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1
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:03,562
The concept behind the car phone...
2
00:00:05,049 --> 00:00:07,199
...speakerphone, airline phone,
portable phone...
3
00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:09,405
...pay phone, cordless phone,
multiline phone...
4
00:00:09,569 --> 00:00:11,241
...the phone pager, the call waiting...
5
00:00:11,529 --> 00:00:15,408
...call forwarding, conferencing, speed
dialling, direct dialling and redialling...
6
00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:18,129
...is that we all have
absolutely nothing to say...
7
00:00:18,289 --> 00:00:21,247
...and we've got to talk to someone
about it right now.
8
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:24,287
Cannot wait another second.
9
00:00:24,529 --> 00:00:26,281
You're at home, you're on the phone.
10
00:00:26,449 --> 00:00:27,643
You're in the car making calls.
11
00:00:27,809 --> 00:00:29,447
You get to work,
"Any messages for me?"
12
00:00:29,609 --> 00:00:33,921
You gotta give people
a chance to miss you a little!
13
00:00:38,449 --> 00:00:41,407
It's bad enough you have a car phone.
You have to use the speak er?
14
00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:45,522
It's safer. Plus, it's more annoying
to the other person.
15
00:00:46,449 --> 00:00:48,679
- Oh, look at this guy.
- What's going on?
16
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,647
A guy's trying to get in front of me,
has to ask permission. Yes.
17
00:00:51,809 --> 00:00:53,879
Go ahead. Get in, get in.
18
00:00:54,809 --> 00:00:57,528
- Did you get a thank-you wave?
- No, nothing.
19
00:00:57,689 --> 00:00:59,361
How could you not
give a thank-you wave?
20
00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:02,487
Hey, buddy, where's
my thank-you wave?
21
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,079
Give me that wave!
22
00:01:06,049 --> 00:01:08,688
- Hey, Jerry, are you free on Friday?
- Yeah, I'm free. Why?
23
00:01:08,849 --> 00:01:12,046
Oh, God. I bumped into
Robin Sandusky today.
24
00:01:12,209 --> 00:01:14,928
She asked me to have dinner
with her and her husband.
25
00:01:15,169 --> 00:01:16,807
Oh, my God.
26
00:01:16,969 --> 00:01:20,041
You won't believe what I saw.
A car just bashed into a parked car...
27
00:01:20,209 --> 00:01:21,961
...and sped off, right on my block.
28
00:01:22,889 --> 00:01:25,403
- You've got to follow that car.
- What?
29
00:01:25,569 --> 00:01:28,641
- You can't let him get away with that.
- The guy could be dangerous.
30
00:01:29,169 --> 00:01:32,684
- What are you, yellow?
- I'm not yellow.
31
00:01:34,209 --> 00:01:36,359
Jerry, if you don't follow him,
you're yellow.
32
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,440
- Wait. He stopped. He's parking.
- What?
33
00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,361
What? I can't hear you. Jerry?
34
00:01:42,129 --> 00:01:43,721
Excuse me.
35
00:01:43,889 --> 00:01:46,483
I was driving behind you, you know...
36
00:01:46,649 --> 00:01:49,482
...a few blocks back, and I-
I couldn't...
37
00:01:49,649 --> 00:01:52,209
...help... Maybe you didn't realize I-
38
00:01:52,369 --> 00:01:54,439
I- I witnessed that...
39
00:01:55,489 --> 00:01:58,606
...your- Your left rear tire's
a little low.
40
00:01:58,769 --> 00:02:02,318
That can affect the performance
of the twin I-beam suspension...
41
00:02:02,489 --> 00:02:06,368
...not to mention, you know,
your rack-and-pinion steering.
42
00:02:10,409 --> 00:02:13,640
So I wound up going out
for a decaf cappuccino with her.
43
00:02:14,689 --> 00:02:16,600
Boy, what a story.
44
00:02:17,809 --> 00:02:20,118
I'm speechless, speechless.
I have no speech.
45
00:02:22,929 --> 00:02:25,489
You know, I really liked her.
We talked, we flirted.
46
00:02:25,649 --> 00:02:28,766
And when she laughed,
she'd reach out and touch my arm.
47
00:02:31,409 --> 00:02:33,923
Love when they touch your arm.
I can't get enough of that.
48
00:02:34,089 --> 00:02:35,886
- Me either.
