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1
00:00:01,680 --> 00:00:03,400
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,416
The drug I've been working on
for the past five years
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,033
just got approved by the FDA.
4
00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,629
- Congratulations!
- Wow!
5
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,712
Was that the decongestant you developed?
6
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:13,599
No, we had to rebrand that
as a solvent for mining equipment.
7
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,717
- It's an anti-inflammatory drug.
- Oh.
8
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,360
Yep, three years of testing
and no reported side effects.
9
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,398
Mmm, so, it works?
10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,436
Eh.
11
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:26,709
Well, congratulations,
I'm so happy for you.
12
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:29,720
Yeah, well, I'm happy for you because
I want you to head up my sales team.
13
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,079
Really? Me? Don't you want someone
with more experience?
14
00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,435
No, the job's all yours.
15
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,274
All right, now I'm sure some of
you are wondering, who is this woman?
16
00:00:38,360 --> 00:00:41,159
How did she get to be
in charge of the sales team?
17
00:00:41,240 --> 00:00:43,914
Is it because she's friends
with Dr. Rostenkowski?
18
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,150
Because she is.
19
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,800
Is it because she was
Miss Cornhusker 2001,
20
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:51,076
and still fits in those very same jeans?
21
00:00:51,160 --> 00:00:54,437
Because she was, and she does,
and they're actually a little baggy.
22
00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,669
And the absence of side effects
means that Inflaminex
23
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,434
can be taken in conjunction
with other medications.
24
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,398
It's a brand-new day.
25
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,756
Such a good tagline. I forgot.
Who came up with that?
26
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,150
- You did.
- That's right, I did!
27
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:11,795
Okay, I know it's late.
28
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:14,256
I've been workin' you guys really hard,
so I have a little treat for you.
29
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,350
We get to go home?
30
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,997
No, you get to stay here
and get vitamin B-12 shots.
31
00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,399
Oh, my God. You guys are still here?
32
00:01:22,760 --> 00:01:25,116
We're happy to be here,
it's a brand-new day.
33
00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,797
It's 12:15,
it's literally a brand-new day.
34
00:01:31,240 --> 00:01:33,038
Everybody, go home.
35
00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,640
All right, fine. Go.
Get out of here. Go on.
36
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,113
I think things are goin' pretty good.
37
00:01:40,560 --> 00:01:42,677
Are you aware that Dave
is in the break room, crying?
38
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,360
Yeah, I told him if he's gonna be
a crybaby, go to the break room.
39
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,275
I just really wanna be prepared
for this conference.
40
00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:49,360
You're gonna do great.
41
00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:50,560
You really think so?
42
00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,440
Of course. They're scared of you,
you're scared of me, the system works.
43
00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:58,791
Our whole universe
was in a hot dense state
44
00:01:58,880 --> 00:02:01,998
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago
Expansion started...
45
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,080
Wait!
46
00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:03,997
The earth began to cool
47
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:05,514
The autotrophs began to drool
48
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:07,194
Neanderthals developed tools
49
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:08,913
We built a wall
We built the pyramids
50
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,640
Math, science, history
Unraveling the mystery
51
00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:13,831
It all started with the Big Bang!
52
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:14,920
Bang!
53
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,395
Okay, Howie, I'm going.
54
00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:26,071
Have a great conference.
55
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,800
Thanks. Remember,
I'm leaving you with two babies.
56
00:02:28,880 --> 00:02:30,712
I expect to see two babies
when I get back,
57
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,110
and they better be the same two babies,
because I'll know.
58
00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,314
Think I'm capable of babysitting.
59
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,640
Don't call it "babysitting,"
they're your children.
60
00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:39,989
It's called "parenting."
61
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,360
What's the difference?
62
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,235
You don't get paid.
63
00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:47,958
Now, the emergency contacts
are on the fridge,
64
00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,077
- and I left money for food on the table.
- Oh!
65
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,117
Sounds like I do get paid.
66
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,390
Don't worry, I got this covered.
67
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,950
I know you do.
