Original subtitles

IN THE COUNTRIES OF THE WEST THOSE BORN BETWEEN THE END OF THE ‘60S AND THE EARLY ‘80S

BELONG TO WHAT IS COMMONLY KNOWN AS GENERATION X

MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WITHOUT POINTS OF REFERENCE OR CERTAINTIES ABOUT THEIR FUTURE

TODAY, THE LAST OF THAT GENERATION ARE IN THEIR 30S

AND IN SOME COUNTRIES THEY HAVE BEEN RENAMED AS THE “EXPENDABLES”

THIS IS THE (TRUE) STORY OF THREE OF THEM

THE INTERVIEW

A FEW MONTHS AFTER X HOUR

"Monaco Matin"

"Made in Italy comes to Monaco.

The Principality is going to provide the setting

for the Ad to launch a new Italian car manufacturer.

It will be shot by a first-time director."

THE MODEL, THE BABY AND SULKY BEAR

MONDAY, 11 FEBRUARY 2013

6 DAYS TO X HOUR

- Stop it ! - What are you doing with my stuff ?

- What is it ? - Lenses for my phone. Leave them.

- Don't touch the glass ! - Move back.

Stop it !

Tomorrow, go to the Film Commission to sort out the permits.

Excuse me, Saverio, so we definitely don't have an office in France ?

It would have helped, having a base there...

You answer him, production man !

Were you unloved as a child ?

I'm trying to understand if there's a sensible reason

why you need to film me with your phone while I eat my breakfast.

No, no...hang on, I'll explain.

It's just that I want to document everything to do with my first job.

- I get it. There's just one thing... - Yeah ?

I don't know who to fire first, you or him !

Come on...

As you can see, I've prepared a timetable...

Ah, there's a juice as well !

We'll start tomorrow morning, look for locations...

Hello ? Hang on, I can't hear a thing. Well, I made the payment...

He'll be right back. He won't be long.

- I didn't even hear it ring.. - Maybe he had it on vibrate.

- Let's get a move on ! - Come on. - Get your case.

I'm filming. Help me ! Then he complains about the framing !

- Do we want to miss it ? - No !

- You're slow ! - Take this for me.

Come this way, the light's good.

- Bugger the light ! Shift ! - Get in.

You closed the door ! OK, I'll come round.

- Right, Fiumicino Airport. - Are you coming as well ?

- Is it a problem ? - No...

I'll come with you. I'll get the taxi, pay for breakfast...

- Thank you. - You not pleased ?

Yeah, of course.

Right, the Client has reduced our time.

So we're shooting from Monday. Did you sign for the kitty ?

Yeah, of course.

An office would've been handy, though.

Come on, a bit of enthusiasm !

We've got a lot to do and not much time, like everyone,

it's the same thing for the taxi driver !

What are they paying us, Livio ? What are they paying us for the Ad ?

- Half a million. - Half a million !

These are people with money, real money ! 500,000 euros !

All right...obviously we don't have the most important things,

the model and the baby. Luckily, Joelle will deal with that !

What's Joelle's surname ?

Joelle...Joelle Bernard, a dear friend, really good casting director.

First, she's French. The French do things.

No Twitter, but they managed to chop the King's head off !

Second, she's as sneaky as a snake and simple as a turtledove !

Be careful, both of you.

- I get it. Make a note, Livio. - What do you get ?

Hello ? He's arrived ? Give me ten minutes and I'll be there as well.

Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.

Listen, we need to go out the way a bit, the Square Coliseum.

- All right. - Excuse me, Saverio...

If we do that, we'll be late getting to the airport.

Livio, don't you start as well, eh !

If I say you'll make it, you'll make it. You'll be on time !

Of course you're not on time !

You brought half your house, like a pair of poofs !

Leave your bags in the car, the driver will take them to the office.

Hand luggage, speedy check-in... buy some underwear in Nice.

- All my clothes... - Look at me !

Remember who you're talking to ! Look and learn.

- How much is it ? - Have I to take the bags back ?

- Yes, to the office. - 90.

Right, make it 100...here you go.

You expect me to have change of 500 at this time of day ?

Livio, you pay from the kitty.

I'll be there on Sunday afternoon, with a really pissed-off crew !

Sunday is X HOUR.

500,000 euros !

Don't cock it up !

You know what I think ? He was faking with us, the phone calls as well.

He used our taxi to go where he was going and he got his breakfast !

OK, but have you got 100 euros ?

What are you doing with that toy ?

It's not a toy, it's a rag doll. Sulky Bear is coming with us, OK ?

I've got 40 euros, what do you need it for ?

- What do you mean ? Pay the taxi. - I'm sorry, use the kitty !

Where do you think that banknote of Saverio's came from ? The kitty.

The kitty Saverio left me is all 500-euro notes !

Stop it with that !

You made me leave my pants, but you brought your tripod !

I can't do the whole video blog in handheld, people would vomit !

- Do you know what she's like ? - I'm getting her photo on the net.

So you're able to film and surf the net with that thing ?

Yeah, I can do everything, film forwards, backwards, everything...

- Her photo ? - Yeah.

- What's she like ? - Come here.

Come on, let me see ! No ! She's doing the casting ?

- Everyone has a talent. - Yeah, hers is wasted, though.

No, what did he say ? As slippery as a snake and as willing as a turtledove...

We're not going to find her on youporn ?

- Youporn ? - Sorry.

You're predictable, I thought you'd have said redtube, badyoyo,

pornorabbit, extremetube, xhamster...

Dario and Livio ?

Er...nice to meet you, Livio Nesi, production manager, Liberty Film,

and this is... Come here. This is Dario Cervi, the Ad's director.

- Hi, pleased to meet you, Joelle. - Nice to meet you.

- Eh, yeah, it's all my stuff... - He's like that...

