Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:20,281
- Hello, I'm Sasha Neulinger,
the host of "Shit Diaries,"
2
00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:24,154
and today our lovely
guest will be...
3
00:00:26,374 --> 00:00:28,593
Excuse me, what are you doing?
4
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:32,728
What are you doing, Bekah?
5
00:00:54,358 --> 00:00:57,622
I don't wanna curse
to my parents.
6
00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,016
I don't wanna be
mean to my parents.
7
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,323
And I don't wanna
hate my parents.
8
00:01:07,545 --> 00:01:09,069
You know how you
have a nightmare
9
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,505
and you wish you could go back
10
00:01:10,548 --> 00:01:12,246
and change what happened
in the nightmare?
11
00:01:13,725 --> 00:01:15,205
- Look at me.
- I'm sorry
12
00:01:15,249 --> 00:01:17,077
I did something bad, okay?
13
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:21,777
In the moment, when the footage
actually was being filmed,
14
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,474
I hated life.
15
00:01:23,518 --> 00:01:26,521
I know vaguely how
I got to this place,
16
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,741
but there are pieces
that are missing.
17
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:34,355
It's a puzzle made from my life
18
00:01:34,398 --> 00:01:37,706
and I feel like I have to
put that puzzle back together
19
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:40,100
if I'm ever going
to really move on.
20
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,934
The real Sasha,
21
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:55,071
the four-year-old Sasha,
is coming back.
22
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,432
Late in my pregnancy
23
00:02:08,476 --> 00:02:10,695
I started having
a medical problem
24
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,481
so I found myself a month
earlier than expected
25
00:02:13,524 --> 00:02:15,309
in the hospital being monitored
26
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:19,226
and we came to this moment
where there was no choice,
27
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:21,141
but to have the child.
28
00:02:21,184 --> 00:02:22,968
I've called my husband
and asked him to come
29
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,187
because we're
gonna have the baby
30
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:28,496
and he's not there, and
my parents come down,
31
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,193
my sister comes in.
32
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,500
I've got family around me.
33
00:02:32,543 --> 00:02:34,502
There are people there,
but still no Henry.
34
00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:38,332
Everybody's wondering,
is Henry okay?
35
00:02:38,375 --> 00:02:41,291
Hours and hours and hours
and hours are passing
36
00:02:41,335 --> 00:02:45,861
and finally Henry
showed up, and turns out
37
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:48,080
Henry had gone to
buy a video camera.
38
00:02:50,431 --> 00:02:51,823
We're rolling.
39
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:54,217
Hi, hello,
you're making a face,
40
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,697
what's the matter?
41
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:59,831
The camera immediately
became a wall
42
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,485
between Henry and the family.
43
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:04,488
Does he
look like his mom?
44
00:03:04,532 --> 00:03:08,231
- It was something that
became intrusive to me
45
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:12,235
because it was constant
and it felt to me
46
00:03:12,279 --> 00:03:14,281
like I lost my husband.
47
00:03:14,324 --> 00:03:17,588
My husband disappeared
into this lens.
48
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,423
Jacqui, are you walking away?
49
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,338
What's the matter, honey?
Why don't you come here?
50
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,297
I would like to see you.
- She's over there.
51
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:32,212
- You know I'm
not in this video.
52
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:33,387
She's
not in this video.
53
00:03:33,430 --> 00:03:36,303
- Henry, turn it around.
54
00:03:36,346 --> 00:03:37,826
- Is it?
- Oh.
55
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:40,829
- He is laying here now.
56
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,309
- There you go.
- Very good.
57
00:03:42,352 --> 00:03:43,527
- Well this is...
- Jacqui, what's the matter?
58
00:03:43,571 --> 00:03:44,876
Nothing,
this is your time.
59
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,269
Grandpa, what
does it mean for you
60
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,532
to have a great-grandchild?
61
00:03:48,576 --> 00:03:50,534
- Heaven.
- Happy?
62
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:53,450
- That's the only way
I can express, heaven.
63
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:55,017
That's
right, that's right.
64
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:56,932
What did you feel the
first time you ever saw him,
65
00:03:56,975 --> 00:03:57,846
how did you feel?
66
00:03:58,847 --> 00:04:00,240
- I nearly fainted.