68
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,320
Quick question,
where are the kids right now?
69
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,719
- They're upstairs.
- They're at daycare.
70
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:04,096
- They're at daycare?
- They're upstairs!
71
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,600
Why are you messing with me?
72
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,836
Wow, that's a lot of luggage
for a weekend.
73
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,470
Ugh. You know, I didn't know what
to wear, so I brought a few options.
74
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,234
Was one of the options
the option to never come back?
75
00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,551
Just really want this weekend
to go well.
76
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,793
It doesn't answer my question, but okay.
77
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:30,791
I love you.
78
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,111
And I love you, too.
And you're gonna do great.
79
00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:36,238
Just relax, stay out of your head,
and try to enjoy it.
80
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,831
Aw. It reminds me of what I said
to you the first time we slept together.
81
00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:44,238
- I still use it. It's a mantra.
- Yeah.
82
00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:47,680
Oh, thank goodness,
I caught you before you left.
83
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:48,856
I'm just going for the weekend.
84
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,678
Just the weekend.
You all heard her say it.
85
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,836
So your convention
is in San Diego, right?
86
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:54,757
Yes.
87
00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:56,951
Great, I need you to settle
a bet for Amy and me.
88
00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:01,000
I say, when it's not Comic-Con,
no one will be dressed as superheroes.
89
00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:02,080
Mmm-hmm.
90
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,510
And I say fewer people
will be dressed as superheroes,
91
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:06,710
but still some.
92
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,192
Yeah, a crazy person in a cape
doesn't count.
93
00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:12,234
Why not? It counts at Comic-Con.
94
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,111
Also, if you get a chance
to sneak into Hall H,
95
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,079
last year, I left my neck pillow
under my seat.
96
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,478
In the third row, second from the aisle.
97
00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:23,671
I'll see what I can do.
98
00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:24,760
Thank you.
99
00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:27,231
At least there'll be
one superhero in San Diego.
100
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:32,240
So, Leonard, what're you gonna
do while Penny's away?
101
00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:35,233
Well, I don't know.
Maybe watch a movie with subtitles.
102
00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,391
Hey, if you're looking
for something outside the norm,
103
00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,437
I have invented a new chess variant,
104
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:43,274
where the bishops
can also move like knights.
105
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,000
What do you call that,
"Bishops be crazy?"
106
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:50,071
First of all, it would be,
"Bishops are crazy."
107
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,760
Not if you're being crazy.
108
00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:55,550
Checkmate.
109
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,280
- Hey, guys.
- Hello.
110
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000
Where are the kids?
111
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:03,376
- I thought they were with you.
- What? No! I...
112
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,680
I'm kidding. They're at daycare.
113
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,640
What about me makes you think
my heart can handle that joke?
114
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,116
Hey, you guys wanna come
hang out at my place this weekend?
115
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:16,794
So we can help you babysit?
116
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,279
Uh, it's not babysitting.
They're my children.
117
00:05:21,240 --> 00:05:22,310
They're not our children.
118
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:24,596
Oh. Well, for you guys then,
it is babysitting.
119
00:05:25,520 --> 00:05:27,376
No offense, Howard,
but I don't wanna spend my weekend
120
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,278
around your loud, sticky babies.
121
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,116
You can't insult my kids. I am offended.
122
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,336
You, wait... No, no, you can't be.
I said, "No offense."
123
00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,750
That's like, "No backsies,"
but for offense.
124
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,656
What do you say?
We'll play some board games,
125
00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:40,557
it'll be like a party.
126
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:43,838
Three guys playing a board game
doesn't sound like much of a party.
127
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:46,674
Someone doesn't remember
college very well.
128
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,160
As opposed to leading
non-steroidal anti-inflammatory,
129
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,311
our product greatly reduces
the risk of ulcers.
130
00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,400
So it won't burn a hole in your stomach.
131
00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,631
And it won't burn
a hole in your wallet, either.
132
00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,360
I got this.
133
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,319
Thank you for stopping by.
