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www.tvsubtitles.net
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l love these nature shows.
3
00:00:04,704 --> 00:00:07,104
And it's amazing
how you can always relate.
4
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:09,798
You're watching the
African dung beetle and going:
5
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,410
''Boy, his life is a lot like mine.''
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:15,747
You always root for whichever animal
is the star of the show.
7
00:00:15,915 --> 00:00:18,509
Like, if it's the antelope,
and a lion's chasing it...
8
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:22,712
...you go, ''Run, antelope, run.
Use your speed. Get away.''
9
00:00:23,156 --> 00:00:24,953
Then next week it's the lion...
10
00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,060
...and then you go, ''Get the antelope.
Eat him. Bite his ass!
11
00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:30,287
Trap him.
Don't let him use his speed.''
12
00:00:36,269 --> 00:00:38,897
Well, did he bring it up
in the meeting?
13
00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:41,097
Elaine, see this T-shirt?
14
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:44,801
Six years, l've had this T-shirt.
lt's my best one.
15
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:48,141
l call him Golden Boy.
16
00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:50,372
Yeah. l'm on the phone here.
17
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:53,678
Golden Boy's always the first shirt
l wear out of the laundry. Here.
18
00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,151
Touch Golden Boy.
19
00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,551
No, thanks.
Yeah. Yeah, l'll hold.
20
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,285
But, see, look at the collar.
lt's fraying.
21
00:01:01,461 --> 00:01:03,986
Golden Boy is slowly dying.
22
00:01:04,431 --> 00:01:06,456
Each wash brings him
one step closer.
23
00:01:06,633 --> 00:01:08,464
That's what makes it
such a tragic figure.
24
00:01:08,635 --> 00:01:10,262
Why don't you just let Golden Boy...
25
00:01:10,437 --> 00:01:12,405
-...soak in the sink with some Woolite.
-No.
26
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:14,771
The reason he's the iron man...
27
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,000
...is because he goes out
and plays every game.
28
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,338
Wash, spin, rinse, spin.
29
00:01:19,512 --> 00:01:22,777
lf you take that away from him,
you break his spirit.
30
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,041
Yeah.
31
00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:27,515
What? He is?
32
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,917
Oh, that's fantastic. l'm so excited.
33
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,422
Yes, l'm excited. Okay.
Okay, l'll be in soon.
34
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:35,083
Yeah, yeah, l'm coming. l'm coming.
Okay, bye.
35
00:01:35,261 --> 00:01:38,958
-Yuri Testikov, the Russian writer.
-The guy who was in the gulag?
36
00:01:39,132 --> 00:01:42,124
Yeah. Pendant's publishing his new
book and l'm gonna work on it.
37
00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:45,931
Lippman and l are gonna go to the
airport and pick him up in a limousine.
38
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,701
You wanna borrow Golden Boy?
39
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,942
Do you know what this means?
lt's like working with Tolstoy.
40
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,637
l read an unbelievable thing
about Tolstoy the other day.
41
00:01:54,814 --> 00:01:57,180
Did you know the original title
for War and Peace...
42
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:59,215
...was War--What is it Good For?
43
00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,622
No, l'm not kidding, Elaine. lt's true.
44
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:06,850
His mistress didn't like the title...
45
00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:09,119
...and insisted he change it
to War and Peace.
46
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:13,197
-But it's a line from that song.
-That's where they got it from.
47
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,525
-Really?
-l'm not joking.
48
00:02:19,572 --> 00:02:22,405
You can't handle the truth.
49
00:02:23,510 --> 00:02:24,977
What?
50
00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,706
l'm working on my Jack Nicholson.
51
00:02:29,015 --> 00:02:31,540
You can't handle the truth.
52
00:02:34,521 --> 00:02:36,216
-What is this, your mail?
-Yeah.
53
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,324
l grabbed it on the way out.
l don't want my mother reading it.
54
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:40,754
Your alumni magazine.
55
00:02:40,927 --> 00:02:43,293
-Your mother reads your mail?
-Yeah.
56
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:47,160
-What do you mean, like postcards?
-No. Anything.
57
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,100
-She doesn't open.
-She'll open.
58
00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,103
You've caught your mother
opening envelopes?
59
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:54,865
-Yes.
-What does she say?
60
00:02:55,041 --> 00:02:57,168
''l was curious.''
