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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,562 Do you think... 2 00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:07,159 ...that the security guards in art museums... 3 00:00:07,329 --> 00:00:10,401 ...really ever stop anybody from taking the paintings? 4 00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:14,281 I mean, are they going, "Hey, where do you think you're going with that? 5 00:00:14,449 --> 00:00:17,361 Come over here. Give me that Cézanne." 6 00:00:17,529 --> 00:00:20,282 I mean, look at the job that this man is hired to do. 7 00:00:20,449 --> 00:00:22,758 He's getting $5 an hour to protect... 8 00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:26,558 ...millions of dollars of priceless art, with what? 9 00:00:26,729 --> 00:00:29,448 He's got a light mocha brown uniform... 10 00:00:29,609 --> 00:00:32,362 ...and a USA Today. This is what he's got. 11 00:00:32,569 --> 00:00:36,403 Crooks must look at this guy and go, "We get past the folding chair... 12 00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:38,958 ...and the thermos of coffee, we can get a Rembrandt." 13 00:00:48,929 --> 00:00:51,966 Kramer, would you hold still? I can't do this if you keep moving. 14 00:00:52,449 --> 00:00:55,361 You sure you don't want me to take my clothes off? 15 00:00:55,849 --> 00:00:57,123 Because I'll do it. 16 00:00:58,249 --> 00:01:00,809 No, that's the last thing in the world I want you to do. 17 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,520 Well, why don't you take your clothes off? 18 00:01:04,689 --> 00:01:06,805 I don't know, I don't think Jerry would like that. 19 00:01:06,969 --> 00:01:08,880 Well, it'll be our little secret. 20 00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:14,242 God! 21 00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:18,888 Button fly! 22 00:01:19,049 --> 00:01:21,279 Why do they put buttons on a fly? 23 00:01:21,449 --> 00:01:24,043 It takes 10 minutes to get these things open. 24 00:01:24,689 --> 00:01:26,566 I like the button fly. 25 00:01:26,729 --> 00:01:28,959 - What? - That is one place on my wardrobe... 26 00:01:29,129 --> 00:01:32,326 ...I do not need sharp, interlocking metal teeth. 27 00:01:32,729 --> 00:01:35,038 It's like a mink trap down there. 28 00:01:35,689 --> 00:01:37,600 I'm gonna develop kidney problems. 29 00:01:38,449 --> 00:01:40,167 - What are you doing today? - Nothing. 30 00:01:40,329 --> 00:01:43,639 I have to go meet Nina. Want to come up to her loft, check out her paintings? 31 00:01:43,809 --> 00:01:46,562 - I don't get art. - There's nothing to get. 32 00:01:46,729 --> 00:01:48,321 It always has to be explained to me... 33 00:01:48,489 --> 00:01:51,208 ...and then I have to have someone explain the explanation. 34 00:01:52,009 --> 00:01:55,718 She does abstract stuff. In fact, she's painting Kramer right now. 35 00:01:55,889 --> 00:01:58,881 - What for? - She sees something in him. 36 00:01:59,049 --> 00:02:01,609 So do I, but I wouldn't hang it on a wall. 37 00:02:03,529 --> 00:02:05,042 Are you getting the eyes? 38 00:02:05,609 --> 00:02:06,803 Because they're brown. 39 00:02:06,969 --> 00:02:10,803 Really, they're dark brown, like rich Colombian coffee. 40 00:02:13,369 --> 00:02:14,722 Tell me about Elaine. 41 00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,125 You know, she and Jerry were a big thing... 42 00:02:17,289 --> 00:02:19,166 ...like Abe Lincoln and Mary Todd. 43 00:02:20,809 --> 00:02:23,926 - But they're still friends. - Yeah, yeah. They're like this: 44 00:02:25,089 --> 00:02:28,240 - Don't you think that's strange? - Why? What's the difference? 45 00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:32,169 Are you still friends with any of your ex-girlfriends? 46 00:02:32,449 --> 00:02:34,883 Well, you know, I... 47 00:02:35,049 --> 00:02:37,244 I have many relationships. 48 00:02:39,529 --> 00:02:41,884 - I tell you, I'm a little nervous. - Why? 49 00:02:42,049 --> 00:02:44,927 You know, the friend meeting the new woman. 50 00:02:45,089 --> 00:02:48,001 I feel like I'm getting fixed up for a friendship. 