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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:20,281 - Hello, I'm Sasha Neulinger, the host of "Shit Diaries," 2 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,154 and today our lovely guest will be... 3 00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,593 Excuse me, what are you doing? 4 00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,728 What are you doing, Bekah? 5 00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:57,622 I don't wanna curse to my parents. 6 00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,016 I don't wanna be mean to my parents. 7 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,323 And I don't wanna hate my parents. 8 00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,069 You know how you have a nightmare 9 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,505 and you wish you could go back 10 00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,246 and change what happened in the nightmare? 11 00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,205 - Look at me. - I'm sorry 12 00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:17,077 I did something bad, okay? 13 00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,777 In the moment, when the footage actually was being filmed, 14 00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,474 I hated life. 15 00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,521 I know vaguely how I got to this place, 16 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,741 but there are pieces that are missing. 17 00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,355 It's a puzzle made from my life 18 00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,706 and I feel like I have to put that puzzle back together 19 00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,100 if I'm ever going to really move on. 20 00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,934 The real Sasha, 21 00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:55,071 the four-year-old Sasha, is coming back. 22 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,432 Late in my pregnancy 23 00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,695 I started having a medical problem 24 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,481 so I found myself a month earlier than expected 25 00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,309 in the hospital being monitored 26 00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:19,226 and we came to this moment where there was no choice, 27 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,141 but to have the child. 28 00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,968 I've called my husband and asked him to come 29 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,187 because we're gonna have the baby 30 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:28,496 and he's not there, and my parents come down, 31 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,193 my sister comes in. 32 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,500 I've got family around me. 33 00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,502 There are people there, but still no Henry. 34 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:38,332 Everybody's wondering, is Henry okay? 35 00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,291 Hours and hours and hours and hours are passing 36 00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:45,861 and finally Henry showed up, and turns out 37 00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,080 Henry had gone to buy a video camera. 38 00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,823 We're rolling. 39 00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:54,217 Hi, hello, you're making a face, 40 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,697 what's the matter? 41 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:59,831 The camera immediately became a wall 42 00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,485 between Henry and the family. 43 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,488 Does he look like his mom? 44 00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:08,231 - It was something that became intrusive to me 45 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:12,235 because it was constant and it felt to me 46 00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,281 like I lost my husband. 47 00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:17,588 My husband disappeared into this lens. 48 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,423 Jacqui, are you walking away? 49 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,338 What's the matter, honey? Why don't you come here? 50 00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,297 I would like to see you. - She's over there. 51 00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,212 - You know I'm not in this video. 52 00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,387 She's not in this video. 53 00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,303 - Henry, turn it around. 54 00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:37,826 - Is it? - Oh. 55 00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,829 - He is laying here now. 56 00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,309 - There you go. - Very good. 57 00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,527 - Well this is... - Jacqui, what's the matter? 58 00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:44,876 Nothing, this is your time. 59 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,269 Grandpa, what does it mean for you 60 00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,532 to have a great-grandchild? 61 00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,534 - Heaven. - Happy? 62 00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,450 - That's the only way I can express, heaven. 63 00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,017 That's right, that's right. 64 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,932 What did you feel the first time you ever saw him, 65 00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:57,846 how did you feel? 66 00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,240 - I nearly fainted. 67 00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,722 Look at that. 68 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,984 It's wonderful. 69 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,206 This is the world's most documented family. 70 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,773 Coming from both sides. 71 00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,473 Hello, hello. 72 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,087 Hello? 73 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,134 Then bring it. 74 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,091 Oh I'm sorry. 75 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,441 Well yes and no. 76 00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:36,101 โ™ช Happy birthday to you 77 00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,103 - Here he is. 78 00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,846 - Daddy, it's all finished now, of the tape. 79 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,718 Now, take the tape out. 80 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,763 You want no me to take your picture anymore? 81 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,461 - No. - Why? 82 00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,550 - I just don't want you to. 83 00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,986 What do you want me to do? 84 00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:02,476 - Why do you have all of this footage? 85 00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,826 - Yeah, you know what, it's just stuff I've accumulated 86 00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,916 over the years and I got into it. 87 00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,048 And I don't know some of the people that are in these films 88 00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,790 because some of them aren't marked, but to me I felt like 89 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,183 these were people's lives. 90 00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:16,707 Somebody took the time to record 91 00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:19,014 what they were in their lives. 92 00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,320 Their happy moments. 93 00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,799 That's what home movies were. 94 00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,193 It wasn't, you didn't film things that were bad. 95 00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,716 You took out the movie camera 96 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,283 'cause there was a celebration, 97 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,285 because there was a trip, because there was a party 98 00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,635 and that, every time I videotaped you guys 99 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,508 it was all that, except in the background 100 00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:39,556 stuff was going on and now when I look at them, I see that. 101 00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,778 Right here, you want to come up and get it? 102 00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,388 - Commercial, a little x-rated, 103 00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,303 let's, mixed company, let's go. 104 00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,096 Henry and Larry, 105 00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,098 they played off each other really well, 106 00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:03,058 but it was almost like a performance piece. 107 00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,060 - We've always been hooked as brothers. 108 00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:09,804 Larry was Sasha's godfather. 109 00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,632 That was Henry's choice. 110 00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:13,329 It was his brother. 111 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,679 I don't think that Howard was pleased about it. 112 00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,469 My brother Howard was the first born. 113 00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,646 My brother Larry was born five years later 114 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,735 and then I was born 1955. 115 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,915 There was no question in my mind 116 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,657 that my brother Howard was my mother's favorite. 117 00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,617 He was this budding opera star. 118 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,706 I would go to see him in operas and we would all go 119 00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,013 and Howard would get written up in the newspaper 120 00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:45,927 and his picture taken. 121 00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,059 Wow, that voice and his demeanor 122 00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,627 and his like, strength of character on stage. 123 00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,586 He was a dramatic and he was very strong 124 00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,239 and he had this deep baritone voice. 125 00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,111 He was like somebody to be reckoned with. 126 00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,872 - Henry's the first Jewish man I ever dated. 127 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,221 My parents had always said 128 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,571 you're gonna marry a Jewish man. 129 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,920 He was living in Maine. 130 00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:26,837 He was creating programming for PBS up there. 131 00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,450 I was living in Philadelphia. 132 00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,060 I was a graphic designer. 133 00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,323 I loved her creativity, 134 00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,499 her intellectual capacity. 135 00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,501 We could have these really interesting discussions 136 00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,763 about anything. 137 00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:42,679 - We moved into it really rather fast. 138 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,295 - Let's hear it for the chef. 139 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,999 Jacqui was born on Thursday, July 20th, 1961, 140 00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,567 and in the headlines, NASA put man in space, 141 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:03,004 commander Alan Shepard Junior makes suborbital flight. 142 00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,181 What was the time like for you then? 143 00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,399 Was it a happy time? 144 00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,406 There was just so much happening. 145 00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,713 We built this organic garden in the back 146 00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,889 and we were growing our own food 147 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,891 and I mean it was really nice. 148 00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:25,287 It felt like it was just this amazing, big playground 149 00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,289 where everybody could be happy. 150 00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,725 We were renovating that house. 151 00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,294 We were starting a business successfully. 152 00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,991 The fabric of life, 153 00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,732 there was a lot that was beautiful. 154 00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,212 It was early. 155 00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,564 Before Sasha was born, we wanted to find a place 156 00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,653 where there were good schools 157 00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:46,830 and some greenery around our house, some open space. 