- Shall we go ? - Yes, I'll just get all my stuff...

Yeah, we brought everything, really...apart from pants...but...

- Apart from pants... - In the taxi...we left them...no room...

Guys, you're looking great there.

Joelle, can you show me your left profile ?

You're kidding ?

Yes.

Sit here.

When we land, we'll pick up the car they hired for us from Rome

and we'll spend the night here, in Mentone, Menton in French.

It's about 40 minutes, not any more from Nice.

Guys, are you with me ? Guys !

The French Riviera Film Commission is here

on Boulevard de Ca...Cacarage...

- Boulevard Carabacel - That's it !

I know where it is.

Can I put this in your coat pocket ? There, thanks.

Why ? What am I meant to do ?

No, nothing. Leave it there.

It's to record what you say for my video blog.

What video blog ?

Forget it. He's obsessed with this thing. No, stop it now !

Put it in your pocket.

Yeah, before casting I did a bit of everything, I even acted for a bit.

I told you she was an actress.

Yeah, but tell her what kind of actress you meant.

No, never mind, Dario. Nothing.

- What are you saying ? - He wanted to tell you something.

No, I didn't want to tell you anything.

I know Nice well because I worked in a Circus

that toured Provence. That was all.

I did a thing where you walk on...on...

What's the word ? Stults...

- Stilts ? - Stilts !

- Ah, stilt woman... - Stilt walker.

Stilt walker.

Go on, say something.

Joelle ! Try for the audio again. Say something !

- Can you hear me ? - It works ! I can hear you !

What are you doing ? What did you spend on all this stuff ?

I spent everything I earned in two years doing storyboards.

You're an artist ?

I'll show you what I did for the Ad. You can tell me what you think.

- Was it worth it ? - What ?

Buying all this stuff...

Ask me after the Ad.

It's off to a good start this Ad !

Sorry, there's a problem.

The secretary in Rome gave your details instead of mine.

I don't know how it happened. I'll speak to Saverio and sort it out,

but in the meantime we need your credit card and driving licence.

They won't give us the car otherwise.

OK, that's cool. I'll be your chauffeur !

We'll sort this out.

- Good. - Let's go !

You staying here ? Yeah ?

Yeah, yeah, on you go ! Sort it out.

I'm sorry, I don't know how this happened...

- Désolé. - Désolé.

I'll stay here and keep an eye on everything.

THE BET

TUESDAY, 12 FEBRUARY 2013

5 DAYS TO X HOUR

Do we have to wait ?

Excuse me, is this the Film Commission manager's office ?

- You want me to come with you ? - No, no, thank you.

- OK, I'll wait here. - Bonjour... OK.

The Hotel Fairmont answered. The one in Monte Carlo.

We'll go on Sunday before Saverio arrives with all the crew

You find it ?

I found these, if you want to check...

Look ! It's fantastic, eh ?

- That's it. - Stop it with that ! Look at this !

- Merci. - Yeah...

- See ? - Yeah, it's great... Yeah, OK.

Have a good mardi gras. Here's the latest gossip.

The couple of the moment,

actors Jean-Christophe Touchalier and Lily Bloom

are going to be visiting the Principality of Monaco.

they are expected on Thursday.

Voilà !

We have a roof over our heads !

Ah, Dario, do you mind ? My phone.

I'm expecting an important call. Who is it ?

- Hang on. It's a text. - OK, but what does it say ?

It says "Hi, this is my new number !"

It doesn't say who it is ?

- No. - No ! Did I forget to sign it ?

It's you ?

Eh...it's the production phone.

- Are you kidding ? - No, I'm not. All right,

we'll do another top-up.

Hang on, hang on... Sorry, what do you mean "we'll do another top-up" ?

I'm in charge of the kitty. We'll do another top-up

I sent the message to everyone in my address book. It's all spent.

- You're out of credit ? - I'm out of credit, OK, so what ?

All right, I'll call the Rome office and they'll do it, OK ?

Well done ! See ? 10 euros or something they'll have put on this !

It's not always someone else's fault.

It's yours as well sending the message to your whole address book !

You know what ? You've really broken my balls with this documentary !

It's not a documentary, it's a video blog. - Same thing !

- What are you doing ? - These work as phones, don't they ?

- So I'll use them to make a call ! - Livio, don't !

- Move your hand ! - There's no SIM card, all right ?

Better to check, and I can resend the text signed "Livio".

Calm down, guys ! Please, I'm driving ! Calm down ! Dario !

- Stop ! Livio, tell me... - I'm here, I'm here...

- How much is this kitty ? - It's 30,000 euros in 500 notes.

- Minus the crisps and the top-up. - Again !

And where is this kitty ?

Take part in the bet and you'll find out.

What bet ?

I have to guess where's he's hidden the kitty.

- Ah, yeah ? - Yeah.

OK, I want to take part as well.

That's fair, that's fair, let her take part as well.

But first the stake. What are you betting ?

Er, I don't know... what did you two bet ?

We bet...the right to try with you.

But you only met me yesterday morning ! Stop it...

Eh, were we not talking about the bet ? Right,

if I win, he has to give me the thing that matters most to him.

- Which is ? - Don't tell her !

Of course I'm not going to tell her it's your BMX...

Remember those bikes from the '80s ?

We've all been young, you as well !

Yes, I remember, but you're embarrassed, I'm not.

Embarrassed, me ?

But why ? Memories are important, no ?

I like this soft side of yours, Livio.

See ? Fuck you !

- Did you see that ? What he did ? - What ? I'm holding the phones !

That's not true ! He's got the phones now, but he did something else.

Livio, if I win, what will you give me ?

If you win... Let's say I'll let her choose the preliminaries

with which to start the most astonishing night of her life.