It's a brand-new day.
134
00:06:05,320 --> 00:06:06,470
See, you're doing great.
135
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,758
Yeah. Mediocre actress,
great drug pusher, who knew?
136
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,955
Inflaminex, huh?
So what can you tell me about it?
137
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040
Well, we have...
138
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,077
Don't waste your time,
his name is Danny.
139
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,856
He works for one
of the other drug companies.
140
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,960
Hey, nothin' wrong with
checkin' out the competition.
141
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,117
Aw, we don't see you as competition.
142
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,196
You should. Our anti-inflammatory
is hitting the market this year, too.
143
00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:30,317
Well, ours has
zero drug interaction risk.
144
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,273
So does an Altoid.
145
00:06:33,880 --> 00:06:35,758
Speakin' of Altoids,
why don't you go get one?
146
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:39,231
Okay, let's...
Everyone, calm down.
147
00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,280
If you can't find a pill for that here,
then you're not tryin' hard enough.
148
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,674
It's all right, I'll go.
149
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:49,561
I don't know what it is about that guy,
but he just gets on my nerves.
150
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,118
Well, you scared the bad man away.
Who's a good girl?
151
00:06:57,280 --> 00:06:58,680
They're still asleep.
152
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,958
Apparently, when I put someone
down for a nap, they sleep hard.
153
00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:04,720
That's a weird brag, Howard.
154
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:07,879
I'll get it.
155
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,799
Bernadette thinks
I have poor parenting skills.
156
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,999
Maybe she's basing that
on your poor husbanding skills.
157
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,320
Who can say?
158
00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:19,720
I'm bad at a lot of things.
159
00:07:22,320 --> 00:07:23,595
- Hello.
- Hi.
160
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:25,696
Hey, I didn't think you were coming.
161
00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,074
I changed my mind.
162
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,496
I thought it'd be fun to spend
some time with your children.
163
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,512
- Where are the little scamps?
- "Scamps?"
164
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:35,150
I'm sorry. Tykes? Rugrats?
What is the PC term these days?
165
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:37,436
What's goin' on?
166
00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,190
Well, we were in the bookstore,
and I found this.
167
00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:42,953
"Experimenting With Babies.
168
00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,993
Fifty amazing science projects
you can perform on your kid."
169
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,280
You can't experiment on his kids.
170
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:50,714
Yeah. You're not their father.
171
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,269
You can't experiment on my kids.
172
00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,437
Fine. Can I at least play
a game with them?
173
00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:58,752
Perhaps, "How developed
is your peripheral vision?"
174
00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:01,999
Mine's great, I saw that.
175
00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:10,876
You know these experiments
are pretty harmless.
176
00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,576
There's one where you just
put the baby in front of a mirror,
177
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,557
and you watch them watch themselves.
178
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,717
That sounds adorable. Let me see.
179
00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:20,160
What... How come when she
talks about experiments on babies,
180
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:23,079
you think it's adorable,
but when I do it, everyone gets upset?
181
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,959
I think I can speak for all of us.
You're just creepy.
182
00:08:29,800 --> 00:08:30,916
No offense.
183
00:08:33,040 --> 00:08:35,839
Hey, this one we can do
with both Michael and Halley.
184
00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,400
It's called "Grabby Hands."
185
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,551
Wasn't that your nickname
in high school?
186
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:42,360
No, it was "Momma's boy."
187
00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:44,830
But the joke was on them,
because I loved my mom.
188
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,600
Guys, listen.
"You secure them both in car seats,
189
00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:52,037
and slowly spin a toy
at the end of the string above them.
190
00:08:52,120 --> 00:08:54,316
The younger baby tends
to reach with either hand.
191
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,437
And the older baby prefers
their dominant hand."
192
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,399
That is kind of interesting.
193
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,872
It's not really
experimenting on the kids,
194
00:09:01,440 --> 00:09:03,193
it's more like experimenting
with the kids.
195
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,919
Well, I guess if you think about it,
196
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,878
it's kind of like
playing games with them.