158 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,703 In the 1800s they had built a railroad 159 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,008 and the railroad would go out 160 00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,402 to what were the Philadelphia suburbs. 161 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,709 - People wouldn't go near this house that we saw 162 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,188 because it was kind of overgrown 163 00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,800 and you looked in the window, it hadn't been painted 164 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,498 or anything done in 30 years. 165 00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,022 And Jacqui and I looked at it and we saw through that. 166 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,372 We saw what the potential was. 167 00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,028 Have you heard 168 00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,335 about. 169 00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,510 Yeah. 170 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:18,296 Suddenly we found ourselves 171 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,342 kind of like the meeting house, 172 00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,649 the meeting place for the family. 173 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,521 โ™ช I love you 174 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:29,743 โ™ช Words wouldn't come in an easy way โ™ช 175 00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,529 We had this beautiful home, 176 00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,270 and this yard, and this porch. 177 00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,706 It was bliss. 178 00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,709 It was like, and everything was like a fairy tale. 179 00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,319 How are you? 180 00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,886 Can you tell us who we have there? 181 00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:43,887 Who is that? 182 00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,149 - Rebekah. 183 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,760 Rebekah, and who is Rebekah? 184 00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,066 - Rebekah. 185 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,068 And who is she? 186 00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,069 - Rebekah Anne. 187 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,244 Is it your sister? 188 00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,638 - Bekah was born shortly after 189 00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,032 we moved into the house in Rosemont 190 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,862 and Sasha was really delighted. 191 00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:05,605 He was so joyful to have a little sister. 192 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:10,392 He couldn't wait to come home from play dates or day care 193 00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:14,962 and run to find her and run to be with her. 194 00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,400 โ™ช Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry โ™ช 195 00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,756 It's all gone. 196 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,149 Sasha was an extraordinary child. 197 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,760 He was very interactive, he was very present. 198 00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,589 - Yeah. 199 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,505 - We love you. 200 00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,116 - You love me. - I love you very much. 201 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,162 - And my daddy does. - Yes he does. 202 00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,772 There was a time early on, 203 00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:47,211 Sasha was a very little boy, and he said to me one morning, 204 00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,345 he said, "Mom, I chose you to be my mother 205 00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,477 "because you're the person who can help me become 206 00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,566 "the person that I'm supposed to be." 207 00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,526 And I'm looking at him and thinking, 208 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,441 wow, what does he mean? 209 00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,704 He was a little kid. 210 00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,706 Then he paused and he said, "And I had to wait 211 00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:07,667 "a really long time for you because you weren't ready." 212 00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,147 โ™ช Miss America 213 00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:14,151 He was an unusual child, very intense, 214 00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,066 very focused and very joyful. 215 00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,241 Sasha, you're on TV now. 216 00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:20,418 - Can I see? Can I see? 217 00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:23,421 I would like to see. 218 00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,335 Scoot back. 219 00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,729 Ready? 220 00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,079 Swing. 221 00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,386 There was a tremendous change in Sasha 222 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,519 between kindergarten and first grade. 223 00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,826 In kindergarten they called me into school 224 00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,133 and told me that they've done some standardized testing 225 00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:43,267 and that Sasha had scored at an extraordinary high level. 226 00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,269 The teacher said that he clearly was gonna need 227 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:49,012 special support because of his incredible gifts. 228 00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:54,409 By the following year, Sasha was increasingly struggling 229 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,977 being able to read or write. 230 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,501 He was quickly moved into a support system 231 00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,895 for kids that were not keeping up. 232 00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,766 Sasha didn't want to go to school anymore. 233 00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:09,337 He started to have episodes where he would seem withdrawn. 234 00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,034 All right, let me see your real mask now, Sasha. 235 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,209 What about your real face? 236 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,385 Here it comes. 237 00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:20,565 - Those trains are really doing some damage work out there 238 00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,045 come from city to city. 239 00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,307 Yeah, what do you think they're doing? 240 00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,787 What do you think they're carrying? 241 00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,529 - I think they're carrying lots of stuff serious. 242 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:28,399 Medicines. 243 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,057 - So why, when the first thing happened, 244 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,798 why didn't you come to me and tell me? 245 00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,714 Certainly you felt safe and you felt that I loved you 246 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,629 and you knew that I would protect you. 247 00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,456 - I didn't. 248 00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,936 - I mean you can see it. 249 00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:47,027 - Me right there in that moment, I had never been abused. 250 00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,247 After I was abused and I walked downstairs 251 00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,684 with my abuser 252 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:59,256 after it had all happened, the first thing was 253 00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,172 you offered him food and gave him a hug. 254 00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,826 But we didn't know what he did. 255 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,307 - I didn't, I was just a little kid. 256 00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,276 Dad, get the video camera. 257 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,279 What do you think I'm doing? 258 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:26,283 He started asking for the camera as he got older more often 259 00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,503 than me just showing up with the camera. 260 00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,984 He started to see that the video camera 261 00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,074 wasn't just something that you recorded happy times, 262 00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:35,684 but it was a tool. 263 00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,425 - And do a close action, 264 00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,296 make it look like I'm really far up. 265 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,776 Climbing up the mountain, oh my God! 266 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,431 "Dad, take the camera and I wanna say something." 267 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,736 Come here a minute. 268 00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,521 - Let me tell you where I want him to be buried. 269 00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:49,132 - Tell us what we're doing. - Look, right here. 270 00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,395 We're having a funeral for my guinea pig. 271 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,745 Why can't we open it up and see? 272 00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,008 I'm not gonna remember him like that. 273 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,096 We don't wanna open up. 274 00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,662 - It's my guinea pig. 275 00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:58,881 I know, but it's not good 276 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,404 for you to look at him now, okay, trust me. 277 00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,884 - It's all right, dad. - Trust me. 278 00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,973 - It's all right. - It's three against one. 279 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,628 - Yes, Sasha. - How about we 280 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:07,977 all shut our eyes 281 00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,893 because I want him to be like in there, 282 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:14,592 not with the box 'cause he needs to like take the plants 283 00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,116 and the veins up with him. 284 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,900 - Yeah. - In other words, 285 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,336 he doesn't think he should be in a box, 286 00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,772 he should be planted in the earth? 287 00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,252 - Yeah. - And go back to the earth 288 00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,514 like naturally? 289 00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:26,430 - Yeah, why do you wanna bury someone in a box. 290 00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,824 - I order you to put him back in the earth. 291 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,043 The earth is - The box is-- 292 00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,261 how he was made. 293 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,220 The earth, Mother Earth. 294 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,656 - A box is like 295 00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:35,875 a thousand times smaller. - I just feel like 296 00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,180 that's really good for him. 297 00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,747 Tell me why, explain that to me. 298 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:44,144 - I order him to be buried without the box. 299 00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:45,972 The freedom to be feeling the plants. 300 00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,234 Here's the box. 301 00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,758 - Shall we take him out and put him in? 302 00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,499 He was a great guinea pig. 303 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:58,245 Justin, son of Sasha. 304 00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:02,814 โ™ช I can't get no satisfaction 305 00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:05,992 โ™ช But I try, try, try 306 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,218 - It was across there. 307 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,875 It was so huge 308 00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:26,447 and grown with the leaves to the ground. 309 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,058 I don't know whether it is still alive, 310 00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,320 it's been a lot of years. 