All language subtitles for Sanford and Son S02E11 Sanford and Son and Sister Makes Three.DVDRip.HI.cc.en

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,164 ♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪ 2 00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,400 ♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪ 3 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,537 ♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪ 4 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,539 ♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY... ♪♪ 5 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:17,709 HELLO, SON. WHO ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO BE? BILLY ECKSTINE? 6 00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,779 SAY, WHAT'S THAT ODOR? YOU SMELL LIKE A LEMON. 7 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,218 I KNOW THAT. I JUST GOT THROUGH TAKING ONE OF THEM BUBBLY LEMON BATHS, 8 00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,788 AND I SPRAYED ON SOME OF THAT NEW LEMON SPRAY COLOGNE. 9 00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,070 WHAT'S WITH THIS SUDDEN DESIRE TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A LEMON? 10 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:38,230 WELL, THAT WAY THE LADIES CAN SNIFF ME AND SQUEEZE ME SIMULTANEOUSLY. 11 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,399 EXCUSE ME. 12 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,969 YOU GONNA TELL ME THE REST? LIKE WHY YOU SMELL THE WAY YOU DO... 13 00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,072 AND WHY THIS PLACE IS ALL FLOWERED UP, OR SHOULD I GUESS? 14 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,619 NO, NO, I'LL TELL YOU. SIT DOWN, SON. IT'S A LONG STORY. 15 00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,246 COULD YOU MAKE IT A SHORT ONE? SEE, I GOT A 16 00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,123 DATE, AND I WANT TO RUN UPSTAIRS AND TAKE A BATH. 17 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:57,082 WELL, YOU GOTTA WAIT ANYWAY 'CAUSE I USED ALL THE HOT WATER. SIT DOWN. 18 00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,684 THAT'S JUST GREAT. NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? 19 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,187 WELL, JUST PRETEND THAT YOU'RE IN SWEDEN. 20 00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:06,125 YOU KNOW, IN SWEDEN THEY TAKE COLD BATHS AND BEAT EACH OTHER WITH SWITCHES. 21 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,360 NEVER MIND. WHO'S COMING HERE TONIGHT? 22 00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,862 WELL, I GOT A CALL FROM AN OLD GIRLFRIEND. 23 00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,698 I MEAN, NOT JUST A GIRLFRIEND. SHE COULD'VE BEEN YOUR MOTHER... 24 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,368 IF SHE HADN'T BEEN SO HEADSTRONG AND HAD SUCH A BAD TEMPER. 25 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,990 WELL, HOW COME YOU'RE GOING THROUGH ALL THESE 26 00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:19,416 CHANGES ABOUT HER COMING HERE TONIGHT... 27 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,007 IF SHE WAS SO HEADSTRONG AND HAD SUCH A BAD TEMPER? 28 00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:25,144 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY: "FINE WINE MELLOWS WITH AGE." 29 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,114 AND IF SHE WAS FINE THEN, 30 00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,083 BY NOW SHE MUST BE LIKE IMPORTED MUSCATEL. 31 00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:37,556 RIGHT. WELL, I'M GONNA TAKE A BATH, POP. 32 00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,604 WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. LET ME FINISH TELLING YOU ABOUT HER. 33 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:44,129 SEE, HER NAME IS JUANITA, AND SHE GOT SPANISH BLOOD. UH-HUH. 34 00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,132 AND SHE ALWAYS USED TO HAVE A ROSE BETWEEN HER TEETH. 35 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,502 I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF HARD FOR HER TO EAT THAT WAY, WASN'T IT? 36 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,572 NO, NO. SHE WAS A DANCER. I MEAN, SHE COULD REALLY HOOF. 37 00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:56,741 ♪♪ [ Humming ] 38 00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,279 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SHE WAS THE BEST DANCE PARTNER I EVER HAD. 39 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,214 WE USED TO WIN ALL THE PRIZES. 40 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:05,551 I REMEMBER ONE TIME I PULLED JUANITA THROUGH MY LEGS LIKE THIS, 41 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,853 PULLED HER UP AND THREW HER OVER COUNT BASIE'S BAND. 42 00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:16,228 WE WON FIRST PRIZE THAT NIGHT: TWO TICKETS TO GREEN PASTURES. 43 00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,031 YEAH, I TOOK YOUR MOTHER TO SEE THAT. 44 00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,734 YOU TOOK MOM? HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TAKE JUANITA? 45 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,836 SHE WAS IN TRACTION. 46 00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,489 SO YOUR OLD GIRLFRIEND AND DANCE PARTNER IS COMIN' TO SEE YOU, HUH? 47 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,013 WELL, YOU DON'T NEED ME AROUND. ANYWAY, I GOT A DATE, POP. 48 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:38,717 YEAH, I DON'T NEED YOU. TWO IS COMPANY, AND THREE IS DEFINITELY A CROWD. 