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1
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:05,164
♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪
2
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:08,400
♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪
3
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,537
♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪
4
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,539
♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY... ♪♪
5
00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:17,709
HELLO, SON. WHO ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE? BILLY ECKSTINE?
6
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:20,779
SAY, WHAT'S THAT ODOR?
YOU SMELL LIKE A LEMON.
7
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,218
I KNOW THAT. I JUST GOT THROUGH
TAKING ONE OF THEM BUBBLY LEMON BATHS,
8
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,788
AND I SPRAYED ON SOME OF
THAT NEW LEMON SPRAY COLOGNE.
9
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:33,070
WHAT'S WITH THIS SUDDEN DESIRE
TO TURN YOURSELF INTO A LEMON?
10
00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:38,230
WELL, THAT WAY THE LADIES CAN SNIFF
ME AND SQUEEZE ME SIMULTANEOUSLY.
11
00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:40,399
EXCUSE ME.
12
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:43,969
YOU GONNA TELL ME THE REST? LIKE
WHY YOU SMELL THE WAY YOU DO...
13
00:01:44,037 --> 00:01:47,072
AND WHY THIS PLACE IS ALL
FLOWERED UP, OR SHOULD I GUESS?
14
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,619
NO, NO, I'LL TELL YOU. SIT
DOWN, SON. IT'S A LONG STORY.
15
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,246
COULD YOU MAKE IT A
SHORT ONE? SEE, I GOT A
16
00:01:51,270 --> 00:01:53,123
DATE, AND I WANT TO RUN
UPSTAIRS AND TAKE A BATH.
17
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:57,082
WELL, YOU GOTTA WAIT ANYWAY 'CAUSE
I USED ALL THE HOT WATER. SIT DOWN.
18
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,684
THAT'S JUST GREAT. NOW
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?
19
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:02,187
WELL, JUST PRETEND
THAT YOU'RE IN SWEDEN.
20
00:02:02,256 --> 00:02:06,125
YOU KNOW, IN SWEDEN THEY TAKE COLD
BATHS AND BEAT EACH OTHER WITH SWITCHES.
21
00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:08,360
NEVER MIND. WHO'S
COMING HERE TONIGHT?
22
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:10,862
WELL, I GOT A CALL
FROM AN OLD GIRLFRIEND.
23
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:13,698
I MEAN, NOT JUST A GIRLFRIEND.
SHE COULD'VE BEEN YOUR MOTHER...
24
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:16,368
IF SHE HADN'T BEEN SO HEADSTRONG
AND HAD SUCH A BAD TEMPER.
25
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,990
WELL, HOW COME YOU'RE
GOING THROUGH ALL THESE
26
00:02:18,014 --> 00:02:19,416
CHANGES ABOUT HER
COMING HERE TONIGHT...
27
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,007
IF SHE WAS SO HEADSTRONG
AND HAD SUCH A BAD TEMPER?
28
00:02:22,075 --> 00:02:25,144
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
SAY: "FINE WINE MELLOWS WITH AGE."
29
00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,114
AND IF SHE WAS FINE THEN,
30
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:32,083
BY NOW SHE MUST BE
LIKE IMPORTED MUSCATEL.
31
00:02:34,421 --> 00:02:37,556
RIGHT. WELL, I'M GONNA
TAKE A BATH, POP.
32
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:40,604
WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE. LET
ME FINISH TELLING YOU ABOUT HER.
33
00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:44,129
SEE, HER NAME IS JUANITA, AND
SHE GOT SPANISH BLOOD. UH-HUH.
34
00:02:44,198 --> 00:02:47,132
AND SHE ALWAYS USED TO HAVE
A ROSE BETWEEN HER TEETH.
35
00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:50,502
I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF HARD FOR
HER TO EAT THAT WAY, WASN'T IT?
36
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:53,572
NO, NO. SHE WAS A DANCER. I
MEAN, SHE COULD REALLY HOOF.
37
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:56,741
♪♪ [ Humming ]
38
00:02:56,810 --> 00:03:00,279
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? SHE WAS
THE BEST DANCE PARTNER I EVER HAD.
39
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,214
WE USED TO WIN ALL THE PRIZES.
40
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:05,551
I REMEMBER ONE TIME I PULLED
JUANITA THROUGH MY LEGS LIKE THIS,
41
00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:08,853
PULLED HER UP AND THREW
HER OVER COUNT BASIE'S BAND.
42
00:03:11,358 --> 00:03:16,228
WE WON FIRST PRIZE THAT NIGHT:
TWO TICKETS TO GREEN PASTURES.
43
00:03:17,864 --> 00:03:20,031
YEAH, I TOOK YOUR
MOTHER TO SEE THAT.
44
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,734
YOU TOOK MOM? HOW COME
YOU DIDN'T TAKE JUANITA?
45
00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:24,836
SHE WAS IN TRACTION.
46
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,489
SO YOUR OLD GIRLFRIEND AND DANCE
PARTNER IS COMIN' TO SEE YOU, HUH?
47
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,013
WELL, YOU DON'T NEED ME
AROUND. ANYWAY, I GOT A DATE, POP.
48
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:38,717
YEAH, I DON'T NEED YOU. TWO IS
COMPANY, AND THREE IS DEFINITELY A CROWD.
49
00:03:38,785 --> 00:03:42,087
MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE OUT SOME OF
THEM OLD DANCE STEPS WE USED TO DO.
50
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,691
SAY, POP, WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T
TRY TO THROW HER OVER YOUR BACK.