311 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,888 - Did you, 312 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,586 did you pick the tree or did I pick it? 313 00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:40,461 - I think you went over to play in it. 314 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,250 You were at day care 315 00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,296 and I came to pick you up one day from day care 316 00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:50,558 and we went home 317 00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,647 and I gave you a bath and I put you in the tub 318 00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,823 and you started crying the minute you hit the water 319 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:58,479 and what you said was, "There's swords in my penis." 320 00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,785 And there was an abrasion on your penis. 321 00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,439 So I called the pediatrician 322 00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,137 and I took you right to the office. 323 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,529 You wouldn't say anything. 324 00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:08,402 All you would say was, "Another boy pinched me." 325 00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,621 I said to him, 326 00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:16,497 "Is there any chance that there's an adult 327 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,544 that is acting inappropriately with Sasha?" 328 00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:23,504 He said, "You don't wanna open that door." 329 00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,505 - This is the doctor saying? 330 00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,028 - The doctor said to me. 331 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,335 He said, "If you open this door and we report this, 332 00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,641 "they're gonna, they're gonna come to your house. 333 00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,948 "They're gonna remove your husband from the house. 334 00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,297 "This is gonna become public. 335 00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,082 "It's gonna be terrible for your family. 336 00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,171 "You don't wanna open this door." 337 00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,087 - Is this it? - Yeah. 338 00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,745 It's not a willow, but a weeping something. 339 00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,573 I think it's a weeping cherry. 340 00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,976 - Why did we come to this tree? 341 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:06,025 - You were becoming increasingly 342 00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,418 dangerous to yourself. 343 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,378 Like, we'd be driving and you would open the door 344 00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,683 and try and jump out. 345 00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:16,209 You were expressing that something was awful 346 00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:19,647 and you didn't want to continue living. 347 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,998 So that's why we came here. 348 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,436 It was completely free from any possible connection 349 00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,916 to what might have happened. 350 00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:31,485 I said, "You know that good people do good things?" 351 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,008 and you said, "Yeah," 352 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,183 and I said, "And you know 353 00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,837 "that bad people can do bad things." 354 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,404 And you said, "Yeah." 355 00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:40,798 and I said, "Well, sometimes bad people do good things." 356 00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,235 and you kinda looked at me and I said, 357 00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:45,716 "And sometimes good people do bad things." 358 00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,242 And you looked at me and said, "Are you gonna kill me now?" 359 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:56,510 Okay. 360 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,125 What's your name? 361 00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,692 - Hey, get to the movie! 362 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,607 But I'm not normal. 363 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,738 You're not normal? 364 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,000 - Yeah. - Why? 365 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,699 - Because my name is Squeegee Luigi 366 00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,569 'cause I go like this. 367 00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:18,227 - Sasha, do you wanna go to...? - Bekah, 368 00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,447 get out of the movie! 369 00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:23,102 - Do you wanna go to the dog? 370 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,148 - I'm in a movie theater. 371 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,454 Go get the dog. 372 00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:34,548 Hey! 373 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,899 - Sorry. 374 00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,074 Sorry. 375 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,729 I'm sorry I did something bad, okay?! 376 00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,050 - I can make you a cup of espresso. 377 00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,096 - Yeah, sure. 378 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:01,923 - You want espresso? - Sure. 379 00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,577 - I can even do a latte. 380 00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:06,406 - Actually I'm really into soy lattes right now. 381 00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,277 - Oh my God, really? - Uh-huh. 382 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,497 - Well, I'm not politically correct. 383 00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,020 I don't use soy. 384 00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,021 - It's not about politics. 385 00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:13,978 - I know. - It's about 386 00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,154 not wanting dairy. 387 00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,459 - I have a soy latte. 388 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,852 - You got the judgment... - Free range milk. 389 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,421 - On the soy latte people? - No, no, no. 390 00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:24,728 If you're gonna have coffee, 391 00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,252 have it with some cream for God sakes. 392 00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,169 - So how are you? 393 00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:32,649 - Well, let's see, 394 00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,869 it's like this whole revisiting all of this 395 00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:40,918 has kinda displaced me, and it's kind of like, 396 00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,878 it's been a struggle to keep track of where I am today 397 00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:49,275 and having to revisit the past, so that we can talk about it... 398 00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:53,235 it's caused me some depression and some anger. 399 00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,020 I start to feel like it reminds me. 400 00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,109 I feel like I'm slipping back. 401 00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,947 When I think about my mother, I was sort of tolerated 402 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,474 more than loved. 403 00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:21,220 My mother was inaccessible emotionally. 404 00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:26,442 She compensated by being very gregarious. 405 00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,096 - Do they know how to make love? 406 00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,971 โ™ช In the army now, woo 407 00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:34,972 And it rubs off. 408 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,236 - You know it works both ways. 409 00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,020 But when there weren't people around. 410 00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,543 - Are you not talking about that? 411 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:44,286 - All I can remember is my mother berating my father 412 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,724 every single day of his life. 413 00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:51,946 She ridiculed him, emasculated him, 414 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,775 and he just stood there and took it. 415 00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,996 My father hated confrontation. 416 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,304 My mother, she avoided anything emotional. 417 00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:11,531 'Cause I lived in an environment of judgment and pain 418 00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,141 I became a very angry child 419 00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:19,930 and I manifested that way in becoming kind of like a joker. 420 00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,237 Trying to make people laugh all the time. 421 00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,548 Did you ever see 422 00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,376 two nuts like that in your life? 423 00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,032 - And I think it was because 424 00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:39,776 I could make people laugh and I could be somebody else. 425 00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:43,214 He's filming. 426 00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:45,216 Oh my. Henry, Henry. 427 00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:58,186 - We're being watched by other people across the way too. 428 00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,405 And just let us. 429 00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:03,278 Dad, give me another funny face. 430 00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,324 So I might have to make a small adjustment 431 00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:09,893 to the drop, a touch painful on reentry. 432 00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:12,374 Funny face. 433 00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,463 Take off your glasses and let me see your eyes roll. 434 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,334 - Oh come on, Sasha. 435 00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,814 - Finger, come on! 436 00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:18,989 Any boast, by chance? 437 00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:21,557 - Come on, the string. 438 00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,342 - I don't wanna do the string now. 439 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,387 I wanna watch the TV with Bekah. 440 00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,258 Why don't you go shoot something that's interesting 441 00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:28,129 instead of me? 442 00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,784 I got a call at the office 443 00:22:30,827 --> 00:22:33,264 from a therapist he was seeing at the time 444 00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:35,919 and Jacqui said you have to come over here right now. 445 00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:37,573 This was important. 446 00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,227 I remember walking into that office 447 00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:41,708 and he never made contact, eye contact. 448 00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:44,188 Dr. Vogelson, I went to shake his hand. 449 00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,669 He kinda acted like, it was weird. 450 00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:48,454 It's like wouldn't you like look at somebody 451 00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:49,629 that comes into your office 452 00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:51,195 and at least acknowledge they're, you know? 453 00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,414 So he was acting very strange to me. 454 00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,373 I said, okay, whatever. 455 00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:57,158 Sat down and then, of course, he proceeded to tell me 456 00:22:57,201 --> 00:23:00,640 that you said some things and that they implied 457 00:23:00,683 --> 00:23:03,643 that something happened to you by someone in the family. 458 00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:04,905 - Sexually? 459 00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:06,428 - Something sexually happened to him. 460 00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:09,170 He's been abused sexually and you're the prime suspect 461 00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:10,432 at this time. 462 00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:11,694 He kept looking at me very strangely. 463 00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:14,218 "I suggest that you have an attorney. 464 00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:15,698 I suggest that you have a lie detector test." 465 00:23:15,742 --> 00:23:17,483 It was like he-- 466 00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:19,746 He says, "My job is to protect your son" 467 00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:23,097 and he threatened to say if they thought I was a threat 468 00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,534 that they would have me removed from the house. 469 00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:28,798 I was shit because I was the prime suspect. 470 00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:38,939 - I'm a spoiled brat. 471 00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,593 I'm a bitch. 