Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
2
00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:03,467
Of all the places you go...
3
00:00:04,804 --> 00:00:06,772
...the dry cleaning relationship's
the most bizarre.
4
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:09,033
You keep giving each other
the same thing...
5
00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:11,268
...back and forth over and over again.
6
00:00:11,444 --> 00:00:14,470
He gives it to you, you give it to him,
he gives it back to you.
7
00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:16,740
lt's like it's half his shirt, in a way.
8
00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:18,406
He has it as much as you do.
9
00:00:18,585 --> 00:00:21,577
You ought to go shopping with him.
''What do you think of this shirt?''
10
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,189
''That would look good
with a light starch.''
11
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:28,889
The only warning label people
respect is ''dry-clean only.''
12
00:00:29,062 --> 00:00:31,553
Speed limits, lung cancer,
cigarette warnings...
13
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:34,791
...your very life is at stake.
People go, ''Ah, the hell with it.''
14
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:37,334
But dry-clean only?
''Don't put that in the wash.
15
00:00:37,504 --> 00:00:39,665
lt's dry-clean only. Are you crazy?''
16
00:00:45,245 --> 00:00:46,712
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
17
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,872
-How did you sleep?
-You're on the couch tonight.
18
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,575
-You were all over my side.
-l was not.
19
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,720
l was sleeping
with one cheek off the bed.
20
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:59,048
By the way, you're falling way behind
on the ''l love you's.''
21
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,092
-No, no, 1 2-8.
-No, it's 1 5-8.
22
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:05,255
l know l can't beat you.
l'm trying to stay competitive.
23
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:08,060
-Let's get some breakfast.
-Let me get a coat.
24
00:01:08,334 --> 00:01:10,768
l think l'll try a sports jacket
and scarf thing.
25
00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:13,167
You know,
like an unemployed actor.
26
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,710
l haven't worn this one
in a long time.
27
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,813
-Cashmere?
-No, Gore-Tex.
28
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,714
lt's new.
29
00:01:23,883 --> 00:01:26,283
Look at this locket.
What the hell's this?
30
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,216
There's a picture in here.
Look at that.
31
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,549
This is really old.
You don't know whose it is?
32
00:01:30,723 --> 00:01:33,248
l haven't worn this jacket
since l had it dry-cleaned.
33
00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:35,451
-Maybe we should ask.
-We'll stop over there.
34
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:38,119
-What do you wanna get for breakfast?
-Pancakes.
35
00:01:38,298 --> 00:01:40,027
Come on, you know
l'm getting pancakes.
36
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,691
-l don't know that.
-We can't both get pancakes.
37
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:46,771
lt's embarrassing. That's one step
from the couples that dress alike.
38
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,932
-l'll get the short stack.
-That's why l love you.
39
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,509
1 5-9.
40
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:56,080
-How you doing?
-We just got back from breakfast.
41
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:59,343
-Pancakes were dynamite.
-ls that my maple syrup?
42
00:02:01,754 --> 00:02:02,778
Yeah.
43
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,651
-You bring your own syrup?
-You got to.
44
00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:06,792
You got a lot to learn
about pancakes.
45
00:02:09,562 --> 00:02:12,554
This is my wife.
She died eight years ago.
46
00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,632
l've been looking all over for this.
47
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,861
lt's lucky that l put the jacket on.
How did it get in the pocket?
48
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:21,632
The chain is broken. lt must have
slipped in when l was....
49
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:26,172
l turned my house
upside down looking for this.
50
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:29,680
-lt's all l have left of her.
-That's so touching.
51
00:02:29,849 --> 00:02:31,146
You know what
l'm gonna do?
52
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,885
l'm gonna give you and your family
25 percent off your dry cleaning.
53
00:02:35,054 --> 00:02:38,182
-Oh, come on. lt's silly.
-Forget it.
54
00:02:38,358 --> 00:02:39,586
-Get out of here.
-lt's done.
55
00:02:39,759 --> 00:02:41,021
All right.
56
00:02:41,194 --> 00:02:44,755
l guess l get it too,
because l'm his wife.
57
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,698
l didn't know you were married.
58
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,698
Oh, yeah.
59
00:02:51,671 --> 00:02:55,232
You never met my wife, Meryl.
