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1
00:00:02,209 --> 00:00:04,040
Do you think that the people
at the airport...
2
00:00:05,569 --> 00:00:07,207
...that run the stores
have any idea...
3
00:00:07,369 --> 00:00:10,202
...what the prices are everyplace else
in the world...
4
00:00:10,369 --> 00:00:13,406
...or do they just feel they have
their own little country out there...
5
00:00:13,569 --> 00:00:15,400
...and they can charge
anything they want?
6
00:00:15,569 --> 00:00:18,481
"You hungry? Tuna sandwich is $9.
7
00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:21,322
You don't like it,
go back to your own country."
8
00:00:21,529 --> 00:00:23,759
I think the whole
airport-airline complex...
9
00:00:23,929 --> 00:00:27,080
...is a huge scam just to sell
the tuna sandwiches.
10
00:00:27,249 --> 00:00:31,083
I think that profit is what's supporting
the whole air travel industry.
11
00:00:31,249 --> 00:00:33,843
I mean, think about it.
The terminals, the airplanes...
12
00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:35,522
...it's all just a distraction...
13
00:00:35,689 --> 00:00:38,761
...so that you don't notice the beating
that you're taking on the tuna.
14
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:47,319
It's all departures.
I see nothing but departures.
15
00:00:47,489 --> 00:00:49,480
Do you know where the arrivals are?
16
00:00:53,009 --> 00:00:54,601
Excuse me, sir,
do you have the time?
17
00:00:54,969 --> 00:00:57,199
There's a clock over there.
18
00:00:57,369 --> 00:00:59,485
- Where?
- Over there.
19
00:01:00,049 --> 00:01:03,803
- But you have a watch on.
- It's right by the escalator.
20
00:01:04,489 --> 00:01:05,888
Why not just look at your watch?
21
00:01:06,209 --> 00:01:08,439
I told you, it's right over there.
22
00:01:09,889 --> 00:01:11,925
- Let me see the watch.
- Hey!
23
00:01:12,089 --> 00:01:13,647
What are you, some kind of nut?
24
00:01:15,009 --> 00:01:17,648
You know, we're living in a society!
25
00:01:19,409 --> 00:01:21,639
- George.
- Jerry, Jerry.
26
00:01:21,809 --> 00:01:23,800
The flight was delayed.
How long you been here?
27
00:01:23,969 --> 00:01:26,688
I just got here. My car broke down
on the Belt Parkway.
28
00:01:26,849 --> 00:01:28,919
I can't believe-
Get rid of that piece of junk.
29
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,922
One mile from the exit,
it starts shaking, violently shaking...
30
00:01:32,089 --> 00:01:33,761
...like it's having
a nervous breakdown.
31
00:01:33,929 --> 00:01:36,648
- Then it completely stopped dead.
- So you have no car.
32
00:01:36,809 --> 00:01:38,845
- No.
- So, what good are you?
33
00:01:41,249 --> 00:01:43,479
This chauffeur's gonna be
waiting a while.
34
00:01:43,649 --> 00:01:45,719
- O'Brien's not showing up.
- How do you know?
35
00:01:45,889 --> 00:01:47,641
He was in Chicago.
Flight was overbooked.
36
00:01:47,809 --> 00:01:49,003
They wouldn't let him on.
37
00:01:49,169 --> 00:01:52,320
He kept screaming how he had
to get to Madison Square Garden.
38
00:01:52,489 --> 00:01:54,684
- We should take his limo.
- Yeah, right.
39
00:01:57,969 --> 00:02:00,688
Wait a second. Think about it.
40
00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:02,922
He's not showing up.
41
00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,649
Wait till you see the line for cabs.
It's 45 minutes long.
42
00:02:05,969 --> 00:02:08,608
- You said he's in Chicago.
- He's definitely in Chicago.
43
00:02:09,649 --> 00:02:11,401
Well, that guy is just standing there.
44
00:02:13,809 --> 00:02:16,642
- How would we do it?
- Just go up and say, "We're O'Brien."
45
00:02:18,649 --> 00:02:20,685
- Maybe he knows O'Brien.
- He doesn't know him.
46
00:02:20,849 --> 00:02:23,363
If he knew O'Brien,
he wouldn't have a sign.
47
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:26,483
- Let's just do it.
- What if we get caught?
48
00:02:26,649 --> 00:02:29,163
What's gonna happen?
They can't kill us.
49
00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:33,041
- Who's gonna be O'Brien?
- I'll be O'Brien.
50
00:02:33,969 --> 00:02:36,324
- Who am I?
- You're you.
51
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:38,207
- Just me?
- Yeah.
52
00:02:38,929 --> 00:02:41,489
- Okay.
- You don't wanna be you?
