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1
00:00:55,688 --> 00:00:58,418
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
if you will just follow me, please.
2
00:00:58,491 --> 00:01:00,459
Watch your step
on that cable.
3
00:01:00,527 --> 00:01:02,392
Follow the center red line.
4
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,924
Try to stay together.
5
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,828
Gather round me, please.
6
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:22,748
This is the studio where we shoot
The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson.
7
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:26,980
Did you hear that? This is where they
shoot The Tonight Show. I like that.
8
00:01:27,053 --> 00:01:31,615
I like where that fella says,
"Here's Johnny!"
9
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,993
What are you looking at?
That's what he says every night.
10
00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:41,432
Ed McMahon says,
"Here's Johnny!"
11
00:01:41,501 --> 00:01:45,164
Would you stop embarrassing me?
I can't take you no place.
12
00:01:45,238 --> 00:01:47,672
I'll tell you where you can take me.
You can take me home.
13
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:50,504
You're the one that's been bugging me
for the last month...
14
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,602
to take you on a tour
of a television station.
15
00:01:52,679 --> 00:01:54,977
And you spoiling it for me.
What am I doing?
16
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,982
You're talking too much
and embarrassing me.
17
00:01:57,050 --> 00:01:58,984
That's what you're doing,
and I want you to quit it.
18
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:00,986
- What I said aboutJohnny Carson?
- That's right.
19
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,717
Well, that's what Ed McMahon says
every night on The Tonight Show...
20
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,386
"Here's Johnny!"
21
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,292
Would you stop it?
22
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:13,423
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
if you will follow me, please...
23
00:02:13,500 --> 00:02:16,196
I will take you out
to the stars' parking lot.
24
00:02:16,269 --> 00:02:18,897
- Oh, good. All right.
- Did you hear that?
25
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:23,602
The stars' parking lot. I bet
that's where the stars park their cars.
26
00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:27,271
That's terrific, Pop. I guess
you figured that out all by yourself.
27
00:02:27,347 --> 00:02:31,249
If you had your own television
show, your announcer would say...
28
00:02:31,317 --> 00:02:35,117
"Here's Dummy!"
29
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:44,491
Please watch your step. We are
approaching the stars' parking lot.
30
00:02:44,564 --> 00:02:46,498
Come all the way
down here, please.
31
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:53,070
Now over there
in the first space...
32
00:02:53,139 --> 00:02:56,006
is where Flip Wilson
parks his car.
33
00:02:56,075 --> 00:02:59,511
Flip Wilson? Flip Wilson
parks his car right here?
34
00:02:59,579 --> 00:03:01,513
Yes, sir.
35
00:03:01,581 --> 00:03:03,742
That must be
Flip Wilson's oil.
36
00:03:10,823 --> 00:03:12,848
What are you doing?
37
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,827
I'm getting a little souvenir so I can
show the fellas in the neighborhood.
38
00:03:15,895 --> 00:03:19,490
I'll show 'em this handkerchief and say,
"This is Flip Wilson's oil. "
39
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:25,498
Would you get back over here?
I'm sorry about the interruption.
40
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:31,173
And the space over here
is whereJohnny Carson parks his car.
41
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:35,704
"Here's Johnny's car!"
42
00:03:35,782 --> 00:03:37,716
Why don't you knock it off?
43
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,344
The car over here belongs to
one of the guests...
44
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,617
appearing on Johnny's show
tonight... Lena Horne.
45
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:47,148
Lena Horne!
Wait a minute! Lena Horne!
46
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,819
- Did you say Lena Horne?
- That's right.
47
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:50,863
Lena Horne's somewhere
in this building right now?
48
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,864
That's correct, sir.
And now, ladies and gentlemen...
49
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:56,231
Wait a minute. Look. The Lena Horne?
I mean, the real Lena Horne?
50
00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:58,361
Yes, sir, that's the one.
51
00:03:58,438 --> 00:04:01,202
And now, folks, if you'll
just follow me, please...
52
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:04,732
I will show you
the NBC Commissary.
53
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:12,814
Did you hear that? Do you know
who's in this building now? The Horne.
54
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:15,911
I don't wanna talk to you,
and I don't wanna be around you no more.
