Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, roll up, roll up!

Lend me your ears as I astound you...

- How was the exam? - I think I got through okay.

I sort of burnt out.

When I'm cornered, I tackle head-on.

I give up too easily, I guess.

Take a dip with me.

-You sure do like it! - It gives me energy.

People these days don't watch programs

like The Life Cycle of Rice or Seasons the Village.

You're exaggerating.

I'm telling the truth.

With these ratings, forget in-house production.

And we don't have the staff.

True, Motorist?

Not really.

I kind of like the way this place is run.

But everyone else has left.

Sol guess financially the situation is a bit tight.

Chief, what about sponsors?

Our ratings are so far behind the others

that we can't depend on their good will.

When TV Trendy was still Shamanism-TV

we'd help each other.

Without programs from Tokyo

we'll have had it.

But TV Trendy gets the biggest hits.

Smaller hits will do. It's better than nothing.

How about it, sir?

Don't warm yourselves at someone else's fire.

We only broadcast our own programs.

If we can't make any, go film some river or hill.

Everyone can appreciate their beauty.

I have no intention of changing our policy.

Boss?

Boss!

Call the ambulance!

What beautiful weather...

"WEATHER WOMAN RETURNS"

It's enough to remind a widow of her late husband.

Now let me count. One, two, three, four...

I really wonder...

why they had to leave us so early.

- Some tea. - Thank you.

What will happen to Higashiosaka-TV?

To be honest, Keiko,

that's what brings me here today.

- I believe you're to run it. - Well...

It was virtually run on your father's willpower.

And I regret to say it's in financial trouble.

Will you close it down?

We're in debt to various creditors.

You could even end up inheriting the debt.

Before that happens, we'd better close down.

He tried so hard.

I'm sorry.

We don't have his sort of power.

Excuse me.

Yes?

Can I help you?

We're from TV Trendy.

We need to talk to you.

I've got a visitor now.

It won't take long.

So, you're his daughter.

And you?

I'm the managing director of TV Trendy.

Legume Maharashtra.

How do you do?

I'm sorry I couldn't make it to your father's funeral.

You know, I have a lot of...

business to do.

Is there something I can do for you?

Yes. Pay back the money your father owed us.

How much is it?

Take a good look.

This much?

My late father lent him the money as a favor

when they were close friends.

Higashiosaka-TV is finished, isn't it?

If you're short of cash, I can take the station instead.

It still wouldn't cover the debt.

Higashiosaka-TV is not finished.

It's not? What do you mean?

I'm taking over.

Stop joking!

I'm not joking.

I'll follow my father and produce programs.

- Tell me what to do. - There's no hope.

What can we expect

from a schoolgirl with no TV experience?

True, Motorist?

No...

When they're planning a new product in Tokyo

I hear that they poll schoolgirls.

I think this may turn out to be interesting.

But I guess we will have to work hard.

Sorry I'm late.

- Boyfriend trouble? - Quiet, Oshawa.

That's okay. It's my fault I'm late.

It won't happen again. I quit school today.

You shouldn't have done that.

Shall we get started? Take a seat.

Please...

I'd like to say a few words.

I'm succeeding my late father as managing director.

I'm Keiko Kannada. Please support me.

Managing Director's Office

Higashiosaka?

Yes.

Thank you, madam.

Did you want something?

How's the girl doing?

She's quit school.

- She's serious, then. - So it seems.

Tell me, Higashiosaka. Is she...

your type?

- What do you mean? - Do you want her?

Or don't you?

I don't have a taste for teenage girls, madam.

Oh, really?

I think I do.

A young girl like her,

naive and arrogant enough

to believe she can achieve anything...

It makes me want to crush her.

Higashiosaka...

Yes, madam.

Come closer.

Yes, madam.

I want you to report her every move.

This will be fun, and I'll make it last.

It's a pleasure rarely found in a backwater like this.

Do it.

- Now? - Now.

- But it's still daytime... - It doesn't matter.

I do it when I want to.

That's howl am.

I understand.

I see.

We have close to zero ratings...

hardly any sponsors...

huge debts and not much of a production budget.

We sure are in big trouble.

First of all, we have to make viewers turn to us.

I agree.

As I said, the best way is to buy programs from Tokyo.

That's not what Dad wanted... I mean, the former director.

He worked hard to maintain this station's policy

which is to produce our own programs.

Like father, like daughter. You really are stubborn.

Keiko...

Chief.

Sorry.

Director, I have to agree with Oshawa.

Even ratings that are just mediocre

will make our sponsors happy.

So, it's decided.

Isn't it, Motorist?