- You're not big or clever. - Come on, I was kidding...

- You were kidding ? - Yeah, I was kidding...

I'm sorry, I don't believe you.

You've been going on like this since yesterday.

"I'll try anyway, maybe she's up for it." Is that how you see women ?

- It was a joke, it was nothing... - It was a joke ?

I'd like to see your mother win a stupid bet like this one !

How would you feel as a son with a mother like that ? Tell me !

Hey, she couldn't have known...eh.

I got some croque-monsieurs.

Eh, I thought the same thing... What are they ?

They're toast with ham and cheese on top.

There, Livio, she got some croque-monsieurs...

I got one for you as well.

Don't worry, OK ?

Les italiens !

THE HOUSE IN MENTON

WEDNESDAY, 13 FEBRUARY 2013

4 DAYS TO X HOUR

Hola. Buongiorno. Namasté...

Right, this is Menton. It's lovely !

It's the first town in France after the border with Italy.

It's full of albatrosses and cormorants.

They pass through here

on their migratory routes from North Europe to Africa.

It's freezing!

National Geographic ends here... back soon for new adventures !

This is the house of a friend of Livio's, but he's not in France now.

An old suitcase of the kind I like...

Right...

No!

Oh, yeah !

This can be a present for Dario and Livio.

Guys, this is for you.

Of course, Menton !

"The Lemon Festival in Menton".

Dario ! What the fuck ? Come on !

Hola ! Here he is, our director.

Hi, I wanted to surprise you... I got some quiche.

No, quiche are savoury, Dario.

I'm kidding, no ? I got cruassant, because Livio prefers sweet, so...

- Croissant - Cruassant, why ?

Bastard !

- What did I do ? - I don't know...

Hurry up, it's late.

Why are we staying in Menton ? I don't understand...

It was his idea.

All right, I'll tell you, but don't tell Saverio then.

I've got my phone in my hand already !

- Can you open this, please ? - Sure.

My friend who lent us this house also has the Bed and Breakfast in Nice.

You remember the other day

when we stopped outside that building with the workers ?

Where I got the keys to this house...

- When we got the keys for here ? - Yeah, I remember.

Well, as well as getting the keys, I also checked in for...

I checked in for the Bed and Breakfast. For the three of us, though.

Yeah, but we're sleeping here.

Exactly ! That way we get to keep the money we save.

So if Saverio is slow paying up, we take what we're due.

Obviously, if you want, we can split three ways. We're not excluding you !

If Saverio is slow paying up ? What does that mean ?

Well, Liberty's a bit like that...

He tries to avoid paying you for months

and then when he decides to pay, he practically invites you in

and gets you to sign the wage slip but gives you a receipt as well.

Then they make a payment from an overdrawn account, in such a way

you've signed the wage slip but the bank has blocked the payment,

and you end up with no money, right ?

But don't you worry Joelle, you're Saverio's friend, no ?

They'll pay you, obviously ! Money, money, money !

- Stop ! That's not true - It's true, it's true !

- It's true, it's true ! - Stop it !

- What's this number here ? - I don't believe it !

- What ? - You've put a smartphone here ?

I put them everywhere. In the fridge, the bathroom...

- The fridge ? - Of course !

- So I'll put it back ? - Put it back.

- What were you saying ? - What's this number ?

2,500 euros. 1,000 for my friend, and 1,500 we split between us three.

- Right ! - Good man.

All this for a miserable 500 euros each ?

Right !

Guys, sorry, is your work worth little to Liberty ?

"Ad: SUV."

Right, imagine the Côte d'Azur...

it's a beautiful day. We're in the Principality of Monaco.

some people are walking their dogs. Oh, no ! what has Fuffi seen ?

In the meantime, at the bar there a man is reading his paper

he too is distracted by something. But they're not the only ones !

The porter of a luxury hotel who thought he had seen everything

almost can't believe it !

So what has arrived that managed to astonish all these people ?

and at last we are able to see the cause of their indignation.

A woman is changing her baby's nappy,

but she is doing it on the bonnet of her SUV.

All those people seem to be saying in "That's not a changing table !"

But the woman will not be distracted. No ! She only has eyes for her baby !

The music grows louder

and from the helicopter we shoot our SUV on the Moyenne Corniche...

The baby happy in its child seat

And at the end we find the car in front of a beautiful villa

and at that point a voice will say...

"Break the Mould. The World's First SUV Designed for the Whole Family".

I've known Saverio for a few years,

but this is the first time I've worked with him.

He chose you because you know the places,

you know where to go and maybe you're not too expensive.

Or because I speak French and you don't.

Ah, that's true !

I hadn't thought of that !

Obviously he respects me as well, and I'm cheap because I'm just starting.

All right.

The problem is that nobody cares about quality and how good you are.

All they're interested in is not spending too much.

I've never heard anyone say,

"Dario, you're the right person in the right place". Never !

There's no point moaning,

otherwise why get so upset over just another Ad ?

Yeah, it's just another Ad, but that's not the point.

No, it's not just another Ad ! It's our Ad !

I've been waiting my whole life for this moment !

Finally, I'll see my ideas come to fruition. Think about that !

That's what they're playing on, your dreams, your aspirations.

They kid you on, they kid you on with something...you can't say no.

And so you find yourself working without even signing a contract !

True, in fact the trainees, people on placements, short-termers...

Researchers...

Journalists, any young person,

whatever job they do, they live the same nightmare,

and the politicians don't care. For them we're...

we're Xs, just numbers... "the Expendables" !

All right, there are lots of shits around,

but if you just accept it and keep your "heads down",

you can't complain about it then.

But I can tell you I don't think the answer is what you're doing

with the Bed and Breakfast in Nice.

- Did she say "heads down" ? - Yeah.

Yeah, because in France at least we try and solve our problems.