61
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:01,539
-lsn't that against the law?
-Maybe l can get her locked up.
62
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,783
Hey, Jerry, you're in the alumni
magazine. Listen to this:
63
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,943
''Jerry Seinfeld has appeared...
64
00:03:08,121 --> 00:03:10,521
...on David Letterman
and The Tonight Show...
65
00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:14,690
...and he did a pilot
for NBC called Jerry...
66
00:03:14,861 --> 00:03:16,886
...that was not picked up.''
67
00:03:19,465 --> 00:03:22,195
Georgie, how come there's not
anything about you in here?
68
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:24,700
He can't handle the truth.
69
00:03:26,005 --> 00:03:29,202
All right, this is too much fun.
l gotta get back to work.
70
00:03:34,581 --> 00:03:35,843
You all right?
71
00:03:36,015 --> 00:03:37,448
Yeah.
72
00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:39,050
-Sorry.
-lt's okay.
73
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,483
Yeah. Oh, hey, wait, wait.
74
00:03:42,488 --> 00:03:45,389
Maybe you could use this.
75
00:03:45,692 --> 00:03:47,182
Yeah.
76
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,453
lt's an electronic organizer.
77
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,124
-What?
-Yeah.
78
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:53,959
-What--?
-Yeah, here.
79
00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,657
Yeah. You know...
80
00:03:55,835 --> 00:03:59,168
...for phone numbers, addresses,
keep appointments, everything.
81
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,534
Yeah, it's got an alarm that beeps.
82
00:04:01,708 --> 00:04:04,006
Oh, l can't believe this, Kramer.
83
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:07,442
l've been wanting to get one of
these things. Are you sure that--?
84
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,574
-Sure you can't use this thing?
-No.
85
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,082
l got all my appointments
right up here.
86
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:17,112
-Where'd you get this?
-The bank. l opened a new account.
87
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:21,626
Hey, did you see that whale thing
on TV last night?
88
00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,022
No.
89
00:04:23,196 --> 00:04:24,754
l am such a huge whale fan.
90
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,588
These marine biologists showed...
91
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,564
...how they communicate
with the squeaks and the squeals.
92
00:04:29,736 --> 00:04:31,499
-What a fish.
-lt's a mammal.
93
00:04:31,704 --> 00:04:34,400
Whatever. Hey, new tape recorder?
94
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:36,542
Yeah, l got it from the bank.
95
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,104
-Hey.
-Hey.
96
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,645
Who wants to have some fun?
97
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:43,381
-l do.
-l do.
98
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:47,952
Now, are you just saying that,
or do you really wanna have fun?
99
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:49,520
l really wanna have fun.
100
00:04:49,689 --> 00:04:51,816
l'm just saying
l wanna have some fun.
101
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:56,086
Right now, there are 600 Titleists...
102
00:04:56,262 --> 00:05:00,722
...that l got from the driving range
in the trunk of my car.
103
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,099
Why don't we drive out
to Rockaway...
104
00:05:04,270 --> 00:05:06,033
...and hit them...
105
00:05:06,205 --> 00:05:08,332
...into the ocean!
106
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:12,374
Now picture this. We find a nice,
sweet spot between the dunes...
107
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:15,810
...we take out our drivers,
we tee up, and:
108
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,217
That ball goes sailing up
into the sky...
109
00:05:19,385 --> 00:05:22,843
...holds there for a moment,
and then:
110
00:05:27,593 --> 00:05:29,584
-You wanna get some lunch?
-Yeah.
111
00:05:29,762 --> 00:05:32,162
Let me stop by the cash machine,
and l'll meet you.
112
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,232
Yeah, l'm gonna get a paper.
113
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,498
-Keep your head down.
-Yeah.
114
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:43,203
Cash advance? Yes.
115
00:05:43,376 --> 00:05:46,345
No. Balance inquiry?
116
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,002
No.
117
00:05:48,614 --> 00:05:50,548
Receipt? No.
118
00:05:50,717 --> 00:05:53,413
Processing, processing.
119
00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,647
l won.
120
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,119
Jerry?
121
00:06:00,626 --> 00:06:02,218
-Yeah.
-lt's Diane.
122
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:05,296
-Diane DeConn from Queens College.
-Oh, Diane.
123
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,126
-How are you?