197
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,936
Okay, you know what? When they wake up,
we can try one or two of these.
198
00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,189
Yay!
199
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:14,000
I said, "Yay!"
200
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:18,999
Thank you. It's a brand-new day!
201
00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:22,352
Wow, we got a pretty good crowd here.
202
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,399
I know. But not as big as that booth.
What's going on over there?
203
00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,153
Oh, yeah, that's Chantix.
204
00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:29,630
Ray Liotta is signing autographs
until 2:00.
205
00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:36,074
Hey, I thought we weren't supposed
to have our phones in the booth?
206
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,278
That's a you-rule, not a me-rule.
207
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:41,640
Hey. Can I help you?
208
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,136
Actually, I'm looking for the bathroom.
209
00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,231
Ah, yes. It's right next
to the laxative booth.
210
00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:46,640
That's clever, right?
211
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:51,274
So, we meet again.
212
00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:54,438
Oh, yeah. Danny, right?
How is your launch going?
213
00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,955
Good. Is Dr. Rostenkowski around?
214
00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,520
No, she stepped out for a call.
215
00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:01,434
Although, I wouldn't be surprised
if she's in line to meet Ray Liotta.
216
00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,456
Yeah, somethin' tells me
she's not crazy about me.
217
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:07,154
Yeah, something tells me that,
too, and it was her.
218
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:10,480
That doesn't matter,
I was actually hoping to talk to you.
219
00:10:10,560 --> 00:10:11,755
- Really?
- Yeah.
220
00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:14,157
You've done a terrific job
with Inflaminex.
221
00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,916
We're always on the lookout
for great sales people.
222
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,400
I think we could make you happy.
223
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,834
Oh, thanks, but I'm pretty happy.
224
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:22,160
- I could be more happy.
- Tell it to your shrink, Karen.
225
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:26,835
Hey, Howie, everything okay?
226
00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:28,115
Yeah, everything's great.
227
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,513
I was just wondering
if we had any large barbecue tongs.
228
00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,035
Uh, bottom left drawer.
You guys grilling?
229
00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,589
No, just playing games with the kids.
230
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,315
Why do you need tongs?
231
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:40,516
Love you, too. Bye.
232
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,656
I bet Michael grabs it before Halley.
233
00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:44,750
Not a chance.
234
00:10:44,840 --> 00:10:47,435
Halley's a year older,
you know she's gonna get it first.
235
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,035
I just think he wants it more!
Come on!
236
00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:51,576
Come on, you got this!
You got this, Michael!
237
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:54,399
Grab it! Grab it, Halley!
I believe in you.
238
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,551
That was so, so close!
Just keep on trying!
239
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,350
Hey, you guys wanna make
this more interesting?
240
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:03,674
By establishing a double-blind protocol,
so we have a foundation to publish? Yes.
241
00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,310
Look, here's my card.
Maybe we can get a drink this weekend?
242
00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:12,280
Oh. I don't know. I'm pretty busy,
I have to inventory all the giveaways.
243
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,073
Hey! Beat it! Shoo!
244
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,680
- So what did he want?
- Nothing.
245
00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:18,760
He offered her a job.
246
00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:20,917
No one likes a tattletale, Karen!
247
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:23,637
So what's up, traitor?
248
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,949
Damn it, Karen!
249
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,234
Okay, you wanna engage the babies...
250
00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:30,595
The subjects.
251
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,559
- The babies.
- All right. Fine. The babies.
252
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,154
Baby-A and Baby-B.
253
00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,840
"Engage them for a minute
and take note of their reactions."
254
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,877
There's something
familiar about all this.
255
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,110
Okay, go.
256
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:46,396
Hello, baby.
Are you having a pleasant day?
257
00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:49,791
Oh, my God...
This is my entire childhood.
258
00:11:51,880 --> 00:11:53,633
Leonard, Leonard,
you're tainting my data.
259
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,757
It's, like, word for word!
260
00:11:57,320 --> 00:11:58,356
How much time is left?
