Original subtitles

All right, Saturday is the big day.

A lot of people thought this would never come.

I may have been one of those people.

I may have been one of those people.

- Wait, are we talking about the wedding? - Yes.

Yeah, I was definitely one of those people.

And yet, here we are. Now, we got a lot of family coming in tomorrow.

I'm gonna need everyone's help.

Think of this as one of your comic book movies.

There's a bunch of superheroes, each with a different task.

Like the new Avengers.

- Which one was that? - The one you slept through last weekend.

That was a good nap.

Well, I think it's more like Lord of the Rings ,

and you're the Fellowship.

Someone's got to go to Gondor, someone's got to go to Mordor,

someone's got to hold off the demon of shadow and flame.

- You mean the Balrog? -l mean, my mother.

- That is a perfect metaphor, Amy. - Thank you.

Because it also involves a ring that binds me in servitude forever.

He said "forever".

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

That was Wil Wheaton. He's really excited about tomorrow.

As am I.

If you'd have told me as a child,

that an actor from Star Trek would be officiating my wedding,

I would've said, "Ooh! William Shatner?"

And if you'd have said, "No, Wil Wheaton," I'd have said,

"Well, did you even try William Shatner?"

And if you'd have said, "Yes, but he costs too much money,"

I'd have said, "Well, Wil Wheaton's good, too. "

Why do you keep tying and untying that bow tie?

I can't seem to get it even.

I don't think it's supposed to be even. Sometimes a little asymmetry looks good.

In the Renaissance, they called it "sprezzatura."

The Renaissance?

Amy, you know I'm more of an Enlightenment person.

At some point, we have to decide how we want to raise the children.

So, are you feeling okay? No wedding jitters?

No.

There is nothing in the world

that would stop me from marrying you tomorrow,

even me from the future coming back to prevent the wedding

and the subsequent birth of a child who will destroy humanity.

Because if you came from the future,

that would mean you already went through with the wedding

because you believe that time travel is on a closed loop.

I love you so damn much.

(PENNY SIGHS)

Mr. Fowler, are you okay back there? Do you need more air?

He's fine.

I'm surprised Amy didn't pick us up.

Oh. Well, you know, she's pretty busy the day before her wedding.

Too busy for her mother? She used to be such a devoted daughter.

Now, she's just waiting for me to die, so, she can get my china.

Thank you, again, for picking us up.

My pleasure, Mrs. Cooper.

You know, our driver to the airport was also a Indian fella.

Mom.

Oh, so, now, it's racist to notice when somebody's Indian?

I don't think it's racist. I noticed you were both white.

See? You have to excuse her. She's just pregnant and hormonal.

Yeah, congratulations on baby number two.

Yeah.

(SARCASTICALLY) Whoopee!

Her husband would be here,

but he stayed home to watch their older son,

(NERVOUS CHUCKLE) so, everything's fine.

(STERNLY) Stop it. We're separated.

You don't say.

AMY: So, you're Sheldon's big brother.

Oh, yeah. He got the brains. I got the bod.

And the face and the hair.

I like your accent.

Sheldon, did you used to sound like that? Can you still?

I can. I will not.

Amy, you said something about my bow tie that I can't stop thinking about.

Don't you mean,

(IMITATING SOUTHERN ACCENT) "Y'all said somethin' 'bout my bow tie?"

Go on, say it. Say it.

Hey, guys, look who I have.

- ALL: Hey! - MISSY: Oh, my God.

- Hey, Shelly. -l'm so glad you made it, Missy.

This is my fiancee, Amy. Amy, this is my sister.

Hi.

If I ever need a kidney, this is where you get it.

It's so nice to meet you. I've always wanted a sister.

Really? Why?

I love you, too, Sheldon.

Really? Why?

Where's Mom?

She wanted to stop by the hotel and freshen up,

and then call her pastor to pray for Missy's soul.

Oh, my God.

- There's mama's girl. - AMY: Hi, Mom.

Oh, Larry, look at her.

Can you believe our little lamb is finally getting married?

He can't believe it.

And neither can I.

(LAUGHS)

Hi, Dad. How you doing?

What the hell is that?

Come on, you know this one. It's a dog.

I found him in the backyard.

And don't worry, I already called the owner.

Good, 'cause we don't need a dog.

We already have two babies, you and Stuart.

(DOORBELL RINGING)

That's probably him.

