All language subtitles for The.Big.Bang.Theory.S10E10.The.Property.Division.Collision.720p.BluRay.x264.Pahe

If we're going to be
staying in this apartment,

would you be interested
in doing a little redecorating?

Oh, actually, I would.

Great, what'd you have in mind?

Let's take every single thing
from the other apartment,

and put it in here.

Well, how about we start a little smaller?

Like moving the furniture around.

You know, I have always thought that
this couch would look fantastic

on the curb in front of the building.

Look, we can't just throw away
Penny's stuff,

but we can ask
if she wants any of it back.

You know, I wonder how she feels
about all this artwork.

Well, I'm sure she misses this one.

I mean, it's the greatest gift
I've ever given anybody.

It truly does capture the beauty
of your friendship with Penny.

It may have appreciated in value.

You know, the artist killed himself
shortly after painting that.

Yeah, it seems only right
that she have it back.

Can't wait to see the look on
her face when I give it to her again.

Look, it's the same smile
she has in the painting.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Yeah, there's hooks in the closet,
I can hang it right now.

Oh, no, no, those hooks are gone.

What happened to them?

Uh, we ran out of candy on Halloween,
I was just giving everything away.

Hey, guys, what are you--
Oh, that's here, cool.

Amy wants me to have it.

Well, it would be selfish of me
to keep it.

But it's a picture of you.

And you.

But you commissioned it.

To give to you.

But you like it so much.

So do you.

- I seem to be losing.
- Yes, you do.

You know, Leonard,
the more I think about it,

there are a number of mutually owned items
in this apartment

that you and I should go through.

For example,

who gets our beloved sword, Longclaw?

Why don't you keep it?

That seems fair,
we did just give you the painting.

Yeah, I don't need anything around
that I can stab myself with.

How wonderful, Longclaw is mine.

And how about you keep our avocado plant?

Sounds right,
a limited edition collectible

worth hundreds of dollars,

and a thing that grew out of a thing
we fished from the trash.

Although, Amy and I did just
move in together,

and a plant is a lovely housewarming gift.

Fine, take the plant.

Oh, we got a sword and a plant.
Our apartment's really shaping up.

Stuart, you didn't have to get us
a baby gift.

Just homemade coupons for things you might
need help with before the baby gets here.

Going to the grocery store,
driving you to the doctor.

If you're not in a hurry,
I can dig you a koi pond.

A foot massage?

And that's not me being creepy,
that's for either of you.

This is very nice, Stuart, thank you.

How come this one's on the back
of an eviction notice?

Oh, yeah. Now that you mention it,
can I live here?

Stuart, we'd love to help you out,
but this a bad time.

We're about to have a baby.

Or is that why this is a great time?
Think about it.

When that baby comes, you're gonna need
all the help you can get.

Thank you, but I'm not really sure.

Hang on, maybe it's not the worst idea.

I mean, he did do a good job
taking care of my mother.

That woman didn't get heat rash once
with me on powder patrol.

Hey, I guess you could stay for a few days
and we'll see how it goes.

Thank you. And it's only temporary,
just till I get back on my feet,

or the baby goes off to college,
whichever happens first.

When would you move in?

Well, my car broke down in your driveway,
so I'm gonna say now.

But I am ready to be helpful.
In fact, gonna go vacuum.

Mmm. Actually ljust did that
this morning.

Okay. Then I'll dust.

I did that, too.

Then I'll check the batteries
in the smoke detectors.

Howard just did that.

Yeah, let him do it.

(SHELDON GASPS)

Remember when we got this at Comic-Con?

Oh, yeah. The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Live long and prosper.
Live long and prosper.

Live long and prosper.
Live long and prosper.

It's one of a kind.

So if it breaks there'd be none of it?

Well, Leonard, who should keep this?

On the one hand, I love Mr. Spock
more than you do.

But on the other hand,
I care more about clocks than you do.

So you think you should keep it?

I'll be right across the hall.
You'll probably be able to hear it.

Keep the clock, Sheldon.

- Thank you.
- Thank you.

Thank you?

Oh. Now, what about our 3-D chess set?

Let me guess, you want it.

Well, no, ljust didn't think you'd want
a physical reminder

of a game you never managed to win.

As a kindness,
I should probably take all the games.

You know what, Sheldon, take it.

In fact, you can have everything.
I really don't care.

Are you sure? These items represent
our shared times together.