Meryl Seinfeld.
60
00:02:56,042 --> 00:02:58,101
Yeah, sure.
You get the discount too.
61
00:02:58,278 --> 00:03:00,178
You might regret that.
The money my wife...
62
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:02,906
-...spends on clothes--
-l'm taking him to the cleaners.
63
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:04,413
See her sense of humor?
64
00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,781
l'm so nuts about you.
l tell you, it was fun being single.
65
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:11,720
But when you meet a woman like this,
you don't walk to get married. You run.
66
00:03:15,795 --> 00:03:17,490
Oh. Hi, Greg.
67
00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,256
-Haven't seen you in a while.
-Yeah.
68
00:03:19,432 --> 00:03:21,423
Today was the first day
l've worked out...
69
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:23,432
...since the Central Park
mini-marathon.
70
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:27,699
-You ran the mini-marathon?
-No, but l exercised that day.
71
00:03:29,976 --> 00:03:31,443
l gotta take off.
72
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:34,512
As an airline pilot, you're one
of the few people who can...
73
00:03:34,681 --> 00:03:36,706
...say that and mean it.
74
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:42,945
-Do you have the time?
-Eleven-thirty.
75
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,455
-Eleven-thirty?
-Wait, wait, 1 0:30. Sorry.
76
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:48,920
-You have to be somewhere?
-No.
77
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,653
-What are you doing?
-Just waiting for my friend George.
78
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,628
We worked out together.
79
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:56,732
-Well, it's good seeing you.
-Nice to see you too.
80
00:03:57,103 --> 00:03:58,434
Bye.
81
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:06,701
Would you...?
82
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,672
-Can l--?
-Pardon?
83
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,640
The syrup.
Would you pass the syrup?
84
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:14,751
Oh, you want to try the syrup.
85
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:18,350
Can l get you anything else?
86
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:21,625
Yeah. My wife and l
will have a little more coffee.
87
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:24,285
-Okay.
-And the check for my husband.
88
00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:29,998
To my beautiful wife.
89
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:32,599
To my adoring husband.
90
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:35,773
-Adoring? What about handsome?
-l like adoring.
91
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,775
Yeah, sure. Adoring's good for you.
What's it do for me?
92
00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:42,747
Excuse me.
93
00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:44,945
Where did you get that?
94
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,710
l-- Well--
95
00:04:46,886 --> 00:04:51,346
We don't allow
any outside syrups...
96
00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,524
...jams, or condiments
in the restaurant.
97
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:59,356
And if l catch you in here
with that again...
98
00:04:59,532 --> 00:05:01,625
...l will confiscate it.
99
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,634
Well, l told my wife not to bring it.
100
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:08,306
Really? Twenty-five percent off?
101
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,238
-Do l get that too?
-No. Just Meryl.
102
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:14,574
-Why does she get it?
-Because she's my wife.
103
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:18,378
Yeah?
104
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,588
l tell you, l'm really enjoying
this marriage thing.
105
00:05:23,756 --> 00:05:26,224
You think about each other.
You care about each other.
106
00:05:26,392 --> 00:05:28,257
lt's wonderful.
l love saying ''My wife.''
107
00:05:28,428 --> 00:05:30,225
Once l started saying it,
l can't stop.
108
00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,455
''My wife'' this, ''my wife'' that.
109
00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:35,396
lt's an amazing way
to begin a sentence.
110
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,533
''My wife has an inner ear infection.''
111
00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,167
-See?
-l like that.
112
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,835
Will you do me a favor? Will you
take my quilt into the cleaners...
113
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,605
...so l can get the discount too?
114
00:05:48,781 --> 00:05:50,908
We'll start doing this now?
l can't be taking...
115
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:55,180
-...all your dry cleaning in.
-Just this one time. lt's expensive.
116
00:05:56,422 --> 00:05:57,582
Hey, Elaine.
117
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,624
What do you say, if neither of us
is married in 1 0 years...
118
00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:02,727
-...we get hitched?
-Let's make it 50.
119
00:06:03,996 --> 00:06:06,988
We're engaged.
All right, l'm gonna get my quilt.
120
00:06:08,668 --> 00:06:10,033
All right. Listen to this.
121
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:12,101
Remember that guy
at the health club?
