Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,504
HOWARD:
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:04,672
(BABY CRYING)
3
00:00:04,964 --> 00:00:09,385
BERNADETTE: Stop crying. I'm begging you.
I don't know what else to do.
4
00:00:09,969 --> 00:00:12,555
My boobs are empty. Do you want lasagna?
5
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,432
(BABY CONTINUES CRYING)
6
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:19,896
(SHUSHES) It's okay. It's okay.
7
00:00:27,612 --> 00:00:28,696
What have we done?
8
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,371
What's all this?
9
00:00:37,580 --> 00:00:39,665
Well, it sounded like
you were having a rough day,
10
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:42,168
so I wanted you to come home
to something nice.
11
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:44,754
Oh, that is so thoughtful.
12
00:00:45,254 --> 00:00:47,715
Hey, do you remember when we went
wine tasting in Santa Barbara
13
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:49,592
and you said that was the best rose
you'd ever had?
14
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,805
Yeah, I remember us driving up there,
going to the winery and that's it.
15
00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,476
- This wine is why.
- Oh!
16
00:01:00,186 --> 00:01:01,479
Hey, what smells so good?
17
00:01:01,646 --> 00:01:05,107
- Oh, I made your favorite. Pizza bagels.
-(GASPS)
18
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:10,321
Pink wine and pizza bagels!
It's like eighth grade all over again!
19
00:01:11,614 --> 00:01:13,199
I am so lucky to have you.
20
00:01:13,366 --> 00:01:14,867
Well, be careful. These are hot.
21
00:01:15,034 --> 00:01:18,996
I could explain the thermodynamics of
why the cheese seems hotter than the crust
22
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,831
but instead
I'm going to keep it to myself.
23
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,252
Oh! You always know what not to say.
24
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,338
I just-- I can't believe you did all this.
25
00:01:27,797 --> 00:01:31,217
Well, you know, it's easy to take
each other for granted
26
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:34,220
and I never wanna do that
to you because...
27
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:38,474
Your love, it's like a river.
28
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:41,352
It's peaceful and deep.
29
00:01:42,311 --> 00:01:46,357
Your soul is... It's like a secret
that I never could keep.
30
00:01:48,526 --> 00:01:50,486
You did not just quote an *NSYNC song.
31
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:54,240
I quoted your favorite *NSYNC song.
32
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,909
Ohh!
33
00:01:59,537 --> 00:02:00,538
(BURPS)
34
00:02:07,044 --> 00:02:09,880
Damn. I burped so hard I died in my game.
35
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,468
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
36
00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:42,997
Leonard, I've been meaning to ask you.
What size shoe do you wear?
37
00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:44,457
Why'?
38
00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:47,460
I'm trying to take more of an interest
in other people's lives.
39
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:52,089
That's nice.
I wear a size eight and a half.
40
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,924
(CHUCKLES) That's small.
41
00:02:56,594 --> 00:02:59,680
So, tell me,
do you have any plans for the weekend?
42
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,557
Are you gonna laugh at the answer?
43
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:04,143
Only if the answer is
"Shopping for baby shoes."
44
00:03:07,063 --> 00:03:11,108
If you must know, Penny won a spa weekend
from work and she's taking me.
45
00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,194
Oh, well, that is interesting.
46
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,613
Now I wonder what kind of infection
you'll come home with.
47
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,116
My money's on fungal.
48
00:03:22,244 --> 00:03:24,705
They're still having girls'
night across the hall.
49
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,208
So, hang outwith me
and we'll have boys' night.
50
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,544
At our age,
why don't we call it man's night?
51
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:34,006
Because we just spent our
allowance on comic books.
52
00:03:38,636 --> 00:03:41,263
Penny, is it weird
that we're having girls' night here
53
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,974
but you don't live here anymore,
so it's basically my girls' night?
54
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:45,768
Hadn't really thought about it.
55
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:48,312
But now you're thinking about it
and it bothers you. I get that.
56
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,110
Things going well with
you and Sheldon living together?
57
00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:55,403
Better than ever.
58
00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,155
He asks about my day,
takes an interest in my life.
59
00:03:58,489 --> 00:03:59,907
He's like my boyfriend in college
60
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:02,118
except he's real so people can see him.
61
00:04:05,121 --> 00:04:07,832
I've been seeing him for years.
