All language subtitles for The.Big.Bang.Theory.S10E14.The.Emotion.Detection.Automation.720p.BluRay.x264.Pahe

What's going on
with that woman you're dating?

- I broke up with her.
- Why?

She said she didn't want to see me anymore
and I found that insulting.

I thought things were going well.
What happened?

I don't know.
She didn't even give me a reason.

That's not a problem,
we can figure this out.

What are the reasons women reject Raj?

RAJ: Look, can we not play this game?

Doesn't like games, that's one.

- Ignore him.
- Yeah, sorry about the breakup.

That's okay, I'm fine.

SHELDON: Of course you're fine.

Not every member of a species
finds a mate.

Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin,
look at the contributions he made.

I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.

So now you think you're better
than Isaac Newton?

No wonder women don't like you.

You're not being very nice.

SHELDON: What? He said he was fine.

Sometimes people say things
they don't mean.

SHELDON: That's a paradox.

If you meant what you just said,

then that means you may not have meant
what you just said.

Careful, I saw this on Star Trek.
Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon.

- Hey.
- Hey, boys. How's it goin'?

I thought we were having
a nice conversation,

but it turns out I was being offensive.

So, normal?

Sheldon, what did you do?

We were discussing Raj's recent breakup
and apparently I was insensitive to him.

It's okay, I'm fine.

You didn't-- Don't fall for it.

Now he'll get you to compare him
to a dead virgin,

and suddenly you're the bad guy.

Sheldon, when I said I was fine,

I meant I didn't wanna
talk about it anymore.

Then why didn't you say that?

Because that's not what people do.

Well, I would prefer if people told me
exactly what is on their mind.

No, no, you don't, you really don't.
I actually can't say "don't" enough.

Well, it certainly would be easier.

You have no idea what it's like

to struggle
with recognizing emotional cues.

- L'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
- Thank you.

And also a little sad.

Okay, now you're just showing off.

You know, ljust read that a team at MIT

developed a device
that helps people read human emotions.

And you think we can get those guys
to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.

It's supposed to be accurate,
like, 85% of the time.

Wow, I find that hard to believe.

That a bunch of awkward scientists
with no social skills

would invent a machine to do it for them?

I take it back, I believe it.

You know, if it's at MIT,
I can make some calls.

Maybe we can get Sheldon a prototype.

What do you think?

A machine that reads emotions
is intriguing.

It could help me be
a more considerate friend.

Wouldn't that be nice.

It could also help me identify my enemies,
discover their fears and then...

I could use those fears to destroy them.

I like the first one.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Now that Sheldon's across the hall,

have you decided what you're doing
with his old room?

I was thinking maybe a library
or a gaming room.

You could make it a train room.

I don't like trains, you like trains.

I know, and Amy says
I can't have a train room.

Sheldon, ljust heard from the guys at MIT
about that emotion reader.

They're sending a prototype
for you to beta test.

Wonderful.

Although, I'm not sure how I feel
about being used as a guinea pig.

Well, when you get the machine
you can find out.

Maybe I could use it to understand
why women keep dumping me.

Well, you don't need a machine for that.

Just send a survey card
to all your ex-girlfriends

and tell them if they fill it out
they might win a prize.

That's actually not a bad idea.

Maybe I could even get them all together,
sort of like a...

A focus group
to find out what's wrong with me.

No, Raj, that's a terrible idea.

Yeah, I was joking.

Really?

A little tip, jokes are often better

when you end them
with "wockawocka" or "ha-cha-cha."

Great news, the TV I want
will fit in the gaming room,

and if I leave the curtains open,
I can watch it from work.

Hey, can you hold off redoing that room?

My brother's comin' out here
in a few weeks.

Yeah, okay, sure.
What's going on with your brother?

My dad asked if I can get him
a job interview at my work.

Is that a good idea?

I mean, you think they'll consider someone
who was in prison for selling drugs?

Well, I sell pharmaceuticals.

Which is just a really
hard-to-spell word for drugs.

Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate

carrying his samples in a briefcase
instead of his colon.

How long do you think he'll stay?

I'm not sure. Maybe a few days.
Unless he gets the job, then who knows?

"Who knows?" That's exciting.

I'll get to wake up every morning
and see if he's still here.

You don't have a problem
with this, do you?

No, of course not.
I mean, he's your brother.

Okay, thank you. You're the best.

Remember that when the new TV

falls off the wall and crushes us both.
(CHUCKLES)

This thing's pretty cool.

It interprets emotions
using a wireless signal

to analyze subtle changes
in breathing and heart rate.

- It's amazing a machine can do that.
- SHELDON: Yes.

Now when the robots rise up,

they'll know that I've been
rooting for them the whole time.

The display is synced to your phone.

- Give it a try.
- All right.

Now I'm gonna look at some pictures
to prompt an emotional response

and we'll see if the machine
can identify them accurately.

Remember, it can only detect
happy, sad, angry and excited.

