Original subtitles

It wasn't a hallucination.

It happened, Pete. This happened.

I can't just show up there and start asking questions

about a girl that you think went missing.

I checked on your landlord.

He did work at St. Jerome.

But his license was suspended.

Mother to mother.

Parker didn't kill our daughter.

How can you know that?

Because Parker told me.

The most dangerous part of me

isn't even in this prison cell.

Someone worse than me is still out there.

You copied a private recording

of a conversation.

Grandma Moses fostered so many kids,

but she couldn't save that one.

Your secret is safe.

I love you.

Will you take the wolf out, please?

Karen? I'm Pete Guillory.

I'm very glad you agreed to meet me.

I don't feel I had much choice.

The FBI, has been known to be a bit pushy.

So they asked me to come talk to you,

to see if you remember anything else.

You've been here barely two weeks.

I'll bet you every minute feels like an hour, doesn't it?

You don't get to choose what you eat, when you sleep.

One moment all the lights are on, and the next, well,

all you have is total darkness.

As long as you're in here, no choice will ever be yours.

You came to tell me things I already know?

No one likes to think they got it wrong

about someone they trusted, someone they loved.

Loving a bad person doesn't make you a bad person.

Who are you?

I'm a psychiatrist. I work with Witness Protection.

I make psychological assessments.

My job is to determine whether or not

someone like you is, well...

is right for the program.

You think I'm crazy?

No. I do think you have PTSD.

That's why you pull your hair out.

It's also why you don't remember everything that happened

between you and Parker, which is unfortunate,

because if you did and you could help us with other cases,

I'd get you out of here a whole hell of a lot faster than...

than seven years.

I could give you a new life.

I want my old life back.

And I've said everything I remember.

Karen? Louise. I'm next door.

- Hi. - Hey.

You doing okay? Need anything?

Cup of sugar, orientation day?

It's a lot to get used to.

Yeah.

But I was playing, about the cup of sugar.

Right.

You want me to take that to the mail room for you?

- No, I'm not done. - I'll take it.

Is this to him?

Get out.

Beg your pardon?

It's not your business who I'm writing.

I said you should get out.

See, we all got daughters on the outside.

And women like you, helping out men like him...

Well, that makes us sick to our stomachs.

I didn't help him.

Yo, this bitch done so much lying

she's starting to believe it.

We gonna help you remember.

Hello?

It's Karen.

I've changed my mind.

I'm ready to talk.

Something happen out here, miss?

I just... I live alone. I want to feel safe.

At least you got a kitty.

Excuse me a moment. I got to shut you in.

Kit? Kit, they've got cotton candy, clouds of it,

and they're just giving it away.

Why, that is the best news I've heard all day.

How about you go and get the biggest cloud

you can carry and bring it back to me?

No, I'll wait. I'll wait till you're finished.

We can go together.

I'm gonna be a while here.

Go get me some cotton candy, baby.

Hurry up.

God.

Jake?

You okay?

Have you seen all this? Are you on this thread?

Don't look at it. Just... leave it.

And do nothing?

No, I got to call her.

I got to tell her that I'm sorry.

I was so careful with that upload.

I did not put on the marriage part,

just that one moment.

It was her moment.

You stole a recording

that was so private and so personal,

and you shared it with everyone.

I don't think you can apologize for this.

I never meant to hurt or damage them.

I just... I just wanted to make it count.

It doesn't matter, Mom, your reasons, your validation.

No, I got to go see Kamala. I can't leave it.

It's like you won't hear me. Mom.

Take a break...

from all of it,

but especially from Karen Miller.

Mom, you got to stop now.

Please.

Are you cold?

There's such a chill in here.

You know I love the cold.

Karen said she loved the cold, but it was because she thought

I couldn't afford to buy her that warm coat.

She always worried so much.

That's right.

She was cold, but she never said.

Has she called?

I don't want to miss the chance to talk to her next time.

Does she still have her stone...

for the lake?

When it gets to be too much

and she needs to throw those sins away,

she'll need to put them in her stone.

I hope so.

"Don't forget your stone."

How many times do I tell her?

And that's Elsinor Lake?

Do you need a stone, Roger?

They're looking for her.

Then we'd better find her first.

I told you I wasn't gonna make no speech

to tell you how much I love you

'cause don't nobody need that kind of sentimentality.

But y'all just wouldn't let it lie.

-You know, I chose

to go this alone, just me and my baby.