53
00:02:41,649 --> 00:02:44,527
Well, if you're gonna be O'Brien,
why can't I be somebody?
54
00:02:46,089 --> 00:02:48,762
- Like who?
- Dylan Murphy.
55
00:02:50,009 --> 00:02:51,727
Okay.
56
00:02:52,849 --> 00:02:55,568
- Now you wanna be Dylan Murphy?
- Well, I like Dylan.
57
00:02:55,849 --> 00:02:57,077
You could be Colin.
58
00:02:57,489 --> 00:02:58,683
Okay. Colin O'Brien.
59
00:02:58,849 --> 00:03:01,079
- I'm Dylan Murphy.
- I'm Colin O'Brien.
60
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:04,805
- Are we really doing this?
- Come on.
61
00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:07,967
- Hey, do you have the time?
- Clock over there.
62
00:03:09,489 --> 00:03:10,842
- O'Brien.
- Yes, sir.
63
00:03:11,569 --> 00:03:13,002
Sorry we're late.
64
00:03:13,169 --> 00:03:14,921
- Let me take that for you.
- Oh, thank you.
65
00:03:15,089 --> 00:03:18,001
- I'll bring the car around front.
- Thank you very much.
66
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:21,007
- Dylan.
- Colin.
67
00:03:24,529 --> 00:03:27,646
Can you believe this?
This is incredible.
68
00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:30,118
This is one of the greatest things
I've ever done.
69
00:03:30,289 --> 00:03:32,359
- I'm gonna call my mother.
- What for?
70
00:03:32,529 --> 00:03:34,599
To tell her I'm in a limo.
71
00:03:36,729 --> 00:03:38,606
Hello, Ma? It's me.
72
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,079
Guess where I am.
In the back of a limo.
73
00:03:42,249 --> 00:03:43,887
No, nobody died.
74
00:03:44,529 --> 00:03:46,724
It's a long story. I can't tell you now.
75
00:03:46,889 --> 00:03:48,208
Because I can't.
76
00:03:48,369 --> 00:03:49,961
I said, I can't.
77
00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:52,880
If I could, I would.
78
00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:55,879
Would you stop it? All right, look-
79
00:03:56,049 --> 00:03:57,277
I'm getting off.
80
00:03:57,449 --> 00:04:00,521
No, I'm not telling you.
How's this? I'm never telling you.
81
00:04:00,689 --> 00:04:02,805
I don't care. No! Fine!
82
00:04:02,969 --> 00:04:04,721
Never!
83
00:04:07,569 --> 00:04:09,321
She happy for you?
84
00:04:10,929 --> 00:04:12,681
- Can he hear us?
- No.
85
00:04:12,849 --> 00:04:13,998
Why?
86
00:04:14,169 --> 00:04:16,285
Thought I saw him look
in the mirror suspiciously.
87
00:04:16,449 --> 00:04:17,768
He can't hear us.
88
00:04:18,329 --> 00:04:19,728
Let's test him.
89
00:04:20,769 --> 00:04:22,043
Hey, driver.
90
00:04:22,209 --> 00:04:24,769
What do you say we stop off,
pick up your sister...
91
00:04:24,929 --> 00:04:26,442
...have a little fun back here?
92
00:04:28,489 --> 00:04:29,968
No. He can't hear us.
93
00:04:30,689 --> 00:04:33,965
Where's he dropping us? Maybe we
can get him to drop us at my house.
94
00:04:34,129 --> 00:04:35,642
I'll ask him.
95
00:04:37,769 --> 00:04:40,203
My dear fellow,
where are you dropping us?
96
00:04:40,369 --> 00:04:43,327
At Madison Square Garden, of course.
I have the four passes.
97
00:04:44,089 --> 00:04:46,444
Of course, the four passes.
98
00:04:49,809 --> 00:04:51,800
Four passes to
Madison Square Garden?
99
00:04:53,009 --> 00:04:54,158
Wait a minute.
100
00:04:54,329 --> 00:04:55,921
Wait a minute. Of course.
101
00:04:56,089 --> 00:04:57,283
Chicago!
102
00:04:57,449 --> 00:04:59,360
The Knicks are playing
the Bulls tonight!
103
00:04:59,529 --> 00:05:01,997
- What?
- We are going to the Knick game!
104
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:04,239
- Michael Jordan!
- The Knicks!
105
00:05:04,409 --> 00:05:06,400
We're going to the game!
Four free passes!
106
00:05:06,569 --> 00:05:10,118
- Did I tell you? Did I tell you?
- I can't believe it!
107
00:05:10,289 --> 00:05:12,359
- You may have hit with this one.
- You see?
108
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:16,442
You see, I see things as they are
and I say, "No."