I'm still not convinced he's real.
62
00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,337
Hey, can I ask you a question?
You've been married for a while.
63
00:04:13,504 --> 00:04:17,174
Is it normal for the husband
to kind of completely stop giving a crap?
64
00:04:18,592 --> 00:04:20,636
(SIGHS) Uh-oh, what's going on?
65
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:25,099
Leonard used to do all these things,
like bring me flowers and wear pants.
66
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,103
It's okay, Howie never has on pants.
67
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,606
The Domino's guy
brings the pizza like this now.
68
00:04:34,442 --> 00:04:36,026
Well, Sheldon always has his pants on.
69
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:37,903
I don't think I could pick
his knees out of a lineup.
70
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,198
No, it's not just the pants.
71
00:04:41,365 --> 00:04:43,826
It's like since we got married,
he doesn't really try anymore.
72
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:47,037
Uh, Penny, I don't know how to say this,
73
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:50,082
but this is my first girls' night, and
you're kind of bumming everybody out.
74
00:04:55,129 --> 00:04:56,755
All right, got Halley to sleep.
75
00:04:57,131 --> 00:04:58,632
I heard you on the baby monitor.
76
00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:01,969
Didn't think you could turn the theme
from Walking Dead into a lullaby.
77
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:08,434
(SIGHS) Got to get her hooked on TV,
or someday she'll want me to play outside.
78
00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:12,563
Boy, that floor is so squeaky.
79
00:05:12,730 --> 00:05:15,065
Surprised I didn't wake her up
walking out of the room.
80
00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,942
Have you tried anything to fix it?
81
00:05:17,693 --> 00:05:19,820
Oh, I put the rug down. Didn't help.
82
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:22,406
I know. Blue shag.
What were you thinking?
83
00:05:25,451 --> 00:05:27,953
Did try nailing
a couple of the boards down.
84
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,997
- Did that do anything?
- Yeah.
85
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,999
Left little holes in the floor.
That's why I bought the rug.
86
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,260
If you do that, I'll win in eight moves.
87
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:52,728
I'll win in five moves.
88
00:05:59,610 --> 00:06:00,611
I'll win in one move.
89
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:05,199
Oh, no! Good game.
90
00:06:09,245 --> 00:06:10,329
- Hey.
- Hey.
91
00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:14,250
Oh, Penny. I'm trying to take an interest
in other people.
92
00:06:14,542 --> 00:06:15,918
How was your girls' night?
93
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,336
It was fine.
94
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,129
Did you have anything to eat?
95
00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:20,714
Uh, chips.
96
00:06:21,215 --> 00:06:22,675
(MUTTERS) Anything to drink?
97
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,635
Some wine.
98
00:06:25,094 --> 00:06:26,971
Boy, I'm just playing tennis
against the drapes here.
99
00:06:29,557 --> 00:06:30,641
Just ignore him.
100
00:06:30,808 --> 00:06:32,268
Mmm, at least he took an interest.
101
00:06:33,060 --> 00:06:34,436
What's that supposed to mean?
102
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:35,729
Nothing.
103
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:36,981
Hey, what's going on with you?
104
00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:38,566
I don't wanna talk about it.
105
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:40,276
Oh, hey, come on. Just tell me.
106
00:06:41,777 --> 00:06:45,698
Fine. Lately, I kind of feel like
you've been taking me for granted.
107
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,576
What? Where is this coming from?
108
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:51,036
Leonard, she might be drunk.
All she had was chips.
109
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,248
It's just, since we got married,
110
00:06:54,415 --> 00:06:56,500
you seem to think
you don't have to try anymore.
111
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,586
That is ridiculous.
112
00:06:58,794 --> 00:07:00,087
This is exactly why
I didn't want to talk about it.
113
00:07:00,296 --> 00:07:01,922
No, no, no. Let's talk about it.
114
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:05,259
I'm the one who's made all the effort
in this relationship since day one.
115
00:07:05,426 --> 00:07:07,219
Please tell me what more I could do.
116
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:08,762
Okay, you know what?
117
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:11,307
Maybe I'll take Amy with me to the spa
this weekend instead.
118
00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,310
All right. Go ahead.
119
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:19,690
Amy is free.