261
00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,909
- Thirty-five seconds.
- Oh, really? He's not reacting at all.
262
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,834
Sheldon, he's a baby.
That's not how you talk to him, okay?
263
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,115
Just watch.
264
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,600
Hey.
265
00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:11,193
Halley. Who's your favorite uncle?
266
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,431
Uncle Koo.
267
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:17,000
I got a dud, let's switch.
268
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,234
Keep trying. It's for science.
269
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,071
Is that all I was to her?
Just an experiment?
270
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,471
Michael. Michael,
you're making me look bad.
271
00:12:26,560 --> 00:12:29,234
Hey, interact with me.
He grabbed my finger.
272
00:12:29,560 --> 00:12:31,756
Oh! He's smiling. I'm doing it.
273
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:36,113
- That's time.
- Aw, really? Can we do one more?
274
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,590
No, I think these guys need
to get some food.
275
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:41,798
By pushing a lever at the end
of an obstacle course that we design?
276
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,791
No, by opening the door to a hangar
and letting the airplane fly in.
277
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,556
Although, Sheldon,
maybe it could be an experiment.
278
00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,112
Are you suggesting
we color code their food,
279
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:54,839
so we can examine their diapers later?
280
00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:58,755
Sure.
281
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,714
These diapers are gonna be full of data!
282
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:08,035
Never thought I would see Sheldon
enjoying himself around babies so much.
283
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,633
Yeah, how about that?
284
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:14,873
So, he just happened to stumble upon
a book about experimenting with them
285
00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,032
the same day we were hanging out
with Howard's kids?
286
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,080
Yep, don't overthink it.
287
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:28,479
Oh, my God. At sleep-away camp,
my cabin was called Control Group.
288
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,672
I can't believe
you took his business card.
289
00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:38,911
I can't believe
we're still talking about this.
290
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,151
He handed it to me,
what was I supposed to do?
291
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,199
Hand it back to him, and tell him
to stick it where the sun don't shine.
292
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,794
You are not serious.
293
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:48,234
Serious as the hepatitis
294
00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,915
their cholesterol medication
gave thousands of people.
295
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:53,760
Did it?
296
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:55,120
Maybe.
297
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:58,632
You're not really
considering this, are you?
298
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:00,598
I don't know. It's kind of flattering.
299
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,356
Oh, please.
He's just using you to get to me.
300
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,037
Or he's trying to get to me,
because I'm really good at my job.
301
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,635
Don't be so naive.
They're our number one competitor.
302
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:13,873
They have a rival drug coming out with
a name I wish we thought of, Forsootha.
303
00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:17,554
It's got "soothe" right in it,
how did we miss that?
304
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:21,114
You know, our brand recognition
is three times higher than theirs.
305
00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:24,079
And I did that with a stupid
product name and no assistant.
306
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,995
You only have this job
because I gave it to you.
307
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:29,993
You know who else was begging you
to head up their sales team? Nobody.
308
00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:32,870
Well, you know who's
begging me now? Danny.
309
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,839
Can't believe this is how you thank me.
310
00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:39,312
I thanked you by thanking you.
And I sent you that fancy box of pears!
311
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,033
What am I supposed
to do with 20 pears,
312
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:42,679
have a pear party?
313
00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,792
Ooh! What a juicy pear.
314
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:53,995
Where are the kids?
315
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,590
Oh. Sheldon's helping Howard
give them a bath.
316
00:14:56,680 --> 00:14:57,557
Hmm.
317
00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:01,077
So you really think you can trick
Sheldon into liking babies?
318
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,312
I slept with him, I married him.
You wanna bet against me?
319
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,275
You were right, Amy.
320
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:15,195
There were so many valuable experiments
to perform on them during bath time.
321
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:17,875
You don't say.
322
00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,953
I do. I tested their object permanence
with a rubber duck,
323
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,760
and we took a run at Archimedes'
water displacement,
324
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,071
but that went right over their heads.
325
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:29,936
Well, I'm glad you had a good day.
