 --> 00:12:12,285
It's a standard form.
219
00:12:12,352 --> 00:12:14,921
Don't you want to
see the house first?
220
00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:16,623
It'll be adequate.
221
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:17,991
You're sure?
222
00:12:18,058 --> 00:12:19,892
It's the only one, isn't it?
223
00:12:19,959 --> 00:12:22,695
Yes. We don't usually
rent in paradise,
224
00:12:22,762 --> 00:12:25,598
but we hope you'll
decide to buy here.
225
00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:29,436
If you're selling, I'll buy.
226
00:12:29,502 --> 00:12:32,905
A rental car will
arrive tomorrow,
227
00:12:32,972 --> 00:12:33,972
but I'll take you over now
228
00:12:34,007 --> 00:12:35,008
if you like.
229
00:12:35,075 --> 00:12:36,143
I'd love.
230
00:12:36,209 --> 00:12:38,411
Let me pay the cab
and get my bags.
231
00:12:39,979 --> 00:12:41,381
Ahh!
232
00:12:41,448 --> 00:12:45,452
Our Mr. Adams has arrived!
Welcome to paradise, Adams!
233
00:12:45,518 --> 00:12:48,255
Mr. Adams, this is Mr. Jynson--
234
00:12:48,321 --> 00:12:50,490
developer and president
of the tract.
235
00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:51,624
Oh.
236
00:12:51,691 --> 00:12:54,461
Well, you're a friend
of Austin palfrey's, huh?
237
00:12:54,527 --> 00:12:56,829
It's a pleasure
to have you aboard.
238
00:12:56,896 --> 00:13:00,033
You will find
this truly is paradise.
239
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:02,469
Schools, churches, country club,
240
00:13:02,535 --> 00:13:05,438
playground, pool,
shopping center.
241
00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:06,505
As we say,
242
00:13:06,539 --> 00:13:09,676
a family can live
a full and happy life
243
00:13:09,742 --> 00:13:10,677
in paradise
244
00:13:10,743 --> 00:13:12,879
and never leave the village.
245
00:13:12,945 --> 00:13:14,681
They're allowed to, aren't they?
246
00:13:14,747 --> 00:13:15,948
Oh, of course.
247
00:13:16,015 --> 00:13:17,584
You and your family--
248
00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:19,452
I don't have a family.
249
00:13:19,519 --> 00:13:20,853
No family?
250
00:13:20,920 --> 00:13:23,223
Mr. Adams is a bachelor?
251
00:13:23,290 --> 00:13:25,392
Well, don't worry.
It's not catching.
252
00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:27,927
I know, but
a bachelor in paradise--
253
00:13:27,994 --> 00:13:30,363
you'll be the only one.
254
00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,065
That sounds like fun.
255
00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:35,602
I better pay my cab driver.
256
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:37,637
I'd hate to put him
in a higher bracket.
257
00:13:41,274 --> 00:13:42,775
Rosemary.
258
00:13:42,842 --> 00:13:44,277
Ginny.
259
00:13:44,344 --> 00:13:46,513
Does your mother know
you're reading this trash?
260
00:13:46,579 --> 00:13:47,780
I'm 18.
261
00:13:47,847 --> 00:13:49,949
Rosemary, may I see you?
262
00:13:50,016 --> 00:13:52,452
Would you show Mr. Adams
to my car, please?
263
00:13:57,657 --> 00:13:58,691
Crazy.
264
00:13:59,759 --> 00:14:01,361
A Latin student, huh?
265
00:14:04,497 --> 00:14:07,066
I'm not sure this is good.
266
00:14:07,134 --> 00:14:08,335
He's a bachelor,
267
00:14:08,401 --> 00:14:10,303
and it's a family community.
268
00:14:10,370 --> 00:14:12,172
I'm a bachelor, too.
269
00:14:12,239 --> 00:14:14,141
You're a woman.
That's different.
270
00:14:14,207 --> 00:14:16,109
Why? I understand it takes
271
00:14:16,176 --> 00:14:18,077
a member of each sex.
272
00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:19,579
You're a special case.
273
00:14:19,646 --> 00:14:21,514
You're steering away from men--
274
00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:24,484
and I wish you'd
get over that,
Rosemary.
275
00:14:24,551 --> 00:14:26,419
We were discussing Mr. Adams.
276
00:14:26,486 --> 00:14:28,955
When it comes
to personal matters,
277
00:14:29,021 --> 00:14:31,224
I suggest
you concern
yourself more
278
00:14:31,291 --> 00:14:33,493
with your own domestic problems.
279
00:14:35,228 --> 00:14:37,096
I didn't appreciate that remark.
280
00:14:37,164 --> 00:14:39,332
Sorry, but if you
weren't suspicious
281
00:14:39,399 --> 00:14:42,969
of every Tom,
dick, and Harry,
you and Dolores--
282
00:14:43,035 --> 00:14:44,271
never mind Dolores.
283
00:14:44,337 --> 00:14:47,340
Whose house did you
get for Adams, huh?
284
00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:48,208
Mine.
285
00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:49,442
You rented him your house?
286
00:14:49,509 --> 00:14:52,212
Mm-hmm. I moved in
with old Mrs. Curtis.
287
00:14:52,279 --> 00:14:54,514
She needed someone
to care for her, anyway.
288
00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:58,651
Why don't you think of yourself
289
00:14:58,718 --> 00:14:59,719
for a change?
290
00:14:59,786 --> 00:15:00,587
A girl like you
291
00:15:00,653 --> 00:15:03,556
could have anything if she'd...
292
00:15:03,623 --> 00:15:06,526
If she'd be sweet, charming...
293
00:15:06,593 --> 00:15:08,161
Or just obliging to a man?
294
00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:10,830
Just because of one
unhappy experience--
295
00:15:10,897 --> 00:15:13,099
that's all I needed.
296
00:15:13,166 --> 00:15:15,101
I'm on my own, Tom,
297
00:15:15,168 --> 00:15:16,869
and I intend to stay that way.
298
00:15:16,936 --> 00:15:19,539
Excuse me.
Mr. Adams is waiting.
299
00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:34,487
You're much more attractive
300
00:15:34,554 --> 00:15:36,423
than my last
cab driver, Mrs. Howard.
301
00:15:36,489 --> 00:15:38,891
Thank you, but it's miss Howard.
302
00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,293
Miss?
303
00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:43,496
Don't they harvest
the crops around here?
304
00:15:43,563 --> 00:15:44,831
Well, you're a bachelor.
305
00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:47,634
But that's intentional.
I mean, anytime--
306
00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:49,202
oh, I know,
307
00:15:49,269 --> 00:15:50,737
but you may be more
amazed to learn
308
00:15:50,803 --> 00:15:53,640
that some women
remain single
intentionally.
309
00:15:54,574 --> 00:15:57,677
I think we'll hit it off.
310
00:15:59,779 --> 00:16:01,381
When I left,
if a man wanted a house,
311
00:16:01,448 --> 00:16:03,182
he built one--
That was that.
312
00:16:03,250 --> 00:16:06,118
You must have been
away a long time.
313
00:16:06,185 --> 00:16:07,620
What's all that up there?
314
00:16:08,455 --> 00:16:10,189
That's paradise hills,
315
00:16:10,257 --> 00:16:12,225
Mr. Jynson's new development,
316
00:16:12,292 --> 00:16:14,661
but he had to stop
work on it awhile.
317
00:16:14,727 --> 00:16:16,563
The minute I met him, I thought,
318
00:16:16,629 --> 00:16:19,332
"here's a man with
an arrested development."
319
00:16:19,399 --> 00:16:20,500
Mr. Jynson is
320
00:16:20,567 --> 00:16:22,269
a very intelligent businessman.
321
00:16:22,335 --> 00:16:24,604
What's holding up
paradise hills?
322
00:16:25,438 --> 00:16:27,106
It's a personal matter,
323
00:16:27,173 --> 00:16:28,408
but only temporary.
324
00:16:28,475 --> 00:16:30,377
Will you do your work
325
00:16:30,443 --> 00:16:32,579
in the valley or downtown?
326
00:16:32,645 --> 00:16:34,080
At home.
327
00:16:34,146 --> 00:16:36,383
I'll need a secretary
for typing.
328
00:16:36,449 --> 00:16:39,018
Is there anybody
in the neighborhood?
329
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:40,387
Oh, I'm afraid not.
330
00:16:40,453 --> 00:16:42,188
I'll inquire around,
331
00:16:42,255 --> 00:16:43,290
but most women in paradise
332
00:16:43,356 --> 00:16:45,558
have husbands and children.
333
00:16:45,625 --> 00:16:47,727
A lot of families
get started that way.
334
00:17:15,187 --> 00:17:17,123
It would be pink.
335
00:17:17,189 --> 00:17:18,425
That's not pink.
336
00:17:18,491 --> 00:17:20,126
That's California coral.
337
00:17:20,192 --> 00:17:21,661
Who thinks up all the names
338
00:17:21,728 --> 00:17:23,396
for colors in this country--
339
00:17:23,463 --> 00:17:26,466
Tennessee Williams?
340
00:17:31,971 --> 00:17:33,706
Just like that--
No key?
341
00:17:33,773 --> 00:17:36,476
There is, but nobody has to
lock a house in paradise.
342
00:17:37,377 --> 00:17:38,911
Hey, it's very attractive.
343
00:17:42,248 --> 00:17:44,183
Even the termites
seem to like it.
344
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:45,585
That's pecky cypress,
345
00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:47,320
and it's quite the rage.
346
00:17:48,888 --> 00:17:50,323
It's very charming.
347
00:17:50,390 --> 00:17:53,593
What do you call
this style--
early Disneyland?
348
00:17:58,665 --> 00:18:03,202
By sliding these open,
you can bring the outdoors in.
349
00:18:03,269 --> 00:18:05,304
Bugs and all.
350
00:18:13,846 --> 00:18:15,448
This is your TV.
351
00:18:15,515 --> 00:18:17,550
And here's the bar.
352
00:18:17,617 --> 00:18:18,818
Hmm.
353
00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:20,319
The last tenants
354
00:18:20,387 --> 00:18:22,321
must have been real drunks.
355
00:18:22,389 --> 00:18:24,256
There's not a drop left.
356
00:18:24,323 --> 00:18:27,627
There are two bedrooms,
but only one is furnished.
357
00:18:27,694 --> 00:18:30,329
One is all a bachelor needs
358
00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:32,632
if he works it right.
359
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:39,639
Sweet.
360
00:18:43,676 --> 00:18:45,512
Painter couldn't make up
his mind, huh?
361
00:18:52,318 --> 00:18:54,621
What's this--
a runway for the mice?
362
00:18:54,687 --> 00:18:56,423
If you're so disenchanted,
363
00:18:56,489 --> 00:18:59,826
I'll be happy
to tear up the lease.
364
00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:00,893
Oh, no. No.
365
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:04,030
It's not a bad
little cracker box.
366
00:19:04,096 --> 00:19:05,465
100 million Americans
367
00:19:05,532 --> 00:19:07,500
would love to live
in this cracker box.
368
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,669
That would make it crowded.
369
00:19:09,736 --> 00:19:11,438
Anything else I can show you?
370
00:19:11,504 --> 00:19:14,073
No. Just let me enjoy
371
00:19:14,140 --> 00:19:15,508
the thrill of discovery.
372
00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:17,510
You have a kitchen,
broom closet...
373
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:20,547
All the comforts.
Even indoor plumbing.
374
00:19:20,613 --> 00:19:23,182
Good. I hate those long walks.
375
00:19:23,249 --> 00:19:24,517
Good afternoon, Mr. Adams.
376
00:19:24,584 --> 00:19:26,385
Wait. My luggage?
377
00:19:28,120 --> 00:19:29,121
What was that?
378
00:19:29,188 --> 00:19:30,757
The school bus.
379
00:19:30,823 --> 00:19:32,859
Sounds like one of
the kids is driving.
380
00:19:59,486 --> 00:20:02,722
What do you say
I take you to dinner?
381
00:20:02,789 --> 00:20:05,992
Thank you, but I have
a business appointment.
382
00:20:06,058 --> 00:20:07,494
Oh.
383
00:20:08,528 --> 00:20:10,096
Tomorrow night?
384
00:20:10,162 --> 00:20:12,532
Lonely bachelors should
stick together,
don't you think?
385
00:20:12,599 --> 00:20:15,802
Definitely, and if I
find one I think you'd like,
386
00:20:15,868 --> 00:20:18,705
I'll let you know.
Good-bye.
387
00:20:20,339 --> 00:20:21,541
Bye.
388
00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:33,185
Hi. Who are you?
389
00:20:33,252 --> 00:20:35,187
Mr. Adams.
I'm moving in.
390
00:20:35,254 --> 00:20:36,689
I'm Peter.
I live there.
391
00:20:36,756 --> 00:20:37,957
Where?
392
00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:41,561
I won't tell.
I'm not supposed
to talk to strangers.
393
00:20:41,628 --> 00:20:42,829
Is he a stranger?
394
00:20:42,895 --> 00:20:46,666
Sure. Here's my sister--
Mrs. Macintyre.
395
00:20:46,733 --> 00:20:50,069
Mrs. Macintyre?
Well, ma'am,
how do you do?
396
00:20:50,136 --> 00:20:51,704
How do I do what?
397
00:20:53,673 --> 00:20:56,509
It's just not my day for women.
398
00:20:56,576 --> 00:20:58,845
He sure is a stranger.
399
00:20:58,911 --> 00:21:00,112
Come on.
400
00:21:28,074 --> 00:21:29,876
Oh, for Pete's sake!
401
00:21:40,486 --> 00:21:41,487
Ohh!
402
00:21:41,554 --> 00:21:43,690
You scared me.
Who are you?
403
00:21:43,756 --> 00:21:46,659
Jack Adams.
Do you come
with the house?
404
00:21:46,726 --> 00:21:48,795
Are you Rosemary's friend?
405
00:21:48,861 --> 00:21:49,862
Not yet.
406
00:21:49,929 --> 00:21:52,932
Then why are you in her house?
407
00:21:52,999 --> 00:21:54,834
Is this Rosemary Howard's house?
408
00:21:54,901 --> 00:21:56,569
Sure.
Didn't you know?
409
00:21:56,636 --> 00:21:58,504
I wish I had.
410
00:21:58,571 --> 00:22:00,506
She's renting this to me,
411
00:22:00,573 --> 00:22:02,508
but she didn't tell me.
412
00:22:02,575 --> 00:22:04,276
Oh! She did say that.
413
00:22:04,343 --> 00:22:07,446
Hi. I'm Linda Delavane,
your next-door neighbor.
414
00:22:07,513 --> 00:22:09,448
I was grinding my garbage.
415
00:22:09,515 --> 00:22:11,417
What's wrong with your grinder?
416
00:22:11,483 --> 00:22:12,985
We don't have one.
417
00:22:13,052 --> 00:22:16,155
See, you get your choice
of garbage disposer
418
00:22:16,222 --> 00:22:17,657
or dishwasher.
419
00:22:17,724 --> 00:22:19,926
The disposer was a little extra,
420
00:22:19,992 --> 00:22:22,829
and Larry didn't
want the obligation.
421
00:22:22,895 --> 00:22:23,630
Larry?
422
00:22:23,696 --> 00:22:25,064
My husband.
423
00:22:25,131 --> 00:22:26,532
You're married?
424
00:22:26,599 --> 00:22:28,801
Better be--
I've got two children.
425
00:22:28,868 --> 00:22:31,804
Larry's a senior inertial
control systems analyst--
426
00:22:31,871 --> 00:22:33,472
an important position.
427
00:22:33,539 --> 00:22:35,007
Especially if you want
428
00:22:35,074 --> 00:22:36,676
your control system analyzed.
429
00:22:36,743 --> 00:22:38,678
You're Southern, aren't you?
430
00:22:38,745 --> 00:22:40,146
Savannah, Georgia!
431
00:22:40,212 --> 00:22:41,547
Sho'.
432
00:22:41,614 --> 00:22:44,116
I met Larry at Michigan
while on scholarship.
433
00:22:44,183 --> 00:22:45,184
Basketball?
434
00:22:45,251 --> 00:22:47,119
Oh! Romance languages.
435
00:22:47,186 --> 00:22:51,090
I was going to teach,
but we got married
the day we graduated.
436
00:22:51,157 --> 00:22:54,026
Then Stevie came along,
and then Dougie,
437
00:22:54,093 --> 00:22:57,296
and now I'm settled down
as a hausfrau.
438
00:22:57,363 --> 00:22:59,298
You're a living soap opera.
439
00:22:59,365 --> 00:23:01,100
Don't you like it here?
440
00:23:01,167 --> 00:23:03,102
For the children,
it's marvelous,
441
00:23:03,169 --> 00:23:05,805
but there's so little
cultural stimulation,
442
00:23:05,872 --> 00:23:08,107
and the good lord didn't intend
443
00:23:08,174 --> 00:23:11,811
for me to use
my phi beta kappa key
444
00:23:11,878 --> 00:23:13,813
to open grated cheese cans.
445
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:15,815
What are you doing there?
446
00:23:15,882 --> 00:23:18,117
Loosening this so it will start.
447
00:23:18,184 --> 00:23:20,820
Rosemary showed me how.
She's sweet.
448
00:23:20,887 --> 00:23:22,354
When theirs gets stuck,
449
00:23:22,421 --> 00:23:25,557
she takes in garbage
from the whole neighborhood.
450
00:23:25,624 --> 00:23:28,560
Nice of her to find
me this location--
451
00:23:28,627 --> 00:23:30,629
in the middle of things.
452
00:23:30,697 --> 00:23:31,898
Can I help?
453
00:23:31,964 --> 00:23:34,867
Now, hold it firm
and move it around.
454
00:23:34,934 --> 00:23:38,070
Sort of like stirring
the fudge, isn't it?
455
00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:39,305
O.K.
456
00:23:43,175 --> 00:23:44,610
Hold it!
457
00:23:44,677 --> 00:23:46,612
You got it on high?
458
00:23:46,679 --> 00:23:48,114
Wait!
459
00:23:48,180 --> 00:23:49,916
O.K.
