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A thief!
4
00:02:44,100 --> 00:02:47,650
You rascal! Are you trying to steal?
5
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,894
Officer! A robbery!
[GUNSHOTS]
6
00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,091
Can't you see I'm working?
7
00:03:01,460 --> 00:03:03,451
I got you now!
8
00:03:04,660 --> 00:03:08,893
I'll break your arm!
9
00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:11,899
Nobody has ever stolen
anything, here.
10
00:03:12,100 --> 00:03:15,218
Sir! You dropped this.
11
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:19,493
- It's yours, right? Goodbye.
> A robbery!
12
00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,489
Officer, shoot!
Not her, shoot at the car!
13
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,658
- What?
- Shoot! - That one?
14
00:03:26,860 --> 00:03:28,851
Yes, at the car.
15
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,730
I missed it.
16
00:03:33,940 --> 00:03:36,500
- Shoot!
- Again?
17
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:07,292
- Dalmazio Siraghi? - Yes.
- Your uncle Aliprando wants to see you.
18
00:04:07,500 --> 00:04:09,491
Who is he?
19
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,697
Easy! Damn you.
20
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,531
Easy!
21
00:04:21,740 --> 00:04:23,731
You sons of bitches!
22
00:04:24,820 --> 00:04:26,811
Don't pull!
23
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:35,898
Calm down! I always wait
for you when you piss.
24
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,356
When I piss,
you create a ruckus!
25
00:04:38,437 --> 00:04:39,571
Excuse me
26
00:04:39,683 --> 00:04:41,266
- Yes?
- I'm blind.
27
00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:43,904
- I see.
- I need to go to the toilet.
28
00:04:44,024 --> 00:04:46,015
Could you help me?
29
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,491
- What do you mean?
- Could you watch my dog?
30
00:04:50,700 --> 00:04:56,696
A guy from Barletta, he had no arms,
he once asked me to, you know...
31
00:04:56,900 --> 00:05:02,100
Get it? ... Don't worry, I'll watch
your dog. You can blindly trust me.
32
00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:03,290
I'm sorry.
33
00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:08,491
Watch the step.
34
00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,291
There's another one.
35
00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,491
I'll give you your dog.
36
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:19,213
- Here.
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
37
00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,411
Easy.
38
00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:25,779
Those are proper dogs, not like you lot...
Crap!
39
00:05:25,980 --> 00:05:29,371
Mr. Blind! Mr. Blind!
40
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,891
Are you also deaf?
There's been a mix-up...
41
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,298
Easy! There's only
bread and tomatoes today.
42
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:52,491
Damn.
43
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:55,692
Stay calm, I'm not sharing!
44
00:05:57,300 --> 00:06:03,091
- Siraghi Amalio! Oh my lord!
The blind man had to go to the toilet...
45
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:08,295
...he asked me to watch the dog...
- Your uncle wants to see you.
46
00:06:08,500 --> 00:06:10,491
My uncle?
47
00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:18,692
Easy! Which uncle is this?
Aliprando Siraghi.
48
00:06:18,900 --> 00:06:21,699
He must be from mom's side.
49
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:26,497
But I don't have any uncles!
Who's this guy? Aliprando...
50
00:06:26,700 --> 00:06:30,978
You bastard! You all do it on purpose!
Go fetch it then!
51
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:11,897
- Do you have lighters?
- Shop opens at 8. Sorry.
52
00:07:12,100 --> 00:07:14,091
Fuck you!
53
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:18,897
You won't pay if I get fined, would you?
Competition is fierce, here!
54
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:22,331
[ALARM RINGS]
Goddammit.
55
00:07:34,940 --> 00:07:41,095
There you go. Please come again.
This is my turf.
56
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:46,090
I paid the concession.
This is my turf. Thank you.
57
00:07:46,300 --> 00:07:48,291
Goodbye!
58
00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,091
Thank you!
59
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:56,497
- The competition!
- Come on, boys! - No!
60
00:07:56,700 --> 00:08:00,694
This is our turf,
we paid the concession fee.
61
00:08:05,260 --> 00:08:08,776
Do you ever go to school?
Illegals!
62
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,891
Mine!
63
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,289
It's full of mosquitoes.
64
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:35,690
Tissues, ice creams, sandwiches,
lighters, lucky horns!
65
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,459
1000 lire, please!
66
00:08:37,660 --> 00:08:40,652
- Egisto Siraghi? - Yes.
- Your uncle wants to see you.
67
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:43,892
- I don't have any uncles!
- Your uncle Aliprando.
68
00:08:44,060 --> 00:08:47,690
Aliprando? Let me see.
69
00:08:47,900 --> 00:08:51,495
"Aliprando Siraghi,
Honorary Prince of Labour". No!
70
00:08:51,700 --> 00:08:53,896
Slow down!
71
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:59,652
"Truffle guy"!
Stop the car or I'll die!
72
00:09:52,700 --> 00:09:55,692
- Would you like to see this?
- Thank you.
73
00:10:06,100 --> 00:10:09,331
- Siraghi!
- Here! - Here I am.
74
00:10:10,900 --> 00:10:13,892
Your uncle is waiting for you.
Follow me.
75
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,491
After you.
76
00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:22,892
- He said "your uncle".
- The surname is Siraghi.
77
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,658
- I'm Egisto Siraghi
78
00:10:24,683 --> 00:10:27,721
- I'm Dalmazio Siraghi.
- I'm Amalio Siraghi.
79
00:10:27,802 --> 00:10:29,288
So we're related!
80
00:10:29,369 --> 00:10:32,975
Your mom owns
that greengrocer shop...
81
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:37,298
... In Milan, Via Torino?
- No, in Via Procaccini. - Yes.
82
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:44,099
- You mom was from Mola Di Bari.
- Yes. She was a maid in Barletta.
83
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:48,336
May we... ?
84
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,369
Hello? Good morning.
85
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,138
Please.
86
00:11:21,500 --> 00:11:23,969
Please, be seated.
87
00:11:24,900 --> 00:11:26,891
Sit down.
88
00:11:30,140 --> 00:11:32,131
Quick!
89
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:42,458
Egisto, Amalio, Dalmazio...
My dear nephews!
90
00:11:42,580 --> 00:11:48,098
We haven't met before, but you three
are my only descendents.
91
00:11:48,300 --> 00:11:53,500
Three poor excuses of a man,
three derelict wretches...
92
00:11:53,700 --> 00:11:56,897
... hopelessly condemned
to eternal poverty.
93
00:11:58,100 --> 00:12:01,536
But I, your uncle Aliprando...
94
00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:06,576
... will make you rich, like me.
Look around.
95
00:12:06,780 --> 00:12:13,698
What you see is the fruit
of years of hard work,
96
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:19,896
which I can't keep on doing,
due to unfortunate circumstances.
97
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:29,257
So I decided to employ you
as business partners. Happy?
98
00:12:29,460 --> 00:12:33,613
- Well... yes.
- But what should we do?
99
00:12:33,820 --> 00:12:36,334
Because we don't...
100
00:12:38,900 --> 00:12:41,540
- Pardon?
- Stealing.
101
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:46,098
- Taking stuff away?
- You think you can get rich...
102
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:51,295
...by staying honest? Are you honest?
- I am, they...
103
00:12:52,460 --> 00:12:55,452
- Are you rich?
- No. Really, I...
104
00:12:55,660 --> 00:13:01,690
And you have no hope of ever being rich.
I'll teach you the best job in the world...
105
00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:06,610
... it can yield big, tax-free profits
without any risk.
106
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:11,975
Excuse me, I'm familiar with it.
I'm a security guard.
107
00:13:12,180 --> 00:13:19,894
I'm sorry, Uncle, but I think
there are risks to this job.
108
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:24,492
No! Because you're not born a thief.
You become one.
109
00:13:24,700 --> 00:13:28,898
With method, dedication,
and professionalism.
110
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:33,651
So I decided I would teach you
the tricks of the trade. Agreed?
111
00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:39,295
We would agree, but...
[CONFUSED VOICES]
112
00:13:39,500 --> 00:13:43,289
Please, speak one at a time.
113
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:54,889
(barese dialect) We were thinking,
honestly speaking...
114
00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,893
Should I translate what he just said?
115
00:13:58,100 --> 00:14:01,456
In Italian. And clearly spoken.