55
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:19,720
You've embarrassed me
for the last time today.
56
00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:43,746
That's it. That's her name,
and that's her door.
57
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,015
Five minutes, Miss Horne.
58
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,267
Miss Horne?
59
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:07,804
Anyone here?
60
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:22,210
Lena's mirror.
61
00:05:24,223 --> 00:05:27,386
Last time Lena Horne
looked in this mirror...
62
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,451
her face was right there
where mine is now.
63
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,268
Lena's negligee.
64
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:43,566
Lena's body was in there.
65
00:05:48,381 --> 00:05:51,942
Lena's brush
and Lena's powder puff.
66
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:07,227
What are you doing
in my dressing room?
67
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:11,134
It's her! It's you!
68
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,398
Oh!
69
00:06:14,507 --> 00:06:17,738
Oh, it's the big one!
You hear that, Elizabeth?
70
00:06:17,810 --> 00:06:19,801
I'm coming
to join ya, honey...
71
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,373
with Lena's puff in my hand.
72
00:06:27,286 --> 00:06:29,345
What is the matter with you?
73
00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:31,822
Hey, wait a minute.
Drink some water.
74
00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,757
I didn't mean to startle you, but what
are you doing in my dressing room?
75
00:06:36,829 --> 00:06:38,922
Right now
I'm having a heart attack.
76
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:43,264
- Shall I call a doctor?
- No. It'll go away, then I'll leave.
77
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,531
But what...
Why are you in here?
78
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,869
Do you work here?
Are you with NBC?
79
00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:52,343
- Yeah, I'm with NBC.
- Well, what do you do?
80
00:06:54,313 --> 00:06:55,871
I'm an announcer.
81
00:06:57,517 --> 00:07:00,816
- You what? You're an announcer?
- You don't believe me?
82
00:07:00,887 --> 00:07:06,291
No. I don't mean to laugh at you,
but I don't see you as an announcer.
83
00:07:06,359 --> 00:07:10,125
I'm right in the middle of a rehearsal
for a show, so I must get back.
84
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:14,656
Well, then I'll tell you the truth.
See, Miss Horne, I'm a fan of yours.
85
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:18,898
- I mean, a real big fan.
- Well, thank you. Thank you very much.
86
00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:23,533
I saw your movie
Stormy Weather 38 times.
87
00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:25,702
You're joking.
88
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:29,077
You mean to tell me you paid
to see Stormy Weather 38 times?
89
00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:32,811
No, I only paid once. I went in on
a Saturday and came out on a Wednesday.
90
00:07:42,428 --> 00:07:44,521
But see, that's not
the real reason I came.
91
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:48,624
The real reason I came is because I
promised my son I would try to see you.
92
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,965
You came here
for your son?
93
00:07:51,037 --> 00:07:53,699
Well, I don't quite understand you.
What does that mean?
94
00:07:53,773 --> 00:07:56,333
Well, you don't wanna hear.
95
00:07:56,409 --> 00:07:59,606
Well, all right.
If you don't wanna talk about it.
96
00:07:59,679 --> 00:08:02,546
But if you wanna hear it,
I'll tell you.
97
00:08:02,615 --> 00:08:05,778
- All right.
- You sure you wanna hear about this?
98
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:08,787
- Really, I am in a big hurry.
- Okay, then I'll tell you.
99
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:13,155
See, my son is a big fan
of yours too.
100
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:17,822
And his mother used to sing
"Stormy Weather" when he was a baby.
101
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:21,833
Don't know whythere's no sun up in the sky
102
00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:24,495
- I remember the song.
- Do you?
103
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:29,371
"Stormy Weather. " Now the only time
he hears her singing is in his dreams...
104
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:32,673
because she passed away.
105
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,339
Oh, I am sorry.
106
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:38,178
But why didn't you bring him
with you to see me?
107
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:41,652
Well, ever since...
ever since that happened...
108
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,780
little Lamont
hasn't been the same.
109
00:08:45,458 --> 00:08:47,392
Well, what's wrong with him?
110
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:50,395
What's wrong with him?
Well...
111
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:54,422
what's wrong is...
I don't know where to start.
112
00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:56,365
Doesn't he go to school?