51
00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:49,194
'CAUSE AT YOUR AGE, THE
FIRST PRIZE FOR THAT IS A TRUSS.
52
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,591
I'M GOING UPSTAIRS
TO TAKE A BATH.
53
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:55,900
[ Knocking ] THAT'S JUANITA NOW.
COME OVER HERE AND SAY HELLO...
54
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,329
COME SAY HELLO
TO JUANITA. OH, MAN.
55
00:03:58,372 --> 00:04:01,240
FRED SANFORD!
STEADY FREDDY! [ Laughs ]
56
00:04:01,308 --> 00:04:05,176
JUANITA, MY OLD DANCIN'
PARTNER. SHALL WE? WHY NOT?
57
00:04:05,246 --> 00:04:08,513
♪♪ [ Both Humming Tango ]
58
00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:22,861
[ Cheering ] [ Applause ]
59
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:26,732
OH, FRED, YOU ALWAYS DID LOOK
LIKE VALENTINO WHEN YOU DANCED.
60
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,033
YEAH, ME AND THE SHEIK.
61
00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:31,703
SAY, LAMONT, THIS IS
JUANITA GRISMOORE.
62
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:34,273
HOW DO YOU DO? THIS
IS MY DAUGHTER ALICE.
63
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:37,776
- ALICE, THIS IS MY SON LAMONT.
- HOW DO YOU DO?
64
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:44,583
MY GOODNESS! YOU LOOK LIKE
A PORTRAIT OF YOUR MOTHER.
65
00:04:44,652 --> 00:04:49,087
BUT YOU DO HAVE YOUR FATHER'S
EYES. THOSE DEVILISH EYES. [ Laughs ]
66
00:04:49,156 --> 00:04:52,223
MY MOTHER'S TALKED SO MUCH ABOUT
YOU OVER THE YEARS, MR. SANFORD.
67
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:55,360
- I FEEL AS IF I KNOW YOU.
- JUST CALL ME FRED, HONEY.
68
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:58,430
OKAY, FRED. AND, LAMONT,
YOU CAN CALL ME JUANITA.
69
00:04:58,499 --> 00:05:01,700
HUH? OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
70
00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:04,714
WELL, EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE NICE AND
FRIENDLY. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SIT DOWN?
71
00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:06,716
OH, GOOD. COME, DARLING.
72
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,218
YOU KNOW, FRED, MOTHER STILL
HAS THE TROPHY THE TWO OF YOU WON.
73
00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:11,209
SHE TREATS IT LIKE IT
WAS AN ACADEMY AWARD.
74
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:14,212
HEY, I DANCE MYSELF,
YOU KNOW. OH, REALLY?
75
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:18,883
YEAH. I CAN DO THE ROBOT, THE GOOD FOOT,
THE BOOTY BUMP, THE CRUTCH AND THE HIP.
76
00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:22,387
THAT DON'T SOUND LIKE NO DANCE.
THAT SOUNDS LIKE A SERIOUS ACCIDENT.
77
00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:24,389
YOU'RE JUST OLD-FASHIONED.
78
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:27,437
WHY DON'T YOU GO GET THAT STUFF I
GOT CHILLIN' IN THE REFRIGERATOR...
79
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,506
AND LET US ALL HAVE
A BIT OF THE BUBBLY?
80
00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:31,863
OOH! CHAMPAGNE!
81
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:33,865
NO, SODA AND RIPPLE.
82
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:41,239
GO GET IT, SON, WILL YA?
83
00:05:41,308 --> 00:05:44,643
NO, NO, WAIT. MOTHER, I THINK
WE'D BETTER GET THAT LIGHT FIXED.
84
00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:47,957
WE'RE GONNA GET STOPPED IF WE
DON'T GET THAT LIGHT FIXED. OH, YES.
85
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:51,216
- ONE OF OUR HEADLIGHTS IS OUT.
- WELL, YOU BETTER GET IT FIXED,
86
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,219
'CAUSE THEY DEATH ON
A NIGGER WITH ONE LIGHT.
87
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,158
YEAH. IF YOU GOT...
88
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:03,695
IF YOU GOT ONE LIGHT, YOU
BETTER BE ON A MOTORCYCLE.
89
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,942
I'M NOT KIDDING. YOU GO
DOWN THERE TO TRAFFIC COURT,
90
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:09,006
AND YOU SIT AROUND THERE AND YOU
SEE SO MANY BROTHERS AND SISTERS,
91
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,903
YOU'D THINK YOU'RE
AT AN NAACP RALLY.
92
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:15,173
WELL, WE'D BETTER GET IT FIXED
THEN. IS THERE A GARAGE NEARBY?
93
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:18,677
WELL, IF LAMONT DIDN'T HAVE A DATE,
HE COULD GET IT FIXED IN A MINUTE.
94
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,680
NO, TH-THAT WAS NOTHING,
POP. IT WAS JUST WITH THE GUYS.
95
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,377
LISTEN, I COULD TAKE
YOUR CAR DOWN TO PETE'S
96
00:06:23,401 --> 00:06:24,828
GARAGE AND HAVE
IT BACK IN 15 MINUTES.
97
00:06:24,852 --> 00:06:26,785
I'D BE GLAD TO DO IT.
98
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:29,187
OH, THANK YOU. THAT'S
VERY SWEET OF YOU.
99
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:32,223
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG?
- WHY DON'T YOU, HONEY?