51 00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:50,566 I don't know how long this is gonna last. 52 00:02:50,729 --> 00:02:52,959 Really? I thought you liked her. 53 00:02:53,249 --> 00:02:55,080 I do, but she's got, like, a jealousy thing. 54 00:02:55,249 --> 00:02:57,604 She doesn't like me having fun with anyone but her. 55 00:02:57,929 --> 00:03:00,204 You know, it's a miracle you're not married. 56 00:03:05,609 --> 00:03:08,203 Hey, I'm not obligated to buy anything, am I? 57 00:03:08,529 --> 00:03:10,520 - Hi, Nina. - Hi. 58 00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:12,168 - This is my friend George. - Hello. 59 00:03:12,329 --> 00:03:14,240 Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. 60 00:03:14,409 --> 00:03:16,127 Hey, look at this guy! 61 00:03:18,409 --> 00:03:20,639 I brought George up to see some of your paintings. 62 00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,640 Oh, are you interested? 63 00:03:26,089 --> 00:03:27,681 Yeah, sure. Sure, I'm interested. 64 00:03:27,849 --> 00:03:30,124 George, you gonna buy a painting? 65 00:03:30,729 --> 00:03:32,321 Yeah, sure. 66 00:03:32,489 --> 00:03:36,482 - Are you an art lover? - I am an art adorer. I adore art. 67 00:03:37,209 --> 00:03:40,485 Great. Take a look around. Pick something out you like. 68 00:03:42,449 --> 00:03:43,848 May I? 69 00:03:44,929 --> 00:03:46,760 Get out of here. 70 00:03:47,489 --> 00:03:48,683 Here. Play with this. 71 00:03:48,849 --> 00:03:51,204 - What's this? - My father gave me four tickets... 72 00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:53,724 ...to the Yankee game for Saturday afternoon. 73 00:03:53,889 --> 00:03:56,608 Owner's box, first row, behind the dugout. 74 00:03:56,969 --> 00:03:59,529 Saturday! I'm working. I'm going out of town. 75 00:04:00,489 --> 00:04:02,605 Well, I won't go without you. You guys want them? 76 00:04:02,769 --> 00:04:04,202 Yeah. 77 00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:06,929 They're right behind the dugout, George. First row. 78 00:04:07,089 --> 00:04:09,808 Behind the dugout? Are you kid-? How did you get them? 79 00:04:09,969 --> 00:04:13,279 My father's the Yankees' accountant. It's the owner's box. 80 00:04:13,449 --> 00:04:17,124 All my life I've dreamed of sitting front row, behind the dugout. 81 00:04:18,169 --> 00:04:20,205 You like that one? 82 00:04:23,969 --> 00:04:25,197 Look at where we are! 83 00:04:25,369 --> 00:04:28,679 He's not stopping. He keeps going and going and going. 84 00:04:29,729 --> 00:04:30,923 We're not in the first row? 85 00:04:31,089 --> 00:04:34,923 - No, no. These are your seats. - She said first row behind the dugout. 86 00:04:35,089 --> 00:04:36,761 It's the second row. It's just as good. 87 00:04:36,929 --> 00:04:40,126 I was primed for the first row. I was gonna put my feet on the dugout. 88 00:04:40,289 --> 00:04:43,406 Shut up. These are great. You can't get any better than this. 89 00:04:43,569 --> 00:04:45,605 There's better. Right there. That's better. 90 00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:46,963 All right. 91 00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:48,648 Oh, boy. 92 00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:51,369 - All right. Who wants a dog? - Yeah. Here you go. 93 00:04:51,929 --> 00:04:53,157 What a great day. 94 00:04:53,329 --> 00:04:55,889 I could've been at my boss' son's bris right now. 95 00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:57,648 That what you were supposed to do? 96 00:04:57,809 --> 00:04:59,003 Yeah. 97 00:04:59,169 --> 00:05:01,967 What makes him think anyone wants to witness a circumcision? 98 00:05:02,129 --> 00:05:04,085 I'd rather go to a hanging. 99 00:05:04,249 --> 00:05:06,968 Is it that unattractive to have to take it off? 100 00:05:07,689 --> 00:05:09,168 Have you ever seen one with it? 101 00:05:09,329 --> 00:05:10,603 No. 102 00:05:11,169 --> 00:05:13,319 You wouldn't even know what it was. 103 00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,362 Anyway, I called him back. 104 00:05:17,529 --> 00:05:22,159 I told him I had to visit my father in the hospital in Maryland. 105 00:05:22,329 --> 00:05:25,605 You better catch it here, Charlie, because this ain't Philadelphia! 