-Good.
124
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:09,097
-Good.
-How long has it been?
125
00:06:09,268 --> 00:06:10,860
Since college.
126
00:06:11,337 --> 00:06:13,305
l've seen you on TV.
You're doing great.
127
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:16,033
-Yeah, plugging along.
-l got the alumni magazine.
128
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:17,642
What ever happened to George?
129
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,641
l notice l never see his name
in there.
130
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:21,404
Well, he's kind of modest.
131
00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:25,040
He was always such a goof-off.
l mean, did he ever get anywhere?
132
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:28,210
-Sure.
-Yeah? What field?
133
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,721
Marine biology.
134
00:06:31,357 --> 00:06:32,881
George is a marine biologist?
135
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,787
Yeah. Pretty damn good one too.
136
00:06:35,828 --> 00:06:37,056
l can't believe it.
137
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,256
-l would never have thought.
-Yeah. He's specializing in whales.
138
00:06:40,433 --> 00:06:43,960
He's working on lowering
the cholesterol level in whales.
139
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,537
All that blubber. lt's quite unhealthy.
140
00:06:46,706 --> 00:06:49,470
lt's the largest mammal
on Earth, but as George says...
141
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:51,109
...they don't have to be.
142
00:06:53,813 --> 00:06:55,576
Diane DeConn?
143
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,443
You saw Diane DeConn?
144
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:59,608
-Something, huh?
-How did she look?
145
00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:01,811
She looked great.
146
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,014
She asked about you.
147
00:07:04,190 --> 00:07:06,090
She asked about me?
What did she say?
148
00:07:07,026 --> 00:07:08,755
''How's George?''
149
00:07:09,762 --> 00:07:12,856
George? She said George?
150
00:07:13,032 --> 00:07:14,363
She remembered my name.
151
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,931
Diane DeConn
remembered my name.
152
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:18,764
She was the ''it'' girl.
153
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:23,442
She asked for your number. l think
she's gonna get in touch with you.
154
00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,242
Okay, l'm telling you right now...
155
00:07:28,414 --> 00:07:31,747
...if you're kidding, l'm not gonna
be able to be your friend anymore.
156
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,783
l'm serious about that. You got that?
157
00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:36,285
-l got no problem with that.
-Good.
158
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,323
Because if this is a lie,
if this is a joke...
159
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:43,121
...if this is your idea of some
cute little game, we're finished.
160
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,390
Expect a call.
161
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,458
Oh, my God, he's not kidding.
162
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:50,165
Now...
163
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,327
...l should tell you...
164
00:07:56,042 --> 00:07:58,875
...that at this point...
165
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:02,839
...she's under the impression
that you're a....
166
00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:06,514
-A what?
-A marine biologist.
167
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:14,718
-A marine biologist?
-Yes.
168
00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,660
Why am l a marine biologist?
169
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:21,231
l may have mentioned it.
170
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:24,328
But l'm not a marine biologist.
171
00:08:24,704 --> 00:08:26,535
Yes, l know that.
172
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:28,538
So?
173
00:08:28,841 --> 00:08:31,002
Why, you don't think
it's a good job?
174
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,805
l didn't even know it was a job.
175
00:08:35,281 --> 00:08:38,011
Oh, it's a fascinating field.
176
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:40,452
Well, what if she calls me?
177
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:43,111
What am l supposed to say?
178
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,289
Algae.
179
00:08:47,493 --> 00:08:49,393
Obviously plankton.
180
00:08:50,429 --> 00:08:52,454
l don't know what else
l could tell you.
181
00:08:52,632 --> 00:08:55,123
l just got back from a trip
to the Galápagos lslands.
182
00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:56,632
l was living with turtles.
183
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,466
We have got you
in a very nice hotel.
184
00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:02,699
l don't know how you like to work...
185
00:09:02,875 --> 00:09:05,810
...but l can arrange
for an office if you like.
186
00:09:05,978 --> 00:09:08,572
-l work in hotel. ls better.
-ln the hotel.
187
00:09:08,748 --> 00:09:11,012
Away from all your
little petty bickerings...
188
00:09:11,183 --> 00:09:13,276
...and interference.
189
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:16,944
You know, Tolstoy used to write
in the village square.
190
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,750
The faces inspired him.
191
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:22,160
He did not need inspiration.