100
00:06:32,292 --> 00:06:35,594
THAT'LL GIVE FRED AND I A
CHANCE TO GET REACQUAINTED.
101
00:06:35,662 --> 00:06:37,336
AND WHILE THEY'RE
REMINISCING, MAYBE WE COULD
102
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:38,908
SPEND THE REST OF
THE EVENING TOGETHER...
103
00:06:38,932 --> 00:06:42,367
YOU KNOW, TAKE IN A MOVIE, DO A LITTLE
DANCING, HAVE A COUPLE OF BURRITOS.
104
00:06:42,436 --> 00:06:45,437
OH, WOW! THAT
REALLY SOUNDS GREAT.
105
00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:49,207
YEAH? UH, I DON'T HAVE TO CHANGE,
DO I? 'CAUSE I LOOK A LITTLE SHABBY.
106
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,777
OH, NO. I THINK YOU
LOOK KINDA SEXY. I DO?
107
00:06:51,845 --> 00:06:56,981
YES, YOU DO. IT'S THAT WILD,
RUMPLED LOOK THAT SPELLS S-E-X.
108
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:02,454
IN MY DAY, THAT WILD, RUMPLED
LOOK WOULD SPELL B-U-M.
109
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:07,125
WELL, LET'S ANDIAMO.
110
00:07:07,193 --> 00:07:11,596
THAT'S ITALIAN FOR "LET'S SPLIT."
OH, YOU SPEAK ITALIAN, HUH?
111
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:14,911
WELL, IN MY LINE OF WORK, YOU GOTTA
BE FAMILIAR WITH QUITE A FEW LANGUAGES.
112
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:18,002
YEAH. SO YOU CAN KNOW
WHAT PEOPLE ARE CALLING YOU.
113
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,173
- COME ON.
- WHOO!
114
00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,375
WELL, JUANITA,
115
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:28,146
WHAT DO YOU SAY I FIX US A
LITTLE LIQUID REFRESHMENT?
116
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:30,782
OH, I'LL HELP YOU. YEAH.
117
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,951
YOU GOT SOME NICE
THINGS HERE, FRED.
118
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:35,253
YEAH, I COORDINATE
ALL THIS MYSELF.
119
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:38,289
NICE. SIT RIGHT
DOWN THERE, HONEY.
120
00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,292
THANK YOU. I'LL GET
SOME NICE STUFF HERE.
121
00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:43,895
YOU KNOW, JUANITA,
YOU SURE LOOK GOOD.
122
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,997
EVEN AFTER ALL THESE
YEARS, YOU LOOK GOOD.
123
00:07:46,066 --> 00:07:48,244
YOU'VE BEEN TAKING CARE
OF YOURSELF, AIN'T YA?
124
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:50,368
I TRY. AND YOU LOOK
WONDERFUL TOO, FRED.
125
00:07:50,437 --> 00:07:54,072
WELL, I TRY, TOO, MYSELF. HEY,
WE'LL DRINK TO THE GOOD OLD DAYS.
126
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,374
OH, YES. YES, YES.
127
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,455
PUT A LITTLE SODA IN
THERE? YEAH, A LITTLE SODA.
128
00:07:58,479 --> 00:08:00,879
ALL RIGHT. MAKE IT "FIZZLY."
129
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:03,648
[ Chuckles ] OUI, OUI.
130
00:08:03,717 --> 00:08:05,695
HEY, JUANITA, DO YOU
REMEMBER THE GOOD OLD DAYS?
131
00:08:05,719 --> 00:08:07,931
♪ HOLD TIGHT, HOLD TIGHT
HOLD TIGHT, HOLD TIGHT ♪
132
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,789
♪♪ [ Gibberish ] FISH
IS MY FAVORITE DISH!
133
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,291
WOW! WHEE!
134
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:16,628
YES, YES, FRED,
YOU'VE STILL GOT IT.
135
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:19,931
YEAH, AND I'M GONNA KEEP IT TILL
SOMEBODY COME AND TAKE IT AWAY.
136
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:28,239
I MEAN... A HANDSOME MAN
LIKE YOU IS VERY ELIGIBLE.
137
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:31,409
WHY HASN'T SOME GIRL CAUGHT
YOU YET? ISN'T THERE SOMEBODY?
138
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,778
WELL, YES AND NO.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
139
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:36,314
WELL, YES, I'M
HANDSOME AND ELIGIBLE...
140
00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:39,183
AND NO, SHE AIN'T CAUGHT ME YET.
141
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:41,720
I'M FREE AS A BIRD.
142
00:08:41,788 --> 00:08:45,034
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU? HOW DOES
YOUR HUSBAND LIKE WASHINGTON, D.C.?
143
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:48,593
WHAT'S HIS NAME? GERARD?
YES. GERALD... HAS PASSED ON.
144
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:51,262
OH, I'M SORRY TO HEAR THAT.
145
00:08:51,331 --> 00:08:56,001
YES, GERALD HAS PASSED. I'VE
COME HERE TO SETTLE HIS ESTATE.
146
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,003
ESTATE? MMM.
147
00:09:00,306 --> 00:09:03,875
I THOUGHT GERALD WAS A
JANITOR AT A MENTAL INSTITUTION.
148
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,780
NO! NOW, WHERE DID YOU
HEAR A THING LIKE THAT?
149
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:12,483
GERALD WAS A CONSULTING
PSYCHIATRIST, AND A VERY GOOD ONE TOO.
150
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,485
NOW, WHAT HAPPENED...