122
00:06:12,271 --> 00:06:13,704
The flyboy. Where's George?
123
00:06:13,873 --> 00:06:16,137
-l thought he was with you.
-He didn't show up.
124
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,335
Anyway, this guy gave me...
125
00:06:19,512 --> 00:06:21,707
...an open-lip kiss.
126
00:06:22,749 --> 00:06:24,580
-So?
-So?
127
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,445
We've always just kind of pecked.
128
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,211
This one had a different dynamic.
129
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,980
-Really?
-Yeah. l mean....
130
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,522
His upper lip landed flush
on my upper lip...
131
00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:36,992
...but his lower lip landed
well below my rim.
132
00:06:37,163 --> 00:06:39,256
-Moisture?
-Yeah. Definite moisture.
133
00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:41,400
-That's an open-lip kiss, all right.
-Yeah.
134
00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:43,464
l think he's giving me a big signal.
135
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,831
Maybe he wants
to change our relationship.
136
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:50,073
Yeah.
137
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:54,644
-It's George.
-Hey, what happened to you?
138
00:06:55,515 --> 00:06:57,915
Nothing. A little problem.
139
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,816
What was it? l mean, l was waiting.
140
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:04,718
Can I come upstairs, please?
141
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,416
Maybe he wants to ask me out.
142
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,754
Why are you interested?
He's a jerk.
143
00:07:10,129 --> 00:07:13,155
Because he doesn't pay any
attention to me, and he ignores me.
144
00:07:13,866 --> 00:07:16,460
-Yeah, so?
-l respect that.
145
00:07:19,605 --> 00:07:21,630
What happened?
146
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,971
Nothing, l said it was
a little problem.
147
00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:26,873
Yeah, what was it?
148
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:31,540
l was in the locker room
showering, and l...
149
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,981
-...l had to go, so--
-Here we go.
150
00:07:38,925 --> 00:07:42,656
Anyway, l think the guy
in the shower opposite saw me.
151
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,588
He even gave me a dirty look.
152
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,064
You went...
153
00:07:48,234 --> 00:07:49,929
...in the shower?
154
00:07:51,571 --> 00:07:53,402
Yeah, so what?
155
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:55,336
l'm not the only one.
156
00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,169
-Do you go in the shower?
-No, never.
157
00:07:57,343 --> 00:08:00,073
-Do you?
-l take baths.
158
00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:05,477
What was l supposed to do?
159
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:07,619
Get out of the shower,
put on my bathrobe...
160
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:10,221
...go to the other end,
come all the way back?
161
00:08:10,690 --> 00:08:13,682
Did you ever hear of holding it in?
162
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:16,721
Oh, no. That's very bad
for the kidneys.
163
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:19,658
-How do you know?
-Medical journals.
164
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:22,531
Do the medical journals
mention anything...
165
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:25,227
...about standing in a pool
of someone else's urine?
166
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:31,504
Hello.
167
00:08:31,677 --> 00:08:34,544
-Oh, hi, honey.
-What are you doing here?
168
00:08:34,714 --> 00:08:37,114
l just thought
l'd drop off a few things.
169
00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:41,279
l must have been in
the incinerator room when you left.
170
00:08:41,454 --> 00:08:42,921
Here you go, Marty.
171
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,579
Another quilt?
172
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,555
-Jerry.
-Uncle Leo.
173
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:49,695
-Hello.
-Hello.
174
00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:53,457
lf you or your wife
want to drop by on Wednesday--
175
00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,000
Your wife?
176
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,499
Yeah.
177
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,428
My wife.
178
00:08:59,605 --> 00:09:01,539
What are you talking about?
179
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:06,208
l got married.
180
00:09:06,746 --> 00:09:08,577
You got married?
181
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:10,841
l wasn't invited?
182
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,611
Nobody sends me an invitation?
183
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:15,649
Well, it was sudden.
184
00:09:15,821 --> 00:09:19,279
Are you ashamed of your uncle?
Do l embarrass you?
185
00:09:19,458 --> 00:09:21,653
No, no. lt was a small ceremony.
186
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,954
Haven't l always been
the good uncle?
187
00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:25,529
Yes, yes, you have.
188
00:09:25,698 --> 00:09:28,667
Who told you when you went
to school that you print well?