106 00:05:25,769 --> 00:05:27,327 - George? - Yeah? 107 00:05:27,489 --> 00:05:30,322 Hi. I'm Leonard West. 108 00:05:30,489 --> 00:05:33,561 - Nina's father. - Hi, hi, Mr. West. I'm sorry. 109 00:05:33,729 --> 00:05:35,128 - This is my friend Elaine. - Hi. 110 00:05:35,289 --> 00:05:39,441 Hey,.230 ain't gonna cut it in this town, babe! 111 00:05:39,609 --> 00:05:41,167 This is Kramer. 112 00:05:41,329 --> 00:05:42,887 Hey, how you doing? 113 00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:46,482 Yes! Yes! 114 00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,767 - How are the seats? - Okay. 115 00:05:50,929 --> 00:05:52,760 - Great. They're great. - I hear you bought... 116 00:05:52,929 --> 00:05:55,204 - ... one of Nina's paintings. - It's being framed now. 117 00:05:55,369 --> 00:05:56,768 I don't even know what it costs. 118 00:05:57,009 --> 00:05:58,761 Not too expensive, is it? 119 00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,647 Not if you have a lot of money. 120 00:06:01,489 --> 00:06:04,003 It was cheaper for me when she was an actress. 121 00:06:08,049 --> 00:06:09,243 Well... 122 00:06:10,129 --> 00:06:11,926 - Enjoy the game. - Thanks. 123 00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:14,364 I think you better take off the Orioles cap. 124 00:06:14,529 --> 00:06:15,848 Yeah. I better. 125 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,920 No, no. Seriously. You're in the owner's box. 126 00:06:18,089 --> 00:06:20,045 I don't think it's a good idea. 127 00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:23,121 - You're not serious. - Yes, yes, yes, I am. 128 00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,598 - Did he say that? - No, but he gave me the seats. 129 00:06:26,769 --> 00:06:29,078 I don't think he'd like you wearing an Orioles cap. 130 00:06:29,249 --> 00:06:31,205 - Maybe you should ask him. - I don't have to. 131 00:06:31,369 --> 00:06:33,121 Are you gonna take the hat off or not? 132 00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:34,517 No. I'm not gonna take it off. 133 00:06:34,689 --> 00:06:36,168 Why should I? That's ridiculous. 134 00:06:36,329 --> 00:06:37,887 Just take the cap off. 135 00:06:38,049 --> 00:06:40,609 George, I am at a baseball game. 136 00:06:40,769 --> 00:06:42,361 - This is America. - Look! 137 00:06:42,529 --> 00:06:44,838 Either you take the cap off or you leave. 138 00:06:45,009 --> 00:06:46,283 I'm not taking it off. 139 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,838 - Elaine, just take the cap off. - No! Get off of my hat! 140 00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:50,647 - What's-? - What do you mean?! 141 00:06:50,809 --> 00:06:52,367 - Stop it! - Just take it off! 142 00:06:54,449 --> 00:06:55,802 - There's your cap! - Let's go. 143 00:06:55,969 --> 00:06:59,006 Oh, my God. All right, get your hands off of me! 144 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:02,206 - I'm leaving. - Wait a minute. We just got here. 145 00:07:02,369 --> 00:07:03,802 Do you want us to go with you? 146 00:07:04,609 --> 00:07:06,201 - No, you stay. - Get your cap, George. 147 00:07:06,369 --> 00:07:08,360 - Well, I was just thinking- - Yeah. Stay! 148 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,599 All right, all right, we'll go, we'll go. 149 00:07:18,369 --> 00:07:22,078 And then the ball hits him in the head, and he falls right over the railing. 150 00:07:22,329 --> 00:07:25,082 - Is he okay? - Well, yeah, he's fine. 151 00:07:25,249 --> 00:07:28,480 We took him to the emergency room. The x-rays were all negative. 152 00:07:28,889 --> 00:07:31,198 It was quite a day. 153 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:33,405 This is the most amazing story I've ever heard. 154 00:07:33,569 --> 00:07:35,605 Why did he want you to take off the baseball cap? 155 00:07:35,769 --> 00:07:37,168 - That is so insane. - I know. 156 00:07:37,329 --> 00:07:39,399 Can you imagine that? 157 00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:46,198 - How you feeling? - Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine. 158 00:07:46,449 --> 00:07:48,041 Hi, Carol. 159 00:07:48,529 --> 00:07:50,440 Hey, look. We made the paper. 