ONE OF HIS PATIENTS,
151
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:17,088
A PYROMANIAC WHO WAS
PROGRESSING BEAUTIFULLY,
152
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:20,458
HAD A SLIGHT SETBACK AND
SET THE HOSPITAL ON FIRE.
153
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:25,864
AND WHEN GERALD TRIED TO SAVE
HIM... WELL, LET'S JUST SAY HE DIED A HERO.
154
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:28,767
THEN YOU'RE FREE AS
A BIRD TOO, AIN'T YOU?
155
00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,769
YES, I AM.
156
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:35,840
UH, AIN'T NOTHIN'
LIKE TWO FREE BIRDS,
157
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:38,944
YOU KNOW, GETTIN' TOGETHER
OVER A GLASS OF RIPPLE, IS THERE?
158
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,012
NO, THERE SURE AIN'T.
159
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,093
LISTEN. I'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT
GERALD LEFT YOU WELL OFF...
160
00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,077
YOU KNOW, WITH
THE ESTATE AND ALL.
161
00:09:46,119 --> 00:09:48,853
YES, QUITE WELL
OFF, I MIGHT ADD.
162
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,691
BUT NOTHING TAKES THE PLACE OF A
MAN TO HELP YOU RAISE A DAUGHTER.
163
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,137
YEAH, YOU DEFINITELY GOT TO
HAVE THAT AROUND. MM-HMM.
164
00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:58,096
HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING?
165
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:01,866
I DIDN'T HAVE TO LOOK, FRED.
HE WAS THERE ALL THE TIME.
166
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,902
HUH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
167
00:10:03,971 --> 00:10:06,471
I ALWAYS KNEW IT WAS
JUST A MATTER OF TIME,
168
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:09,540
AND EVERYTHING WOULD WORK
ITSELF OUT RIGHT IN THE END.
169
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:13,211
UH, WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
170
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:17,082
I'M TALKIN' ABOUT ALICE.
ALICE? WHAT ABOUT ALICE?
171
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:20,919
GERALD WENT TO HIS GRAVE
KNOWING ALICE WASN'T HIS DAUGHTER.
172
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:24,422
OH, WELL... WASN'T HIS DAUGHTER?
173
00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:27,025
WELL, WHO... WHOSE
DAUGHTER IS SHE?
174
00:10:31,564 --> 00:10:35,466
YOU... YOU DON'T KNOW, FRED?
175
00:10:35,535 --> 00:10:38,469
ALICE IS OUR DAUGHTER.
176
00:10:42,408 --> 00:10:44,943
WHAT?
177
00:10:46,212 --> 00:10:48,579
DIDN'T... DIDN'T YOU GET
A GOOD LOOK AT HER?
178
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,483
DIDN'T YOU NOTICE THE SAME
COLOR AND THE SAME DEVILISH EYES?
179
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:57,088
THE SAME POUTY LOOK AROUND THE
MOUTH. FRED, ALICE IS YOUR DAUGHTER.
180
00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,590
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN'
ABOUT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
181
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:02,727
FRED, DON'T YOU REMEMBER THE
NIGHT OF THE HARVEST MOON BALL?
182
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,963
REMEMBER WHAT?
DON'T YOU REMEMBER...
183
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,965
♪ TUTTI FRUTTI ♪
184
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:10,535
♪ TUTTI ♪
185
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,737
♪ TUTTI FRUTTI ♪
186
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:15,506
♪ TUTTI ♪
187
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:18,543
♪ MMM, TUTTI FRUTTI ♪
188
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:20,545
♪ TUTTI ♪♪
189
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,548
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
I REMEMBER! I REMEMBER.
190
00:11:26,053 --> 00:11:30,789
HEY, IF ALICE... IF ALICE
IS OUR DAUGHTER...
191
00:11:30,857 --> 00:11:33,324
OH, I THINK I'M
HAVIN' A BIG ONE!
192
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:39,064
IF ALICE IS OUR DAUGHTER, THEN
LAMONT IS OUT WITH HIS SISTER!
193
00:11:48,141 --> 00:11:51,542
♪ WHAT YOU WANT BABY, I GOT IT ♪
194
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:54,779
HEY, POP.
195
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:58,416
I SAY GOOD MORNING,
POP. MORNING, SON.
196
00:11:58,484 --> 00:12:00,963
YOU'RE UP AWFULLY EARLY.
DIDN'T YOU SLEEP WELL LAST NIGHT?
197
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:04,956
NOT A WINK. I GOT A LOT OF STUFF ON MY
MIND. I WAS TOSSIN' AND TURNIN' ALL NIGHT.
198
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:09,194
OH, YEAH? WELL, I SLEPT LIKE A
BABY. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?
199
00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:13,364
I'M GONNA FIX MYSELF THE BIGGEST BREAKFAST
I EVER ATE AND THEN FIX YOU ONE TOO.
200
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,867
WHAT DO YOU WANT, POP?
IT'S MY TURN THIS MORNING.
201
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,870
SAY, LAMONT, I DIDN'T HEAR
YOU COME IN LAST NIGHT.
202
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:21,030
YEAH, WELL, I WAS
OUT PRETTY LATE, POP.
203
00:12:21,054 --> 00:12:23,441
ALICE AND I WAS OUT
WALKIN' UNTIL REAL LATE.
204
00:12:23,509 --> 00:12:28,279
YEAH, SON, THAT'S IT. YOU AND HER JUST
KEEP WALKIN'. JUST WALK ALL THE TIME.