- Well, now they're yours.
- Leonard...

Well, you know what's gonna happen.

He's just gonna come up with some reason
why everything should be his.

For a man so good at predicting my moves,
how come you stink at 3-D chess?

Sheldon, you're being a little selfish.

Why don't you let Leonard
keep a few things?

It's not my fault I'm bad at sharing,
I skipped kindergarten.

You know what?
There is one thing I would like.

Take whatever you want.

I would like to keep
the official flag of our apartment.

But you don't even like flags.

I like this one.

But I designed it.

But you made me order it because you were
"too well-known in the flag community

"and they'd jack up the price."

But you don't even understand
its symbolism.

Oh, I do. The field of blue represents
you being miserable,

and the lion sticking its tongue out
means I'm happy about it.

Come along, Amy.

I know when I'm not wanted.

I don't think you do, but all right.

Stuart, you cooked?

How did you know it wasn't me?

There's only three people in this house,
and you'd still be my fifth guess.

-(DOORBELL RINGS)
- That's Raj.

You guys relax, I'll get it.

- Have some bread while it's still warm...
-(HOWARD CHUCKLES)

It's like we have a butler.
If I had a Batsuit I'd be Bruce Wayne.

You have a Batsuit.

It's pajamas, there's no cape.

- Hey, Raj.
- Hey, Stuart. What are you doing here?

Oh, I'm living here again.

Do Howard and Bernadette know?

Or is it like a possum in the walls
kind of thing?

No, I needed a place to stay and,

with the baby coming,
I figured they could use some extra help.

Okay, cool.

Anyway, come on in, dinner's ready.

- Oh, but I bought Chinese takeout.
- Oh.

Okay. Well, if Bernadette wants her ankles
to swell up even more,

she can have that.

Is the Wi-Fi working for you?

Uh, hang on.

I don't think so, I'm clicking on
"One weird trick for a flat belly,"

but I'm still seeing
"Celebrities who look like their pets."

- I knew it, Sheldon changed the password.
- Are you sure?

Well, the new network name is,
"Ha, ha, ha, now I've got you."

So, it's either Sheldon
or Gargamel from The Smurfs.

What a jerk.

You're good at revenge.
How do we get him back?

Well, my go-to move is usually
sleep with the person's boyfriend,

but I kind of feel like
I'm already doing that.

Sheldon, I know what you did,
now change the password back.

Well, powder me in sugar
and call me a donut,

if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.

Sheldon, I'm warning you,
I can play this game, too.

If it's like your 3-D chess game,

then you're out of your length, width
and depth.

Amy, get the Neosporin,
somebody just got burned.

All right, I tried.

"All right, I tried."

That should be
the title of your autobiography.

Ooh, a second-degree burn.

I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?

It's a good thing you're cute.

So, I was reading how it's a good idea

for new parents
to take an infant CPR class.

Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.

Oh, I know a CPR instructor
who'll come to the house.

- That'd be great.
- STUART: I'll give him a call.

We met when I was sleeping on the beach
and he thought I was dead.

Thank you again for cooking.

It's getting tough for me
to be on my feet all day.

You just kick back and relax.
I've got it all under control.

Although it was already under control.
(CLEARS THROAT)

I'm sorry, you mumbled something?

It's just that they've had plenty of help.

Well, you know what they say,
it takes a village.

(CHUCKLES)
Well, they already had a village.

I noticed the village couldn't find time
to put the crib together.

Yeah, well, maybe the village was too busy

checking out the local Montessori school
for the new arrival.

You mean the one with
the empty beer bottles in the sandbox?

We'll pass, thank you.

Do something, Batman.

-(GASPS)
- Hey.

What do you think you're doing?

Separating my delicates.

This is the level you're stooping to?

No. This is the level I am stooping to.

I believe that is
flag to crotch four, checkmate.

Easy-peasy, oh, so breezy.

Hey, what's up?

I'm here to put the crib together.

Oh, sorry, I already did it.

Oh, I don't know if you realize this,
but I bought that crib.

Oh, yeah, I read about that
on WhoGivesACrap.com.

Why are you being like this?

Because I love Howard and Bernadette,

and if I want to keep mooching off them,
I need to be helpful.

Hey, this pregnancy had
an emotionally-needy third wheel

way before you came along.

Why can't there be four wheels?

Is this what you do when I'm not here,
make really good points?

Well, look, just come in
and help me build a baby swing.