160 00:07:52,529 --> 00:07:55,521 Look at this. Page two, sports section. We're all in the picture. 161 00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,088 - Picture? - Picture. 162 00:07:57,249 --> 00:07:59,558 - Our picture's in there? What? - Yeah. 163 00:08:00,049 --> 00:08:02,005 I cannot believe this. 164 00:08:02,169 --> 00:08:04,239 - There's George. - Look at him. 165 00:08:04,409 --> 00:08:06,286 Oh, my God! Lippman could see this! 166 00:08:06,449 --> 00:08:08,804 He thinks I was visiting my father. Oh, my God! 167 00:08:08,969 --> 00:08:13,485 I make up one little white lie, and they put my picture in the paper! 168 00:08:15,649 --> 00:08:17,002 Hi, Mr. Lippman. 169 00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:19,767 How's your father? 170 00:08:22,049 --> 00:08:23,721 My- My father. 171 00:08:23,889 --> 00:08:26,198 Yeah. You went to see him, right? 172 00:08:26,369 --> 00:08:27,961 Yeah. 173 00:08:28,129 --> 00:08:30,484 - I went to visit him. - So... 174 00:08:30,649 --> 00:08:34,642 - ... what was wrong with him? - Well, you name it. You know... 175 00:08:36,209 --> 00:08:39,360 Neuritis, neuralgia. 176 00:08:40,529 --> 00:08:42,963 But he's feeling better now, right? 177 00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:45,006 Yes. Yeah. It's such a miracle. 178 00:08:45,169 --> 00:08:47,888 You know, my visit must have buoyed his spirits. 179 00:08:48,849 --> 00:08:50,123 Buoyed. 180 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,161 - What did I say? - You said "boy'd." 181 00:08:53,609 --> 00:08:55,725 - I did? - Yeah. 182 00:09:06,449 --> 00:09:07,723 Well, I got a plane to catch. 183 00:09:07,889 --> 00:09:10,244 - Where are you going? - Going to Houston for a few days. 184 00:09:10,409 --> 00:09:12,047 Publishers' convention. 185 00:09:12,489 --> 00:09:13,808 Can I have my sports section? 186 00:09:16,449 --> 00:09:18,201 - Oh, yeah. - Sports section. 187 00:09:18,369 --> 00:09:21,281 I'm saving it for the plane. I never miss the Sunday sports section. 188 00:09:21,449 --> 00:09:23,724 There's nothing to read. It's yesterday's news. 189 00:09:23,889 --> 00:09:26,687 The Yankees won, the Mets lost, Rickey Henderson's unhappy. 190 00:09:26,849 --> 00:09:28,362 Right. Right. 191 00:09:28,529 --> 00:09:30,759 What are you doing? 192 00:09:32,049 --> 00:09:35,439 That is the third time today I have done that. 193 00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:40,678 I keep, you know, grabbing newspapers and just tugging at them. 194 00:09:40,849 --> 00:09:42,441 Well, I gotta go. 195 00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:45,806 Okay. Yes, well, you know, have a nice trip. 196 00:09:46,129 --> 00:09:50,566 Alrighty. I'll just hold down the fort. 197 00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:58,161 I sense great vulnerability... 198 00:09:58,329 --> 00:10:00,365 ...a man-child crying out for love... 199 00:10:00,529 --> 00:10:04,522 ...an innocent orphan in the postmodern world. 200 00:10:04,689 --> 00:10:06,759 I see a parasite. 201 00:10:08,289 --> 00:10:10,757 A sexually depraved miscreant... 202 00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:16,287 ...who is seeking only to gratify his basest and most immediate urges. 203 00:10:18,569 --> 00:10:19,888 She was a guest of my father's. 204 00:10:20,049 --> 00:10:22,404 - She should've taken the cap off. - It's preposterous... 205 00:10:22,569 --> 00:10:25,527 ...to ask someone to take off a baseball cap at a baseball game. 206 00:10:25,689 --> 00:10:26,917 How can you defend that? 207 00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:29,762 His struggle is man's struggle. 208 00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:32,045 He lifts my spirit. 209 00:10:32,209 --> 00:10:35,167 He is a loathsome, offensive brute. 210 00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:37,919 Yet I can't look away. 211 00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:41,847 Look, I'm tired of all this fighting. 212 00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:45,285 Maybe we should end this before we really start hating each other. 