- Sorry, are you saying we don't ? - No, you sort them.

I hear it all the time in Italy, "We'll sort this, sort that"...

You transform problems into a system. There, you "systemise" the problems.

- You're saying we patch things up ? - Yes.

Excuse me, did you say "heads down" ?

Yes, before, she said "heads down".

- She said "heads down"... - Yes...

No, sorry, maybe you don't know how it works with us.

Ah, how ?

I'll tell you. When you're at school,

they teach you all the wonderful things,

all the wonderful things the Italians have done down through the centuries,

but then when it's your turn to make your minuscule contribution

and you timidly approach the world of work,

that ruling class that has been in power for 60 years says,

"Hold it, you can't... Hold it, you can't do anything

"Hold it, this is all ours.

"You can't have aspirations or dreams here, it's all ours.

"Do you think you're in France ? In Germany ? I don't know, in America ?"

"You think you're in America ! This is all ours. Hold it, don't leave.

"Hang on. Tell us who sent you and maybe we can discuss it."

And so the dreams you had as a child, at school,

what they told you, they vanish,

and you remain wrapped up in this fucking inferiority complex

because you live in Italy.

Keeping our "heads down" for the likes of us was never an optional !

So, Livio, do like at Puerta del Sol.

Do you know what the Indignés were saying about Italy then ? Do you ?

- The Indignados ? - Yes.

All right, what did they say about Italy ?

They said, "Don't make too much noise or we might wake the Italians."

Start by educating your masters, your politicians, all of them, no ?

To treat you a bit better ! The problem in Italy is there's no...

how is it you say "cohésion sociale" ?

- Social cohesion ? - Social cohesion...

It doesn't exist. You have to come together once and for all !

You live in fear of losing. This is the truth

and there must be a way to show Saverio what you're worth.

You have to earn your redemption ! Do you understand ?

Yeah, yeah, meantime he's got me by the balls.

- Who ? Saverio ? - Yeah. Listen, I've worked 3,000 days.

I worked 3,000 days in 10 years. 3,000 !

I did everything: painter, petrol-station attendant, brickie,

everything ! And Saverio ?

No, tell me if he's ever worked a day in his life ?

- Has he worked just one day ? - No.

No, no, he's never worked !

Did you ever wonder how he became a producer ?

Yes, because his father had a big actors' agency...

Good girl ! No, that's not it.

It's because every time his father got him a job on a set,

he did whatever the fuck he liked,

and so as not to look like a complete dick

because he knew how to do fuck-all,

he set him up in his own production company with him as the boss !

Liberty Film ! Now I ask myself, someone who's never worked,

can someone who achieved nothing ever understand what the fuck it means

having a hire car for an office and endless threats as encouragement ?

Did they say that at Puerta del Sol ? The Indignados ? Did they say it ?

No, they didn't, because they didn't know Saverio, but...

VALENTINE'S DAY PRESENTS

THURSDAY, 14 FEBRUARY 2013

3 DAYS TO X HOUR

Little carp ? Come here ! I'll make you the stars of my video blog. Come.

- Hey ! Did you see the newspaper ? - You bought the newspaper ?

- Mais oui ! "Monaco Matin" ! - And ?

Come, come.

Here...that's it ! And don't say I'm not good to you, eh !

- "Le made..." No, is that us ? - Eh...

- Us on the front page ? - Am I or am I not a genius ?

No, you are a legend !

And now look and learn how to conquer a Frenchwoman...

With the carp, your techniques work, eh...

Guys, I spoke to Saverio.

We have to go to the heliport,

to see the guy who will be doing the aerial footage.

- We have a helicopter ? - Yes.

- This is the best day of my life ! - You happy ?

No, really happy ! Have you seen the newspaper ?

- No, what newspaper ? - Livio can tell you...

What am I doing here, eh ? Feeding the fish ? Oop ! Oop !

- What, sorry ? - "What, sorry ? What, sorry ?"

Is that all you can say ?

I don't understand why Saverio always speaks with you and not with me.

No, he speaks with you who's in charge of casting !

OK. Come on, he's expecting us.

Livio, show her the newspaper. You did well, no ?

Joelle, the newspaper's talking about us...on the front page.

He told me to tell you one thing.

This is what I don't understand ! Why does he tell you to tell me,

instead of saying, "Put that loser Livio on !"

You can't always be fighting everyone over every little thing !

Are you leaving me to talk to myself ?

No, sorry, I'll get the rucksack.

Ah, well done, you're a real gentleman, Livio !

I want to see what language you speak for the helicopter !

Eh, Joelle...Joelle, wait, Livio will come back, eh !

See you later maybe... we can meet outside...

I don't know... how can a child understand...

because I was a boy, a child... even an adult might not understand...

If only I'd had the courage not to be embarrassed, to speak with someone,

if only I'd understood in time what was happening,

maybe things would be different now...

I wouldn't be carrying all this... no...

Every year she would make a beautiful crib.

I was happy, I was proud of the crib my mother made.

I came back from school and found the crib ready like it was every year...

except that year

along with the shepherds, Baby Jesus, the cattle, the donkeys...

there were screwdrivers, nails, hammers,

the whole toolbox dumped on the crib.

So I went to my mother to ask why.

I didn't know if she was taking the mickey,

but she didn't answer me, she wouldn't speak.

She looked at me like this.

I was just angry with her and I sorted everything out,

because I was embarrassed and then...

I didn't want anyone to see what she'd done.

And like an idiot, I didn't understand a thing.

That was the first symptom of Alzheimer's.

If only I'd had the guts to speak with someone...

I don't know, if only I'd understood in time...

How did it go ?

Fine up to the car park, then...we lost him...

All right, we can try again, no ?

- What's wrong with him ? - He's a bit sad...