326
00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,633
I did. It's so funny,
327
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,952
we did all these experiments on them
and they didn't even notice.
328
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,236
I know, I was worried
it would be obvious, but it wasn't.
329
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,600
I guess we should go
and let Howard get them ready for bed.
330
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,990
Yeah, do you think he'd let us come back
and do some more?
331
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,936
Maybe we could take them to the park?
332
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:53,954
Smart. There'll be more babies.
It's a bigger sample size.
333
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,040
Where did Leonard go?
334
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,474
Just tell me the truth, Mother.
335
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:08,950
Was my whole childhood
just one big experiment?
336
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,269
Of course not, dear.
337
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,875
It was thousands of small experiments.
338
00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:18,316
So, that's all I was to you,
a test subject?
339
00:16:18,880 --> 00:16:22,396
No, you were my baby,
and I found you fascinating.
340
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,440
Really?
341
00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:27,672
Yes, watching you develop,
tracking your progress.
342
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,912
I know I'm not the warmest of parents,
but it was time we spent together.
343
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:37,233
And honestly, those are some
of my fondest memories.
344
00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:40,750
When did you stop?
345
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:44,033
Oh. I can't tell you.
The experiment isn't over.
346
00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:51,799
Zangen's a fine company.
They got a couple of good drugs,
347
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:53,837
but we control 60% of the market.
348
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,800
Hell, commissions
on just our fungal creams
349
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,433
will put you in a new Mercedes.
350
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:00,955
Danny. Danny, look at me.
Does this face sell fungal creams?
351
00:17:02,680 --> 00:17:05,070
No. This face is cholesterol drugs
and above.
352
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:08,480
Playing hard to get, huh?
353
00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,872
No one's ever accused me of that before.
354
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,720
Look, why don't I just give you
a number and see what you think?
355
00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:18,158
Ooh. Are you gonna write it on a napkin
and slide it over to me?
356
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,791
No, I was just gonna say it.
357
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,155
Oh.
358
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,496
Do you want me to write it
on a napkin and slide it over to you?
359
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:26,520
Yeah.
360
00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:28,196
You got it.
361
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,874
Danny, you rat bastard!
362
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,960
What? I'm just making your friend
an offer.
363
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,435
Yeah, he's writing it on a napkin,
like in the movies.
364
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,509
That's not an offer.
Do you know how amazing this girl is?
365
00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,795
Aw. You think I'm amazing?
366
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:44,916
Stay out of this!
367
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:47,077
I'm serious.
368
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:50,437
Not only is she a hell of a salesperson,
she's the hardest worker I've ever seen.
369
00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,536
I know. That's why I'm trying
to steal her from you.
370
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,336
Well, then, you're gonna have to do
a lot better than this,
371
00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,880
because I promise you, I'm not gonna
let her go without a fight.
372
00:17:56,960 --> 00:17:58,599
You do not want that. She's a biter.
373
00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,800
Look, just think about it.
374
00:18:02,760 --> 00:18:05,559
You know, I don't have to.
Thanks, but I'm happy where I am.
375
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:06,960
Let's go.
376
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:11,696
Can I just see what
he wrote on the napkin?
377
00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:12,720
What napkin?
378
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,120
You know, spending time
with Michael and Halley today
379
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:26,113
really made me think
about our future children.
380
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:29,280
Huh.
381
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,034
What an interesting
and completely unforeseen development.
382
00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:35,359
What are you thinking?
383
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:37,477
Well, I just can't decide.
384
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:41,440
Either five sets of triplets
or three sets of quintuplets.
385
00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,720
You know what, it doesn't matter
as long as they're healthy...
386
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,760
and divisible by three.
387
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:50,994
That's a lot of babies, Sheldon.
388
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:55,314
Oh. Only for humans. For frogs,
it's just a drop in the bucket.
389
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:58,874
Well, I'm sorry I'm not a frog.
390
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,510
Oh. Don't feel bad, Amy.
You're good enough for me.
31505
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