192
00:09:22,328 --> 00:09:25,661
God spoke through his pen.
193
00:09:25,965 --> 00:09:27,626
-That is so true.
-Yes.
194
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:31,429
Although, one wonders
if War and Peace would have been...
195
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:35,301
...as highly acclaimed, had it been
published under its original title...
196
00:09:35,474 --> 00:09:38,068
...War--What is it Good For?
197
00:09:38,544 --> 00:09:39,909
-What?
-Yeah.
198
00:09:40,079 --> 00:09:42,741
Mr. Lippman, it was his mistress
who insisted...
199
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:45,406
-...that he call it War and Peace.
-Elaine, Elaine.
200
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,018
War--What is it Good For?
201
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:50,587
Absolutely nothingSay it again
202
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,384
-Elaine.
-lt's a song. They took it from Tolstoy.
203
00:09:53,559 --> 00:09:55,527
-No. Elaine.
-War...
204
00:09:55,695 --> 00:09:57,993
-... What is it Good For?
-lt's her sense of humor.
205
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:00,462
-No, it's not. That is true.
-What is that noise?
206
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,965
-No, it's not.
-That noise!
207
00:10:03,135 --> 00:10:06,434
What is that noise? lt's traveling
up my spine, into my brain.
208
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:10,167
-lt's coming from your purse.
-lt must be my new organizer.
209
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,776
-That noise.
-Turn it off.
210
00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:14,504
-Right. l think it's this--
-l cannot stand it.
211
00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,375
-lt's the button at the top.
-Okay.
212
00:10:16,549 --> 00:10:19,484
-Will you turn it off?
-Not the-- The one at the top.
213
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:20,949
Give it to me.
214
00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:34,794
l did it for you.
215
00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:36,901
l don't know why
you had to tell her that.
216
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:40,596
You put me in a very difficult
position. Marine biologist.
217
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:43,139
l'm very uncomfortable
with this whole thing.
218
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,834
l would think it's right up your alley.
219
00:10:46,012 --> 00:10:47,536
Well, it's not up my alley.
220
00:10:47,747 --> 00:10:50,307
lt's one thing if l make it up,
l know what l'm doing.
221
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,474
l know my alleys.
222
00:10:53,285 --> 00:10:55,947
You got me in the Galápagos lslands
living with the turtles.
223
00:10:56,122 --> 00:10:57,646
l don't know where the hell l am.
224
00:10:58,524 --> 00:11:00,924
You came in the other day
with all that whale stuff...
225
00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:02,651
...the squeaking and the squealing.
226
00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:05,194
Look, why couldn't you
make me an architect?
227
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:08,026
You know l always wanted to pretend
l was an architect.
228
00:11:10,136 --> 00:11:12,161
Well, l'm supposed
to see her tomorrow.
229
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:14,272
l'm gonna tell her what's going on.
230
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:17,533
l mean, maybe she
just likes me for me.
231
00:11:18,110 --> 00:11:19,236
-Hey.
-Hey.
232
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:21,073
You want these?
233
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:23,714
l don't want them.
234
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:28,386
-Why?
-l stink!
235
00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:30,283
l can't play.
236
00:11:30,456 --> 00:11:33,584
The ball is just sitting there, Jerry,
and l can't hit it.
237
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:36,626
l only hit one really good ball
that went way out there.
238
00:11:36,796 --> 00:11:40,254
-Well, what happened?
-l have no concentration.
239
00:11:42,168 --> 00:11:45,934
-What's wrong with your--?
-Sand. l can't get rid of the sand.
240
00:11:46,105 --> 00:11:51,168
Look at this. Look, there's still some
in here. lt won't go away.
241
00:11:51,343 --> 00:11:55,404
-Look, l even got sand in the pockets.
-You're getting it all over the floor.
242
00:11:59,318 --> 00:12:00,808
Hello.
243
00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:03,921
Yeah. Yes, it is.
244
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:05,682
Really?
245
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,889
Could you hold on a second?
Hey, listen to this.
246
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:11,552
A woman found an electronic
organizer. My name's in it.
247
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,131
-She wants help finding the owner.
-How'd she find it?
248
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,497
She's walking down the street
and it hit her in the head.
249
00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:25,101
So l am walking along...
250
00:12:25,277 --> 00:12:27,802
...minding my own business,
when all of a sudden...