460
00:23:50,683 --> 00:23:52,618
They get vicious
461
00:23:52,685 --> 00:23:55,688
when they haven't
been fed for a while,
462
00:23:55,755 --> 00:23:57,223
don't they?
463
00:24:18,610 --> 00:24:19,846
Hello, men!
464
00:24:19,912 --> 00:24:21,914
You broke my drum!
465
00:24:23,582 --> 00:24:25,517
You shouldn't leave it here.
466
00:24:25,584 --> 00:24:27,519
Let's turn this down!
467
00:24:27,586 --> 00:24:28,921
Whew!
468
00:24:28,988 --> 00:24:32,024
David Douglas Delavane!
Who put your cage on?
469
00:24:32,091 --> 00:24:33,325
Mommy did.
470
00:24:33,392 --> 00:24:36,528
He started
eating a bottle
of nail Polish.
471
00:24:36,595 --> 00:24:37,830
You Billy goat.
472
00:24:37,897 --> 00:24:40,833
Stevie, let's get him
ready for dinner.
473
00:24:40,900 --> 00:24:42,534
Linda, I'm home!
474
00:24:42,601 --> 00:24:44,136
I'm here, honey.
475
00:24:52,611 --> 00:24:54,046
Y-your birthday?
476
00:24:54,113 --> 00:24:55,547
Hmm-mm.
477
00:24:55,614 --> 00:24:57,049
Our anniversary?
478
00:24:57,116 --> 00:24:58,050
No.
479
00:24:58,117 --> 00:24:59,385
My birthday?
480
00:24:59,451 --> 00:25:02,755
No. It's Mr. Adams' idea.
He rented Rosemary's house.
481
00:25:02,822 --> 00:25:05,892
He says a man likes to come home
482
00:25:05,958 --> 00:25:09,061
and see his wife
in a pretty frock.
483
00:25:09,128 --> 00:25:10,329
He's right.
484
00:25:10,396 --> 00:25:11,798
You'd like him.
485
00:25:11,864 --> 00:25:13,766
He's nice-looking,
cute, mysterious.
486
00:25:13,833 --> 00:25:15,034
He speaks French.
487
00:25:15,101 --> 00:25:17,003
What's so mysterious about that?
488
00:25:17,069 --> 00:25:19,939
You've got three
guys to feed, baby.
489
00:25:20,006 --> 00:25:21,841
Give me 10 minutes.
490
00:25:21,908 --> 00:25:23,342
10 minutes?
491
00:25:23,409 --> 00:25:25,111
I lost track of time.
492
00:25:25,177 --> 00:25:27,746
Jack and I got to chatting.
493
00:25:27,814 --> 00:25:29,048
I was transported
494
00:25:29,115 --> 00:25:31,683
to all sorts of romantic places.
495
00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:33,953
Forgot all about
dishes and diapers.
496
00:25:34,020 --> 00:25:36,923
So Mr. Adams equals
mystery and romance.
497
00:25:36,989 --> 00:25:39,591
Mr. Delavane equals diapers
and dishes.
498
00:25:39,658 --> 00:25:40,692
Larry!
499
00:25:40,759 --> 00:25:42,594
Some stranger fills my wife
500
00:25:42,661 --> 00:25:44,596
with talk about romantic places,
501
00:25:44,663 --> 00:25:46,598
changing clothes,
and speaking French.
502
00:25:46,665 --> 00:25:48,901
I never did trust that language.
503
00:25:48,968 --> 00:25:50,903
Larry, don't be so sensitive.
504
00:25:50,970 --> 00:25:52,604
Are you jealous?
505
00:25:52,671 --> 00:25:54,040
Me? Jealous?
506
00:25:54,106 --> 00:25:56,843
But there are jealous
husbands around here,
507
00:25:56,909 --> 00:25:59,812
and if Mr. Adams starts
transporting their wives,
508
00:25:59,879 --> 00:26:02,214
we'll have
more trouble in paradise
509
00:26:02,281 --> 00:26:05,084
than Eve started
with that apple!
510
00:26:29,641 --> 00:26:33,645
Say, would you send a cab
to 22931 Katherina street?
511
00:26:33,712 --> 00:26:35,147
Right away.
512
00:26:35,214 --> 00:26:36,949
Thank you.
513
00:27:00,772 --> 00:27:03,775
Are you in a hurry, miss Howard?
514
00:27:03,842 --> 00:27:05,077
Yes.
515
00:27:05,144 --> 00:27:08,480
I have an appointment
at 8:00, but I...
516
00:27:18,190 --> 00:27:19,558
Um...
517
00:27:19,625 --> 00:27:23,129
Just bring me a hamburger
and coffee to go, Thelma.
518
00:27:23,195 --> 00:27:24,530
O.K.
519
00:27:27,934 --> 00:27:30,702
I can't tell you
when I'll be free
520
00:27:30,769 --> 00:27:31,971
for another call.
521
00:27:32,038 --> 00:27:34,873
I don't know
how fast
this nut eats.
522
00:27:34,941 --> 00:27:36,142
Yeah.
523
00:28:07,739 --> 00:28:09,141
Well, guys and gals,
524
00:28:09,208 --> 00:28:12,044
if this didn't get you up,
you're dead.
525
00:28:47,179 --> 00:28:50,082
How the Americans live,
chapter one.
526
00:28:50,149 --> 00:28:52,484
The din dawns with the day.
527
00:28:52,551 --> 00:28:54,486
Throughout most
of the civilized world,
528
00:28:54,553 --> 00:28:57,456
the new day is born
in a silence so profound,
529
00:28:57,523 --> 00:28:59,558
one can imagine
he hears the morning glory
530
00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:02,761
open its petals
to greet the rising sun.
531
00:29:02,828 --> 00:29:07,033
Hour-conscious, minute-counting,
time-saving America
532
00:29:07,099 --> 00:29:08,534
is blasted from sleep
533
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:11,537
by explosive screams
of the alarm clock radio,
534
00:29:11,603 --> 00:29:14,373
which may largely explain
the frenetic pace
535
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:17,676
that jangles the nation's nerves
throughout the day.
536
00:29:32,124 --> 00:29:33,392
Timed to the split second,
537
00:29:33,459 --> 00:29:35,361
an entire community
prepares for the day
538
00:29:35,427 --> 00:29:37,296
in a seemingly
well-regulated schedule
539
00:29:37,363 --> 00:29:40,266
that first dispatches
the adult males
540
00:29:40,332 --> 00:29:41,667
and gets them safely
541
00:29:41,733 --> 00:29:44,336
into the aorta
of the city's traffic system--
542
00:29:44,403 --> 00:29:47,339
those marvels of engineering
called freeways
543
00:29:47,406 --> 00:29:50,442
that have contributed so much
to American progress.
544
00:30:15,167 --> 00:30:16,535
The next major movement
545
00:30:16,602 --> 00:30:19,138
of which the objective observer
is aware
546
00:30:19,205 --> 00:30:20,239
comes after an interval
547
00:30:20,306 --> 00:30:21,673
during which the adult females
548
00:30:21,740 --> 00:30:24,476
have attended their basic
household chores.
549
00:30:24,543 --> 00:30:28,247
They run errands,
walk dogs, stroll babies,
550
00:30:28,314 --> 00:30:31,150
borrow, lend, exchange,
and discuss.
551
00:30:39,057 --> 00:30:41,493
And during the period
from sunup till sundown,
552
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:45,264
the typical American community
is completely matriarchal,
553
00:30:45,331 --> 00:30:47,933
dominated entirely by females--
554
00:30:47,999 --> 00:30:51,137
a no man's land more foreboding
than ancient Scythia,
555
00:30:51,203 --> 00:30:52,838
home of the Amazon.
556
00:30:52,904 --> 00:30:54,206
Hi, stranger.
557
00:30:54,273 --> 00:30:56,975
Well, Mrs. Macintyre,
why aren't you in school?
558
00:30:57,042 --> 00:30:58,777
I had to stay home today.
559
00:30:58,844 --> 00:31:00,879
My husband is sick.
560
00:31:00,946 --> 00:31:01,880
What's the matter?
561
00:31:01,947 --> 00:31:03,682
I think he's pregnant.
562
00:31:05,584 --> 00:31:06,785
Bye.
563
00:31:21,867 --> 00:31:23,635
Go this way, stranger.
564
00:31:40,252 --> 00:31:42,154
What are you
going to buy, stranger?
565
00:31:42,221 --> 00:31:43,221
Lots of things.
566
00:31:43,255 --> 00:31:44,890
Then you better get a wagon.
567
00:31:52,364 --> 00:31:54,400
Sissy, I told you
to wait in the car.
568
00:31:54,466 --> 00:31:57,102
I have to help the stranger.
569
00:31:57,169 --> 00:31:59,505
You're Mr. Adams,
the new gentleman.
570
00:31:59,571 --> 00:32:01,373
I'm Bertha Pickering,
sissy's mother.
571
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:03,209
I hope she isn't too bothersome.
572
00:32:03,275 --> 00:32:05,944
No. She can help
if you don't object.
573
00:32:06,011 --> 00:32:07,746
Behave now, sissy.
574
00:32:11,183 --> 00:32:12,584
Pardon me.
575
00:32:16,788 --> 00:32:19,558
I was just about to call
the auto club.
576
00:32:19,625 --> 00:32:21,059
I'll be in fresh vegetables.
577
00:32:21,126 --> 00:32:23,662
Stranger, what will you buy?
578
00:32:23,729 --> 00:32:25,697
Let's start with coffee.
Where's that?
579
00:32:25,764 --> 00:32:26,765
Down this way.
580
00:32:52,090 --> 00:32:53,959
Can I have one?
581
00:32:54,025 --> 00:32:55,827
Oh, sure.
Be my guest.
582
00:33:01,267 --> 00:33:03,201
No. No. Not from the bottom.
583
00:33:03,269 --> 00:33:05,237
Can I have some for my husband?
584
00:33:05,304 --> 00:33:06,938
Let me get it, honey.
585
00:33:11,677 --> 00:33:15,013
Floor man, accident on aisle 14.
586
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,848
Big brother is watching you.
587
00:33:19,651 --> 00:33:21,953
He did it!
588
00:33:22,020 --> 00:33:23,021
Where do you get eggs?
589
00:33:23,088 --> 00:33:24,856
From chickens!
590
00:33:24,923 --> 00:33:26,558
Eggs are this way.
591
00:33:26,625 --> 00:33:28,226
Well, you help the nice man
592
00:33:28,294 --> 00:33:29,895
put the cans together, huh?
593
00:33:29,961 --> 00:33:31,963
Here. That's for her husband.
594
00:34:24,516 --> 00:34:26,485
Are there any more
small broilers?
595
00:34:26,552 --> 00:34:29,154
Sorry, ma'am.
Not until the next delivery.
596
00:34:29,220 --> 00:34:30,922
Oh, dear.
597
00:34:30,989 --> 00:34:32,090
Allow me.
598
00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:33,258
Thanks just the same.
599
00:34:33,325 --> 00:34:34,726
I can't cook.
600
00:34:34,793 --> 00:34:35,794
Why'd you buy it?
601
00:34:35,861 --> 00:34:39,264
To practice,
but I can practice
with eggs.
602
00:34:39,331 --> 00:34:41,266
I'll find something else.
603
00:34:41,333 --> 00:34:44,370
We'll split it.
604
00:34:44,436 --> 00:34:46,071
You cook it.
605
00:34:46,137 --> 00:34:47,072
Then bring it to my place,
606
00:34:47,138 --> 00:34:49,007
and we'll share it.
607
00:34:49,074 --> 00:34:51,477
You're very generous.
608
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:53,545
Don't you think
I'm worth
half a chicken?
609
00:34:53,612 --> 00:34:56,214
I haven't thought of you
in terms of chickens.
610
00:34:56,281 --> 00:34:58,316
I haven't
thought of you, period.
611
00:34:58,384 --> 00:35:01,587
Wait.
I want to apologize
612
00:35:01,653 --> 00:35:03,622
for the things I said yesterday.
613
00:35:03,689 --> 00:35:05,457
Why didn't
you tell me
it was your house?
614
00:35:05,524 --> 00:35:08,760
I thought it would be
less embarrassing.
615
00:35:08,827 --> 00:35:10,462
Please forgive me.
616
00:35:13,298 --> 00:35:15,634
Ours is purely
a business arrangement.
617
00:35:15,701 --> 00:35:17,803
You rented my house, not me.
618
00:35:17,869 --> 00:35:19,371
You're sure you won't reconsider
619
00:35:19,438 --> 00:35:21,973
splitting this broiler tonight?
620
00:35:22,040 --> 00:35:23,709
Tomorrow night?
621
00:35:23,775 --> 00:35:26,912
I'm the safest man
in California.
622
00:35:26,978 --> 00:35:29,180
I'm the most
determined bachelor
you'll ever meet.
623
00:35:29,247 --> 00:35:33,719
That's obvious,
but it doesn't
make you any safer.
624
00:35:33,785 --> 00:35:35,120
You don't think I'd ask a girl
625
00:35:35,186 --> 00:35:37,856
to come to her own house.
626
00:35:37,923 --> 00:35:41,126
Probably, if you could
get away with it.
627
00:35:41,192 --> 00:35:42,894
Pardon me.
628
00:35:42,961 --> 00:35:44,195
Oh, miss Howard!
629
00:35:44,262 --> 00:35:47,198
Dear, you're just
the one I need.
630
00:35:47,265 --> 00:35:49,701
Sign this petition
to help safeguard
631
00:35:49,768 --> 00:35:52,203
the young people
of paradise village.
632
00:35:52,270 --> 00:35:54,105
What is this, Mrs. brown?
633
00:35:54,172 --> 00:35:55,206
The village bookshop
634
00:35:55,273 --> 00:35:56,975
is selling those dreadful books
635
00:35:57,042 --> 00:35:58,744
by a.J. Niles again.
636
00:35:58,810 --> 00:36:00,078
I want them to remove
637
00:36:00,145 --> 00:36:01,813
those nasty volumes
638
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,716
before they corrupt our youth.
639
00:36:04,783 --> 00:36:07,919
Have you ever read
any of the books?
640
00:36:07,986 --> 00:36:09,220
Certainly not.
641
00:36:09,287 --> 00:36:12,023
How do you know
they're so nasty?
642
00:36:12,090 --> 00:36:16,027
Certain chapters in
all of a.J. Niles'
books are nasty.
643
00:36:16,094 --> 00:36:19,030
Everyone knows
that's what makes
him so popular.
644
00:36:19,097 --> 00:36:24,235
I can't see how
the presence of a book
can corrupt anyone.
645
00:36:24,302 --> 00:36:25,737
It's the parents' duty
646
00:36:25,804 --> 00:36:27,939
to censor
their children's reading,
647
00:36:28,006 --> 00:36:29,074
not mine.
648
00:36:29,140 --> 00:36:32,243
I can't sign
your petition,
Mrs. brown.
649
00:36:32,310 --> 00:36:34,245
I'll sign that, Mrs. brown.
650
00:36:34,312 --> 00:36:36,247
Well, you're a good neighbor.
651
00:36:36,314 --> 00:36:37,949
Mr. Adams, isn't it?
652
00:36:38,016 --> 00:36:39,317
That's right.
653
00:36:39,384 --> 00:36:41,820
I admire your attitude,
miss Howard,
654
00:36:41,887 --> 00:36:45,757
but I feel a sense of obligation
to the writer.
655
00:36:45,824 --> 00:36:47,759
Every attempt to suppress books
656
00:36:47,826 --> 00:36:50,762
helps push them atop
the bestseller list.
657
00:36:50,829 --> 00:36:53,765
Thank you,
on behalf of a.J. Niles
658
00:36:53,832 --> 00:36:56,568
and the bureau
of internal revenue.
659
00:37:02,808 --> 00:37:05,911
Floor man,
accident on aisle three.
660
00:37:07,212 --> 00:37:09,581
I see you found the eggs.
661
00:37:29,367 --> 00:37:31,136
I'm sorry!
662
00:37:31,202 --> 00:37:32,202
My fault!
663
00:37:32,237 --> 00:37:33,739
That's all right.
664
00:38:14,112 --> 00:38:15,914
Um...
665
00:38:15,981 --> 00:38:18,349
I hope you don't think
I'm following you,
666
00:38:18,416 --> 00:38:20,051
but something's leaking.
667
00:38:20,118 --> 00:38:21,152
Leaking?
668
00:38:21,219 --> 00:38:24,355
Yeah, from your car,
all over the street.
669
00:38:24,422 --> 00:38:26,858
Here it is.
What is that?
670
00:38:26,925 --> 00:38:29,060
It looks like soap powder.
671
00:38:29,127 --> 00:38:30,261
It is soap powder.
672
00:38:30,328 --> 00:38:33,364
Well, that's all right.
I have several boxes.
673
00:38:33,431 --> 00:38:35,366
This is Rosemary Howard's house.
674
00:38:35,433 --> 00:38:36,868
That's right.
I'm leasing.
675
00:38:36,935 --> 00:38:40,371
Oh, I heard she rented it
to a bachelor.
676
00:38:40,438 --> 00:38:41,873
Jack Adams.
677
00:38:41,940 --> 00:38:43,541
No wonder Tom was so upset
678
00:38:43,609 --> 00:38:45,143
when he heard you had moved in.
679
00:38:45,210 --> 00:38:46,244
Tom?
680
00:38:46,311 --> 00:38:47,746
Tom Jynson.
681
00:38:47,813 --> 00:38:50,582
The blow-hard
who built
this no man's land.
682
00:38:50,649 --> 00:38:53,585
I'm Mrs. Tom Jynson.
683
00:38:53,652 --> 00:38:55,386
Well, I'm sorry.
I--
684
00:38:55,453 --> 00:38:56,554
that's quite all right.
685
00:38:56,622 --> 00:38:58,389
Blow-hard's a good word for him.
686
00:38:58,456 --> 00:39:00,892
Here. Let me help.
You get the others.
687
00:39:25,483 --> 00:39:27,819
I'll get the rest.
688
00:39:45,003 --> 00:39:47,238
Certainly neighborly
of you, Mrs. Jynson.
689
00:39:47,305 --> 00:39:48,339
Dolores.
690
00:39:48,406 --> 00:39:49,941
Thank you, Dolores.
