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1
00:00:02,170 --> 00:00:03,921
BERNADETTE:
Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,756
Hey, Stuart. What are you doing here?
3
00:00:06,090 --> 00:00:08,801
- Oh, I'm living here again.
- Do Howard and Bernadette know?
4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:13,181
Or is it like a possum in the walls
kind of thing?
5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,102
No, I needed a place to stay and,
6
00:00:18,269 --> 00:00:20,605
with the baby coming,
I figured they could use some extra help.
7
00:00:21,564 --> 00:00:23,316
Hey, tomorrow, who wants to paint
the nursery?
8
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:24,483
I'll do it.
9
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,360
Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist.
10
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:28,946
Just because you're starving,
doesn't make you an artist.
11
00:00:30,323 --> 00:00:32,533
Just because I look sickly,
doesn't mean I'm starving.
12
00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:36,913
Howard! I think I'm in labor.
13
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:41,834
Whoa, whoa, okay.
Okay, uh, I can do this. We have a plan.
14
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:44,295
Somebody please tell me the plan.
15
00:00:44,879 --> 00:00:46,464
- I'll get the hospital bag.
- I'll pull the van up.
16
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:48,799
- Meet you outside in two minutes.
- Team Baby, go!
17
00:00:53,471 --> 00:00:57,475
Oh, man. This is really happening.
You doing okay?
18
00:00:57,642 --> 00:00:59,352
Here comes another contraction.
19
00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:00,686
Let's pick it up.
20
00:01:00,853 --> 00:01:03,898
All right. Hold on, I'm going to drive
like we do in India.
21
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:08,527
-(HORN HONKS)
- Get out of the way, you syphilitic dogs!
22
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,906
Stop that, this isn't India.
23
00:01:12,198 --> 00:01:13,491
(SCOFFS) Fine.
24
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,577
What do 1.3 billion people
know about having babies?
25
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:20,373
Sorry, I know you're just trying to help.
26
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,376
- I love you.
- I love you, too. We're good.
27
00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,004
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
28
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,032
Amy? Wake up.
29
00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:58,703
What's wrong?
30
00:01:58,869 --> 00:01:59,954
It's midnight.
31
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:01,914
Happy birthday.
32
00:02:02,957 --> 00:02:05,793
(SIGHS) Sheldon.
33
00:02:07,211 --> 00:02:08,713
(BLOWS)
34
00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:12,591
Okay, you can have this back
in the morning.
35
00:02:13,718 --> 00:02:16,929
All right. This is for you.
36
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:18,681
I was going to wrap it
37
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:21,183
but touching Scotch tape
gives me the heebie-jeebies.
38
00:02:22,393 --> 00:02:24,520
I'll put it on the list
with peaches and felt.
39
00:02:27,565 --> 00:02:28,733
What is this?
40
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,193
A functional MRI of my brain.
41
00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:35,031
I did Sudoku before they took it
so I'd be ripped.
42
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,160
I love it, thank you.
43
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:40,578
And it's not just an MRI,
44
00:02:40,745 --> 00:02:43,914
the orbitofrontal cortex is lit up
because I was thinking of you.
45
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:46,125
Sheldon.
46
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,007
We seem to be moving on to the annual
47
00:02:53,174 --> 00:02:55,009
coitus portion
of your birthday festivities.
48
00:02:56,552 --> 00:02:57,553
Is that okay?
49
00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,222
I didn't put on my come-hither
plaid pj's for nothing.
50
00:03:02,433 --> 00:03:04,935
You hate Scotch tape,
but you love Scotch plaid.
51
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,103
You are a mystery.
52
00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:15,112
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
53
00:03:15,321 --> 00:03:17,948
PENNY: Guys, wake up.
Bernadette's having her baby.
54
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,825
LEONARD: Come on,
we're going to the hospital.
55
00:03:20,743 --> 00:03:21,869
I guess we should stop.
56
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,913
I'm afraid so.
57
00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:27,750
Childbirth, looming coitus?
58
00:03:27,917 --> 00:03:29,752
It's a banner night for female genitals.
59
00:03:33,589 --> 00:03:35,007
Now, I see three of you.
60
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:38,469
Do we know the father or is this
some Mamma Mia! nonsense?
61
00:03:40,388 --> 00:03:41,555
I'm the father.