251
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:30,244
...this thing comes flying
out of nowhere...
252
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,475
...and clonks me
right on the head.
253
00:12:32,651 --> 00:12:33,675
Yeah.
254
00:12:33,853 --> 00:12:36,083
-So they took me to the hospital.
-Yeah.
255
00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,691
Yeah. And they put me in this thing
that feels like a coffin...
256
00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:42,020
...for 45 minutes.
257
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:45,630
You ever been in one of those things?
You could go berserk in there.
258
00:12:45,798 --> 00:12:47,527
-Well, you have insurance.
-l wish.
259
00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:50,100
-Unbelievable.
-Yeah.
260
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,737
-What is with this thing?
-lt never shuts up.
261
00:12:52,905 --> 00:12:55,567
So anyway, you could see
why l would be interested...
262
00:12:55,741 --> 00:12:57,800
-...in finding this person.
-Absolutely.
263
00:12:58,010 --> 00:13:00,376
You should not have to pay for that.
264
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:02,810
Stop it. Stop it!
265
00:13:02,982 --> 00:13:04,244
Let me look at this thing.
266
00:13:04,416 --> 00:13:07,613
Somebody told me they thought
they saw it come out of a limousine.
267
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,689
Typical rich people using the world
for their personal garbage can.
268
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:16,155
Boy, am l lucky your name came up.
l just pushed a button.
269
00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:19,195
l want to know what my name's
doing in this creep's organizer.
270
00:13:19,365 --> 00:13:20,525
-Yeah.
-Who do l know...
271
00:13:20,699 --> 00:13:23,998
...who would have even been
in a limousine yesterday?
272
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:31,636
-Oh, hey.
-Hey. Great organizer you gave me.
273
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,244
You liked it, huh?
274
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:35,175
lt wouldn't stop beeping in the car...
275
00:13:35,347 --> 00:13:37,713
...so Testikov threw it
out the window.
276
00:13:38,484 --> 00:13:40,179
l transferred everything in there.
277
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:43,549
l threw out my old book.
l'm lost now, Kramer.
278
00:13:44,590 --> 00:13:48,492
-What? What is it?
-The sand. lt's everywhere.
279
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:50,987
Okay, l'll see you later.
280
00:13:51,730 --> 00:13:54,028
-Oh, there you are.
-There you are.
281
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:55,428
-So?
-So?
282
00:13:55,601 --> 00:13:59,230
-What do you have to say for yourself?
-What do you have to say for yourself?
283
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:02,033
Why should l say anything
for myself?
284
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:04,575
War--What is it Good For?
285
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,778
Who told you?
286
00:14:11,016 --> 00:14:12,779
Yuri Testikov...
287
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,718
...the Russian writer. Hello?
288
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,688
You told Testikov...
289
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:23,486
...that Tolstoy wanted
to name his book...
290
00:14:23,662 --> 00:14:26,222
...War--What is it Good For?
291
00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,231
And do you know what happened?
292
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:33,697
-Can l take a guess?
-Oh, please.
293
00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:38,343
Oh, l don't know. He threw
your organizer out the window?
294
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,671
What? How do you know that?
295
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,576
-Because l know who has it.
-How did you find it?
296
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:46,980
The woman who got hit with it found
my name, called me, and we met.
297
00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,780
-Where is it? Give it to me.
-l don't have it.
298
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:51,952
-Why not?
-She's not returning it...
299
00:14:52,124 --> 00:14:54,820
...until she gets the money back
for the hospital bill.
300
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,929
But l didn't do it.
Testikov did it. He should pay for it.
301
00:14:58,130 --> 00:15:00,724
How much is Testikov
getting from Pendant for this book?
302
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:03,528
-One million.
-Well, that's a start.
303
00:15:04,303 --> 00:15:05,930
Then, of course, with evolution...
304
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:07,936
...the octopus lost the nostrils...
305
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:11,008
...and took on the more familiar look
that we know today.
306
00:15:11,176 --> 00:15:12,438
-Really?
-Yeah.
307
00:15:12,611 --> 00:15:16,047
But if you still look closely,
you can see a little bump...
308
00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:18,308
...where the nose used to be.
309
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,145
But enough about fish.
310
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,254
l can discuss other things,
you know.
311
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:24,855
Architecture.