189
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,495
You did.
190
00:09:30,670 --> 00:09:33,662
When he was younger, he had
a beautiful penmanship.
191
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,568
l used to encourage him to print.
192
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:38,733
-l'm a good printer.
-l remember your ''V.''
193
00:09:38,911 --> 00:09:41,277
lt was like a perfect triangle.
194
00:09:41,647 --> 00:09:43,911
-Oh, there's my bus.
-There you go.
195
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,413
-Hello! Wait!
-Uncle Leo. Uncle--
196
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:52,486
l'm glad you're here.
This can get really boring.
197
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,618
You know where l can get
some good olives?
198
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,921
-l can find out.
-Would you?
199
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,291
Sure.
200
00:09:59,465 --> 00:10:03,663
Oh, a project.That's a definite signal.
201
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,537
By the way, you look
really great in that leotard.
202
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:08,498
Thanks.
203
00:10:08,674 --> 00:10:11,142
That's no signal.Who wouldn't like me in this leotard?
204
00:10:11,310 --> 00:10:14,143
I look amazing in this leotard.
205
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:17,613
lt's weird. l think l had a dream
about you last night.
206
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,149
Okay, he open-lips me,he dreams about me...
207
00:10:20,319 --> 00:10:23,948
...we have an olive project, that's it.I'm asking this guy out.
208
00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:26,517
-You know, Greg--
-Can l have a sip of water?
209
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,683
-Yeah, sure.
-Thanks.
210
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,592
Oh, my God.
211
00:10:37,036 --> 00:10:40,631
-l'm sorry. What were you saying?
-lt was nothing. Forget it.
212
00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:42,906
See that guy right there?
213
00:10:43,142 --> 00:10:44,973
-Yeah. You mean him?
-Yeah.
214
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:47,772
l caught him urinating
in the shower.
215
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:51,040
l'm thinking about
turning him in too.
216
00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,985
Honey, could you get me
something to drink?
217
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:07,394
-You're right there.
-Come on, l'm sitting.
218
00:11:13,239 --> 00:11:15,139
Honey, what did you do
with the can opener?
219
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:18,208
-l didn't do anything with it.
-lt's not here. lt was here yesterday.
220
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:21,107
-lt's in the first drawer.
-l'm looking in the first drawer.
221
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,510
-lt's not here.
-Yes, it is.
222
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,310
Hey, l'm not stupid.
223
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,850
l'm looking in that drawer.
There's no can opener.
224
00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:32,347
-Did l say you were stupid?
-Well, wouldn't l have to be?
225
00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:36,087
You tell me there's a can opener
in the drawer...
226
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,230
...l'm looking,
there's no can opener.
227
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:40,797
What other conclusion
could one reach?
228
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:44,163
-You want me to go find it?
-Yes, l do.
229
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:47,128
You show me where there's
a can opener in that drawer.
230
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:49,467
Hello. l'm sorry.
l'm just fighting with my wife.
231
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,734
Jerry, we just heard.
What's going on?
232
00:11:51,911 --> 00:11:53,139
Why didn't you tell us?
233
00:11:53,312 --> 00:11:55,780
-Listen, Mom--
-lt was in here yesterday.
234
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:58,075
Yeah. That's what l said.
235
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,652
Who is she?
When did this happened?
236
00:12:00,820 --> 00:12:02,287
l told her you'd get married.
237
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:04,218
She thought you'd never do it.
238
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,654
-Morty, you're talking too loud.
-l'm not.
239
00:12:06,826 --> 00:12:09,727
-You're hurting my eardrum.
-You must've done something with it.
240
00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:11,328
l'm on the phone.
241
00:12:11,497 --> 00:12:13,988
ls she there? Can we talk to her?
What's her name?
242
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,656
Mom, l'm not married.
243
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,962
-What?
-l'm not married.
244
00:12:18,137 --> 00:12:20,002
l knew it. l told you.
245
00:12:20,206 --> 00:12:21,434
Uncle Leo said.
246
00:12:21,607 --> 00:12:25,236
l'm just pretending l'm married
to get a discount on dry cleaning.
247
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,935
A discount on dry cleaning?
248
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,408
Could you make a little more noise?
249
00:12:30,816 --> 00:12:32,078
l'll have to call you later.