- Why ? - Eh...

- We're in the newspaper ? - Yeah...check the front page.

Come on ! Ah, we're a team.

We have to be united, I can't stand it when you fight.

We're a trio. And this is our strength,

because when the three of us are together...

SARAH, ANNE AND HER COUSIN CLAIRE

FRIDAY, 15 FEBRUARY 2013

2 DAYS TO X HOUR

Dario, Livio, look !

On Sunday, we'll be there, at the Fairmont, the Hotel !

What are you doing ?

Stop it !

Stop it ! She's coming !

I'd like to, but I can't do without !

Sorry, girls, I couldn't wait any longer !

What will they say when they realise you skipped rehearsals ?

Ah, us, what about you ?

Me ? I'm your hostage !

Yeah, you wish !

- Good morning ! - Hello, Aunt !

What are you doing in Menton ?

These are Joelle and Sarah, they work at the Circus with me.

I saw you on the Stilts, you're really good.

I get it, I'm off.

Love, when are you taking me to dinner with your aunt and uncle ?

Say you don't want to introduce me, admit it !

No ! No tickling, no...please !

Joelle, the battery's dying.

No, I told you ! Farewell, Cap-Ferrat !

We can go whenever we want ! Sunsets don't run away !

But I wanted to go today !

Sorry, Petite Nez, you're right !

I'll take you next year, I promise !

And stop calling me "Petite Nez" !

Don't make me feel guilty !

I've got a surprise for you !

What is it ?

I'll film it !

Anne, take the lighter.

At your orders !

What is it ?

What is it, a candle in the shape of a cake

A wedding cake ?

You ready ?

- Did you write that ? - Sure !

Don't be a bitch !

I wrote it and it's for you !

It's not finished.

My cousin Claire plays in a group and will help her finish it,

I'm touched, thank you !

- Happy birthday, Petite Nez ! - Thank you !

Sarah and I always took this train

when we were touring Provence with the Circus...

We were inseparable...

Are you not any more ?

I envy you a little,

because I don't have a relationship like the one you have with Livio.

You know when there's always someone you can rely on ?

When we were at the Film Commission, that girl gave you

- a flyer for a Circus, didn't she ? - Yeah...

The Circus where you worked ?

Yeah...

I thought so...

If you want to go, we can come with you...

What do you think of me ?

You like me a little ?

Yeah...a lot...

What did you think ?

That I take you to dinner and we get married a month later ?

You're the first man I've met, then, who knows what he wants !

But I'll tell you right away, I'm not an easy person.

- I'd noticed... - Quoi ? Listen to you !

What do you mean ?

I don't know...that it might be like one of those TV series,

the ones that are always exciting...

you know, where something's always happening,

love stories, adventures,

you could be the fan who falls in love with the star.

Always gagging to know what happens in the next episode.

Exactly ! The best series finish... sooner or later...

Yeah, they finish, but the best ones last five seasons at least.

Five seasons...

Seven, eight, but I don't want to commit to too much, Joelle.

Yeah, I'd say five is the right number,

because then you run out of ideas.

Five seasons with you

would be the five most beautiful years of my life.

You're a real Don Giovanni, no ?

- You do this with all the girls... - No,

just now...

- Just now ? - Here I am !

What are you talking about ?

Were you talking about me ?

I spoke with the owner of the villa who's moved the appointment to tomorrow.

Ah, that's Saturday ! It's The Lemon Festival !

- A Festival ? - Yeah, a big party.

With lemons ?

What do they do with the lemons ?

"...FRUIT, VEG AND OTHER CANDLES"

SATURDAY, 16 FEBRUARY 2013

1 DAY FROM X HOUR

- Cheers ! - All of it ?

- Go, go, well done. - Wait, wait, slowly.

- Ah, here are the children ! - Wax, wax...

Wax, that's how you say it English.

Look at this candle... Isn't it incredible ?

Do you remember that T-shirt, W-A-X ?

- We Are the X generation... - What ? - Eh ?

- What does it mean ? - W-A-X ?

- Yeah, what you said. - We Are the X generation.

Tell me why "We Are the X generation" would be written on a candle ?

- No, I didn't say... - You did...

No, I said...I read "Wax" and thought of "We Are the X generation".

He's repeating it, he's shameless ! Go !

No, I'm repeating it because you didn't understand... I'm saying...

I get it ! You're talking bollocks !

I didn't say wax means "We Are the X generation" !

- He's keeping going... - No, I'm trying...

Are you not ashamed ? You're still talking bollocks !

But...

- You went too far this time ! - Is he offended ?

- Hey, Wax, come on ! Hey ! - Leave me alone !

What are you doing ? Are you that easily offended ?

You always treat me like that !

Skywalker, have you decided to cross to the dark side with Uncle Fester ?

Uncle Fester ! That's Darth Vader !

All right, Darth Vader, Uncle Fester, whatever, you stole this.

- Shit ! - Come here !

I dealt with it. I paid for it.

You didn't leave my details ?

- What details ? - They might come looking for me...

Who'll look for you in France ? They don't even know who you are !

- How did you pay ? - The kitty...

- They're 500-euro notes ! - He had change.

- He gave you the change ? - All of it !

One time my cousin, she was 18,

in front of the whole family said I was useless.

No, I mean it. According to her, after 30 we're useless.

All right, what does an 18-year-old girl know ?

That's what she was trying to tell me.

She knows nothing about me and I know nothing about her.

We're useless, because we don't transmit anything worthwhile to the next generations.

You know why ? The only children of extended families are increasing.

Before, couples would fight, but not get divorced,

and they'd have more children.

And so older siblings would pass on life experiences and things to the younger ones.

It's true ! Look at us three... We don't have brothers or sisters.

If we vanished off the face of the earth, nobody would notice...