113
00:08:56,435 --> 00:08:59,427
Not anymore.
He's a drop-in.
114
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,438
You mean
he's a dropout.
115
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:06,308
No, a drop-in. He dropped in
a few times and just quit.
116
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:11,209
Well, tell me, why is he
so interested in me?
117
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:15,084
Well, like I said, his mother
used to sing "Stormy Weather" to him...
118
00:09:15,154 --> 00:09:19,090
and the only other person who could sing
"Stormy Weather" like his mother is you.
119
00:09:19,158 --> 00:09:22,355
So I guess he sort of looks on you
like a substitute mother.
120
00:09:22,428 --> 00:09:25,363
- Me? Oh.
- Yeah.
121
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:27,831
This morning,
you know, when he woke up...
122
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:30,562
he looked up at me
with those big brown eyes...
123
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:34,538
and he said, "Daddy, you gonna
see Lena Horne today?"
124
00:09:34,607 --> 00:09:36,507
He said that so cute.
125
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:41,240
He said, "If you see her,
would you tell her I love her?"
126
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,544
Oh.
127
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:58,589
What a shame that you couldn't
have brought him here with you.
128
00:09:58,664 --> 00:10:01,224
Well, the reason I can't...
129
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,791
- Can't you bring him here with you?
- No, he's...
130
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,501
I can't explain it.
131
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:10,406
- He's not lame, is he?
- Lame?
132
00:10:10,476 --> 00:10:12,876
Yeah, that's
what he is, lame.
133
00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:18,874
Oh, I am sorry. I'm so...
Do you think he'd like my picture?
134
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,885
Oh, that'd be so nice.
135
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,888
Here's one already signed.
136
00:10:23,956 --> 00:10:27,517
Oh, this is really nice.
It's gonna really help.
137
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:29,754
See, in the morning
when little Lamont wakes up...
138
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,491
I can hold this picture
on the other side of the room...
139
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,499
and he can crawl
out the bed to it.
140
00:10:36,435 --> 00:10:40,701
- I do have to get back to rehearsal.
- I'm leaving.
141
00:10:40,773 --> 00:10:44,004
And thank you very much
for coming by, Mister...
142
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:47,842
Sanford.
That's S-A-N-F-O-R-D, period.
143
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,211
- Mr. Sanford. Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
144
00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:52,546
- Thank you so much.
- Listen.
145
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,779
Tell little Lamont
I said hello.
146
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:58,312
Yeah, and there's one other thing
I promised him that I would ask you.
147
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,621
- Yeah?
- I couldn't.
148
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,718
Oh, but what is it?
149
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:06,128
- I can't.
- Well, all right. Good-bye now.
150
00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:08,962
Yes, I can.
151
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:13,600
You see, this morning,
little Lamont...
152
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:20,375
sat up in the bed, he said, "Daddy,
can you bring Lena Horne to see me?"
153
00:11:20,446 --> 00:11:25,850
Oh, that's impossible.
I just can't do it. You understand that.
154
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:29,513
I understand. Big star like you
got a lot more important things to do...
155
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:33,888
than visit little lame boys.
156
00:11:33,959 --> 00:11:36,018
Mr. Sanford,
that's not what it is.
157
00:11:36,095 --> 00:11:38,586
Well, look. First of all
I've got to do this show.
158
00:11:38,664 --> 00:11:42,691
Then, I'm going to do a benefit for
Operation Headstart up in San Francisco.
159
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,464
So that means I've got to
get right to the airport immediately.
160
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,733
Airport? Well, my place
is right out near the airport.
161
00:11:47,807 --> 00:11:52,767
In fact, we so close, when planes fly
over, we can see what movie's playing.
162
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:57,113
I'm sorry.
I can't manage it.
163
00:11:57,183 --> 00:11:59,447
As it is, I'm going to be
in a terrible hurry.
164
00:11:59,518 --> 00:12:02,646
I promised little Lamont that
I would give you the message...
165
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:05,623
so I'm giving you
the message.
166
00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:10,094
Miss Horne,
Lamont Sanford loves ya.
167
00:12:10,162 --> 00:12:12,494
Little lame Lamont.
168
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:18,168
Oh, wait a minute.