109
00:05:17,169 --> 00:05:20,844
Wait. You see things
as they are not and you say-
110
00:05:21,169 --> 00:05:23,080
Wait. You see thing-
111
00:05:23,249 --> 00:05:24,807
Do you see things as they are?
112
00:05:24,969 --> 00:05:26,561
What do you say
when you see things?
113
00:05:27,289 --> 00:05:28,847
Let me call Elaine and Kramer.
114
00:05:29,289 --> 00:05:34,124
If I see things as they are,
I would ask, "Why?"or "Why not?"
115
00:05:34,289 --> 00:05:36,678
Elaine? It's me.
116
00:05:36,849 --> 00:05:38,168
What are you doing tonight?
117
00:05:38,329 --> 00:05:41,958
Great. George and I have tickets-
Four free passes...
118
00:05:42,129 --> 00:05:45,360
...to the Knicks-Bulls game
at Madison Square Garden.
119
00:05:46,249 --> 00:05:47,477
Can you go?
120
00:05:47,649 --> 00:05:51,039
Great. Call Kramer, tell him to meet
us on the corner at 7:00.
121
00:05:51,209 --> 00:05:54,360
All right. We're gonna
pick you up in a limo.
122
00:05:54,529 --> 00:05:56,884
That's right, baby doll.
123
00:05:57,049 --> 00:06:01,042
And listen, when we pick you up,
I'm Murphy and George is O'Brien.
124
00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:03,325
I can't tell you now. It's a long story.
125
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,127
I am serious.
126
00:06:05,289 --> 00:06:07,166
Okay. Okay, bye.
127
00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:14,928
Excuse me, driver,
we have to make a little stop first.
128
00:06:15,089 --> 00:06:16,363
I know.
129
00:06:19,289 --> 00:06:20,642
- He knows?
- He knows?
130
00:06:25,129 --> 00:06:27,040
Where we going?
Why are we pulling off here?
131
00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:28,608
Maybe it's a shortcut.
132
00:06:28,769 --> 00:06:31,329
We're on the Grand Central.
There's no traffic.
133
00:06:32,929 --> 00:06:34,999
Excuse me,
why are we getting off this exit?
134
00:06:35,169 --> 00:06:37,364
To pick up the other members
of your party.
135
00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:40,204
Right. The other members
of our party.
136
00:06:42,129 --> 00:06:43,960
What other members
of our party?
137
00:06:44,129 --> 00:06:45,960
I didn't even know
we were in a party.
138
00:06:46,129 --> 00:06:47,482
I'm telling you, the jig is up.
139
00:06:47,649 --> 00:06:49,799
It was a bad jig.
We never should've started it.
140
00:06:49,969 --> 00:06:53,405
- It was a good jig.
- It was a bad jig. A terrible, terrible jig.
141
00:06:53,569 --> 00:06:56,129
What are we gonna do now?
They'll know you're not O'Brien.
142
00:06:56,289 --> 00:06:58,723
There could be more than one O'Brien
who ordered a limo.
143
00:06:58,889 --> 00:07:01,801
- First, you don't look like any O'Brien.
- You should've been O'Brien.
144
00:07:01,969 --> 00:07:04,119
I don't wanna be Murphy anymore.
Do I have to be?
145
00:07:04,289 --> 00:07:07,122
- Yes, you have to be Murphy.
- It makes no sense, me being Murphy.
146
00:07:07,289 --> 00:07:08,608
- You're Murphy.
- I'm Seinfeld.
147
00:07:08,769 --> 00:07:10,088
You're Murphy!
148
00:07:10,689 --> 00:07:12,042
Let's just jump out of the car.
149
00:07:12,209 --> 00:07:14,006
We're doing 60 miles an hour.
150
00:07:14,169 --> 00:07:16,524
So we jump and roll.
You won't get hurt.
151
00:07:16,689 --> 00:07:18,600
Who are you, Mannix?
152
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,163
Why are we slowing down?
153
00:07:20,849 --> 00:07:22,441
Are those the people?
154
00:07:23,169 --> 00:07:26,127
All right, put your hands up over
your face. Pretend you're sleeping.
155
00:07:34,769 --> 00:07:37,522
- Mr. O'Brien.
- No, I'm Dylan Murphy.
156
00:07:37,689 --> 00:07:39,566
Mr. O'Brien had a long trip.
He's sleeping.
157
00:07:41,689 --> 00:07:43,008
I don't wanna disturb him.
158
00:07:44,009 --> 00:07:47,365
We're just really excited to meet him
face-to-face finally.
159
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,039
We're faithful readers
of his newsletter.
160
00:07:51,929 --> 00:07:54,363
- Newsletter?
- And, of course, his great book...
161
00:07:54,529 --> 00:07:55,848
...The Big Game.