691
00:39:50,008 --> 00:39:52,277
Can I help you
with something else?
692
00:39:52,343 --> 00:39:53,611
I love to do for a man,
693
00:39:53,679 --> 00:39:55,280
and Tom doesn't need me
694
00:39:55,346 --> 00:39:58,616
to do for him lately.
695
00:39:58,684 --> 00:40:03,454
Is there something
I can do for you?
696
00:40:03,521 --> 00:40:06,457
Show me how
the washing machine works.
697
00:40:06,524 --> 00:40:07,959
Oh, that's nothing.
698
00:40:08,026 --> 00:40:10,028
I already put the laundry in.
699
00:40:10,095 --> 00:40:12,163
You did?
700
00:40:12,230 --> 00:40:13,965
You put the soap in
701
00:40:14,032 --> 00:40:15,233
this little trap door on top.
702
00:40:15,300 --> 00:40:19,370
Then you, um,
you turn this dial.
703
00:40:19,437 --> 00:40:20,437
Is that all?
704
00:40:20,471 --> 00:40:22,240
Mm-hmm. Simple.
705
00:40:22,307 --> 00:40:24,743
Why don't you go ahead
and get things started,
706
00:40:24,810 --> 00:40:27,378
and I'll put the groceries away.
707
00:40:27,445 --> 00:40:28,747
O.K.
708
00:40:48,967 --> 00:40:51,169
I keep everything
on the top shelf.
709
00:40:54,639 --> 00:40:56,808
Hey, don't put in too much soap.
710
00:40:56,875 --> 00:40:58,376
How much is too much?
711
00:40:58,443 --> 00:41:00,245
Well, that's more than enough.
712
00:41:02,447 --> 00:41:03,614
Oh, gosh, yes.
713
00:41:03,681 --> 00:41:06,217
Now you close this,
714
00:41:06,284 --> 00:41:07,953
and you just, uh,
715
00:41:08,019 --> 00:41:10,288
well, you just turn this dial.
716
00:41:11,757 --> 00:41:14,960
I must have left
some change
in the pockets.
717
00:41:15,026 --> 00:41:16,494
The first cycle's the noisiest.
718
00:41:16,561 --> 00:41:18,730
Then it settles down to a roar.
719
00:41:20,766 --> 00:41:22,868
Don't wear yourself
out this way.
720
00:41:22,934 --> 00:41:24,469
You're too pretty
for the kitchen.
721
00:41:24,535 --> 00:41:25,804
Oh?
722
00:41:29,107 --> 00:41:30,909
Um, I'm not keeping you
723
00:41:30,976 --> 00:41:32,911
from anything urgent, am I?
724
00:41:32,978 --> 00:41:36,381
I was going to dust,
but I can do that later.
725
00:41:36,447 --> 00:41:37,983
Am I holding you up?
726
00:41:38,049 --> 00:41:42,120
You are...From my cocktail hour.
727
00:41:42,187 --> 00:41:43,421
Isn't it early?
728
00:41:43,488 --> 00:41:44,522
What else is there to do?
729
00:41:44,589 --> 00:41:47,092
In alphabetical order?
730
00:41:47,158 --> 00:41:49,694
Um, there's something
I might explain
731
00:41:49,761 --> 00:41:51,029
about Tom and me
732
00:41:51,096 --> 00:41:54,099
that would put your mind
very at ease.
733
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,268
Can you make
a really dry Gibson?
734
00:41:57,335 --> 00:41:58,403
Five parts gin,
735
00:41:58,469 --> 00:42:01,706
and I think
for a moment
about the vermouth.
736
00:42:01,773 --> 00:42:04,575
See, we're separated.
737
00:42:04,642 --> 00:42:06,411
We hardly ever see each other.
738
00:42:06,477 --> 00:42:09,314
That put your mind at ease?
739
00:42:09,380 --> 00:42:10,381
Just my conscience.
740
00:42:10,448 --> 00:42:13,218
My mind's having a ball.
741
00:42:13,284 --> 00:42:15,420
We're more than
separated, really.
742
00:42:15,486 --> 00:42:18,256
We're about to be divorced.
743
00:42:18,323 --> 00:42:21,459
I, uh, consider myself
an unattached woman...
744
00:42:21,526 --> 00:42:22,760
Practically...
745
00:42:22,828 --> 00:42:24,429
If you know what I mean.
746
00:42:24,495 --> 00:42:26,097
I'm terribly afraid I do.
747
00:42:29,434 --> 00:42:30,434
Woop.
748
00:42:30,468 --> 00:42:31,870
Excuse me.
749
00:42:40,545 --> 00:42:41,947
Mmm...
750
00:42:42,013 --> 00:42:43,248
Here's a little hitchhiker.
751
00:42:43,314 --> 00:42:45,050
Thank you.
752
00:42:45,116 --> 00:42:48,019
We have community
property laws
in this state,
753
00:42:48,086 --> 00:42:49,254
and he's finding out
754
00:42:49,320 --> 00:42:51,923
he can't treat me
the way he treats me.
755
00:42:51,990 --> 00:42:53,024
Aren't you having one?
756
00:42:53,091 --> 00:42:54,159
Little early for me.
757
00:42:54,225 --> 00:42:56,794
Early? It's April.
Cheers.
758
00:43:06,938 --> 00:43:10,808
So, until he acts like
a real husband should,
759
00:43:10,876 --> 00:43:13,244
I'm going to keep
all that money tied up,
760
00:43:13,311 --> 00:43:18,216
and his paradise hills
can just sit there.
761
00:43:18,283 --> 00:43:20,518
You're the reason
they stopped working
on that?
762
00:43:20,585 --> 00:43:21,819
Me and my lawyers.
763
00:43:21,887 --> 00:43:23,821
He thinks he's so smart.
764
00:43:23,889 --> 00:43:25,823
Oh, he's made a fortune,
765
00:43:25,891 --> 00:43:28,326
but he's all business, that man.
766
00:43:28,393 --> 00:43:31,329
I found the loveliest
house in bel air.
767
00:43:31,396 --> 00:43:34,532
I went into escrow,
but would he sign?
768
00:43:34,599 --> 00:43:35,833
Not Tom Jynson.
769
00:43:35,901 --> 00:43:37,335
He stays in paradise
770
00:43:37,402 --> 00:43:39,704
where he can keep his finger
on the pulse of things.
771
00:43:39,770 --> 00:43:41,139
That's a laugh.
772
00:43:41,206 --> 00:43:42,573
Is it?
773
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:48,980
Sure! He moves
to a hotel and leaves me
stuck in paradise.
774
00:43:56,654 --> 00:43:57,989
Oh, thank you.
775
00:44:00,191 --> 00:44:03,861
But a woman gets
that lonely feeling.
776
00:44:03,929 --> 00:44:06,364
She wants somebody to admire her
777
00:44:06,431 --> 00:44:09,567
and tell her
how pretty she looks
778
00:44:09,634 --> 00:44:10,969
and things like that.
779
00:44:11,036 --> 00:44:14,872
Why don't you come over here
where we can talk?
780
00:44:14,940 --> 00:44:17,575
You're coming in loud and clear.
781
00:44:17,642 --> 00:44:18,876
Oh, come on!
782
00:44:18,944 --> 00:44:20,878
You're so sympathetic
and understanding.
783
00:44:20,946 --> 00:44:23,881
You're a very easy woman
to understand.
784
00:44:23,949 --> 00:44:25,216
Am I?
785
00:44:25,283 --> 00:44:26,284
Uh-huh.
786
00:44:26,351 --> 00:44:29,820
May I ask you
a very personal question?
787
00:44:29,887 --> 00:44:30,956
Mm-hmm.
788
00:44:31,022 --> 00:44:33,191
Do you find me
attractive as a woman?
789
00:44:33,258 --> 00:44:37,295
You're extremely
attractive
as a woman.
790
00:44:37,362 --> 00:44:39,897
Tom doesn't find me attractive.
791
00:44:39,965 --> 00:44:41,899
He used to, but not anymore.
792
00:44:41,967 --> 00:44:43,510
That's the trouble with
those real-estate men.
793
00:44:43,534 --> 00:44:44,970
Once they get you
through escrow,
794
00:44:45,036 --> 00:44:46,371
they lose interest.
795
00:44:46,437 --> 00:44:50,908
He goes out with other women,
796
00:44:50,976 --> 00:44:55,913
one very other woman
in particular--Rosemary.
797
00:44:55,981 --> 00:44:57,915
Rosemary Howard?
798
00:44:57,983 --> 00:45:00,218
They were together all the time.
799
00:45:00,285 --> 00:45:04,222
He used to leave me
night after night after night.
800
00:45:04,289 --> 00:45:05,923
It was always business,
801
00:45:05,991 --> 00:45:08,226
and it was always Rosemary.
802
00:45:08,293 --> 00:45:13,431
I'm, uh, a lonely woman, Jack.
803
00:45:13,498 --> 00:45:16,234
So very, very lonely.
804
00:45:16,301 --> 00:45:19,237
Yeah, I'm beginning
to see what you mean.
805
00:45:19,304 --> 00:45:22,240
Have you ever thought
of buying a parakeet?
806
00:45:22,307 --> 00:45:24,942
They say tropical fish are fun.
807
00:45:25,010 --> 00:45:26,244
I can't help it.
808
00:45:26,311 --> 00:45:29,247
I'm not made of stone, you know?
809
00:45:29,314 --> 00:45:32,950
Not unless they're doing
some new things with it.
810
00:45:33,018 --> 00:45:35,253
I'm kind of lonely here myself.
811
00:45:35,320 --> 00:45:37,955
You are?
I'm a marvelous cook!
812
00:45:38,023 --> 00:45:39,957
I'll make you breakfast.
813
00:45:40,025 --> 00:45:41,459
I had breakfast.
814
00:45:41,526 --> 00:45:44,062
Tomorrow's?
815
00:45:44,129 --> 00:45:46,831
It'll get cold.
816
00:45:46,897 --> 00:45:50,068
Well, I'll come over
and heat it up.
817
00:45:54,972 --> 00:45:56,207
Oh, my gosh!
818
00:45:56,274 --> 00:45:58,676
I must have pushed
the wrong dial!
819
00:45:58,743 --> 00:46:00,978
What'd you set it for,
Niagara Falls?
820
00:46:01,046 --> 00:46:02,447
We got to shut it off.
821
00:46:02,513 --> 00:46:05,483
Aah! Ooh!
822
00:46:08,753 --> 00:46:10,021
Mommy, look.
823
00:46:10,088 --> 00:46:12,657
The house is throwing up.
824
00:46:14,692 --> 00:46:15,760
What's happening?
825
00:46:15,826 --> 00:46:17,295
Wait here.
Watch the kids.
826
00:46:20,298 --> 00:46:22,233
Oh, Jack, what's wrong?
827
00:46:22,300 --> 00:46:23,934
The washing machine.
828
00:46:24,001 --> 00:46:25,503
Get back!
829
00:46:25,570 --> 00:46:29,240
When it switches to rinse,
the whole town may go.
830
00:46:29,307 --> 00:46:31,542
I'll phone for help.
831
00:46:38,015 --> 00:46:39,784
Oh, Jack.
This is awful.
832
00:46:39,850 --> 00:46:44,289
First time
I've seen a kitchen
with a head on it.
833
00:46:44,355 --> 00:46:45,990
Don't make any waves.
834
00:46:47,525 --> 00:46:48,959
What's that?
835
00:46:49,026 --> 00:46:51,962
Look for a lump with a tail.
836
00:46:52,029 --> 00:46:53,464
Aah!
837
00:46:53,531 --> 00:46:54,965
Linda! Linda!
838
00:46:55,032 --> 00:46:57,502
She'll be bubbled to death.
839
00:46:57,568 --> 00:46:59,970
Oh, Linda. Linda.
840
00:47:00,037 --> 00:47:01,372
Here! Take him.
841
00:47:01,439 --> 00:47:05,476
Hope he doesn't shrink.
He'll be a chihuahua.
842
00:47:11,982 --> 00:47:13,984
Aah! Mad dog!
843
00:47:14,051 --> 00:47:16,154
Mad house!
844
00:47:27,565 --> 00:47:28,999
Where's the fire?
845
00:47:29,066 --> 00:47:30,301
No fire.
846
00:47:30,368 --> 00:47:31,469
What did you call us for?
847
00:47:31,536 --> 00:47:33,704
If I hollered "soap!"
Who'd come?
848
00:47:41,379 --> 00:47:43,314
Rosemary, when's the last time
849
00:47:43,381 --> 00:47:44,949
you stopped by your house?
850
00:47:45,015 --> 00:47:46,417
A week ago. Why?
851
00:47:46,484 --> 00:47:50,555
Did it look
as if there was any
dirty work going on?
852
00:47:50,621 --> 00:47:51,622
Dirty work?
853
00:47:51,689 --> 00:47:52,857
You know.
854
00:47:52,923 --> 00:47:54,925
No, I don't know.
855
00:47:54,992 --> 00:47:56,827
The house never looked cleaner.
856
00:47:56,894 --> 00:48:00,398
There is definitely
something strange
going on.
857
00:48:00,465 --> 00:48:02,333
Drive down Katherina street,
858
00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:05,035
and you'll see women--
our ladies--
859
00:48:05,102 --> 00:48:08,038
wearing lipstick
and dresses, during the day!
860
00:48:08,105 --> 00:48:10,341
It's starting to spread
throughout paradise.
861
00:48:10,408 --> 00:48:13,344
Tom, exactly
what is Mrs. brown
telling you?
862
00:48:13,411 --> 00:48:16,347
I'll tell you what she told me.
863
00:48:16,414 --> 00:48:19,350
She told me that
your harmless Mr. Adams
864
00:48:19,417 --> 00:48:23,053
is entertaining women
every afternoon in your house.
865
00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,055
Collectively or individually?
866
00:48:25,122 --> 00:48:27,558
Either way, I don't like it.
867
00:48:27,625 --> 00:48:29,059
It looks bad.
868
00:48:29,126 --> 00:48:32,663
I want you to find out
what is going on.
869
00:48:37,568 --> 00:48:39,804
Just picture this scene
for yourselves--
870
00:48:39,870 --> 00:48:41,939
your husband comes home.
He walks in the house.
871
00:48:42,006 --> 00:48:45,810
He finds candles flickering
and the table set for two,
872
00:48:45,876 --> 00:48:47,712
soft, romantic music,
873
00:48:47,778 --> 00:48:51,015
vintage wine chilled,
874
00:48:51,081 --> 00:48:53,451
a faint, alluring scent
of perfume.
875
00:48:53,518 --> 00:48:55,486
The setting is perfect.
876
00:48:55,553 --> 00:48:58,155
Then he discovers a woman
he's never seen before--
877
00:48:58,223 --> 00:49:01,125
beautiful, seductive, exciting.
878
00:49:01,192 --> 00:49:02,527
What does he do?
879
00:49:02,593 --> 00:49:03,894
I'll kill him!
880
00:49:03,961 --> 00:49:05,996
Ha ha ha!
881
00:49:06,063 --> 00:49:07,432
The woman is you.
882
00:49:07,498 --> 00:49:09,834
Oh!
883
00:49:09,900 --> 00:49:12,970
It'll be an evening
you'll always remember.
884
00:49:13,037 --> 00:49:16,040
You'll awaken passions
you've never known before.
885
00:49:16,106 --> 00:49:17,542
I guarantee it'll work.
886
00:49:17,608 --> 00:49:20,144
But what about the children?
887
00:49:20,211 --> 00:49:22,413
Cooperate,
just like the Europeans.
888
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,416
Leland's due home tonight.
Would you watch Janie?
889
00:49:25,483 --> 00:49:27,418
You take my three tomorrow.
890
00:49:27,485 --> 00:49:29,420
I'll take the boys tonight.
891
00:49:29,487 --> 00:49:31,389
That's the idea, girls.
892
00:49:31,456 --> 00:49:34,659
Tomorrow, I want a report
from all who try it tonight.
893
00:49:34,725 --> 00:49:36,927
Happy hunting and
toujours I'amour.
894
00:50:07,157 --> 00:50:08,459
Hi, Rosemary.
895
00:50:08,526 --> 00:50:11,095
You missed the most
fascinating discussion.
896
00:50:11,161 --> 00:50:13,398
Why haven't you
joined our group?
897
00:50:13,464 --> 00:50:15,400
I haven't had time, Camille.
898
00:50:15,466 --> 00:50:17,067
I stopped by on business.
899
00:50:17,134 --> 00:50:18,134
See you.
900
00:50:18,168 --> 00:50:19,168
Bye-bye.
901
00:50:19,203 --> 00:50:20,203
Bye.
902
00:50:20,237 --> 00:50:23,408
It was wonderful.
903
00:50:23,474 --> 00:50:25,410
Well, won't you come in?
904
00:50:25,476 --> 00:50:28,012
I'll only be a minute.
905
00:50:31,482 --> 00:50:34,819
What sort of a group
have you formed,
Mr. Adams?
906
00:50:34,885 --> 00:50:36,321
It's surely not aa.
907
00:50:36,387 --> 00:50:39,123
One harmless Martini each
just to loosen up.
908
00:50:39,189 --> 00:50:40,224
Care for one?
909
00:50:40,291 --> 00:50:43,561
I tighten up with Martinis.
910
00:50:43,628 --> 00:50:45,430
Have you found a secretary?
911
00:50:45,496 --> 00:50:48,232
I thought you were
looking into that.
912
00:50:48,299 --> 00:50:51,736
You seem to be
interviewing all the women,
every afternoon.
913
00:50:51,802 --> 00:50:53,971
We're conducting
a cultural exchange.
914
00:50:54,038 --> 00:50:56,741
Discussions
of life, love,
and the pursuit.
915
00:50:56,807 --> 00:50:59,977
It's had
a bracing effect
on the community.
916
00:51:00,044 --> 00:51:02,613
There's been a run on girdles.
917
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:06,150
Your friend Niles' books
are all sold out.
918
00:51:06,216 --> 00:51:07,661
How do you know
he's a friend of mine?
919
00:51:07,685 --> 00:51:11,188
You signed that petition.
920
00:51:11,255 --> 00:51:13,057
Do you really know him?
921
00:51:13,123 --> 00:51:14,359
Intimately.