49 00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:42,087 MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE OUT SOME OF THEM OLD DANCE STEPS WE USED TO DO. 50 00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,691 SAY, POP, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T TRY TO THROW HER OVER YOUR BACK. 51 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:49,194 'CAUSE AT YOUR AGE, THE FIRST PRIZE FOR THAT IS A TRUSS. 52 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,591 I'M GOING UPSTAIRS TO TAKE A BATH. 53 00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,900 [ Knocking ] THAT'S JUANITA NOW. COME OVER HERE AND SAY HELLO... 54 00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,329 COME SAY HELLO TO JUANITA. OH, MAN. 55 00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,240 FRED SANFORD! STEADY FREDDY! [ Laughs ] 56 00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:05,176 JUANITA, MY OLD DANCIN' PARTNER. SHALL WE? WHY NOT? 57 00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,513 ♪♪ [ Both Humming Tango ] 58 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,861 [ Cheering ] [ Applause ] 59 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,732 OH, FRED, YOU ALWAYS DID LOOK LIKE VALENTINO WHEN YOU DANCED. 60 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,033 YEAH, ME AND THE SHEIK. 61 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,703 SAY, LAMONT, THIS IS JUANITA GRISMOORE. 62 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,273 HOW DO YOU DO? THIS IS MY DAUGHTER ALICE. 63 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,776 - ALICE, THIS IS MY SON LAMONT. - HOW DO YOU DO? 64 00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:44,583 MY GOODNESS! YOU LOOK LIKE A PORTRAIT OF YOUR MOTHER. 65 00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:49,087 BUT YOU DO HAVE YOUR FATHER'S EYES. THOSE DEVILISH EYES. [ Laughs ] 66 00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:52,223 MY MOTHER'S TALKED SO MUCH ABOUT YOU OVER THE YEARS, MR. SANFORD. 67 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,360 - I FEEL AS IF I KNOW YOU. - JUST CALL ME FRED, HONEY. 68 00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,430 OKAY, FRED. AND, LAMONT, YOU CAN CALL ME JUANITA. 69 00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,700 HUH? OH, YEAH, RIGHT. 70 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,714 WELL, EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE NICE AND FRIENDLY. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SIT DOWN? 71 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,716 OH, GOOD. COME, DARLING. 72 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,218 YOU KNOW, FRED, MOTHER STILL HAS THE TROPHY THE TWO OF YOU WON. 73 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,209 SHE TREATS IT LIKE IT WAS AN ACADEMY AWARD. 74 00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:14,212 HEY, I DANCE MYSELF, YOU KNOW. OH, REALLY? 75 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:18,883 YEAH. I CAN DO THE ROBOT, THE GOOD FOOT, THE BOOTY BUMP, THE CRUTCH AND THE HIP. 76 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,387 THAT DON'T SOUND LIKE NO DANCE. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SERIOUS ACCIDENT. 77 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,389 YOU'RE JUST OLD-FASHIONED. 78 00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:27,437 WHY DON'T YOU GO GET THAT STUFF I GOT CHILLIN' IN THE REFRIGERATOR... 79 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,506 AND LET US ALL HAVE A BIT OF THE BUBBLY? 80 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,863 OOH! CHAMPAGNE! 81 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,865 NO, SODA AND RIPPLE. 82 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,239 GO GET IT, SON, WILL YA? 83 00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:44,643 NO, NO, WAIT. MOTHER, I THINK WE'D BETTER GET THAT LIGHT FIXED. 84 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,957 WE'RE GONNA GET STOPPED IF WE DON'T GET THAT LIGHT FIXED. OH, YES. 85 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:51,216 - ONE OF OUR HEADLIGHTS IS OUT. - WELL, YOU BETTER GET IT FIXED, 86 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,219 'CAUSE THEY DEATH ON A NIGGER WITH ONE LIGHT. 87 00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,158 YEAH. IF YOU GOT... 88 00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:03,695 IF YOU GOT ONE LIGHT, YOU BETTER BE ON A MOTORCYCLE. 89 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,942 I'M NOT KIDDING. YOU GO DOWN THERE TO TRAFFIC COURT, 90 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,006 AND YOU SIT AROUND THERE AND YOU SEE SO MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, 91 00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,903 YOU'D THINK YOU'RE AT AN NAACP RALLY. 92 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,173 WELL, WE'D BETTER GET IT FIXED THEN. IS THERE A GARAGE NEARBY? 93 00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,677 WELL, IF LAMONT DIDN'T HAVE A DATE, HE COULD GET IT FIXED IN A MINUTE. 94 00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,680 NO, TH-THAT WAS NOTHING, POP. IT WAS JUST WITH THE GUYS. 95 00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,377 LISTEN, I COULD TAKE YOUR CAR DOWN TO PETE'S 96 00:06:23,401 --> 00:06:24,828 GARAGE AND HAVE IT BACK IN 15 MINUTES. 97 00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,785 I'D BE GLAD TO DO IT. 98 00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,187 OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU. 99 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,223 - WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG? - WHY DON'T YOU, HONEY? 100 00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:35,594 THAT'LL GIVE FRED AND I A CHANCE TO GET REACQUAINTED. 