162
00:07:56,369 --> 00:08:00,521
Oh, yes, he's very proud
of his work in The Big Game.
163
00:08:01,329 --> 00:08:04,526
- So you've never met him before?
- No.
164
00:08:05,449 --> 00:08:07,565
- Never seen a picture of him?
- Never.
165
00:08:07,889 --> 00:08:09,322
Not even on the book jacket?
166
00:08:09,929 --> 00:08:11,885
There was no picture
on the book jacket.
167
00:08:12,049 --> 00:08:15,166
Hey, O'Brien, wake up. Come on.
We got company.
168
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:16,842
Wake up.
169
00:08:20,169 --> 00:08:23,559
Well, hello. I'm O'Brien.
170
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:30,123
- Hey!
- Hey.
171
00:08:30,289 --> 00:08:32,200
You took a cab?
172
00:08:32,649 --> 00:08:34,048
Yeah. So?
173
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:35,528
How much do you make?
174
00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,042
- I'm not telling you.
- Come on.
175
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,086
- No.
- I'll tell you how much I make.
176
00:08:39,249 --> 00:08:40,728
I know how much you make.
177
00:08:43,409 --> 00:08:46,242
I don't even know why I'm doing this.
I don't even like basketball.
178
00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:49,566
- You ever seen Michael Jordan?
- Just in those commercials.
179
00:08:49,729 --> 00:08:52,641
Maybe you'll see him do
one of those 360 dunks.
180
00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:54,283
- What's that?
- It's like this.
181
00:08:54,449 --> 00:08:56,201
- Here, you guard me.
- What?
182
00:09:07,969 --> 00:09:10,039
I never get the tinted windows
on the limo.
183
00:09:10,209 --> 00:09:11,608
Nobody cares who's in the limo.
184
00:09:11,769 --> 00:09:14,158
You see a limo go by,
you know it's either a rich guy...
185
00:09:14,329 --> 00:09:16,285
...or 50 prom kids with $1.75 each.
186
00:09:19,129 --> 00:09:21,484
Being in the back of a limo,
I'm sorry, it's just-
187
00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:24,004
It's not that cool.
Most of the time, you feel like...
188
00:09:24,169 --> 00:09:27,844
...you're in some depressing single
guy's apartment from, like, 1975.
189
00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:30,682
All that maroon velour furniture...
190
00:09:30,849 --> 00:09:33,807
...couple of bottles of wine,
three cassette tapes. There's stains.
191
00:09:33,969 --> 00:09:37,041
You're counting, there must've been
10,000 asses already on this seat.
192
00:09:37,609 --> 00:09:40,681
- I don't think we'll make the tip-off.
- Think someone's been tipped off?
193
00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:45,967
So...
194
00:09:46,289 --> 00:09:48,245
You've read The Big Game,
have you?
195
00:09:48,409 --> 00:09:50,877
Yes, I've read it.
And I've memorized it.
196
00:09:51,569 --> 00:09:53,002
Well, tell me your impressions.
197
00:09:53,169 --> 00:09:56,366
I would love to hear what a young
woman thinks of The Big Game.
198
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:59,521
Well, this is sort of embarrassing.
199
00:10:00,049 --> 00:10:02,279
But it's changed my life.
200
00:10:02,449 --> 00:10:04,360
The way you analyse the game...
201
00:10:04,529 --> 00:10:08,522
...the way you identify
the major players...
202
00:10:08,689 --> 00:10:11,157
Well, it left me breathless.
203
00:10:11,449 --> 00:10:13,201
You're a brilliant...
204
00:10:13,369 --> 00:10:15,405
...brilliant man.
205
00:10:17,329 --> 00:10:19,524
Well, it's... It's just a game.
206
00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:21,122
Remember that, kids.
207
00:10:21,289 --> 00:10:23,883
"Just a game."He's so humble.
208
00:10:24,049 --> 00:10:26,119
Don't forget what you wrote
in the epilogue:
209
00:10:26,289 --> 00:10:30,123
"The fate of the world depends
on the outcome of this game."
210
00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:33,329
Well, I was exaggerating a bit.
Just for effect.
211
00:10:33,489 --> 00:10:36,925
- He tends to exaggerate.
- I mean, it's serious, but-
212
00:10:37,089 --> 00:10:40,923
We are really looking forward
to your speech tonight.
213
00:10:42,449 --> 00:10:43,802
My speech.
214
00:10:43,969 --> 00:10:47,041
Yes, your secretary
faxed me the copy.
215
00:10:48,369 --> 00:10:50,325
Would you like to
look it over?
216
00:10:53,969 --> 00:10:55,880
Well, you might as well
look it over.
217
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,325
So, what's going on?
How did all this happen?
218
00:10:58,489 --> 00:11:00,400
Jerry and George called me
from this limo.