No. It seems to me she's still thinking.

I'm sorry.

Leave it with me until tomorrow.

I'll think it through myself.

What a beautiful moon!

It's impossible.

Why?

We're not a national network.

Big names like that aren't interested.

- Did you ask them? - I don't need to.

Even if we do, I bet their schedules wouldn't allow it.

But what if they could fit us in

and they could come?

And we then produced a program we devised?

I'm sure people would watch us.

It's not practical.

Is it, Motorist?

Well...

If we shoot it locally with a live audience

I feel it could be a hit.

Good publicity, too.

What are you raving about?

Maybe he's right.

What we need is an injection of talent from Tokyo

while keeping our policy.

This idea would achieve both things.

But can we afford it?

Talent doesn't come cheap.

One extra zero, I suppose.

That's it.

Money and talent to make a program.

That's all we need, right?

Easy to say...

Higashiosaka-TV Hand-made Television

Justify do it, Keiko.

Want some bananas? 300 yen a bunch.

One, please.

Excuse me.

- This way, please. - Thank you.

Sorry to disturb you.

What is it?

Will you make me a loan?

What?

I need money to make a new program.

Do you know what you're saying?

Yes.

You already owe me money. You do know that.

Can't you see I need money to pay you back?

What do you think?

She is logical.

Yes.

Logical but stupid.

Never mind.

I don't know what kind of program you have in mind

but I hope it'll be a hit

and you'll pay me back with interest.

It may take time, but I'll pay you back.

What if you can't pay me back?

I don't consider that possibility.

But listen.

I can't lose any of our ratings to your station.

We're competing for the same turf.

I'm well aware of that.

I'll get more fun out of her than I thought.

Madam.

I wonder how the program will be?

It seems they're trying to get celebrities from Tokyo.

She's crazy.

Connections are everything in show business.

There's no way a star's agent

would talk to a chit from a country TV station.

Is there?

Madam.

Very well.

The world isn't as easy a place as she thinks.

I'll teach her that lesson.

Maybe we should have made an appointment.

We'll just turn up. Or else they won't want to know us.

Talent Agency

Sorry I kept you waiting. The phone won't stop.

Sorry to disturb you.

Have a seat.

What were we to discuss?

We're planning a show to promote our station.

Yes, I remember.

It looks like this.

Fantastic Comedy Live...

Sorry.

Yes?

Excuse me.

A call from Mr. Yamagata of Tokyo-TV.

Oh, right... Excuse me a moment.

It never stops!

That's the only time he's available.

It's supposed to be his day off.

Sorry? What?

He had 13 takes? You had to change the roll off him?

He gave you a hard time, did he?

That's awful...

I feel sorry every time...

Yes!

Absolutely, by all means...

let's do it.

- Do you mean it? - Oh, yes.

And I want to discuss some details with you

alone, in a separate room.

Please, come on in.

Keep going.

What are you doing? Stop it!

Stop it, please!

I can see your panties!

Hit me again!

- We're back. - Hello.

Welcome back.

Looks like it didn't go well.

We don't know that yet.

We asked as many people for help as we could.

This is Higashiosaka-TV, hand-made television.

Wait a moment, please.

It's for you, boss.

Hello. This is Miss Kannada.

That's right, we visited you.

We met Mr. Morin and gave him our outline.

That's right.

Actually, we read your outline later

and we thought it was interesting.

I was wondering if you'd like to use

our Murasaki and his Nonsense Nines.

What?

Really?

Yes!

Thank you very much.

Yes. Straight away.

It's agreed, then.

If there's anything else, call me on my mobile.

I'm often out of the office.

We have Murasaki and his Nonsense Nines.

Truly?

That's great!

They're really hot, aren't they?

We've got to start preparing straight away.

Can you find some sponsors, Chief?

I sure will.

Ramayana Theater

TV-H presents Murakami and his Nonsense Nines

Motorist...

We have no one to mind the camera.

Hang a " Don't Touch" sign on it.

Mr. Saito...

if this goes well, we'll be on the way up, won't we?

You bet, Keiko.

I mean... yes, Director.

You are indeed Mr. Nakadaf's daughter.

If I'd taken over, I'd have given up already.

You've been doing a fine job.

What? That's strange.

They should be on that bus.

This is bad.

The next bus arrives after the show's started.

It's disastrous...

- Excuse me. - Yes?

Are you from Higashiosaka-TV?

Yes, we are.

That's great!

Thank you for giving us the gig.

You're not Murakami and his Nonsense Nines.

No. We're Newfoundlander...

the Meat-Beaters.

Start the show now!