101 00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,336 AND WHILE THEY'RE REMINISCING, MAYBE WE COULD 102 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,908 SPEND THE REST OF THE EVENING TOGETHER... 103 00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:42,367 YOU KNOW, TAKE IN A MOVIE, DO A LITTLE DANCING, HAVE A COUPLE OF BURRITOS. 104 00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:45,437 OH, WOW! THAT REALLY SOUNDS GREAT. 105 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:49,207 YEAH? UH, I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE, DO I? 'CAUSE I LOOK A LITTLE SHABBY. 106 00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,777 OH, NO. I THINK YOU LOOK KINDA SEXY. I DO? 107 00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:56,981 YES, YOU DO. IT'S THAT WILD, RUMPLED LOOK THAT SPELLS S-E-X. 108 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,454 IN MY DAY, THAT WILD, RUMPLED LOOK WOULD SPELL B-U-M. 109 00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,125 WELL, LET'S ANDIAMO. 110 00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:11,596 THAT'S ITALIAN FOR "LET'S SPLIT." OH, YOU SPEAK ITALIAN, HUH? 111 00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,911 WELL, IN MY LINE OF WORK, YOU GOTTA BE FAMILIAR WITH QUITE A FEW LANGUAGES. 112 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,002 YEAH. SO YOU CAN KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE CALLING YOU. 113 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,173 - COME ON. - WHOO! 114 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,375 WELL, JUANITA, 115 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:28,146 WHAT DO YOU SAY I FIX US A LITTLE LIQUID REFRESHMENT? 116 00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,782 OH, I'LL HELP YOU. YEAH. 117 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,951 YOU GOT SOME NICE THINGS HERE, FRED. 118 00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,253 YEAH, I COORDINATE ALL THIS MYSELF. 119 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:38,289 NICE. SIT RIGHT DOWN THERE, HONEY. 120 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,292 THANK YOU. I'LL GET SOME NICE STUFF HERE. 121 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,895 YOU KNOW, JUANITA, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD. 122 00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,997 EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, YOU LOOK GOOD. 123 00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,244 YOU'VE BEEN TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF, AIN'T YA? 124 00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,368 I TRY. AND YOU LOOK WONDERFUL TOO, FRED. 125 00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,072 WELL, I TRY, TOO, MYSELF. HEY, WE'LL DRINK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS. 126 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,374 OH, YES. YES, YES. 127 00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,455 PUT A LITTLE SODA IN THERE? YEAH, A LITTLE SODA. 128 00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,879 ALL RIGHT. MAKE IT "FIZZLY." 129 00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,648 [ Chuckles ] OUI, OUI. 130 00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,695 HEY, JUANITA, DO YOU REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS? 131 00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,931 ♪ HOLD TIGHT, HOLD TIGHT HOLD TIGHT, HOLD TIGHT ♪ 132 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,789 ♪♪ [ Gibberish ] FISH IS MY FAVORITE DISH! 133 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,291 WOW! WHEE! 134 00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,628 YES, YES, FRED, YOU'VE STILL GOT IT. 135 00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,931 YEAH, AND I'M GONNA KEEP IT TILL SOMEBODY COME AND TAKE IT AWAY. 136 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:28,239 I MEAN... A HANDSOME MAN LIKE YOU IS VERY ELIGIBLE. 137 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,409 WHY HASN'T SOME GIRL CAUGHT YOU YET? ISN'T THERE SOMEBODY? 138 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,778 WELL, YES AND NO. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? 139 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,314 WELL, YES, I'M HANDSOME AND ELIGIBLE... 140 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,183 AND NO, SHE AIN'T CAUGHT ME YET. 141 00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,720 I'M FREE AS A BIRD. 142 00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:45,034 AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? HOW DOES YOUR HUSBAND LIKE WASHINGTON, D.C.? 143 00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,593 WHAT'S HIS NAME? GERARD? YES. GERALD... HAS PASSED ON. 144 00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,262 OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT. 145 00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:56,001 YES, GERALD HAS PASSED. I'VE COME HERE TO SETTLE HIS ESTATE. 146 00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,003 ESTATE? MMM. 147 00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,875 I THOUGHT GERALD WAS A JANITOR AT A MENTAL INSTITUTION. 148 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,780 NO! NOW, WHERE DID YOU HEAR A THING LIKE THAT? 149 00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:12,483 GERALD WAS A CONSULTING PSYCHIATRIST, AND A VERY GOOD ONE TOO. 150 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,485 NOW, WHAT HAPPENED... ONE OF HIS PATIENTS, 151 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:17,088 A PYROMANIAC WHO WAS PROGRESSING BEAUTIFULLY, 152 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:20,458 HAD A SLIGHT SETBACK AND SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE. 153 00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:25,864 AND WHEN GERALD TRIED TO SAVE HIM... WELL, LET'S JUST SAY HE DIED A HERO. 154 00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,767 THEN YOU'RE FREE AS A BIRD TOO, AIN'T YOU? 155 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,769 YES, I AM. 156 00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:35,840 UH, AIN'T NOTHIN' LIKE TWO FREE BIRDS, 157 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,944 YOU KNOW, GETTIN' TOGETHER OVER A GLASS OF RIPPLE, IS THERE? 