205
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,315
I MEAN... JUST
WALK ALL THE TIME.
206
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:36,721
YOU KNOW WHAT, POP? THERE AIN'T NO
SMOG BETWEEN 1:00 AND 3:00 IN THE MORNIN'.
207
00:12:36,790 --> 00:12:39,290
IT'S THE BEST TIME
TO GO WALKIN'.
208
00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:43,527
WE HAD TWO BURRITOS AND A FAT
BURGER UNDER THE WATTS TOWER.
209
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:46,798
SON, SIT DOWN. I WANT... THERE'S
SOMETHIN' I WANT TO TELL YOU.
210
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:49,011
AND THERE'S SOMETHIN' I
WANT TO TELL YOU TOO, POP.
211
00:12:49,035 --> 00:12:51,836
LISTEN. YOU REMEMBER
THAT MOVIE THE GODFATHER?
212
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:54,839
YEAH. REMEMBER THAT SCENE
WHERE THIS DUDE WALKED IN THIS PLACE,
213
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,286
TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS CHICK
AND FELL IN LOVE WITH HER?
214
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,622
THEY CALLED IT GETTIN' HIT
BY THE THUNDERBOLT. YEAH.
215
00:12:59,646 --> 00:13:01,724
THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH ALICE.
216
00:13:01,748 --> 00:13:04,382
LISTEN. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. WHY?
217
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:07,952
BECAUSE IN THAT MOVIE THE GODFATHER,
ALL THEM PEOPLE WERE ITALIANS.
218
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,621
ONLY ITALIANS HAVE THUNDERBOLTS.
219
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:15,326
AH, THAT'S JUST ANOTHER WAY
OF SAYING "LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT."
220
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:19,164
THAT'S ALL. AND THAT'S WHAT IT
WAS WITH ALICE... LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT.
221
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,133
LISTEN, SON, YOU GOT TO
GIVE HER UP. GIVE HER UP? WHY?
222
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:24,802
WELL, IT JUST WON'T
WORK OUT. BUT WHY?
223
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:28,572
BECAUSE IF I WAS TO MARRY
JUANITA AND YOU WAS TO MARRY ALICE,
224
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:32,143
JUANITA WOULD BE MY WIFE, YOUR
STEPMOTHER AND MOTHER-IN-LAW...
225
00:13:32,212 --> 00:13:34,378
AND ALICE WOULD BE MY
DAUGHTER AND STEPDAUGHTER.
226
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:37,115
THAT'S JUST TOO DAMN MUCH
FAMILY IN THIS LITTLE HOUSE.
227
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:42,787
YOU'RE WASTING YOUR TIME, POP, BUT
I THINK YOU'LL GET USED TO THE IDEA.
228
00:13:42,856 --> 00:13:45,835
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M GONNA
FIX MYSELF SOME BREAKFAST.
229
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,759
[ Phone Ringing ] IS
THAT... I'LL GET THAT.
230
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,232
HELLO. WHO IS IT?
231
00:13:54,301 --> 00:13:56,234
IT'S ALICE. THE THUNDERBOLT.
232
00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,471
HI, BEAUTIFUL. YEAH,
I HAD A GOOD TIME.
233
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,507
HEY, WHAT'S UP? OH,
THAT SOUNDS TERRIFIC.
234
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:07,345
HEY, I'D LOVE TO.
OKAY. I'LL SEE YOU THEN.
235
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:09,347
BYE, BEAUTIFUL.
236
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,351
THAT WAS ALICE.
237
00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:15,115
SHE AND HER MOTHER ARE
GONNA COME OVER HERE
238
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:16,859
AND COOK DINNER AND
SERVE IT TO US TONIGHT.
239
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:19,401
THEY ARE? I JUST MIGHT
POP THE QUESTION TONIGHT.
240
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:21,659
I MEAN, WHY WAIT?
YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
241
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,595
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN'
ABOUT? I LOVE HER! LISTEN.
242
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:28,833
YOU CAN'T PROPOSE TO A GIRL AND SAY,
"I LOVE YOU. WOULD YOU BE MY SISTER?"
243
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:34,705
LISTEN, POP, IN THE FIRST PLACE,
YOU AND JUANITA AREN'T MARRIED YET.
244
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,375
AND EVEN IF YOU DO,
THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME.
245
00:14:37,443 --> 00:14:41,379
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'M
GONNA FIX MYSELF SOME BREAKFAST.
246
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:44,215
A HUNDRED MILLION
WOMEN IN THIS COUNTRY,
247
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:47,451
AND THE DUMMY HAD TO
FALL IN LOVE WITH HIS SISTER.
248
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,890
[ Knocking ]
249
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,604
HELLO. HI. YOU'RE
EARLY, AREN'T YOU?
250
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,896
I'M NOT FINISHED DRESSING,
AND NEITHER IS POP.
251
00:14:57,964 --> 00:15:00,943
WELL, YOU JUST TAKE YOUR TIME.
ALICE AND I WILL GO GET STARTED. OKAY.
252
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:04,213
YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HELP YOU WITH
ANYTHING, SHOW YOU WHERE EVERYTHING IS?
253
00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:07,505
NO, WE'LL FIND IT. YOU
GO FINISH DRESSING. OKAY.
254
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,812
HI. HI.
255
00:15:14,881 --> 00:15:17,815
I HAD A NICE TIME LAST
NIGHT. DID YOU? MM-HMM.
256
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:22,720
AT FIRST I COULDN'T GET TO SLEEP 'CAUSE I
HAD THIS WARM FEELING AROUND MY HEART.