213 00:10:45,449 --> 00:10:49,078 You wouldn't want that, because you always have to remain friends. 214 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,525 I like to remain friends with people I was friends with. 215 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:56,083 Hey, why don't you just go then? 216 00:10:56,249 --> 00:11:00,208 And give this to George. Tell him he owes me $500. 217 00:11:01,649 --> 00:11:04,925 He transcends time and space. 218 00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:08,198 He sickens me. 219 00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:12,368 I love it. 220 00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:14,759 Me too. 221 00:11:17,729 --> 00:11:19,640 Five hundred dollars? 222 00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,284 - What? - That's what she told me. 223 00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:24,999 I'm not paying $500 for this! 224 00:11:25,169 --> 00:11:26,568 It's a piece of junk! 225 00:11:27,209 --> 00:11:29,120 - That's what it costs. - Why did you take it? 226 00:11:29,289 --> 00:11:32,361 - You broke up with her. - I wasn't thinking. I don't know. 227 00:11:32,529 --> 00:11:34,804 You weren't thinking. 228 00:11:37,049 --> 00:11:38,767 I mean, she framed it and everything. 229 00:11:38,929 --> 00:11:40,760 I'm not buying this. No way. Forget it. 230 00:11:40,929 --> 00:11:42,282 No way I'm buying this. 231 00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:44,679 I mean, look at it! What is it? 232 00:11:44,889 --> 00:11:47,403 It's a bunch of squiggly lines. 233 00:11:47,569 --> 00:11:49,321 Are you telling me you couldn't paint this? 234 00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:52,925 You want me to paint you something? I'd love to paint you something. 235 00:11:53,649 --> 00:11:54,877 I'm not paying for this. 236 00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:57,802 If you were going out with her, it'd be a different story. 237 00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,841 This was in front of your door. 238 00:12:01,009 --> 00:12:02,442 - Hey, Kramer. - Hi, Mike. 239 00:12:05,969 --> 00:12:07,402 Wow, a letter from Nina! 240 00:12:08,369 --> 00:12:11,964 Man, that is the ugliest thing I've ever seen. 241 00:12:13,409 --> 00:12:15,400 - Oh, my God. - What? 242 00:12:15,569 --> 00:12:17,799 This is amazing. You can't believe this. 243 00:12:17,969 --> 00:12:20,961 Listen to this."I don't know what you expect to find, Jerry. 244 00:12:21,129 --> 00:12:24,360 You know what you want better than me, but there's one thing I do know. 245 00:12:24,529 --> 00:12:26,599 I can stand here watching you try to destroy... 246 00:12:26,769 --> 00:12:28,760 ...everything I've ever wanted in my life... 247 00:12:28,929 --> 00:12:33,002 ...wanting to smash your face with my fists because you won't even make... 248 00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,479 ...the slightest effort to opt for happiness and still know I love you. 249 00:12:36,649 --> 00:12:39,083 You mean so much to me, I'm willing to take your abuse... 250 00:12:39,249 --> 00:12:40,602 ...insults and insensitivity." 251 00:12:40,769 --> 00:12:43,078 - Wow. - She's deep. 252 00:12:44,169 --> 00:12:47,366 "Because that's what you need to do to prove I'm not gonna leave you. 253 00:12:47,529 --> 00:12:50,566 I'm sick and tired of running from places and people and relationships. 254 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:53,118 You want me, then fight for me, beca- 255 00:12:55,249 --> 00:12:57,638 Because I'm sure as hell fighting for you. 256 00:12:58,769 --> 00:13:00,202 I think we're both worth it." 257 00:13:09,609 --> 00:13:11,406 You know, Jerry, she sounds like a poet. 258 00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:14,003 Boy, no one's ever written me a letter like this. 259 00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:15,966 Maybe I was wrong about her. 260 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:18,927 Get in there and give her a call. Pick up the phone and call her. 261 00:13:19,089 --> 00:13:22,286 - Should I? - Yes, you're damn right you should! 