250
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:34,613
Well, l give up.
251
00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,846
Well, whoopee-woo.
252
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:41,355
-You got any coffee?
-Yeah.
253
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,150
Oh, boy.
254
00:12:45,631 --> 00:12:47,394
l'll get it, l'll get it.
255
00:12:47,566 --> 00:12:50,296
Take it easy. Why are you so tired?
256
00:12:50,903 --> 00:12:53,167
My quilt is still at the cleaners.
257
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,206
Jerry, l can't sleep without my quilt.
258
00:12:56,375 --> 00:12:59,037
The other night l was cold,
so last night...
259
00:12:59,211 --> 00:13:03,011
...l turned up the heat, it's too hot.
l opened up a window, it's too cold.
260
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:05,878
l can't get into the zone.
261
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:09,681
What is that? That.
262
00:13:10,055 --> 00:13:12,148
l forgot.
263
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:19,295
l'm sorry about all that
can opener stuff.
264
00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,523
Yeah. Me too.
265
00:13:22,835 --> 00:13:24,826
-l love you.
-l love you.
266
00:13:25,437 --> 00:13:27,302
-Well, good night.
-Good night.
267
00:13:36,348 --> 00:13:38,373
They could kick me out
if he tells them.
268
00:13:38,551 --> 00:13:40,485
What do you want me to do?
269
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,848
-Talk to him.
-How can l do that?
270
00:13:43,022 --> 00:13:45,013
You said the guy gave you
an open-lipped kiss.
271
00:13:45,191 --> 00:13:48,251
But then he wiped his hand
on the top of the bottle...
272
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:51,021
...when l offered him water.
273
00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:52,895
That doesn't mean anything.
274
00:13:53,065 --> 00:13:54,896
Are you kidding?
That's very significant.
275
00:13:55,067 --> 00:13:57,160
lf he was interested in me,
he'd want my germs.
276
00:13:57,336 --> 00:13:59,133
He'd just crave my germs.
277
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,636
She's right, George.
Bottle-wipe is big.
278
00:14:02,274 --> 00:14:03,832
What about the open-lip kiss?
279
00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:06,534
Bottle-wipe supersedes it.
280
00:14:07,446 --> 00:14:09,812
Yeah, you're right. You're right.
281
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:13,178
Maybe he's not interested,
but you still know him.
282
00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:15,650
-Can't you just ask him?
-George.
283
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:17,288
But if l ask him now...
284
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:20,356
...l will have no chance
of going out with him.
285
00:14:20,759 --> 00:14:22,693
Why?
286
00:14:24,530 --> 00:14:26,191
l don't know.
287
00:14:30,669 --> 00:14:32,967
Could it be because
you don't want him to know...
288
00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,003
...that your friend
pees in the shower?
289
00:14:35,207 --> 00:14:37,107
-That's not it.
-l think it is.
290
00:14:37,276 --> 00:14:39,801
-That's exactly what it is.
-Why couldn't you wait?
291
00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,106
l was there. l saw a drain.
292
00:14:42,281 --> 00:14:45,341
-Since when is a drain a toilet?
-lt's all pipes.
293
00:14:45,517 --> 00:14:48,452
-What's the difference?
-Different pipes go to different places.
294
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:51,715
-You're gonna mix them up.
-l'll call a plumber right now.
295
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:55,349
-Can we just drop the pee-pipes stuff?
-Okay.
296
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:58,654
Okay, okay, l will talk to him.
297
00:14:58,831 --> 00:15:01,459
-Jerry, l think that quilt is ready.
-All right.
298
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,693
-You gotta pick it up.
-l'll pick it up.
299
00:15:03,869 --> 00:15:06,736
-But it's the last time l'm doing it.
-l'm so tired.
300
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,204
-You don't look good.
-Huh? l don't?
301
00:15:09,375 --> 00:15:11,434
-No. You look pale.
-Pale?
302
00:15:11,677 --> 00:15:15,408
Oh, my God.
l gotta meet Anna's parents today.
303
00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:21,880
Hello? Hi, honey.
304
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:24,515
Yes, l told him.
305
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:26,157
l'll get it.
306
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:28,389
Whenever.
307
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,594
Okay.
308
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,795
Okay, l'm sorry.