120
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:25,487
She had a harp lesson on Saturday
but it got canceled. (STUTTERS)
121
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:30,492
Boy, when you take an interest in people
you really uncork a geyser of nonsense.
122
00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:36,540
Okay. Thanks, Daddy.
123
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,419
He said the only way to really fix
an old floor like that
124
00:07:40,628 --> 00:07:42,212
is to tear it up
and replace the whole thing.
125
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:43,756
That sounds expensive.
126
00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:48,052
Hang on. No offense to her father,
but he's not an MIT-trained engineer.
127
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,762
Thinking and building is what you do.
128
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:53,223
MIT's motto is "Mind and Hand."
Which, just so happens,
129
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:55,225
was also my motto as a lonely teenager.
130
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,102
(RAJ AND BERNADETTE CHUCKLE)
131
00:07:57,561 --> 00:08:00,147
Oh, come on,
we just need to be more creative.
132
00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,901
What if you didn't
step on the floor at all?
133
00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:07,613
Like, what if you swung on a rope
from the ceiling?
134
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:11,617
Uh... (GRUNTS)
135
00:08:15,788 --> 00:08:16,872
No.
136
00:08:17,456 --> 00:08:18,666
Okay. Um...
137
00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,377
Okay, what if you rig up a pulley system
138
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,671
and move yourself across the room
in a harness?
139
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:25,172
On! (CHUCKLES)
140
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:31,762
(SQUEAKING)
141
00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:37,643
No.
142
00:08:39,812 --> 00:08:40,854
I have one.
143
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:44,316
What if you got a giant slingshot
and flung yourself into the wall?
144
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,193
(SCOFFS)
145
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,278
-ls that supposed to be funny?
- Hold on.
146
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,032
(SCREAMING)
147
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:53,325
(SHATTERING)
148
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,371
Yeah, that's funny.
149
00:09:00,332 --> 00:09:02,459
- All right, we're heading out.
- Mmm-hmm.
150
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:04,962
I'll call you when we get to the hotel.
151
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:07,423
And if they have
any of those tiny bottles of shampoo?
152
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:10,300
I will bring them home so you can
show me how Godzilla takes a shower.
153
00:09:12,761 --> 00:09:14,555
- Have fun.
- Thanks. Are you ready?
154
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,014
Uh-huh.
155
00:09:16,432 --> 00:09:17,516
Bye, Sheldon.
156
00:09:18,142 --> 00:09:21,145
You know what? I feel uncomfortable
engaging in a public display of affection
157
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,147
while their relationship is strained.
158
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,816
Go ahead. It's fine.
159
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:28,360
- Bye.
- Bye.
160
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,869
- Okay.
- Let's go.
161
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,166
- Bye.
- Bye.
162
00:09:42,666 --> 00:09:43,667
I'll miss you.
163
00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,919
- I'll miss you, too.
- I'll miss you more.
164
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:49,465
Well, if X equals the amount that you'll
miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.
165
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:52,801
If you miss me X plus one,
I'll miss you
166
00:09:52,968 --> 00:09:54,845
open paren X plus one,
close paren--
167
00:09:58,557 --> 00:09:59,558
Thank you.
168
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,569
Here. You're sad, so I made you tea.
169
00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:13,614
Thanks.
170
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:15,199
And it's just the way you like it.
171
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:16,408
- Earl Grey?
- Yes.
172
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:18,160
- Honey? Unsweetened--
- Yes.
173
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:19,870
Good Lord, I made you tea, just drink it.
174
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:24,750
Sorry. Thank you.
175
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,378
Oh, what can we do to cheer you up?
176
00:10:28,879 --> 00:10:30,339
I really don't know.
177
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:34,092
Do you want to play Jenga?
Or Ticket to Ride?
178
00:10:34,384 --> 00:10:38,764
Hearthstone? What would you be
the happiest losing at?
179
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:45,020
- I don't want to play a game, Sheldon.
- Wow!
180
00:10:45,938 --> 00:10:48,023
I remember when
you loved playing games with me.
181
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,984
Maybe Penny isn't the only relationship
you're phoning in.
182
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:58,659
It's not that I'd stopped trying.
It's just how relationships progress.
183
00:10:59,117 --> 00:11:02,955
They start with infatuation, but over time
mellow into something more comfortable.
184
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,500
Mmm, yeah, you're right.