472 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,422 I suck. 473 00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,729 I am a-- - Loser. 474 00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:47,991 - Loser. 475 00:23:48,035 --> 00:23:51,430 I remember being in my bedroom watching the ink 476 00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:55,259 kind of spill into the fabric as I was writing. 477 00:23:55,303 --> 00:23:57,697 - And you came down into the kitchen with those as a mask 478 00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:59,046 over your head. 479 00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:01,309 You wore this part more like around your, 480 00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:03,877 under your mouth and this came up over your head. 481 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,490 Yeah, like that. 482 00:24:08,534 --> 00:24:09,970 - Oh my God. 483 00:24:10,013 --> 00:24:10,884 - Yep. 484 00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:14,627 - Oh my God. - But you were little 485 00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,150 and it covered your eyes then 486 00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:18,065 and I asked you to take it off and you wouldn't 487 00:24:18,108 --> 00:24:19,240 and you got a knife 488 00:24:19,283 --> 00:24:21,721 and you were threatening to kill yourself. 489 00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:23,810 I remember Stewart was like, come on, dude, take it off. 490 00:24:23,853 --> 00:24:25,812 Come on, and he was like really pushing you 491 00:24:25,855 --> 00:24:28,728 to not do this. 492 00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:35,038 - My nephew Stewart, Larry's second son, 493 00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:38,128 he was discharged from the Air Force 494 00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:42,829 and he wanted to go back and live with his parents. 495 00:24:42,872 --> 00:24:47,834 Well, his mom had remarried and his step-father said, 496 00:24:47,877 --> 00:24:49,444 "No, you can't come back here. 497 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,446 "When I was 18 I was thrown out of the house. 498 00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,274 "You're a man now, you're not coming home." 499 00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:55,406 So Stewart came to live with us for a few months 500 00:24:55,450 --> 00:24:57,104 and he helped me around the house. 501 00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:59,498 He was very happy to watch the kids. 502 00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,239 - I was outside having a softball catch for a while. 503 00:25:19,648 --> 00:25:21,084 Yeah. 504 00:25:51,854 --> 00:25:53,290 - Is that everything? 505 00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:56,119 - That, these are my complete medical records. 506 00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,513 - Of our time. 507 00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:02,604 - Of your treatment with me. 508 00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:05,738 - Okay. - Or our encounters. 509 00:26:05,781 --> 00:26:08,131 - Our encounters. 510 00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:09,568 10 years of encounters. 511 00:26:10,656 --> 00:26:11,831 - When I first saw Sasha 512 00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,399 he was a cute little boy 513 00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:22,581 whose parents were confused and desperate 514 00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:27,324 and the boy himself was spewing vituperation, anger. 515 00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,332 Whatever the problem was that you were having, 516 00:26:35,376 --> 00:26:38,466 it was very deep 517 00:26:41,121 --> 00:26:43,471 and you weren't saying a lot. 518 00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:49,564 A child often is not able to express in words 519 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:53,655 what sort of dysfunction they're experiencing. 520 00:26:53,699 --> 00:26:55,657 They usually show it in their behavior. 521 00:26:58,181 --> 00:27:03,970 It's really helpful to ask the child to draw pictures. 522 00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:05,667 - I did not get any attention 523 00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:08,931 and there's, I don't even know what these creatures are. 524 00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,716 They're like angry dogs maybe. 525 00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:15,503 - Anything on the back? 526 00:27:15,546 --> 00:27:17,592 - Let's see. 527 00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:20,508 This is a picture of how I felt when I wanted to 528 00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,510 jump out of the window. 529 00:27:22,553 --> 00:27:25,992 So Bekah, Mom and Dad are together and I'm alone. 530 00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,124 It's not that I didn't get love, 531 00:27:28,168 --> 00:27:29,822 it's that I didn't feel lovable. 532 00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:36,959 Oh! 533 00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:44,619 - We left Dr. Lustig's place, one afternoon, 534 00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:46,577 we got into the car, you were both in the back seat 535 00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:50,451 and Bekah started crying and I turned around 536 00:27:50,494 --> 00:27:54,716 and she was screaming and you were grabbing her chest 537 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,676 and I said, "Stop that, what are you doing?" 538 00:27:57,719 --> 00:28:00,591 And you said, "I'm doing a titty twister." 539 00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:02,724 And Bekah was hysterical crying at that point. 540 00:28:02,768 --> 00:28:06,380 You said, "Bekah has a private club with Stewart 541 00:28:06,423 --> 00:28:08,425 "and if I were you, I'd wanna know what was going on 542 00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:10,601 "in that private club." 543 00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,691 That was all that you said, and you didn't touch her again 544 00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:14,301 the whole way home. 545 00:28:14,344 --> 00:28:20,263 So we sit down and I said to Bekah, 546 00:28:20,307 --> 00:28:23,310 "Sasha said that you have a private club with Stewart." 547 00:28:23,353 --> 00:28:24,746 And she said, "Yep." 548 00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,879 And I said, "Okay, what happens in the club?" 549 00:28:26,922 --> 00:28:28,489 She said, "I can't say it." 550 00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,013 She was so little, Sasha. 551 00:28:31,971 --> 00:28:33,624 And I said, "Could you draw it?" 552 00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:35,322 And she said, "Yep." 553 00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:37,890 So I got her a piece of paper and a pen. 554 00:28:37,933 --> 00:28:41,676 - I was just coming down the stairs 555 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,725 and I remember my brother kind of came around the corner 556 00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:50,206 and I locked eyes with him and I was just terrified 557 00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,992 and at that moment I knew that he knew. 558 00:28:53,993 --> 00:28:55,995 No words were exchanged. 559 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:16,755 While the abuse would happen, it would, for the most part, 560 00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,061 be in his room in the attic 561 00:29:19,105 --> 00:29:22,064 and there was this picture of a cat. 562 00:29:22,108 --> 00:29:23,762 I would just look at this picture. 563 00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:27,635 I would feel everything that was happening, 564 00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:32,553 him touching me, penetrating me, making me touch him, 565 00:29:32,596 --> 00:29:36,513 but I would still just be lost in that picture. 566 00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:40,300 I wasn't even present, I wasn't there. 567 00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:41,692 My mind wasn't there. 568 00:29:52,051 --> 00:29:54,575 Someone turned the lights out. 569 00:29:57,883 --> 00:30:01,800 You know, it was scary for me to draw that picture 570 00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:06,500 and tell her, but at the same time, 571 00:30:06,543 --> 00:30:09,851 I felt like in a way death would be better 572 00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:12,549 than having to endure that. 573 00:30:20,383 --> 00:30:22,733 I don't think I've ever said that. 574 00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:26,346 Ever in my life, not even to Doc. 575 00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:27,651 But it's the truth. 576 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,452 Thank you. 577 00:30:46,757 --> 00:30:48,237 - Thank you. 578 00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:12,783 This is what I imagined 579 00:31:12,827 --> 00:31:14,655 my sister was going through. 580 00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:19,616 This is what I, these are the images I saw in my mind. 581 00:31:23,707 --> 00:31:27,146 The only reason I felt comfortable starting 582 00:31:27,189 --> 00:31:30,323 to even talk about what was happening to me 583 00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:35,502 was because I felt obligated to tell my parents 584 00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:38,374 or hint to my parents what was happening to my sister. 585 00:31:38,418 --> 00:31:41,987 I knew that Bekah was the most beautiful person in the world 586 00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:43,945 and if he was doing that to her, 587 00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:46,121 then maybe what he was doing is wrong 588 00:31:46,165 --> 00:31:50,343 and also, I don't want him to do it to her anymore. 589 00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:54,869 He had the courage to talk to my mom 590 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,263 about what was happening. 591 00:31:57,306 --> 00:31:58,960 Not exactly what was going on, 592 00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,919 but kind of beat around the bush 593 00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:03,443 and said you should talk to Bekah. 594 00:32:03,486 --> 00:32:06,794 And I just remember after that, 595 00:32:08,796 --> 00:32:10,929 everything just kind of exploded. 596 00:32:13,888 --> 00:32:16,282 In the confines of this office, 597 00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:18,980 which he regarded as safe, 598 00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:21,635 he began to tell me what had happened. 599 00:32:40,436 --> 00:32:41,872 - And this is it, July '98. 600 00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,135 This is the drawing. 601 00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:46,660 This is the drawing, this is the drawing 602 00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:48,618 that revealed... - Larry. 603 00:32:48,662 --> 00:32:49,793 - Larry. 604 00:32:49,837 --> 00:32:51,491 Holy shit. 605 00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:07,420 - Is that your candle? 606 00:33:11,076 --> 00:33:12,294 Cameraman, cameraman. 607 00:33:14,949 --> 00:33:16,646 Photographs events whenever he can. 608 00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:35,361 - "If you tell, I'll kill you" 609 00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:40,366 and there's someone hanging from a noose peeing blood, 610 00:33:40,409 --> 00:33:43,978 a woman on spikes and a devil in flames. 611 00:33:46,633 --> 00:33:48,852 10/7/'99. 612 00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:50,419 Uncle Howie in hell. 613 00:33:51,638 --> 00:33:53,292 This drawing. 614 00:33:53,335 --> 00:33:56,034 The Thanksgiving where Howard pinched my penis. 615 00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:48,173 I overheard my parents yelling 616 00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:51,393 and my mom said something along the lines 617 00:34:51,437 --> 00:34:55,441 of like, "How could you let them come into our house? 618 00:34:55,484 --> 00:34:57,095 "Your brothers. 619 00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:58,922 "How could you let this happen?" 620 00:34:58,966 --> 00:35:02,187 And I knew that Sasha was being abused as well 621 00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:04,276 by more people than I was. 622 00:35:04,319 --> 00:35:06,800 "How could you let this happen" meant 623 00:35:06,843 --> 00:35:09,411 how could you let these people into our house 624 00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:11,065 that would abuse our children? 625 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,719 - If I could. 626 00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:25,558 We have all this here. 627 00:35:25,601 --> 00:35:26,820 This is the introduction 628 00:35:26,863 --> 00:35:29,170 to the what's wrong with Henry video, 629 00:35:29,214 --> 00:35:32,521 starring Henry Nevison as him frigging self. 630 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,480 - Myself, not not myself 631 00:35:34,523 --> 00:35:37,004 because I have to be me if I'm gonna play my-- 632 00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:39,137 Of course it's himself. 633 00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:41,748 But sometimes I'm not myself when I'm normally myself. 634 00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:44,185 โ™ช You're never the person you think you're not โ™ช 635 00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:45,752 โ™ช I'm never the person you know I am โ™ช 636 00:35:45,795 --> 00:35:47,275 โ™ช I'm not the person who know you are โ™ช 637 00:35:47,319 --> 00:35:50,191 โ™ช We're always the people we know we're not โ™ช 638 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,975 Errors be with them. 639 00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:53,673 Now, Stewart? 640 00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:25,139 Okay, that's all we need. 641 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,706 Okay, thank you. 642 00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:29,099 - Hi there, I'm here to see Detective Ohrin. 643 00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:30,666 Elevator, second floor. 644 00:36:39,675 --> 00:36:41,721 Terry breaking. 