257
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:26,024
DO YOU THINK IT
WAS THE BURRITOS?
258
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:29,193
NO, I KNOW WHAT IT WAS, AND I WANT
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT A LITTLE LATER.
259
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:31,529
BUT RIGHT NOW I
GOTTA GO CHANGE. OKAY.
260
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:34,198
I'LL GO HELP MOTHER
FIX DINNER. ALL RIGHT.
261
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,069
UH, ALICE, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE
SUGAR FOR THE FIRST COURSE?
262
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:40,871
OH, LAMONT! [ Laughs ]
263
00:15:43,109 --> 00:15:45,143
MMM!
264
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:54,885
WELL, BABY, START GETTING
USED TO SAYING "PAPA FRED."
265
00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:58,689
YOU'RE THAT SURE OF HIM? HONEY,
ALL I GOT TO DO IS REEL HIM IN.
266
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,691
[ Both Laughing ]
267
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:03,494
I WONDER IF THAT SMOKING
JACKET GONNA FIT FRED.
268
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:06,164
DO YOU THINK HE'LL LIKE
IT? OH, I'M SURE HE WILL.
269
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:09,167
NOW, THAT WAS A GOOD
MOVE ON MY PART, YOU KNOW?
270
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,148
WHY DO YOU SAY THAT, MAMA? BECAUSE
WHEN A WOMAN'S TRYING TO HOOK A MAN,
271
00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:14,272
SHE'S GOT TO USE
JUST THE RIGHT BAIT.
272
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,640
NOW, BETWEEN THAT
JACKET AND THIS FOOD, WELL...
273
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:20,311
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO... [
Together ] IS REEL HIM IN.
274
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:28,052
HI. HI.
275
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:34,359
AHHH!
276
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,329
OH. OKAY.
277
00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:46,871
UH, ALICE, THERE'S SOMETHING
THAT I WANT TO ASK YOU.
278
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:49,540
SEE, I FEEL... ♪
JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪
279
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:51,575
NO. THERE'S YOUR FATHER.
280
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,245
♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪
281
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:57,815
♪ JELLY, JELLY, JELLY ♪
282
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:01,119
♪ JELLY STAYS ON MY MIND ♪♪
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
283
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:04,322
WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
IT'S A SMOKIN' JACKET.
284
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,424
YOU GOT SOMETHIN' TO SMOKE?
285
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:12,830
OOOH, FRED, LOOK AT YOU!
YOU TAKE ME BACK 20 YEARS.
286
00:17:12,899 --> 00:17:15,333
WHY, THAT JACKET
WAS MADE FOR YOU!
287
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:19,003
I LOOK GOOD ENOUGH TO BE IN
THE CENTERFOLD OF EBONY, DON'T I?
288
00:17:19,072 --> 00:17:22,840
YOU REALLY DO. YOU REALLY DO.
289
00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:25,109
WELL, EVERYBODY SIT
DOWN. DINNER IS READY.
290
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,390
YEAH, WELL, LET'S EAT. MM-HMM.
291
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:30,248
ALICE, UH, YOU SIT
OVER HERE BY ME, HONEY.
292
00:17:30,316 --> 00:17:33,184
LAMONT, YOU SIT OVER THERE.
AND YOU SIT BETWEEN... FRED. FRED!
293
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:36,421
WHY DON'T YOU SIT OVER
HERE? NO. I ALWAYS SIT HERE.
294
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,057
I ALWAYS SIT FACING THE
DOOR IN MY FAVORITE CHAIR.
295
00:17:39,125 --> 00:17:42,660
I DON'T SIT WITH MY BACK TO THE
DOOR. I'M JUST LIKE JESSE JAMES.
296
00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:46,830
ALL RIGHT. YOU SIT
WHEREVER YOU WANNA SIT.
297
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:49,833
AFTER ALL, YOU'RE THE MAN OF
THE HOUSE. I'LL GO GET THE FOOD.
298
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:53,071
SAY, WAIT A MINUTE, HONEY.
EVERYTHING SMELLS SO GOOD.
299
00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:56,174
WHAT IS IT? WELL, FIRST
WE'RE GONNA HAVE SOUP.
300
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,809
FROM THE GREENS I TOOK
THE TENDEREST LEAVES,
301
00:17:58,878 --> 00:18:02,813
AND WITH CHUNKS OF PORK AND
ONIONS SIMMERED IT VERY SLOWLY.
302
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,249
THEN I POURED THE LIQUID
INTO TWO WARM BOWLS...
303
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,618
AND LET IT SIT FOR TWO
MINUTES BEFORE SERVING.
304
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:10,421
I CALL IT "SOUP A LA COLLARDS."
305
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,423
OH, POT LIQUOR.
306
00:18:15,228 --> 00:18:17,361
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO
DO. YOU GIVE ME SOME
307
00:18:17,385 --> 00:18:19,697
OF THEM TENDER LEAVES
FROM THE "COOLLARDS"...
308
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:24,702
AND A COUPLE OF CHUNKS OF THAT
PORK AND LET ME TASTE THEM FELLAS.
309
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,205
[ Juanita ] ANYTHING
YOU SAY, FRED.
310
00:18:27,273 --> 00:18:30,674
ALICE, AREN'T YOU GONNA
HELP YOUR MOTHER?
311
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,722
OH, WHY DON'T YOU COME AND
GIVE ME A HAND IN THE KITCHEN?