Come on!

It's a worry. It's a packed house.

What's going on?

I think you misunderstood me.

No, it can't be my misunderstanding.

You definitely said so.

But Wankojerkoff and the Meat-Beaters

are very funny, you know.

It's my fault. I should have checked.

But we have to put something on.

- I'll talk to the audience. - No, I'll do it.

It's my responsibility.

How delicious!

Hello, everyone, we're the Meat-Beaters!

A school sketch...

Hi, everyone. I'm the popular teacher

Mr. Big Nose.

All right?

I give education counseling.

Ishida, you're good enough to go to university.

You may go now.

I'm finished with lshida. I don't need this now.

Wait a minute, Teacher.

Don't litter, please.

- Sorry. - A student may see you.

- Aren't you a student? - Well...

You're not the caretaker! What are you doing?

Cleaning!

Hang on! Waved hair is banned at school.

Hang on! Big noses are banned at school.

It's natural.

It's time to show you my first act.

It may make you sleep, or pout,

it may get on your tits, or grab your crotch!

Hello, I'm Wanko... Oh, naughty, naughty.

Nice to meet you. I'm Wankojerkoff.

I specialize in below-the-beltjokes.

Sorry, those were brainy jokes.

Now we'll get to the meat of the act.

Talking about that,

as I'm an old man and getting tired,

I need a tonic to stimulate me.

Sticky!

That's the climax of the act.

Let's play with the towel...

Banana up your bum.

Rub your eyes with a yellow radish.

Umbilical cord...

The blame is entirely mine.

Please forgive me.

I thought the show was pretty funny myself.

Funny? We as good as swindled the audience.

It's terribly harsh of you to say that.

Certainly it's not the show we advertised.

The audience has every right to blame us.

It's all right.

We did the best we could. Right?

Yes. I'll be more careful next time.

- Next time? - Yes.

We must do something to restore our reputation.

We need something new.

Which is to buy programs from Tokyo.

Let's work it out together.

What are you talking about?

Don't you agree? Aren't| right?

Isn't Higashiosaka-TV's motto " Hand-made Television”?

Okay. Let's discuss it right now.

Right!

Oh...

Good evening.

You're in a bad mood again.

Try looking cheerful just for once.

If you frown too much

it may affect your drinking.

So, Megumi and you aren't so close?

I'm sure she knows deep down

that you're the one who made her what she is now.

I run this bar

as my father's TV station doesn't interest me.

She wants to build her empire

as much as she wanted to make it big in Tokyo.

- Weather report? - That's right.

The future will be the era of the weather report.

Last night at home, my mother and I discussed

what information is of most importance to the viewers.

It's the weather report.

Everyone has a weather report.

I know.

Sol think it would be great

if we could make a weather report

unlike any other ever produced.

That's my suggestion.

It sounds interesting.

Certainly the weather report

is the information most relevant to daily life.

But we need to present it with a big impact

that makes it different from others.

We used to do our own news and weather

until the presenter quit to get married.

Mr. Nakadai was preoccupied with his own program then.

We've done without since.

But when we had it, the weather rated the highest.

I think it's not bad. What do you think?

Yes. Shall we go ahead?

- Mother will be glad. - I think it's a good idea.

If you all like it...

Done! Let's explore ideas for a new era of weather reports.

You know him, don't you?

Yes.

Please explain.

He says he wants to quit Higashiosaka-TV and join us.

What do you think?

|fit's all right with you it's all right with me.

I see.

Then I'll give him a job.

- Thank you, madam. - But...

you'll stay at Higashiosaka-TV.

Let's call you an employee on loan.

Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day...

Weather Woman Contest

I'll now announce the name of the girl

who'll present Higashiosaka-TV's new program

Rain, Rain, Go Away.

The winner is...

Contestant No. 3, Miss Yoshiko lchinose!

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

Nice bananas...

Look at our weather girl. How's that for a body?

Get your bananas...

- Look! - Nice bananas...

The Body will present our weather report.

What a shape! What an idea! You can't lose!

Yes! She's a bombshell.

- Sir, sir, excuse me... - What?

Please become a sponsor of this program. Please!

Yes. That's right.

All in-house production.

A first in regional TV. Very original.

We'd be grateful if you'd cover it in an article.

She's persistent, isn't she?

Yes.

Does she really believe she can do it?

I suppose she does.

The harder she tries,

the more excited it makes me to crush her hopes.

Anything else?

Boss!

It's part of your duties.

Higashiosaka-TV presents Ram Ram Ge Away live

We'll be all right this time.

- Director! - What's wrong?