309
00:15:39,405 --> 00:15:43,000
-l'm sorry. lt's not ready yet.
-Not ready?
310
00:15:43,542 --> 00:15:46,875
lt has to be ready. What kind
of a business are you running here?
311
00:15:47,046 --> 00:15:49,378
Who the hell are you?
lt's not your quilt.
312
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,745
He's a good friend of mine.
He's like an older brother to me.
313
00:15:52,918 --> 00:15:55,785
When things don't go right,
he takes it personally.
314
00:15:56,322 --> 00:15:58,290
-Maybe tomorrow.
-Maybe.
315
00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:00,049
lt's okay. lt'll be okay.
316
00:16:00,225 --> 00:16:01,886
-l'll see you later.
-Where you going?
317
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,155
l gotta meet Anna's parents,
remember? l look terrible.
318
00:16:05,331 --> 00:16:07,231
l'm gonna hit
the tanning machines.
319
00:16:07,533 --> 00:16:10,127
l can't believe you still do that.
lt's bad for you.
320
00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:12,133
That's how l maintain my glow.
321
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,496
-l'm going home.
-Yeah.
322
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:20,678
-Excuse me.
-Yeah?
323
00:16:21,413 --> 00:16:23,005
How much would it cost
to clean this?
324
00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:26,174
-Oh, about $ 1 3.
-Thirteen?
325
00:16:26,752 --> 00:16:28,583
Well, l can't afford that.
326
00:16:29,555 --> 00:16:32,046
Well, l'm sorry.
327
00:16:42,201 --> 00:16:44,328
-Hi, Greg.
-Hey, Elaine. l'll be off in a second.
328
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:45,902
Okay.
329
00:16:46,138 --> 00:16:48,129
l got the machine next, buddy.
330
00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:56,804
lt's all yours.
331
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,349
What happened?
Did he bring it up?
332
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:06,821
Never mind that.
Look at the signal l just got.
333
00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:08,482
Signal? What signal?
334
00:17:08,660 --> 00:17:11,128
He knew l'd use it next.
He didn't wipe his sweat off.
335
00:17:11,296 --> 00:17:13,161
That's a gesture of intimacy.
336
00:17:13,732 --> 00:17:15,199
l'll tell you what that is.
337
00:17:15,367 --> 00:17:17,301
That's a violation of club rules.
338
00:17:17,469 --> 00:17:21,337
-Now l got him. You're my witness.
-Wait a second, George. Listen.
339
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,941
He knew what he was doing.
This was a signal.
340
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:27,875
-A guy leaves sweat, that's a signal?
-Yes. lt's a social thing.
341
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,982
lf he left a used Kleenex,
what's that, a valentine?
342
00:17:31,617 --> 00:17:34,211
You tell him if he's thinking
of turning me in...
343
00:17:34,386 --> 00:17:37,378
-...that l got the goods on him.
-No. l won't be a party to this.
344
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:41,185
So you're gonna let me get suspended
for shower urination?
345
00:17:41,360 --> 00:17:42,622
Okay, l'll talk to him...
346
00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:45,730
...but you're putting me
in very a difficult position.
347
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:51,198
-l can't let you do this.
-l want to.
348
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,406
-But it isn't right. l can't.
-Give me the clothes.
349
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,234
Jerry, please.
350
00:17:56,608 --> 00:17:59,076
-What about her?
-Oh, the hell with her.
351
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:01,510
l can't.
352
00:18:11,323 --> 00:18:12,790
No, Jerry, please.
353
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,552
l'm not gonna let you
walk out of my life.
354
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:18,158
l can't fight you.
355
00:18:24,369 --> 00:18:25,802
Do you want box or hanger?
356
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:28,536
You decide.
357
00:18:47,593 --> 00:18:49,720
You're really working up
quite a sweat today.
358
00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:50,953
Yeah.
359
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,495
Oh, there's the manager.
360
00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:55,098
Good. l think l'm gonna
talk to her about that guy.
361
00:18:55,267 --> 00:18:56,894
We can't have people like that here.
362
00:18:57,069 --> 00:19:00,630
-Are you sure you wanna do that?
-Yeah. He's disgusting.
363
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:03,297
Besides, l'll take
any chance l can to talk to her.