645 00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:44,158 Okay. 646 00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,073 It's not like-- 647 00:36:48,249 --> 00:36:50,469 - October 29th, 1998, 648 00:36:50,512 --> 00:36:52,340 your parents came into the police station. 649 00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:54,995 They laid out this general timeline 650 00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:59,304 and I just sat there like, oh boy, oh geez. 651 00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:00,653 This is gonna be a mess. 652 00:37:00,696 --> 00:37:01,610 You know? 653 00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:03,133 Realistically. 654 00:37:03,177 --> 00:37:04,526 Okay, you have all this information. 655 00:37:04,570 --> 00:37:07,181 Now what do you do? 656 00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:11,011 We have Larry, we have Stewart and we have Howard. 657 00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:14,275 Howard was in New York City. 658 00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:15,537 That would create its own set of problems. 659 00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:17,496 He's a cantor in Temple Emanu-El. 660 00:37:17,539 --> 00:37:19,846 It's the largest synagogue in the world. 661 00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:22,240 Every mover and shaker in New York is there. 662 00:37:22,283 --> 00:37:23,937 It's a high profile place. 663 00:37:26,766 --> 00:37:28,463 The guy sang for the pope. 664 00:37:28,507 --> 00:37:32,250 He's well respected, and to lock up somebody like that, 665 00:37:32,293 --> 00:37:34,774 you have to start getting all your ducks in a row. 666 00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:42,782 Stewart, Stewart was MIA. 667 00:37:42,825 --> 00:37:44,305 He was somewhere, but nobody knew where he was. 668 00:37:44,349 --> 00:37:45,263 He was around the area. 669 00:37:45,306 --> 00:37:46,176 I would get to him. 670 00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:47,917 Larry, I knew where Larry was. 671 00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:49,571 He lived about an hour away. 672 00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:52,139 So I went up to see him. 673 00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:53,445 - What are you doing? - Who's that? 674 00:37:54,794 --> 00:37:57,144 - I'll say, who in the world are you? 675 00:37:57,187 --> 00:37:59,146 - Just showed up cold on a whim. 676 00:37:59,189 --> 00:38:00,756 He could have slammed the door in my face. 677 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,368 We talked to him and confronted him 678 00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:05,718 with the issues about abusing you 679 00:38:07,589 --> 00:38:10,375 and he was adamant that this didn't happen. 680 00:38:10,418 --> 00:38:12,507 No, you got the wrong guy 681 00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:15,205 and he said, "Give me a polygraph examination. 682 00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:17,425 "I wanna take a polygraph exam." 683 00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:20,036 He doesn't do too well so we just tell him 684 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,734 he really didn't do too well and it's time 685 00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:23,692 to maybe clear the air, 686 00:38:25,041 --> 00:38:26,521 and his lips started quivering 687 00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:29,611 and he basically told the truth. 688 00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:31,134 He confessed. 689 00:38:31,178 --> 00:38:33,180 It was like a burden was lifted off his shoulders. 690 00:38:41,754 --> 00:38:42,581 - Wow. 691 00:38:52,242 --> 00:38:55,594 - I'm Lawrence Nevison from BBC Broadcasting. 692 00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:57,596 I'm here, I'm feeling rather well. 693 00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:04,559 - The television would be running 694 00:39:04,603 --> 00:39:09,216 and every Sunday night my parents would go out 695 00:39:09,259 --> 00:39:12,567 and my brother would be home babysitting me 696 00:39:12,611 --> 00:39:14,395 and he would put a blanket over me 697 00:39:14,439 --> 00:39:17,180 and the blanket would kinda come up to about here 698 00:39:18,181 --> 00:39:21,402 and then he'd pull my pants down 699 00:39:21,446 --> 00:39:23,970 and then he'd put my penis in his mouth. 700 00:39:25,972 --> 00:39:29,845 I have to say that obviously it was somewhat pleasurable, 701 00:39:29,889 --> 00:39:34,110 but at the same time very strange and awkward 702 00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:37,549 and then it got to a point where I didn't want him 703 00:39:37,592 --> 00:39:40,203 to do it to me anymore and he'd get angry. 704 00:39:41,683 --> 00:39:43,381 Of course, I didn't know it at the time, 705 00:39:43,424 --> 00:39:47,559 but no wonder because my brother Howard brutalized him 706 00:39:47,602 --> 00:39:50,997 and I don't know how many times raped him his entire life. 707 00:39:58,483 --> 00:40:01,529 I remember kinda looking up, wanting it to end 708 00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:04,402 and 709 00:40:06,534 --> 00:40:08,928 just feeling so dirty. 710 00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:10,625 - He called it the lollipop game. 711 00:40:12,932 --> 00:40:14,412 - Yes. 712 00:40:14,455 --> 00:40:15,891 - Sounds like they both did the same parallel things. 713 00:40:15,935 --> 00:40:17,110 - They did the same things because, yeah, 714 00:40:17,153 --> 00:40:21,593 'cause Larry was gentle, but I felt so dirty, 715 00:40:21,636 --> 00:40:23,899 so disgusting and so confused. 716 00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:27,033 - What he did was his distorted idea 717 00:40:27,076 --> 00:40:29,470 of expressing his love for me. 718 00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,255 We really had this loving relationship 719 00:40:32,299 --> 00:40:34,606 even though I was also afraid of him. 720 00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:37,913 But Howard, on the other hand, to me, 721 00:40:37,957 --> 00:40:39,480 I don't even think it was sexual. 722 00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:42,918 I think for Howard it was just an act of dominance. 723 00:40:42,962 --> 00:40:45,617 "I will make you know that I am the boss." 724 00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,534 They're older. 725 00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:51,884 Here it snows. - It's just the snow. 726 00:40:51,927 --> 00:40:53,363 - Would you please stay tuned 727 00:40:53,407 --> 00:40:55,453 if you possibly can stand it. 728 00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:57,933 I can't any longer, but I've got to be here 729 00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:58,978 'cause it's my job. 730 00:41:00,022 --> 00:41:01,415 You people, you can get up 731 00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,939 and you can change the bloody station. 732 00:41:03,983 --> 00:41:08,944 I can't, I'm stuck here with all these insane individuals 733 00:41:08,988 --> 00:41:11,512 and I've got to do this and I'm foaming at the mouth 734 00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:12,992 and I've got to compose myself. 735 00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,699 - I remember Dr. Lustig put us on speakerphone 736 00:41:24,743 --> 00:41:26,353 and dialed Dad's phone. 737 00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:32,272 Dad answered and you told him that Howard had hurt you 738 00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:34,274 and there was this long pause 739 00:41:34,317 --> 00:41:37,712 and what Dad said was, "Well, I know it's true 740 00:41:37,756 --> 00:41:40,454 "because he did it to me when I was a kid." 741 00:41:43,936 --> 00:41:48,897 That was the first time that your father made any reference 742 00:41:48,941 --> 00:41:52,074 or disclosed that he had been a victim of abuse 743 00:41:52,118 --> 00:41:54,903 or that any abuse had occurred in his family. 744 00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:58,559 In all of this, before we were married, 745 00:41:58,603 --> 00:42:01,867 the years of our marriage, therapy sessions, 746 00:42:01,910 --> 00:42:05,261 and your increasing awful trouble 747 00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:09,657 and Dr. Vogelson's theories that Dad was abusing you. 748 00:42:09,701 --> 00:42:13,313 In all of this, you becoming suicidal 749 00:42:13,356 --> 00:42:16,185 and staying that way for a significant period of time, 750 00:42:16,229 --> 00:42:20,407 Dad never shared with me that there was any history 751 00:42:20,450 --> 00:42:23,453 of any kind of sexual abuse in his family 752 00:42:23,497 --> 00:42:26,587 or that he had been abused at the hands of his brothers 753 00:42:26,631 --> 00:42:30,199 who had been frequent visitors with open arms to our home 754 00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:33,551 and who had had access to you, and I was furious. 755 00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:37,076 I was furious with him. 756 00:42:43,691 --> 00:42:44,910 - There's something on it. 757 00:42:44,953 --> 00:42:47,347 There's something on it, on the drive. 758 00:42:47,390 --> 00:42:48,870 You want caffeine or decaf? 759 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,584 You want caffeine or decaf? 760 00:43:35,177 --> 00:43:38,311 I just wanted to crawl into a deep hole 761 00:43:39,529 --> 00:43:41,531 because the guilt. 762 00:43:48,582 --> 00:43:51,367 For a while I was suicidal, 763 00:43:51,411 --> 00:43:52,238 but 764 00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:57,809 I couldn't check out 765 00:43:57,852 --> 00:44:00,942 because I love my kids too much 766 00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:02,857 and I couldn't hurt them again. 767 00:44:17,176 --> 00:44:18,873 - Larry, he confessed 768 00:44:18,917 --> 00:44:21,963 and this sort of got the balling rolling. 769 00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:24,966 That started the whole show. 770 00:44:25,010 --> 00:44:28,056 Six days later we end up tracking Stewart. 771 00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:29,928 - Like this, I have none. 772 00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:32,713 No imperfections. - You can't. 773 00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:36,717 - That's great, that's great. - Now move here, Ted. 774 00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:40,025 - Now we charged Larry early February. 775 00:44:40,068 --> 00:44:42,070 We charged Stewart the end of February. 776 00:44:42,114 --> 00:44:44,682 He had 16 counts, two felonies, two misdemeanors, 777 00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:46,292 but 16 different offenses. 778 00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:56,911 - At each moment you think you've hit this milestone 779 00:44:56,955 --> 00:44:59,479 where you think, okay, now it's just, 780 00:44:59,522 --> 00:45:01,263 we gotta run through the process, 781 00:45:01,307 --> 00:45:03,178 but soon we can get on with our lives. 782 00:45:04,092 --> 00:45:05,833 Not the way it works. 783 00:45:05,877 --> 00:45:09,663 It was this endless process of having to appear, 784 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:11,491 going into the police department. 785 00:45:11,534 --> 00:45:14,015 The children have been interviewed by Detective Ohrin, 786 00:45:14,059 --> 00:45:17,366 by third party doctors, by Children and Youth 787 00:45:17,410 --> 00:45:19,064 and by the DAs themselves, 788 00:45:19,107 --> 00:45:22,328 by various DAs in the sex crimes unit. 789 00:45:22,371 --> 00:45:27,333 What that does to the victim is throw them right back 790 00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:31,119 into the place where they were when they started. 791 00:45:36,342 --> 00:45:39,867 Larry's trial was relatively swift. 792 00:45:39,911 --> 00:45:41,434 There was the confession. 793 00:45:41,477 --> 00:45:45,568 The confession was allowed and I remember the anguish 794 00:45:45,612 --> 00:45:46,874 of Larry's wife. 795 00:45:46,918 --> 00:45:49,224 She finds herself with her husband in handcuffs 796 00:45:49,268 --> 00:45:54,273 being taken away for 17 to 22 years. 797 00:45:55,143 --> 00:45:56,754 - Let me out, let me out. 798 00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,190 I've got to get out. 799 00:45:58,233 --> 00:46:00,540 I can't get through the prison wall. 800 00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:02,020 I can't get anything to eat. 801 00:46:05,023 --> 00:46:07,373 - Stewart was scheduled to go on trial 802 00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:08,809 November of that year. 803 00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:12,073 He saw what his father had received back in July, 804 00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:14,162 and said, "Huh, I'm gonna take a plea." 805 00:46:14,206 --> 00:46:18,210 I think at that time, he admitted being abused by Larry. 806 00:46:18,253 --> 00:46:21,213 He did like a one and a half years or two years 807 00:46:21,256 --> 00:46:22,910 and he had to go to a half-way house. 808 00:46:22,954 --> 00:46:24,477 There were rules set for probation. 809 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,436 I think he violated them, I think they put him back in 810 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:28,786 for I don't know how long. 811 00:46:37,011 --> 00:46:39,840 - Child sexual abuse is the vile gift 812 00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:43,626 that keeps on giving and we know that Larry 813 00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:45,846 had received it from Howard 814 00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:49,328 and we know that Stewart had received it 815 00:46:49,371 --> 00:46:51,199 from his father Larry. 816 00:46:51,243 --> 00:46:54,986 The big question is, 817 00:46:55,029 --> 00:46:57,510 did anyone give the gift to Howard? 818 00:46:57,553 --> 00:47:00,730 Let's go, Howie. 819 00:47:00,774 --> 00:47:05,779 - It was never revealed in their household 820 00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:09,914 or certainly his younger brothers, Larry and Henry, 821 00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:11,872 knew nothing about it. 822 00:47:13,787 --> 00:47:15,180 - Can't hear the rhythm. 823 00:47:16,790 --> 00:47:18,531 That Billy goat has no milk 824 00:47:18,574 --> 00:47:20,750 and I'm on a straight account. - Go and answer the baby. 825 00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:23,841 - You know, successful conviction of Stewart, 826 00:47:23,884 --> 00:47:26,974 Howard's the only one left and Howard's just sitting there. 827 00:47:27,018 --> 00:47:28,062 Right. 828 00:47:31,283 --> 00:47:32,850 It was two years 829 00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:35,678 from the time that Larry and Stewart 830 00:47:35,722 --> 00:47:40,727 were convicted until Uncle Howard's preliminary hearing. 