262 00:13:22,489 --> 00:13:25,003 Fight for her, Jerry! She's sure the hell fighting for you! 263 00:13:25,169 --> 00:13:26,488 All right! 264 00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:29,645 I'll call her. 265 00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:46,444 Don't go in there. You're gonna get shot. 266 00:13:47,249 --> 00:13:49,080 I told you. 267 00:13:51,769 --> 00:13:53,122 - Yeah. - It's George. 268 00:13:53,289 --> 00:13:54,768 Come on up. 269 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:59,240 Well, now we gotta get a posse together. 270 00:13:59,849 --> 00:14:01,202 I love a good posse. 271 00:14:02,729 --> 00:14:04,287 What's the appeal of the posse? 272 00:14:04,449 --> 00:14:05,768 The appeal of the posse? 273 00:14:05,929 --> 00:14:07,806 Posse has tremendous appeal. 274 00:14:07,969 --> 00:14:11,598 Get away from the job, you camp out, you're with friends. 275 00:14:13,489 --> 00:14:16,879 Come on, it's a week-long game of hide and go seek on horseback. 276 00:14:18,929 --> 00:14:20,157 Hello, George. 277 00:14:20,329 --> 00:14:22,126 Hey. Hey, Nina. 278 00:14:25,169 --> 00:14:26,966 I owe you some money, don't I? 279 00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:32,567 - Well, I really love that piece. - Me too. Boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 280 00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:35,880 You know, in fact, I've been thinking about it, and... 281 00:14:36,049 --> 00:14:38,438 ...you know, I feel like I'm stealing from you. 282 00:14:38,609 --> 00:14:41,965 Five hundred dollars! This is gonna be worth thousands soon. 283 00:14:42,209 --> 00:14:45,246 You know what? On second thought, I can't even accept this. 284 00:14:45,409 --> 00:14:49,197 No, no, no. George, a deal's a deal. I want you to have it. 285 00:14:49,969 --> 00:14:52,437 This could be in a museum someday. It's not safe with me. 286 00:14:52,609 --> 00:14:55,362 It should really be in a doorman building. 287 00:14:55,529 --> 00:14:57,963 Honestly, George, the money's not important. 288 00:14:58,129 --> 00:14:59,801 Who said anything about money? 289 00:15:01,889 --> 00:15:03,163 - Yeah. - It's Elaine. 290 00:15:03,329 --> 00:15:04,523 Come on up. 291 00:15:04,689 --> 00:15:06,202 - Elaine? - Yeah. 292 00:15:07,089 --> 00:15:09,159 She does not believe in telephones, does she? 293 00:15:09,329 --> 00:15:12,878 She likes the pop-in. I've told her how I hate the pop-in. 294 00:15:13,049 --> 00:15:14,528 He likes the pop-in too. 295 00:15:14,689 --> 00:15:17,123 Just popped in now. I'm a big pop-in guy. 296 00:15:17,289 --> 00:15:19,200 - He is. - What about Kramer? 297 00:15:19,369 --> 00:15:21,599 Huge pop-in guy. 298 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:25,962 Well, I was leaving anyway. So we're on for tomorrow? 299 00:15:26,129 --> 00:15:28,438 - Yeah. - Okay. Bye. 300 00:15:30,209 --> 00:15:31,801 Hello. 301 00:15:33,289 --> 00:15:35,280 Chatty gal. 302 00:15:36,729 --> 00:15:39,084 Lippman's coming back tomorrow. I'll be fired. 303 00:15:39,249 --> 00:15:41,160 If he noticed it, he would have called you. 304 00:15:41,329 --> 00:15:43,718 No. He wants to torture me. 305 00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,042 Will you give me the clicker? 306 00:15:46,209 --> 00:15:48,677 I hate it when you have the clicker. You're too fast. 307 00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:51,761 Get out! I'm a great clicker. 308 00:15:52,569 --> 00:15:53,922 I have great instincts. 309 00:15:54,089 --> 00:15:56,159 How dare you impugn my clicking. 310 00:15:56,529 --> 00:15:58,838 You're all over the dial. You don't know what you want. 311 00:15:59,009 --> 00:16:02,240 You never stay on anything longer than five seconds. Just give me that. 312 00:16:02,409 --> 00:16:04,240 - Let go. - Come on. I want it, Jerry! 313 00:16:04,409 --> 00:16:06,240 - Let go, Elaine! - Then let George do it! 314 00:16:06,409 --> 00:16:08,127 - George can't click! - Give it to me! 315 00:16:08,289 --> 00:16:10,200 Give it! Give it! Give it! 316 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,041 Pinheads. 