116
00:14:01,660 --> 00:14:04,220
You have to CLEARLYSPOKE.
117
00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:08,974
So... dear uncle,
clearly speaking,
118
00:14:09,180 --> 00:14:13,253
I think we all agree.
- Good!
119
00:14:13,460 --> 00:14:17,693
But when are we supposed
to begin...
120
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:21,052
...this.... this job?
121
00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:27,529
After an adequate training period,
of course. Nero!
122
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:33,895
You have a month to turn these three
human carcasses...
123
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:37,297
... into perfect crime professionals!
124
00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:44,213
Agile, quick, brave, efficient!
Three true thieves!
125
00:14:44,460 --> 00:14:49,694
That's the window for the apartment
you need to rob.
126
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:54,690
You need to use grappling hooks.
Let's start with...
127
00:14:56,060 --> 00:14:59,098
Take a step forward
to volunteer.
128
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:02,660
Good! Come on!
129
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,370
Go, Egisto!
130
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:31,373
I can't stop! Stop me!
131
00:15:34,900 --> 00:15:36,891
> It hurts!
132
00:16:03,260 --> 00:16:05,251
I did it!
133
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:14,695
Next test is climbing down a rope
from a window.
134
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:17,938
Take a step forward
to volunteer.
135
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:21,171
- Over there!
- Where?
136
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,293
Good! But he always volunteers.
137
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:27,492
They do it on purpose!
I go here and they...
138
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:36,699
Come on, Amalio!
Remember, climb down very slowly.
139
00:16:36,900 --> 00:16:39,858
- Slowly?
- Yes
140
00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:44,889
I said slowly!
141
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:50,620
How are you doing?
142
00:17:02,700 --> 00:17:05,897
You were in my... trajectory...
143
00:17:06,100 --> 00:17:10,537
I'll move. I'm sorry!
Please be.. I'm sorry.
144
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:33,090
I threw it... it disappeared. Boom!
You see?
145
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,496
I'm not that familiar with it.
146
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,691
I'm going.
147
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:39,891
Again?
148
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:45,369
All right. Throw!
149
00:17:51,380 --> 00:17:55,499
You were there... I'm sorry.
Please be patient.
150
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:58,891
I'm throwing it, then.
151
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,413
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Who is it?
152
00:18:49,500 --> 00:18:51,491
So, Egisto...
153
00:18:52,900 --> 00:18:57,497
- You're connected to 800 Volts.
- Why?
154
00:18:57,700 --> 00:19:02,695
For your public transportation
pick-pocketing test.
155
00:19:02,900 --> 00:19:06,689
Any contact with a sensitive
spot on the mannequin...
156
00:19:06,900 --> 00:19:10,894
... will cause an electric discharge.
Look.
157
00:19:12,900 --> 00:19:16,530
- Are you mad?
- Brace yourself!
158
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,491
It's the usual daily grind!
159
00:19:40,500 --> 00:19:42,787
Look! I did it!
160
00:19:42,868 --> 00:19:47,657
Well done, Egisto!
You've got a velvet hand!
161
00:19:47,780 --> 00:19:51,660
Hold on tighter to your wallet
next time!
162
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:08,140
Amalio, are you ready for
the interrogation test?
163
00:20:08,221 --> 00:20:10,293
Yes.
164
00:20:10,420 --> 00:20:13,697
You did a hit with Giovanni.
165
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:18,895
- Who's Giovanni? I don't know him.
- It's a made up name, we're simulating.
166
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,433
- Oh! simulating!
167
00:20:21,458 --> 00:20:24,424
The police caught you and
you're being interrogated
168
00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:28,494
- While simulating, right?
- Yes. I'll be the police.
169
00:20:28,700 --> 00:20:34,173
You must not name Giovanni,
whatever I do to you.
170
00:20:34,380 --> 00:20:37,691
Hey! Let's level with each other here.
171
00:20:37,900 --> 00:20:40,938
Let's look at each other's face.
What does it mean?
172
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:45,498
You have this physique...
they say that people of color...
173
00:20:45,700 --> 00:20:50,490
- I wouldn't want...
- Speak, you bastard! Who do you work with?
174
00:20:50,700 --> 00:20:52,691
No!
175
00:20:57,700 --> 00:20:59,737
Who was there with you?
176
00:21:12,700 --> 00:21:14,691
Who was there with you?
177
00:21:16,500 --> 00:21:18,730
Well done. Congratulations.
178
00:21:20,140 --> 00:21:23,895
- You've resisted.
- You almost killed me!
179
00:21:24,100 --> 00:21:28,617
I would have never
named Giovanni.
180
00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,291
You fell for it!
181
00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,777
I make bastards like you
spit out their teeth!
182
00:21:46,780 --> 00:21:48,976
Take the rifle!
183
00:22:10,900 --> 00:22:14,416
Load! Aim!
184
00:22:16,140 --> 00:22:18,131
Fire!
185
00:22:22,900 --> 00:22:25,892
Quick! Hide everything.
186
00:22:28,380 --> 00:22:31,452
- Mine, mine!
- Mine, mine, mine!
187
00:22:36,500 --> 00:22:39,492
Careful with the plane now.
Fire!
188
00:23:02,820 --> 00:23:07,894
My dear boys, you passed
all the tests.
189
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,092
I am proud to inform you,
190
00:23:11,300 --> 00:23:15,294
that starting today, you are
certified thieves.
191
00:23:15,500 --> 00:23:20,893
And thus, my business partners!
Congratulations! Well done!
192
00:23:21,100 --> 00:23:27,619
Thank you, uncle. We need to talk about
a delicate topic.
193
00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:31,171
- We...
- You're right, the money.
194
00:23:31,380 --> 00:23:35,374
We'll deposit the proceedings from our
burglaries in a shared account...
195
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:39,699
... and we'll split it equally
at the end of the year.
196
00:23:39,900 --> 00:23:44,337
Excuse me, uncle. We are four people,
so you mean 25% each?
197
00:23:44,540 --> 00:23:49,694
No, I said equally.
50% to me...
198
00:23:49,900 --> 00:23:53,495
... and the other 50%
split among you three.
199
00:23:53,700 --> 00:23:56,931
- I'm sorry, but... you're a THIE--
- Excuse me?
200
00:23:59,500 --> 00:24:04,893
He meant to say that we don't know
how much we'll make from this job.
201
00:24:05,100 --> 00:24:10,129
That depends on you. If you apply
method and determination...
202
00:24:10,332 --> 00:24:13,830
... we could reach a yearly
revenue of 5 billion.
203
00:24:13,911 --> 00:24:15,361
Well...
204
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:19,016
Five billions?
When do we start?
205
00:24:19,220 --> 00:24:22,258
Tonight.
Let's synchronize our watches.
206
00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:27,136
- What time do you have?
- 9:40 - 10:20 - Mine's dead.
207
00:24:54,700 --> 00:24:57,692
I'll set up the alarm,
in case of thieves.
208
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:13,291
Who's got the keys?
209
00:26:09,100 --> 00:26:12,013
[POLICE SIREN]
210
00:26:14,900 --> 00:26:18,894
Our tip was right,
they're robbing the shop.
211
00:28:02,300 --> 00:28:07,295
What the fuck, why always me?
This is a mannequin too!
212
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:11,494
- I'm not a mannequin!
- This one, too. Let's surrender!
213
00:28:11,700 --> 00:28:14,055
Hands up!
214
00:28:20,900 --> 00:28:23,335
> See you soon.
- And your sister!
215
00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:31,094
- Thank you for the inhumane treatment.
- How much money do we have?
216
00:28:31,300 --> 00:28:33,291
Only 10,000 lire.
217
00:28:36,180 --> 00:28:38,171
Where do we go?
218
00:28:40,900 --> 00:28:42,891
Oh my god, it's Uncle!
219
00:28:44,100 --> 00:28:49,300
- He's pissed off.
- Of course he is. What will you do?
220
00:28:49,500 --> 00:28:55,815
We need to face the situation
with dignity. Come on.
221
00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:20,093
We did nothing wrong!
It's his fault!
222
00:29:20,300 --> 00:29:25,295
There must have been a son of a bitch
that snitched on us.
223
00:29:25,500 --> 00:29:29,209
- If I see him, I'm gonna f--
- It was me, my dears.
224
00:29:29,420 --> 00:29:32,890
Prison time hardens you.