But it never felt like alone 'cause y'all never left me,

-not for one minute -Sorry.

Of this whole journey.

That's right.

These your people, too.

And they love you.

And I love you.

This is your family.

All right, anybody want to volunteer to give birth for me?

'Cause I want to outsource that part.

You have quite an aura about you.

Excuse me?

I sense other lives.

You've been many others before you.

And there may perhaps be many more lives to come.

I lived in Seattle. My name's Emma.

I don't know...

I don't know what else to tell you. Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

You are gonna be great at being a mom.

Thank you.

Maybe it's not your aura.

Maybe it's the aura of others that I sense.

What?

Excuse me.

My God.

Shit. Shit.

This is my work. I'm trying to build a life here.

Why'd you change the locks?

I want my key. My key. I am not in prison anymore.

Hi. Get in the truck.

I'm not getting in the truck.

Is this about the girl?

Do you need me to keep going, keep looking for her?

Is that what you need? Tell me, 'cause I'll do it.

- Is that it? - You were fired

from St. Jerome House.

You've got sealed records.

So I don't think it's a great idea

for you to go looking for a girl from St. Jerome.

That was you? You ran a background check on me?

My God. Wait, how'd you do it?

Wait, I know how you did it. Your new boyfriend.

I don't have a boyfriend.

Sleeping with a cop isn't exactly laying low.

What do you want from me?

You want to be with me?

You want to be my boyfriend?

- Yeah. - You jealous?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm jealous, yeah.

Is that why you need a key, so you can come check up on me?

When all the time, it's you.

You who's been lying to me.

I worked there when I was 20.

Check my background.

Check whatever you want. You're not gonna find anything.

Why are they sealed?

Emma, I'm a psychiatrist.

I work with the federal government.

I have been vetted through and through.

If there was anything shady about my background,

I wouldn't be able to do this job.

Now, if you don't trust me, all right,

and you want to play Nancy Drew

and you want to go digging around, fine.

But get ready to start from scratch...

new identity, new town, new everything.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Why not same identity, new you?

Because it's my cabin.

What?

Don't you remember you asking me

for a place where you could find peace?

A place where you could breathe?

But a place that's my own.

I'm just a guy that's protecting you.

Now, if you don't want me in your life anymore, say the word.

I'll arrange a transfer.

You keep that shirt.

It looks way better on you than it ever did on me.

Hey, Jake, honey. It's Mom.

Um, listen, you were...

you were... you were right.

I kind of lost hold of myself back there.

So, um, thank you for, um,

loving me, letting me know.

So, I think I'm gonna take off

for a few days to a spa.

You know, unplug.

Get some headspace.

Let this whole thing burn out.

I won't be in contact.

Okay?

So, I love you.

I'll see you in a few days.

Just keep it covered. You get any discomfort, call me.

You went for pink.

Nice choice.

Did you get what you need?

Yes, it's an ultra-plush wearable warming blanket.

They had it in her color, which I'm picking up, is mauve.

It's so chilly in her room.

Great. So we go there now?

Well... I'm not so sure about "we."

I have a very detailed way of working.

The devil is, of course, in all those details.

John, I just need an address.

You can get that for me, can't you?

I can do exactly that,

but I need to do my important work alone.

Okay.

Look, I don't want to be that asshole boss who micromanages.

- I'm so pleased. - But I'm going with you.

I just need to get in and get out.

From Saint Cloud Assisted Living?

From Minnesota.

Um...

You've taken me a little bit off-balance here.

I called to say that I was making good progress.

I didn't expect you to just show up like this.

I had a window.

I don't even have a pseudonym for you.

A cover name.

Try this... cousin Helen from Tampa.

No one questions anyone from Florida, right?

The construct of Helen is very close to Esther,

with the E's on either side of the consonants.

Why not, say, Linda?

Fine. Linda.

Well, then a gift would be a nice gesture.

A new nightgown?

Hers are threadbare and food-stained.

Hate these institutions.

There's no care anymore.

Go pick something out. Put it on your Amex.

I need to find out what he did. My landlord.

How do I get those records unsealed?

You need a court order.

- Okay, how do I get that? - You don't.

Now, if it was me, I'd just quit my lease and move.

No, I can't. I can't break my lease, so...

You can if you don't feel safe.

That's what I can't figure out, like, why you stayin'.

Then I start to wonder

how you, in Seattle, come across a psychiatrist

in north Louisiana

and rent out his cabin in Saint James.