312
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,484
-You know what room Testikov's in?
-Yeah...
313
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:30,959
...308. l'm crazy for doing this.
314
00:15:31,130 --> 00:15:33,826
Well, you want your organizer back,
don't you?
315
00:15:33,999 --> 00:15:36,024
Why are you so interested?
316
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,829
-You wanna take her out?
-When Superman saves someone...
317
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,734
...nobody asks if he's trying
to hit on her.
318
00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:44,808
-Well, you're not Superman.
-Well, you're not Lois Lane.
319
00:15:46,679 --> 00:15:49,773
-You got the tape recorder?
-Yeah. You sure you wanna do this?
320
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,440
l gotta get Testikov on tape.
lf this woman ends up...
321
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:56,247
...in the New England Journal ofMedicine, l'm not gonna pay for it.
322
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:58,549
Oh, here she comes.
323
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:00,686
-Hi.
-Hi.
324
00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:02,121
Elaine, this is Corinne.
325
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:04,728
-Hello.
-Hi. You got the organizer?
326
00:16:06,465 --> 00:16:09,662
Let's go. We'll meet you in 1 0
minutes, hopefully with the money.
327
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:13,068
Your parents must be
so proud of you, George.
328
00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:15,502
Oh, they're busting.
329
00:16:16,775 --> 00:16:19,005
What are those people
doing over there?
330
00:16:22,614 --> 00:16:25,674
What? Come in.
Come in, Miss Benes.
331
00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:29,412
That is, if you can spare a minute
from your busy schedule.
332
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:32,182
Now do you bring guest
for my entertainment?
333
00:16:32,358 --> 00:16:34,258
Yeah, this is my friend Jerry.
334
00:16:34,426 --> 00:16:35,859
He accompanied me.
335
00:16:36,028 --> 00:16:38,724
Single women in a big city
can be dangerous, so....
336
00:16:38,897 --> 00:16:43,857
That's why l wear these sneakers.
ln case of any trouble, zip, l'm gone.
337
00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:47,699
Yeah, yeah. The sneakers.
All the Americans with the sneakers.
338
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:50,034
You're always running
from something.
339
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,938
Yeah, yeah. Well, sit. Stop running.
340
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,509
Two minutes,
l give you latest manuscript.
341
00:16:56,482 --> 00:16:58,382
Oh, Rimsky.
342
00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:01,110
Great, great book,
if l may say so, sir.
343
00:17:01,286 --> 00:17:03,754
l almost read the whole thing.
344
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:08,718
-What?
-lf you can't turn that thing off...
345
00:17:08,894 --> 00:17:10,657
...l'll have to ask you to leave.
346
00:17:10,829 --> 00:17:14,265
-l'm waiting for two people.
-Well, you can wait for them outside.
347
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:16,025
Yeah, l guess l'd better.
348
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:19,466
l wouldn't wanna take any attention
away from the hookers.
349
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:23,299
All right. All right. Out. Out.
350
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:26,544
Whatever you say, Crowell.
351
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:31,813
What's going on over here?
352
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,679
There's a beached whale.
She's dying.
353
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,320
ls anyone here a marine biologist?
354
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,452
Here is latest draft.
355
00:17:43,629 --> 00:17:46,564
l see you next week,
same time, same day.
356
00:17:46,732 --> 00:17:48,563
-On time, please.
-Okay.
357
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,964
lt was nice meeting you.
You're a real pleasure.
358
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,398
Yeah, yeah.
359
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,001
Oh, by the way, Mr. Testikov...
360
00:17:58,444 --> 00:18:02,437
...do you remember the other day
when we were in the limo and...
361
00:18:02,614 --> 00:18:07,278
...my organizer started making noise,
and you threw it out the window?
362
00:18:07,453 --> 00:18:08,920
Yes. How can l forget?
363
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:14,592
Well, would you believe that
it actually hit somebody in the head?
364
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,751
Right in the head.
365
00:18:18,397 --> 00:18:20,092
What is that noise?
366
00:18:20,566 --> 00:18:22,261
That's nothing.
367
00:18:22,434 --> 00:18:24,868
-And anyway--
-What's going on?
368
00:18:25,471 --> 00:18:27,530
-That noise.
-No, no. That's my purse.
369
00:18:27,706 --> 00:18:29,799
-That noise.