I'll come to your house.
169
00:12:18,237 --> 00:12:20,467
- I'll come. Yes. Yes.
- You will? You're not kidding me.
170
00:12:20,539 --> 00:12:23,303
- You're not just saying this.
- No, but listen, only for a minute.
171
00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:26,936
Just put your address right here.
I'll try to get there about 8:00.
172
00:12:27,012 --> 00:12:28,946
Will little Lamont
still be awake?
173
00:12:29,014 --> 00:12:31,244
If you're coming over,
I'll see to it that he is.
174
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:34,775
If you break your promise,
you'll break his heart.
175
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:38,449
- No, I promise.
- Thank you so much and for the picture.
176
00:12:38,524 --> 00:12:42,392
And thank you for saving my little boy.
I really appreciate it.
177
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:57,899
Where were you? I've been looking
for you for the last three hours.
178
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,604
Where was I?
Where were you?
179
00:12:59,678 --> 00:13:02,146
You just took off with them people,
left me standing there.
180
00:13:03,749 --> 00:13:06,115
That's the last time
I'm taking you anywhere.
181
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:08,119
Well, I'm glad
you went off and left me...
182
00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:10,382
'cause the greatest thing happened,
ever happened in my life.
183
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,651
- I'll bet.
- I ain't kiddin' ya.
184
00:13:12,725 --> 00:13:16,525
You remember when they took us to show
us whereJohnny Carson parked his car?
185
00:13:16,595 --> 00:13:20,122
- Yeah.
- "Here's Johnny!"
186
00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:22,133
Are you gonna
start that again?
187
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,362
Right after you left,
guess who I met.
188
00:13:24,436 --> 00:13:28,031
- Johnny Carson.
- No, no, no. A she.
189
00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,302
The first lady
of my dreams.
190
00:13:30,376 --> 00:13:32,207
Pat Nixon.
191
00:13:34,013 --> 00:13:36,607
If you're gonna be kidding around,
I'll just go on and tell you.
192
00:13:36,682 --> 00:13:39,310
You ready?
Lena Horne.
193
00:13:39,385 --> 00:13:44,914
You met Lena Horne? Pop, have you
been in the applejack again?
194
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,517
No, I met Lena Horne, and not only that,
she's coming here tonight.
195
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,024
What did you say?
196
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:54,861
You heard me.
Lena Horne is coming here tonight.
197
00:13:57,036 --> 00:13:59,596
- You don't believe me?
- Oh, I believe you.
198
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:03,039
She's coming here accompanied
by Duke Ellington's band...
199
00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:06,703
theJackson Five
and Chubby Checker.
200
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,713
Hi. Remember me?
201
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:17,481
I know who that is.
202
00:14:17,556 --> 00:14:20,320
Yeah, me too, it's Lena.
She couldn't wait to get here.
203
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,490
Hello, Lamont.
204
00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:27,498
Hey, Luther.
What you all doing here?
205
00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:29,500
Fred told us all
to come over.
206
00:14:29,568 --> 00:14:31,502
Yeah, come on in
and have a little sit-down.
207
00:14:31,570 --> 00:14:34,334
Get that chair against the wall, Billy.
Come on in, Arthur.
208
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:36,897
- Sit down there.
- What are you starting here?
209
00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:38,603
A Gray Panther party?
210
00:14:47,519 --> 00:14:50,647
Listen, if you don't wanna stay,
you can leave.
211
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:52,816
I done rounded up everybody
who was in the poolroom...
212
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,826
and brought 'em here
like you asked me to.
213
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,021
- What's this all about?
- Yeah, what's going on?
214
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:59,997
It better be important.
It was my shot.
215
00:15:00,065 --> 00:15:04,832
I thought you fellas might wanna
hear about my tour of NBC today.
216
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,372
See here?
Look at that stain.
217
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:09,839
That's Flip Wilson's oil.
218
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,935
Fred, I know you ain't brought us all
the way over here from the poolroom...
219
00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:14,946
to show us
Flip Wilson's oil.
220
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:19,314
No, I got some oil from Flip Wilson's
car, and I met Lena Horne.
221
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,683
- You met Lena Horne?
- You don't believe me?