62
00:03:41,972 --> 00:03:44,141
Okay, Dad,
how far apart are the contractions?
63
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,143
No idea, ask him.
64
00:03:47,770 --> 00:03:48,813
Twelve minutes.
65
00:03:48,979 --> 00:03:50,856
Twelve minutes? Why are you here?
66
00:03:51,315 --> 00:03:53,317
Aren't we supposed to get here
an hour and a half early?
67
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:56,153
This is a hospital, not the airport.
68
00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,490
I'm sorry, it's our first time.
69
00:03:59,824 --> 00:04:00,908
On, it's okay.
70
00:04:01,117 --> 00:04:03,077
This little one will be here
before you know it.
71
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:06,414
- Do we know what we're having?
- No, we're keeping it a surprise.
72
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,666
Old school, nice.
73
00:04:09,166 --> 00:04:11,836
Eh. Not that old school, he knows.
74
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:15,840
(IN SLOW TONE)
You see, I was at the doctor's office,
75
00:04:16,006 --> 00:04:19,260
the folder was right there,
so I took a peek.
76
00:04:19,427 --> 00:04:22,555
(IMITATES RAJ'S TONE) And talking
like this doesn't make it less creepy.
77
00:04:24,223 --> 00:04:25,641
Sweetheart, go home.
78
00:04:25,808 --> 00:04:28,727
Come back when the contractions
are five minutes apart for an hour.
79
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,772
I'm sorry, that's ambiguous.
ls it five minutes apart
80
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,357
starting at the top of the hour
81
00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,568
or five minutes apart
starting with the first contraction,
82
00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:37,820
so essentially, like, 65 minutes?
83
00:04:40,406 --> 00:04:42,032
I'm just throwing this out there,
84
00:04:42,283 --> 00:04:45,035
but home births
are very popular these days.
85
00:04:48,706 --> 00:04:50,458
Sheldon, what took you so long?
86
00:04:50,666 --> 00:04:52,334
Wolowitz might hand out cigars.
87
00:04:52,543 --> 00:04:55,838
I had to find my bubble gum cigar so
I could join in without looking foolish.
88
00:04:57,715 --> 00:04:59,008
Damn, I need my inhaler.
89
00:04:59,383 --> 00:05:01,510
- Just don't smoke.
- No, I went down the stairs too fast.
90
00:05:02,303 --> 00:05:03,512
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
91
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,181
Hey.
92
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:06,932
Don't come to the hospital,
we're headed home.
93
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,560
That was fast,
did she sneeze the baby out?
94
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,272
We showed up too early.
We'll keep you posted.
95
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,733
Okay. Well,
we'll talk to you guys later. Bye.
96
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,319
She said not to come,
it's going to be a while.
97
00:05:18,694 --> 00:05:20,946
(SIGHS)
Well, first deliveries can be slow.
98
00:05:21,572 --> 00:05:24,241
I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie
I bought this kid.
99
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,620
I found it, but it's empty.
100
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:29,622
Well, it doesn't matter,
we're not going to the hospital now.
101
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,874
(WHEEZING) Are you sure?
I'd really like to.
102
00:05:34,293 --> 00:05:35,836
Well, should we, uh,
103
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:37,796
head back up?
104
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:40,841
Come on, guys. We're all awake.
Why don't we go to a diner or something?
105
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:42,426
Oh, uh,
106
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,429
I don't know. Sheldon,
you don't want to do that, do you?
107
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:49,183
It doesn't matter what I want.
It's your birthday, you decide.
108
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:52,228
Oh, my God. It's your birthday.
Let's do something fun.
109
00:05:52,436 --> 00:05:53,729
- Uh ___
- Oh, we can go to a bar...
110
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,105
Well...
111
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:58,150
Okay, I can breathe again.
Babe, they want to have sex.
112
00:05:59,902 --> 00:06:04,031
Oh, of course.
The annual birthday booty spectacular.
113
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,784
That's a bit Childish, isn't it?
114
00:06:06,951 --> 00:06:09,745
I'm sorry, and what flavor
is your bubble gum cigar?
115
00:06:11,789 --> 00:06:13,582
Grape. I find it the most mild.
116
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:17,461
All right. Well, you two go have fun.