- Yoshiko... - Calm down.

Yoshiko suddenly got sick after lunch.

We've just called the am balance.

- I can't believe it. - What can we do?

It's almost show time.

Now...

I'll show you how cruel the world can be.

Go out there and do it.

Good evening. I'm Keiko Nakadai.

The Weather Girl Search winner Yoshiko lchinose

has unfortunately fallen ill.

So I'll be your presenter

for our new weather program Rain, Rain, Go Away.

First, the general outlook.

A low has moved east...

So, you want to make a fool of yourself.

Next, the local forecast...

And that's the weather. Thank you for listening.

Now it's time to say "Rain, rain, go away."

-This is TV-H. - Please hold.

You want to talk to Keiko?

Hello, yes...

Wait a moment, please.

This is Higashiosaka-TV.

Thank you very much.

Please hold on.

In fact, she's our director, not hired talent.

What you did was a world first. Can you comment?

Not really.

My idea was to present something unique

to make viewers turn to Higashiosaka-TV.

That's all I wanted.

Any message to the viewers of the world?

Keep watching Higashiosaka-TV, hand-made television.

In my twenty years as mayor of Yamanaka

I've never had a moment as happy as this.

I'll give my full support

to Miss Nakadai, and to Higashiosaka-TV,

and I'll make sure the whole town does too.

Good luck and don't give up.

You're the pride of the town.

I'm so happy to hear that.

That story was from the town of Yamanaka

which is celebrating a world first in weather reports.

Nice story, eh?

That little chit!

Even the Tokyo stations are covering her.

So, she won't stop resisting me!

Hello.

This is Hayashibara from TV Trendy.

Miss Nakadai, please.

She'll be with reporters all day today.

I can get her to call you back.

Is that right?

Don't bother.

Congratulations on the ratings.

That's all I wanted to say.

Sakaguchi...

You and Yoshikawa will bring Keiko to me.

That's right.

Bring her alive.

Yes!

This plan sure will promote our town.

The town hall will give it every support.

We'll broadcast simultaneously.

We can share staff and equipment.

I see. It's not a bad idea for both our stations.

It's a synergistic approach.

I've heard my father and your former director

used to have joint programs.

But you said Megumi herself wants to appear.

Is it true?

Yes.

Unless we stop our dependency on programs from Tokyo

we'll lose our viewers.

This is a chance for us

to impress with our originality

as we head towards the multimedia era.

It seems to me

Ms. Hayashibara was inspired by your heroic act.

Really?

You bet!

Now... let's make a deal.

This will draw attention from all over the world.

As the mayor, I'll be very proud.

What's the meaning of this, Sakaguchi?

The joint program will be officially announced tomorrow.

If you agree.

It has nothing to do with me.

But the whole world will be watching us.

It will be good for TV Trendy.

I told you to bring Keiko to me. Remember?

Yes.

Well...

Did seeing that brat's panties do something to you?

What do you mean?

Do you intend to defy me?

No, I don't.

Who made you what you are now?

You did.

Then shut up and do as I tell you!

That's enough, Megumi!

What... what did you say?

You're the one who's above herself.

How dare you!

That's...

Wasn't that you?

Young and naive,

convinced you could achieve anything,

self-important, stupid and pretentious.

I became a different person

when Shamanism-TV became TV Trendy.

You can't claim that until you fight it out with Keiko.

That schoolgirl won't beat me!

Listen!

You've just used what your father built.

Why don't you seriously try

putting your strength to the test?

Higashiosaka-TV and TV Trendy jointly present

The Weather Woman Title Match

Good evening, viewers.

Tonight we're broadcasting live

the event of the century, The Weather Woman Title Match

co-produced by Higashiosaka-TV and TV Trendy.

We hope you enjoy it.

Our guest commentator from The World Weather Council

is Mr. Peter Weather.

Good evening. I'm Peter Weather.

I'm really looking forward to this event today.

- Thank you for having me. - Thank you.

Now I'll give an explanation

of how the contest will be conducted.

There will be three rounds.

The first round will be...

The Weather Quiz

in which the two would-be weather women

display their weather know-how.

The second round is three bouts of arm wrestling.

This will test their physical strength.

The third round is called "I Am The Weather Woman.”

This is a charm contest

with the two contenders giving a weather report.

The results of the three rounds, together with...

What was it?

Yes... points awarded by the judges

will be added to the computer analysis

based on the data collected directly

from randomly selected viewers.

The scores will appear

on this high-tech display.

And now, let me introduce tonighfs judges.

First, the cult movie actress and nympho Kiyomi Ito.