- Why is that?
49
00:02:36,329 --> 00:02:38,604
Let's not even analyse it.
50
00:02:38,969 --> 00:02:41,642
- So you didn't turn her in.
- I couldn't go though with it.
51
00:02:41,809 --> 00:02:44,164
- You gonna see her again?
- Friday night.
52
00:02:44,889 --> 00:02:46,117
- Yeah.
- It's me.
53
00:02:46,289 --> 00:02:47,722
Come on up.
54
00:02:49,489 --> 00:02:52,447
By the way, Elaine does not
need to know about anything.
55
00:02:52,609 --> 00:02:54,725
Hey, hey, hey.
56
00:02:55,049 --> 00:02:56,801
I dig.
57
00:02:58,169 --> 00:02:59,807
- Oh, you dig?
- Yes.
58
00:02:59,969 --> 00:03:02,529
- I see enormous potential here.
- Why?
59
00:03:02,689 --> 00:03:06,238
Because great couples always have
a great story about how they met.
60
00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:08,718
That's why I've never been in
a long-term relationship.
61
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,288
I never had a good meeting story.
62
00:03:10,609 --> 00:03:12,839
I wonder if I'm nuts
for pursuing this woman at all.
63
00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,203
I don't think so.
64
00:03:14,369 --> 00:03:16,599
Look, she slammed
into a parked car.
65
00:03:16,769 --> 00:03:19,966
She took no responsibility for
mutilating the property of a stranger...
66
00:03:20,129 --> 00:03:22,927
...and then she sped off
like a criminal.
67
00:03:23,969 --> 00:03:26,529
On the other hand...
68
00:03:26,689 --> 00:03:29,123
...should she never be
allowed to date again?
69
00:03:29,289 --> 00:03:31,928
Scratch one car and you're
forbidden to have social contact...
70
00:03:32,089 --> 00:03:34,125
...for the rest of your life?
71
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,205
What am I drinking, milk?
72
00:03:39,129 --> 00:03:41,165
- Hey.
- Hi.
73
00:03:41,329 --> 00:03:42,523
- Sweater.
- Thank you.
74
00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:45,249
So? What happened?
75
00:03:45,409 --> 00:03:47,525
- With what?
- With the car.
76
00:03:47,689 --> 00:03:48,838
What car?
77
00:03:49,009 --> 00:03:50,203
The hit-and-run.
78
00:03:50,369 --> 00:03:54,123
Oh, right, right, right.
79
00:03:54,289 --> 00:03:55,483
Well...
80
00:03:55,649 --> 00:03:57,640
...actually, the guy
went into Queens.
81
00:03:58,209 --> 00:03:59,403
Queens?
82
00:03:59,569 --> 00:04:02,242
- You followed him over the bridge?
- Over the bridge.
83
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:04,684
Oh, I- I didn't know you
went into Queens, Jerry.
84
00:04:05,169 --> 00:04:07,160
Yeah, Queens.
85
00:04:07,489 --> 00:04:09,320
So? Then what?
86
00:04:09,489 --> 00:04:13,641
He gets out of the car. I said,
"Hey, buddy, I saw you hit that car."
87
00:04:13,809 --> 00:04:15,401
So he says to me:
88
00:04:15,569 --> 00:04:17,605
"What are you gonna do about it?"
89
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:20,647
So I said to him,
"Whatever's necessary."
90
00:04:23,849 --> 00:04:26,044
I am speechless.
91
00:04:26,209 --> 00:04:28,245
I am without speech.
92
00:04:29,249 --> 00:04:31,240
Tell her about the shoving.
93
00:04:34,289 --> 00:04:35,927
What?
94
00:04:37,049 --> 00:04:38,846
What shoving?
95
00:04:39,249 --> 00:04:41,479
- Oh, it was nothing.
- No.
96
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,640
Tell her.
97
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:45,802
Come on. Tell me.
98
00:04:45,969 --> 00:04:48,199
Well, he kind of lost his temper...
99
00:04:48,369 --> 00:04:50,837
...and he was pushing me
up against the car...
100
00:04:51,009 --> 00:04:53,728
...so I went into a karate stance.
101
00:04:56,849 --> 00:04:59,363
- You know karate?
- I know a little.
102
00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:02,601
Well, I- This is so amazing to me.
103
00:05:02,769 --> 00:05:04,566
Jerry, what did he do?