Here, Joelle, it's yours if you want it, it's a present.

I paid for it ! You only stole it.

Thank you, both of you, all right ?

It's not the first time someone gave me a candle in the shape of a cake.

You not think we're kind of alike ?

We let ourselves be modelled,

we adapt to everyone and everything, nothing bothers us.

It's just at the end, the wax hardens, and I don't want to harden.

Amen !

I was a clown who used to stagger about on stilts

and I'd a huge egg I could hardly hold...

Sarah was with me, she was a clown too,

but she wasn't on stilts... she never got the hang of them.

Sarah followed me with a big hat in her hands and said,

"Drop it straight into the hat, I'll deal with the egg !"

Then I'd pretend to sneeze,

and with every sneeze I'd spray a jet of water on her from above.

And at that moment she'd put the hat on the ground

to rake about in a trunk, looking for an umbrella.

Facing the other way, she'd keep saying to me,

"Drop it straight into the hat, I'll deal with the egg !"

And obviously at that point, I dropped the egg into the hat,

and then ran away without her seeing me.

Sarah turned round and, not seeing me, picked up her hat

and put it on, covering herself with this broken egg...

It was a number that always worked.

- You know what to do ? - I inhale...

It tastes of cardboard !

"It tastes of cardboard"... it's paper, of course it does !

- Eh, it's horrible ! - What do you mean ?

- It is a bit at first, then after... - It gets better...

That's enough, he's had some.

Oi, that's enough !

Oi, that's enough !

Say goodbye to planet earth...bye.

- No ! - Come on, let go, it's a circle.

Be a gentlemen for once in your life !

No, you can't. Wait !

You're supposed to be relaxed when you're smoking ! What is this ?

I'll go in the middle, you're too close together.

Go away !

- Did he hurt you ? - Yes.

I can't move my arm. I'll have to come up very close and smoke here.

Ah ! I hurt myself as well !

Ah ! Ah, Joelle !

Where are you stubbing that out ? On the floor ?

Sure, make yourself at home... it's only my friend's.

It's burny... I think because it's old.

Come here...

No, what are you doing ?

Good night...bye...

Noooo, don't go !

I want a massage.

Joelle...

- Dario, come here... - Joelle...

Dario, come here...

Hi, Joelle, it's Sarah. I wanted to talk to you, it's been so long.

The last time we said things we didn't really mean.

Or at least that's what I like to think.

You know, Provence isn't the same since you left.

Sometimes I'd like to go back to a year ago when the world was still perfect.

Nothing...

I just wanted to tell you...

I never kept my promise to take you to see the sunset at Cap-Ferrat.

I'm sorry for everything...

really.

Happy birthday, Petit Nez.

Sarah and Anne weren't made to be together...

and yet they couldn't do without each other.

I listened in silence all the times Sarah came to let off steam,

crying because Anne was unfaithful.

She couldn't have imagined I was the other.

Anne was always the most beautiful.

I liked her attention...maybe it was the way she looked at me.

Sarah always ended up making excuses for Anne.

I never found the courage to tell her the truth.

Anne did...and that day I suddenly became a stranger to Sarah.

Stop it ! She's coming !

Without a moment's hesitation, she went to the Circus Manager.

He wasn't happy, but Sarah was the veteran in the Company.

She demanded that I be kicked out, and I was.

She took from me the only thing I loved...

at the time, that job was my whole world.

I hated Sarah for that, at least as much as she hated me.

"LILY BLOOM"

SUNDAY, 17 FEBRUARY 2013

X HOUR

You don't want to miss a moment, do you ?

I don't want to miss anything.

- I have a task, a mission. - Oh, yeah ?

Yeah. Just think if tomorrow we were no longer here...

future generations have to know this marvellous creature they never met.

You're that pure, eh ? A bit in-genous as well...

- I'm a genius ? - In-genuous...

You really think I'm a genius ?

- No, "in-genuous"... - No, no, you said genius !

- No ! - Yes, you said it !

- No, in-genuous... - The word is "ingenuous".

Ah, OK, "ingenuous".

You are.

Why are you using my mobile ?

Because mine is dead... it was on all night...

And where's your friend ? Recharging ?

No, he's in the shower, waxing.

Guy stuff, you wouldn't understand.

- You don't wax in the shower ! - He does.

Here... I watched the video again on your phone, with your friends.

I'm not sure, but maybe I know how you can find Sarah again.

What are you doing in Menton ?

- There ! See ? - No, what ?

Wait, I'll pause it. Rewind.

There.

- Stop. You don't see anything ? - Just myself.

No, not you ! In the background !

See ? There's someone there

going in with a bike. You don't recognise her ?

It's Anne's Aunt ! She's going in a gate, that's her house.

- And ? - Where's her house ? Here in Menton.

So, go to her Aunt and ask about Anne. When you find Anne, you find Sarah.

I never noticed. But even so, I don't know what street it is in Menton.

- Well, we can geolocate it. - Do what ?

You don't know even know how to use this ! Go here, places.

With the GPS we can find out where you took the photos, the video...

Do that, press that...there...

- No ! - Now we have the street as well !

- Voilà ! - That's fantastic !

See ? Let's go over there.

- Will the Crew be staying at the Fairmont as well ? - I wish !

No, only the Client.

- And us ? Bed and Breakfast... - Well done !

- I don't believe it ! - Does she think we're waiters ?

No ! It's the actor, Jean-Christophe Touchalier !

- Where are you going ? - Come on ! You as well !

Mr Touchalier ?

- That's me. - Good morning.

You recognised me.

Please, have a seat. A drop of whisky ?

- Are we bothering you ? - Not at all !

- Thank you. - Good morning. - Good morning.

- You want to make films, eh ? - I'd love to, yeah.