117
00:06:21,257 --> 00:06:24,051
If we find my backup inhaler
maybe we can get frisky.
118
00:06:24,635 --> 00:06:27,930
PENNY: Oh, you sexy, wheezy, little man.
119
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,643
Do you really need to record this?
120
00:06:32,935 --> 00:06:34,979
RAJ". You'll be happy I did.
121
00:06:35,813 --> 00:06:38,315
Okay, little one, here we are
122
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:41,360
back at home because you weren't
quite ready to come out yet.
123
00:06:41,819 --> 00:06:44,822
You wanted to make an entrance, I get it.
(CHUCKLES)
124
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,660
And here's your daddy.
125
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:52,371
When he tries to tell you
he used to be cool,
126
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:54,206
you can see he wasn't.
127
00:06:57,293 --> 00:06:58,836
All right, enough with the camera.
128
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,380
What? This is not for me,
this is for the baby.
129
00:07:01,547 --> 00:07:03,257
Someday she's going to want to see this.
130
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,509
I'm sorry.
131
00:07:06,135 --> 00:07:07,428
Who's going to want to see this?
132
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:13,767
(STAMMERS) I said "she"
but lots of things are she.
133
00:07:14,226 --> 00:07:18,522
Boats, cars, whales. "Thar she blows!"
134
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,776
You're doing great.
135
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:24,820
Raj.
136
00:07:25,154 --> 00:07:26,947
Okay. Uh, I'm going to sign off now,
137
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,366
this next part may contain
some adult language.
138
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,118
How could you?
139
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:34,121
We made it this far without knowing
and you ruined it.
140
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,873
Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is
141
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:37,875
to know something like this
and not say it.
142
00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:40,794
You told me it was a girl
and I didn't say it.
143
00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,171
Raj.
144
00:07:42,338 --> 00:07:44,048
You were supposed to
keep that to yourself.
145
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:47,384
Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard.
146
00:07:52,556 --> 00:07:54,808
(CHUCKLES) So, where were we?
147
00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:59,563
I believe we were kissing
like randy teenagers,
148
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:03,651
and your nose
was whistling ever so slightly.
149
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,071
- L'm sorry.
- Oh, don't be.
150
00:08:07,571 --> 00:08:09,531
You were like a foxy teakettle.
151
00:08:09,740 --> 00:08:10,991
(CHUCKLES)
152
00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:14,495
Well, shall we start over?
153
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:16,747
Very well.
154
00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:24,213
What's wrong?
155
00:08:24,838 --> 00:08:26,090
I'm not sure.
156
00:08:26,799 --> 00:08:30,511
Earlier tonight things began organically
and now it's feeling forced.
157
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,389
Like all the
Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.
158
00:08:36,767 --> 00:08:40,270
Okay, that makes sense.
I mean, the mood's a little different now.
159
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,189
We don't have to rush.
160
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:45,526
Oh, I know, but Leonard and Penny
think we're doing it.
161
00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,069
And I don't want to disappoint them.
162
00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:52,241
And the mood continues to change.
163
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,244
No, and also
I don't want to disappoint you.
164
00:08:55,411 --> 00:08:58,831
You know, come on, it's your birthday,
I can soldier through this.
165
00:09:01,125 --> 00:09:02,418
Hold on.
166
00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,380
I think I might have a little surprise
that might help
167
00:09:06,797 --> 00:09:08,507
get things back on track.
168
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:11,343
Intriguing.
169
00:09:11,552 --> 00:09:15,472
Is "back on track" a hint
that it has something to do with trains?
170
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:19,309
No.
171
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,229
Because if it did have to do with trains--
172
00:09:22,396 --> 00:09:23,439
ANN". It's not about trains.
173
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:28,444
- Not even a cozy sleeper car--
- Stop talking about trains!
174
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,322
Who's killing the mood now?
175
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,494
Found the backup inhaler.
Want to have sex?
176
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,999
- Well, I didn't until I heard that.
-(INHALES)
177
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,293
Hang on, I'm counting.
178
00:09:46,253 --> 00:09:47,254
(EXHALES) It's okay.
179
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:52,926
-(KNOCK ON DOOR)
- RAJ: (awe-some) Hello,
180
00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:57,014
Howard and Bernadette kicked me out
because I told them they're having a girl.
181
00:09:57,765 --> 00:10:00,017
Oopsie, I did it again.