Hi.

(SOFTLY) I'm gonna need a minute.

(SQUEALING) That's Mark Hamill!

Hello.

Thank you so much for finding this guy. Oh, my goodness.

Hey, Bark. How are you, buddy?

(STAMMERING) Your dog's name is Bark?

Yeah.

Bark Hamill?

Yeah. Well, I let the fans name him online.

I got lucky, though. He was almost Honey Baked Hamill.

Anyway, thanks so much.

I want to give you a reward for finding him.

Oh, no, I couldn't take your money. It's just an honor to meet you.

No. No, please. You don't know what this dog means to me,

and I thought he was gone for good. Please?

There must be something I can do for you. Anything.

Oh, you're gonna regret that.

- Hey, dude. -"Dude"?

Yeah, you know, just want you to know that I don't think of you as a woman.

Oh, perfect. I don't think of you as a man.

Great.

So, as two genderless blobs of human flesh,

how would you like to go to Sheldon and Amy's wedding with me?

Oh. Stuart.

Look, I appreciate that, but it just might be a little weird,

considering you're my boss.

Guess who's gonna officiate Sheldon and Amy's wedding.

Mark Hamill!

(YELLS) Luke Skywalker is gonna be at the wedding!

You'll need to buy me a dress.

And did you know that my Amy played Amelia Earhart in the eighth grade?

Amy, you never said you were in a school play.

Oh, no, at home. I'd never let her do a school play.

Those kids just take drugs and have intercourse.

You know, Amy still does some performing.

She and Sheldon do an Internet show about flags.

Amy'?

(STAMMERING) Videos on the Internet?

(STERNLY) You know what men use those for.

If you're talking about Fun with Flags, I use it to go to sleep.

Sheldon, you're awfully quiet. Are you okay?

Oh! Oh, I'm sorry.

I was thinking about string theory. Catch me up. What'd I miss?

Are you seeing this, Larry?

These are the people I'm gonna have to live with after you're dead.

Welcome, Bert. Don't you look nice.

Yeah. Like a geode, I clean up good.

Don't you crack a geode open?

It's not a perfect metaphor.

Oh, my God. ls that Mark Hamill?

Yeah.

- Oh, my God. ls that- -(SHOUTS) Bert, go find your seat!

What is he doing here?

I found his dog and guilted him into officiating the wedding.

Don't tell Sheldon. It's a surprise.

Wait, I thought Wil was officiating the wedding.

Yeah, so did he.

- How did he take the news? -I'll let you know.

Hey. Wil!

(SNIFFLES)

Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?

No. I'm just so happy for you.

And for me.

After today, you are officially,

and more important, legally, Amy's problem.

Don't be silly, Leonard. I will always be your problem.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

Hey, baby.

Hello, Mother.

Leonard, could you give us a moment?

Of course.

Oh, Shelly...

I wish your dad could see you now.

Me, too. I miss him.

He would be so proud of you. I know that I am.

Thank you.

I mean, for everything. My whole life.

(CRYING)

(LAUGHING SOFTLY)

Let me straighten your tie.

No, it's all right.

It's supposed to be a little asymmetrical.

Apparently, a small flaw somehow improves it.

I can see that.

Sometimes, it's the imperfect stuff

that makes things perfect.

Excuse me.

Case in point.

So, we finally meet.

I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm Wil Wheaton.

I was supposed to officiate this wedding.

I was up all night, preparing these notes.

Well, thanks so much. It's gonna be a great help.

-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) - SHELDON: Amy. Amy.

- Amy. - Come in.

(PANTING) There's something I need to tell you.

Wow, you look amazing!

That's not what I need to tell you. But you do.

- What's wrong? - Something incredible just happened.

Remember when you were telling me about my bow tie,

-and how a little asymmetry is good? - Yeah?

My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world,

and the only way to do that

is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.

So, instead of supersymmetry, it would be super asymmetry?

(GASPS) Super asymmetry. That's it!

- Give me your lipstick. - What?

(SHOUTING) Just give it to me, you beautiful thing! We have work to do!

Hey, the bride and groom seem to be running a little behind.

Do you think you could stall?

Stall? How?

Hey, everybody!

It's gonna be a few more minutes, but while we wait,

does anyone have any questions about Star Wars?

You got this.

So, if I make slightly asymmetric knots with sheets in four dimensions,

I can bootstrap the whole idea to a large asymmetry in 11 dimensions.