222
00:15:24,123 --> 00:15:27,115
- Who is that?
- That's Lena Horne.
223
00:15:27,192 --> 00:15:29,353
Wait a minute.
Where'd you get that picture?
224
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,988
Lena gave it to me.
You see it's signed.
225
00:15:32,064 --> 00:15:35,329
That's a rubber stamp. You probably
bought that picture someplace.
226
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:38,837
You got about as close to Lena Horne
as you got to Flip Wilson.
227
00:15:38,904 --> 00:15:42,271
Well, I guess she'll have to tell you
herself when she gets here tonight.
228
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:43,865
Lena Horne
is coming here tonight?
229
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:46,844
Hey, Fred must have drank
some of Flip Wilson's oil.
230
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,472
I wouldn't mind
having a bit myself.
231
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:52,711
- I'll have a little taste.
- Yeah, give me a nip.
232
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,946
- I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
- What?
233
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:57,614
You don't believe
she's gonna be here. Wanna bet?
234
00:15:57,690 --> 00:16:00,284
- Put your money where your mouth is.
- Put up or shut up.
235
00:16:00,359 --> 00:16:02,691
Put your mouth on the floor.
I mean, money.
236
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,695
- You got a bet.
- I'm in.
237
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:07,425
- How much?
- Fifteen dollars apiece.
238
00:16:07,499 --> 00:16:10,161
- It's a bet.
- Fifteen bucks.
239
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:12,726
- Wait a minute. What are you doing?
- Stay out of this.
240
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:16,639
Fellas, when you get here tonight,
make sure you bring your money.
241
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:20,145
Oh, we're gonna bring ours.
You just make sure you got yours, hear?
242
00:16:20,212 --> 00:16:22,237
One other thing.
When you get here tonight...
243
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,942
hide outside
and look through the window.
244
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:27,008
Nobody gonna be lookin'
through no window.
245
00:16:27,086 --> 00:16:30,283
- Why can't we come in?
- You got to stay outside.
246
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:34,258
Wait a minute. I don't believe Lena
Horne is coming here tonight or ever.
247
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:37,227
But just in case she does,
why can't we all be here?
248
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,696
Tell her we're
having a meeting.
249
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:42,256
No, listen. If Lena Horne
came here and saw you guys...
250
00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:45,394
she wouldn't think it was no meeting,
she'd think it was a mugging.
251
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,938
Outside!
252
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,940
- We'll be back, hear?
- All right.
253
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,880
- What's the matter?
- You flipped.
254
00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:59,543
- You've flipped making a bet like that.
- So I flipped.
255
00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:01,848
You can go upstairs and stay in
your room when Lena Horne comes.
256
00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:03,945
Don't bother to come down.
257
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,218
You want her all to yourself?
Just the two of you.
258
00:17:06,291 --> 00:17:11,024
That's right. That's right.
A man and his Horne.
259
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,398
Gimme that picture.
260
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:18,959
Would you listen to me, Pop? Now even
if you did meet Lena Horne today...
261
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:21,029
and even if she said
she was coming here tonight...
262
00:17:21,106 --> 00:17:23,904
- she said it to get rid of you.
- What do you mean?
263
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:26,774
Do you know how many people
come up to her and ask for favors?
264
00:17:26,845 --> 00:17:30,246
It happens all the time. If she told
you she was coming here tonight...
265
00:17:30,315 --> 00:17:32,249
it's just to get you
out of her hair.
266
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:35,616
- And you believed her.
- Yeah, I believed her.
267
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,621
Sure I believe her.
268
00:17:37,689 --> 00:17:40,249
You wouldn't do that
to me, would you, Lena?
269
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:45,922
You would never do that to me. You know,
kill my chances of making 75 bucks.
270
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:56,899
Hello, NBC?
I'd like to speak to Miss Lena Horne.
271
00:17:56,975 --> 00:17:58,909
Thank you.
272
00:17:58,977 --> 00:18:00,774
Lena wouldn't lie to me.
273
00:18:01,980 --> 00:18:04,505
Lena couldn't lie to me.
274
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,177
Lena would never lie to me.
275
00:18:07,252 --> 00:18:09,186
Why'd you lie to me, Lena?