831 00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:43,077 Why? 832 00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:47,908 Because the nature of his abuse of Sasha is different 833 00:47:47,952 --> 00:47:50,693 than those of Larry and Stewart. 834 00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:51,956 Much more violent. 835 00:47:59,528 --> 00:48:00,965 - There was something 836 00:48:01,008 --> 00:48:03,881 about you being upstairs in the bedroom with Howard 837 00:48:03,924 --> 00:48:06,492 when everybody else was downstairs 838 00:48:06,535 --> 00:48:11,149 that just felt off to me, 839 00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:12,672 and I went up the stairs 840 00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:14,848 and I approached the door to your bedroom 841 00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:19,635 and it was closed, and I knocked on the door 842 00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,333 and I said, "Hey, what's going on? 843 00:48:21,376 --> 00:48:23,248 "How's everybody, what are you doing in there?" 844 00:48:23,291 --> 00:48:27,034 And Howard said, "Oh, we're good, we're playing. 845 00:48:27,078 --> 00:48:28,818 "We're having uncle, nephew time." 846 00:48:30,995 --> 00:48:31,821 And 847 00:48:33,475 --> 00:48:34,302 I walked away. 848 00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,785 - Why didn't you open the door? 849 00:48:38,828 --> 00:48:42,571 - Howard's voice, the tone of his voice, 850 00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:45,183 the ease with which he responded 851 00:48:47,228 --> 00:48:50,753 felt very normal to me. 852 00:48:50,797 --> 00:48:54,105 - In my room the door was closed, he laid me on the floor, 853 00:48:54,148 --> 00:48:57,195 pulled my pants down, he was on top of me 854 00:48:57,238 --> 00:48:58,761 in a push-up position. 855 00:49:02,852 --> 00:49:05,551 What he stuck up my butt was wet, it hurt. 856 00:49:05,594 --> 00:49:08,336 He was taking it up and putting it back in. 857 00:49:08,380 --> 00:49:11,296 He got off, pulled up my pants, 858 00:49:11,339 --> 00:49:14,647 pulled my pants back up, then he pulled up his pants 859 00:49:14,690 --> 00:49:17,824 and said, "Tell anyone and I'll kill you." 860 00:49:17,867 --> 00:49:18,999 You know, I really believed 861 00:49:19,043 --> 00:49:21,306 that it was only a matter of time 862 00:49:21,349 --> 00:49:25,310 before Howard would crawl through my bedroom window 863 00:49:25,353 --> 00:49:26,659 and kill me. 864 00:49:42,283 --> 00:49:46,418 - Sasha was frightened to death 865 00:49:46,461 --> 00:49:49,247 of having to face Uncle Howard 866 00:49:49,290 --> 00:49:55,166 and testify publicly that Uncle Howard had violated him. 867 00:49:55,209 --> 00:49:58,038 - If that mocking bird don't sing. 868 00:49:58,082 --> 00:49:59,561 Mama's gonna buy me a mocking bing. 869 00:49:59,605 --> 00:50:00,954 - A what? - A what? 870 00:50:01,824 --> 00:50:04,218 - What's a mocking bing? 871 00:50:04,262 --> 00:50:07,091 - A diamond ring. - A diamond ring. 872 00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,398 Sasha, don't do that shit, okay? 873 00:50:10,442 --> 00:50:13,010 Please, I have no patience for that. 874 00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:15,012 - What do you think? 875 00:50:15,055 --> 00:50:18,232 Am I too hot? - Sasha, please. 876 00:50:18,276 --> 00:50:19,712 - Am I too hot for ya? 877 00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:22,410 - Look what I made it into. - Quiet! 878 00:50:29,809 --> 00:50:30,636 Smile. 879 00:50:32,638 --> 00:50:33,465 Bekah? 880 00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,121 Come on, you're on tape. 881 00:50:37,164 --> 00:50:38,644 You're on live TV. 882 00:50:38,687 --> 00:50:40,907 - She doesn't feel like smiling right now, Sasha. 883 00:50:40,950 --> 00:50:43,214 - What happened? - She's upset. 884 00:50:43,257 --> 00:50:44,302 About what? 885 00:50:47,131 --> 00:50:49,524 You mean I did something bad? 886 00:50:52,701 --> 00:50:54,007 What are you doing? 887 00:50:54,051 --> 00:50:56,444 I was sad 'cause I didn't know 888 00:50:56,488 --> 00:50:58,794 why he was hurting me. 889 00:50:58,838 --> 00:51:01,493 I didn't know what I had done wrong, 890 00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:04,104 but I wasn't angry because I knew 891 00:51:04,148 --> 00:51:06,976 that he was just having a really hard time like I was, 892 00:51:07,020 --> 00:51:09,066 but I was dealing with it differently. 893 00:51:15,550 --> 00:51:16,899 - We were in big trouble. 894 00:51:18,597 --> 00:51:20,381 His behavior became scary. 895 00:51:20,425 --> 00:51:21,817 - Just turn off the thing! 896 00:51:28,737 --> 00:51:31,000 - He was completely unpredictable 897 00:51:31,044 --> 00:51:33,133 and completely uncontrollable. 898 00:51:33,177 --> 00:51:36,789 - So Jacqui had to stop working. 899 00:51:36,832 --> 00:51:39,705 We had to do everything to keep Sasha alive, 900 00:51:39,748 --> 00:51:41,228 not destroying himself. 901 00:51:43,056 --> 00:51:46,364 We went from being very prominent 902 00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,322 to having to close our doors. 903 00:51:48,366 --> 00:51:51,847 And then, of course, eventually it destroyed our marriage. 904 00:51:53,849 --> 00:51:57,026 The kids were primarily at Jacqui's house. 905 00:51:57,070 --> 00:51:58,376 They weren't living with me, 906 00:51:58,419 --> 00:52:00,987 but it was a very, very difficult time. 907 00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:12,868 Go, Sash. 908 00:52:14,740 --> 00:52:15,567 Go, Sasha. 909 00:52:22,487 --> 00:52:23,879 All right, Sasha! 910 00:52:26,969 --> 00:52:27,796 Yeah, Sash. 911 00:52:29,058 --> 00:52:30,669 Get up. 912 00:52:30,712 --> 00:52:33,193 Is that a face that's gonna win a game? 913 00:52:33,237 --> 00:52:34,673 - Yeah. 914 00:52:34,716 --> 00:52:36,588 This is your chance, Sasha. 915 00:52:36,631 --> 00:52:37,806 There you go. 916 00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:39,199 Everybody's name will be announced. 917 00:52:46,380 --> 00:52:47,425 - Uh-oh. 918 00:53:09,490 --> 00:53:10,883 Awesome, you're on fire tonight. 919 00:53:10,926 --> 00:53:12,450 - I'm feeling it, I'm feeling it so much. 920 00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:14,365 - It's awesome, man. - Thank you. 921 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,454 It's just so cool to play for my dad. 922 00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:24,113 You don't have to, if you don't want to. 923 00:53:24,157 --> 00:53:25,767 It's not... 924 00:53:25,811 --> 00:53:27,465 You do whatever you need to do. 925 00:53:27,508 --> 00:53:32,252 - Well, I want to because I want to really share with you 926 00:53:32,296 --> 00:53:33,340 what I felt. 927 00:53:42,697 --> 00:53:44,003 What are you gonna do, Howie? 928 00:53:44,046 --> 00:53:44,960 I called him Howie. 929 00:53:46,005 --> 00:53:47,180 What are you gonna do, Howie? 930 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,747 - How old were you, Dad? - What? 931 00:53:48,790 --> 00:53:50,009 How old were you? 932 00:53:50,052 --> 00:53:51,619 - Probably no more than six or seven. 933 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:58,104 And I'm like, I'm leaning over the tub like this naked, 934 00:53:58,147 --> 00:54:00,715 butt naked, my shirt's still on, 935 00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:03,457 and I'm like wondering does he want me to throw up 936 00:54:03,501 --> 00:54:05,981 or what is it that he wants me to do? 937 00:54:06,025 --> 00:54:09,550 It was such a searing pain. 938 00:54:09,594 --> 00:54:11,073 I literally saw stars. 939 00:54:11,117 --> 00:54:13,337 People say I saw stars because there was so much. 940 00:54:13,380 --> 00:54:16,340 I did, I saw them and I focused on the tiles 941 00:54:16,383 --> 00:54:19,299 that are still there now. 942 00:54:19,343 --> 00:54:21,823 And I prayed that that pain would leave me 943 00:54:21,867 --> 00:54:23,434 as soon as it possibly could. 944 00:54:23,477 --> 00:54:25,610 I prayed that that pain would go away. 945 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:33,400 How could you, on your watch, let this happen, again, 946 00:54:33,444 --> 00:54:34,706 to your own children? 947 00:54:34,749 --> 00:54:35,837 In your home. 948 00:54:38,623 --> 00:54:41,365 It's that question 949 00:54:41,408 --> 00:54:45,891 that's taken me a really long time to answer to myself, 950 00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:48,110 let alone explain it to someone else. 951 00:54:48,154 --> 00:54:50,112 Let alone someone giving you the opportunity 952 00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:52,201 to even answer that question 953 00:54:52,245 --> 00:54:56,162 because many times people didn't want to ask me why, 954 00:54:56,205 --> 00:54:59,948 they just looked at me and wondered, how? 955 00:54:59,992 --> 00:55:03,343 To me, what they did to me was some sort of anomaly. 956 00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:06,694 No one told me, Henry, that's child sexual abuse 957 00:55:06,738 --> 00:55:08,261 and you suffer from PTSD. 958 00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:10,437 - Did you even know what the term child sexual abuse was? 959 00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:11,699 - No, no one-- 960 00:55:11,743 --> 00:55:15,181 Look, if I knew that what they did to me 961 00:55:15,224 --> 00:55:19,359 was an indication of something that could be repeated, 962 00:55:19,403 --> 00:55:21,361 they would not have been within a mile of you guys 963 00:55:21,405 --> 00:55:22,884 and they wouldn't have been in my life. 964 00:55:26,975 --> 00:55:28,499 A year after I was born 965 00:55:28,542 --> 00:55:31,415 my father had a nearly fatal heart attack and couldn't work, 966 00:55:31,458 --> 00:55:33,939 so my mother had to go out to work 967 00:55:33,982 --> 00:55:37,551 in a sweat shop making sweaters and my father stayed home 968 00:55:37,595 --> 00:55:39,858 and he became Mr. Mom. 969 00:55:39,901 --> 00:55:43,862 So my father had a much greater influence over me 970 00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:45,603 than my mother did. 971 00:55:45,646 --> 00:55:49,607 My father was a much more giving, emotional, 972 00:55:49,650 --> 00:55:52,566 compassionate, generous person. 973 00:55:52,610 --> 00:55:55,395 My two brothers, of course, were under my mother's rule. 974 00:55:55,439 --> 00:55:57,266 My father worked a lot of hours. 975 00:55:57,310 --> 00:56:00,879 He had a grocery store and a butcher shop. 976 00:56:00,922 --> 00:56:03,403 So it was a big change when my father 977 00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:06,145 became my primary caregiver. 978 00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:12,760 I know in my heart that the reason why I turned out 979 00:56:12,804 --> 00:56:14,588 differently than both of my brothers 980 00:56:16,329 --> 00:56:17,504 was because of my father. 981 00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:24,163 My father taught me different things 982 00:56:24,206 --> 00:56:26,121 than my mother would have taught me. 983 00:56:26,165 --> 00:56:28,341 My father taught me about love. 984 00:56:56,151 --> 00:57:00,765 - Your father did his self-appointed task very well. 985 00:57:03,289 --> 00:57:05,117 He just didn't consider 986 00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,163 that he might have to protect his kids 987 00:57:08,207 --> 00:57:11,471 from a person other than himself. 988 00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:24,745 - What was the main sticking point? 989 00:57:24,789 --> 00:57:26,399 What was the main reason why we weren't ready 990 00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:28,183 to go after Howard? 991 00:57:28,227 --> 00:57:30,838 - I know there was the concern about your fear 992 00:57:30,882 --> 00:57:34,799 and your ability to stand up to that 993 00:57:34,842 --> 00:57:38,716 and our ability to get the appropriate conviction 994 00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:41,545 based upon your ability to come into court. 995 00:57:41,588 --> 00:57:43,938 I talked to your mom and what she shared with me 996 00:57:43,982 --> 00:57:46,898 was, over a number of conversations, 997 00:57:46,941 --> 00:57:48,508 you needed this to heal. 998 00:57:48,552 --> 00:57:52,164 - You and me together are still gonna see much more 999 00:57:52,207 --> 00:57:53,644 good, beautiful stuff. 1000 00:57:53,687 --> 00:57:55,210 Don't give up on me yet. 1001 00:58:01,739 --> 00:58:03,175 - We had decided to proceed. 1002 00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:05,656 In February, we had approved the arrest. 1003 00:58:05,699 --> 00:58:10,182 Detective Ohrin went to New York to arrest Howard Nevison. 1004 00:58:10,225 --> 00:58:13,664 - Went to Howard's condo about 4:30, 1005 00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:15,927 took him back to their police station. 1006 00:58:17,581 --> 00:58:21,889 He ended up calling the head DA in Manhattan at the time 1007 00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:23,195 on his cellphone. 1008 00:58:23,238 --> 00:58:24,544 His name was Morgenthau. 1009 00:58:24,588 --> 00:58:26,459 He was a prosecutor in Manhattan forever. 1010 00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:28,896 People had told me the "Law and Order" show 1011 00:58:28,940 --> 00:58:30,637 was based on him. 1012 00:58:30,681 --> 00:58:35,033 - The district attorney from Manhattan at the time, 1013 00:58:35,076 --> 00:58:39,254 Robert Morgenthau, had allowed Howard to not go through 1014 00:58:39,298 --> 00:58:41,082 the normal process for arrest. 1015 00:58:41,126 --> 00:58:43,476 So instead of bringing him back to Montgomery County, 1016 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,565 they were going to go through extradition proceedings 1017 00:58:45,609 --> 00:58:46,871 up in New York. 1018 00:58:46,914 --> 00:58:49,569 And that was really the first window that I had 1019 00:58:49,613 --> 00:58:54,574 into the kind of power that this individual held. 1020 00:58:59,100 --> 00:59:00,406 That is the powerful voice 1021 00:59:00,449 --> 00:59:01,929 of Howard Nevison. 1022 00:59:01,973 --> 00:59:04,366 Cantor Nevison is seen here helping to celebrate 1023 00:59:04,410 --> 00:59:07,587 the high holidays at the largest Reform Jewish temple 1024 00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:08,936 in the United States. 1025 00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:10,808 As a cantor, he's been a central figure 1026 00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:13,680 in the Manhattan temple leading Jewish congregants, 1027 00:59:13,724 --> 00:59:15,639 young and old, in song. 1028 00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:17,162 Nevison is accused 1029 00:59:17,205 --> 00:59:20,774 of sexually molesting a boy between 1993 and 1997 1030 00:59:20,818 --> 00:59:22,950 when the boy was only seven years old. 1031 00:59:22,994 --> 00:59:25,344 Nevison's brother Lawrence, and Lawrence's son Stewart 1032 00:59:25,387 --> 00:59:28,086 are already in jail for molesting the same child. 