- We're here to make an Ad. - Great ! So we're colleagues !

Excuse me, do you have a map ?

- Voilà ! - Great !

Paris, you wanted to know about... I'll show you where it is !

Don't turn around ! You see those two men at the bar...

- Don't look at those two men ! - No, I'm not, I'm not.

They're my girlfriend's bodyguards, pretend you're asking me something.

Paris...Ask to me...

We'd like to know how to get to Paris !

Paris on a map of the Côte d'Azur.

Did they buy it ?

I have a favour to ask you, it's a bit embarrassing.

My girlfriend is a partner in this hotel.

Great woman, at times a little hysterical..

no offence, we argue...

She told them not to let me near the suite till she gets back,

but I need my case, my things !

Ah, he needs to get his clothes

Last night I slept in the Porsche.

An incredible car, but no good for sleeping in, you know ?

I know, I know...but we... Saverio...we need to find Saverio.

Thank you, all the best.

I'll pay you, obviously.

300...400...

- No, we really need to go... - 500 euros !

This hotel was opened in 1975 by Princess Grace ...

At that time it was a great event.

How many rooms for the Client and his staff ?

Now !

Go ! Take my rucksack is more large.

Take my jacket or I'll be all sweaty.

OK, see you downstairs.

OK, go !

5-0-0-2...

This way...

Shit !

There !

Excuse me, I'm here to do the room.

I'm new which is why I don't have a uniform, but I'm...

What's this ?

She's got no legs !

That'll teach Livio to not let me have breakfast... Sausage... Juice.

Right, I'll take these for Joelle...

Coffee...

Smells good.

No, all right, I'll take it. Lily Bloom...where have I seen her ?

Look at this: a hat, he's bald. A jacket...

Trousers, he's a fashionable sort. Shoes.

Scarf. That's enough. It's too much.

Who's that ?

Too much stuff ? What's all this doing ? Empty...

Crisps, that's enough.

Map, we're here ! Sulky Bear away !

Hey, Joelle, come down here !

Why did he make us come here ?

- I don't know ! - I've got a surprise for you !

OK, I'm coming down.

- You've got a surprise for me ? - Joelle,

I promise that I'll give you a flower every day of my life

- Oh, that's lovely ! Thank you. - It was better earlier.

Hey, where's Sulky Bear ?

It didn't fit.

I had to leave it. What do you care ? Free yourself of Sulky Bear !

Free myself ?

Listen, I had to leave something...

Fuck, the kitty was hidden inside Sulky Bear !

What'll we do when Saverio gets here ?

What ? Oh, shit !

Don't move !

- What have you done, Dario ? - I didn't do anything...

It was them ! They stole my money !

- Quoi ? - What's going on, Livio ?

Son of a bitch ! He conned us !

Let's see some ID.

- Your passport... - I don't understand...

- He conned us, Dario ! - Hold it ! Hand out of the rucksack.

Hey, you asked me for my passport ! You asked me ! Oi, behave !

- Stop filming ! Switch it off ! - Yes, yes, yes, yes.

500 euros...count it.

"Count it" ! He gave me it. He knows how much it is !

Tell them you're lying !

He took my wallet

- The label ? - I told you ! They stole everything.

- Listen, I can explain everything... - Is that cocaine ?

It's not mine, I've never seen it before.

But it's your jacket...

Look at them ! You can see they're junkies ! Especially him !

It's his !

Look at his eyes ! He's totally out of it !

Arrest them, they're foreigners with drugs !

That's yours !

Dario, did you record all that ? Show them the video !

What a bitch !

They stole my phone as well !

Stop filming ! Get his video camera !

No, no, no, no, I didn't do anything ! Help !

How does this work ?

Don't move !

Police, good morning.

Don't move, I said !

You enjoying this ? I'll handcuff you, be careful !

Keep calm...

Will we take a photo ?

Fuck, it's filming ! Come on, smile !

Stop, don't come any closer !

It worked !

You're mad ! You let outsiders into our room !

Yes, but not for long !

Where are they now ?

Down there with Paul. Please, for once, try to understand...

- Try to be happy for me ! - Stop filming, you !

It's the police.

Tell him to stop filming !

All right, all right... We now know who wears the trousers !

- It's all here. - Yeah, the lenses are all right.

What lenses ! The kitty's the thing !

Ah ! That's where the legs ended up !

You don't know...if he gets an idea in his head...he's like a child...

But I can't say no to him.

He wants to sell this reality show to the TV.

So these are famous people...

Yes, they're VIPs who play tricks on ordinary people...

filmed with hidden cameras.

And for it to be broadcast, you have to sign the releases.

- OK, I'll ask Dario and Livio. - OK thanks !

Joelle ? Joelle, did you see that ? It's me, I was acting...

Yeah, I saw it... So was I.

- You as well, yes... - You like it ?

- So all this was a reality show... - Apparently...

Jean-Christophe wants to sell the format and we're the pilot show.

Ah, Lily asked me if we want to sign the releases...

Lily Bloom, famous actress ! Ad ! Does it not say anything to you ?

Oh, my God ! Oh, my God ! She's up for it ?

She said yes, but first she has to speak with her agent.

We just have to sign these releases to keep Jean-Christophe happy...

What do you think ?

Livio ! It's a one-off opportunity, no ?

Just think what Liberty will say when they find out !

- What do you think ? - I agree,

but we all have to agree.

You agree ?

Whose is the child seat ? The child seat ?

It's my son's child seat.

A child. We agree !

- You agree ? - Yes, we agree !

Honey ! They agree, they accept !

Thanks ! Thanks ! Thanks !

Sign, quick...

We need to go to Saverio... He's here in an hour.

At the Bed and Breakfast

We need to be there before the Crew.

- Done ? - Yeah. - Done...