158 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,012 NO, THERE SURE AIN'T. 159 00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,093 LISTEN. I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT GERALD LEFT YOU WELL OFF... 160 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,077 YOU KNOW, WITH THE ESTATE AND ALL. 161 00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,853 YES, QUITE WELL OFF, I MIGHT ADD. 162 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,691 BUT NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE OF A MAN TO HELP YOU RAISE A DAUGHTER. 163 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,137 YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY GOT TO HAVE THAT AROUND. MM-HMM. 164 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,096 HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING? 165 00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,866 I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK, FRED. HE WAS THERE ALL THE TIME. 166 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,902 HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 167 00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,471 I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF TIME, 168 00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,540 AND EVERYTHING WOULD WORK ITSELF OUT RIGHT IN THE END. 169 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:13,211 UH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 170 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,082 I'M TALKIN' ABOUT ALICE. ALICE? WHAT ABOUT ALICE? 171 00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,919 GERALD WENT TO HIS GRAVE KNOWING ALICE WASN'T HIS DAUGHTER. 172 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,422 OH, WELL... WASN'T HIS DAUGHTER? 173 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,025 WELL, WHO... WHOSE DAUGHTER IS SHE? 174 00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,466 YOU... YOU DON'T KNOW, FRED? 175 00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,469 ALICE IS OUR DAUGHTER. 176 00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,943 WHAT? 177 00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,579 DIDN'T... DIDN'T YOU GET A GOOD LOOK AT HER? 178 00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,483 DIDN'T YOU NOTICE THE SAME COLOR AND THE SAME DEVILISH EYES? 179 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:57,088 THE SAME POUTY LOOK AROUND THE MOUTH. FRED, ALICE IS YOUR DAUGHTER. 180 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,590 WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 181 00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,727 FRED, DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE NIGHT OF THE HARVEST MOON BALL? 182 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,963 REMEMBER WHAT? DON'T YOU REMEMBER... 183 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,965 ♪ TUTTI FRUTTI ♪ 184 00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,535 ♪ TUTTI ♪ 185 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,737 ♪ TUTTI FRUTTI ♪ 186 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,506 ♪ TUTTI ♪ 187 00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,543 ♪ MMM, TUTTI FRUTTI ♪ 188 00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,545 ♪ TUTTI ♪♪ 189 00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,548 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. I REMEMBER! I REMEMBER. 190 00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:30,789 HEY, IF ALICE... IF ALICE IS OUR DAUGHTER... 191 00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,324 OH, I THINK I'M HAVIN' A BIG ONE! 192 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:39,064 IF ALICE IS OUR DAUGHTER, THEN LAMONT IS OUT WITH HIS SISTER! 193 00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,542 ♪ WHAT YOU WANT BABY, I GOT IT ♪ 194 00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,779 HEY, POP. 195 00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,416 I SAY GOOD MORNING, POP. MORNING, SON. 196 00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,963 YOU'RE UP AWFULLY EARLY. DIDN'T YOU SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT? 197 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:04,956 NOT A WINK. I GOT A LOT OF STUFF ON MY MIND. I WAS TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ALL NIGHT. 198 00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:09,194 OH, YEAH? WELL, I SLEPT LIKE A BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO? 199 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,364 I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF THE BIGGEST BREAKFAST I EVER ATE AND THEN FIX YOU ONE TOO. 200 00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,867 WHAT DO YOU WANT, POP? IT'S MY TURN THIS MORNING. 201 00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,870 SAY, LAMONT, I DIDN'T HEAR YOU COME IN LAST NIGHT. 202 00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,030 YEAH, WELL, I WAS OUT PRETTY LATE, POP. 203 00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:23,441 ALICE AND I WAS OUT WALKIN' UNTIL REAL LATE. 204 00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:28,279 YEAH, SON, THAT'S IT. YOU AND HER JUST KEEP WALKIN'. JUST WALK ALL THE TIME. 205 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,315 I MEAN... JUST WALK ALL THE TIME. 206 00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:36,721 YOU KNOW WHAT, POP? THERE AIN'T NO SMOG BETWEEN 1:00 AND 3:00 IN THE MORNIN'. 