I met a lot of people through my work.

You can talk to me...

Emma.

About anything.

You can trust me.

Something is going on with you,

and I don't know what it is,

but I know that it's keeping you alone.

I like to be alone.

- No one wants to be alone. - Yeah, I do.

- I don't believe you. - I'm better this way.

I don't believe you.

You should let me know if you like me.

And how would I do that?

Hey, what's the... what's the rush?

Isn't this what you wanted?

I just don't want to feel like I'm in a fight is all.

Well, then don't fight!

Emma.

Hold... Emma. Emma.

- Enjoy your books. - Emma, hold on!

I was just saying, like, let's just take it slow is...

Brought an old friend to pay a visit.

No, there's a wolf. There's a wolf!

Please, Miss Esther, there's no wolf.

Come on now.

Out there in the snow.

"In the snow"?

Is there something you forgot to tell me?

Esther does have signs of dementia.

Signs?

Yes, but also moments of great clarity,

which we're having with more regularity.

I think I'm able to center her, and I have every confidence

that I will get that address.

Hey, Denise. I've got this now.

Denise. Let me.

Hey, you. How's my girl?

It's okay. It's all right.

I'm here.

I don't know you.

Yes, you do, sweetie. It's me.

I don't know you.

Do you remember me?

Cousin Hel... Linda? From Florida?

Get them out. Get them away from me.

I don't want to see the girls from school.

We won't get her back today.

Love you.

Wolf.

Don't call me that.

One, two, three, four, five, six.

Two, two, three, four, five, six.

Three, two, three, four, five six.

Four, two, three, four, five, six.

Stand up straight.

Good. Very nice.

One, two, three, four, five...

It's a sliding step, a sliding step.

You should feel like water,

like currents in the river.

Very nice. You're doing beautifully.

You want to get out of here?

Like you wouldn't believe.

One, two, three, four...

So these are the things Jess left?

Did you ever know that man?

His name's Pete.

He used to work here a long time ago.

He has a beard now.

I...

What's that light on? Who's in that room?

What are you doing in here, young man?

You should be at the dance.

I just need to find my shoes.

What's your mom on?

Who even dances like that anymore?

She thinks it's 1929

and Wall Street hasn't crashed yet.

I just want some time alone with you.

I wake up at night and I'm so hard.

I'm sorry, I can't do this.

What?

Do you want to get high?

This was just on the off chance.

There's a work conversation I need to have with my boss.

I'm based in Florida.

You fellas sure know how to throw a cold snap.

Of course, my work brings me all over the country.

You got blood on your chin, sir.

John.

Hi. I just thought, we're both in Minnesota,

we should have dinner together.

Unless you prefer to dine alone?

I didn't give you my hotel details.

I'd be pretty poor at my job if you needed to.

What you'll have to understand, Mary,

is dementia is not a specific illness,

a disease... It's an umbrella term.

It describes a collection of symptoms,

all related to the decline in memory, thinking skills.

I know about dementia. My mother had it.

My goodness, I'm so sorry.

Don't be. Really. She's passed.

Then we are both of us unmothered.

Did you lose your mother?

I did, when I was nine.

Any other family?

Yeah, a sister. Jane.

Jane?

Jane and John? That's...

The names of unidentified corpses.

- Thanks, Mom. - Okay.

I need to, get my rest,

so I guess we'll, start again tomorrow.

I need you to let me do my work.

This afternoon was very unusual.

Um...

You have a certain energy, which is understandable,

but it brings a tension.

I have an energy?

I think you hide a lot of rage.

Don't analyze me.

I have a theory of my own, of dementia sufferers.

I think they become very instinctive.

As their conscious processes dwindle,

their subconscious becomes heightened.

And I think Esther that felt your rage.

Do you want to know about my rage?

It's dark, and it's growing inside of me.

It's like a big, black lump of burning tar.

It started in my chest, and now it's in my gut.

And I hope it never comes out, John.

I hope I can keep it inside.

Have you considered meditation?

Good night.

I meditate.

It helps me cleanse after this work.

You have no idea of the toll on the emotions.

I have a connection with her, with Esther,

by being what she needs me to be.

And what's that?

Her husband. Roger. A remarkable man.

He's an engineer and a political activist,

love of her life.

Heart attack at 50.

They never had the time together they deserved.

Why does she think that you're her husband?

I've encouraged a chemistry.

And cousin Linda from Florida is kind of in the way.