1033 00:59:28,129 --> 00:59:29,653 The victim's own father 1034 00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:31,611 and his Uncle Lawrence tell police 1035 00:59:31,655 --> 00:59:33,831 they were also violently sodomized 1036 00:59:33,874 --> 00:59:36,877 by Howard Nevison when they were young boys. 1037 00:59:46,408 --> 00:59:48,628 Howard Nevison posted bail and is free 1038 00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:50,456 until his preliminary hearing. 1039 00:59:56,636 --> 00:59:57,985 - What's the turning point then? 1040 00:59:58,029 --> 01:00:00,597 At what point did I decide, hey, you know what, 1041 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,599 I can do this, I can face Howard? 1042 01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:08,430 - The person who had the greatest respect 1043 01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:13,000 in the Neulinger family was your maternal great-grandfather. 1044 01:00:13,044 --> 01:00:16,656 The one who took the family out of Europe. 1045 01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:18,832 So what do you think about your great-grandson? 1046 01:00:18,876 --> 01:00:20,660 - My zayde? - Your zayde. 1047 01:00:24,708 --> 01:00:28,799 I wanted to have Joseph protect you. 1048 01:00:28,842 --> 01:00:32,193 You're able to get a skullcap of his. 1049 01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:35,153 - You mean a yarmulke? - Yarmulke. 1050 01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:38,460 So you had your zayde's yarmulke. 1051 01:00:38,504 --> 01:00:40,114 - I had already changed my name. 1052 01:00:40,158 --> 01:00:41,594 - Your name had already been changed. 1053 01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,205 - I didn't wanna share a name with my abusers anymore 1054 01:00:44,249 --> 01:00:46,120 and that's why letting go of the Nevison name 1055 01:00:46,164 --> 01:00:49,036 was so important to me. 1056 01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:53,562 You see there's no more boys to carry on the name Neulinger 1057 01:00:56,217 --> 01:01:00,004 and I'm gonna take your name. 1058 01:01:00,047 --> 01:01:04,269 My name is going to be Sasha Joseph Neulinger. 1059 01:01:06,227 --> 01:01:10,362 My dad changed it with official law. 1060 01:01:10,405 --> 01:01:11,668 That's right, he did. 1061 01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:16,498 - My name is now Sasha Joseph Neulinger. 1062 01:01:18,631 --> 01:01:21,025 - And why the Joseph? 1063 01:01:21,068 --> 01:01:22,940 - Because I love you. - Because you love me? 1064 01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:28,162 He said the Neulingers are always so loving 1065 01:01:28,206 --> 01:01:31,600 and kind and it would be an honor for him 1066 01:01:31,644 --> 01:01:34,734 to continue this name, and especially 1067 01:01:34,778 --> 01:01:36,344 that he loves you so much. 1068 01:01:36,388 --> 01:01:40,697 - It's unbelievable when you tell that to somebody. 1069 01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,829 We already filed it with the attorney. 1070 01:01:49,357 --> 01:01:55,537 - And right before you were to testify against Howard, 1071 01:01:55,581 --> 01:01:59,367 we did this prayer here in the office. 1072 01:02:00,891 --> 01:02:02,849 - Praised be thou, oh Lord our God, 1073 01:02:02,893 --> 01:02:05,460 king of the universe, who has kept us in life 1074 01:02:05,504 --> 01:02:08,028 and has sustained us and privileged us 1075 01:02:08,072 --> 01:02:10,727 to reach this season of justice. 1076 01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:12,119 - We had practiced 1077 01:02:13,904 --> 01:02:20,345 that whenever you were feeling unsure of yourself, 1078 01:02:20,388 --> 01:02:24,349 at least with regard to testifying against Howard, 1079 01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:28,048 you could put on his yarmulke. 1080 01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:36,796 And he would be able to protect you. 1081 01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:41,888 - Three years ago the district attorney's office 1082 01:02:41,932 --> 01:02:44,804 arrested and prosecuted the real perpetrators. 1083 01:02:44,848 --> 01:02:47,546 This child has put different faces and different names 1084 01:02:47,589 --> 01:02:50,244 on these kinds of allegations. 1085 01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:54,727 - They tried every which way to confuse you. 1086 01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,077 You testified for about an hour and a half, 1087 01:02:57,121 --> 01:03:00,080 and then the defense attorney, one of them said, 1088 01:03:01,299 --> 01:03:03,344 "Well, this person that abused you 1089 01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:05,782 "looked like your Uncle Howard." 1090 01:03:05,825 --> 01:03:08,393 And you said to the effect of no, that was Uncle Howard. 1091 01:03:08,436 --> 01:03:11,396 He said, "Well, the person that abused you, 1092 01:03:11,439 --> 01:03:13,311 "was he heavier than your Uncle Howard?" 1093 01:03:13,354 --> 01:03:15,139 You go, "No, that was my Uncle Howard." 1094 01:03:15,182 --> 01:03:16,880 "Well, was he skinnier?" 1095 01:03:16,923 --> 01:03:18,969 You said, "No, that was my Uncle Howard." 1096 01:03:19,012 --> 01:03:21,798 You said something along the line of, 1097 01:03:21,841 --> 01:03:24,409 look, after this went on for a few minutes, 1098 01:03:24,452 --> 01:03:28,500 "Look, if my mother gains or loses 100 pounds, 1099 01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:30,676 "I know it's my mother, all right? 1100 01:03:30,719 --> 01:03:33,418 "This is the guy that did those things to me. 1101 01:03:33,461 --> 01:03:35,159 "That's him, that's my Uncle Howard. 1102 01:03:35,202 --> 01:03:36,769 "He did those things to me." 1103 01:03:37,770 --> 01:03:40,512 Well, I'm looking at the gallery 1104 01:03:40,555 --> 01:03:44,864 and everybody, like to a man, is going, "Holy shit, man, 1105 01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:46,083 "this kid is solid." 1106 01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:47,214 It was truth. 1107 01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:51,653 - He testified I think better than anyone else could 1108 01:03:51,697 --> 01:03:53,873 about how devastating it was, how frightening 1109 01:03:53,917 --> 01:03:56,615 and unpleasant and scary it was. 1110 01:03:56,658 --> 01:03:59,923 The acts committed against him were truly disgusting 1111 01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:02,403 and have indelibly affected his life. 1112 01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:04,666 - Do you have anything to say in your own defense, sir? 1113 01:04:04,710 --> 01:04:06,799 - Anything to say, sir? - No. 1114 01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:09,715 - The judge is allowing Howard Nevison to return to New York 1115 01:04:09,758 --> 01:04:10,890 while he awaits trial. 1116 01:04:10,934 --> 01:04:13,850 He is out of jail under a $250,000 bond. 1117 01:04:13,893 --> 01:04:16,026 His next court date, June 13th. 1118 01:04:17,941 --> 01:04:23,685 - So Philadelphia Inquirer article 1119 01:04:23,729 --> 01:04:25,687 the day after the preliminary hearing. 1120 01:04:27,428 --> 01:04:28,255 It's incredible. 1121 01:04:30,736 --> 01:04:33,304 "Mid-way through his testimony 1122 01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:37,308 "he pulled out a white black-rimmed yarmulke, 1123 01:04:37,351 --> 01:04:41,312 "as if he'd forgotten it whilst sitting during services 1124 01:04:41,355 --> 01:04:44,750 "and placed it on his curly brown hair." 1125 01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:51,322 And then he continued and he hurt Uncle Howard. 1126 01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:55,369 That took two years. 1127 01:05:00,722 --> 01:05:02,028 I still have 1128 01:05:05,423 --> 01:05:06,946 my yarmulke in the drawer. 1129 01:05:13,605 --> 01:05:15,215 Incredible courage 1130 01:05:18,871 --> 01:05:20,133 from that little boy. 1131 01:05:41,285 --> 01:05:43,287 - It's my grandpa's backyard. 1132 01:05:58,693 --> 01:06:02,436 Hi, this is the day of my bar mitzvah. 1133 01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:06,658 I'm still in my pajamas, but who cares? 1134 01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:09,661 Anyway, you know. 1135 01:06:10,705 --> 01:06:12,664 Today I become a Jewish man. 1136 01:06:12,707 --> 01:06:16,494 I just, I am so happy to be surrounded 1137 01:06:16,537 --> 01:06:18,583 by people that love me. 1138 01:06:18,626 --> 01:06:21,934 I mean, it's like I have this huge wall of people 1139 01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:23,283 that I love and that love me, 1140 01:06:23,327 --> 01:06:25,938 but I'm gonna see you guys today. 1141 01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,461 Adios, see you at the bar mitzvah. 1142 01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:28,941 - Rumble. - Come on, 1143 01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:30,290 let's hear it for Sasha, come on. 1144 01:06:35,165 --> 01:06:36,557 We need you out of your seats. 1145 01:06:36,601 --> 01:06:38,603 Everybody up, come on, let's hear it for him. 1146 01:06:42,694 --> 01:06:45,262 โ™ช Be aggressive, B-E aggressive โ™ช 1147 01:06:45,305 --> 01:06:46,219 โ™ช Hit it 1148 01:06:46,263 --> 01:06:48,352 โ™ช Y'all ready for this? 1149 01:06:48,395 --> 01:06:49,918 โ™ช I like to move it, move it 1150 01:06:49,962 --> 01:06:52,008 - Come on, let's hear it for the man here. 1151 01:06:52,051 --> 01:06:53,313 โ™ช I like to move it, move it 1152 01:06:53,357 --> 01:06:55,794 - He did a great job today. 1153 01:06:55,837 --> 01:06:57,361 โ™ช I like to move it, move it 1154 01:06:57,404 --> 01:06:59,276 โ™ช I like to move it, move it 1155 01:06:59,319 --> 01:07:01,191 โ™ช I like to move it, move it 1156 01:07:01,234 --> 01:07:03,628 โ™ช Give it up 1157 01:07:06,065 --> 01:07:07,110 - How's everyone tonight? 1158 01:07:10,548 --> 01:07:12,811 I'm happy, I'm really happy. 1159 01:07:46,018 --> 01:07:49,848 My mom said that after the preliminary hearing with Howard 1160 01:07:49,891 --> 01:07:52,155 she noticed a difference in me. 1161 01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:54,113 - Of course, you won. 1162 01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:55,854 - Well, I hadn't won, 'cause he wasn't convicted 1163 01:07:55,897 --> 01:07:57,029 of anything. - It doesn't matter. 1164 01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,683 How do you mean I won? 1165 01:07:58,726 --> 01:08:02,687 - You testified about what that man did to you 1166 01:08:02,730 --> 01:08:06,647 in front of him, quite capably, 1167 01:08:06,691 --> 01:08:08,780 and whatever happened subsequent to that 1168 01:08:08,823 --> 01:08:14,568 was the responsibility of the judicial system. 1169 01:08:14,612 --> 01:08:16,222 It had nothing to do with Sasha. 1170 01:08:23,447 --> 01:08:25,710 Temple Emanu-El issued this statement today 1171 01:08:25,753 --> 01:08:27,973 saying the cantor has been a faithful servant 1172 01:08:28,016 --> 01:08:30,410 to our congregation for 23 years, 1173 01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:32,238 and never in all of that time has there been 1174 01:08:32,282 --> 01:08:35,241 any suggestion of improper behavior on his part. 1175 01:08:35,285 --> 01:08:37,330 We continue to presume Cantor Nevison 1176 01:08:37,374 --> 01:08:39,463 innocent until proven otherwise. 1177 01:08:44,772 --> 01:08:46,165 - All right, so that's 2002 though 1178 01:08:46,209 --> 01:08:48,776 and it's 2006 by the time we finally... 1179 01:08:48,820 --> 01:08:50,387 Then there's four more years. 1180 01:08:50,430 --> 01:08:52,302 - What happened? - There's four more years. 1181 01:08:52,345 --> 01:08:54,478 - Four years of your life disappeared, what happened? 1182 01:08:54,521 --> 01:08:56,610 - You came to law enforcement at a time 1183 01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:59,918 when the way that we handled cases like this 1184 01:08:59,961 --> 01:09:02,225 was that a child would be interviewed 1185 01:09:02,268 --> 01:09:03,704 by many different people. 1186 01:09:03,748 --> 01:09:06,011 So the first report comes in and there might be 1187 01:09:06,054 --> 01:09:07,317 a responding police officer 1188 01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:09,057 who has some communication with you, 1189 01:09:09,101 --> 01:09:11,495 and there might be a social worker and a detective 1190 01:09:11,538 --> 01:09:14,193 and a prosecutor and the people at the hospital 1191 01:09:14,237 --> 01:09:16,543 who you talk to, both a social worker and a nurse 1192 01:09:16,587 --> 01:09:20,199 and a doctor, and at the end of this whole process, 1193 01:09:20,243 --> 01:09:24,377 I mean, there were dozens, dozens of different statements 1194 01:09:24,421 --> 01:09:27,206 being attributed to you, some of which probably 1195 01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,208 didn't even reflect what you said to anybody 1196 01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:30,688 at a different time. 1197 01:09:30,731 --> 01:09:34,605 - Recollecting the same story for the 47,000th time 1198 01:09:34,648 --> 01:09:38,739 in this series of endless people that you have to talk to 1199 01:09:38,783 --> 01:09:41,089 and maybe the shade of the color 1200 01:09:41,133 --> 01:09:44,615 of the shirt that you were wearing that day four years ago 1201 01:09:44,658 --> 01:09:47,226 is recollected as a different shade of blue 1202 01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:49,010 and then the defense attorney's gonna jump in 1203 01:09:49,054 --> 01:09:52,666 and say, "See, this is not a viable witness." 1204 01:09:52,710 --> 01:09:55,234 - Howard's two attorneys, they filed motions, 1205 01:09:55,278 --> 01:09:57,802 since you and I spoke a lot over the years, 1206 01:09:57,845 --> 01:10:01,719 that somehow I coerced you into your statement. 1207 01:10:01,762 --> 01:10:04,983 They filed motions that you were hypnotized 1208 01:10:05,026 --> 01:10:07,420 by the psychiatrist. 1209 01:10:07,464 --> 01:10:09,422 It got to the point where playing youth hockey 1210 01:10:09,466 --> 01:10:12,208 you had a concussion so there was some motion they filed 1211 01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:15,863 that basically that because of the injury you were confused. 1212 01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:17,256 - The lawyers in this case 1213 01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:20,041 represented the defendant very zealously. 