It forges, it tempers you.
225
00:29:33,100 --> 00:29:37,890
It's a necessary experience,
just showing you how hard it is.
226
00:29:38,020 --> 00:29:42,218
In the future, you'll do whatever
you can to avoid it.
227
00:29:42,420 --> 00:29:45,299
[CONFUSED VOICES]
228
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:49,289
Please! One at a time!
229
00:29:49,500 --> 00:29:52,572
Just one of you speak, please.
But clearly.
230
00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:58,495
- Uncle!
- Aliprando! FUCK YOU!
231
00:29:58,700 --> 00:30:03,217
Truffle guy, pull over! Stop!
Let us out.
232
00:30:03,420 --> 00:30:08,096
Stop here. Let's get off, boys.
My van is near by.
233
00:30:08,300 --> 00:30:12,692
- We'll need it to get on from now.
- Don't be like that!
234
00:30:12,900 --> 00:30:15,210
Let's go.
235
00:30:15,420 --> 00:30:18,890
What happened, boys?
Did you get offended?
236
00:30:19,100 --> 00:30:22,092
Get back in the car.
237
00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:26,294
I'll bring you to your dear uncle's house,
let's go!
238
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:30,697
We decided we want
to make an honest living.
239
00:30:30,900 --> 00:30:35,019
Your criminal record is tainted now.
240
00:30:39,500 --> 00:30:42,811
- No!
- No! - No!
241
00:30:45,420 --> 00:30:47,411
Go, Nero.
242
00:30:56,300 --> 00:30:59,292
Welcome back, my dears!
243
00:30:59,500 --> 00:31:03,698
I was certain you would be back,
I was waiting for you.
244
00:31:03,900 --> 00:31:08,531
Now get some dinner, go rest,
and we'll start again tomorrow.
245
00:34:07,420 --> 00:34:13,291
A psychological trait you can exploit
is fear of death.
246
00:34:13,500 --> 00:34:19,496
It's an infallible leverage.
It will give you great results.
247
00:34:19,700 --> 00:34:23,091
I'm a scrupulous reader of the news,
248
00:34:23,300 --> 00:34:27,214
and I found out that a rich
farmer from Caserta...
249
00:34:27,420 --> 00:34:32,733
... has been admitted at the Salus
clinic for a routine operation.
250
00:34:41,900 --> 00:34:45,291
- Do you want to confess, son, before...?
- Before what?
251
00:34:45,500 --> 00:34:49,971
Before going to heaven.
Death comes and takes you away.
252
00:34:50,180 --> 00:34:52,296
Death?
253
00:34:52,500 --> 00:34:55,492
[WHISPERS IN FAKE LATIN]
254
00:35:02,140 --> 00:35:07,897
[WHISPERS]
What?
255
00:35:08,100 --> 00:35:12,458
- Lucky you, son, you're leaving us.
- I'm leaving?
256
00:35:16,300 --> 00:35:19,531
[WHISPERS IN FAKE LATIN]
257
00:35:20,300 --> 00:35:22,291
Bye.
258
00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:27,497
Nurse! Nurse!
259
00:35:28,500 --> 00:35:31,492
Sister, what is happening?
260
00:35:31,700 --> 00:35:37,969
I came for an appendicitis
and now they give me my last rites!
261
00:35:38,180 --> 00:35:42,378
- I'm so sorry, but the tests...
- What do they say?
262
00:35:43,492 --> 00:35:44,857
Two hours.
263
00:35:44,938 --> 00:35:49,076
Oh, my Lord! Isn't there a cure?
I want to live!
264
00:35:49,260 --> 00:35:53,094
Come to think of it,
there is a remedy.
265
00:35:53,300 --> 00:35:56,494
We need to call
Dr. Amalio Siraghi.
266
00:35:56,575 --> 00:35:58,853
Let's call him!
267
00:35:58,980 --> 00:36:03,736
The doctor is very busy.
I know he's away now...
268
00:36:03,940 --> 00:36:11,210
...fox hunting.
Plus, you'd need 40...
269
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,457
- What?
- 40 millions.
270
00:36:13,660 --> 00:36:17,096
All right, I will pay.
I have my bank account.
271
00:36:17,300 --> 00:36:21,498
In that case, the situation
changes from this...
272
00:36:21,700 --> 00:36:23,020
...to this.
273
00:36:29,900 --> 00:36:33,894
I can never manage
to finish a fox hunt!
274
00:36:34,100 --> 00:36:38,094
You all did this when I was in Paris,
and also that time in Nottingham!
275
00:36:38,300 --> 00:36:42,294
- Please Doctor, save me!
- Here. Clinical record, please.
276
00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:54,053
Ahi, Ahi, Ahi!
277
00:36:58,260 --> 00:37:01,252
We need to hurry.
Anesthesia.
278
00:37:03,300 --> 00:37:06,895
May God help you.
279
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:09,296
- He's a pessimist.
- I'm in your hands...
280
00:37:09,500 --> 00:37:14,290
- Just a little injection...
- Don't put me in too much pain. - Ready?
281
00:37:16,300 --> 00:37:18,291
Hey!
282
00:37:32,300 --> 00:37:35,850
- How long is the operation?
- Six hours.
283
00:37:43,100 --> 00:37:45,091
He's not waking up!
284
00:37:48,900 --> 00:37:50,891
Don't exaggerate.
285
00:37:59,700 --> 00:38:05,013
- Miracle!
- The doctor has done a miracle!
286
00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:07,609
Six hours under the blade!
287
00:38:08,700 --> 00:38:11,738
Do you feel better, son?
288
00:38:12,700 --> 00:38:17,490
I'm fine, just a little headache.
289
00:38:17,700 --> 00:38:21,898
It's because of... anesthesia.
It's a new drug.
290
00:38:23,100 --> 00:38:26,331
- You were born lucky.
- It's true.
291
00:38:27,300 --> 00:38:29,689
- The check.
- What?
292
00:38:29,900 --> 00:38:33,097
- The check!
- Yes, in the drawer.
293
00:38:35,020 --> 00:38:39,378
- Who do I write it to?
- Blank. - Blank!
294
00:38:44,700 --> 00:38:47,089
- Praised be Jesus Christ.
- Today and forever.
295
00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:49,860
- Here, Doctor.
- Thank you.
296
00:38:51,100 --> 00:38:54,297
- How much did you agree upon?
- Well... 40.
297
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:58,892
You know my fee is 80 millions!
But that's all right.
298
00:38:59,900 --> 00:39:02,289
- Doctor!
- What is it?
299
00:39:02,500 --> 00:39:06,892
- I don't know how to thank you.
- Me neither. You jolly old chap!
300
00:39:15,454 --> 00:39:16,860
What's going on?
301
00:39:17,032 --> 00:39:20,580
We're taking you
to the operation room.
302
00:39:20,700 --> 00:39:22,691
Again?!
303
00:40:54,500 --> 00:40:57,492
[INAUDIBLE VOICE]
304
00:41:28,260 --> 00:41:33,175
This is the pris--
The premises for sale.
305
00:41:33,180 --> 00:41:35,412
[Regina Coeli Prison in Rome]
What's your name? Mister...
306
00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,095
- Parson Robert Junior.
- Fuck... Junior.
307
00:41:39,300 --> 00:41:42,691
Do you see those grilles
in front of the windows?
308
00:41:42,900 --> 00:41:46,097
"Windows."
They're for security.
309
00:41:46,300 --> 00:41:48,963
I spent 1,750,000
dollars to have them.
310
00:41:49,044 --> 00:41:50,374
It's important.
311
00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:54,698
Security... you Americans are
fairly messed up right now, as we are.
312
00:41:54,900 --> 00:41:58,894
- Burglars won't get in.
- No, the burglars are already...
313
00:41:59,100 --> 00:42:03,458
If they're about to go in,
they will be able to...
314
00:42:03,660 --> 00:42:09,417
... but they won't be able to come out.
- They're trapped. - Yes, in a sense.
315
00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:12,493
Is the building occupied?
316
00:42:12,700 --> 00:42:16,694
Yes. It would cost
a billion dollars otherwise.
317
00:42:16,900 --> 00:42:21,815
But the folks in there
can't wait to move out.
318
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,458
- Proietti!
- I'm here!
319
00:42:28,660 --> 00:42:34,372
- You're out in three days!
- I'm so glad! Thank you!