182
00:10:01,310 --> 00:10:02,311
(SIGHS)
183
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,021
Maybe, if we're quiet, he'll go away.
184
00:10:04,772 --> 00:10:07,691
RAJ: (SING-SONG) You're going to have
to be quieter than that.
185
00:10:09,985 --> 00:10:11,153
Can I look yet?
186
00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,571
ANN: One second.
187
00:10:12,738 --> 00:10:14,156
-(DOOR OPENS)
-(AMY CHUCKLES LIGHTLY)
188
00:10:14,364 --> 00:10:16,033
All right, you can open your eyes.
189
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:25,542
I thought I'd let Harry Potter
make things hotter.
190
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,211
(GIGGLES)
191
00:10:29,922 --> 00:10:31,089
Wowza.
192
00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:35,677
I got a Gryffindor robe for you.
193
00:10:35,928 --> 00:10:37,054
(GASPS)
194
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:39,890
A Gryffindor sleeping with a Hufflepuff?
195
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:42,851
How scandalous.
196
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,564
You naughty girl.
197
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,401
You went to the Wizarding World theme park
without me.
198
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,614
I did, am I in trouble?
199
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,324
(GIGGLES)
200
00:10:57,616 --> 00:11:00,619
Yes, you're in trouble.
You went to Wizarding World without me.
201
00:11:01,745 --> 00:11:03,330
Wait, wait, wait. What just happened?
202
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,582
You know I've been wanting to go.
203
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:09,294
(SIGHS) Sheldon, do you really want to
argue with me on my birthday?
204
00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,423
Um, you're right. I'm sorry.
205
00:11:16,134 --> 00:11:18,554
Ooh, happy birthday to me. (CHUCKLES)
206
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:25,394
-(KNOCK ON DOOR)
- RAJ: (awe-some) Hello.
207
00:11:28,689 --> 00:11:29,982
Is this about the baby?
208
00:11:30,607 --> 00:11:33,277
No, people just keep kicking me out
everywhere I go.
209
00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:34,695
Good, then you're used to this.
210
00:11:36,947 --> 00:11:39,950
- Hey, Bernadette's water broke!
- Come on, everyone to the hospital!
211
00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,952
AMY". You have got to be kidding me!
212
00:11:48,292 --> 00:11:50,544
Just try to relax,
we'll be there any minute.
213
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,964
Stuart, stop driving like an old man,
speed it up a little.
214
00:11:54,131 --> 00:11:55,549
I'm not an old man.
215
00:11:55,924 --> 00:11:57,467
I just can't see at night.
216
00:11:59,136 --> 00:12:00,637
(GRUNTS) Here comes another one.
217
00:12:00,804 --> 00:12:03,515
Hey, squinty,
the gas pedal's on the right!
218
00:12:04,349 --> 00:12:05,684
All right, hang on.
219
00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,978
If you see any pedestrians
just call 'em out.
220
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,651
Howard and Bernadette's kid
might be born on your birthday.
221
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:15,986
How cool is that?
222
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,990
Yeah. But I thought this baby was supposed
to ruin their sex life, not mine.
223
00:12:21,617 --> 00:12:24,953
This is not how I imagined this day going.
I should be with them right now.
224
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,830
Well, it is their Child.
225
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:28,665
I know that. But, to be fair,
226
00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,085
I've spent nine months helping Bernadette
get ready for this baby.
227
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,504
Howard spent five minutes conceiving it,
228
00:12:35,505 --> 00:12:36,840
and I'm being generous.
229
00:12:38,717 --> 00:12:39,968
Five minutes?
230
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:43,013
Oh, we must be doing it wrong.
Took us hours.
231
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:52,022
And the worst part is that
they kicked me out and let Stuart stay.
232
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:55,567
I understand, but this is a special day
for them.
233
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:56,902
Can you just try and let it go?
234
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,528
She's right.
235
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:01,573
Now, ljust learned
Amy went to a theme park without me,
236
00:13:01,823 --> 00:13:03,492
but I'm not going to ruin her birthday.
237
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:07,913
I'll wait and ruin 24 individual hours
sprinkled throughout the year.
238
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,334
Boop.
239
00:13:14,878 --> 00:13:16,129
(GRUNTS)
240
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,548
Deep breaths, slow breaths.