104
00:05:04,729 --> 00:05:06,606
He backed off.
105
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,642
He was pretty pathetic, actually.
106
00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:13,001
Hey.
107
00:05:13,929 --> 00:05:15,840
- Did you tell Kramer?
- No.
108
00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,727
What, what? Tell me.
109
00:05:18,129 --> 00:05:21,565
Jerry saw this guy smash into a car,
and he followed him.
110
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,286
Good for you.
111
00:05:24,529 --> 00:05:27,248
What kind of a sick lowlife
would do a thing like that?
112
00:05:27,409 --> 00:05:30,128
You know, those people,
you know they're mentally disturbed.
113
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:32,120
They should be sent to Australia.
114
00:05:33,809 --> 00:05:35,367
- Australia?
- That's where England...
115
00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:37,008
...used to send their convicts.
116
00:05:37,169 --> 00:05:39,729
- But not anymore.
- No.
117
00:05:43,249 --> 00:05:44,762
Hey, Kramer?
118
00:05:44,929 --> 00:05:46,647
Kramer.
119
00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:50,082
- What happened to you right here?
- I don't know.
120
00:05:51,689 --> 00:05:54,044
You know, I was watching
Entertainment Tonight...
121
00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:56,928
...and suddenly, you know,
I got dizzy...
122
00:05:57,089 --> 00:06:00,604
...and the next thing I know,
I hit my head on the coffee table.
123
00:06:02,609 --> 00:06:05,965
- Well, that is- That is strange.
- Yeah, it's...
124
00:06:07,929 --> 00:06:11,046
All right. Oh, Jerry, we're still on
for Friday night, right?
125
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:13,723
Oh, Friday. No, I can't.
I'm sorry. I have a date.
126
00:06:14,729 --> 00:06:18,119
- But last night you said you were free.
- We just met.
127
00:06:18,289 --> 00:06:21,167
You know, maybe it was
a reaction to the sardines.
128
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,480
I- I can't go alone.
129
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:24,923
Ask George to go with you.
130
00:06:25,809 --> 00:06:28,448
George, come on. I'll pay for you.
131
00:06:28,609 --> 00:06:29,803
You'll pay? I'm there.
132
00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:34,442
- Why do you need anybody?
- Because...
133
00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:37,806
...I hate being at a table alone
with a married couple...
134
00:06:37,969 --> 00:06:41,723
...talking about their married friends
and their married furniture.
135
00:06:41,889 --> 00:06:44,961
They're always trying to make me
feel like their life is so much better.
136
00:06:45,129 --> 00:06:47,723
You know, I have a very exciting life.
137
00:06:47,889 --> 00:06:49,641
It's very exciting.
138
00:06:51,809 --> 00:06:53,765
You went out with a bullfighter?
139
00:06:54,209 --> 00:06:56,803
Yeah, yeah.
Well, an ex-bullfighter now.
140
00:06:56,969 --> 00:06:59,563
- Wow.
- What was his name?
141
00:06:59,729 --> 00:07:03,165
His name? His name was- Was...
142
00:07:03,329 --> 00:07:06,048
...Eduardo...
143
00:07:06,209 --> 00:07:08,518
...Caroccio.
144
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:11,081
Pass the salt, please.
145
00:07:11,649 --> 00:07:12,968
Where did you meet him?
146
00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:14,926
Actually, I met him in Switzerland...
147
00:07:15,089 --> 00:07:17,125
...and he was fighting...
148
00:07:17,289 --> 00:07:20,326
Is that the word they use, "fighting"?
They don't really fight the bull.
149
00:07:20,489 --> 00:07:21,763
They avoid fighting the bull.
150
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,567
Bread.
151
00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:32,281
Oh, I just love meeting
new people, you know?
152
00:07:32,449 --> 00:07:35,088
That's how you really
do learn about life.
153
00:07:40,569 --> 00:07:42,764
- God bless you.
- Thank you.
154
00:07:43,209 --> 00:07:47,248
I wasn't gonna say anything, but I
saw he wasn't gonna open his mouth.
155
00:07:49,649 --> 00:07:52,209
You know who's a good actor?
Anthony Quinn.
156
00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,041
Oh, Anthony Quinn. Fine actor.
157
00:07:54,209 --> 00:07:56,439
But from what I understand,
not a very good driver.