312
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:35,724
IT'LL BE MORE FUN. HUH?
313
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,982
PLEASE? ALL RIGHT.
314
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,362
LOOK HERE, JUANITA, WE AIN'T
HAD TOO MUCH CHANCE TO TALK.
315
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,532
DO YOU KNOW WHAT'S
HAPPENIN'? WHAT?
316
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,535
LAMONT KISSED ALICE LAST NIGHT.
317
00:18:57,604 --> 00:19:00,671
DID YOU HEAR ME?
LAMONT KISSED HIS SISTER.
318
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,341
I KNOW, FRED. ALICE
TOLD ME ALL ABOUT IT.
319
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,843
IT WAS JUST A
BROTHER/SISTER TYPE KISS.
320
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:08,812
NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.
LAMONT IS SERIOUS.
321
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:12,650
HE SAID, "THIS IS IT." YOU DON'T
"THIS IS IT" WITH YOUR SISTER.
322
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:17,255
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
IT, FRED. I'LL HANDLE IT.
323
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:21,159
NOW, WILL YOU HELP ME CARRY
DINNER IN BEFORE THE PEAS GET COLD?
324
00:19:21,227 --> 00:19:24,061
YOU CUTE DEVIL. NO. I...
325
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:44,114
WHOO. WELL, HERE IT
IS, ALL NICE AND HOT.
326
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:47,218
NOW, I WANT YOU TO TRY THIS
SALAD DRESSING I MADE SPECIAL.
327
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:50,988
THAT'S ENOUGH. TELL
ME IF YOU LIKE THAT.
328
00:19:51,057 --> 00:19:53,957
YOU TOO. A LITTLE BIT THERE.
329
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:58,529
MMM, THIS FOOD IS GOOD!
330
00:19:58,598 --> 00:20:00,531
[ Giggles ]
331
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,866
YOU REALLY OUTDID
YOURSELF THIS TIME, MAMA.
332
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:06,003
THANK YOU. DO YOU LIKE IT, FRED?
333
00:20:06,072 --> 00:20:08,372
FRED! HUH?
334
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:11,141
DO YOU LIKE IT? OH,
YEAH. THIS IS DELICIOUS.
335
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,212
GOOD. UH, ALICE, CAN
YOU COOK LIKE THIS?
336
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:17,348
OH, NO, NO. I NEVER LEARNED
TO COOK LIKE MOTHER.
337
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:21,051
IN OTHER WORDS, IF A
MAN'S GONNA BE AROUND YOU,
338
00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:23,787
HE'D HAVE TO LEARN HOW
TO EAT THEM TV DINNERS, HUH?
339
00:20:23,856 --> 00:20:26,524
COOKING ISN'T EVERYTHING, FRED.
340
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:30,127
IF A MAN REALLY LOVED ALICE, HE
WOULDN'T CARE IF SHE COULD COOK OR NOT.
341
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,896
THAT'S RIGHT, POP. YOUNG PEOPLE
DON'T CARE NOTHIN' ABOUT FOOD.
342
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,569
LOVE IS MORE IMPORTANT.
343
00:20:38,638 --> 00:20:41,405
WELL, I GIVE A MARRIAGE LIKE
THAT ONE MONTH. [ Lamont ] WHY?
344
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,408
BECAUSE THAT'S ABOUT ENOUGH
TIME TO SPEND GETTIN' FED UP...
345
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:48,412
ON EATIN' TV DINNERS AND
EATIN' PORK AND BEANS AND LOVE.
346
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:52,228
AND I'LL TELL YOU ANOTHER
REASON WHY IT WON'T WORK... FRED!
347
00:20:52,252 --> 00:20:55,386
- WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT
SOME OTHER TIME.
- I WANNA TALK ABOUT IT NOW.
348
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:59,490
FRED, I SAID WE'LL TALK
ABOUT THAT SOME OTHER TIME!
349
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:03,327
YOU DON'T TELL ME
WHAT I CAN TALK ABOUT...
350
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:09,667
YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT I CAN
TALK ABOUT IN MY OWN HOUSE.
351
00:21:09,736 --> 00:21:12,703
DON'T YOU POINT YOUR FINGER
AT MY NOSE, FRED SANFORD!
352
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,205
I'LL POINT MY FINGER
AT YOUR NOSE,
353
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,175
AND I'LL POINT MY FOOT
SOMEWHERE ELSE IN A MINUTE.
354
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,750
YOU SEE? YOU SEE? THE
SAME! NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
355
00:21:25,818 --> 00:21:28,786
THE SAME CRUDE MANNERS.
THE SAME FIGHTIN' FISTS.
356
00:21:28,854 --> 00:21:33,090
AND YOU STILL GOT THE SAME BAD
TEMPER AND THE SAME BIG, FAT MOUTH.
357
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:35,225
YOU JUNK MAN! YOU BATTLE-AX!
358
00:21:35,295 --> 00:21:38,607
ARE YOU GONNA SIT THERE AND
WATCH YOUR FATHER INSULT MY MOTHER?
359
00:21:38,631 --> 00:21:41,265
ARE YOU GONNA STAND THERE AND
LET YOUR MOTHER INSULT MY FATHER?
360
00:21:41,334 --> 00:21:44,346
WHAT ARE YOU, A SPINELESS CREEP?
WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CREEP?
361
00:21:44,370 --> 00:21:47,750
YEAH, WHO ARE YOU CALLING A
CREEP? YOU'RE BOTH A PAIR OF CREEPS!