Let's go and find the street from the video, eh ?

- What street from the video ? - He promised me...

Yes. The street from the video. Of course ! Come on, we've got time !

- What is it ? - I promised her...

Trust us, I'll explain in the car.

Who cares about Saverio ? Come on ! If he wants, he can wait for us !

Latest reports speak of a loud bang near nice airport...

That's us...pull over.

...where there are a large number of hotels...

Guys, you not got anything either ?

Eh, nothing, Joelle, it's all the same here, look...

Wait...

I'm sure we can find it...

We're here, it's here... it must be here somewhere.

Joelle !

Look at that bike...

Claire !

Claire !

Who is this Claire ?

Claire is Anne's cousin.

- Come on, guys, let's get the car. - Let's go...

- But that was Claire ! - But she was going that way...

- Livio... -Where's she going ?

As soon as we get home,

- you're going to do a bit of sport. - You as well, though.

We found her !

- Are you living round here again ? - No...I'm here for work.

Sarah tried to find you lots of times,

and when she saw you weren't answering,

she told us all not to tell you anything...

If you didn't know, you wouldn't have suffered.

- When did it happen ? - Last spring...

a melanoma...

it all happened in less than two months.

- How did Anne take it ? - She went to live in Paris.

- I can send you the song by e-mail. - Thank you.

You answer that, I'm going to get my things.

- There's a message from Saverio. - Are they here already ?

- Will I read it ? - Yes...

"Get the first plane for Rome today. Ad cancelled."

- Are you kidding ? - No.

"Ad cancelled" ? Sorry, what does that mean ? Call him !

- My battery's dead. - OK, use the production phone !

- Yeah, I'll call him now. - Joelle !

Joelle ! You have to call Saverio, there's been a cock-up, OK ?

Yeah, I know, he left me a message.

What does that mean, "Ad cancelled" ?

And why does he keep calling you and never me ?

Because you don't fucking matter to him, Livio !

- There ! - Why are you saying that ?

It wasn't cancelled. They filmed the Ad, all right ?

This week, and they finished yesterday.

What the fuck do you mean they filmed it ?

- Where ? - In Rome, they filmed it in Rome.

You mean...they used my idea ? My storyboards ?

How long have you known ? Oh, fuck, I don't believe this !

I found out now, Livio ! Now !

Now ?

- I don't believe you ! - You don't believe me ? - No.

Right, listen...

- Listen... - She knew, she knew...

I feel I've been taken for a ride as well ! What do you think ?

What do you think ?

Dario...

But why ? Why did Saverio do this ?

Why ? I'll tell you why !

Because that son of a bitch used us to inflate the costs, that's why !

The Côte d'Azur ! Why not ?

Who knows what fucking trail of false bills he's come up with for this ?

We had it all... we had the famous actress...

We had it all ! We were that close and that dickhead...

took the piss out of us all that time ! That's what he did !

To screw the Client, he screwed us as well, the dickhead !

You have to work hard, Livio. You have to keep quiet, Livio.

You mustn't complain, Livio.

There's the crisis, Livio.

There's the crisis for everyone, fuck !

I'm 35 years old and I can't do a fucking thing !

35 years of a fucking shit life !

35 years like this...

I can't take it any more...

I can't take it any more.

I can't take it any more...

I can't go back...

Radio Monte Carlo News. We’re receiving lots of texts from listeners from the most congested parts of Nice

What's wrong with everyone today

it’s still not clear what was the cause of the explosion...

the authorities in the meantime are setting up, not without difficulty, a security perimeter...

the smoke is really thick...

Turn it up a bit...

We need to remember that the epicentre of the explosion is not far from the airport...

...to guarantee access for the emergency services, all roads to the airport have been closed...

the control tower has suspended all departing flights from Nice... incoming flights are being diverted to Toulon

Guys, look there.

...to evacuate as rapidly as possible...

So the series of powerful explosions seems to have been caused by a gas leak on a building site...

hang on... among the buildings destroyed in the first explosion was a Bed and Breakfast

whose guests have all been accounted for with the exception of three.

The authorities are saying that the mobile phone number one of them

provided at the time they checked in now seems to be switched off.

they are two Italian men and a French woman, all in their 30s.

If they are confirmed as having been killed, we will have to add another three victims.

We’ll be bringing you up to date on the explosions, after this break.

We died on Sunday 17 February 2013.

The next day,

when Nice Airport reopened,

none of us wanted to go back,

to contradict those who'd said we were dead.

Nor did we have any intention of returning the kitty to Saverio.

That Sunday afternoon,

if, instead of looking for the street in Joelle's video

and meeting Claire, finding out about Sarah...

we'd listened to Saverio and gone to the Bed and Breakfast to wait for him

and a Crew that was never coming,

well, at that point we really would have died in the first explosion.

So ? What to do ?

Yeah...what to do ?

Going back home with our "heads down"

or grab our redemption ?

Sure, the first idea

was to let the blame for our supposed deaths fall on Saverio

and his company.

We could have let our films be found

and show that we were working for someone

when we were in France,

without ever having signed a contract

and without being insured like any normal worker.

We'd have become martyrs.

We'd have had our personal revenge,

but that would have been it,

and we'd have had to hide for ever.

What we experienced

shouldn't be something private between us and Saverio.

So we decided to let people know we're alive.

But at the right moment, when nobody is expecting it.

We'll get a lot of people interested,

our story will be listened to.

Our films will become messages in a bottle.

An invitation to raise your heads

and throw off any inferiority complex...

..and come together to solve problems and not just "systemise" them.

"Three Guys Coming Back from the Dead".

That way we'd make the front page, and how !

That day...

...we'll be X HOUR for all those who have always and only...

...considered us suitable to be "the Expendables".

And that's why for the likes of us

the time has finally come to go back.