158
00:07:56,849 --> 00:08:01,161
Hits everything on the road,
but always leaves a note.
159
00:08:01,489 --> 00:08:03,081
Did you ever see Zorba the Greek?
160
00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:04,602
Excellent film. In fact...
161
00:08:04,769 --> 00:08:06,760
...Quinn said he never felt so good...
162
00:08:06,929 --> 00:08:09,318
...as when he left a note
after smacking into a car.
163
00:08:10,449 --> 00:08:11,928
Come here.
164
00:08:12,209 --> 00:08:13,881
Really, I was only kidding around.
165
00:08:14,049 --> 00:08:15,448
He was only joking, Michael.
166
00:08:15,609 --> 00:08:18,169
You think you're special
because you say, "God bless you"?
167
00:08:18,329 --> 00:08:22,208
I don't think I'm special. My mother
always said I'm not special.
168
00:08:23,369 --> 00:08:25,485
He was only joking, Michael.
169
00:08:25,649 --> 00:08:27,685
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, right.
170
00:08:27,849 --> 00:08:29,999
- Take his side!
- I'm not taking his side.
171
00:08:30,169 --> 00:08:34,447
- Well, whose side are you taking?
- Well, I'm not taking your side!
172
00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:46,157
Kirk Douglas. Now, there's
another very bad driver.
173
00:08:46,329 --> 00:08:47,887
But he's such an unbelievable guy...
174
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,085
...when he hits someone,
he doesn't leave a note.
175
00:08:50,249 --> 00:08:52,638
He sits in his car
and waits for the other person...
176
00:08:52,809 --> 00:08:55,881
...so he can exchange license,
registration and apologize.
177
00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:04,483
I said, "God bless you."
Was that so wrong?
178
00:09:04,649 --> 00:09:06,128
The question is...
179
00:09:06,289 --> 00:09:08,519
...did you allow a space...
180
00:09:08,689 --> 00:09:11,362
...for the husband to come in
with his "God bless you"?
181
00:09:11,529 --> 00:09:14,202
Because as the husband,
he has the right of first refusal.
182
00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:18,763
- Yeah.
- It's me.
183
00:09:18,929 --> 00:09:20,601
- Come on up.
- Yes.
184
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:22,566
Yes. I definitely waited.
185
00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:24,048
But let me say this.
186
00:09:24,209 --> 00:09:26,245
Once he passes on that option...
187
00:09:26,409 --> 00:09:29,003
...that "God bless you"
is up for grabs.
188
00:09:29,169 --> 00:09:32,684
No argument, unless she's
one of these multiple sneezers...
189
00:09:32,849 --> 00:09:35,158
...and he's holding his
"God bless you"in abeyance...
190
00:09:35,329 --> 00:09:37,240
...until she completes the series.
191
00:09:39,049 --> 00:09:40,926
I don't think she is
a multiple sneezer...
192
00:09:41,089 --> 00:09:43,967
...because she sneezed again later
and it was also a single.
193
00:09:44,449 --> 00:09:46,087
What if she's having an off night?
194
00:09:49,009 --> 00:09:50,920
- Hi.
- Hi.
195
00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:52,238
Well.
196
00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:54,445
If it isn't Mr. Gesundheit.
197
00:09:54,609 --> 00:09:56,964
Oh, yeah. Like there's
something wrong...
198
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:58,721
...with saying, "God bless you."
199
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,084
I was raised to say, "God bless you."
200
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:03,168
Shut up.
201
00:10:04,089 --> 00:10:06,683
What does it mean anyway,
"God bless you"?
202
00:10:06,849 --> 00:10:09,443
It's a stupid "stuperstition."
203
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:11,167
A stupid what?
204
00:10:12,489 --> 00:10:13,638
Whatever.
205
00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:17,518
You wanna make a person feel better,
you shouldn't say, "God bless you."
206
00:10:17,689 --> 00:10:20,840
You should say,
"You're so good-looking."
207
00:10:24,689 --> 00:10:28,284
Yeah. Yeah. That's better
than "God bless you."
208
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,446
Anyway, she left a message on my
machine. She wants you to call her.
209
00:10:32,609 --> 00:10:34,884
- Who?
- Robin.
210
00:10:35,049 --> 00:10:36,198
Why?
211
00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,247
Well, I assume she called to apologize.
That's why she called me.