922
00:51:14,425 --> 00:51:15,905
We worked
on the same
sports department
923
00:51:15,960 --> 00:51:17,528
back in Cleveland.
924
00:51:17,595 --> 00:51:20,064
Is he as wicked as his books?
925
00:51:20,130 --> 00:51:23,601
I find him fascinating.
926
00:51:23,668 --> 00:51:25,302
You'd like a.J. Niles.
927
00:51:25,370 --> 00:51:27,104
Splendid fellow.
928
00:51:27,171 --> 00:51:28,773
A bachelor, too, by the way.
929
00:51:28,839 --> 00:51:30,641
What's he look like?
930
00:51:30,708 --> 00:51:33,043
He's devilishly attractive.
931
00:51:33,110 --> 00:51:34,645
I haven't seen a picture.
932
00:51:34,712 --> 00:51:38,549
Most writers
have their portraits
on the backs of books.
933
00:51:38,616 --> 00:51:41,218
If his face became well-known,
934
00:51:41,285 --> 00:51:44,221
it'd be a handicap
to his research.
935
00:51:44,288 --> 00:51:45,590
I'll tell you one thing.
936
00:51:45,656 --> 00:51:48,693
He'd be crazy about you.
937
00:51:48,759 --> 00:51:50,260
Oh?
938
00:51:50,327 --> 00:51:52,262
What makes you so sure?
939
00:51:52,329 --> 00:51:53,531
Your attitude.
940
00:51:53,598 --> 00:51:55,566
Your refreshingly
realistic attitude.
941
00:51:55,633 --> 00:51:59,203
You don't have
any of the natural
female instinct
942
00:51:59,269 --> 00:52:01,305
to deprive
a bachelor
of his freedom.
943
00:52:01,372 --> 00:52:03,508
I stopped by to tell you
944
00:52:03,574 --> 00:52:06,477
I could get you
a part-time secretary.
945
00:52:06,544 --> 00:52:07,554
You could have called that in.
946
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,616
See how it works?
Excuse me.
947
00:52:14,952 --> 00:52:16,353
Hello.
948
00:52:16,421 --> 00:52:17,988
Oh, hello.
949
00:52:18,055 --> 00:52:19,457
I'm not sure.
Hold on.
950
00:52:19,524 --> 00:52:20,691
Are you busy tonight,
951
00:52:20,758 --> 00:52:21,526
miss Howard?
952
00:52:21,592 --> 00:52:22,760
For dinner, I mean.
953
00:52:22,827 --> 00:52:24,629
Yes.
954
00:52:24,695 --> 00:52:25,695
Do you know someplace
955
00:52:25,730 --> 00:52:27,498
we can have dinner for $5.00?
956
00:52:27,565 --> 00:52:29,266
My allowance is late.
957
00:52:29,333 --> 00:52:30,568
Barbecue's fine.
958
00:52:31,268 --> 00:52:32,937
Where?
959
00:52:33,003 --> 00:52:35,072
The pig pit?
960
00:52:35,139 --> 00:52:36,340
If you say so.
961
00:52:36,407 --> 00:52:38,308
I'll pick you up around 7:00.
962
00:52:38,375 --> 00:52:40,811
O.K. You pick me up.
Bye.
963
00:52:43,013 --> 00:52:45,082
I thought the four of us
could eat together.
964
00:52:45,149 --> 00:52:46,316
The four of us?
965
00:52:46,383 --> 00:52:49,353
Me and my date,
and you and Tom Jynson.
966
00:52:49,420 --> 00:52:50,721
He's a married man.
967
00:52:50,788 --> 00:52:54,425
Dolores Jynson's
a married woman.
968
00:52:54,492 --> 00:52:56,661
They're practically divorced.
969
00:52:56,727 --> 00:52:59,129
The four of us
would be quite
civilized.
970
00:52:59,196 --> 00:53:01,031
Could be quite amusing.
971
00:53:01,098 --> 00:53:02,299
Thanks, Mr. Adams,
972
00:53:02,366 --> 00:53:04,969
but I'm not that desperate
for amusement.
973
00:53:05,035 --> 00:53:08,973
Good-bye.
974
00:53:10,741 --> 00:53:13,377
The American woman,
in her desperation,
975
00:53:13,444 --> 00:53:14,812
driven toward what she regards
976
00:53:14,879 --> 00:53:16,914
as equality
with the American man,
977
00:53:16,981 --> 00:53:19,450
has somehow lost
the art of romance.
978
00:53:19,517 --> 00:53:21,385
Now her love
for the conveniences--
979
00:53:21,452 --> 00:53:24,655
the electric can opener, TV--
980
00:53:27,191 --> 00:53:29,293
That could be stronger.
981
00:53:29,359 --> 00:53:31,128
Let me see...
982
00:53:34,799 --> 00:53:37,434
Memo--check the girls tomorrow
983
00:53:37,502 --> 00:53:40,838
to see how the experiment
turned out.
984
00:53:42,339 --> 00:53:45,109
Camille, honey, I'm home!
985
00:54:03,093 --> 00:54:04,695
Well?
986
00:54:04,762 --> 00:54:09,399
Excuse me, madam.
Must be in the wrong house.
987
00:54:09,466 --> 00:54:11,068
Leland Quinlaw!
988
00:54:12,937 --> 00:54:16,140
I did not lose
the electric light money
989
00:54:16,206 --> 00:54:17,575
in the bridge game!
990
00:54:17,642 --> 00:54:18,876
Then turn them on.
991
00:54:18,943 --> 00:54:21,078
I want candlelight and romance!
992
00:54:21,145 --> 00:54:23,413
I want the lights on!
993
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:25,415
And what's with the violins?
994
00:54:25,482 --> 00:54:27,117
Who needs this?
995
00:54:27,184 --> 00:54:29,219
I want to see my kids,
996
00:54:29,286 --> 00:54:33,423
and I'm not going to
eat dinner in the bedroom!
997
00:54:33,490 --> 00:54:35,425
Take off that ridiculous dress!
998
00:54:40,330 --> 00:54:42,132
Hey, baby.
Come here!
999
00:54:42,199 --> 00:54:43,267
Larry!
1000
00:54:43,333 --> 00:54:46,203
You want to play on the couch!
1001
00:54:46,270 --> 00:54:47,938
Larry, I've got to think.
1002
00:54:48,005 --> 00:54:52,009
Not for what
I've got in mind, baby!
1003
00:54:56,513 --> 00:54:59,449
You and your ideas, baby.
You fracture me.
1004
00:54:59,516 --> 00:55:02,452
Why don't we do this
every night?
1005
00:55:02,519 --> 00:55:06,456
You don't, um, miss the kids?
1006
00:55:06,523 --> 00:55:08,759
What kids?
1007
00:55:10,227 --> 00:55:11,461
Baby.
1008
00:55:11,528 --> 00:55:12,462
Hmm?
1009
00:55:12,529 --> 00:55:14,464
Let's skip dinner.
1010
00:55:14,531 --> 00:55:16,466
Mmm...It's cold now anyway.
1011
00:55:16,533 --> 00:55:18,335
Yeah, but I'm not.
1012
00:55:18,402 --> 00:55:21,305
Oh, c'est la vie!
1013
00:56:13,624 --> 00:56:14,659
The ribs were delicious.
1014
00:56:14,725 --> 00:56:16,393
You should have tasted them.
1015
00:56:16,460 --> 00:56:17,728
Mm-hmm.
1016
00:56:17,795 --> 00:56:19,964
Shrimp cocktail
and five Gibsons--
1017
00:56:20,030 --> 00:56:22,566
not a very well-balanced diet.
1018
00:56:22,633 --> 00:56:24,969
I shouldn't have had
the shrimp cocktail.
1019
00:56:25,035 --> 00:56:27,004
Sure you won't have coffee?
1020
00:56:27,071 --> 00:56:29,039
I shouldn't have
brought you here.
1021
00:56:29,106 --> 00:56:31,709
They don't have
the most versatile
wine cellar.
1022
00:56:31,776 --> 00:56:33,543
Tom brought me here.
1023
00:56:33,610 --> 00:56:34,712
Tom again.
1024
00:56:34,779 --> 00:56:36,280
That dirty rat!
1025
00:56:36,346 --> 00:56:39,950
So you've
been telling me
for an hour.
1026
00:56:40,017 --> 00:56:42,586
He'd never take me
to expensive places,
1027
00:56:42,653 --> 00:56:45,189
the dirty cheapskate!
1028
00:56:45,255 --> 00:56:46,456
If your mascara runs,
1029
00:56:46,523 --> 00:56:48,492
you'll discolor your vodka.
1030
00:56:48,558 --> 00:56:50,094
You better be careful.
1031
00:56:52,496 --> 00:56:54,164
Excuse me.
1032
00:57:09,479 --> 00:57:10,479
Miss Howard.
1033
00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:11,749
Has Tom been here already?
1034
00:57:11,816 --> 00:57:13,250
Tom Jynson? No.
1035
00:57:13,317 --> 00:57:14,251
Where's Dolores?
1036
00:57:14,318 --> 00:57:16,620
Emergency face repair.
Please sit down.
1037
00:57:16,687 --> 00:57:17,855
No, thanks.
1038
00:57:17,922 --> 00:57:19,857
Fortunately, I overheard
your conversation
1039
00:57:19,924 --> 00:57:21,425
and knew where to find you.
1040
00:57:21,491 --> 00:57:22,793
The house burn down?
1041
00:57:22,860 --> 00:57:25,062
No, but Tom is very angry.
1042
00:57:25,129 --> 00:57:29,666
Mrs. brown saw
you and Dolores leaving,
1043
00:57:29,734 --> 00:57:31,235
so she called him.
1044
00:57:31,301 --> 00:57:34,204
Now he's scouting
every restaurant around.
1045
00:57:34,271 --> 00:57:35,272
He'll come here.
1046
00:57:35,339 --> 00:57:36,339
Why not hire a detective?
1047
00:57:36,373 --> 00:57:37,842
He's talked about that.
1048
00:57:37,908 --> 00:57:43,547
He's determined to get
something on Dolores
to keep the alimony down.
1049
00:57:43,613 --> 00:57:46,083
Tom isn't a man.
He's a business machine.
1050
00:57:49,219 --> 00:57:50,020
It's Tom.
1051
00:57:50,087 --> 00:57:52,056
Here comes old IBM now.
1052
00:57:58,796 --> 00:57:59,997
Oh, hello, Tom.
1053
00:58:00,064 --> 00:58:01,265
Rosemary--
1054
00:58:01,331 --> 00:58:03,734
I thought you stayed
away from Gibsons.
1055
00:58:03,801 --> 00:58:05,069
Won't you join us?
1056
00:58:05,135 --> 00:58:07,504
No, thanks.
I'm looking for Dolores.
1057
00:58:07,571 --> 00:58:10,174
Going on your second honeymoon?
1058
00:58:10,240 --> 00:58:12,209
You didn't say
you were going to dinner
1059
00:58:12,276 --> 00:58:14,912
with Mr. Adams.
1060
00:58:14,979 --> 00:58:16,781
That's no one's business
but my own.
1061
00:58:16,847 --> 00:58:20,484
Unfortunately,
we were only discussing
miss Howard's business.
1062
00:58:20,550 --> 00:58:23,720
Yes. Mr. Adams is thinking
of extending his lease.
1063
00:58:23,788 --> 00:58:25,890
We may need a new one.
1064
00:58:25,956 --> 00:58:27,557
Well, from what I hear,
1065
00:58:27,624 --> 00:58:30,327
you'd better add
a morality clause.
1066
00:58:31,728 --> 00:58:33,630
Takes a real dirty mind
1067
00:58:33,697 --> 00:58:35,933
to believe
everything
Mrs. brown says.
1068
00:58:36,000 --> 00:58:37,567
Wait a minute, miss Howard.
1069
00:58:37,634 --> 00:58:38,836
Mission accomplished.
1070
00:58:38,903 --> 00:58:40,737
Thanks,
but I've been
trying for weeks
1071
00:58:40,805 --> 00:58:43,140
to get you to have
dinner with me.
1072
00:58:43,207 --> 00:58:44,141
Have a Gibson?
1073
00:58:44,208 --> 00:58:47,077
I hate Gibsons.
1074
00:58:47,144 --> 00:58:49,646
We're not allowed to drink
on rescue missions.
1075
00:58:49,713 --> 00:58:53,650
You're a real problem, you know.
1076
00:58:53,717 --> 00:58:55,953
Well, I'm not sorry for you.
1077
00:58:56,020 --> 00:58:58,055
You certainly don't lack
female companionship.
1078
00:58:58,122 --> 00:59:01,158
I only want to maintain
peace in paradise.
1079
00:59:01,225 --> 00:59:02,759
Jack Adams!
1080
00:59:02,827 --> 00:59:04,929
The minute I leave the table!
1081
00:59:04,995 --> 00:59:07,064
Honestly, you men are all alike!
1082
00:59:07,131 --> 00:59:09,466
You can't trust any man!
1083
00:59:09,533 --> 00:59:11,969
Excuse me, miss Howard.
1084
00:59:12,036 --> 00:59:14,371
Well, I'd better
explain it to her.
1085
00:59:14,438 --> 00:59:16,406
Yeah, but--
1086
00:59:17,674 --> 00:59:18,909
waiter?
1087
00:59:20,110 --> 00:59:21,145
Waiter?
1088
00:59:23,814 --> 00:59:26,316
Oh, Jacques.
1089
00:59:26,383 --> 00:59:28,585
C'etait merveilleux.
1090
00:59:28,652 --> 00:59:30,120
Cela a developpe exactement
1091
00:59:30,187 --> 00:59:32,089
comme vous l'avez predit.
1092
00:59:32,156 --> 00:59:35,725
Merci. Votre Mari,
est-Ce Que ca lui
a plu?
1093
00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:37,761
Il en etait ebloui.
1094
00:59:37,828 --> 00:59:40,464
Nous voulons la faire
chaque semaine.
1095
01:00:22,072 --> 01:00:23,941
Hello. Come in.
1096
01:00:24,008 --> 01:00:26,843
Or would you feel safer
if I came out?
1097
01:00:26,911 --> 01:00:29,914
Your discussion group
will be here soon.
1098
01:00:29,980 --> 01:00:31,248
There's safety in numbers.
1099
01:00:31,315 --> 01:00:34,451
Not if the numbers are 38-22-34.
1100
01:00:34,518 --> 01:00:35,953
Ooh, you flatter me.
1101
01:00:36,020 --> 01:00:38,455
What can I do for you?
1102
01:00:38,522 --> 01:00:39,957
Keep away from Dolores.
1103
01:00:40,024 --> 01:00:43,460
I won't chase around,
keeping you out of trouble.
1104
01:00:43,527 --> 01:00:45,462
Trouble?
I'm a big boy.
1105
01:00:45,529 --> 01:00:46,964
I shave and everything.
1106
01:00:47,031 --> 01:00:48,966
If Tom had caught you,
1107
01:00:49,033 --> 01:00:51,468
you'd be in enough hot water
1108
01:00:51,535 --> 01:00:53,270
to shave for a week.
1109
01:00:53,337 --> 01:00:55,272
He'd have filed for divorce.
1110
01:00:55,339 --> 01:00:58,475
I have a financial interest
in paradise village.
1111
01:00:58,542 --> 01:01:00,277
I don't want a scandal.
1112
01:01:00,344 --> 01:01:03,280
Have you resumed work
on paradise hills?
1113
01:01:03,347 --> 01:01:06,283
You know we haven't.
Why do you ask?
1114
01:01:06,350 --> 01:01:08,852
You haven't found me
a secretary.
1115
01:01:08,919 --> 01:01:10,554
The work's piling up.
1116
01:01:10,620 --> 01:01:12,222
Could you help part-time?
1117
01:01:12,289 --> 01:01:14,124
Me?
1118
01:01:14,191 --> 01:01:17,194
You're the only one
here I can trust.
1119
01:01:17,261 --> 01:01:18,095
Why?
1120
01:01:18,162 --> 01:01:20,497
It's the nature of my work.
1121
01:01:20,564 --> 01:01:23,833
What is the nature of your work?
1122
01:01:23,900 --> 01:01:25,835
It's a series of reports.
1123
01:01:25,902 --> 01:01:27,137
Oh, government work?
1124
01:01:27,204 --> 01:01:29,639
I am working for the government.
1125
01:01:29,706 --> 01:01:33,143
It occurred to me,
until you resume
paradise hills,
1126
01:01:33,210 --> 01:01:35,845
you could help me each evening.
1127
01:01:35,912 --> 01:01:38,848
Sorry. I don't like
to work nights.
1128
01:01:38,915 --> 01:01:40,850
Wait. Let's discuss this more.
1129
01:01:40,917 --> 01:01:42,319
There's nothing to discuss.
1130
01:01:42,386 --> 01:01:44,721
I'd like to explain over dinner.
1131
01:01:44,788 --> 01:01:47,857
I've discovered
a little place
not only affordable,
1132
01:01:47,924 --> 01:01:50,760
but where the food's
fit for the angels
1133
01:01:50,827 --> 01:01:53,297
and the drinks for the gods.
1134
01:01:55,499 --> 01:01:57,367
Call me later.
1135
01:02:04,674 --> 01:02:07,777
Is he a bartender
or a landscape
architect?
1136
01:02:07,844 --> 01:02:09,079
He's an artist.
1137
01:02:09,146 --> 01:02:11,081
Care for a scorpion's kiss?
1138
01:02:11,148 --> 01:02:12,816
That's what they're called?
1139
01:02:12,882 --> 01:02:14,818
And this is a bikini.
1140
01:02:14,884 --> 01:02:16,320
That's an odd name.
1141
01:02:16,386 --> 01:02:20,357
There's not much to it,
but it hits the right spots.
1142
01:02:20,424 --> 01:02:23,260
I've had two
and don't feel
a thing.
1143
01:02:23,327 --> 01:02:25,829
We'd better get you another one.
1144
01:02:25,895 --> 01:02:27,831
Another brace
of bikinis, please.
1145
01:02:27,897 --> 01:02:30,234
Sorry. Only two to a customer.
1146
01:02:30,300 --> 01:02:31,201
Come on.