1214 01:10:21,565 --> 01:10:24,045 But what that zealous representation revealed 1215 01:10:24,089 --> 01:10:28,006 is that it was just gonna be an all-out war against you. 1216 01:10:28,049 --> 01:10:29,616 - A letter was sent out 1217 01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:31,749 to the members of the Temple Emanu-El up in New York City, 1218 01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:33,968 so they had a fundraiser for Howard 1219 01:10:34,012 --> 01:10:35,448 and they were asking the congregants 1220 01:10:35,492 --> 01:10:38,234 to provide money to his defense fund. 1221 01:10:38,277 --> 01:10:39,844 When you have two attorneys 1222 01:10:41,324 --> 01:10:43,848 that have an unlimited supply of funds, 1223 01:10:43,891 --> 01:10:45,589 they can file a lot of motions. 1224 01:10:47,112 --> 01:10:51,508 - It delayed the process over years. 1225 01:10:51,551 --> 01:10:56,077 Drew it out to a point that it was absolutely unnecessary 1226 01:10:56,121 --> 01:10:57,427 and caused additional harm. 1227 01:11:01,605 --> 01:11:04,477 - Ultimately we got through all of those motions 1228 01:11:04,521 --> 01:11:07,132 and got to the place where we were actually 1229 01:11:07,175 --> 01:11:09,003 getting ready to go to trial. 1230 01:11:09,047 --> 01:11:13,747 So there was one felony charge and four misdemeanor charges 1231 01:11:13,791 --> 01:11:17,577 against Howard Nevison and it was with that framework 1232 01:11:17,621 --> 01:11:20,276 where we had a trial date set and we were ready to go 1233 01:11:20,319 --> 01:11:22,147 that the defense attorney approached me 1234 01:11:22,190 --> 01:11:24,628 about trying to resolve it and a possible plea. 1235 01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:29,633 The most significant penalty would have come 1236 01:11:29,676 --> 01:11:31,199 from the one felony charge, 1237 01:11:31,243 --> 01:11:33,419 punishable by up to 20 years in prison. 1238 01:11:35,029 --> 01:11:38,337 The proposal that was suggested by the defense was 1239 01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:41,819 a plea to they're five different misdemeanors 1240 01:11:41,862 --> 01:11:43,342 and not to the felony. 1241 01:11:45,170 --> 01:11:46,693 They always want to plead to the misdemeanors 1242 01:11:46,737 --> 01:11:47,999 if they're gonna plea. 1243 01:11:48,042 --> 01:11:50,218 In fact, I've probably rejected it more times 1244 01:11:50,262 --> 01:11:52,090 than I can even think of as I'm sitting here. 1245 01:11:52,133 --> 01:11:53,874 - Did you do what he said you did? 1246 01:11:53,918 --> 01:11:55,136 - Speak to my lawyer. - Is he lying? 1247 01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:57,095 - But in this case, it was different. 1248 01:11:57,138 --> 01:11:59,097 For me, it was one of those decisions 1249 01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:03,144 I wanted to leave to Sasha, so that he could figure out 1250 01:12:03,188 --> 01:12:05,321 what the next step of his life was gonna be. 1251 01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:10,238 Sasha's first reaction was nope, we're gonna go to trial. 1252 01:12:10,282 --> 01:12:11,805 It's all or nothing. 1253 01:12:14,895 --> 01:12:18,551 And it was a couple days later I got a call back from Jacqui 1254 01:12:18,595 --> 01:12:21,685 saying they talked about it and they thought about it 1255 01:12:21,728 --> 01:12:24,078 and they wanted to move forward with a plea. 1256 01:12:28,692 --> 01:12:30,998 - I made the decision to accept the plea bargain 1257 01:12:31,042 --> 01:12:33,044 because I didn't want to go to trial 1258 01:12:33,087 --> 01:12:36,047 with the possibility that he'd get off completely clean, 1259 01:12:36,090 --> 01:12:39,703 completely clean and have a chance to hurt other people 1260 01:12:39,746 --> 01:12:43,620 and I also wanted to move forward with my life. 1261 01:12:44,969 --> 01:12:46,274 I remember... - The doors. 1262 01:12:46,318 --> 01:12:47,841 - These doors. 1263 01:12:47,885 --> 01:12:50,366 - So our final day in court was the sentencing hearing. 1264 01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:53,020 It was September 19th of 2006. 1265 01:12:53,064 --> 01:12:54,761 Hearing appeals could go on for years, 1266 01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:56,894 the victim's family earlier agreed to a deal 1267 01:12:56,937 --> 01:12:59,505 dropping felony charges with Nevison pleading guilty 1268 01:12:59,549 --> 01:13:00,898 to lesser misdemeanor counts. 1269 01:13:00,941 --> 01:13:02,813 For the family, that was enough. 1270 01:13:02,856 --> 01:13:05,337 But before the cantor could return to New York today, 1271 01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:08,166 the judge directed him to first take a tour 1272 01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:09,297 of the county prison. 1273 01:13:09,341 --> 01:13:10,473 The apparent reason 1274 01:13:10,516 --> 01:13:12,866 behind the unusual court ordered field trip, 1275 01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:16,827 to make clear to the 65-year-old convicted molester 1276 01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:18,655 that should he get in trouble again, 1277 01:13:18,698 --> 01:13:21,309 prison is where he will likely end up. 1278 01:13:21,353 --> 01:13:24,661 - Probation of 12 years and I'm gonna make sure 1279 01:13:24,704 --> 01:13:27,141 you get a tour of the prison before you leave today 1280 01:13:27,185 --> 01:13:29,274 to show you what it would have been like, 1281 01:13:29,317 --> 01:13:31,189 and I was like, what? 1282 01:13:31,232 --> 01:13:34,105 I felt the same like punch in the gut, 1283 01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:39,110 like this case, the abuse suffered by the children 1284 01:13:39,153 --> 01:13:41,155 by three different people, it was actually 1285 01:13:41,199 --> 01:13:42,418 on three different levels. 1286 01:13:43,897 --> 01:13:45,725 Larry's level to Sasha was here. 1287 01:13:45,769 --> 01:13:49,642 Stewart's level to Sasha and Rebekah was up here. 1288 01:13:49,686 --> 01:13:53,167 Okay, right about here. 1289 01:13:53,211 --> 01:13:56,083 Howard's abuse to Sasha was here. 1290 01:13:56,127 --> 01:14:00,392 So you're talking extreme, middle, low level 1291 01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,438 for the purposes of this. 1292 01:14:02,481 --> 01:14:05,310 The punishment dictated at the end of it 1293 01:14:06,616 --> 01:14:07,791 was just the opposite. 1294 01:14:09,357 --> 01:14:11,359 Howard got this. 1295 01:14:11,403 --> 01:14:13,144 Stewart got this 1296 01:14:13,187 --> 01:14:15,189 and Larry got this. 1297 01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:16,974 Was it fair? 1298 01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:17,975 Fuck no. 1299 01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:35,688 - This is our courtroom and you came up here 1300 01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:39,518 to this witness stand. 1301 01:14:39,562 --> 01:14:41,520 - Sasha, you've been living with this case 1302 01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:42,956 for a long time, haven't you, 1303 01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:44,741 and that's you asking me the questions. 1304 01:14:44,784 --> 01:14:46,003 - That is. 1305 01:14:46,046 --> 01:14:47,439 - Sasha, you've been living with this case 1306 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,136 for a long time, haven't you? 1307 01:14:49,180 --> 01:14:50,007 Yes. 1308 01:14:50,050 --> 01:14:51,182 How old are you today? 1309 01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:54,054 I'm 16, but I'll be 17 tomorrow. 1310 01:14:54,098 --> 01:14:57,710 As we bring this entire episode in your life to a close, 1311 01:14:57,754 --> 01:14:59,233 do you have any thoughts or words? 1312 01:14:59,277 --> 01:15:00,452 I do. 1313 01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,410 And then you said, keep your voice up. 1314 01:15:05,065 --> 01:15:06,545 There was a time in my life 1315 01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:08,329 when I didn't have trouble smiling. 1316 01:15:08,373 --> 01:15:12,246 I trusted everyone, especially my family. 1317 01:15:12,290 --> 01:15:15,293 But at the age of three, I lost my trust and happiness 1318 01:15:15,336 --> 01:15:17,904 because of one man who betrayed me. 1319 01:15:17,948 --> 01:15:20,690 I was so scared and tormented by what my Uncle Howard 1320 01:15:20,733 --> 01:15:24,171 was doing to me that I repeatedly tried to kill myself, 1321 01:15:25,433 --> 01:15:28,219 but I have so much to live for now 1322 01:15:28,262 --> 01:15:30,787 because I didn't take the easy way out. 1323 01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:33,572 I fought the beast and I won. 1324 01:15:33,616 --> 01:15:37,402 I won because I spoke when he swore he'd kill me. 1325 01:15:37,445 --> 01:15:40,753 Uncle Howard, as a cantor in the Jewish religion, 1326 01:15:40,797 --> 01:15:41,972 you should know that what you did 1327 01:15:42,015 --> 01:15:44,627 does not sit very well with God. 1328 01:15:44,670 --> 01:15:47,934 And as we approach the season of our Jewish high holidays, 1329 01:15:47,978 --> 01:15:50,328 I hope you ask God to have mercy on your soul. 1330 01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:53,592 - Is he laughing? 1331 01:15:53,636 --> 01:15:56,247 I don't think so. 1332 01:16:06,823 --> 01:16:07,867 - Oh. 1333 01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:23,579 โ™ช Nothing is hoid, but the son of a boy โ™ช 1334 01:16:27,017 --> 01:16:28,845 โ™ช La, da, da, da de 1335 01:16:28,888 --> 01:16:31,891 โ™ช La, la, la de 1336 01:16:43,468 --> 01:16:45,731 - So what do you think looking back? 1337 01:16:45,775 --> 01:16:47,559 Did you say what you wanted to say? 1338 01:16:50,214 --> 01:16:51,694 - I said what I wanted to say 1339 01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:57,047 and at the same time, I look back 1340 01:16:57,090 --> 01:17:00,659 and I still see that I was an angry person about it. 1341 01:17:00,703 --> 01:17:02,182 I was very angry 1342 01:17:02,226 --> 01:17:05,795 and revisiting this story again for the purpose 1343 01:17:05,838 --> 01:17:11,148 of making a film has been challenging at times, 1344 01:17:11,191 --> 01:17:14,760 but this is happening everywhere. 1345 01:17:14,804 --> 01:17:17,676 I really hope that children don't have to go through 1346 01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,331 what I went through, but there are a lot of children 1347 01:17:20,374 --> 01:17:21,767 that are going through that. 1348 01:17:23,377 --> 01:17:25,684 So let's stop. 1349 01:17:25,728 --> 01:17:27,164 Let's do what we can to prevent it. 1350 01:17:27,207 --> 01:17:28,687 Let's talk about it. 1351 01:17:28,731 --> 01:17:33,431 I'm motivated because I realize, 1352 01:17:33,474 --> 01:17:38,001 I realize how incredibly lucky and blessed I am 1353 01:17:38,044 --> 01:17:40,525 to have my whole life ahead of me, you know? 1354 01:17:41,613 --> 01:17:42,701 He didn't destroy it. 1355 01:17:43,746 --> 01:17:46,009 It's done, man, it's amazing. 1356 01:17:48,098 --> 01:17:49,795 It's cool to be in there all by myself 1357 01:17:49,839 --> 01:17:52,668 and just say thank you, goodbye. 1358 01:17:54,060 --> 01:17:55,061 Moving on. 1359 01:17:55,105 --> 01:17:56,062 - Good. - Feels good. 1360 01:17:56,106 --> 01:17:56,933 - All right. 1361 01:17:58,282 --> 01:18:00,501 - Let's, uh, peace out of here. 1362 01:18:00,545 --> 01:18:02,112 Can I grab something? 1363 01:18:03,287 --> 01:18:04,114 Thanks. 1364 01:18:22,654 --> 01:18:24,700 I got the camera. 1365 01:18:34,971 --> 01:18:35,928 He'll be right back? 1366 01:18:35,972 --> 01:18:38,278 Yes, he should be here. 1367 01:18:38,322 --> 01:18:40,541 - Now, what you do, save the tape. 1368 01:18:40,585 --> 01:18:42,630 Wait for, there's gonna probably be 1369 01:18:42,674 --> 01:18:45,024 a small ceremonial type thing. 1370 01:18:46,504 --> 01:18:48,767 Oh, there's more video cassettes. 1371 01:18:48,811 --> 01:18:51,335 - So in other words, you're just wasting this on? 1372 01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:52,728 You know it takes time to watch these too 1373 01:18:52,771 --> 01:18:55,034 after they're photographed, you know? 1374 01:18:57,907 --> 01:19:00,736 I'd like you to speak with an English accent. 1375 01:19:00,779 --> 01:19:02,520 I can't do that. 1376 01:19:02,563 --> 01:19:04,783 I implorably refuse. 1377 01:19:06,611 --> 01:19:08,569 Shocked, I shocked. 1378 01:19:08,613 --> 01:19:09,614 - Look at that. 1379 01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,314 - He shan't do that. - Thank you. 1380 01:19:25,151 --> 01:19:26,631 - This was taken with him 1381 01:19:27,501 --> 01:19:28,546 and there I am here. 1382 01:19:28,589 --> 01:19:30,417 He put his hands on my shoulders. 1383 01:19:30,461 --> 01:19:34,117 He said, "God has kissed your vocal chords." 1384 01:19:49,001 --> 01:19:50,568 - So this is our team room. 1385 01:19:50,611 --> 01:19:52,483 This is where the team will come and watch the interview. 1386 01:19:52,526 --> 01:19:54,964 - The interviewer, the child. - Yes. 1387 01:19:55,007 --> 01:19:56,400 - And that's the close-up. - Yes. 1388 01:19:56,443 --> 01:19:57,836 - That's the shot of where the child's sitting? 1389 01:19:57,880 --> 01:19:58,750 Yep, that's it. 1390 01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:00,317 - One person does the interview. 1391 01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:04,016 Ideally one time and everybody who has a part of that 1392 01:20:04,060 --> 01:20:05,322 can go and watch. 1393 01:20:05,365 --> 01:20:07,498 So the police can go, the prosecutors can go, 1394 01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:09,108 the social workers can go. 1395 01:20:09,152 --> 01:20:11,894 We can have medical and mental health people on site 1396 01:20:11,937 --> 01:20:15,114 and everybody that needs to know for their profession 1397 01:20:15,158 --> 01:20:17,987 what happened, can go listen and watch 1398 01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:19,510 and they don't have to re-interview 1399 01:20:19,553 --> 01:20:22,295 and re-traumatize the child over and over again. 1400 01:20:22,339 --> 01:20:24,558 The things that we do here at Mission Kids 1401 01:20:24,602 --> 01:20:27,518 came out of what you lived that we felt, 1402 01:20:27,561 --> 01:20:29,694 in this county, you shouldn't have had to live. 1403 01:20:29,737 --> 01:20:32,566 So it's better for kids now because of what you endured. 1404 01:20:42,925 --> 01:20:44,883 - The thing is every word's important, 1405 01:20:44,927 --> 01:20:47,581 every single word is important. 1406 01:20:53,718 --> 01:20:54,937 - Stop it. - Tatala darling. 1407 01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:56,460 - Tatala darling. 1408 01:20:56,503 --> 01:20:57,809 - Darling, how are you. - Darling, how have you been? 1409 01:20:57,853 --> 01:20:58,941 - It's been so long. 1410 01:21:14,608 --> 01:21:17,655 What can be done to help present day survivors 1411 01:21:17,698 --> 01:21:20,484 while working to create awareness and resources 1412 01:21:20,527 --> 01:21:23,400 to help protect future generations of children? 1413 01:21:29,754 --> 01:21:31,103 As a survivor 1414 01:21:32,713 --> 01:21:37,718 I know what a place like Dallas CAC would have done for me. 100066

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