320
00:42:36,500 --> 00:42:41,097
- Arturo!
- I'm here. - Can you hear me?
321
00:42:41,300 --> 00:42:45,498
- You'll be out in 2 or 3 days!
- I need to do another 15 years!
322
00:42:45,700 --> 00:42:49,295
He said he needs to stay
another 15 years.
323
00:42:49,500 --> 00:42:53,494
No, he said: "I've been here 15 years,
what do I have to do?"
324
00:42:53,700 --> 00:42:55,896
I'll say that he needs
to move out.
325
00:42:56,100 --> 00:43:00,697
- I’ll transfer you to Rebibbia!
< Thanks!
326
00:43:00,900 --> 00:43:02,891
See? They're happy.
327
00:43:03,020 --> 00:43:09,016
If you give me half of the sum
we'll agree upon tomorrow...
328
00:43:09,220 --> 00:43:12,690
200-300,000 dollars, You'll get it sooner!
- Check?
329
00:43:12,900 --> 00:43:15,892
No checks, or we'll
end up in there.
330
00:43:16,100 --> 00:43:18,489
Do you have any cash?
331
00:43:18,700 --> 00:43:23,092
- Not much, just $5,000
- They'll do fine.
332
00:43:23,300 --> 00:43:28,500
I'll take your watch, so tomorrow
I'll show your competition that you...
333
00:43:28,700 --> 00:43:31,692
- What your name?
- Parson Robert Junior.
334
00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:35,894
I'll show them that Junior
gave me his watch first.
335
00:43:36,100 --> 00:43:39,456
- Will you give me a receipt?
- Sure. Do you have a pen?
336
00:43:40,500 --> 00:43:44,289
- Is this gold? - Yes.
- It doesn't work. I'll take this.
337
00:43:44,500 --> 00:43:48,733
- "I hereby receive from Mr. ..."
- Parson Robert Junior.
338
00:43:50,020 --> 00:43:52,899
I'll just write "Junior".
339
00:43:53,100 --> 00:43:57,890
"$5000 and his watch."
340
00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:01,335
Signed, Mr. ... TATTARI
341
00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:07,695
I'll tell you what.
Do you see this map?
342
00:44:07,900 --> 00:44:11,973
Bring this to the notary tomorrow,
with this spirit level.
343
00:44:12,180 --> 00:44:17,300
See you at 10:30 at the notary's.
Now go do some shopping.
344
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:19,969
- I have no cash.
- Of course, you gave it all to me.
345
00:44:20,180 --> 00:44:24,299
I'll give you some Italian Lire, OK?
2-300,00 lire. Here.
346
00:44:24,500 --> 00:44:27,219
Actually, let's...
347
00:44:27,420 --> 00:44:30,173
Put your finger here.
348
00:44:30,380 --> 00:44:34,738
I'll take the last measurement.
Loot down the middle.
349
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:39,491
Is this OK?
350
00:44:55,580 --> 00:44:59,096
So, do you want to
give me your reports?
351
00:44:59,300 --> 00:45:02,497
- Yes, he wants to...
- No, you.
352
00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:06,295
- No, you!
- Me? - Yes.
353
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:12,291
So, after thinking for a bit...
354
00:45:12,500 --> 00:45:16,289
We are... I'm not sure
you get our point.
355
00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:20,892
We're not used to this,
we'd like to know...
356
00:45:21,100 --> 00:45:24,172
Uncle, we wanted to ask you for...
357
00:45:24,380 --> 00:45:28,692
Ask for anything,
just not money.
358
00:45:28,900 --> 00:45:32,894
You're not employees,
you're part of the company.
359
00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:38,095
The deal was that we would split
the profits at the end of the year.
360
00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,689
End of discussion.
361
00:45:45,700 --> 00:45:48,897
Hop! Hop! Hop!
362
00:45:49,100 --> 00:45:51,296
We're training. It's good for us.
363
00:45:51,500 --> 00:45:55,494
Come to my office in 30 minutes.
Business meeting.
364
00:46:04,260 --> 00:46:08,697
This girl's name
is Marisa Padovan
365
00:46:08,900 --> 00:46:12,894
She's a maid at the mansion
you see behind her.
366
00:46:13,100 --> 00:46:17,298
It's owned by a banker, Mr. Martuccelli.
He's filthy rich.
367
00:46:17,500 --> 00:46:19,969
Take a good look at her.
368
00:46:20,180 --> 00:46:21,932
OK. Nero, turn the lights on.
369
00:46:24,500 --> 00:46:29,017
Did you get a good look?
That mansion is full of silverware...
370
00:46:29,220 --> 00:46:34,215
... valuables, precious paintings,
jewelry and fur coats.
371
00:46:34,420 --> 00:46:38,095
A whole bunch of goodies.
Every Thursday...
372
00:46:38,300 --> 00:46:43,613
... Ms Padovan spends the afternoon
at the Tevere d'Oro ballroom.
373
00:46:43,820 --> 00:46:51,500
One of you should court her,
seduce her, and at the right moment...
374
00:46:51,700 --> 00:47:01,278
... make a wax mold
of the mansion's key.
375
00:47:02,900 --> 00:47:04,733
Which one of you should I send out?
376
00:48:08,100 --> 00:48:10,091
Move!
377
00:48:16,060 --> 00:48:19,291
Hey, Wanna dance with me?
378
00:48:19,500 --> 00:48:22,891
Come on! Wanna dance?
Just one dance!
379
00:48:23,100 --> 00:48:26,491
- Leave me alone!
- Come on! - Stop it!
380
00:48:26,700 --> 00:48:28,930
Go away, you're drunk!
381
00:48:29,140 --> 00:48:32,388
The lady doesn't want to dance,
leave her alone.
382
00:48:32,469 --> 00:48:33,373
Or what?
383
00:48:33,500 --> 00:48:36,618
- I'll give you a black eye. Understood?
- Oh yeah?
384
00:48:45,900 --> 00:48:47,891
May I?
385
00:49:04,940 --> 00:49:08,934
What's your name? I want to know...
No, wait. I'll guess.
386
00:49:09,140 --> 00:49:13,691
- How can you guess?
- Your name is... wait.
387
00:49:13,900 --> 00:49:17,495
Your name is...
A, B, C, D, E, F, G...
388
00:49:17,700 --> 00:49:20,692
It starts with M.
Your name is Marisa.
389
00:49:20,900 --> 00:49:24,097
- It is!
- I'll tell you your last name.
390
00:49:24,300 --> 00:49:29,500
Your last name is...
A, B, C, D, E, F, G... M... P...
391
00:49:29,700 --> 00:49:31,691
Padovan!
392
00:49:31,900 --> 00:49:35,894
- You're a wizard!
- No, I'm Egisto.
393
00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:41,652
It's so hot in here. Let's get out.
I have a hot "iron" outside.
394
00:49:55,500 --> 00:49:58,492
How beautiful! Is this an Argenta?
395
00:49:58,700 --> 00:50:02,091
No, it's a luxury car.
It's a Rolls Royce.
396
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:05,497
It costs 250 millions.
397
00:50:05,700 --> 00:50:10,171
- So you're rich.
- Let's just say I'm filthy.
398
00:50:10,380 --> 00:50:14,089
- What are you doing?
- I wanted to try out the electric seats.
399
00:50:14,300 --> 00:50:19,329
No, I wanted to overwhelm
every sense of yours.
400
00:50:19,540 --> 00:50:22,419
- Here? Don't you have a house?
- Yes.
401
00:50:22,620 --> 00:50:26,295
Of course. In Via Rosina 16.
It's beautiful.
402
00:50:26,500 --> 00:50:32,690
It's a big house, with six bathrooms,
six kitchenettes, six bedrooms...
403
00:50:32,900 --> 00:50:36,689
... six kitchens... you're a babe!
404
00:50:36,900 --> 00:50:40,689
- Will you take me there?
- I can't!
405
00:50:40,900 --> 00:50:46,293
- I can't explain why.
- Are you embarrassed I'm a maid?
406
00:50:46,500 --> 00:50:49,492
Even if you were a spade,
I couldn't take you there.
407
00:50:49,700 --> 00:50:52,692
But I want you now!
Don't say no!
408
00:50:52,900 --> 00:50:56,370
You're so violent! You're so manly!
409
00:50:57,700 --> 00:51:00,499
You're so horny!