1147
01:02:31,268 --> 01:02:33,070
That's a powerful drink.
1148
01:02:33,137 --> 01:02:34,671
There's an old Tahitian saying--
1149
01:02:34,738 --> 01:02:38,208
"okka noku pama
talla peeno
pulla okka."
1150
01:02:38,275 --> 01:02:41,078
Oh. Just what did that
old Tahitian mean?
1151
01:02:41,145 --> 01:02:43,580
Who knows?
I'm from
San Francisco.
1152
01:02:43,647 --> 01:02:45,082
Loopholes everywhere.
1153
01:02:45,149 --> 01:02:47,584
Your booth is ready,
Mr. Adams.
1154
01:02:47,651 --> 01:02:49,086
Oh, thank you.
1155
01:02:49,153 --> 01:02:52,289
Send over a couple
scorpion's kisses, then.
1156
01:02:52,356 --> 01:02:53,690
Thank you.
1157
01:02:57,461 --> 01:03:00,230
Just make it
the small scorpions.
1158
01:03:08,672 --> 01:03:10,040
You all right?
1159
01:03:10,107 --> 01:03:13,543
I'm fine, but why
are you leaning?
1160
01:03:17,181 --> 01:03:18,748
Oh, that's better.
1161
01:03:18,815 --> 01:03:20,750
Now, sit up straight.
1162
01:03:22,686 --> 01:03:24,121
Oh.
1163
01:03:24,188 --> 01:03:26,123
You know, this is really
1164
01:03:26,190 --> 01:03:28,125
a very attractive restaurant.
1165
01:03:28,192 --> 01:03:29,926
You haven't been here before?
1166
01:03:29,993 --> 01:03:33,630
Well, the atmosphere
is hardly conducive
to business.
1167
01:03:33,697 --> 01:03:35,165
Oh.
1168
01:03:35,232 --> 01:03:38,168
Is that all you discuss
at dinner--business?
1169
01:03:38,235 --> 01:03:40,404
That's not what
Dolores tells me.
1170
01:03:40,470 --> 01:03:42,439
That's great.
That's really great.
1171
01:03:42,506 --> 01:03:45,275
Tom thinks every time
he turns his back,
1172
01:03:45,342 --> 01:03:47,844
she's out chasing
every other man.
1173
01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,146
Dolores loves Tom,
1174
01:03:49,213 --> 01:03:52,149
and you and I could help them.
1175
01:03:52,216 --> 01:03:55,152
There's just a breakdown
in their communications.
1176
01:03:55,219 --> 01:03:57,154
Ha ha ha ha!
1177
01:03:57,221 --> 01:03:59,189
What's so amusing?
1178
01:03:59,256 --> 01:04:02,025
Oh, Tom thinks
our paradise bachelor is
1179
01:04:02,092 --> 01:04:04,060
such a dangerous man--
1180
01:04:04,128 --> 01:04:06,996
a satyr running rampant
in a harem.
1181
01:04:07,063 --> 01:04:11,034
Now you turn out to be
dear Abby in britches.
1182
01:04:29,586 --> 01:04:32,522
Oh, I didn't know
you were so talented.
1183
01:04:32,589 --> 01:04:36,059
There are many
things you don't
know about me.
1184
01:04:36,126 --> 01:04:39,062
I can sail a boat,
upholster furniture,
1185
01:04:39,129 --> 01:04:41,064
skin-dive for abalone,
1186
01:04:41,131 --> 01:04:42,599
bake strudel,
1187
01:04:42,666 --> 01:04:46,770
know the names
of all 50 states
and their capitals,
1188
01:04:46,836 --> 01:04:49,072
and I play a mean piano,
1189
01:04:49,139 --> 01:04:51,208
among other things.
1190
01:04:51,275 --> 01:04:54,110
Let me hear more
about the other things.
1191
01:05:12,496 --> 01:05:14,097
Come dance with kuminaw.
1192
01:05:14,164 --> 01:05:16,600
No, honey. You're
one bikini late.
1193
01:05:16,666 --> 01:05:19,803
I'd have to take
a pill. I couldn't.
1194
01:05:19,869 --> 01:05:21,805
No. It makes me seasick.
1195
01:05:21,871 --> 01:05:23,807
I couldn't.
No. I really--
1196
01:05:23,873 --> 01:05:26,376
I know, but you...
1197
01:06:09,719 --> 01:06:12,656
"It's a strange paradox
that the American woman,
1198
01:06:12,722 --> 01:06:14,867
"who lives in a world where
the bachelor and the spinster
1199
01:06:14,891 --> 01:06:18,995
"meet disapproval
and therefore can be satisfied
1200
01:06:19,062 --> 01:06:20,530
"with nothing but marriage,
1201
01:06:20,597 --> 01:06:23,400
"finds so much discontent,
restlessness, and boredom
1202
01:06:23,467 --> 01:06:24,868
"in the marital state.
1203
01:06:24,934 --> 01:06:28,705
Seeking relief from
the burdens of domesticity--"
1204
01:06:28,772 --> 01:06:30,440
excuse me, Jack.
1205
01:06:30,507 --> 01:06:33,977
How about if Camille went
red, instead of black?
1206
01:06:34,043 --> 01:06:36,513
Leland's crazy
about Susan Hayward,
and she's a redhead.
1207
01:06:36,580 --> 01:06:39,483
He tells you that
so you won't know
1208
01:06:39,549 --> 01:06:42,051
how he feels about Lollobrigida.
1209
01:06:42,118 --> 01:06:43,687
See? Come on.
1210
01:06:43,753 --> 01:06:45,489
Yeah.
1211
01:06:45,555 --> 01:06:47,291
"She exercises much imagination,
1212
01:06:47,357 --> 01:06:48,692
"frequently
through group projects
1213
01:06:48,758 --> 01:06:51,895
that will, in some way,
stimulate her."
1214
01:06:54,498 --> 01:06:56,366
Larry, is that you, honey?
1215
01:07:00,637 --> 01:07:02,372
Well?
1216
01:07:04,974 --> 01:07:06,209
Take it off.
1217
01:07:06,276 --> 01:07:07,711
Take what off?
1218
01:07:07,777 --> 01:07:10,213
That hideous wig--
Take it off.
1219
01:07:10,280 --> 01:07:14,217
All right.
All right,
it's not hideous.
1220
01:07:14,284 --> 01:07:16,219
Only, take it off.
1221
01:07:16,286 --> 01:07:18,221
Oh, Larry.
1222
01:07:18,288 --> 01:07:19,923
It isn't.
1223
01:07:19,989 --> 01:07:22,091
It's not a wig.
1224
01:07:22,158 --> 01:07:25,595
You mean you dyed it that color?
1225
01:07:25,662 --> 01:07:27,397
Yes.
1226
01:07:37,807 --> 01:07:40,744
Just wasn't coming
up to speed, that's all.
1227
01:07:40,810 --> 01:07:42,946
Hey, where'd you
learn electronics?
1228
01:07:43,012 --> 01:07:44,247
It's simple mechanics.
1229
01:07:44,314 --> 01:07:48,051
Now let's see if it will work.
1230
01:07:51,020 --> 01:07:52,556
Well?
1231
01:07:57,494 --> 01:07:59,829
You're doing this
for the government?
1232
01:07:59,896 --> 01:08:03,567
They can hardly wait
for it to come out.
1233
01:08:04,768 --> 01:08:07,971
Sounds like something
a.J. Niles might write.
1234
01:08:08,037 --> 01:08:09,439
Look, I trust you.
1235
01:08:09,506 --> 01:08:11,775
I can tell you the truth.
1236
01:08:11,841 --> 01:08:14,978
Mr. palfrey came up
with this idea.
1237
01:08:15,044 --> 01:08:16,413
What idea?
1238
01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:19,483
A book like Niles',
only about America.
1239
01:08:19,549 --> 01:08:22,519
Palfrey thinks
there's a mint in it.
1240
01:08:22,586 --> 01:08:24,320
Where's the government come in?
1241
01:08:24,388 --> 01:08:27,256
They're waiting for the mint.
1242
01:08:27,323 --> 01:08:28,558
Oh.
1243
01:08:30,860 --> 01:08:33,997
Know something?
This is better
than a.J. Niles.
1244
01:08:34,063 --> 01:08:35,665
Thank you.
1245
01:08:37,401 --> 01:08:39,335
What are you doing?
1246
01:08:39,403 --> 01:08:42,338
Taking it to the office
to transcribe it.
1247
01:08:42,406 --> 01:08:44,641
It's quiet here.
We can concentrate.
1248
01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,576
That's what I'm afraid of.
1249
01:08:46,643 --> 01:08:49,446
Afraid?
I'm a pussycat.
1250
01:08:49,513 --> 01:08:51,448
From the gossip around here,
1251
01:08:51,515 --> 01:08:52,749
you're a tomcat.
1252
01:08:52,816 --> 01:08:55,318
Me? You, of all people, know--
1253
01:08:55,385 --> 01:08:57,320
look, there's been enough talk.
1254
01:08:57,387 --> 01:08:59,322
Why give them more fuel?
1255
01:08:59,389 --> 01:09:01,324
Every husband's
talking about you.
1256
01:09:01,391 --> 01:09:04,360
Sure you don't want them
talking about you?
1257
01:09:04,428 --> 01:09:06,863
They've already
talked about me, Dolores,
1258
01:09:06,930 --> 01:09:08,364
and every other woman.
1259
01:09:08,432 --> 01:09:10,567
Aristotle said
the high-minded man
1260
01:09:10,634 --> 01:09:12,101
is more interested in the truth
1261
01:09:12,168 --> 01:09:14,103
than in what people believe.
1262
01:09:14,170 --> 01:09:15,872
Are you so high-minded?
1263
01:09:15,939 --> 01:09:17,841
My behavior's been
most exemplary.
1264
01:09:17,907 --> 01:09:21,044
Do you realize
I haven't even
been kissed
1265
01:09:21,110 --> 01:09:22,579
since I moved in?
1266
01:09:22,646 --> 01:09:25,582
No? I mean, no,
I didn't realize.
1267
01:09:25,649 --> 01:09:27,917
It's a record, for me.
1268
01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:31,187
Oh, Rosemary, I'm sorry.
1269
01:09:31,254 --> 01:09:33,690
That's all right.
I was leaving.
1270
01:09:33,757 --> 01:09:34,658
You were?
1271
01:09:34,724 --> 01:09:36,660
I shouldn't have burst in,
1272
01:09:36,726 --> 01:09:38,495
but it's an emergency.
1273
01:09:38,562 --> 01:09:41,698
What have you done to your hair?
1274
01:09:41,765 --> 01:09:42,765
You see?
1275
01:09:42,799 --> 01:09:44,868
Larry's tone
was positively menacing.
1276
01:09:44,934 --> 01:09:46,670
He walked out on me.
1277
01:09:46,736 --> 01:09:49,673
He says he's going to get drunk.
1278
01:09:49,739 --> 01:09:51,675
That might be an improvement.
1279
01:09:51,741 --> 01:09:54,878
But I promised Donna
to come over tonight.
1280
01:09:54,944 --> 01:09:56,379
Go without him.
1281
01:09:56,446 --> 01:09:57,947
Leave the boys?
1282
01:09:58,014 --> 01:10:01,518
Donna's my sister.
I can't tell her
Larry walked out.
1283
01:10:01,585 --> 01:10:03,052
You know how families are.
1284
01:10:03,119 --> 01:10:06,523
Why don't you
stay with
the boys?
1285
01:10:06,590 --> 01:10:08,224
Me baby-sit?
1286
01:10:08,291 --> 01:10:09,526
You started it.
1287
01:10:09,593 --> 01:10:11,528
So will you help me?
1288
01:10:11,595 --> 01:10:14,531
The kids are asleep.
There's nothing to do.
1289
01:10:14,598 --> 01:10:17,033
You can stay here and work.
1290
01:10:17,100 --> 01:10:20,236
Well, I guess
there's nothing
wrong with that.
1291
01:10:20,303 --> 01:10:22,839
Oh, Jack. Mmm!
You're a Saint.
1292
01:10:24,474 --> 01:10:26,710
There goes my record.
1293
01:10:29,613 --> 01:10:31,548
"What young parents without help
1294
01:10:31,615 --> 01:10:34,618
"did before there were
baby-sitters is unclear.
1295
01:10:34,684 --> 01:10:37,253
There's no evidence to--"
1296
01:10:37,320 --> 01:10:39,255
you're supposed to be asleep.
1297
01:10:39,322 --> 01:10:40,657
I'm hungry.
1298
01:10:40,724 --> 01:10:43,259
What can I get for you?
1299
01:10:43,326 --> 01:10:44,728
A sammich.
1300
01:10:44,794 --> 01:10:46,229
What kind of sammich?
1301
01:10:46,295 --> 01:10:48,665
A pickle
and peanut butter sammich.
1302
01:10:48,732 --> 01:10:50,867
Pickle and peanut butter.
1303
01:10:52,669 --> 01:10:55,004
Not interested
in growing up, huh?
1304
01:10:56,339 --> 01:10:58,274
See? You woke your brother.
1305
01:10:58,341 --> 01:11:01,277
No, I didn't.
He woke hisself up.
1306
01:11:01,344 --> 01:11:02,879
Shh.
1307
01:11:07,350 --> 01:11:09,586
Well...
1308
01:11:09,653 --> 01:11:12,589
Well, how long
you in for, Stevie?
1309
01:11:12,656 --> 01:11:14,591
I'm Stevie!
1310
01:11:14,658 --> 01:11:16,793
He's Dougie!
1311
01:11:16,860 --> 01:11:18,294
Oh, oh.
1312
01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:21,297
Well, come on.
Let me spring you.
1313
01:11:21,364 --> 01:11:23,299
Come on, doll.
Come on.
1314
01:11:23,366 --> 01:11:25,602
You don't have to cry. You--
1315
01:11:25,669 --> 01:11:28,738
uh-oh. High tide.
1316
01:11:36,279 --> 01:11:37,614
Aw!
1317
01:11:58,401 --> 01:11:59,636
Why, Larry.
1318
01:11:59,703 --> 01:12:01,337
Where's Adams?
1319
01:12:01,404 --> 01:12:02,639
He's not here.
1320
01:12:02,706 --> 01:12:04,273
Don't kid me.
1321
01:12:04,340 --> 01:12:06,342
You women are all alike.
1322
01:12:06,409 --> 01:12:08,277
Stick up for him.
1323
01:12:08,344 --> 01:12:11,347
What's he got, anyway?
And where is he?
1324
01:12:11,414 --> 01:12:13,149
As a matter of fact,
1325
01:12:13,216 --> 01:12:16,352
he's performing a duty
you have neglected.
1326
01:12:17,587 --> 01:12:18,822
I catch you,
1327
01:12:18,888 --> 01:12:21,758
and you try to wriggle out of it
1328
01:12:21,825 --> 01:12:25,028
by accusing my wife
of unbecoming conduct?
1329
01:12:25,094 --> 01:12:26,195
I'm not--
1330
01:12:26,262 --> 01:12:27,363
Rosemary--
1331
01:12:27,430 --> 01:12:29,032
so there you are!
1332
01:12:30,433 --> 01:12:32,969
You're just as bad
as he is--worse!
1333
01:12:33,036 --> 01:12:37,373
Trying to make me
suspect my wife when it's you
1334
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:39,375
who've been
hanky-pankying around
1335
01:12:39,442 --> 01:12:40,744
with this...
1336
01:12:40,810 --> 01:12:42,679
This bachelor!
1337
01:12:45,448 --> 01:12:47,383
Ha ha ha ha!
1338
01:12:47,450 --> 01:12:48,718
Well, he's drunk.
1339
01:12:48,785 --> 01:12:51,187
He can change the kid's diapers.
1340
01:12:51,254 --> 01:12:54,223
Doubt it. He's headed
in the other direction.
1341
01:12:54,290 --> 01:12:55,391
Help me.
1342
01:12:55,458 --> 01:12:57,560
I know nothing about this stuff.
1343
01:12:57,627 --> 01:12:59,395
You think I do?
1344
01:12:59,462 --> 01:13:00,697
You're a woman.
1345
01:13:00,764 --> 01:13:02,699
Gender's no license
for knowledge.
1346
01:13:02,766 --> 01:13:05,401
After your remarks
on that tape--
1347
01:13:05,468 --> 01:13:06,870
we'll discuss that later.
1348
01:13:06,936 --> 01:13:08,672
There's a waterlogged kid
1349
01:13:08,738 --> 01:13:11,074
going down for the third time.
1350
01:13:11,140 --> 01:13:12,341
Help me.
1351
01:13:17,947 --> 01:13:21,584
Does the board of health
know about this place?
1352
01:13:21,651 --> 01:13:22,886
What are you doing?
1353
01:13:22,952 --> 01:13:25,088
Fixing a sammich for Dougie.
1354
01:13:25,154 --> 01:13:26,589
Where is he?
1355
01:13:26,656 --> 01:13:28,024
Under the table.
1356
01:13:28,091 --> 01:13:29,358
Hey!
1357
01:13:29,425 --> 01:13:31,861
Hey, come on out of there.
1358
01:13:31,928 --> 01:13:34,063
What happened to your diaper?
1359
01:13:34,130 --> 01:13:35,364
They slitched off.
1360
01:13:35,431 --> 01:13:37,366
Here, let me take him.
1361
01:13:37,433 --> 01:13:39,168
Oh...Boy.
1362
01:13:39,235 --> 01:13:43,139
With this kid,
Linda doesn't need
a garbage grinder.
1363
01:13:47,143 --> 01:13:48,177
Here we are.
1364
01:13:48,244 --> 01:13:51,380
There. You go get
some dry diapers.
1365
01:13:51,447 --> 01:13:53,382
Shouldn't you powder him first?
1366
01:13:53,449 --> 01:13:55,184
No. You oil them first.
1367
01:13:55,251 --> 01:13:58,054
This kid hasn't done
a thousand miles yet.
1368
01:13:58,121 --> 01:14:01,190
You do it,
and I'll get
the diapers.
1369
01:14:01,257 --> 01:14:04,327
And I'll put Stevie
in the other bedroom.
1370
01:14:11,167 --> 01:14:12,401
Isn't that good?