212
00:10:39,409 --> 00:10:40,524
Entertainment Tonight is on.
213
00:10:40,689 --> 00:10:42,407
- Where's the phone?
- Bedroom.
214
00:10:42,569 --> 00:10:45,447
Hey, grab Jerry's sweater
for me, would you?
215
00:10:53,289 --> 00:10:56,008
Georgia peach Mar/a Map/es
reported/y threw...
216
00:10:56,169 --> 00:10:59,605
...yet another stiletto heel at-
217
00:10:59,769 --> 00:11:01,088
What's it like out?
218
00:11:01,249 --> 00:11:02,967
It's chilly out.
219
00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,601
Should I take a sweater?
220
00:11:06,929 --> 00:11:09,443
Yeah. You could take
a sweater if you want.
221
00:11:09,609 --> 00:11:11,088
A scarf?
222
00:11:11,249 --> 00:11:15,242
No. Hey, shut this off.
Shut it off.
223
00:11:18,289 --> 00:11:21,042
- What's the matter? What's going on?
- What happened?
224
00:11:21,209 --> 00:11:23,279
- What?
- I think I hit my head again.
225
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:26,088
- What is wrong?
- Hey, hey, wait a minute.
226
00:11:26,249 --> 00:11:27,728
Let me ask you something, Kramer.
227
00:11:27,889 --> 00:11:32,724
The last time you hit your head,
was Mary Hart on TV?
228
00:11:34,049 --> 00:11:35,801
- Yeah.
- That is it!
229
00:11:35,969 --> 00:11:37,527
- What?
- That is it!
230
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:39,998
Mary Hart's voice! Don't you see?
231
00:11:40,169 --> 00:11:42,364
There's something
about Mary Hart's voice...
232
00:11:42,529 --> 00:11:44,201
...that's giving you seizures.
233
00:11:44,369 --> 00:11:47,088
Just like- Just like-
Just like that woman in Albany!
234
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:48,841
Mary Hart!
235
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:51,239
- Oh, my God.
- What?
236
00:11:51,649 --> 00:11:53,685
Well, she apologized,
and she wanted to know...
237
00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:56,158
...if we could get together
Wednesday afternoon.
238
00:11:56,329 --> 00:11:58,923
- Get together?
- Maybe she just wants to talk to me.
239
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,647
Married women don't get together.
240
00:12:00,809 --> 00:12:02,367
They have affairs.
241
00:12:02,529 --> 00:12:05,123
Oh, my God, an affair.
242
00:12:05,649 --> 00:12:06,843
It's so adult.
243
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:13,525
It's like with stockings and martinis
and William Holden and...
244
00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:18,685
On the other hand, it probably
wouldn't cost me any money.
245
00:12:20,369 --> 00:12:22,883
Are you actually considering this?
246
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:25,722
I can't have an affair with a married
woman. That's despicable!
247
00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:28,921
It's like hitting a car and driving away
without leaving a note.
248
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:30,767
Yeah.
249
00:12:31,449 --> 00:12:33,087
Hey, you know who owns that car?
250
00:12:33,249 --> 00:12:35,319
- What car?
- The one that was hit the other night.
251
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,957
- Yeah, who?
- That blond across the street.
252
00:12:38,129 --> 00:12:41,166
The one with the long ponytail,
she wears those blue sweatpants.
253
00:12:41,649 --> 00:12:46,404
The blond with the blue sweatpants.
254
00:12:47,089 --> 00:12:48,283
Yeah, I think I've seen her.
255
00:12:49,809 --> 00:12:51,401
Well, I gotta get going.
256
00:12:51,569 --> 00:12:54,367
I'm meeting a guy
with grey sweatpants.
257
00:12:57,329 --> 00:13:00,799
Wait, wait, wait. How do
you know it's not John Tesh?
258
00:13:02,929 --> 00:13:06,126
- The blond with the blue sweatpants!
- Who is she?
259
00:13:06,289 --> 00:13:09,201
I had a crush on her for a year!
I've been afraid to approach her.
260
00:13:09,369 --> 00:13:11,405
She belongs on one of these
Hallmark cards.
261
00:13:11,569 --> 00:13:14,606
Oh, right! Right!
The blue sweatpants!
262
00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:18,242
It's too bad you can't say
anything because of Angela.
263
00:13:20,369 --> 00:13:21,563
Yeah.