Not other things you're feeling,
like, "What have I done with my life?"

Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.

You are... Happy?

- Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
- Aw.

Okay. Somebody's ignoring
their tiny needle teeth, but all right.

- Try another one.
- Okay.

What does it say I'm feeling?

- Sad.
- Yes,

I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.

That makes sense.
'Cause she's gone and you miss her.

Yes.

And you're worried
that turkey neck is in your future.

See, now it says you're mad.
Make up your mind.

Okay, Emily, that sounds great.
See you then.

Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?

Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together
in order to discuss

why they broke up with me
and how I can be a better boyfriend.

Oh, God, you went through with that?
What is wrong with you?

We are going find out.

Why would you do that, Raj?

Well, I want information
in order to improve myself.

You're not gonna get information,

you're just gonna get criticism
that hurts your feelings.

Don't worry, I'm a grown man.
I have a thick skin.

- You're so stupid.
- Hey!

Hey, will you take a look
at my brother's résumé?

I'm trying to help him
clean it up a little.

Sure.

He really worked
with the Drug Enforcement Agency?

He didn't know it until he was cuffed,
but yeah.

Hey, Leonard,
if you're happy and you know it,

no need to clap your hands
because I have an emotion detector.

- How's it working out?
- Surprisingly well.

That's great, I'm happy for you.

Hold on.

What? You are. Aren't you sweet?

What's that?
Are you workin' on your résumé?

No, it's my brother's.
I'm tryin' to help him get a job out here.

Ooh, and that makes Leonard angry.

No, it doesn't.

(SCOFFS) Leonard, please.
I know an angry face when I see it.

It's this red frowny guy on my phone.

What? Are you really upset
about Randall coming?

- No!
- Yes.

- I said no.
- It's like you're twins.

Leonard, if you're mad about this,
just tell me.

Fine, you invited your drug dealer brother
to stay with us for God knows how long,

and didn't bother to ask me first.

He's my brother,
I didn't think I needed your permission.

Hey, now she's angry, too.

This thing works like gangbusters.

I'm not saying
you have to ask my permission,

but you could have talked to me about it
before you said it was okay.

Like you talked to me
about your gaming room?

Our gaming room!
I was gonna put a scented candle in it.

He's still mad.

Stop enjoying their fight.

You first.

If you were this upset, why didn't you
say so when I first told you?

Because I didn't wanna sound like a jerk.

Well, you sound like one now.

I don't see the big deal
if my brother comes and stays for a while.

If you get him a job,
he's gonna live here forever.

He would get his own place.

- Has he ever had his own place?
- Yes!

Did it have a metal toilet
next to the bed?

It still counts!

You know, how is this any different
from you making me live with Sheldon?

Hey! I shared
my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.

You gave me a bill
at the end of every month.

Stay out of this.

You and your stupid machine
started this fight.

(GASPS) You are lucky that this feelings
machine doesn't have feelings.

- Come on, Sheldon. Let's go.
- Gladly.

Can we storm out?

I think it loses its impact
if we're chatting about it.

Fine, I'll just give them the finger.

Okay, first off I want to thank you all
so much for coming.

Howard is here to interpret for Emily
and to take notes.

(INAUDIBLE)

No, he doesn't think it's stupid.

Heads up. Both of you are named Emily,

so we'll call you "Red-headed Emily,"

and you "Red-headed Emily Junior."

Hey, you went outwith him, I didn't.

Okay, let's get things started.

Why don't we go around the room,

say your name
and why you broke up with me.

Wanna kick it off?

Okay. Um...

I'm Lucy and I broke up with Raj
because I have severe social anxiety,

and he kept trying to force me
into uncomfortable situations.

Like this one?

Yeah.

I did do that. I can be insensitive
to other people's boundaries.

Howard, would you write that down?

"Schmuck." Got it.

Next?

Okay.

I'm Claire.

And I guess I broke up with you
because you were just really needy.

Also, you know, you were incredibly vain,

like, all the time you spend
shaping your eyebrows--

Okay, new rule, everybody only gets one.

Next?

I'm not sure I'm comfortable

sharing details about our relationship
in front of Howard.

He's here to support me,

so anything you have to say,
you can say in front of him.

Okay. Well,
whenever you and I were in bed--

Howard, get out.

Not a chance.

So, you were telling us
how Raj was terrible in bed.

Sheldon, dinner's ready.

I made beef-loaf

because I know you're uncomfortable
with the non-specificity of meatloaf.

Sheldon?

- Hey, are you okay?
- Not really.

What's going on?

I wish I never tried that device.

And I know I said the same thing
after the massage chair,

but this time I mean it.

I'm sorry Leonard and Penny
hurt your feelings.

It's more than that. It's me.

I always knew I had trouble
recognizing other people's emotions,

but that machine just made it so real.

Well, everybody has things
that they need help with.

Like me, I can't see without my glasses.

You know, right now you're just a...