317 00:16:12,849 --> 00:16:14,521 Maybe I can't... 318 00:16:15,329 --> 00:16:18,878 ...analyse and theorize and... 319 00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:21,483 ...speculate on why we- 320 00:16:21,649 --> 00:16:23,685 Wait a second. Go back to that. Go back to that. 321 00:16:23,889 --> 00:16:25,800 Hey, you read al those books, not me. 322 00:16:25,969 --> 00:16:27,561 It's Chapter Two. It's Neil Simon. 323 00:16:27,729 --> 00:16:29,845 But one thing I do know. 324 00:16:30,009 --> 00:16:31,806 I know how I feel. 325 00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,760 Wait a second. Wait a second! 326 00:16:34,929 --> 00:16:37,807 - What? - My God. The letter. That's the letter! 327 00:16:38,169 --> 00:16:40,444 - What letter? - This is the letter she wrote to me. 328 00:16:40,609 --> 00:16:42,565 She stole it from the movie! 329 00:16:42,729 --> 00:16:44,048 Because you don't even mak e... 330 00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:46,928 "The slightest effort to opt for happiness... 331 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:50,479 ...and still know that I love you!" 332 00:16:50,689 --> 00:16:52,759 This is incredible. 333 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:56,524 I always thought there was something funny about this letter. 334 00:16:56,689 --> 00:16:58,441 She's copied it right out of Chapter Two. 335 00:16:58,609 --> 00:17:00,520 She's a thief! A bunco artist. 336 00:17:00,689 --> 00:17:02,998 Maybe I won't send her that check. 337 00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:09,009 You know, it's not really that terrible. 338 00:17:09,169 --> 00:17:12,479 What are you talking about? She completely misrepresented herself. 339 00:17:12,649 --> 00:17:15,561 I don't opt for happiness. I opt for happiness. 340 00:17:15,729 --> 00:17:18,402 James Caan doesn't opt for happiness. 341 00:17:21,409 --> 00:17:22,603 Yeah. Yeah. 342 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,686 She wouldn't take the cap off? 343 00:17:25,329 --> 00:17:29,481 No. But didn't she know they were the owner's seats? 344 00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,209 Oh, that's unbelievable. 345 00:17:32,369 --> 00:17:34,963 Yeah, okay. All right, Lenny. 346 00:17:35,129 --> 00:17:36,482 Thanks again. 347 00:17:36,649 --> 00:17:38,367 Take care. 348 00:17:39,329 --> 00:17:43,083 That's Lenny West, my accountant, who's a hell of a guy. 349 00:17:43,249 --> 00:17:45,638 He handles the Yankees too. It's his biggest account. 350 00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:50,043 So every once in a while, they throw him a couple of seats... 351 00:17:50,209 --> 00:17:53,485 ...and last weekend, he gave them to his daughter. 352 00:17:53,809 --> 00:17:56,528 She's an artist, by the way. Anyway... 353 00:17:56,689 --> 00:17:59,362 ...her daughter gives them to some friends, you know? 354 00:17:59,529 --> 00:18:01,759 One of her friends shows up... 355 00:18:01,929 --> 00:18:03,999 ...wearing a Baltimore cap. 356 00:18:05,569 --> 00:18:07,400 You're from Baltimore, right? 357 00:18:09,169 --> 00:18:11,558 It's Towson. That's near Baltimore. 358 00:18:11,729 --> 00:18:13,481 But you're an Oriole fan, right? 359 00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:16,038 Well, fan... You know, my father- 360 00:18:16,209 --> 00:18:19,201 Anyway, she refused to take the cap off. 361 00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:20,848 She caused a whole big scene. 362 00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,080 Really? That's so impudent. 363 00:18:23,249 --> 00:18:26,764 Yeah. So Lenny gave me the tickets for tomorrow night. 364 00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:29,966 I'm inviting Frank and Marsha. Want you to come. 365 00:18:34,529 --> 00:18:36,201 I've got plans, though, Mr. Lippman. 366 00:18:36,369 --> 00:18:37,802 Well, break them. 367 00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:40,479 You missed the bris. I want you at the game. 368 00:18:42,609 --> 00:18:44,839 Okay. Okay. 369 00:18:45,009 --> 00:18:47,398 - Good. - Okay, Mr. Lippman. 370 00:18:49,769 --> 00:18:53,239 And, Elaine, you know the Baltimore cap you got in your office... 