264
00:13:22,649 --> 00:13:24,765
Too bad.
265
00:13:29,769 --> 00:13:31,202
Angela.
266
00:13:32,129 --> 00:13:33,801
Lousy thug.
267
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:37,479
What kind of sick person
does something like that?
268
00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:39,844
The woman belongs in prison!
269
00:13:40,089 --> 00:13:44,002
I mean, I actually owe it to society
to do something about this!
270
00:13:44,169 --> 00:13:46,444
I can't sit by and allow this to go on!
271
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:49,885
- It's a moral issue, is what it is.
- Can't compromise your principles.
272
00:13:50,049 --> 00:13:51,528
- How can I live?
- Can't live.
273
00:13:51,689 --> 00:13:53,964
I'm not religious, but I know
where to draw the line.
274
00:13:54,129 --> 00:13:55,960
This country needs
more people like you.
275
00:13:56,129 --> 00:13:58,324
Don't sell yourself short,
saying, "God bless you"...
276
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:01,765
...to every Tom, Dick and Harry,
at great personal risk.
277
00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:05,964
- I believe strongly in that. You know.
- There should be more people like us.
278
00:14:06,129 --> 00:14:09,087
That's why the world's
in the shape that it's in.
279
00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,160
You're telling me.
280
00:14:16,929 --> 00:14:19,397
I just want you to know
I'm gonna do everything I can...
281
00:14:19,569 --> 00:14:22,163
...to make sure the party responsible
is made responsible...
282
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:23,842
...or something very close to that.
283
00:14:24,369 --> 00:14:26,041
Well, God bless you.
284
00:14:27,089 --> 00:14:28,841
Thank you very much.
285
00:14:33,289 --> 00:14:36,918
Oh, my God. I must be crazy.
What have I done?
286
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:39,649
- Oh, no. What's wrong?
- What's wrong?
287
00:14:39,969 --> 00:14:42,529
I'll tell you what's wrong.
I just committed adultery.
288
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,324
You didn't commit adultery. I did.
289
00:14:47,449 --> 00:14:48,928
Oh, yeah.
290
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:51,888
If I didn't do it with you, I would have
done it with someone else.
291
00:14:53,169 --> 00:14:56,445
Well, I wouldn't want you to do that.
There's a lot of losers out there.
292
00:14:57,769 --> 00:15:00,329
Maybe even someone who didn't say,
"God bless you."
293
00:15:00,489 --> 00:15:02,207
Well, that's a given.
294
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:05,008
In three years with Michael,
not one "God bless you."
295
00:15:06,129 --> 00:15:08,324
Must be hell living in that house.
296
00:15:09,729 --> 00:15:12,960
- Hi, it's Michael.
- Hi, Michael.
297
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,201
- Is Robin there?
- Robin? No, why?
298
00:15:17,169 --> 00:15:19,239
She said she was gonna be with you.
299
00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:22,287
No, I haven't spoken to her all da-
300
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:25,482
Yeah, right.
301
00:15:25,649 --> 00:15:27,605
As a- As a matter of fact...
302
00:15:27,769 --> 00:15:31,728
She- She was here and she-
She left a note...
303
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:36,280
...but I- I wasn't here, but I-
I have the note right here.
304
00:15:37,049 --> 00:15:38,607
If she's not with you, where is she?
305
00:15:38,769 --> 00:15:40,487
Well, I- I don't know.
306
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:44,119
Is she with your bald friend
from the other night?
307
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,201
No. No.
308
00:15:46,369 --> 00:15:48,803
Come on, Michael.
309
00:15:49,169 --> 00:15:53,208
He's finished. I'm gonna
sew his ass to his face!
310
00:15:54,129 --> 00:15:57,166
I'm gonna twist his neck so hard
his lips wil be his eyebrows!
311
00:15:57,329 --> 00:16:00,685
I'm gonna break his joints
and reattach them!
312
00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:04,841
You're so good-looking.
313
00:16:06,449 --> 00:16:10,283
Now, you listen to me, suck-face!
314
00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,406
You tell anybody anything...
315
00:16:12,569 --> 00:16:15,686
...and I will carve my initials
in your brain tissue.
316
00:16:15,849 --> 00:16:18,238
- Let me rephrase-
- I'll bash your skull in...
317
00:16:18,409 --> 00:16:21,799
...like a bad cabbage,
and I'll have a party on your head!