410
00:51:01,500 --> 00:51:04,891
My dear, that's the handbrake.
411
00:51:05,060 --> 00:51:08,291
(TV) Next up: "To Catch a Thief".
412
00:51:08,500 --> 00:51:11,652
Turn it off!
I don't like documentaries.
413
00:51:16,100 --> 00:51:19,297
Uncle! What a woman!
What a character!
414
00:51:19,500 --> 00:51:23,095
I'm in love, I'm crazy in love!
415
00:51:23,300 --> 00:51:25,291
The keys?
416
00:51:26,500 --> 00:51:30,892
What? No!
Did you take the wax mold?
417
00:51:31,100 --> 00:51:35,173
- What mold?
- The keys to the mansion!
418
00:51:36,100 --> 00:51:38,091
What an idiot!
419
00:51:38,300 --> 00:51:42,089
I was there... Touching here,
touching there...
420
00:51:42,300 --> 00:51:46,089
- I touched her knee, then the shifter...
- You're an idiot!
421
00:51:46,300 --> 00:51:52,091
A true thief never succumbs
to desire. Go away!
422
00:51:52,300 --> 00:51:56,498
- If you'd met her, you'd change your mind.
- I haven't met her.
423
00:51:56,700 --> 00:51:59,692
She's a fantastic woman.
424
00:51:59,900 --> 00:52:02,892
- If you'd met her...
- Get out.
425
00:52:03,100 --> 00:52:06,889
If you'd met her...
What a woman!
426
00:52:07,100 --> 00:52:09,535
- If you'd met her...
- Nero!
427
00:52:11,700 --> 00:52:13,691
If you'd met her...
428
00:52:17,300 --> 00:52:19,291
Idiot.
429
00:52:41,900 --> 00:52:44,096
[CLICKING NOISE]
430
00:53:14,900 --> 00:53:20,054
- Marisa Padovan!
- You also know my name?
431
00:53:22,100 --> 00:53:26,094
I see. While you were making love
to my nephew...
432
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:31,295
... you took a wax mold of his keys.
Well done!
433
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:37,212
- So this is a family of psychics.
- I could call the police.
434
00:53:37,420 --> 00:53:39,889
No, please, don't do it!
435
00:53:40,060 --> 00:53:45,260
No? If I don't, what will you
give me in return?
436
00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:09,094
That's enough.
437
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:14,090
Thank you, but I'm paralyzed
from the waist down.
438
00:54:14,300 --> 00:54:17,099
- What can I do for you, then?
- A hit.
439
00:54:17,300 --> 00:54:19,291
What do you mean?
440
00:54:19,460 --> 00:54:20,894
A robbery!
441
00:54:22,900 --> 00:54:26,939
So... you're also a thief!
442
00:54:27,140 --> 00:54:30,895
I've dreamt of being part of a hit
since I was a little girl.
443
00:54:31,100 --> 00:54:36,174
Calm down. Go home and
get ready for Thursday.
444
00:54:36,380 --> 00:54:40,692
I can't wait!
Can't we do it tomorrow?
445
00:54:40,900 --> 00:54:44,894
No, I need to study the details.
I'm not an amateur.
446
00:54:45,100 --> 00:54:48,496
Also, my nephews will be
at the beach, tomorrow.
447
00:54:48,577 --> 00:54:50,526
Nephews? At the beach?
448
00:54:50,607 --> 00:54:51,961
Yes...
449
00:54:54,500 --> 00:54:58,175
The changing room is over there,
straight ahead.
450
00:54:58,380 --> 00:55:00,690
Straight ahead.
451
00:55:00,900 --> 00:55:03,540
Men with men,
and women with men.
452
00:55:03,740 --> 00:55:06,300
- Is this guarded?
- Of course.
453
00:55:06,500 --> 00:55:10,539
- I've got my wallet, my gold Rolex...
- That's why we're here.
454
00:55:10,740 --> 00:55:13,732
We're from [garbled] Security of Paris.
455
00:55:13,940 --> 00:55:18,153
Actually, let me give you
the keys to your box.
456
00:55:18,234 --> 00:55:19,419
Thanks
457
00:55:19,500 --> 00:55:21,491
One moment.
458
00:55:26,420 --> 00:55:31,699
Excuse me, Miss. If you lose this at sea,
you'll end up blaming us.
459
00:55:31,900 --> 00:55:33,891
I'll keep it for you.
460
00:55:35,300 --> 00:55:36,495
51!
461
00:55:42,900 --> 00:55:47,178
- Go ahead! Stop, body search!
- I don't have anything.
462
00:55:47,380 --> 00:55:51,499
This is a private beach.
what if you're armed? Let's see.
463
00:55:51,700 --> 00:55:53,620
Stop it!
464
00:55:53,701 --> 00:55:58,570
Go on. Your hand
grenades are disarmed. Next!
465
00:55:58,651 --> 00:56:01,120
- Ball!
- Where?
466
00:56:01,700 --> 00:56:03,691
Curve ball!
467
00:56:08,300 --> 00:56:12,931
I wanted to kick a curve ball
like Maradona, but...
468
00:56:13,140 --> 00:56:19,978
I'll give you the ball. Here.
Goodbye. I'm going.
469
00:56:26,300 --> 00:56:30,373
- Excuse me.
- Excuse my ass... Watch your... step...
470
00:56:38,300 --> 00:56:40,416
- I'm going.
- Get in.
471
00:56:58,900 --> 00:57:02,780
- Stop! - My money!
(effeminate voice) Thief!
472
00:57:02,980 --> 00:57:05,494
Faggot!
473
00:57:05,700 --> 00:57:08,089
[PHONE RINGS]
474
00:57:11,380 --> 00:57:13,894
Hello?
475
00:57:14,100 --> 00:57:17,889
Mr. Minozzi, It's the
Luxembourg Embassy.
476
00:57:18,100 --> 00:57:20,091
I'll be right there.
477
00:57:21,220 --> 00:57:23,171
Hello?
478
00:57:23,252 --> 00:57:25,771
I'm from the Embassy.
The grand-duke's daughter...
479
00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:29,894
... duchess Katherine,
is currently visiting Rome.
480
00:57:30,100 --> 00:57:33,616
She'd like to purchase
some of your fur coats.
481
00:57:33,820 --> 00:57:38,451
We will organize a private show
for her in our atelier.
482
00:57:38,660 --> 00:57:43,734
Thank you. Her secretary, the Count of
Wanderwurstel will be accompanying her.
483
00:57:45,300 --> 00:57:47,894
Thank you, Mr. Minozzi.
484
00:57:48,100 --> 00:57:50,091
There you go.
485
00:57:56,500 --> 00:57:58,696
Please, start.
486
00:58:45,260 --> 00:58:48,935
- Is it not to your liking?
- This?
487
00:59:01,300 --> 00:59:03,291
- Is it good?
- Yes.
488
00:59:06,300 --> 00:59:08,769
- One more?
- No, thank you.
489
00:59:13,060 --> 00:59:16,291
So, you and Egisto will go
to the show...
490
00:59:16,500 --> 00:59:19,777
... and you'll pretend to buy
some fur coats.
491
00:59:19,980 --> 00:59:25,180
- Egisto, are you listening?
- Ah! Yes, uncle! At your service!
492
00:59:27,500 --> 00:59:31,494
I'll tell you what to do later.
Ah, Nero!
493
00:59:34,300 --> 00:59:36,291
This is for you.
494
00:59:40,060 --> 00:59:44,258
- It's marvelous!
- It belonged to my poor wife...
495
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:47,293
... but it will fit you splendidly.
496
00:59:49,180 --> 00:59:52,172
Don't tell me you're jealous of
a paralyzed old man!
497
00:59:56,060 --> 00:59:58,051
What if a miracle happens?
498
01:00:27,500 --> 01:00:31,494
Excellent choice, Katherine.
You have great taste.
499
01:00:31,700 --> 01:00:35,694
We live in a cold climate,
so we need hair. Lots of hair.
500
01:00:35,900 --> 01:00:39,336
The more hair, the better!
We'll take two.
501
01:00:40,300 --> 01:00:42,689
They're very expensive.
502
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:44,891
Four, then.
503
01:01:12,180 --> 01:01:14,330
One wild mink.
504
01:01:15,500 --> 01:01:17,491
One Lynx.