A cute pink smudge
wearing a childish green smudge.

I thought I was getting better at it,
but clearly I'm not.

Yes, you are.

There have definitely been days
when I was sad and you could tell.

Yeah, but that's shooting
fish in a barrel.

You're kind of a sad sack.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
I'm just upset.

See, right there.

You knew you hurt my feelings.

And I'm proud of you for reasons I'm sure
have something to do with my father.

And if you don't like that machine,
get rid of it.

Because I love you
exactly the way you are.

I feel the same way about you.

Now put your glasses back on,
you look weird.

"L thought you were great,
but, oh, my God,

"you were so dominated by your parents."

Yeah, that used to drive me nuts.
He's kind of a mama's boy.

- Kind of?
- Okay, that's enough.

Write down "loving son."

Can ljust say something?

Going out with Raj

was one of the best things
that ever happened to me.

Yes, I'll take you back.

Let me finish.

It's like I needed
to go through that experience

to know what exactly
I don't want in a man.

Well, that's hard to hear,
but I'll still take you back.

You know, the same thing happened to me.

After I broke up with Raj,
I met Gary who's just amazing.

Sorry, is that Gary with one "R" or two?

Would you stop writing?

Wait, so, did all of you
go on to better relationships after me?

- Oh, yeah.
- Without question.

Little before, actually.

Oh.

Wow. Don't let him get away.

Wait. What did she say?

Basically, she traded you
for a Bruce Wayne.

Okay. Maybe we should just end this.

Well, hang on.

I just want to point out to everyone here,

this is a man who is going
to great lengths to better himself.

Even at the risk of being humiliated.
And I, for one, think that's very brave.

Thank you, Howard.

Honestly, I'm surprised
you two didn't wind up together.

Well, like you gals,

I had to suffer through him
to find Bernadette.

(COOING)

- Yes?
- We owe you an apology.

It's fine. You needed a suitcase,
I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.

That was six years ago.
I'm talking about tonight.

Oh.

I thought we were going in order.

Look, we got really angry at each other

and you just got caught
in the middle of it.

And sorry about the suitcase.

Yeah, well, you should be.

Your socks were still in it.
I had to throw it away.

Anyway, I trust
that you've resolved your conflict?

- Yes, we're fine.
- Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him

it's not a good time for Randall to visit.

Hopefully, he won't be too upset.

You're his little girl,
he can't stay mad at you.

He won't be mad at me.

I mean, you're the one
who doesn't want my brother to come. So...

So you're gonna throw me under the bus?

Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard,
I might actually win a stuffed animal.

Guys, it sounds
like you're getting angry again.

- That's because we are.
- Yes!

I don't need an emotion machine, lam one!

Thanks, ladies, this was fun!

Let's not wait so long
for another bizarre, awkward night.

That was a waste of time.
I'm such an idiot.

Don't beat yourself up.
That's what I'm here for.

Maybe I won't settle down.
Maybe I'll just play the field.

Yeah, the field was just here.
The field said no.

Dude, come on.

Okay, I'll tell you what,
I'll make you a deal.

Thirty years from now,
if you're still single

and things don't work out
with me and Bernadette,

you and I can give it a go.

I appreciate the offer,
but if things don't work out with you two,

I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.

Too late. Stuart called dibs.

But, theoretically,

if you and I were in a gay relationship,

how would we tell people?
Like, print up announcements?

I don't know.
What difference does it make?

Well, I wanna make sure
we get invited to all the parades.

Those do look fun.

Yeah. Well,

if you wanna march in a fishnet crop-top
you better lay off that dip.

If you didn't want me to eat it,
Why'd you put it out?

It was for the girls. They broke up
with me, I don't care if they get fat.

I'm not gonna get fat.

You wanna bet? You never exercise.

Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now.

One.

Two.

These are crunches, by the way.

Very mature. Keep eating like that,
you're gonna have a heart attack.

Okay. How about if I eat like this?

(MOANS SENSUALLY)

You're such a child!

Hey, is that any way
to talk to your future husband?

Hey. I was being hypothetical, okay?
I would never marry you.

Please. When you see the ring I pick out,
you're gonna melt.

Yeah, right.

Wait, is it rose gold?

Actually, don't tell me.
I wanna be surprised.

So, did you wind up
sending that machine back?

I did. You know, I'm not even sure
how accurate it was.

I took it to the train store.
It said everyone was sad.

I finally got Halley to sleep.

You know, ljust read a study
that suggests new mothers are better

-at sensing emotions for up to two years.
- It's true.

Pregnancy causes physiological changes
in the brain

that result in increased empathy.

Oh! So all we need to do
is get Sheldon knocked up.

We can't, he was already fixed
when I found him at the shelter.

Hey, Bernadette, let's test this theory.
What do you think I'm feeling right now?

Let's see. You're better than us,
a little bit sorry for us,

but mostly glad you don't have to be us.

Keep filling this one with babies,
she's good.

English - SDH