185
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:09,419
It's like when I first encountered
the Pythagorean theorem.
186
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:14,383
I was blown away that the square of the
hypotenuse was the sum of the squares
187
00:11:14,550 --> 00:11:17,135
of the opposite sides.
Yeah, but now I'm just like... Eh!
188
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,519
Okay, this grid represents the room.
189
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,896
All we need to do is plot out
190
00:11:28,063 --> 00:11:31,316
where each squeak is
and we can find a quiet path to the crib.
191
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:37,614
Looks like a map
from Dungeons & Dragons.
192
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,743
Mmm... Except the creature in the crib
is a level nine poop monster.
193
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,290
(SNICKERS) Okay, you check for squeaks,
and I will mark them down.
194
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:50,127
Okay. Space A3. Here we go.
195
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,795
(SQUEAKING)
196
00:11:54,631 --> 00:11:56,174
It's squeaking, mark it.
197
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,844
It's nice to think
that you grew up in this room
198
00:11:59,011 --> 00:12:00,804
and now your daughter
is going to as well.
199
00:12:01,179 --> 00:12:04,975
Mmm. I hope she has the same
amount of sex in it I did.
200
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,476
None. Next square.
201
00:12:09,354 --> 00:12:11,690
Why do you bounce
with your hands in the air like that?
202
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,526
(CHUCKLES) It's a tradition of my people.
203
00:12:14,693 --> 00:12:16,153
(SCATTING AND HUMMING)
204
00:12:20,490 --> 00:12:24,202
Material Girl needs to be retired.
That is your karaoke song.
205
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:31,209
Would you like to play
a driving game I invented?
206
00:12:32,294 --> 00:12:34,755
Is it about the failing state
of my relationship with Penny?
207
00:12:36,340 --> 00:12:37,883
Never mind.
208
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,512
You know, Penny went to this spa
to be away from you.
209
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:44,306
Are you sure you should be going there?
210
00:12:44,473 --> 00:12:46,808
I don't want to wait two days
for us to work this out.
211
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,604
Very well.
And you got married spur of the moment.
212
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,856
I don't see why your divorce
should be any different.
213
00:12:54,816 --> 00:12:57,027
I would pull this car over
and kick you out
214
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,488
but if Penny dumps me, you're all I got.
215
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:06,370
When was the last time
you got a massage?
216
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,789
Sheldon walked on my back two weeks ago
217
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,832
but that was just 'cause
there was a spider on his pillow
218
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,084
and he was trying to get away.
219
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:15,545
Leonard stood on me once, too.
220
00:13:15,712 --> 00:13:17,297
But he was just trying to see
the Rose Parade.
221
00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:19,925
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
222
00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:21,343
I don't know the protocol.
223
00:13:21,551 --> 00:13:23,053
Are you gonna be naked
for your massage?
224
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:24,596
Yeah.
225
00:13:25,013 --> 00:13:26,640
Then this is probably too many clothes.
226
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:32,312
- Hey.
- What are you doing here?
227
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,022
Came here to apologize.
228
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:37,275
Okay. Leonard, I really appreciate that
but I need a little time to myself.
229
00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:41,238
Okay, I don't get it.
You said make an effort,
230
00:13:41,405 --> 00:13:42,948
here I am making an effort.
231
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,866
Hello, Amy. It's nice to see you.
232
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:47,452
Nice to see you, too.
233
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,914
And that's how you make effort
look effortless.
234
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:54,543
All right. Can you please just go
and we'll talk about this tomorrow?
235
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,087
- I don't understand what you want.
-l'm trying to figure it out.
236
00:13:57,254 --> 00:14:00,966
If you'd like, I could whip up
a quick Relationship Agreement.
237
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,095
I'm at a spa.
Might as well do something relaxing.
238
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,765
Sheldon, why don't we
give them some privacy?
239
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,517
(SIGHS) Very well.
240
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:13,812
Hey, later, we'll check out the mini-bar.
I'll show you how Godzilla gets drunk.
241
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:21,445
So, what we did was
map out the entire room
242
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,864
to identify every squeak.
243
00:14:24,489 --> 00:14:27,409
Watch. It's easy once you get
the hang of it. (CLEARS THROAT)
244
00:14:29,119 --> 00:14:30,120
Step.