219
00:11:00,569 --> 00:11:02,764
They said we're all going
to the Knicks-Bulls game.
220
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:04,078
Limo?
221
00:11:04,249 --> 00:11:06,160
I thought that George went
to pick him up.
222
00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:07,523
He did.
223
00:11:07,769 --> 00:11:09,919
Then why would they take a limo
from the airport?
224
00:11:10,089 --> 00:11:11,238
I don't know.
225
00:11:11,929 --> 00:11:13,920
That's pretty strange.
226
00:11:14,089 --> 00:11:15,647
Did he say anything else?
227
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,164
Yeah. He said it's really important...
228
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:21,799
...that we call them
O'Brien and Murphy.
229
00:11:23,329 --> 00:11:26,321
O'Brien? Why would he
wanna be called O'Brien?
230
00:11:27,929 --> 00:11:31,922
"And the Jews steal our money...
231
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:34,922
...through their
Zionist-occupied government...
232
00:11:35,089 --> 00:11:38,161
...and use the black man
to bring drugs...
233
00:11:38,329 --> 00:11:42,117
...into our oppressed
white minority communities."
234
00:11:43,929 --> 00:11:46,124
You're not gonna open with that,
are you?
235
00:11:55,129 --> 00:11:57,643
What was that you said
about the myth of the Holocaust?
236
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,163
Said so many things.
237
00:12:02,129 --> 00:12:03,721
They're shooting! They're shooting!
238
00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:05,481
All right, get down.
239
00:12:14,289 --> 00:12:16,484
I'm ready to die for you.
240
00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:21,521
Oh, that's really very nice of you,
Eva, thank you.
241
00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:23,645
But of course, you know, I would.
242
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,198
I would do anything for you.
243
00:12:26,889 --> 00:12:28,208
Anything.
244
00:12:29,729 --> 00:12:31,640
Nothing to worry about,
it was a flat tire.
245
00:12:31,969 --> 00:12:33,482
But rest assured...
246
00:12:33,889 --> 00:12:37,279
...we're prepared to handle anything
that might come up.
247
00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:46,407
Nice-looking Luger.
248
00:12:48,369 --> 00:12:50,519
I'm at The Paramount,
adjacent to Madison Square Garden...
249
00:12:52,089 --> 00:12:53,681
...where a growing number of
angry demonstrators...
250
00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:57,125
...gather to protest the first public
appearance of Donald O'Brien...
251
00:12:57,289 --> 00:13:00,087
...leader of the Midwestern
regional chapter of the Aryan Union...
252
00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,717
...and reputed to be their most
charismatic spokesman.
253
00:13:02,889 --> 00:13:06,359
Mr. O'Brien advocates the
violent overthrow of the government.
254
00:13:06,689 --> 00:13:09,726
He has openly professed
a deep admiration of Adolf Hitler.
255
00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:12,449
Even David Duke has denounced him
as a dangerous extremist.
256
00:13:12,609 --> 00:13:15,567
There is a full house inside
awaiting his arrival from the airport.
257
00:13:15,729 --> 00:13:19,165
Sources tell me he is en route
and should be arriving momentarily.
258
00:13:19,329 --> 00:13:21,797
Police have set up barricades,
but, quite frankly, Bill...
259
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:25,166
...I don't think they're any match for
the emotional fuse that has been lit.
260
00:13:25,329 --> 00:13:28,844
From The Paramount, I'm Jodi
Baskerville. Back to you in the studio.
261
00:13:29,289 --> 00:13:30,961
Something's very strange here.
262
00:13:31,129 --> 00:13:33,165
George goes to the airport
to pick up Jerry.
263
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:36,366
They come back in a limo with
four tickets to the basketball game...
264
00:13:36,529 --> 00:13:38,281
...and wanna be called
O'Brien and Murphy.
265
00:13:39,289 --> 00:13:42,361
O'Brien. O'Brien. Why O'Brien?
266
00:13:43,409 --> 00:13:44,603
Elaine?
267
00:13:45,289 --> 00:13:47,086
- Dan.
- Excuse me a minute. Hey.
268
00:13:47,249 --> 00:13:50,639
- Hi, Dan. How are you?
- Good.
269
00:13:50,849 --> 00:13:54,285
- Oh, this is Kramer.
- Oh, Kramer.
270
00:13:56,249 --> 00:13:57,443
What's going on?
271
00:13:57,609 --> 00:14:01,045
We're headed down to protest
this big neo-Nazi rally.
272
00:14:01,209 --> 00:14:03,882
The head of the Aryan Union
is speaking. He's in from Chicago.
273
00:14:04,049 --> 00:14:06,802
- You should come.
- Oh, we can't.