276
00:18:11,457 --> 00:18:13,652
Hello. What?
277
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,955
Yeah, I know she's going
to the airport...
278
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,020
but did she say she's gonna
stop anywhere else on the way?
279
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:22,465
She never said anything at all
about stopping anywhere else?
280
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:25,162
Straight to the airport.
281
00:18:25,237 --> 00:18:27,762
Oh, yeah.
Okay. Thank you.
282
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:38,180
"Sincerely. "
I bet that is a rubber stamp.
283
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:45,279
- Hello, son. Where you been?
- Where do you think?
284
00:18:45,357 --> 00:18:48,952
I was at the poolroom trying to talk them
dudes out of that ridiculous bet.
285
00:18:49,027 --> 00:18:50,961
- And?
- I couldn't.
286
00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:53,395
You don't still think
she's gonna show up, do you, Pop?
287
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:57,026
She said she was gonna be here.
Honest. I ain't lyin'.
288
00:18:57,102 --> 00:18:58,933
What time did she say
she was coming?
289
00:18:59,004 --> 00:19:02,167
- 8:00.
- Pop, it's 8:15 now.
290
00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:06,439
She ain't gonna show up, is she?
What am I gonna do?
291
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:09,174
I should make you stay here
and face them guys and pay up.
292
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:11,182
You know I ain't got
no 75 bucks.
293
00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,514
We'd better get outta here
and go to a movie.
294
00:19:13,585 --> 00:19:15,780
- When they get here, we'll be gone.
- That's a good idea.
295
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:18,721
There's a movie down at the Paradise
Theater that I think you oughta see.
296
00:19:18,790 --> 00:19:21,452
- What's the name of it?
- SnowJob.
297
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:22,960
I'm going upstairs.
298
00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:37,198
There goes Lena.
299
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:41,908
Fellas are here already.
300
00:19:43,916 --> 00:19:46,976
- Are you Fred Sanford?
- Yeah.
301
00:19:47,052 --> 00:19:48,383
Excuse me a moment.
302
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,255
Oh!
303
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,425
Oh!
304
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,461
Please, please,
don't have another heart attack.
305
00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,402
- I didn't expect you.
- But I told you I'd be here.
306
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,702
- Didn't you believe me?
- Yeah, but, I just didn't...
307
00:20:09,775 --> 00:20:11,709
- Are you all right now?
- Yeah, I'm okay now.
308
00:20:11,777 --> 00:20:14,769
You know something. You oughta
do something about those heart attacks.
309
00:20:14,846 --> 00:20:17,679
I am. I'm saving up
for a heart transplant.
310
00:20:19,718 --> 00:20:22,915
Anyway, I've got to get that plane,
so where's little Lamont?
311
00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:26,719
Who? Oh, yeah.
He's upstairs. Shh!
312
00:20:26,792 --> 00:20:29,989
- Oh, is he asleep?
- Yeah, he just went to sleep.
313
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:33,759
Oh, I'm so sorry. I could have
helped put him into his jammies.
314
00:20:41,707 --> 00:20:44,175
Yeah, he would have
liked that.
315
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:48,646
Hey, Pop! I think
we'd better get outta here!
316
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:50,705
Pop?
Did he say, "Pop"?
317
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:54,418
Is that little Lamont?
318
00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:55,953
Oh!
319
00:21:04,396 --> 00:21:07,365
I think I'm having one, Pop.
320
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:10,265
My very first one.
321
00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:12,360
And it's a big one!
322
00:21:12,437 --> 00:21:15,133
You hear that, Mom?
323
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,404
Your little boy's
coming to join you.
324
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:20,411
With a mustache!
325
00:21:22,381 --> 00:21:25,179
Lamont, Lamont,
this is Lena Horne.
326
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,447
- I know.
- This is little Lamont?
327
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,387
- What?
- Little lame Lamont?
328
00:21:31,456 --> 00:21:35,187
What is this story you told me, Mr.
Sanford? I thought you had a little son.
329
00:21:35,260 --> 00:21:38,889
I do. He'll always
be my little son.
330
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:41,194
Well, of all the low-down,
rotten tricks.
331
00:21:41,266 --> 00:21:44,997
Getting me out here by telling me
you have a little boy who was lame.