505
01:01:18,420 --> 01:01:21,492
One white mink, Gardenia model...
506
01:01:21,700 --> 01:01:27,491
The duchess has chosen 19 furs
for a total of 334 millions.
507
01:01:27,700 --> 01:01:30,135
- Shit!
- Too much? - No!
508
01:01:30,340 --> 01:01:34,618
In our language, it means
"what a steal!".
509
01:01:34,820 --> 01:01:39,974
Please deliver the items tomorrow
at the embassy at 14:00.
510
01:01:40,180 --> 01:01:45,095
Our treasurer will provide you
with payment in cash!
511
01:01:45,300 --> 01:01:47,291
With cash...ual greetings!
512
01:01:53,020 --> 01:01:55,580
- Shall we go?
- Yes.
513
01:02:21,140 --> 01:02:25,293
Good Morning.
I'm looking for the Passport office.
514
01:02:25,500 --> 01:02:30,290
- Thank you! First floor, room 24.
- Room 24, first floor.
515
01:02:30,500 --> 01:02:32,889
- You're very kind.
- You're welcome.
516
01:02:33,100 --> 01:02:37,298
One more thing. I'm waiting for
Mr. Minozzi.
517
01:02:37,500 --> 01:02:39,696
- Mr. Minozzi.
- Yes.
518
01:02:39,900 --> 01:02:45,293
- My name is Francesco The Duchess.
- Francesco The Duchess.
519
01:02:45,500 --> 01:02:49,698
Call me when Mr. Minozzi
arrives. I'll be upstairs.
520
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:53,894
- OK
- I'll be upstairs... - And I'll call you.
521
01:02:54,100 --> 01:02:59,493
- Repeat that.
- Mr. The Duchess is expecting Mr. Minozzi.
522
01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:03,694
- Yes.
- Thank you. You're welcome. Goodbye.
523
01:03:03,900 --> 01:03:06,892
- I'm in your hands!
- Don't worry.
524
01:03:24,220 --> 01:03:27,212
Don't take out the fur coats
just yet.
525
01:03:33,500 --> 01:03:37,494
- Good morning. I'm Mr. Minozzi.
- You're looking for The Duchess. - Yes.
526
01:03:37,700 --> 01:03:41,375
- I'll call upstairs. Please, have
a seat in the waiting room.
527
01:03:44,900 --> 01:03:46,573
Passport Office?
528
01:03:52,060 --> 01:03:54,700
Duchess, what a pleasure.
529
01:03:54,900 --> 01:03:57,892
- How are you? - Fine.
- Did you bring everything? - Yes.
530
01:03:58,100 --> 01:04:01,252
- Even the really long furs? - Yes.
- I can't wait to wear them!
531
01:04:01,460 --> 01:04:04,054
I'll have them brought
here immediately.
532
01:04:04,260 --> 01:04:08,891
- No, no... - What?
- Duchess, you know our motto.
533
01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:13,043
Our motto is: "Pay first,
fur later".
534
01:04:13,124 --> 01:04:14,441
That's right.
535
01:04:14,597 --> 01:04:17,496
- Is the treasurer here?
- Yes, over here.
536
01:04:17,577 --> 01:04:19,830
- Where will you put the money?
- In my bag.
537
01:04:19,925 --> 01:04:22,994
- Over 300 millions?
- It's safe.
538
01:04:23,100 --> 01:04:28,300
This is also a safe place,
but a stranger might come in.
539
01:04:28,500 --> 01:04:32,494
- You know, thieves... I wouldn't trust it.
- I've got my guards.
540
01:04:32,700 --> 01:04:35,692
- Call your guards, trust me!
- What about the coats?
541
01:04:35,900 --> 01:04:39,495
Police is outside our door,
day and night.
542
01:04:39,700 --> 01:04:44,820
- It's not a problem? - Of course not.
- Should we call them? - Let's go.
543
01:04:59,700 --> 01:05:02,010
Excuse me! Come here.
544
01:05:04,100 --> 01:05:07,889
- Do you wear the clothes you sell?
- Of course.
545
01:05:08,100 --> 01:05:13,129
A nice sheepskin coat
would suit you well. Let's go.
546
01:05:15,980 --> 01:05:19,689
- It's hot.
- Very hot. - What a day!
547
01:05:22,500 --> 01:05:25,891
> Occupied
- What? Mr. Minozzi is here.
548
01:05:26,100 --> 01:05:30,936
> One moment, I'm almost done.
- He's counting 300 millions.
549
01:05:31,140 --> 01:05:34,622
I'll wait, cash in,
and unload the coats.
550
01:05:34,703 --> 01:05:36,977
What a genius!
551
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:42,698
I'll be going. All the best to you
and your coats. Goodbye!
552
01:05:49,140 --> 01:05:52,132
[FLUSHING NOISE]
553
01:06:03,420 --> 01:06:05,457
Thief! Thief!
554
01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:16,491
> Police!
555
01:06:17,340 --> 01:06:20,378
Police, stop him!
556
01:06:24,380 --> 01:06:28,897
- Follow that van.
- One moment. Calm down.
557
01:06:29,100 --> 01:06:33,378
All units, follow the car
full of fur coats!
558
01:06:36,940 --> 01:06:39,932
- Hi, uncle.
- Egisto, hi!
559
01:06:40,140 --> 01:06:44,896
- Help me trim the daisies.
- Yes. - What's the matter?
560
01:06:45,100 --> 01:06:49,298
- I wanted to give you some good news.
- What is it?
561
01:06:49,500 --> 01:06:52,936
Marisa and I are in love.
We'd like to get married.
562
01:06:53,140 --> 01:06:57,338
- Absolutely not.
- Why? - Because!
563
01:06:57,540 --> 01:07:00,182
If you get married, you'll want
to spend every night with her.
564
01:07:00,207 --> 01:07:03,003
- Of course.
- No!
565
01:07:03,180 --> 01:07:08,493
It's bad for you. It will cloud
your reflexes, you won't be lucid.
566
01:07:08,700 --> 01:07:11,294
At the end of the year,
you'll do what you want.
567
01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:14,777
Either you gave me your blessing,
or I'm getting out of here!
568
01:07:14,980 --> 01:07:18,291
- Is this blackmail?
- Yes. - So go get married.
569
01:07:18,500 --> 01:07:22,892
On the condition that you and Marisa
don't see each other...
570
01:07:23,100 --> 01:07:28,937
... until the end of the year.
- I can't quite grasp the concept.
571
01:07:29,140 --> 01:07:31,893
- What does it mean?
- No sexual intercourse.
572
01:07:32,100 --> 01:07:34,694
- Not even on the first night?
- Especially on the first night!
573
01:07:34,900 --> 01:07:38,131
- Is this blackmail?
- Yes. - Then I'll cut these!
574
01:07:38,340 --> 01:07:39,535
Your loss!
575
01:07:44,300 --> 01:07:49,295
Dearest Egisto and Marisa,
you are here so that your love...
576
01:07:49,500 --> 01:07:53,892
... may receive consecration
before a minister of the Church.
577
01:07:54,100 --> 01:07:57,092
You are already consecrated with
Baptism.
578
01:07:57,300 --> 01:08:00,292
Now Christ blesses you with
the nuptial sacrament...
579
01:08:00,500 --> 01:08:04,573
... so that you'll love each other
of a faithful, endless love.
580
01:08:10,300 --> 01:08:16,330
(sings)O Virgin Mary!
581
01:08:18,300 --> 01:08:21,656
O Merciful!
582
01:08:29,460 --> 01:08:34,694
Excuse me, sir. You're smoking
during the ceremony...
583
01:08:36,180 --> 01:08:38,296
Please, keep smoking.
584
01:08:38,500 --> 01:08:41,219
Do you have a cigarette?
I'd like to smoke too.
585
01:08:41,420 --> 01:08:44,219
Mother of sorrow...
586
01:08:50,140 --> 01:08:56,136
Will you, Marisa, take Egisto to be
your husband...
587
01:08:56,340 --> 01:09:00,891
... under the rite of the
Holy Roman Church? - Yes.
588
01:09:01,100 --> 01:09:06,698
Will you, Egisto, take Marisa to be
your wife...
589
01:09:06,900 --> 01:09:10,495
... under the rite of the
Holy Roman Church?
590
01:09:18,500 --> 01:09:21,697
- Yes. He said yes.