371 00:18:53,409 --> 00:18:55,969 ...wear it. I'm gonna have a little fun with him. 372 00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:00,445 That will be fun. 373 00:19:03,849 --> 00:19:05,123 How's it coming? 374 00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:07,241 Good. Good. 375 00:19:09,169 --> 00:19:11,080 Seen any good movies lately? 376 00:19:13,009 --> 00:19:14,362 No. Not really. 377 00:19:14,529 --> 00:19:16,884 - You? - No. 378 00:19:17,049 --> 00:19:19,165 I like a good comedy. 379 00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:21,889 You know, like a Neil Simon. 380 00:19:22,049 --> 00:19:24,927 - You like Neil Simon? - Neil Simon? 381 00:19:25,249 --> 00:19:26,648 Some of his stuff. 382 00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:28,640 I've seen most of it. 383 00:19:28,809 --> 00:19:31,642 I guess my favourite would have to be... 384 00:19:31,809 --> 00:19:33,720 ...Chapter Two. 385 00:19:35,209 --> 00:19:36,688 Have you ever seen that? 386 00:19:38,529 --> 00:19:40,520 I don't know. Maybe. 387 00:19:41,009 --> 00:19:42,237 I have. 388 00:19:43,009 --> 00:19:45,318 Funny. Funny. 389 00:19:45,489 --> 00:19:47,480 In fact, it was on TV just the other night. 390 00:19:47,649 --> 00:19:49,321 Happened to catch it. 391 00:19:49,489 --> 00:19:52,720 I couldn't help but notice... 392 00:19:52,889 --> 00:19:55,084 ...a stunning similarity... 393 00:19:55,249 --> 00:19:57,046 Well, we've made our decision. 394 00:19:57,209 --> 00:19:58,881 We want the Kramer. 395 00:20:00,689 --> 00:20:05,717 Five thousand? Why would anybody buy Kramer for $5000? 396 00:20:08,009 --> 00:20:10,728 Boy, the Yankees cannot buy a hit tonight. 397 00:20:11,569 --> 00:20:15,084 So is it all over between you and Marsha Mason? 398 00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:17,403 Yeah. 399 00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:20,527 And by the way, can you get this thing out of my house? 400 00:20:20,689 --> 00:20:22,168 I'll make a deal with you. 401 00:20:22,329 --> 00:20:25,162 - I'll sell it to you for 10 bucks. - Please. 402 00:20:25,329 --> 00:20:30,403 Seems to be a lot of trouble in the area just behind the Yank ee dugout. 403 00:20:30,849 --> 00:20:33,568 Behind the dugout? That's where we were sitting the other night. 404 00:20:33,729 --> 00:20:36,880 We're not gonna show it, don't want to encourage that kind of behaviour. 405 00:20:37,049 --> 00:20:40,678 It's a young lady, and she's realy going at it with the security guard. 406 00:20:40,849 --> 00:20:44,444 She's a feisty one. They're getting the other security guard to come down. 407 00:20:44,609 --> 00:20:45,837 How do you lik e that, Seaver? 408 00:20:46,009 --> 00:20:48,443 And, boy, she's something, and a Baltimore fan at that. 409 00:20:48,609 --> 00:20:50,679 Holy cow! 410 00:20:53,489 --> 00:20:59,405 When I was 17, I ran away from home and hopped a steamship to Sweden. 411 00:21:01,129 --> 00:21:03,768 - This steak is excellent, by the way. - More potatoes? 412 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:05,362 Yeah, yeah, sure. Please. 413 00:21:05,529 --> 00:21:09,647 Yes, yes, go on. You hopped a steamship to Sweden? 414 00:21:12,249 --> 00:21:13,807 It was a big one. 415 00:21:13,969 --> 00:21:16,642 Baseball season's starting. I'm very excited about that. 416 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,562 Did you ever sneak down to better seats at the game... 417 00:21:19,729 --> 00:21:21,447 ...and get caught by the usher? 418 00:21:21,609 --> 00:21:24,760 When you're a kid, you're getting chased from every place anyway. 419 00:21:24,929 --> 00:21:27,238 When you're an adult, it's really embarrassing. 420 00:21:27,409 --> 00:21:30,321 You have to pretend like there's some confusion. 421 00:21:30,929 --> 00:21:33,887 You put on this whole act. You're looking at the tickets. 422 00:21:34,049 --> 00:21:37,007 "I don't understand how this could have happened. 423 00:21:37,169 --> 00:21:39,000 Let me see. I see the problem. 424 00:21:39,169 --> 00:21:42,127 These are very good seats. I have very bad seats. 425 00:21:42,289 --> 00:21:44,757 That's the misunderstanding." 426 00:22:28,449 --> 00:22:30,440 Subtitles by SDl Media Group 33086

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