1371
01:14:12,468 --> 01:14:14,037
Is that refreshing?
1372
01:14:17,807 --> 01:14:19,408
Here you are.
1373
01:14:19,475 --> 01:14:21,044
Ahh!
1374
01:14:24,480 --> 01:14:26,716
You're the sweetest smelling.
1375
01:14:34,724 --> 01:14:36,559
That's all right, baby.
1376
01:14:36,625 --> 01:14:39,328
If she wants to dye her hair,
1377
01:14:39,395 --> 01:14:41,130
what's the big deal, anyway?
1378
01:14:41,197 --> 01:14:43,967
What do you say we go tell her,
1379
01:14:44,033 --> 01:14:45,668
old uncle John, O.K.?
1380
01:14:48,204 --> 01:14:49,238
Not enough oil.
1381
01:14:49,305 --> 01:14:51,941
I couldn't find
the diapers, but--
1382
01:14:52,008 --> 01:14:53,943
what are you doing?
1383
01:14:54,010 --> 01:14:56,946
Well...Let's face it.
I'm a lousy mother.
1384
01:14:57,013 --> 01:14:59,148
Oh, go get another towel.
1385
01:14:59,215 --> 01:15:01,217
I'll clean him up.
1386
01:15:01,284 --> 01:15:02,451
Oh, Dougie.
1387
01:15:02,518 --> 01:15:04,220
Ooh!
1388
01:15:04,287 --> 01:15:05,321
Yeah, wait.
1389
01:15:05,388 --> 01:15:09,092
Come on.
Let's sit you up.
Let's sit up.
1390
01:15:15,865 --> 01:15:17,767
How about this one?
1391
01:15:17,834 --> 01:15:19,635
Give me one for here.
1392
01:15:19,702 --> 01:15:20,937
Yeah.
1393
01:15:21,004 --> 01:15:23,940
Well, I think that should do it.
1394
01:15:24,007 --> 01:15:25,942
Well, come on.
There, huh?
1395
01:15:26,009 --> 01:15:28,344
He'll never get out of that
1396
01:15:28,411 --> 01:15:31,480
unless he has friends
on the outside.
1397
01:15:37,553 --> 01:15:39,255
Mrs. Delavane!
1398
01:15:42,258 --> 01:15:43,326
Mrs. Delavane!
1399
01:15:43,392 --> 01:15:44,493
Aha!
1400
01:15:44,560 --> 01:15:45,661
Aha what?
1401
01:15:45,728 --> 01:15:47,831
You are in my house.
1402
01:15:47,897 --> 01:15:49,833
Miss Howard wasn't lying
1403
01:15:49,899 --> 01:15:51,835
about you and Linda.
1404
01:15:51,901 --> 01:15:53,336
Oh, stop it.
1405
01:15:53,402 --> 01:15:54,838
Put 'em up.
1406
01:15:54,904 --> 01:15:58,074
I couldn't go
two rounds
with your breath.
1407
01:16:00,076 --> 01:16:02,278
I won the first fall.
1408
01:16:02,345 --> 01:16:03,813
Quiet, you two.
1409
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:07,383
Oh! My wife isn't good
enough for you, huh?
1410
01:16:07,450 --> 01:16:10,453
You got to have
another woman, too.
1411
01:16:12,021 --> 01:16:14,958
Well, there's
another one
to put to bed.
1412
01:16:15,024 --> 01:16:17,360
Yeah, but he's already oiled.
1413
01:16:19,162 --> 01:16:21,397
"Causing unrest and disharmony,
1414
01:16:21,464 --> 01:16:24,267
"apart from entertaining
married and unmarried women
1415
01:16:24,333 --> 01:16:26,970
"in flagrant violation
of all standards
1416
01:16:27,036 --> 01:16:28,972
"of decency and morality.
1417
01:16:29,038 --> 01:16:30,974
"The undersigned
therefore demand
1418
01:16:31,040 --> 01:16:32,976
"that paradise village,
incorporated,
1419
01:16:33,042 --> 01:16:35,979
remove the above-named
undesirable tenant immediately."
1420
01:16:36,045 --> 01:16:39,482
And it's signed
by every husband
on Katherina street.
1421
01:16:39,548 --> 01:16:41,985
But not one of their wives.
1422
01:16:42,051 --> 01:16:45,488
Don't tell me
he's gotten to you,
too, Rosemary.
1423
01:16:45,554 --> 01:16:47,090
You don't believe that rot!
1424
01:16:47,156 --> 01:16:49,025
These gentlemen believe it.
1425
01:16:49,092 --> 01:16:51,227
Aristotle said
the high-minded man
1426
01:16:51,294 --> 01:16:53,062
is interested in the truth,
1427
01:16:53,129 --> 01:16:54,297
not in what people believe.
1428
01:16:54,363 --> 01:16:56,299
Aristotle doesn't live
in paradise,
1429
01:16:56,365 --> 01:17:00,503
and I won't antagonize
the people who do.
1430
01:17:00,569 --> 01:17:05,341
Rosemary, I want Jack Adams
out of your house.
1431
01:17:05,408 --> 01:17:06,442
No, Tom.
1432
01:17:06,509 --> 01:17:07,643
I won't put him out,
1433
01:17:07,710 --> 01:17:08,878
not for you or anybody.
1434
01:17:08,945 --> 01:17:11,480
Are you disobeying me?
1435
01:17:11,547 --> 01:17:14,083
This is not
the marine corps,
major Jynson.
1436
01:17:14,150 --> 01:17:18,387
No. This is paradise,
and I'm in command.
1437
01:17:18,454 --> 01:17:21,557
You will do what I say,
or you're through--
1438
01:17:21,624 --> 01:17:22,992
fired.
1439
01:17:23,059 --> 01:17:24,627
I'm sorry, Tom.
1440
01:17:26,395 --> 01:17:28,097
Truly sorry!
1441
01:17:38,942 --> 01:17:40,376
Well, come in.
1442
01:17:40,443 --> 01:17:42,178
You're a little early.
1443
01:17:42,245 --> 01:17:45,081
How would you like
a full-time secretary?
1444
01:17:45,148 --> 01:17:48,017
What red-blooded
American boy wouldn't?
What happened?
1445
01:17:48,084 --> 01:17:50,019
I'm no longer an employee
1446
01:17:50,086 --> 01:17:51,887
of paradise village, inc.
1447
01:17:51,955 --> 01:17:53,289
You quit?
1448
01:17:53,356 --> 01:17:56,692
I won't work
for any man
after he fires me.
1449
01:17:56,759 --> 01:18:00,029
I admire your spirit,
among other things.
What happened?
1450
01:18:00,096 --> 01:18:03,032
A matter
of business policy.
We didn't agree.
1451
01:18:03,099 --> 01:18:04,968
We don't always agree, either,
1452
01:18:05,034 --> 01:18:07,937
but I need you
to help with research.
1453
01:18:08,004 --> 01:18:09,705
What kind of research?
1454
01:18:09,772 --> 01:18:13,042
Don't worry.
I'll push your desk
against the wall.
1455
01:18:13,109 --> 01:18:16,379
I couldn't chase you
around it if I wanted.
1456
01:18:16,445 --> 01:18:19,915
Just don't ask me
to stay after
working hours.
1457
01:18:19,983 --> 01:18:21,017
Agreed?
1458
01:18:21,084 --> 01:18:22,751
Agreed, under protest.
1459
01:18:22,818 --> 01:18:24,053
Let me see.
1460
01:18:24,120 --> 01:18:26,655
You'll be my landlady
and secretary.
1461
01:18:26,722 --> 01:18:28,891
I'll be your tenant and boss.
1462
01:18:28,958 --> 01:18:30,559
A very involved relationship.
1463
01:18:30,626 --> 01:18:33,896
If you raise my rent,
I'll lower your salary.
1464
01:18:33,963 --> 01:18:36,632
You lower my salary,
I'll raise my voice.
1465
01:18:36,699 --> 01:18:40,469
...Comes to the plate
with a curve ball.
1466
01:18:40,536 --> 01:18:42,005
Strike. 0 and 1.
1467
01:18:42,071 --> 01:18:43,306
Ripley checking his signs.
1468
01:18:43,372 --> 01:18:45,708
The big right-hander
ready again.
1469
01:18:45,774 --> 01:18:47,043
To the plate.
1470
01:18:47,110 --> 01:18:49,078
Palufski swings,
gets ahold of it.
1471
01:18:49,145 --> 01:18:51,747
Long drive to deep left-center.
1472
01:18:51,814 --> 01:18:54,083
Back goes smitty, a-way back,
1473
01:18:54,150 --> 01:18:55,651
and she is gone.
1474
01:18:55,718 --> 01:18:59,188
It's a brand-new ball game--
3 and 3.
1475
01:18:59,255 --> 01:19:02,191
Before the biggest crowd
of the year--
1476
01:19:02,258 --> 01:19:04,260
75,000 here at the stadium--
1477
01:19:04,327 --> 01:19:07,763
the bears have come back
in the seventh to tie.
1478
01:19:07,830 --> 01:19:11,734
For palufski, his 17th
home run of the year
1479
01:19:11,800 --> 01:19:13,269
and his 51st rbi.
1480
01:19:13,336 --> 01:19:16,039
Now let's find out
if Dillon's coming up.
1481
01:19:16,105 --> 01:19:17,740
Jerry, is that Dillon?
1482
01:19:17,806 --> 01:19:19,275
No. That's Monty Brice.
1483
01:19:19,342 --> 01:19:22,345
Monty Brice
is hitting .287
this season.
1484
01:19:22,411 --> 01:19:26,849
Never mind
Monty Brice.
Take a note.
1485
01:19:26,915 --> 01:19:28,251
"Americans are so accustomed
1486
01:19:28,317 --> 01:19:29,485
"to being told everything,
1487
01:19:29,552 --> 01:19:31,287
"even at ball games,
1488
01:19:31,354 --> 01:19:32,888
"they bring their radios
1489
01:19:32,955 --> 01:19:34,557
"so the announcer can explain
1490
01:19:34,623 --> 01:19:36,859
what they're seeing."
1491
01:19:36,925 --> 01:19:39,228
And the fast ball fouled away.
1492
01:19:39,295 --> 01:19:42,298
Our guess would be
about 75,000 people here.
1493
01:19:42,365 --> 01:19:44,800
I wonder what idiot caught that.
1494
01:19:44,867 --> 01:19:48,171
They would have torn
the roof off for sure
1495
01:19:48,237 --> 01:19:51,340
on the home run by palufski.
1496
01:20:16,765 --> 01:20:20,336
They say 20 million
American women have
taken this up.
1497
01:20:20,403 --> 01:20:23,472
Sure. To get rid
of their aggressions.
1498
01:20:28,177 --> 01:20:29,812
Yeah.
1499
01:20:29,878 --> 01:20:31,414
Oh, yes.
1500
01:20:34,117 --> 01:20:36,051
You know, those aren't pins.
1501
01:20:36,119 --> 01:20:38,654
Those are 20 million
American men.
1502
01:20:48,131 --> 01:20:50,065
The cleaners returned your suit.
1503
01:20:50,133 --> 01:20:52,368
I hung it in the closet.
1504
01:20:52,435 --> 01:20:56,071
And I brought your shirts.
They're in the drawer.
1505
01:20:56,139 --> 01:20:58,874
You don't have to do my shirts.
1506
01:20:58,941 --> 01:21:00,843
The laundry
puts a razor edge
on the collars.
1507
01:21:00,909 --> 01:21:05,013
I don't want my boss
decapitated.
1508
01:21:07,950 --> 01:21:11,587
Hey, you worried
about your boss
or your tenant?
1509
01:21:11,654 --> 01:21:12,921
Jack, please.
1510
01:21:12,988 --> 01:21:16,392
It's time you acknowledge
men and women are different.
1511
01:21:16,459 --> 01:21:18,394
This arrangement
is difficult enough.
1512
01:21:18,461 --> 01:21:20,396
Don't make it impossible.
1513
01:21:20,463 --> 01:21:23,399
I want to make it very possible.
1514
01:21:23,466 --> 01:21:26,402
A little cooperation,
and it could be fun.
1515
01:21:26,469 --> 01:21:29,605
No woman really
wants to make love
platonically,
1516
01:21:29,672 --> 01:21:31,106
just for fun.
1517
01:21:31,174 --> 01:21:33,409
Then I've met
some great pretenders.
1518
01:21:33,476 --> 01:21:36,245
I'm sure many women
have fallen for you.
1519
01:21:36,312 --> 01:21:37,946
If they have,
1520
01:21:38,013 --> 01:21:39,948
they wanted
something more
than...
1521
01:21:40,015 --> 01:21:41,617
Well, merely an affair.
1522
01:21:41,684 --> 01:21:43,152
For instance?
1523
01:21:43,219 --> 01:21:45,854
Oh, a home, security,
1524
01:21:45,921 --> 01:21:47,122
permanence.
1525
01:21:47,190 --> 01:21:49,124
A wise man once wrote
1526
01:21:49,192 --> 01:21:51,294
that a man wants to be
a woman's first love,
1527
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:53,729
but women have
a more subtle instinct.
1528
01:21:53,796 --> 01:21:57,633
They want to be sure
they're a man's last.
1529
01:21:57,700 --> 01:21:59,268
Let's eat.
1530
01:22:02,037 --> 01:22:03,472
Jack...
1531
01:22:03,539 --> 01:22:04,607
Hmm?
1532
01:22:04,673 --> 01:22:07,610
Have you been
a bachelor
all your life?
1533
01:22:07,676 --> 01:22:10,513
I was engaged
at the age of seven,
1534
01:22:10,579 --> 01:22:13,482
but love's pangs
turned out to be measles.
1535
01:22:15,218 --> 01:22:17,152
Silly. Then there's a chance
1536
01:22:17,220 --> 01:22:19,322
that some poor girl
may marry you?
1537
01:22:19,388 --> 01:22:23,058
A rich girl would have
a better chance.
1538
01:22:23,125 --> 01:22:24,727
Have you ever been in love?
1539
01:22:24,793 --> 01:22:26,895
Never. Have you?
1540
01:22:26,962 --> 01:22:29,865
Once...I thought.
1541
01:22:29,932 --> 01:22:31,867
No.
I take that back.
1542
01:22:31,934 --> 01:22:33,168
I really was.
1543
01:22:33,236 --> 01:22:35,037
What makes you sure?
1544
01:22:35,103 --> 01:22:37,172
What makes you sure
you never were?
1545
01:22:37,240 --> 01:22:38,741
I planned it that way.
1546
01:22:38,807 --> 01:22:44,046
My smart father
prepared me for life
with splendid advice.
1547
01:22:44,112 --> 01:22:45,648
Care to share it?
1548
01:22:45,714 --> 01:22:50,018
"Be careful of what
you put your heart
and money into."
1549
01:22:50,085 --> 01:22:52,020
Your father told you that?
1550
01:22:52,087 --> 01:22:54,390
Right after my mom
told it to him.
1551
01:22:54,457 --> 01:22:56,892
Ha ha ha!
That's funny.
1552
01:23:00,796 --> 01:23:02,030
Hi.
1553
01:23:02,097 --> 01:23:03,165
Oh, hi.
1554
01:23:03,232 --> 01:23:04,333
Where's Rosemary?
1555
01:23:04,400 --> 01:23:06,302
She's gone. It's after 6:00.
1556
01:23:06,369 --> 01:23:10,539
I wanted to talk to you alone.
It's about Larry.
1557
01:23:10,606 --> 01:23:13,208
He hasn't said a word for days.
1558
01:23:13,276 --> 01:23:15,210
You've dyed your hair
back, haven't you?
1559
01:23:15,278 --> 01:23:16,912
But he's still suspicious.
1560
01:23:16,979 --> 01:23:18,414
Of me?
1561
01:23:18,481 --> 01:23:20,283
It's your reputation, Jack.
1562
01:23:20,349 --> 01:23:22,050
Everybody thinks that--
1563
01:23:22,117 --> 01:23:23,752
thinks what?
1564
01:23:23,819 --> 01:23:26,054
That you're having affairs
with all of us--
1565
01:23:26,121 --> 01:23:28,123
me, Camille, Dolores, Rosemary!
1566
01:23:28,190 --> 01:23:31,760
Really? That should
qualify me for
the Olympic team.
1567
01:23:31,827 --> 01:23:33,061
Don't joke about it.
1568
01:23:33,128 --> 01:23:34,630
They've written everything down.
1569
01:23:34,697 --> 01:23:36,599
Good. We'll make
an Italian movie from it.
1570
01:23:36,665 --> 01:23:38,901
They even sent in that petition.
1571
01:23:38,967 --> 01:23:40,002
What petition?
1572
01:23:40,068 --> 01:23:42,305
To Tom Jynson,
to have you evicted,
1573
01:23:42,371 --> 01:23:44,273
only Rosemary wouldn't do it.
1574
01:23:44,340 --> 01:23:45,674
Are you sure?
1575
01:23:45,741 --> 01:23:49,578
Positive. Leland Quinlaw
and my Larry started it.
1576
01:23:49,645 --> 01:23:52,681
All the husbands
signed it, and...
1577
01:23:53,849 --> 01:23:55,083
What's that?
1578
01:23:55,150 --> 01:23:56,785
Something's burning.
1579
01:23:56,852 --> 01:23:58,854
It's the oven.
1580
01:24:05,894 --> 01:24:08,497
My ready-mix cake.
1581
01:24:08,564 --> 01:24:09,765
Ha ha!
1582
01:24:09,832 --> 01:24:12,301
Hope smoky the bear
doesn't hear about this.
1583
01:24:13,302 --> 01:24:14,637
Jack!
1584
01:24:15,771 --> 01:24:16,771
Jack?
1585
01:24:16,805 --> 01:24:19,808
Out here!
1586
01:24:19,875 --> 01:24:21,043
What's so urgent?
1587
01:24:21,109 --> 01:24:24,613
Sit down, Rosemary.
I want to ask you something.
1588
01:24:24,680 --> 01:24:26,315
Why couldn't you ask me
on the phone?
1589
01:24:26,382 --> 01:24:30,753
I want to see your face
when you answer.