Well, maybe even at the initial moment of creation,

the fundamental forces lacked symmetry.

(KNOCKING AT DOOR)

Everyone's waiting. What are you guys doing?

Super asymmetry.

Super asymmetry? ls that a thing?

We're inventing it right now.

Don't you think this can wait until...

Hold on. This is interesting.

So, yeah, Mr. Mark?

When you were on the Wookiee home planet,

how did you even understand what they were saying?

I don't remember ever being on a Wookiee home planet.

Actually, Luke was on the Wookiee home planet, Kashyyyk,

in the Holiday Special, when he helped Chewie get home to his wife.

Chewie had a wife?

Her name's Malla.

Wow, that's impressive.

Yeah.

Hey, I got a question.

Why aren't there tires on any of those Star Wars vehicles?

I'm sure some of them had tires.

Actually, they don't.

I mean, the HAVw A5 Turbo Tank has metal-gripping wheels,

but I wouldn't call them tires.

You are so hot.

This is taking too long. I bet that Sheldon stood my baby up.

Excuse me. Where are you going?

This whole thing was a big mistake.

I'm gonna find Amy and get her out of here.

(STERNLY) S“ down'.!

Excuse me?

Sheldon loves Amy,

and he would never hurt her on her wedding day, or any other day,

so, park it.

Oh, you sit down, too.

Are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Say something.

Thank you.

According to Google, there are zero papers that mention super asymmetry.

This is brand-new. No one's thought of it.

What are you lunatics doing?

Sheldon had a breakthrough.

Actually, Amy and I had a breakthrough.

Science? Shocking.

You don't understand. This could be really big.

No, Penny's right.

We have our whole lives to do science together.

Let's get married.

All right. It's go time. I am pumped!

Okay, everyone. Here we go.

Leonard.

That's Mark Ha... (STAMMERING)

It's Mark Hami... (STAMMERING)

Yep. Thank Wolowitz. He set it up.

Congratulations on your wedding.

Thank you.

When this is over, I have 4,000 things for you to sign.

(HERE COMES THE BRIDE PLAYING)

Thank you, Daddy.

I thought Wil was marrying us.

Wolowitz got us an upgrade.

Another sci-fi guy with a beard. Seems lateral, but okay.

Welcome.

We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends,

and Almighty God.

That's too religious.

That lady over there made me say it.

He heard you, and He can't un-hear you.

We're here to celebrate the marriage

of Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler.

I had more prepared,

but I'm just gonna skip to the rings and vows,

since I've been answering your questions for 45 minutes.

Yeah, he answered 'em.

Amy, you're up.

Sheldon, when I was a little girl,

I used to dream about my wedding, but eventually, I stopped,

because I thought that day would never come.

And then I met you.

From the first moment in that coffee shop,

I knew that there was something special between us,

even though I did work on a study that disproved love at first sight.

I loved that study the moment I read it.

Ironic, huh?

Clearly, it was wrong.

Because I felt something that day,

and those feelings have only gotten stronger with time.

I can't imagine loving you more than I do right now.

But I felt that way yesterday, and the day before yesterday,

and the day before that.

Is that growth linear, or accelerating?

Accelerating.

Oh, maybe we could graph it out.

Save something for the honeymoon.

Smart.

Sheldon,

I don't know what the future holds,

but I know that I've never been happier than I am in this moment, marrying you.

Well, that was unexpectedly beautiful. (CRYING)

(SHAKILY) I might need a minute.

Amy.

I usually know exactly what to say.

But, in this moment,

I have no words.

I guess, (EXHALES)

I'm overwhelmed by you.

In a good way.

Not in the elevator in the Haunted Mansion way.

Even if I can't tell you now, how I feel,

I will spend my life showing you how much I love you.

(VOICE SHAKING) Do you...

(CLEARS THROAT)

(VOICE SHAKING) Do you...

Hey, I'm just sayin', I'm here, if you need me to step in.

No, no, no. I got this.

Amy, do you take Sheldon for your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

(VOICE CHOKING) And, Sheldon, same thing.

I do.

Then by the power vested in me,

by even-you-can-perform-weddings-dot-com

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(AT LAST PLAYING)

(BARRY SINGING) At wast

My wove has come awong

My wonewy days are over

And wife is wike a song

Oh, yeah.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

English - SDH