207 00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,290 IT'S THE BEST TIME TO GO WALKIN'. 208 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:43,527 WE HAD TWO BURRITOS AND A FAT BURGER UNDER THE WATTS TOWER. 209 00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,798 SON, SIT DOWN. I WANT... THERE'S SOMETHIN' I WANT TO TELL YOU. 210 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,011 AND THERE'S SOMETHIN' I WANT TO TELL YOU TOO, POP. 211 00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,836 LISTEN. YOU REMEMBER THAT MOVIE THE GODFATHER? 212 00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,839 YEAH. REMEMBER THAT SCENE WHERE THIS DUDE WALKED IN THIS PLACE, 213 00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,286 TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS CHICK AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HER? 214 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,622 THEY CALLED IT GETTIN' HIT BY THE THUNDERBOLT. YEAH. 215 00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,724 THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ALICE. 216 00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,382 LISTEN. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. WHY? 217 00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,952 BECAUSE IN THAT MOVIE THE GODFATHER, ALL THEM PEOPLE WERE ITALIANS. 218 00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,621 ONLY ITALIANS HAVE THUNDERBOLTS. 219 00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:15,326 AH, THAT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY OF SAYING "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT." 220 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:19,164 THAT'S ALL. AND THAT'S WHAT IT WAS WITH ALICE... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. 221 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,133 LISTEN, SON, YOU GOT TO GIVE HER UP. GIVE HER UP? WHY? 222 00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,802 WELL, IT JUST WON'T WORK OUT. BUT WHY? 223 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,572 BECAUSE IF I WAS TO MARRY JUANITA AND YOU WAS TO MARRY ALICE, 224 00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,143 JUANITA WOULD BE MY WIFE, YOUR STEPMOTHER AND MOTHER-IN-LAW... 225 00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,378 AND ALICE WOULD BE MY DAUGHTER AND STEPDAUGHTER. 226 00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:37,115 THAT'S JUST TOO DAMN MUCH FAMILY IN THIS LITTLE HOUSE. 227 00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,787 YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, POP, BUT I THINK YOU'LL GET USED TO THE IDEA. 228 00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,835 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF SOME BREAKFAST. 229 00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,759 [ Phone Ringing ] IS THAT... I'LL GET THAT. 230 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,232 HELLO. WHO IS IT? 231 00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,234 IT'S ALICE. THE THUNDERBOLT. 232 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,471 HI, BEAUTIFUL. YEAH, I HAD A GOOD TIME. 233 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,507 HEY, WHAT'S UP? OH, THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC. 234 00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:07,345 HEY, I'D LOVE TO. OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN. 235 00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,347 BYE, BEAUTIFUL. 236 00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,351 THAT WAS ALICE. 237 00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,115 SHE AND HER MOTHER ARE GONNA COME OVER HERE 238 00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:16,859 AND COOK DINNER AND SERVE IT TO US TONIGHT. 239 00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:19,401 THEY ARE? I JUST MIGHT POP THE QUESTION TONIGHT. 240 00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,659 I MEAN, WHY WAIT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT! 241 00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,595 WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? I LOVE HER! LISTEN. 242 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:28,833 YOU CAN'T PROPOSE TO A GIRL AND SAY, "I LOVE YOU. WOULD YOU BE MY SISTER?" 243 00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,705 LISTEN, POP, IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU AND JUANITA AREN'T MARRIED YET. 244 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,375 AND EVEN IF YOU DO, THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME. 245 00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:41,379 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF SOME BREAKFAST. 246 00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:44,215 A HUNDRED MILLION WOMEN IN THIS COUNTRY, 247 00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,451 AND THE DUMMY HAD TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIS SISTER. 248 00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,890 [ Knocking ] 249 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,604 HELLO. HI. YOU'RE EARLY, AREN'T YOU? 250 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,896 I'M NOT FINISHED DRESSING, AND NEITHER IS POP. 251 00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,943 WELL, YOU JUST TAKE YOUR TIME. ALICE AND I WILL GO GET STARTED. OKAY. 252 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,213 YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH ANYTHING, SHOW YOU WHERE EVERYTHING IS? 253 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,505 NO, WE'LL FIND IT. YOU GO FINISH DRESSING. OKAY. 254 00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,812 HI. HI. 255 00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,815 I HAD A NICE TIME LAST NIGHT. DID YOU? MM-HMM. 256 00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:22,720 AT FIRST I COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP 'CAUSE I HAD THIS WARM FEELING AROUND MY HEART. 