1590
01:24:30,819 --> 01:24:33,322
This isn't the first time
you've tried to protect me,
1591
01:24:33,389 --> 01:24:35,023
and I'm touched,
1592
01:24:35,090 --> 01:24:38,627
but you should have told me
about the petition.
1593
01:24:38,694 --> 01:24:40,329
What good would it have done?
1594
01:24:40,396 --> 01:24:43,866
I could have spared everyone
1595
01:24:43,932 --> 01:24:45,901
by moving out.
1596
01:24:45,968 --> 01:24:47,370
Leaving paradise?
1597
01:24:47,436 --> 01:24:50,072
I should think
you'd be glad
to get rid of me.
1598
01:24:50,138 --> 01:24:53,776
No. What about your book?
1599
01:24:53,842 --> 01:24:58,414
I've got enough material
for six books if I want.
1600
01:24:58,481 --> 01:24:59,948
Oh, Jack, please.
1601
01:25:00,015 --> 01:25:03,151
I just don't want
to get hopelessly
involved.
1602
01:25:03,218 --> 01:25:05,354
You're a little late.
You already are.
1603
01:25:05,421 --> 01:25:07,055
So am I.
1604
01:25:07,122 --> 01:25:08,491
Why don't you come with me?
1605
01:25:08,557 --> 01:25:10,292
With you? Where?
1606
01:25:10,359 --> 01:25:13,596
Anywhere. I need you,
and you need me.
1607
01:25:13,662 --> 01:25:15,964
We both lived alone long enough.
1608
01:25:16,031 --> 01:25:17,500
What's the advantage?
1609
01:25:17,566 --> 01:25:19,535
Toothpaste lasts twice as long.
1610
01:25:19,602 --> 01:25:22,371
That's all you can say for it.
1611
01:25:22,438 --> 01:25:24,239
There's just one problem,
1612
01:25:24,306 --> 01:25:26,442
a matter of social convention.
1613
01:25:26,509 --> 01:25:29,111
I can't ask you to marry me.
1614
01:25:29,177 --> 01:25:32,014
We understand each other.
Why complicate things?
1615
01:25:32,080 --> 01:25:33,348
We can't.
1616
01:25:33,416 --> 01:25:36,184
I can't, not this way.
1617
01:25:36,251 --> 01:25:38,286
I found that out
a long time ago.
1618
01:25:38,353 --> 01:25:39,455
This is different, darling.
1619
01:25:39,522 --> 01:25:42,691
We're both being
completely honest.
1620
01:25:42,758 --> 01:25:47,195
Which means
you don't want to
ask me to marry you.
1621
01:25:47,262 --> 01:25:48,897
I haven't the nerve.
1622
01:25:48,964 --> 01:25:50,699
I'd be a real heel.
1623
01:25:50,766 --> 01:25:54,002
You know what
you'd be getting
for a husband?
1624
01:25:54,069 --> 01:25:57,840
A man who's been
a bachelor all his life,
1625
01:25:57,906 --> 01:26:00,743
a gypsy who's never had
a permanent home
1626
01:26:00,809 --> 01:26:04,980
since he was a kid
and the pool room
burned down.
1627
01:26:05,047 --> 01:26:07,349
A man who's not only broke,
1628
01:26:07,416 --> 01:26:09,485
but in hock to the government.
1629
01:26:09,552 --> 01:26:12,354
Is that the man
you want to marry?
1630
01:26:12,421 --> 01:26:16,659
I don't know
if I want
to marry anyone.
1631
01:26:16,725 --> 01:26:20,028
Then it's a stand-off.
1632
01:26:20,095 --> 01:26:22,898
But I do know one thing.
1633
01:26:22,965 --> 01:26:25,000
I know.
1634
01:26:29,037 --> 01:26:30,037
Pardon me.
1635
01:26:30,072 --> 01:26:32,575
I'll kill whoever it is
and be right back.
1636
01:26:40,415 --> 01:26:41,450
Hello.
1637
01:26:41,517 --> 01:26:43,151
Yes, operator. Speaking.
1638
01:26:43,218 --> 01:26:44,820
Wait! Rosemary!
1639
01:26:44,887 --> 01:26:46,121
Don't go!
1640
01:26:46,188 --> 01:26:47,422
I--
1641
01:26:47,490 --> 01:26:50,058
yeah? Who?
1642
01:26:50,125 --> 01:26:51,760
Austin palfrey, dear lad.
1643
01:26:51,827 --> 01:26:55,898
Can you be
at the L.A. airport
by midnight?
1644
01:26:55,964 --> 01:26:58,567
I've wired you a ticket
for the midnight jet.
1645
01:26:58,634 --> 01:27:01,504
You're to be in Washington
first thing tomorrow.
1646
01:27:01,570 --> 01:27:02,771
No, Rosemary.
1647
01:27:02,838 --> 01:27:04,607
I haven't seen Jack
since yesterday.
1648
01:27:04,673 --> 01:27:07,175
I did hear his phone ring.
1649
01:27:07,242 --> 01:27:08,242
Was that you?
1650
01:27:08,276 --> 01:27:10,979
Dougie, spit that out!
1651
01:27:11,046 --> 01:27:12,715
What, Rosemary?
1652
01:27:12,781 --> 01:27:15,651
No. His car's not here, either.
1653
01:27:15,718 --> 01:27:18,086
Look, honey, I've got to run.
1654
01:27:18,153 --> 01:27:20,856
Dougie's eating
a ball-point pen.
1655
01:27:20,923 --> 01:27:22,457
Dougie!
1656
01:27:23,325 --> 01:27:24,560
Jack?
1657
01:27:36,872 --> 01:27:39,542
Darling--
That's you, Rosemary--
1658
01:27:39,608 --> 01:27:41,409
I had to leave.
1659
01:27:41,476 --> 01:27:44,212
Keep this machine
to remember me by.
1660
01:27:44,279 --> 01:27:46,882
I hope you'll be as lonesome
and miserable without me
1661
01:27:46,949 --> 01:27:49,885
as I have been
every evening when you left.
1662
01:27:55,457 --> 01:27:57,092
There you are, Mr. Niles.
1663
01:27:57,159 --> 01:28:00,362
Except for $1,000 or so,
it's all there.
1664
01:28:00,428 --> 01:28:01,428
What's all there?
1665
01:28:01,463 --> 01:28:02,497
Your money, dear lad.
1666
01:28:02,565 --> 01:28:05,267
The cash, stocks, and bonds.
1667
01:28:05,333 --> 01:28:06,735
You found Wappinger?
1668
01:28:06,802 --> 01:28:08,737
Boarding a plane in Mexico City.
1669
01:28:08,804 --> 01:28:11,707
That's great.
Thank you, gentlemen.
1670
01:28:11,774 --> 01:28:14,509
You'll have to sign
a complaint against him,
Mr. Niles.
1671
01:28:14,577 --> 01:28:15,711
I don't think so.
1672
01:28:15,778 --> 01:28:17,913
I'd have to stick around
for his trial,
1673
01:28:17,980 --> 01:28:20,115
and there's something
about courtrooms--
1674
01:28:20,182 --> 01:28:23,586
I suppose you're anxious
to return to France.
1675
01:28:23,652 --> 01:28:25,588
I'm working on something
more domestic.
1676
01:28:25,654 --> 01:28:26,655
Of course--
1677
01:28:26,722 --> 01:28:29,424
how the Americans live!
1678
01:28:29,491 --> 01:28:31,493
Let the newsreel boys in now.
1679
01:28:31,560 --> 01:28:33,228
We'll start
the publicity
rolling
1680
01:28:33,295 --> 01:28:36,732
on Adams' next bestseller.
1681
01:28:36,799 --> 01:28:40,168
I've been back in this country
for some time--in California,
1682
01:28:40,235 --> 01:28:43,806
in a housing development
in the San Fernando valley.
1683
01:28:43,872 --> 01:28:45,741
I've used an assumed name,
1684
01:28:45,808 --> 01:28:48,944
but I've been doing research
for my newest book.
1685
01:28:49,011 --> 01:28:50,655
It's based on modern living
in this country.
1686
01:28:50,679 --> 01:28:53,548
It's called
how the Americans live.
1687
01:28:53,616 --> 01:28:56,051
It's been a fascinating
experience.
1688
01:28:56,118 --> 01:28:58,621
I've been amazed at my findings.
1689
01:28:58,687 --> 01:29:00,989
I've found a strong,
healthy group
1690
01:29:01,056 --> 01:29:03,058
of hard-working men and women
1691
01:29:03,125 --> 01:29:05,227
who not only are
kind and decent,
1692
01:29:05,293 --> 01:29:07,796
but go to extremes
to help each other.
1693
01:30:38,586 --> 01:30:40,055
Aah!
1694
01:30:40,122 --> 01:30:41,223
Rosemary.
1695
01:30:41,289 --> 01:30:43,491
Why didn't you tell me
you were coming back?
1696
01:30:43,558 --> 01:30:46,328
I didn't know I was going to.
1697
01:30:46,394 --> 01:30:48,463
This is awful.
1698
01:30:48,530 --> 01:30:50,365
It's not bad from here.
1699
01:30:50,432 --> 01:30:51,466
You look alluring,
1700
01:30:51,533 --> 01:30:53,301
and I'm proud of you
for one thing.
1701
01:30:53,368 --> 01:30:56,705
You didn't
pull the bedclothes
up around your neck.
1702
01:30:56,772 --> 01:31:01,209
No need to get up.
It's after midnight.
1703
01:31:01,276 --> 01:31:02,577
Oh, now, please.
1704
01:31:02,644 --> 01:31:05,213
You're beautiful
with your hair shook up.
1705
01:31:05,280 --> 01:31:08,450
Don't spoil it.
You're a picture.
1706
01:31:08,516 --> 01:31:12,220
Your face isn't full of grease
like a channel swimmer.
1707
01:31:12,287 --> 01:31:13,889
Let me get up.
1708
01:31:13,956 --> 01:31:16,258
Neither of us planned this.
1709
01:31:16,324 --> 01:31:17,993
It was meant to happen.
1710
01:31:18,060 --> 01:31:19,327
I didn't mean this to happen.
1711
01:31:19,394 --> 01:31:22,931
You're single, female,
and in your right mind.
1712
01:31:22,998 --> 01:31:24,566
If you think I'll allow myself
1713
01:31:24,632 --> 01:31:27,702
to become entangled
with a.J. Niles--
1714
01:31:27,770 --> 01:31:28,971
oh, so that's it.
1715
01:31:29,037 --> 01:31:31,406
Everyone knows
who you are, Mr. Niles.
1716
01:31:31,473 --> 01:31:34,910
All you-know-what
broke loose today.
1717
01:31:34,977 --> 01:31:37,279
You didn't feel this way
before I left.
1718
01:31:37,345 --> 01:31:39,447
I'm the same man.
1719
01:31:39,514 --> 01:31:41,516
The same deceitful liar.
1720
01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:44,386
I had to lie, but not anymore.
1721
01:31:44,452 --> 01:31:46,989
A shattering thing
happened while I was away.
1722
01:31:47,055 --> 01:31:49,925
For the first time,
I miss someone.
1723
01:31:49,992 --> 01:31:52,060
I had to come back.
1724
01:31:52,127 --> 01:31:55,831
Please leave me alone,
and get out of here!
1725
01:31:55,898 --> 01:31:59,434
At least now you know the truth.
1726
01:31:59,501 --> 01:32:01,469
You can have the bedroom.
1727
01:32:01,536 --> 01:32:02,670
Your rent is still paid.
1728
01:32:02,737 --> 01:32:04,840
I'll sleep on the couch,
1729
01:32:04,907 --> 01:32:07,209
like the men always do
in American movies.
1730
01:32:16,384 --> 01:32:17,820
Ooh!
1731
01:32:17,886 --> 01:32:20,122
Oh, darn him.
1732
01:32:57,759 --> 01:32:58,961
Here.
1733
01:33:42,637 --> 01:33:44,172
Well?
1734
01:33:44,239 --> 01:33:45,107
Well what?
1735
01:33:45,173 --> 01:33:48,743
Aren't you going
to brush your teeth?
1736
01:33:48,810 --> 01:33:50,345
Did you come in
just to remind me?
1737
01:33:50,412 --> 01:33:55,918
No. I came in to tell you
how despicable you are.
1738
01:33:55,984 --> 01:33:57,219
I'm fond of me.
1739
01:33:57,285 --> 01:33:59,021
You're the only one who is,
1740
01:33:59,087 --> 01:34:02,925
but I'm grateful to you
for one thing.
1741
01:34:02,991 --> 01:34:05,093
You brought me back
to my senses.
1742
01:34:05,160 --> 01:34:08,030
When I thought
you had disappeared,
I was desolate.
1743
01:34:08,096 --> 01:34:12,667
I was miserable because
I lost my nerve and ran out.
1744
01:34:12,734 --> 01:34:14,169
Now that you're back,
1745
01:34:14,236 --> 01:34:17,039
I see what a mistake
it would have been.
1746
01:34:17,105 --> 01:34:21,309
I'm not a woman to you.
I'm a Guinea pig.
1747
01:34:21,376 --> 01:34:26,381
That's all every female
in paradise is to you,
a.J. Niles.
1748
01:34:26,448 --> 01:34:27,349
By the same token,
1749
01:34:27,415 --> 01:34:29,217
I owe you a vote of thanks.
1750
01:34:29,284 --> 01:34:32,254
In the euphoria
of recovering my loot
and my identity,
1751
01:34:32,320 --> 01:34:35,257
I considered proposing to you.
1752
01:34:35,323 --> 01:34:37,392
What a stupid blunder--
1753
01:34:37,459 --> 01:34:39,928
at my age,
1754
01:34:39,995 --> 01:34:41,964
give up my freedom.
1755
01:34:42,030 --> 01:34:44,632
Thanks for snapping me
back to reality.
1756
01:34:44,699 --> 01:34:47,802
I'll be out of your life
first thing tomorrow.
1757
01:34:47,869 --> 01:34:48,869
Thank you.
1758
01:34:50,538 --> 01:34:53,108
Who's that?
1759
01:34:53,175 --> 01:34:54,376
Quick.
In the bedroom.
1760
01:34:55,243 --> 01:34:57,279
It's too early for the milk.
1761
01:34:58,346 --> 01:34:59,481
Just a minute.
1762
01:35:05,988 --> 01:35:07,389
May I come in?
1763
01:35:07,455 --> 01:35:08,256
No.
1764
01:35:08,323 --> 01:35:09,557
I heard your car drive up.
1765
01:35:09,624 --> 01:35:14,296
I was so excited, Jack.
Mr. Niles, I mean.
1766
01:35:14,362 --> 01:35:16,764
We knew you were somebody.
1767
01:35:16,831 --> 01:35:19,201
You just had to be.
1768
01:35:19,267 --> 01:35:20,435
No matter what happens,
1769
01:35:20,502 --> 01:35:22,004
we girls will stick up for you.
1770
01:35:22,070 --> 01:35:23,571
May not be enough, Linda.
1771
01:35:24,906 --> 01:35:27,775
What's that?
1772
01:35:27,842 --> 01:35:29,544
If that's Larry, he'll kill me.
1773
01:35:29,611 --> 01:35:30,378
Hide in the bedroom.
1774
01:35:30,445 --> 01:35:33,281
No! Not there.
Second bedroom.
1775
01:35:33,348 --> 01:35:36,584
I knew this house was too small.
1776
01:35:49,097 --> 01:35:50,274
You got to come with me
right away.
1777
01:35:50,298 --> 01:35:51,399
Where?
1778
01:35:51,466 --> 01:35:57,605
To my house,
before Leland
finds out I'm here.
1779
01:35:57,672 --> 01:35:58,712
What are you talking about?
1780
01:35:58,773 --> 01:36:01,543
Ever since Leland found out
you're a.J. Niles,
1781
01:36:01,609 --> 01:36:04,112
he thinks we're having--
1782
01:36:04,179 --> 01:36:06,814
that we're carrying on
some kind of a--
1783
01:36:06,881 --> 01:36:08,950
please! Come clear my name.
1784
01:36:09,017 --> 01:36:10,685
My whole marriage
hangs in the balance.
1785
01:36:10,752 --> 01:36:12,054
Stop this drama!
1786
01:36:14,256 --> 01:36:17,825
It's Leland!
I got to hide!
1787
01:36:17,892 --> 01:36:21,129
Here.
Get right in there.
1788
01:36:21,196 --> 01:36:22,730
Keep breathing.
1789
01:36:30,004 --> 01:36:31,139
Oh, no!
1790
01:36:31,206 --> 01:36:33,007
Adam J. Niles!
1791
01:36:33,075 --> 01:36:34,642
Welcome to grand hotel.
1792
01:36:34,709 --> 01:36:36,644
Why didn't you tell me?
1793
01:36:36,711 --> 01:36:38,146
We could have conducted
1794
01:36:38,213 --> 01:36:39,757
the most marvelous
experiments together!
1795
01:36:39,781 --> 01:36:42,784
Look--put that coat back on!
1796
01:36:42,850 --> 01:36:43,785
Where's your tape recorder?
1797
01:36:43,851 --> 01:36:45,320
Let's get to work.
1798
01:36:45,387 --> 01:36:48,456
I want to be in your book!
1799
01:36:48,523 --> 01:36:51,159
Ah! So Mrs. brown was right!
1800
01:36:51,226 --> 01:36:53,161
Wait a minute, Jynson.
1801
01:36:53,228 --> 01:36:56,164
I won't wait
a second,
you libertine.
1802
01:36:56,231 --> 01:36:58,600
I'll see you
in court--
both of you!
1803
01:37:00,835 --> 01:37:02,537
Ooh...
1804
01:37:29,264 --> 01:37:31,099
Linda! What are you
doing in there?
1805
01:37:31,166 --> 01:37:32,534
I don't know.
1806
01:37:32,600 --> 01:37:34,702
Come here.
You're going to
break your neck.
1807
01:37:49,684 --> 01:37:50,618
Wait a minute!
1808
01:37:50,685 --> 01:37:51,419
Aah!
1809
01:37:51,486 --> 01:37:53,888
Shh! They're all coming.
1810
01:37:53,955 --> 01:37:55,590
Over the wall.
1811
01:37:55,657 --> 01:37:57,024
Oh!