362
00:21:47,774 --> 00:21:50,841
LISTEN. HOW WOULD BOTH OF
YOU LIKE ONE ACROSS THE LIPS?
363
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:55,546
[ Lamont ] YEAH! I GOT TWO
HANDS FOR TWO PAIR OF LIPS.
364
00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:58,916
ALICE, COME ON. LET'S GET
OUT OF HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE.
365
00:21:58,984 --> 00:22:01,363
OUT OF THIS DUMP! THAT'S
RIGHT. GET ON OUT OF THIS DUMP.
366
00:22:01,387 --> 00:22:05,989
AND STAY OUT OF THIS DUMP! AND HERE,
TAKE THIS FAGGOTY JACKET WITH YOU!
367
00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,229
NOW I KNOW WHERE MY
DAUGHTER GET HER QUALITIES FROM.
368
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:15,533
SHE GET HER GOOD LOOKS FROM ME,
AND SHE GET HER BAD TEMPER FROM YOU!
369
00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:18,536
ARE YOU KIDDIN'?
ARE YOU KIDDIN'!
370
00:22:18,604 --> 00:22:21,071
DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE
ALICE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER?
371
00:22:21,140 --> 00:22:24,420
DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT?
THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME, WITCH.
372
00:22:30,550 --> 00:22:33,718
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD YOU 'CAUSE I HAD
SOMETHIN' ELSE IN MY MIND AT THE TIME.
373
00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:35,720
ALICE IS GERALD'S DAUGHTER,
374
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:39,022
AND SHE LOOKS MORE LIKE HIM DEAD
THAN SHE EVER WOULD LOOK LIKE YOU ALIVE!
375
00:22:39,091 --> 00:22:41,024
[ Growls ]
376
00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:44,562
NOW I KNOW WHY THAT PSYCHIATRIST
JANITOR GOT BURNED TO DEATH.
377
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:47,898
HE GOT TOO CLOSE
TO YOUR FIERY TONGUE.
378
00:22:47,967 --> 00:22:51,034
IT'S A GOOD THING
I'M A CHURCH MEMBER.
379
00:22:57,510 --> 00:23:01,945
DON'T FEEL BAD, SON. YOU FOUND
OUT JUST IN THE NICK OF TIME.
380
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:05,516
I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, POP. ONE MINUTE
SHE WAS SWEET, AND THE NEXT MINUTE...
381
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:08,586
YEAH, THE THUNDERBOLT
TURNED INTO A VOLCANO.
382
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:11,789
YOU TOLD ME I SHOULD
WAIT. YEAH, I TOLD YOU.
383
00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,157
I MEAN, SHE COULDN'T
DANCE. SHE COULDN'T COOK.
384
00:23:14,226 --> 00:23:16,204
WHAT WAS SO SPECIAL
ABOUT HER? I DON'T KNOW, POP.
385
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:20,664
AND SHE HAD BAD LEGS.
SHE HAD THEM THICK ANKLES.
386
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,701
YEAH. HER ANKLES WERE
THICK LIKE STUMPS. YEAH.
387
00:23:23,770 --> 00:23:28,138
AND I BET IN THE SUMMERTIME, THEY EVEN
SWELL UP BIGGER, LIKE-LIKE TREE STUMPS.
388
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:32,175
[ Laughs ] I BET DOGS WOULD'VE
FOLLOWED HER ANYWHERE.
389
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:44,388
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT, POP? SHE
HAD A BAD HABIT OF SUCKIN' HER TEETH.
390
00:23:44,457 --> 00:23:48,358
SHE ATE TWO FAT BURGERS,
AND SHE WAS... [ Sucking Teeth ]
391
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:51,673
YOU KNOW, THAT'S TERRIBLE,
THEM TEETH SUCKERS. YEAH.
392
00:23:51,697 --> 00:23:54,042
YOU KNOW, THEY EVEN DO
THAT STUFF AT NIGHT. I KNOW.
393
00:23:54,066 --> 00:23:56,967
AND YOU'LL BE SLEEPING.
THEY'LL KEEP YOU UP ALL NIGHT.
394
00:23:57,036 --> 00:23:58,969
[ Sucking Teeth ]
395
00:24:00,740 --> 00:24:04,575
AND DID YOU SEE HER EYES? SHE
HAD THEM FUNNY-LOOKING EYES.
396
00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,844
YEAH, SHE HAD EYES...
SHE HAD LIKE BANJO EYES.
397
00:24:06,913 --> 00:24:10,781
SHE HAD THEM EYES LIKE THEY GOT
IN THE FUNNY PAPER... MOON MULLINS.
398
00:24:12,585 --> 00:24:16,286
HE SAID, "I'D LIKE YOU TO
MEET MY WIFE, MOON MULLINS."
399
00:24:16,355 --> 00:24:21,191
"HOW DO YOU DO, MISS MOON? WOULD
YOU STOP SUCKING YOUR TEETH?"
400
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,695
HEY, POP, IT LOOKS LIKE THE
THUNDERBOLT TURNED OUT TO BE A DRIZZLE.
401
00:24:24,764 --> 00:24:27,998
YEAH, AND JUANITA
TURNED OUT TO BE A FIZZLE.
402
00:24:28,067 --> 00:24:30,701
YEAH, DRIZZLE AND
FIZZLE! AND FIZZLE!
403
00:24:38,945 --> 00:24:41,211
[ Man ] SANFORD AND SON
IS RECORDED ON TAPE...
404
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,413
BEFORE A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.
35172
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