- Exchange your rings.
591
01:09:29,300 --> 01:09:31,291
They're cute, aren't they?
592
01:09:34,060 --> 01:09:36,051
You may kiss the bride.
593
01:09:58,700 --> 01:10:01,692
Nephews, I have gathered you here...
594
01:10:01,900 --> 01:10:06,736
... because tomorrow marks the end
of our fist year in business...
595
01:10:06,940 --> 01:10:10,695
... and we will subsequently divide
our profits.
596
01:10:10,900 --> 01:10:15,210
Uncle, can I say something?
You are... I mean...
597
01:10:15,291 --> 01:10:16,686
I get it.
598
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:19,418
To award your hard work...
599
01:10:19,620 --> 01:10:24,217
I have studied and devised for you...
the heist of the century!
600
01:10:24,420 --> 01:10:28,414
- Take a seat, please.
- There? Yes, go ahead.
601
01:10:29,620 --> 01:10:31,611
Nero?
602
01:10:34,180 --> 01:10:37,696
This is the floor plan of
the Van Cliff Jewelry store.
603
01:10:37,900 --> 01:10:42,610
It's impenetrable from the outside.
The only weak spot is right here.
604
01:10:44,140 --> 01:10:46,416
- The jacks?
- Yes, the toilet.
605
01:10:46,620 --> 01:10:50,978
You'll get in from exactly this spot.
606
01:10:51,180 --> 01:10:53,820
I'll tell you how later.
607
01:10:54,020 --> 01:10:59,777
But watch out: you need to go through
the room without making any noise.
608
01:10:59,980 --> 01:11:04,611
You'll reach the vault, which contains
valuables worth 5 billions...
609
01:11:04,820 --> 01:11:07,619
... in utmost silence.
610
01:11:07,820 --> 01:11:10,619
Why do it like that?
611
01:11:10,820 --> 01:11:12,811
Nero?
612
01:11:16,980 --> 01:11:22,293
This is an exact replica of the complex
sound-based alarm...
613
01:11:22,500 --> 01:11:24,730
... that's fitted in the jewelry store.
614
01:11:24,940 --> 01:11:28,934
I'll give you a demonstration.
Be quiet.
615
01:11:42,060 --> 01:11:46,054
[SNAPS FINGERS, ALARM RINGS]
616
01:11:48,540 --> 01:11:53,171
- All clear. Do you understand?
- Yes.
617
01:11:53,380 --> 01:11:56,175
It's ear-splitting.
618
01:11:56,256 --> 01:11:59,775
It only takes a sound
over 1 decibel and you'll be...
619
01:12:01,780 --> 01:12:05,304
Excuse me...
What if it's over 2 decibels?
620
01:12:05,657 --> 01:12:07,250
So...
621
01:12:08,700 --> 01:12:12,819
To cut the bars in the vault
without making noise...
622
01:12:13,020 --> 01:12:19,653
Come, Nero. I've ordered this
silent laser from Germany.
623
01:12:19,780 --> 01:12:24,616
Once you breach the room,
you'll get inside, again, very quietly,
624
01:12:24,820 --> 01:12:28,256
and all you'll have to do is open the safe.
- That's it?
625
01:12:28,460 --> 01:12:32,169
- It's child's play, then!
- No
626
01:12:32,380 --> 01:12:38,376
It's a specific model of door,
practically impenetrable.
627
01:12:38,954 --> 01:12:42,577
Only one person in the
world can crack it open.
628
01:12:42,760 --> 01:12:43,804
Who is it?
629
01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:48,655
(All) You?
- Yes, me.
630
01:12:48,860 --> 01:12:53,775
But... excuse me, Miss...
I mean, Mr. Uncle.
631
01:12:53,980 --> 01:12:59,373
Given your miserab-- your physical
condition, you won't be able to come.
632
01:12:59,580 --> 01:13:03,574
But I will be there.
633
01:13:27,860 --> 01:13:30,613
Uncle, we're going
into the manhole.
634
01:13:32,620 --> 01:13:36,773
Good. Proceed to the
sewage conduit...
635
01:13:36,980 --> 01:13:40,769
... marked by the letter A.
636
01:13:46,780 --> 01:13:48,771
Come on!
637
01:13:56,580 --> 01:14:00,574
["JAWS" THEME]
638
01:14:16,060 --> 01:14:18,449
Get inside the tunnel now.
639
01:14:29,940 --> 01:14:35,116
- We're through, uncle.
- Good. Commence demolition.
640
01:14:48,420 --> 01:14:50,775
How is it going?
641
01:14:50,980 --> 01:14:54,974
Very well, uncle.
Turn on the laser.
642
01:14:57,700 --> 01:14:59,691
Fantastic!
643
01:15:29,820 --> 01:15:32,858
Watch out, security is coming.
644
01:15:33,060 --> 01:15:36,052
- Stop, security is here!
- Ah!
645
01:15:45,460 --> 01:15:49,499
- Where are you going?
- I need to go to the toilet.
646
01:16:16,100 --> 01:16:20,412
- Are you done?
- My belly aches, now.
647
01:16:20,620 --> 01:16:23,260
I haven't gone for 3 days.
648
01:16:23,460 --> 01:16:25,929
We're late, let's go.
649
01:16:43,140 --> 01:16:46,735
- Everything clear?
- Yes, don't worry.
650
01:16:51,860 --> 01:16:56,172
The guards have re-engaged
the alarm.
651
01:16:56,380 --> 01:17:02,490
You can get into the store,
but you must avoid any noise.
652
01:17:02,700 --> 01:17:08,139
You must work in absolute silence.
Remember: absolute silence.
653
01:17:37,020 --> 01:17:42,971
Starting now, you have 80 seconds
to open the safe.
654
01:17:43,180 --> 01:17:45,171
Go!
655
01:18:47,740 --> 01:18:49,731
Half a turn clockwise.
656
01:18:52,180 --> 01:18:55,172
A quarter turn counterclockwise.
657
01:18:59,700 --> 01:19:03,409
Another half-turn clockwise.
658
01:19:12,860 --> 01:19:17,172
Quarter turn counterclockwise.
659
01:19:28,660 --> 01:19:31,857
Stop! That's it.
660
01:19:32,060 --> 01:19:34,051
Open it.
661
01:19:57,780 --> 01:19:59,179
[AMALIO WHISTLES]
662
01:19:59,380 --> 01:20:01,371
[ALARM]
663
01:20:05,260 --> 01:20:10,289
Hello, uncle?
It wasn't me, it was him!
664
01:20:10,500 --> 01:20:12,571
You dickhead!
665
01:20:12,780 --> 01:20:15,374
You idiots! Dumbasses!
666
01:20:16,380 --> 01:20:19,577
No, stop! Don't panic.
Empty the safe.
667
01:20:19,780 --> 01:20:23,375
You have 25 seconds before
the police gets there.
668
01:20:23,580 --> 01:20:27,813
We have 20 seconds! Take it all!
The bags!
669
01:20:30,460 --> 01:20:32,451
What do I pick?
670
01:20:46,140 --> 01:20:50,293
The police is coming! Go! Go!
They'll catch us!
671
01:20:50,500 --> 01:20:52,491
Here.
672
01:21:14,940 --> 01:21:17,932
- We're safe!
- Watch out!
673
01:21:20,060 --> 01:21:22,336
Here they are!
Let's go!
674
01:21:22,540 --> 01:21:25,453
Go go go!
675
01:21:29,460 --> 01:21:32,452
- Which way?
- Here!
676
01:21:43,340 --> 01:21:48,619
- The police is here!
- What happened?
677
01:21:48,820 --> 01:21:53,371
- The must be looking for somebody.
- Maybe there's been a theft.
678
01:21:53,580 --> 01:21:56,538
My young ladies,
how's it going?
679
01:21:56,740 --> 01:21:59,771
Let's go have fun at the disco.
680
01:21:59,852 --> 01:22:02,709
We'll find ourselves four
machos and get split in half.
681
01:22:02,790 --> 01:22:04,768
I'm coming.
682
01:22:04,900 --> 01:22:08,240
I know you like it,
you panty-ripper!
683
01:22:13,420 --> 01:22:16,617
It's been an exceptional show.
684
01:22:16,820 --> 01:22:21,815
Baron! Do you remember me?
We met in Paris.
685
01:22:30,100 --> 01:22:35,174
- Hey babe, your place or my place?