257 00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:26,024 DO YOU THINK IT WAS THE BURRITOS? 258 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,193 NO, I KNOW WHAT IT WAS, AND I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT A LITTLE LATER. 259 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,529 BUT RIGHT NOW I GOTTA GO CHANGE. OKAY. 260 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,198 I'LL GO HELP MOTHER FIX DINNER. ALL RIGHT. 261 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,069 UH, ALICE, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE SUGAR FOR THE FIRST COURSE? 262 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,871 OH, LAMONT! [ Laughs ] 263 00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,143 MMM! 264 00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,885 WELL, BABY, START GETTING USED TO SAYING "PAPA FRED." 265 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:58,689 YOU'RE THAT SURE OF HIM? HONEY, ALL I GOT TO DO IS REEL HIM IN. 266 00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,691 [ Both Laughing ] 267 00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,494 I WONDER IF THAT SMOKING JACKET GONNA FIT FRED. 268 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,164 DO YOU THINK HE'LL LIKE IT? OH, I'M SURE HE WILL. 269 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,167 NOW, THAT WAS A GOOD MOVE ON MY PART, YOU KNOW? 270 00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,148 WHY DO YOU SAY THAT, MAMA? BECAUSE WHEN A WOMAN'S TRYING TO HOOK A MAN, 271 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,272 SHE'S GOT TO USE JUST THE RIGHT BAIT. 272 00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,640 NOW, BETWEEN THAT JACKET AND THIS FOOD, WELL... 273 00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:20,311 ALL YOU HAVE TO DO... [ Together ] IS REEL HIM IN. 274 00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:28,052 HI. HI. 275 00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,359 AHHH! 276 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,329 OH. OKAY. 277 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,871 UH, ALICE, THERE'S SOMETHING THAT I WANT TO ASK YOU. 278 00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,540 SEE, I FEEL... ♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪ 279 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,575 NO. THERE'S YOUR FATHER. 280 00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,245 ♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪ 281 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,815 ♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪ 282 00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:01,119 ♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪♪ WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? 283 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,322 WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE? IT'S A SMOKIN' JACKET. 284 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,424 YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SMOKE? 285 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:12,830 OOOH, FRED, LOOK AT YOU! YOU TAKE ME BACK 20 YEARS. 286 00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,333 WHY, THAT JACKET WAS MADE FOR YOU! 287 00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:19,003 I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN THE CENTERFOLD OF EBONY, DON'T I? 288 00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:22,840 YOU REALLY DO. YOU REALLY DO. 289 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,109 WELL, EVERYBODY SIT DOWN. DINNER IS READY. 290 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,390 YEAH, WELL, LET'S EAT. MM-HMM. 291 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:30,248 ALICE, UH, YOU SIT OVER HERE BY ME, HONEY. 292 00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,184 LAMONT, YOU SIT OVER THERE. AND YOU SIT BETWEEN... FRED. FRED! 293 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:36,421 WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER HERE? NO. I ALWAYS SIT HERE. 294 00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,057 I ALWAYS SIT FACING THE DOOR IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR. 295 00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,660 I DON'T SIT WITH MY BACK TO THE DOOR. I'M JUST LIKE JESSE JAMES. 296 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,830 ALL RIGHT. YOU SIT WHEREVER YOU WANNA SIT. 297 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,833 AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE. I'LL GO GET THE FOOD. 298 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,071 SAY, WAIT A MINUTE, HONEY. EVERYTHING SMELLS SO GOOD. 299 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,174 WHAT IS IT? WELL, FIRST WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOUP. 300 00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,809 FROM THE GREENS I TOOK THE TENDEREST LEAVES, 301 00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:02,813 AND WITH CHUNKS OF PORK AND ONIONS SIMMERED IT VERY SLOWLY. 302 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,249 THEN I POURED THE LIQUID INTO TWO WARM BOWLS... 303 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,618 AND LET IT SIT FOR TWO MINUTES BEFORE SERVING. 304 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,421 I CALL IT "SOUP A LA COLLARDS." 305 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,423 OH, POT LIQUOR. 