We don't need three people in this marriage, Mary.

I don't want you there tomorrow.

See that star?

What?

That star... that one up there.

Are you crazy?

There's like a billion up there.

I think I see it now.

What were you doing there tonight at St. Jerome?

Did something happen?

Why do you hate it here?

I don't fit in.

Aren't you the... carnival queen?

Every night my mom locks me in my bedroom

to keep me safe from the world.

And every day she gets me ready

for a stage that everybody in town can watch me on.

What's she afraid of, your mom?

Dangerous men.

Something very bad happened here.

What?

You need to go home, Rose.

What are you talking about? What's happened?

She's right. Your mom.

It isn't safe here. It isn't a good place.

I don't want to go home. I hate it there.

I hate it in this town. I want to stay with you.

Go home.

Go home, Rose!

It's okay, Esther.

I'm your friend.

Linda?

I haven't been a very good friend.

So I wanted to come to you tonight,

mother to mother, to tell you that I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry I brought him into your life.

Who?

The man who's been coming to see you.

The man who's been coming is a very, very bad man.

None of us is all bad, Linda.

Mary. I'm Mary.

They wanted her to rot.

But I know she's growing.

I know she's flourishing.

She is?

Well, that's good.

Where is she flourishing?

That's my little girl's kitten.

-I recognized it.

Not even the worst of us is all bad.

There's no monsters,

just frightened children.

Get out of my house.

She'll never come.

She's too clever.

What?

You think I don't know wolves?

You sent your wolf.

But I survived him.

And she'll survive you.

Because you'd hurt her if you could.

What are you talking about? I wouldn't hurt anyone.

I came here to make sure you were okay.

You'll never find her.

They keep her safe because of people like you.

Get out of my house.

She is a monster.

She's part of him,

the man who broke nine women's skulls with a hammer.

Get out of my house!

Smashed them so they were unrecognizable

except through DNA.

She did exactly what he told her to do,

and they took my daughter.

I'm going to ring my bell

and ask them to take you out of my room.

No, no, no, no, no.

Get out. Get out!

Get out! Get out! Get out!

You're gonna hear the truth about this monster

that you're protecting.

I know she phones you.

I know you know where she is.

So I will sit and wait

until you draw your last breath,

if that's as long as it takes.

Then you'd better get comfortable,

because that's what it'll take.

And that's the only time my Karen's ever coming home,

is to kiss my coffin.

I can't even ask for a glass of water,

seeing as you've taken my bell.

Do you have it in you to pour me a glass?

It's okay that you love her.

Even I can understand that.

It's not okay that you hide her.

If she is innocent, then she has nothing to be afraid of.

Why is she afraid? Why is she hiding?

Esther, get back into bed now. Come on.

You get away from me.

They'll call the police. I know they will.

They have very strict rules on who can come see us.

Back into bed.

I just want to know

- where she is. - No.

If you tell me that,

- then I will go. - No.

-Okay.

Don't do that. Don't do that, please.

-Just stop. Stop.

Stop. Just stop it. Don't make that noise.

Just... pl... You have to stop.

You have to stop making that noise.

Please, stop it.

Stop it.

Do you recognize any of these girls?

Karen, anything you can give us will help you.

Anything at all.

I'm here to help you.

I'm here to be a friend to you.

Her.

I think I remember her.

I think I saw her with Kit, in his van.

We were in North Carolina at a music festival.

It was...

May, two years ago.

This is good.

I'm gonna look after you.

Gonna stay close, watch over you.

I'm gonna be in your new life.

Hey, it's me.

I want to hear your voice again. Call me.

It's me.

I don't know what happened back there,

but can you call me?

Do you still have a file on me?

What?

You were my patient once.

Yeah, of course I have a file on you.

I want to see it.

Why?

Because I want to know how you saw me before you loved me.

Well, maybe...

just maybe...

I've always loved you.

Hello, I'm calling for, for Esther Moses.

I'm sorry. Esther passed away last night.

No.

Is this Karen?

My dad won't even notice it's gone.

Yeah, well, he's gonna notice that you're gone.

Then you'd better drive fast.

Did you bring any money?

We can't disappear for free.

I got 400.

It's not enough.

I have my debit. We can get more.

No, we can't.

We can't use cards once we're on the move.

I know where my dad keeps his stash in the office.

You don't have to do this.

You don't have to come with me.

Give me five minutes.

Five minutes, okay?

I'll be right back!

Tell me a story.