- I don't know you! Go away!
686
01:22:35,380 --> 01:22:38,532
- It's all right.
- Are we going to the disco?
687
01:22:38,740 --> 01:22:40,731
- Fuck off!
688
01:22:40,940 --> 01:22:44,012
The gran--- the lady fell down.
689
01:22:44,220 --> 01:22:46,939
Poor thing, she fell.
690
01:22:47,140 --> 01:22:50,656
- Pick her up.
- You'll be fine.
691
01:22:50,860 --> 01:22:54,535
- Thank you, dear.
- Goodbye, officer.
692
01:22:57,340 --> 01:23:02,096
- Et voilà, Le chauffeur!
- Truffle guy is here.
693
01:23:02,300 --> 01:23:05,975
- Let's get on the Rolls.
- Answer the radio.
694
01:23:08,500 --> 01:23:12,459
- Thank you. - Watch you dress.
- Fuck off!
695
01:23:12,660 --> 01:23:16,972
Officer, the door.
"Merci, Le gendarme."
696
01:23:17,180 --> 01:23:19,171
Goodbye.
697
01:23:23,660 --> 01:23:25,651
Cheers! Congrats!
698
01:23:26,540 --> 01:23:32,730
My dear nephews, congratulations
for your brilliant achievement.
699
01:23:32,940 --> 01:23:38,333
Between our existing assets,
and Van Cliff's loot...
700
01:23:38,540 --> 01:23:42,420
... the total profits for the year
will be around 6 billion.
701
01:23:44,300 --> 01:23:48,339
Obviously, three are for me
and one billion each for you.
702
01:23:52,300 --> 01:23:57,090
- It's still a billion per capita!
- Yes, but... I'm sorry, uncle...
703
01:23:57,300 --> 01:24:02,136
When can we start getting...
704
01:24:02,340 --> 01:24:07,335
Immediately, even tomorrow. As soon
as my fence brings me the money.
705
01:24:07,540 --> 01:24:13,377
Go to sleep, everybody. Good night.
Good night, my dear. Good night.
706
01:24:13,580 --> 01:24:17,096
Good night.
Aren't you going to sleep?
707
01:24:17,300 --> 01:24:22,010
I wanted to ask you something,
But I don't know how...
708
01:24:22,220 --> 01:24:26,930
- Don't touch my chair!
- I wanted to ask... Now, can I...
709
01:24:27,140 --> 01:24:32,738
- I don't understand.
- We pulled the heist, right?
710
01:24:32,940 --> 01:24:38,538
- It went well, right? I got married.
- Yes. - But I still need to consummate!
711
01:24:38,740 --> 01:24:44,736
You're right. Go ahead and consummate.
Take the champagne. Good night.
712
01:24:50,940 --> 01:24:54,092
Listen... Is your name really Nero?
713
01:24:54,300 --> 01:24:59,295
- It's my last name. My name is Franco.
- Franco Nero?
714
01:25:05,780 --> 01:25:08,852
Honey? Honey-pie?
715
01:25:09,060 --> 01:25:12,052
Kitty?
Hello, my pickle!
716
01:25:19,740 --> 01:25:21,731
My love?
717
01:25:22,300 --> 01:25:24,291
My dickface... ?
718
01:25:25,140 --> 01:25:29,930
- Peekaboo! - Where's my wife?
- We had a little threesome.
719
01:25:30,140 --> 01:25:32,780
Show me my wife!
720
01:25:32,980 --> 01:25:39,090
- Listen to what Dalmazio has to say.
- We had a great idea.
721
01:25:39,300 --> 01:25:44,249
At the stroke of midnight,
when the uncle...
722
01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:50,456
... and that guy... Nero...
- His full name is Franco Nero.
723
01:25:50,660 --> 01:25:52,497
Franco Nero!
724
01:25:52,578 --> 01:25:56,099
- Who gives a shit!
- He's my idol!
725
01:25:56,220 --> 01:26:00,691
We get into the safe
and we take everything.
726
01:26:00,891 --> 01:26:06,411
- A grand total of... - Six
- Six what? - Six billions!
727
01:26:06,492 --> 01:26:09,769
- Two each.
- Whose idea was it? - Your wife's.
728
01:26:09,980 --> 01:26:14,770
- She told us to do it.
- What a brain! What a genius!
729
01:26:14,980 --> 01:26:20,259
Unlike uncle's: "3 billions to me
and one each to you". Take this!
730
01:26:20,460 --> 01:26:23,816
That's so great! Let's have a toast!
Yahoo!
731
01:26:24,020 --> 01:26:29,015
I propose a toast to the three
richest thieves in Europe.
732
01:26:41,460 --> 01:26:44,452
Who turned on the light?
Turn it off!
733
01:26:45,420 --> 01:26:48,970
Remember about the safe
at midnight.
734
01:26:49,180 --> 01:26:52,172
What midnight?
There's light out!
735
01:26:54,220 --> 01:26:59,215
- It's noon, then.
- Yes. Thursday the 5th.
736
01:27:01,340 --> 01:27:05,732
So we slept 4 days
and 4 nights in a row!
737
01:27:05,940 --> 01:27:10,332
What was in the champagne?
Bitter almonds?
738
01:27:10,540 --> 01:27:14,010
That's why my head hurts!
739
01:27:14,220 --> 01:27:20,296
Anyway, let's not panic. Let's go
get our 50% share from uncle...
740
01:27:26,100 --> 01:27:29,297
Oh my god! The bed is missing!
741
01:27:30,300 --> 01:27:34,692
- It's gone.
- It can't be. No...
742
01:27:34,900 --> 01:27:36,891
Nooo!
743
01:28:00,420 --> 01:28:03,412
Siraghi?
Package for you.
744
01:28:35,020 --> 01:28:41,239
My dear nephews, I bought
this yacht with your savings.
745
01:28:41,320 --> 01:28:44,391
I apologize for my
sudden departure.
746
01:28:44,472 --> 01:28:46,419
- That cuckold!
- No!
747
01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:48,969
You're the cuckold.
748
01:28:49,980 --> 01:28:51,971
Darling?
749
01:28:55,140 --> 01:28:57,609
Come, my love.
750
01:28:58,909 --> 01:29:01,549
Send our friends a kiss.
751
01:29:03,219 --> 01:29:06,849
Don't worry Egisto, she's not your wife.
The wedding was fake...
752
01:29:06,930 --> 01:29:09,729
... the priest was a former convict,
a friend of mine.
753
01:29:10,420 --> 01:29:16,052
- Old friendships come in handy sometimes.
- Fuck!
754
01:29:16,260 --> 01:29:22,097
Anyway, I won't leave you
completely empty-handed...
755
01:29:22,300 --> 01:29:28,319
... I'll tell you the last rule
of a perfect criminal.
756
01:29:28,400 --> 01:29:30,459
Never trust anybody.
757
01:29:30,540 --> 01:29:33,845
Not even, and most of all,
your own uncle.
758
01:29:34,003 --> 01:29:39,396
I'm not even your real uncle,
and I've never been paralyzed.
759
01:29:40,879 --> 01:29:42,870
Farewell, nephews!
760
01:30:05,740 --> 01:30:08,732
[INDISTINCT VOICES]
761
01:30:28,420 --> 01:30:33,813
(TV) Celebrating the new
world champions...
762
01:30:36,220 --> 01:30:39,988
Aliprando, I kind of feel bad
about your nephews.
763
01:30:40,069 --> 01:30:41,739
Why?
764
01:30:41,860 --> 01:30:46,298
Poor devils, when I took them in,
they had nothing.
765
01:30:46,379 --> 01:30:49,815
They could never amount to
anything good anyway.
766
01:30:51,620 --> 01:30:54,817
- What's up?
- Wait.
767
01:30:58,180 --> 01:31:01,377
Isn't that Dalmazio?
768
01:31:01,580 --> 01:31:05,858
Egisto! Amalio! It's them!
769
01:31:06,060 --> 01:31:11,009
(TV) What? they grabbed Maradona,
who fell down with the cup.
770
01:31:11,220 --> 01:31:15,498
- There's a big commotion...
- The cup!
771
01:31:15,700 --> 01:31:18,089
(TV) They're stealing it!
They're thieves!
772
01:31:18,300 --> 01:31:21,292
World champions! Well done!
56452
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