241
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,677
I'm so thirsty. Give me more ice chips.
242
00:13:22,386 --> 00:13:23,804
(CRUNCHING)
243
00:13:27,933 --> 00:13:29,267
Sorry.
244
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,228
I thought these were room ice chips.
245
00:13:33,230 --> 00:13:34,439
I'll go get some more.
246
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:37,234
Uh, Stuart, while you're out there,
don't come back.
247
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,572
-(HOWARD CHUCKLES)
-(DOOR CLOSES)
248
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,492
So, what are we going to name this kid?
249
00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:48,412
Now that we know she's a girl,
250
00:13:48,578 --> 00:13:51,456
it kind of ruins my plan
for Wally Wolowitz.
251
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,127
We could name her after your mom.
252
00:13:55,627 --> 00:13:56,920
Debbie? (CHUCKLES)
253
00:13:57,295 --> 00:13:59,381
No, she hated that name.
254
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:01,133
Did she have a middle name?
255
00:14:01,299 --> 00:14:02,467
Melvina.
256
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:05,929
Let's keep thinking.
257
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:09,933
(SIGHS)
258
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:12,352
It sucks that she's not here.
259
00:14:13,562 --> 00:14:14,771
- I know.
-(CHUCKLES)
260
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:17,524
She would've been the best grandma.
261
00:14:19,109 --> 00:14:20,819
She did always have candy in her pocket.
262
00:14:20,986 --> 00:14:23,363
(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah. I was
263
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:28,035
twenty years old before I figured out
Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm.
264
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,456
I didn't know her five minutes
and she asked
265
00:14:32,831 --> 00:14:35,917
(IMITATES MRS. WOLOWITZ)
"Are you a Milky Way or a Snickers girl?"
266
00:14:37,919 --> 00:14:40,130
Thank God you answered right,
we wouldn't be here today.
267
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:44,968
It's hard to believe
Howard's having a kid.
268
00:14:45,135 --> 00:14:46,136
Yeah.
269
00:14:46,344 --> 00:14:48,096
Penny, you're the one
who introduced him to Bernie.
270
00:14:48,263 --> 00:14:50,140
How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?
271
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,977
And it's not just Howard and Bernadette.
272
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:55,979
Look how far we've all come.
273
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:58,648
- You two got married.
-(PENNY CHUCKLES)
274
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,317
Sheldon and I are living together.
275
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,819
But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds.
276
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:08,325
Penny was a struggling actress when we met
and now she's
277
00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:10,452
a successful pharmaceutical rep.
278
00:15:10,619 --> 00:15:13,497
You don't have to say struggling
every time, you can just say actress.
279
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,666
Howard went to space.
280
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:18,335
Bernadette got her doctorate.
281
00:15:18,502 --> 00:15:22,506
Sheldon, Howard, and I are working with
the government on our quantum gyroscope.
282
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,883
We have all come a long way.
283
00:15:25,050 --> 00:15:26,468
There's a lot to be proud of.
284
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:31,473
For God's sake, just drive in the knife,
why don't you?
285
00:15:33,809 --> 00:15:35,977
- What's your problem?
- You're all thinking it.
286
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:38,688
I'm the only one who hasn't done
anything worthwhile.
287
00:15:38,939 --> 00:15:40,398
I was not thinking it.
288
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:42,984
Although, now that you've point it out,
it is undeniable.
289
00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,655
Raj, if it's any consolation,
290
00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,074
I'm no better off
than I was 10 years ago.
291
00:15:49,825 --> 00:15:51,660
Oh, YaY-
292
00:15:52,869 --> 00:15:55,872
I have a doctorate in astrophysics
and I'm every bit as awesome
293
00:15:56,039 --> 00:15:58,208
as the pasty-faced owner
of a comic book store.
294
00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:01,211
Raj, show some compassion.
295
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,880
Those are things that we think
but don't say.
296
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:09,886
Excuse me.
297
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:12,222
Sorry, Stuart.
298
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:14,641
Hey, I'm in a hospital
and I'm not the patient,
299
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,101
I'm fine.
300
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:19,729
- Come on, Bernie. Breathe.
-(PANTING)
301
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:21,565
Remember what you learned
in birthing class.