306 00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,361 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. YOU GIVE ME SOME 307 00:18:17,385 --> 00:18:19,697 OF THEM TENDER LEAVES FROM THE "COOLLARDS"... 308 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:24,702 AND A COUPLE OF CHUNKS OF THAT PORK AND LET ME TASTE THEM FELLAS. 309 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,205 [ Juanita ] ANYTHING YOU SAY, FRED. 310 00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,674 ALICE, AREN'T YOU GONNA HELP YOUR MOTHER? 311 00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,722 OH, WHY DON'T YOU COME AND GIVE ME A HAND IN THE KITCHEN? 312 00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,724 IT'LL BE MORE FUN. HUH? 313 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,982 PLEASE? ALL RIGHT. 314 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,362 LOOK HERE, JUANITA, WE AIN'T HAD TOO MUCH CHANCE TO TALK. 315 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,532 DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENIN'? WHAT? 316 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,535 LAMONT KISSED ALICE LAST NIGHT. 317 00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,671 DID YOU HEAR ME? LAMONT KISSED HIS SISTER. 318 00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,341 I KNOW, FRED. ALICE TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT. 319 00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,843 IT WAS JUST A BROTHER/SISTER TYPE KISS. 320 00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,812 NO, NO. NO, NO, NO. LAMONT IS SERIOUS. 321 00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:12,650 HE SAID, "THIS IS IT." YOU DON'T "THIS IS IT" WITH YOUR SISTER. 322 00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,255 DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, FRED. I'LL HANDLE IT. 323 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:21,159 NOW, WILL YOU HELP ME CARRY DINNER IN BEFORE THE PEAS GET COLD? 324 00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,061 YOU CUTE DEVIL. NO. I... 325 00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:44,114 WHOO. WELL, HERE IT IS, ALL NICE AND HOT. 326 00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,218 NOW, I WANT YOU TO TRY THIS SALAD DRESSING I MADE SPECIAL. 327 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,988 THAT'S ENOUGH. TELL ME IF YOU LIKE THAT. 328 00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,957 YOU TOO. A LITTLE BIT THERE. 329 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,529 MMM, THIS FOOD IS GOOD! 330 00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,531 [ Giggles ] 331 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,866 YOU REALLY OUTDID YOURSELF THIS TIME, MAMA. 332 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:06,003 THANK YOU. DO YOU LIKE IT, FRED? 333 00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,372 FRED! HUH? 334 00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,141 DO YOU LIKE IT? OH, YEAH. THIS IS DELICIOUS. 335 00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,212 GOOD. UH, ALICE, CAN YOU COOK LIKE THIS? 336 00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,348 OH, NO, NO. I NEVER LEARNED TO COOK LIKE MOTHER. 337 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,051 IN OTHER WORDS, IF A MAN'S GONNA BE AROUND YOU, 338 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,787 HE'D HAVE TO LEARN HOW TO EAT THEM TV DINNERS, HUH? 339 00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,524 COOKING ISN'T EVERYTHING, FRED. 340 00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:30,127 IF A MAN REALLY LOVED ALICE, HE WOULDN'T CARE IF SHE COULD COOK OR NOT. 341 00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,896 THAT'S RIGHT, POP. YOUNG PEOPLE DON'T CARE NOTHIN' ABOUT FOOD. 342 00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,569 LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT. 343 00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,405 WELL, I GIVE A MARRIAGE LIKE THAT ONE MONTH. [ Lamont ] WHY? 344 00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,408 BECAUSE THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH TIME TO SPEND GETTIN' FED UP... 345 00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:48,412 ON EATIN' TV DINNERS AND EATIN' PORK AND BEANS AND LOVE. 346 00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,228 AND I'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER REASON WHY IT WON'T WORK... FRED! 347 00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:55,386 - WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT SOME OTHER TIME. - I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW. 348 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:59,490 FRED, I SAID WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT SOME OTHER TIME! 349 00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,327 YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN TALK ABOUT... 350 00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,667 YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN TALK ABOUT IN MY OWN HOUSE. 351 00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,703 DON'T YOU POINT YOUR FINGER AT MY NOSE, FRED SANFORD! 352 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,205 I'LL POINT MY FINGER AT YOUR NOSE, 353 00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,175 AND I'LL POINT MY FOOT SOMEWHERE ELSE IN A MINUTE. 354 00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,750 YOU SEE? YOU SEE? THE SAME! NOTHING HAS CHANGED. 355 00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,786 THE SAME CRUDE MANNERS. THE SAME FIGHTIN' FISTS. 356 00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:33,090 AND YOU STILL GOT THE SAME BAD TEMPER AND THE SAME BIG, FAT MOUTH. 357 00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,225 YOU JUNK MAN! YOU BATTLE-AX! 358 00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:38,607 ARE YOU GONNA SIT THERE AND WATCH YOUR FATHER INSULT MY MOTHER? 