318
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,117
- Elaine. This is Angela.
- I'll pluck your body hairs out...
319
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,166
...with my teeth!
320
00:16:28,449 --> 00:16:30,201
Well, I think I get the gist of it.
321
00:16:30,369 --> 00:16:32,678
So you don't say anything
to anybody...
322
00:16:32,849 --> 00:16:34,919
...about me hitting that car.
323
00:16:35,089 --> 00:16:36,727
What car?
324
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:38,687
Good.
325
00:16:38,849 --> 00:16:41,966
- I'm glad we understand each other.
- It's not complicated.
326
00:16:46,289 --> 00:16:48,803
Very nice meeting you.
327
00:16:51,089 --> 00:16:52,841
Come on up.
328
00:16:54,849 --> 00:16:57,488
Well, well, Mr. Seinfeld...
329
00:16:57,649 --> 00:17:00,482
...that must have been
so frightening...
330
00:17:00,649 --> 00:17:03,800
...when you confronted
that guy in Queens.
331
00:17:03,969 --> 00:17:06,324
Now, let me just see
if I've got the scenario right.
332
00:17:06,489 --> 00:17:08,525
- All right, Elaine.
- No, no, no...
333
00:17:08,689 --> 00:17:10,839
...because I'm picturing...
What? What?
334
00:17:11,009 --> 00:17:12,727
French Connection kind of thing.
335
00:17:12,889 --> 00:17:15,722
You know, sort of a Popeye Doyle
chase through the city.
336
00:17:15,889 --> 00:17:18,119
- It was just a couple of blocks.
- Oh, no, no.
337
00:17:18,289 --> 00:17:20,200
Come on. Don't be so modest.
338
00:17:21,089 --> 00:17:23,000
- Hey.
- Oh.
339
00:17:23,649 --> 00:17:25,605
Did you check your machine?
340
00:17:25,769 --> 00:17:27,680
No. Why? What's happened?
341
00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:31,088
Michael called me today,
and he asked me where Robin was.
342
00:17:31,369 --> 00:17:34,441
- Yeah, okay.
- And I said I hadn't seen her.
343
00:17:34,609 --> 00:17:37,601
- What?
- No, George, you don't understand.
344
00:17:37,769 --> 00:17:40,203
She didn't tell me
she was using me as an excuse.
345
00:17:40,529 --> 00:17:43,202
Okay? But then I realized
what was going on...
346
00:17:43,369 --> 00:17:46,167
...and I said that she left a note.
347
00:17:46,569 --> 00:17:48,480
But he didn't really buy that.
348
00:17:48,649 --> 00:17:51,083
And then- And then
he did mention your name.
349
00:17:51,489 --> 00:17:54,128
He mentioned my name?
What did he say?
350
00:17:55,289 --> 00:17:57,519
He said he was gonna...
351
00:17:57,689 --> 00:18:01,125
...sew your ass to your face.
352
00:18:02,009 --> 00:18:03,522
What?
353
00:18:03,689 --> 00:18:07,079
- Why couldn't you think of something?
- I don't know! He caught me off guard!
354
00:18:07,249 --> 00:18:09,319
You lie! How hard is it to lie!
355
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:11,002
It's not that hard.
356
00:18:12,969 --> 00:18:15,039
Well, who told you
to sleep with her, George?
357
00:18:15,209 --> 00:18:17,086
Not my fault.
I wasn't gonna do anything...
358
00:18:17,249 --> 00:18:20,685
...until you got her juiced up with your
story about the affair with the matador!
359
00:18:20,849 --> 00:18:24,319
None of this would have happened
if you hadn't said, "God bless you"!
360
00:18:24,489 --> 00:18:27,640
- Don't start.
- Hold it, hold it, hold it, people.
361
00:18:27,809 --> 00:18:29,720
- Matador?
- Oh, God.
362
00:18:29,889 --> 00:18:31,561
What matador?
363
00:18:31,729 --> 00:18:33,720
She told them she had
an affair with a matador.
364
00:18:33,889 --> 00:18:35,242
A matador.
365
00:18:35,409 --> 00:18:37,365
Well, well.
366
00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:44,966
Pray tell, what was
the young man's name?
367
00:18:49,369 --> 00:18:51,724
Eduardo Caroccio.
368
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:54,597
Eduardo...