245
00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,290
Step. (GRUNTS)
246
00:14:34,833 --> 00:14:36,376
Hop on the ottoman.
247
00:14:37,753 --> 00:14:39,796
Don't do that in socks.
I almost broke my neck.
248
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,010
Then simply sit, spin, stand.
249
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:47,763
Stretch...
250
00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,306
(EXHALES)
251
00:14:51,349 --> 00:14:52,934
(SIGHS) Maybe in looser pants.
252
00:14:55,145 --> 00:15:00,150
Then step, grab, tiny pivot, pull
and you're there.
253
00:15:02,194 --> 00:15:05,405
(SIGHS) Easy-peasy, mac and...
You get the idea.
254
00:15:07,657 --> 00:15:11,161
You actually expect me to do this
while holding a baby in the dark?
255
00:15:11,328 --> 00:15:13,246
Hold on.
256
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:21,338
I don't think she was impressed.
257
00:15:21,546 --> 00:15:24,007
(PANTING) Bigger problems.
I felt something pop.
258
00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,430
There's a cucumber in my water.
259
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,516
Uh-huh.
260
00:15:34,518 --> 00:15:37,104
Do they know it's there?
(STAMMERS) Should I tell somebody?
261
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,482
It's there on purpose. It's refreshing.
262
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,614
Interesting.
263
00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,909
The world's most boring liquid
and the world's most boring vegetable,
264
00:15:51,076 --> 00:15:52,744
but you put them together and...
Bleh!
265
00:15:55,872 --> 00:15:56,873
- Hey.
- Hey.
266
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:58,917
Oh, good, you're here.
Are you still fighting?
267
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,877
If you get divorced,
do I get two Christmases?
268
00:16:02,587 --> 00:16:04,089
We're not getting divorced.
269
00:16:04,256 --> 00:16:07,175
Listen, we realized that
270
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:09,886
we're facing some new challenges
as a married couple.
271
00:16:10,137 --> 00:16:12,472
Yeah, and there are a few things
that we need to stay on top of
272
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:14,182
so we thought it would be useful...
273
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:17,894
I can't believe I am about to say this.
Um...
274
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,772
Would you please help us
make a Relationship Agreement?
275
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:27,737
But one that's tailored to us, okay?
We don't need a bathroom schedule.
276
00:16:28,405 --> 00:16:31,950
Although, a rule about him texting me
from in there might help with the romance.
277
00:16:35,078 --> 00:16:36,413
What do you say?
278
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,831
I get to write a contract?
279
00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:40,458
I say, let's get this party
of the first part started.
280
00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:41,918
(LAUGHING)
281
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:45,922
Whoo !! (CONTINUES LAUGHING)
282
00:16:47,883 --> 00:16:48,967
You really think that's funny?
283
00:16:49,134 --> 00:16:50,468
It's in our agreement, I have to laugh.
284
00:16:57,809 --> 00:17:01,354
If you find this draft acceptable,
then I believe your new
285
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,982
Relationship Agreement
is ready to be signed.
286
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:06,359
"Article eight, subsection B.
287
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:10,363
"Leonard will restrict video gaming
in underpants to hours Penny is not home.
288
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,033
"This includes boxers, briefs,
thongs, G-strings
289
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,286
"or anything else that calls attention
to his pasty little thighs."
290
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,167
Does it really need to say that?
291
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:24,753
I did this for free,
let me get a little something.
292
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,549
"Article 10, subsection C.
293
00:17:29,716 --> 00:17:32,928
"If questioned, Penny may not say that
everything is fine if it isn't.
294
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:37,390
"Other unacceptable responses include
'It's nothing,' 'Don't worry about it,'
295
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,809
"and 'I said it's nothing,
don't worry about it."'
296
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:43,480
Think this all looks good.
297
00:17:43,772 --> 00:17:44,814
Me too.
298
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:46,316
Oh, well. Great, then. Here.
299
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:51,154
You sign here, date here,
and Penny, if you could initial here
300
00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:54,658
to indicate that you're accepting
Leonard in "as is" condition.
301
00:18:02,707 --> 00:18:05,335
I remember signing
our first Relationship Agreement.
302
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:07,295
Mmm, you seem to be forgetting
the "no nostalgia" clause.
303
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,713
Right, right. Got it.
304
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,035
English - SDH
24281
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.