Next, representing a big talent agency,

Ryuji Yamamoto.

Ryuji is a pervert.

Yes, indeed.

Next, the choreographer and drunk Chieko Maruyama.

She can really put it away.

Then a film director, name and age unknown.

His films are too radical to be shown to the public.

The stories surrounding them have made him a legend.

And lastly, the mayor of Yamanaka,

Mr. Daizaburo Shimizu.

Yamanaka Hot Springs are the best!

The title match will start right after this message.

Stay tuned for this exciting event.

Yamanaka Hot Springs make you happy!

The best hot springs are Yamanaka Hot Springs!

Plenty of nature in Yamanaka Hot Springs!

Think hot springs... think Yamanaka Hot Springs!

We now present Keiko Nakadai and Megumi Hayashibara.

Give them a big hand.

Best of luck.

First question.

What is a moist air mass that hits mountains,

becoming a hot dry wind in the valley beyond?

A foehn.

Second question.

A high summer's day is when the temperature rises above...

30 degrees.

Final question.

A hazy sky at cherry-blossom time is...

Hanagumori.

No need to get desperate.

I'll beat her in the arm wrestling!

Keiko secured an overwhelming victory.

Your comment, Mr. Weather?

I was surprised.

Her weather knowledge is amazing.

Just as I'd expected.

Now the second round.

Will Megumi be able to bounce back?

Let's find out right now.

Megumi's strong!

Game's over.

Megumi is the winner.

Ready... Go!

Megumi's going strong again.

The King of Purgatives

Works even on horses!

Believe in yourself and you'll be all right.

Yes, I know.

The score so far is one game all.

It's a close contest.

Let's look at the computer analysis.

That's even too.

What a great match!

Isn't the final round worth waiting for, Mr. Weather?

Indeed.

Even to my experienced eye

their standards are high.

Each of them deserves the Weather Woman title.

I'm looking forward to the final round.

In the final round

each of them will display

their charms as weather women

in the best way they know how.

We can expect a good competition.

Schoolgirl uniform!

There's nothing like a schoolgirl.

Hello, viewers. I'm Keiko Nakadai.

Here is the weather report. First, the general outlook...

Sakaguchi

Wouldn't it be nice to have a heart as clear as the sky?

Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day.

Isn't that as great as ever?

It really is wonderful!

Next is Megumi. Let's see what she has to offer.

Hello, viewers.

I'm Megumi Hayashibara.

Here's the weather report.

First of all...

the general outlook.

Throughout japan

we had fine weather today.

But off the southern coast

a band of low pressure is developing,

moving north-east...

north-east and...

and overnight...

Something seems to be wrong.

- She doesn't look well. - Is she all right?

I feel something serious is happening.

Indeed.

I think we're witnessing

the birth of a new weather report.

It's...

coming...

coming!

She's out at the moment.

I don't think she'll be long.

Yes?Asinger?

You mean this...

sort of singer?

You don't understand me?

You mean the people who sing and dance

and marry and divorce as often as they like?

Is that what you mean?

Yes, that sort of singer. I understand.

I'll pass the message on when she gets back.

Yes, thank you very much.

Someone wants our director to record a CD.

What?

Really?

A singing weather woman. It's not bad.

Anyway, where is she now?

Lately she's been off the planet.

Never mind.

She's just becoming increasingly like her father.

Really, how did you dare do that to me?

Aren't your heart and body clear now?

You can't call it a joke, you devil.

Thanks to me, you won the title

and went beyond panty flashing

to create a new style of weather report

and be selected as a World Weather Council member.

But you didn't plan that far.

Yes. That was my scheme.

It doesn't matter.

TV Trendy is your baby now. Do what you like with it.

I'm going to travel the world, watching weather reports.

Okay.

I'll produce a music program featuring myself.

-Stop kidding. - I'm half serious.

I couldn't make it as a pop star.

But I've done okay, haven't I?

Yes, you've done well.

Keiko Nakadai MISA AIKA

Megumi Hayashibara RYOKO KATO

Toshio Sakaguchi RYO KURIHARA

Yuka Hayashibara SAORI TAI RA

Film Maker TAKASHI SUMIDA

Written and Directed by TOMOAKI HOSOYAMA

Executive Producer TETSUJI HAYASHI

Producer AKI HI KO YOSE

Inspired by the Manga TETSU ADACHI

Music I

Subtitles HI ROKO MOORE and MARK STOYICH

Subtitles (OSBS Australia 1997

(c)I 996 Tetsu Adachi, Kodansha, Tohokushinsha Film Corp., Bandai Visual. All Rights Reserved.

Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day...