274
00:14:06,969 --> 00:14:08,880
We're going to the Knicks-Bulls game.
275
00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:12,519
Oh, well, that's where the rally is.
At The Paramount, right next door.
276
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:16,125
- Oh, well, maybe we'll run into you.
- Yeah, it's really gonna be something.
277
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:19,201
First time he's appeared in public.
No one knows what he looks like.
278
00:14:19,369 --> 00:14:21,724
- Who?
- The head of the Aryan Union.
279
00:14:21,889 --> 00:14:23,208
O'Brien.
280
00:14:28,849 --> 00:14:30,919
What's taking them
so long out there?
281
00:14:32,049 --> 00:14:33,846
Did you see the way
she was looking at me?
282
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:38,208
- She's a Nazi, George. A Nazi.
- I know, I know.
283
00:14:39,889 --> 00:14:41,322
Kind of a cute Nazi, though.
284
00:14:42,129 --> 00:14:43,562
We gotta make a plan.
285
00:14:43,729 --> 00:14:45,287
- What are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
286
00:14:45,449 --> 00:14:48,566
- Let's just make a run for it.
- I can't run. I have a bad hamstring.
287
00:14:48,729 --> 00:14:50,720
- How'd that happen?
- I hurt it in a hotel room.
288
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,357
Know how they tuck the covers in
real tight in those rooms?
289
00:14:53,529 --> 00:14:56,202
I can't sleep like that.
I tried to kick it out and pulled it.
290
00:14:56,369 --> 00:14:59,645
Why do they make that bed so tight?
You gotta sleep with your feet like that:
291
00:14:59,809 --> 00:15:04,644
It's for a mental patient. Wait a minute,
the phone. We'll call the police.
292
00:15:05,249 --> 00:15:06,443
911.
293
00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:10,526
She said she'd do anything.
294
00:15:10,689 --> 00:15:12,998
Yeah, hello. Police?
Yeah, listen...
295
00:15:13,169 --> 00:15:15,319
...we're in the back of a limo
in Queens-
296
00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:17,562
AstroTurf?
297
00:15:17,769 --> 00:15:19,760
You know who's
responsible for that, don't you?
298
00:15:19,929 --> 00:15:21,681
The Jews!
299
00:15:21,849 --> 00:15:25,000
Oh, the Jews hate grass.
They always have, always will.
300
00:15:25,169 --> 00:15:27,239
We'll be ready in a minute.
301
00:15:27,409 --> 00:15:29,127
Would you excuse us a minute,
Tim Boy?
302
00:15:29,289 --> 00:15:30,927
We're in the middle
of something here.
303
00:15:31,089 --> 00:15:34,001
With all due respect, Mr. O'Brien,
we're just about to leave.
304
00:15:40,609 --> 00:15:42,201
Tim?
305
00:15:42,369 --> 00:15:44,360
Who's the head of the Aryan Union?
306
00:15:44,529 --> 00:15:46,440
- You or me?
- You are.
307
00:15:46,609 --> 00:15:49,248
And who is responsible
for making hatemongering...
308
00:15:49,409 --> 00:15:52,128
- ... and fascism popular again?
- You are.
309
00:15:53,409 --> 00:15:55,001
Okay?
310
00:15:55,849 --> 00:15:57,328
I think you forgot something.
311
00:15:58,209 --> 00:15:59,767
- I'm sorry.
- Good.
312
00:15:59,969 --> 00:16:01,322
Now get out.
313
00:16:04,449 --> 00:16:06,917
- All right, what are we gonna do?
- I don't know.
314
00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:09,842
How's this: we wait till we get
to your street corner...
315
00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:11,920
...we see Elaine and Kramer,
then we get out.
316
00:16:12,089 --> 00:16:14,125
- They can't shoot us in the city.
- No.
317
00:16:14,289 --> 00:16:16,166
No one's ever been shot in the city.
318
00:16:19,289 --> 00:16:21,439
I'm telling you,
something is going on.
319
00:16:21,609 --> 00:16:24,203
I can feel it, sense it.
320
00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:28,080
- I'm sure he was just joking around.
- Oh, no, this is no joke.
321
00:16:28,249 --> 00:16:31,639
O'Brien's coming in from Chicago.
Jerry's in a limo, says he's O'Brien.
322
00:16:31,809 --> 00:16:33,128
That's not funny.
323
00:16:36,969 --> 00:16:38,687
Oh, my God.
324
00:16:39,409 --> 00:16:41,400
Yes. Yes!
325
00:16:41,569 --> 00:16:43,241
What? What is it?
326
00:16:43,409 --> 00:16:45,365
Don't you see?
There's always been something...
327
00:16:45,529 --> 00:16:49,158
...very strange about Jerry.
Always so clean and organized.