359 00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,265 ARE YOU GONNA STAND THERE AND LET YOUR MOTHER INSULT MY FATHER? 360 00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,346 WHAT ARE YOU, A SPINELESS CREEP? WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CREEP? 361 00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:47,750 YEAH, WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CREEP? YOU'RE BOTH A PAIR OF CREEPS! 362 00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,841 LISTEN. HOW WOULD BOTH OF YOU LIKE ONE ACROSS THE LIPS? 363 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:55,546 [ Lamont ] YEAH! I GOT TWO HANDS FOR TWO PAIR OF LIPS. 364 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,916 ALICE, COME ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE. 365 00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,363 OUT OF THIS DUMP! THAT'S RIGHT. GET ON OUT OF THIS DUMP. 366 00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:05,989 AND STAY OUT OF THIS DUMP! AND HERE, TAKE THIS FAGGOTY JACKET WITH YOU! 367 00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,229 NOW I KNOW WHERE MY DAUGHTER GET HER QUALITIES FROM. 368 00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:15,533 SHE GET HER GOOD LOOKS FROM ME, AND SHE GET HER BAD TEMPER FROM YOU! 369 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:18,536 ARE YOU KIDDIN'? ARE YOU KIDDIN'! 370 00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:21,071 DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE ALICE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER? 371 00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:24,420 DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT? THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME, WITCH. 372 00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,718 THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU 'CAUSE I HAD SOMETHIN' ELSE IN MY MIND AT THE TIME. 373 00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:35,720 ALICE IS GERALD'S DAUGHTER, 374 00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:39,022 AND SHE LOOKS MORE LIKE HIM DEAD THAN SHE EVER WOULD LOOK LIKE YOU ALIVE! 375 00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:41,024 [ Growls ] 376 00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:44,562 NOW I KNOW WHY THAT PSYCHIATRIST JANITOR GOT BURNED TO DEATH. 377 00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:47,898 HE GOT TOO CLOSE TO YOUR FIERY TONGUE. 378 00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:51,034 IT'S A GOOD THING I'M A CHURCH MEMBER. 379 00:22:57,510 --> 00:23:01,945 DON'T FEEL BAD, SON. YOU FOUND OUT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME. 380 00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:05,516 I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, POP. ONE MINUTE SHE WAS SWEET, AND THE NEXT MINUTE... 381 00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:08,586 YEAH, THE THUNDERBOLT TURNED INTO A VOLCANO. 382 00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:11,789 YOU TOLD ME I SHOULD WAIT. YEAH, I TOLD YOU. 383 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,157 I MEAN, SHE COULDN'T DANCE. SHE COULDN'T COOK. 384 00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,204 WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL ABOUT HER? I DON'T KNOW, POP. 385 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:20,664 AND SHE HAD BAD LEGS. SHE HAD THEM THICK ANKLES. 386 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,701 YEAH. HER ANKLES WERE THICK LIKE STUMPS. YEAH. 387 00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:28,138 AND I BET IN THE SUMMERTIME, THEY EVEN SWELL UP BIGGER, LIKE-LIKE TREE STUMPS. 388 00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:32,175 [ Laughs ] I BET DOGS WOULD'VE FOLLOWED HER ANYWHERE. 389 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:44,388 HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, POP? SHE HAD A BAD HABIT OF SUCKIN' HER TEETH. 390 00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:48,358 SHE ATE TWO FAT BURGERS, AND SHE WAS... [ Sucking Teeth ] 391 00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,673 YOU KNOW, THAT'S TERRIBLE, THEM TEETH SUCKERS. YEAH. 392 00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,042 YOU KNOW, THEY EVEN DO THAT STUFF AT NIGHT. I KNOW. 393 00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:56,967 AND YOU'LL BE SLEEPING. THEY'LL KEEP YOU UP ALL NIGHT. 394 00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:58,969 [ Sucking Teeth ] 395 00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:04,575 AND DID YOU SEE HER EYES? SHE HAD THEM FUNNY-LOOKING EYES. 396 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,844 YEAH, SHE HAD EYES... SHE HAD LIKE BANJO EYES. 397 00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:10,781 SHE HAD THEM EYES LIKE THEY GOT IN THE FUNNY PAPER... MOON MULLINS. 398 00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:16,286 HE SAID, "I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY WIFE, MOON MULLINS." 399 00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:21,191 "HOW DO YOU DO, MISS MOON? WOULD YOU STOP SUCKING YOUR TEETH?" 400 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,695 HEY, POP, IT LOOKS LIKE THE THUNDERBOLT TURNED OUT TO BE A DRIZZLE. 401 00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:27,998 YEAH, AND JUANITA TURNED OUT TO BE A FIZZLE. 402 00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:30,701 YEAH, DRIZZLE AND FIZZLE! AND FIZZLE! 403 00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,211 [ Man ] SANFORD AND SON IS RECORDED ON TAPE... 404 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,413 BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE. 35172

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