302
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:24,609
I remember thinking "This is stupid,"
and I was right.
303
00:16:26,695 --> 00:16:27,946
Do you want me to get the nurse?
304
00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:30,949
No. If one more person puts
their fingers near my uterus
305
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:33,201
I'm going to cross my legs
and snap 'em off.
306
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:40,959
I've come to peace with my relationship
with my parents.
307
00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:43,003
That was a big milestone for me.
308
00:16:43,420 --> 00:16:45,213
Oh, speaking of personal growth.
309
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:47,883
I recently tried eating Swiss chard.
310
00:16:50,719 --> 00:16:53,180
Now, I didn't swallow it,
but Amy said it counted.
311
00:16:56,391 --> 00:16:58,310
- Hey.
- Hey.
312
00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,605
(CLEARS THROAT)
313
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:05,442
You still a loser or did you
turn things around while you were gone?
314
00:17:08,236 --> 00:17:10,572
You know, Raj, honey,
you're being too hard on yourself.
315
00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:12,657
When I first met you,
you couldn't even talk to women.
316
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:14,993
You couldn't even talk
if one was in the room.
317
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:16,703
Great, now I can say things like,
318
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:18,622
"I can't believe
you're breaking up with me.
319
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:20,832
"Why are you breaking up with me?
320
00:17:21,958 --> 00:17:23,418
"Yes, I'll still help you move."
321
00:17:25,962 --> 00:17:27,339
Anyone else want to try?
322
00:17:27,964 --> 00:17:29,633
Uh, yeah. I got something.
323
00:17:30,467 --> 00:17:33,261
Raj, not everybody can be a dog owner.
324
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:38,725
Oh, what, did your doggie
break up with you, too?
325
00:17:41,186 --> 00:17:44,773
Hey, I bought M&M's at the vending machine
and two bags came out.
326
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:47,234
I bought the first one, it didn't fall.
327
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:49,986
Here.
328
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,451
She's here, the baby's here.
329
00:17:56,660 --> 00:17:58,370
-(PENNY SQUEALS)
- RAJ: Congratulations.
330
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:01,873
- How's Bernadette?
- Tired, but great. They're both great.
331
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,416
Does the baby have a name yet?
332
00:18:03,833 --> 00:18:06,711
- We have named her Halley.
- Aw.
333
00:18:07,045 --> 00:18:08,880
- Like Halley's comet.
- Exactly.
334
00:18:09,047 --> 00:18:10,674
Also like the comet, Bernadette said
335
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,093
she's not going to have sex with me
for another 75 years.
336
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:16,554
That's not a real thing. He's just joking.
337
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:20,183
I'm going to get back.
Thank you for staying up.
338
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:23,186
I can't wait for Halley to meet her
new aunts and uncles
339
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:24,896
and godfather.
340
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,066
- Really?
- Of course.
341
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:33,363
You hear that, Stuart? I've got a dog
and a godchild, you have nothing!
342
00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,580
Oh, look at all the babies.
343
00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:45,500
Some will be successful.
344
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:47,085
Some may be homeless.
345
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:51,589
It's fun to think about.
346
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,177
I wonder which one's Halley.
347
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:57,887
It's kind of hard to see the names.
348
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,056
Mmm. That one kind of
looks like Bernadette.
349
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,891
They all look the same to me.
350
00:19:02,350 --> 00:19:06,896
Guys, she's my goddaughter.
I think I'll know when I see her.
351
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:10,066
(BABY BAWLING IN HOARSE VOICE)
352
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,616
That one.
353
00:19:18,825 --> 00:19:20,285
(CONTINUES BAWLING)
354
00:19:25,874 --> 00:19:28,251
- Well, that was quite a day.
- It was.
355
00:19:29,294 --> 00:19:32,714
Bernadette had her baby,
I made it to Wizarding World,
356
00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:36,259
and now it is time
to complete your birthday celebration.
357
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,678
Hankius-Pankius.
358
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,767
I was afraid you'd be too tired.
359
00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,270
Amy, ljust saw a magic train
360
00:19:47,479 --> 00:19:49,898
and reported somebody
for cutting the line.
361
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,486
If that's not foreplay,
I don't know what is.
362
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:57,864
(AMY CHUCKLES)
363
00:20:27,268 --> 00:20:28,269
English - SDH
27993
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