328
00:16:49,329 --> 00:16:51,524
- So?
- Do I have to spell it out for you?
329
00:16:51,689 --> 00:16:53,407
The limo? The name?
330
00:16:53,569 --> 00:16:55,719
The rally at Madison Square Garden?
331
00:16:55,889 --> 00:16:58,767
Jerry and O'Brien
are the same person.
332
00:16:59,009 --> 00:17:01,523
Jerry is the leader
of the Aryan Union.
333
00:17:01,689 --> 00:17:02,883
Jerry's a Nazi?
334
00:17:04,249 --> 00:17:06,285
I can't even believe I didn't see it.
335
00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:09,964
Listen, you idiot, just calm down.
336
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:12,563
I know Jerry. He's not a Nazi.
337
00:17:12,729 --> 00:17:15,926
- You don't think so?
- No. He's just neat.
338
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,323
You know, it's funny.
339
00:17:25,209 --> 00:17:26,608
You don't look like an O'Brien.
340
00:17:26,969 --> 00:17:28,368
Me?
341
00:17:28,529 --> 00:17:31,680
Yeah, right. Get a load of this guy.
342
00:17:33,809 --> 00:17:36,448
- And you don't look like a Murphy.
- I may not look like one...
343
00:17:36,609 --> 00:17:40,045
- ... but I act like a Murphy.
- He's extremely Murphy. To a fault.
344
00:17:40,449 --> 00:17:41,643
Where are you from?
345
00:17:42,169 --> 00:17:44,205
Dublin. Originally.
346
00:17:44,369 --> 00:17:47,281
Parents came over here
when I was 18.
347
00:17:47,449 --> 00:17:48,643
Cereal famine.
348
00:17:48,809 --> 00:17:51,403
Couldn't get a bowl anywhere.
It was bad.
349
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:53,400
'Tis a beautiful country, though.
350
00:17:53,569 --> 00:17:57,118
Lush rolling hills. And the peat.
351
00:17:57,289 --> 00:17:58,642
The peat.
352
00:17:59,769 --> 00:18:01,327
Sounds more like Scottish.
353
00:18:01,489 --> 00:18:03,081
We were right on the border.
354
00:18:05,649 --> 00:18:07,048
Maybe he's with the company.
355
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,321
- What?
- The CIA.
356
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:13,482
Maybe they placed him in there to
infiltrate the organization from within.
357
00:18:13,649 --> 00:18:16,038
- What about his comedy act?
- That's the perfect cover.
358
00:18:16,329 --> 00:18:17,967
All that time on the road.
359
00:18:18,129 --> 00:18:20,723
Look, Jerry, he's too normal
to be a comedian.
360
00:18:20,889 --> 00:18:23,039
These comedians,
they're sick, neurotic people.
361
00:18:23,529 --> 00:18:26,043
- Well, what about George?
- What about him? He's part of it.
362
00:18:26,209 --> 00:18:29,281
His whole personality's a disguise.
363
00:18:29,449 --> 00:18:31,565
There's no real person
can act the way he does.
364
00:18:31,929 --> 00:18:34,284
Elaine, I'm telling you,
they're with the organization.
365
00:18:34,449 --> 00:18:35,882
They're all part of it.
366
00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:39,246
He's in there with Helms and Hunt
and Liddy, that whole crowd.
367
00:18:39,409 --> 00:18:41,764
George and Jerry, they probably know
who killed Kennedy.
368
00:18:41,929 --> 00:18:43,408
I bet they were even in on it.
369
00:18:45,889 --> 00:18:48,164
All right, what are we gonna do?
What-?
370
00:18:48,329 --> 00:18:51,082
I'm not gonna let them hurt you.
I'm not gonna-
371
00:18:51,249 --> 00:18:53,001
Kramer, you're hurting me.
372
00:18:53,529 --> 00:18:55,724
Those are our friends
I told you about.
373
00:18:55,889 --> 00:18:58,198
- Get off of me!
- We're gonna talk to them. Pull over.
374
00:18:58,369 --> 00:18:59,961
- Get off of me!
- It's all right.
375
00:19:00,129 --> 00:19:02,199
- Get off!
- Hey, O'Brien!
376
00:19:02,369 --> 00:19:03,563
- O'Brien!
- Is that him?
377
00:19:03,729 --> 00:19:05,481
- Yeah, that's him!
- Look, there's O'Brien!
378
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:06,877
No-good Nazi bastard!
379
00:19:07,049 --> 00:19:08,368
- Let's get him!
- Get him!
380
00:19:08,529 --> 00:19:10,121
- What do we do?
- Get in the car!
381
00:19:10,289 --> 00:19:12,484
- Get in the car!
- What? What?
382
00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:14,437
Come on, hey!