364
00:19:06,578 --> 00:19:09,775
-You're interested in her?
-Very.
365
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,815
You know, l'm engaged.
366
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:19,616
Yep, l'm getting married in 50 years.
367
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:25,357
Oh, good, there he is.
368
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:28,364
l wanna be able to point him out.
369
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:31,826
You know, Greg,
l wouldn't do that if l were you.
370
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,472
-Why?
-Well, correct me if l'm wrong...
371
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,541
...but isn't it a violation of club policy...
372
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:40,872
...to not wipe down a machine
after using it?
373
00:19:44,716 --> 00:19:46,741
Oh, l see.
374
00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:49,444
You're friends with the urinator,
aren't you?
375
00:19:49,621 --> 00:19:50,883
Yeah, well...
376
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,456
...at least he had a drain.
377
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:02,127
There you go, Mrs. Seinfeld.
378
00:20:02,301 --> 00:20:06,067
With your 25 percent discount,
it comes to $ 1 7.80.
379
00:20:07,139 --> 00:20:08,629
Here you go.
380
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,113
Excuse me, this isn't mine.
381
00:20:15,914 --> 00:20:17,848
Oh, yes, it is.
382
00:20:18,016 --> 00:20:20,109
Your husband brought it in himself.
383
00:20:21,453 --> 00:20:22,943
Really?
384
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:26,289
Thank you.
385
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,885
That's him.
386
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,294
Hi.
387
00:20:45,677 --> 00:20:47,508
You son of a bitch.
388
00:20:48,447 --> 00:20:50,472
-l'm sorry.
-Who is she?
389
00:20:50,649 --> 00:20:53,311
-l want to know who she is.
-lt doesn't matter.
390
00:20:53,785 --> 00:20:55,446
l want a divorce.
391
00:20:57,456 --> 00:20:58,821
A divorce?
392
00:20:58,991 --> 00:21:01,824
So you can marry her
and give her the discount?
393
00:21:02,527 --> 00:21:03,926
Yes, that's right.
394
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,190
-What happened to us, Jerry?
-l'll tell you what happened.
395
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,163
We got married.
396
00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:12,760
l'm sorry. This is my fault.
l pushed it on you.
397
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:16,135
No. l guess l just wasn't ready
for the responsibilities...
398
00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:18,276
...of a pretend marriage.
399
00:21:20,012 --> 00:21:21,445
Goodbye, Jerry.
400
00:21:24,249 --> 00:21:25,614
l forgot.
401
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,915
This is your maple syrup.
402
00:21:28,253 --> 00:21:30,380
lt's all right, l want you to have it.
403
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:32,583
Okay, thanks.
404
00:21:34,026 --> 00:21:36,290
We'll always have pancakes.
405
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:39,690
Goodbye, Jerry.
406
00:21:42,334 --> 00:21:45,132
l thought you said
you was bringing a white boy home.
407
00:21:45,304 --> 00:21:47,329
l don't see a white boy.
408
00:21:47,506 --> 00:21:49,474
l see a damn fool.
409
00:22:00,686 --> 00:22:02,620
To me, the thing about marriage is...
410
00:22:02,788 --> 00:22:05,120
...l can't believe
how often it happens.
411
00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:10,018
l like the idea of it, but l can't believe
that many people...
412
00:22:10,195 --> 00:22:13,221
...are meeting people that they want
to see every single day...
413
00:22:13,398 --> 00:22:16,731
...every day, every day,
every day, every day.
414
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:19,063
That should happen,
like, three or four times...
415
00:22:19,237 --> 00:22:21,330
...you know, in the whole century.
416
00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:24,031
Like any major investment,
you sign a marriage contract.
417
00:22:24,209 --> 00:22:26,803
Here's your person.
lf you're a man, the bride's family...
418
00:22:26,978 --> 00:22:29,242
...pays for the wedding,
like getting cash back.
419
00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:32,406
''Till death do us part'' that's
the extended warranty program.
420
00:22:32,584 --> 00:22:34,848
You give her the ring,
that's the keys.
421
00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:38,683
You slide it on, start him up,
but you've got to make it work.
422
00:22:38,857 --> 00:22:42,759
Your value drops 20 percent when
you drive each other off the lot.
32152
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