369
00:18:54,769 --> 00:18:57,237
...Caroccio.
370
00:18:57,649 --> 00:19:01,324
That's good. That's very good.
Kind of just rolls off the tongue.
371
00:19:01,489 --> 00:19:05,448
Where on the Upper West Side
might a single girl meet a matador?
372
00:19:05,609 --> 00:19:07,122
- Perhaps, Zabar's.
- No.
373
00:19:07,289 --> 00:19:09,849
Or Ray's Pizza.
374
00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:15,768
This person told me to tell you
to get an estimate on the damage.
375
00:19:15,929 --> 00:19:19,717
I already got an estimate. It's $875.
376
00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:21,959
$875?
377
00:19:22,289 --> 00:19:23,881
That's right.
378
00:19:24,689 --> 00:19:26,645
Well, I'll tell you what.
379
00:19:26,809 --> 00:19:30,768
I'll give you a check, and then
this person can pay me back.
380
00:19:31,729 --> 00:19:33,799
Who do I make it out to?
381
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:37,564
Becky Gelke. G-E-L-K-E.
382
00:19:37,729 --> 00:19:41,165
So, what are you doing this weekend?
383
00:19:41,529 --> 00:19:43,087
You have got some nerve.
384
00:19:43,249 --> 00:19:45,365
You smash up my car,
you don't admit it...
385
00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:47,008
...and now you want to ask me out?
386
00:19:47,169 --> 00:19:49,967
- I didn't do it!
- Yeah, right.
387
00:19:51,409 --> 00:19:52,967
You are so good-looking.
388
00:19:53,129 --> 00:19:54,608
Thank you.
389
00:19:58,769 --> 00:20:00,487
Jerry, let's go. You ready?
390
00:20:00,649 --> 00:20:03,209
You really want to do this?
I'm on the road for three weeks.
391
00:20:03,369 --> 00:20:06,361
Excuse me, I've got a maniac
stalking me. I'm not staying in the city.
392
00:20:07,369 --> 00:20:10,042
- All right.
- Come on, let's get out of here.
393
00:20:12,209 --> 00:20:13,688
How could you?
394
00:20:13,849 --> 00:20:16,488
- What?
- I never thought you were capable.
395
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,844
- What did I do?
- I talked to Becky Gelke outside.
396
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:20,283
She told me you hit and ran.
397
00:20:21,449 --> 00:20:23,724
I don't even want to
look at you anymore!
398
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:27,245
All these years of friendship, and
you're- You're nothing but a felon!
399
00:20:27,409 --> 00:20:29,479
You're an embarrassment
to the building.
400
00:20:29,649 --> 00:20:33,642
I didn't do it. I just had to pay her
to cover for somebody else.
401
00:20:34,089 --> 00:20:36,728
- You're not gonna lie to me, are you?
- No. Never.
402
00:20:36,889 --> 00:20:39,403
All right. I'm glad we got that
straightened out...
403
00:20:39,569 --> 00:20:41,480
...because I got a date with her.
404
00:20:43,889 --> 00:20:45,925
You got a date with Becky Gelke?
405
00:20:46,209 --> 00:20:48,677
- I'm going out with her Saturday.
- Can we get out of here?
406
00:20:48,849 --> 00:20:52,046
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have
had an excuse to talk to her.
407
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:55,918
Well, I'm happy to help
in any way that I can.
408
00:21:06,009 --> 00:21:08,079
Liz Taylor...
409
00:21:13,209 --> 00:21:17,122
A man is paralysed, mentally,
by a beautiful woman.
410
00:21:17,289 --> 00:21:19,041
Advertisers really
take advantage of this.
411
00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:21,769
Don't you love ads where
you see the woman in the bikini...
412
00:21:21,929 --> 00:21:24,489
...next to the 32-piece ratchet set,
you know, and she's...?
413
00:21:24,649 --> 00:21:26,401
We'll be looking at the girl...
414
00:21:26,569 --> 00:21:31,040
...looking at the ratchet set going, "All
right, if she's next to the ratchet set...
415
00:21:31,569 --> 00:21:35,084
...and I had that ratchet set...
416
00:21:35,249 --> 00:21:38,480
...I wonder if that
would mean that...
417
00:21:41,729 --> 00:21:44,448
I better just buy that ratchet set."
418
00:22:28,529 --> 00:22:30,520
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