332
00:21:45,070 --> 00:21:49,063
- Lame?
- You oughta be ashamed of yourself.
333
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:52,599
You don't have to be lame in the leg.
You can be lame somewhere else.
334
00:21:57,149 --> 00:22:00,983
- You told her I was lame?
- "Lame. " That's what he said.
335
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,284
After I told you where I had to go
and why I was in a hurry.
336
00:22:04,356 --> 00:22:07,018
And now I'm gonna miss my plane,
and it's all your fault.
337
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:10,220
Well, all I'm gonna say to you
is thank you very much.
338
00:22:10,295 --> 00:22:12,786
- Lena Horne!
- Yeah!
339
00:22:12,864 --> 00:22:15,833
- It's really Lena!
- It's her all over!
340
00:22:15,901 --> 00:22:19,302
Who are these,
little Lamont's little playmates?
341
00:22:20,739 --> 00:22:23,401
Fred, that is Lena Horne.
Man, you wasn't jivin'.
342
00:22:23,475 --> 00:22:25,602
- You really did it.
- I knew her right away.
343
00:22:25,677 --> 00:22:28,669
Well, good night, fellas.
Miss Horne has gotta get her plane.
344
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:32,649
Now wait a minute. You won the bet.
We owe you 15 bucks apiece.
345
00:22:33,785 --> 00:22:35,719
I got the money
right here for all of us.
346
00:22:35,787 --> 00:22:37,721
Yeah, a bet's a bet now.
347
00:22:37,789 --> 00:22:41,281
Bet?
Did you say a bet?
348
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:44,818
Fred bet us 15 bucks apiece he could
get you to come to his house tonight...
349
00:22:44,896 --> 00:22:47,262
and son of a gun
if he didn't do it.
350
00:22:47,332 --> 00:22:52,736
- You low-down, rotten, lyin', jivin'...
- Wait! Wait!
351
00:22:52,804 --> 00:22:55,102
You gotta let me explain.
See, let me explain.
352
00:22:55,173 --> 00:22:57,368
When you told me you had to fly
to San Francisco...
353
00:22:57,442 --> 00:23:00,639
to do a benefit
for Operation Headstart...
354
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:03,806
I got to thinking I got some friends
that might want to make a donation.
355
00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:07,409
So to make sure they all had money when
they got here, that's why I bet 'em.
356
00:23:07,486 --> 00:23:10,478
And here's all the money right now
with our compliments.
357
00:23:10,555 --> 00:23:12,989
Where's your 15, Pop?
358
00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:22,200
- Is this for real? Really real?
- Yeah.
359
00:23:22,267 --> 00:23:24,201
It's real.
Don't you love it?
360
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:27,932
Oh, what can I say?
This is wonderful.
361
00:23:30,308 --> 00:23:32,776
Thank you very much.
362
00:23:36,081 --> 00:23:38,675
Wait a minute, Miss Horne.
Here's my 15!
363
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,685
Say, Pop, aren't you
coming to bed?
364
00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:53,219
- Hey, aren't you coming to bed?
- Huh?
365
00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:54,822
She was here.
366
00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:58,861
- She kissed me.
- I know, Pop.
367
00:23:58,937 --> 00:24:01,599
I was kissed by the Horne.
368
00:24:01,673 --> 00:24:03,903
Listen, Pop.
You gotta get some sleep.
369
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:07,172
She was in this house. She was standing
right there where you are.
370
00:24:07,245 --> 00:24:10,271
And she gave me one
across the lips.
371
00:24:10,348 --> 00:24:12,976
I know, Pop. Come on.
Let's go to bed now.
372
00:24:13,051 --> 00:24:16,748
- She was right here in this house.
- I know that, Pop, but she's gone now.
373
00:24:16,822 --> 00:24:20,121
Yeah, she's gone...
374
00:24:20,192 --> 00:24:22,217
but she was here.
375
00:24:22,294 --> 00:24:27,391
I don't know why there ain'tno sun up in the sky
376
00:24:27,466 --> 00:24:29,400
Stormy weather
377
00:24:40,879 --> 00:24:45,009
Sanford and Son was recordedon tape before a live studio audience.
31634
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