Thank you.

If you're hungry you can eat your takeout.
Nobody touched it.

I think I'm gonna go for a run.
You want to come?

No, last time that old lady in the park
kept screaming,

"Watch out, he's right behind you."

- Hello?
- Hey, how you doin'?

Uh... Can I help you?

I don't think so,
but you're sweet for asking.

What are you doing in our apartment?

Oh, I rented a room from your neighbor.

Tall guy, dressed like a little boy?

Unbelievable. Okay, uh, I don't know what
he told you, but you can't stay here.

So, there are fresh linens
on the bed... Oh!

Well, I see you've met Theodore.

Theodore, these are your new roommates,
Leonard and Penny.

They're very honest,
but I would not leave cash lying around.

Sheldon, what do you think you're doing?

My room is paid up
until the end of the month,

so I can do with it whatever I please,

which includes renting it out
for a dollar a night.

It's like the '40s again.

Anyway, I'll leave you be. I have to--
Oh, oh!

He's expecting a newspaper in the morning.

Yeah, apparently, they still make them.

All right, Sheldon, this is over the line.

Yeah, that's true, but had I done
something under the line,

there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen
who can't produce a single form of ID.

(STAMMERS)
I have a receipt from a blood bank.

I'm O negative.

And now you know as much about him
as I do.

Oh, hey, Bernadette, the swing comes
with two different mobiles.

The giraffes are pretty cute,
what do you think?

Great, go with the giraffes.

Although the high contrast
of zebra stripes

might provide better stimulus
for a developing baby.

Yeah, you're probably right,
go with the zebras.

Good choice, boss.

At least my nose is naturally brown.

Hey, could you please
go to the market for me?

Get Stuart or Raj to do it.

Howie, they've been doing
everything for you.

Hmm, I know. It's really making me
lose respect for both of them.

Please just go to the store.

Fine.

Who wants to drive me to the store?

RAJ: Me!
STUART: I'll do it!

Take Raj.
Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.

(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)

What do you think?
Should we go to a hotel?

And just leave him here alone?

Okay, I'll go to a hotel. Text me
in the morning if you're still alive.

Theodore, how long are you planning
to stay exactly?

Thanks to the coins I found in your couch,
day longer than I thought.

This is ridiculous.

(DOOR OPENS)

I like the painting. ls that your mom?

Sheldon, get out here!

Will you keep it down?

What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast
do you think I'm running?

We lived together 13 years.
How can you be so awful to me?

I'm being awful? You're the one who
went out of your way to hurt me.

Because you were being selfish.

Dividing our belongings is difficult.

Why? I said I didn't care!

Excuse me.

It's none of my business,

but it sounds like a lot of this anger
is coming from love.

Thanks, but nobody asked you.

Well, I'm just gonna keep on talking.

Seems like, with Sheldon moving out,
you're in a new phase of your lives,

and it's easier to fight than to face the
feelings that you have for one another.

I think he might be right.

Also, who is that?

I have to admit,

leaving you to move in with Amy has been
harder than I thought it would be.

For me, too.
It's not the same with you gone.

If you're looking for a new guy
to live with--

- No!
- We're okay. Thank you.

So, no one's gonna tell me? Okay.

Leonard, I would like us to stop fighting
about our possessions.

Well, I'd like that, too.

In fact, I want you to keep
the apartment flag,

and I'm not just saying that
because it touched your genitals.

- Promise?
- I do.

And to show you
that there are no hard feelings,

lam willing to rub my genitals
on it as well.

Well, if we're rubbing genitals on things,
that's where I shine.

Little lower to the left.

A little more.

Good?

No, still hideous.

Well, I'm sure at some point,
we won't even notice it's there.

Yeah, you'd think that, but after a while
it starts showing up in your dreams.

I think it brings the room together.

Hey, tomorrow, who wants to paint
the nursery?

I'll do it.

Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist.

Just because you're starving,
doesn't make you an artist.

Just because I look sickly,
doesn't mean I'm starving.

BERNADETTE'. Howard!

Guys, you heard her,
go see what she wants.

I think I'm in labor.

Whoa, whoa, okay.
Okay, uh, I can do this. We have a plan.

Somebody please tell me the plan.

- I'll get the hospital bag.
- I'll pull the van up.

- Meet you outside in two minutes.
- Team Baby, go!

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

Are we hugging or having a baby? Let's go!

English - SDH