-No. Get off my purse.
370
00:18:29,975 --> 00:18:31,966
-lt's a recorder!
-No, that's-- Radio.
371
00:18:32,144 --> 00:18:33,611
You are spying on me.
372
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,234
-Save the whale.
-You've got to do it.
373
00:18:57,402 --> 00:18:59,370
Save the whale, George.
374
00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:01,096
For me.
375
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:21,287
So I started to walk into the water.
376
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:24,462
I won't lie to you, boys.
377
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,459
l was terrified.
378
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,329
But l pressed on. And as l made
my way past the breakers...
379
00:19:30,502 --> 00:19:32,436
...a strange calm came over me.
380
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:35,630
l don't know if it was
divine intervention...
381
00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:37,900
...but l tell you, Jerry,
at that moment...
382
00:19:38,644 --> 00:19:40,441
...l was a marine biologist.
383
00:19:42,748 --> 00:19:45,239
George, l've just been reading
this thing in the paper.
384
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:48,113
-lt's unbelievable.
-l know. l was just telling the story.
385
00:19:48,287 --> 00:19:50,187
Well, come on, George.
Finish the story.
386
00:19:52,057 --> 00:19:54,855
The sea was angry that day,
my friends.
387
00:19:57,462 --> 00:20:00,397
Like an old man trying
to send back soup in a deli.
388
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,602
l got about 50 feet out,
when suddenly...
389
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:12,710
...the great beast
appeared before me.
390
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:15,870
l tell you, he was 1 0 stories high
if he was a foot.
391
00:20:16,782 --> 00:20:19,945
As if sensing my presence,
he let out a great bellow.
392
00:20:20,118 --> 00:20:22,086
l said, ''Easy, big fella.''
393
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:27,286
And then, as l watched
him struggling, l realized...
394
00:20:27,459 --> 00:20:29,723
...that something was obstructing
its breathing.
395
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:33,023
From where l was standing, l could
see into the eye of the great fish.
396
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,063
-Mammal.
-Whatever.
397
00:20:36,535 --> 00:20:38,400
-What did you do next?
-Well, then...
398
00:20:38,570 --> 00:20:41,437
...from out of nowhere,
a huge tidal wave lifted me...
399
00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,667
...tossed me like a cork,
and l found myself on top of him...
400
00:20:44,843 --> 00:20:47,471
...face to face with the blowhole.
401
00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:50,706
l could barely see from the waves
crashing down upon me...
402
00:20:50,882 --> 00:20:53,077
...but l knew something was there.
403
00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:54,879
So l reached my hand in...
404
00:20:55,053 --> 00:20:58,750
...felt around, and pulled out
the obstruction.
405
00:21:18,877 --> 00:21:20,276
What is that, a Titleist?
406
00:21:24,549 --> 00:21:26,483
A hole in one, huh?
407
00:21:35,894 --> 00:21:39,591
-The crowd must have gone wild.
-Oh, yes, yes.
408
00:21:40,232 --> 00:21:42,496
Yes, Jerry. They were all over me.
409
00:21:42,668 --> 00:21:44,727
lt was like Rocky I.
410
00:21:46,571 --> 00:21:48,004
Diane came up to me...
411
00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:50,742
...threw her arms around me...
412
00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:52,308
...kissed me.
413
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:56,442
We both had tears
streaming down our faces.
414
00:21:57,115 --> 00:21:59,549
l never saw anyone so beautiful.
415
00:22:00,519 --> 00:22:03,545
lt was at that moment
that l decided to tell her...
416
00:22:03,722 --> 00:22:06,816
...that l was not a marine biologist.
417
00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:08,915
What did she say?
418
00:22:09,094 --> 00:22:12,029
Told me to go to hell
and l took the bus home.
419
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:14,358
All right. Let's go.
420
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,699
-What, are you in a bad mood?
-No.
421
00:22:17,869 --> 00:22:19,962
Got my laundry back.
422
00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,667
-Golden Boy?
-He didn't make it.
423
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,310
-l'm sorry.
-Yeah.
424
00:22:27,846 --> 00:22:29,871
This is Golden Boy's son...
425
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,515
...Baby Blue.
426
00:22:33,285 --> 00:22:35,685
-What's with you?
-This sand.
427
00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:37,752
-lt's everywhere.
-Yep.
32996
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