383
00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:23,688
O'Brien. Long time, no see.
How's tricks, Murphy?
384
00:19:25,089 --> 00:19:27,887
Why did you call him O'Brien
and him Murphy?
385
00:19:28,049 --> 00:19:30,927
No, he was talking to me.
He's cross-eyed.
386
00:19:31,089 --> 00:19:32,681
It could be very confusing.
387
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,158
Yeah?
388
00:19:38,929 --> 00:19:41,124
- Eva?
- It's for me.
389
00:19:43,089 --> 00:19:44,283
Hello?
390
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:49,241
It's O'Brien.
391
00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:51,563
O'Brien?
392
00:19:51,969 --> 00:19:53,243
Well, that's weird.
393
00:19:55,729 --> 00:19:56,923
Who are you?
394
00:19:58,489 --> 00:20:00,286
- I'm Jerry Seinfeld.
- I'm George Costanza.
395
00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:01,677
This is a misunderstanding.
396
00:20:01,849 --> 00:20:03,601
His car broke down.
I told him to get-
397
00:20:03,809 --> 00:20:06,118
My car started shaking violently
about a mile out.
398
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:08,849
- So he picks me up without a car.
- And there was a line-
399
00:20:09,009 --> 00:20:10,283
The limo has just pulled up.
400
00:20:10,449 --> 00:20:12,679
It's being surrounded by
a huge crowd of protesters.
401
00:20:12,849 --> 00:20:14,760
This has the makings of
a very ugly scene.
402
00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:16,681
I just didn't have
anything to do tonight.
403
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:18,567
Then the phone rang
and it was Jerry.
404
00:20:18,729 --> 00:20:21,562
We just wanted a ride
into the city.
405
00:20:21,729 --> 00:20:24,118
He was supposed to pick me up,
but he didn't pick me up.
406
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,564
And tonight we were gonna go
to the basketball game-
407
00:20:26,729 --> 00:20:28,879
They're banging on the car,
trying to flip it over.
408
00:20:29,049 --> 00:20:32,121
The police seem unable
or unwilling to control the crowd.
409
00:20:32,289 --> 00:20:35,201
I would imagine Mr. O'Brien must be
having some very grave doubts...
410
00:20:35,369 --> 00:20:37,883
...if he made the right choice
for his first appearance.
411
00:20:38,049 --> 00:20:40,438
We did not want to
antagonize the Nazis.
412
00:20:40,609 --> 00:20:42,520
We have no intention
of upsetting the Nazis.
413
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:45,249
- I don't have a problem with Nazis.
- Do whatever you want.
414
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:50,437
- Don't bother us, we won't bother you.
- I don't wanna make a Nazi unhappy.
415
00:20:50,609 --> 00:20:52,088
- I swear. I swear.
- I swear.
416
00:20:52,249 --> 00:20:54,444
- I swear.
- I swear.
417
00:20:54,609 --> 00:20:56,998
- Get out!
- Open the door.
418
00:20:57,169 --> 00:20:58,761
Oh, look! Look, it's Dan.
419
00:20:59,089 --> 00:21:00,681
- Hi, Dan!
- Elaine?
420
00:21:01,169 --> 00:21:03,967
- Hi! Dan!
- Come on, let's go. Go.
421
00:21:05,089 --> 00:21:08,240
I am not O'Brien! I am not O'Brien!
422
00:21:08,409 --> 00:21:09,637
I repeat, I am not O'Brien!
423
00:21:09,809 --> 00:21:12,846
Ask anyone. Jerry! Jerry!
424
00:21:13,009 --> 00:21:16,160
So I was watching this movie
the other night, a World War ll movie.
425
00:21:16,329 --> 00:21:18,001
And there was Nazis in the movie.
426
00:21:18,169 --> 00:21:21,002
And I noticed that the Nazis
in those movies...
427
00:21:21,169 --> 00:21:23,080
...always had, like,
two separate Heis.
428
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:25,809
They had the regular Hei
that they would do...
429
00:21:25,969 --> 00:21:29,166
...and when they were around the
offices, they had this casual Hei.
430
00:21:29,329 --> 00:21:31,081
Remember that?
They'd come in the office:
431
00:21:31,249 --> 00:21:33,160
"Yeah, Hei, how are you? What's...?
432
00:21:33,329 --> 00:21:36,401
Is the kid back with coffee? Come on,
are you finished with the copier?
433
00:21:36,569 --> 00:21:38,287
Yeah, world domination, Aryan race.
434
00:21:38,449 --> 00:21:40,917
So whose doughnuts are those?
Yeah, Hei. Nice to see you.
435
00:21:41,089 --> 00:21:42,647
Can I have one
of those doughnuts?"
436
00:22:28,289 --> 00:22:30,280
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