1812
01:37:57,091 --> 01:37:58,626
Can you make it?
Go on.
1813
01:38:18,413 --> 01:38:20,682
State your name, address,
and occupation, please.
1814
01:38:20,748 --> 01:38:23,351
Thomas W. Jynson,
presently residing
1815
01:38:23,418 --> 01:38:25,353
in the palm vista hotel.
1816
01:38:25,420 --> 01:38:27,555
I'm the developer of paradise.
1817
01:38:27,622 --> 01:38:28,756
Paradise?
1818
01:38:28,823 --> 01:38:31,359
As I recall,
the book of Genesis--
1819
01:38:31,426 --> 01:38:33,060
paradise village, your honor.
1820
01:38:33,127 --> 01:38:34,462
It's a real-estate development.
1821
01:38:34,529 --> 01:38:36,931
One of the finest
housing developments
1822
01:38:36,998 --> 01:38:38,533
in the broad
and fertile valley--
1823
01:38:40,302 --> 01:38:42,204
You won't use this courtroom
1824
01:38:42,270 --> 01:38:45,873
for any advertising purposes.
1825
01:38:45,940 --> 01:38:47,475
Continue.
1826
01:38:47,542 --> 01:38:49,577
Now, Mr. Jynson, isn't it true
1827
01:38:49,644 --> 01:38:52,380
that, most regrettably,
you are compelled
1828
01:38:52,447 --> 01:38:55,517
to seek this action
against your wife
1829
01:38:55,583 --> 01:38:57,719
after numerous instances
of infidelity
1830
01:38:57,785 --> 01:38:59,921
with one a.J. Niles--
1831
01:38:59,987 --> 01:39:02,023
a man who is known to be--
1832
01:39:02,089 --> 01:39:03,425
pardon me, your honor--
1833
01:39:03,491 --> 01:39:05,627
a libertine and a seducer?
1834
01:39:05,693 --> 01:39:07,695
Absolutely.
1835
01:39:07,762 --> 01:39:08,596
Objection!
1836
01:39:08,663 --> 01:39:10,365
We intend to produce evidence
1837
01:39:10,432 --> 01:39:13,034
to prove the statement
that Mr. Niles is,
1838
01:39:13,100 --> 01:39:15,036
if you'll pardon the expression,
1839
01:39:15,102 --> 01:39:18,139
a libertine and a seducer.
1840
01:39:20,808 --> 01:39:23,611
Order in the court!
1841
01:39:23,678 --> 01:39:26,348
Yes, I said
I wanted to be
in his book.
1842
01:39:26,414 --> 01:39:29,351
I wanted to be
a whole new chapter.
1843
01:39:29,417 --> 01:39:31,753
I wanted to be
a whole new book--
1844
01:39:31,819 --> 01:39:35,690
how Mrs. Tom cheapskate lives...
1845
01:39:35,757 --> 01:39:36,658
Miserably.
1846
01:39:36,724 --> 01:39:39,060
A.J. Niles filled my wife's head
1847
01:39:39,126 --> 01:39:40,762
with sexy ideas.
1848
01:39:40,828 --> 01:39:42,196
I married that woman
1849
01:39:42,264 --> 01:39:45,400
because I liked her
empty-headed.
1850
01:39:45,467 --> 01:39:47,535
I knew there was
something going on
1851
01:39:47,602 --> 01:39:49,937
when I saw how my wife
wrapped the garbage.
1852
01:39:50,004 --> 01:39:52,106
Nobody wraps garbage like that
1853
01:39:52,173 --> 01:39:54,676
unless there's
hanky-panky going on.
1854
01:39:57,645 --> 01:40:00,882
The poor, dear man
was always trying to help,
1855
01:40:00,948 --> 01:40:04,652
like when Camille wanted
to dye her hair red,
1856
01:40:04,719 --> 01:40:08,856
and Jack--Mr. Niles--
told her that dyed red hair
1857
01:40:08,923 --> 01:40:11,659
looked so phony and...
1858
01:40:14,396 --> 01:40:16,898
Oh! Well...
1859
01:40:16,964 --> 01:40:19,901
Your hair doesn't look
like it's dyed, your honor.
1860
01:40:19,967 --> 01:40:24,706
I mean, men can't always
be right, can they?
1861
01:40:26,808 --> 01:40:29,744
Your home is directly
across the street
1862
01:40:29,811 --> 01:40:32,647
from the house Mr. Niles rented?
1863
01:40:32,714 --> 01:40:33,548
Right smack.
1864
01:40:33,615 --> 01:40:35,750
I've just talked to New York.
1865
01:40:35,817 --> 01:40:40,087
I've had to order
a second printing
of your book.
1866
01:40:40,154 --> 01:40:42,757
From your observations,
Mrs. brown,
1867
01:40:42,824 --> 01:40:46,193
how would you describe
Mr. Niles?
1868
01:40:46,260 --> 01:40:47,829
Sex fiend,
1869
01:40:47,895 --> 01:40:49,731
pure and simple.
1870
01:40:52,834 --> 01:40:54,802
Objection!
1871
01:40:54,869 --> 01:40:56,738
Sustained.
1872
01:40:56,804 --> 01:41:01,343
Mrs. brown, that's a very broad
and condemning term.
1873
01:41:01,409 --> 01:41:04,412
I don't know how else
you'd describe him.
1874
01:41:04,479 --> 01:41:06,948
He has only one thing
on his mind.
1875
01:41:09,551 --> 01:41:12,219
Have you ever read
his books,
madam judge?
1876
01:41:12,286 --> 01:41:13,588
Yes, I have.
1877
01:41:13,655 --> 01:41:16,724
I've also read the books
of h.G. Wells,
1878
01:41:16,791 --> 01:41:19,594
but I wouldn't describe him
as an astronaut.
1879
01:41:19,661 --> 01:41:22,063
Confine your testimony
to factual observations.
1880
01:41:22,129 --> 01:41:24,499
Very well, your honoress.
1881
01:41:24,566 --> 01:41:26,067
Ever since that man
1882
01:41:26,133 --> 01:41:28,736
moved into Rosemary's house...
1883
01:41:28,803 --> 01:41:31,739
Stop trying
to make implications,
Mr. Backett.
1884
01:41:31,806 --> 01:41:34,742
My relationship
with Dolores Jynson
was not experimental.
1885
01:41:34,809 --> 01:41:37,945
Then you did find her
physically attractive?
1886
01:41:38,012 --> 01:41:40,014
Certainly not.
1887
01:41:40,081 --> 01:41:43,451
Did he have to say that?
1888
01:41:43,518 --> 01:41:45,753
That is, I didn't find her
unattractive.
1889
01:41:45,820 --> 01:41:47,254
What I mean is--
1890
01:41:47,321 --> 01:41:50,858
Mr. Niles, when you've finished
debating with yourself,
1891
01:41:50,925 --> 01:41:52,527
will you please
answer the question?
1892
01:41:52,594 --> 01:41:54,996
I'm trying to, your honor.
1893
01:41:55,062 --> 01:41:56,197
I found her attractive,
1894
01:41:56,263 --> 01:41:58,900
but that did not
motivate my actions.
1895
01:42:00,935 --> 01:42:02,169
Now, Mr. Niles,
1896
01:42:02,236 --> 01:42:04,171
you heard Mr. Jynson testify
1897
01:42:04,238 --> 01:42:06,474
that he saw Mrs. Jynson,
1898
01:42:06,541 --> 01:42:09,276
clad only
in a revealing
negligee,
1899
01:42:09,343 --> 01:42:12,046
nestled in your arms.
1900
01:42:12,113 --> 01:42:15,249
Would you explain
your motivation for that?
1901
01:42:15,316 --> 01:42:16,551
You see, your honor,
1902
01:42:16,618 --> 01:42:18,553
it isn't quite that simple.
1903
01:42:18,620 --> 01:42:20,555
There were three other women
1904
01:42:20,622 --> 01:42:22,990
in the house at the same time.
1905
01:42:23,057 --> 01:42:24,158
Three?
1906
01:42:24,225 --> 01:42:25,259
I didn't plan that.
1907
01:42:25,326 --> 01:42:27,729
I don't go in for group therapy.
1908
01:42:27,795 --> 01:42:29,731
It was one of
those hectic nights.
1909
01:42:29,797 --> 01:42:33,000
I can well understand that.
1910
01:42:33,067 --> 01:42:34,301
May I make one statement
1911
01:42:34,368 --> 01:42:36,871
to clarify this situation?
1912
01:42:36,938 --> 01:42:40,608
Clarification would
certainly be in order,
Mr. Niles.
1913
01:42:40,675 --> 01:42:43,678
There seems to be
a public image
of a.J. Niles
1914
01:42:43,745 --> 01:42:46,448
as some sort of
wandering Casanova,
1915
01:42:46,514 --> 01:42:49,417
to whom the world is
a private boudoir.
1916
01:42:49,484 --> 01:42:51,886
In the past, there may have been
some justification for this,
1917
01:42:51,953 --> 01:42:53,988
but since
I established residence
1918
01:42:54,055 --> 01:42:55,055
at paradise village,
1919
01:42:55,089 --> 01:42:56,858
I'm a different man.
1920
01:42:59,060 --> 01:43:02,363
For the first time,
I've been in love--
1921
01:43:02,430 --> 01:43:04,632
sincerely, deeply in love.
1922
01:43:04,699 --> 01:43:05,833
And because of that,
1923
01:43:05,900 --> 01:43:09,203
only one woman has meant
anything to me.
1924
01:43:09,270 --> 01:43:12,707
That woman is Rosemary Howard.
1925
01:43:12,774 --> 01:43:14,041
Because of my feeling for her,
1926
01:43:14,108 --> 01:43:16,177
I couldn't have
possibly indulged
1927
01:43:16,243 --> 01:43:17,612
in the activities
1928
01:43:17,679 --> 01:43:19,481
of which I've been accused.
1929
01:43:19,547 --> 01:43:21,182
I returned from Washington
1930
01:43:21,248 --> 01:43:22,750
to marry miss Howard.
1931
01:43:22,817 --> 01:43:25,152
Unfortunately,
she turned me down,
1932
01:43:25,219 --> 01:43:28,155
but I was truly and still am
1933
01:43:28,222 --> 01:43:29,657
deeply in love,
1934
01:43:29,724 --> 01:43:32,026
and I hope to persuade her
1935
01:43:32,093 --> 01:43:33,303
to change her mind and marry me.
1936
01:43:36,263 --> 01:43:39,200
No further questions.
1937
01:43:39,266 --> 01:43:42,203
Does counsel for the defense
1938
01:43:42,269 --> 01:43:45,372
wish to cross-examine
the witness?
1939
01:43:45,439 --> 01:43:49,310
No questions, your honor.
1940
01:43:49,376 --> 01:43:53,147
You may step down, Mr. Niles.
1941
01:43:53,214 --> 01:43:55,983
Who is your next witness,
Mr. Backett?
1942
01:43:56,050 --> 01:44:00,221
I'd like to call
miss Rosemary Howard
to the stand.
1943
01:44:08,696 --> 01:44:09,907
Do you solemnly swear
to tell the truth,
1944
01:44:09,931 --> 01:44:10,698
the whole truth,
1945
01:44:10,765 --> 01:44:12,333
and nothing but the truth?
1946
01:44:12,399 --> 01:44:16,003
You've ruined everything.
Now you're just another guy.
1947
01:44:16,070 --> 01:44:18,339
And it's about time.
1948
01:44:18,405 --> 01:44:19,841
Now, miss Howard,
1949
01:44:19,907 --> 01:44:21,375
were you formerly associated
1950
01:44:21,442 --> 01:44:23,344
with Mr. Jynson in business?
1951
01:44:23,410 --> 01:44:24,779
I was.
1952
01:44:24,846 --> 01:44:27,982
Did you resign your position?
1953
01:44:28,049 --> 01:44:29,784
No. I was fired.
1954
01:44:29,851 --> 01:44:32,086
Will you tell the court why?
1955
01:44:32,153 --> 01:44:36,290
Because I refused
to evict Mr. Niles
from my house.
1956
01:44:36,357 --> 01:44:38,292
Who demanded that eviction?
1957
01:44:38,359 --> 01:44:40,094
There was a petition signed
1958
01:44:40,161 --> 01:44:43,297
by a number of husbands
in the neighborhood.
1959
01:44:43,364 --> 01:44:46,701
That would be exhibit a,
your honor.
1960
01:44:49,136 --> 01:44:52,006
Is this the document,
miss Howard?
1961
01:44:52,073 --> 01:44:54,008
It appears to be.
1962
01:44:54,075 --> 01:44:55,509
Now, miss Howard,
1963
01:44:55,577 --> 01:44:57,511
that petition makes
several allegations
1964
01:44:57,579 --> 01:45:00,815
as to the conduct
and character of Mr. Niles.
1965
01:45:00,882 --> 01:45:03,618
Would you deny them now,
under oath?
1966
01:45:03,685 --> 01:45:06,621
Well, miss Howard?
1967
01:45:08,389 --> 01:45:11,325
May I make a statement,
your honor?
1968
01:45:11,392 --> 01:45:13,327
In the interest
of clarification?
1969
01:45:13,394 --> 01:45:14,328
Oh, yes.
1970
01:45:14,395 --> 01:45:16,330
By all means.
1971
01:45:16,397 --> 01:45:17,832
These three divorce cases
1972
01:45:17,899 --> 01:45:20,835
are based on a complete
misunderstanding
1973
01:45:20,902 --> 01:45:23,905
of Mr. Niles and his motives
1974
01:45:23,971 --> 01:45:26,440
and the motives of the wives.
1975
01:45:26,507 --> 01:45:27,942
You tell them, Rosemary!
1976
01:45:29,844 --> 01:45:31,345
Order in the court.
1977
01:45:31,412 --> 01:45:32,914
Continue, miss Howard.
1978
01:45:32,980 --> 01:45:37,585
I know this because I worked
very closely with Mr. Niles
1979
01:45:37,652 --> 01:45:39,153
on his notes.
1980
01:45:39,220 --> 01:45:43,090
I heard all the conversation
between the girls and Jack--
1981
01:45:43,157 --> 01:45:44,592
I mean Mr. Niles--
1982
01:45:44,659 --> 01:45:47,028
that night before Tom Jynson
came bursting in.
1983
01:45:47,094 --> 01:45:50,932
A.J. Niles only wanted to help.
1984
01:45:50,998 --> 01:45:54,035
He understood
their frustrations,
1985
01:45:54,101 --> 01:45:56,237
their doubts,
1986
01:45:56,303 --> 01:45:57,739
and their loneliness.
1987
01:45:57,805 --> 01:45:59,340
She's right, your honor!
1988
01:46:01,175 --> 01:46:02,810
Control yourselves!
1989
01:46:02,877 --> 01:46:05,179
This is not a pta meeting.
1990
01:46:06,247 --> 01:46:08,249
Go on, miss Howard.
1991
01:46:08,315 --> 01:46:10,251
A woman left alone,
1992
01:46:10,317 --> 01:46:12,253
even in paradise,
1993
01:46:12,319 --> 01:46:14,756
has to rebuild her pride.
1994
01:46:14,822 --> 01:46:18,159
I know Dolores and Tom
are very much in love
with each other,
1995
01:46:18,225 --> 01:46:21,162
and Mr. Niles
was aware of it, too.
1996
01:46:21,228 --> 01:46:23,865
The others felt
that their husbands
1997
01:46:23,931 --> 01:46:25,867
were losing interest in them.
1998
01:46:25,933 --> 01:46:29,136
But in all this time
in paradise village,
1999
01:46:29,203 --> 01:46:33,841
a.J. Niles only wanted to help,
and this is his reward.
2000
01:46:33,908 --> 01:46:37,211
Miss Howard, Mr. Niles
is not on trial here.
2001
01:46:37,278 --> 01:46:39,180
I know that, your honor,
2002
01:46:39,246 --> 01:46:42,383
but he seems to be
the central character.
2003
01:46:42,449 --> 01:46:44,185
These men are guilty
2004
01:46:44,251 --> 01:46:46,187
of failing to appreciate
their wives.
2005
01:46:46,253 --> 01:46:48,723
What's worse,
you didn't trust them.
2006
01:46:48,790 --> 01:46:52,593
The truth is, they're
lucky to have women
2007
01:46:52,660 --> 01:46:56,397
who care enough to try
and win their affection.
2008
01:46:56,463 --> 01:46:58,532
As to Mr. a.J. Niles,
2009
01:46:58,599 --> 01:47:01,202
I have only one thing to say.
2010
01:47:01,268 --> 01:47:04,772
A few minutes ago,
he stated, under oath,
2011
01:47:04,839 --> 01:47:07,775
that his only objective
was to marry me.
2012
01:47:07,842 --> 01:47:09,210
And I meant it!
2013
01:47:12,947 --> 01:47:16,417
Then I wish to state,
under oath,
2014
01:47:16,483 --> 01:47:18,920
that I have changed my mind,
2015
01:47:18,986 --> 01:47:23,524
and I accept his
proposal of marriage.
2016
01:47:23,590 --> 01:47:26,127
You're hooked.
You're through.
2017
01:47:26,193 --> 01:47:28,062
No more experiments.
2018
01:47:29,496 --> 01:47:31,498
Order in this court!
2019
01:47:31,565 --> 01:47:33,434
Order!
2020
01:47:33,500 --> 01:47:38,072
Order in this courtroom!
Please!
2021
01:48:04,131 --> 01:48:07,068
One of the most
interesting aspects
2022
01:48:07,134 --> 01:48:11,272
of the institution of marriage
is a rather complex rite,
2023
01:48:11,338 --> 01:48:14,842
colloquially referred
to as the honeymoon.
2024
01:48:14,909 --> 01:48:17,411
Historians have traced
this romantic ritual
2025
01:48:17,478 --> 01:48:20,848
back to the days of ancient--
2026
01:48:20,915 --> 01:48:25,152
Ha ha ha!
2027
01:48:25,219 --> 01:48:29,123
Historians have traced this--
2028
01:48:29,190 --> 01:48:30,424
mmm...
2029
01:48:30,491 --> 01:48:32,193
Oh, those historians.
2030
01:48:32,259 --> 01:48:34,495
Ha ha ha!
131257
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