67
00:04:02,503 --> 00:04:04,722
Look at that.
68
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:05,984
It's wonderful.
69
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:10,206
This is the world's
most documented family.
70
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,773
Coming
from both sides.
71
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,473
Hello, hello.
72
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,087
Hello?
73
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,134
Then bring it.
74
00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,091
Oh I'm sorry.
75
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:27,441
Well yes and no.
76
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:36,101
โช Happy birthday to you
77
00:04:36,145 --> 00:04:38,103
- Here he is.
78
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:41,846
- Daddy, it's all
finished now, of the tape.
79
00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,718
Now, take the tape out.
80
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,763
You want no me to
take your picture anymore?
81
00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,461
- No.
- Why?
82
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,550
- I just don't want you to.
83
00:04:49,593 --> 00:04:50,986
What do
you want me to do?
84
00:04:59,037 --> 00:05:02,476
- Why do you have
all of this footage?
85
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:04,826
- Yeah, you know what, it's
just stuff I've accumulated
86
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,916
over the years
and I got into it.
87
00:05:07,959 --> 00:05:10,048
And I don't know some of the
people that are in these films
88
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:12,790
because some of them aren't
marked, but to me I felt like
89
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,183
these were people's lives.
90
00:05:14,226 --> 00:05:16,707
Somebody took the time to record
91
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:19,014
what they were in their lives.
92
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,320
Their happy moments.
93
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:21,799
That's what home movies were.
94
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,193
It wasn't, you didn't
film things that were bad.
95
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:25,716
You took out the movie camera
96
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:27,283
'cause there was a celebration,
97
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,285
because there was a trip,
because there was a party
98
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,635
and that, every time
I videotaped you guys
99
00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,508
it was all that,
except in the background
100
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:39,556
stuff was going on and now when
I look at them, I see that.
101
00:05:41,689 --> 00:05:43,778
Right here, you
want to come up and get it?
102
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:45,388
- Commercial, a little x-rated,
103
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,303
let's, mixed company, let's go.
104
00:05:56,530 --> 00:05:58,096
Henry and Larry,
105
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,098
they played off each
other really well,
106
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:03,058
but it was almost like
a performance piece.
107
00:06:03,101 --> 00:06:05,060
- We've always been
hooked as brothers.
108
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:09,804
Larry was
Sasha's godfather.
109
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:11,632
That was Henry's choice.
110
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:13,329
It was his brother.
111
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,679
I don't think that Howard
was pleased about it.
112
00:06:20,510 --> 00:06:22,469
My brother
Howard was the first born.
113
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,646
My brother Larry was
born five years later
114
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,735
and then I was born 1955.
115
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,915
There was no question in my mind
116
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,657
that my brother Howard
was my mother's favorite.
117
00:06:36,700 --> 00:06:40,617
He was this budding opera star.
118
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,706
I would go to see him in
operas and we would all go
119
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,013
and Howard would get
written up in the newspaper
120
00:06:45,056 --> 00:06:45,927
and his picture taken.
121
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,059
Wow, that voice and his demeanor
122
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,627
and his like, strength
of character on stage.
123
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,586
He was a dramatic and
he was very strong
124
00:06:52,629 --> 00:06:54,239
and he had this
deep baritone voice.
125
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,111
He was like somebody
to be reckoned with.
126
00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,872
- Henry's the first
Jewish man I ever dated.
127
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,221
My parents had always said
128
00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,571
you're gonna marry a Jewish man.
129
00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:22,920
He was living in Maine.
130
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:26,837
He was creating programming
for PBS up there.
131
00:07:28,491 --> 00:07:30,450
I was living in Philadelphia.
132
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,060
I was a graphic designer.
133
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,323
I loved
her creativity,
134
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,499
her intellectual capacity.
135
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:38,501
We could have these really
interesting discussions
136
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:39,763
about anything.
137
00:07:39,807 --> 00:07:42,679
- We moved into it
really rather fast.
138
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,295
- Let's hear it for the chef.
139
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,999
Jacqui was born on
Thursday, July 20th, 1961,
140
00:07:58,042 --> 00:08:00,567
and in the headlines,
NASA put man in space,
141
00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:03,004
commander Alan Shepard Junior
makes suborbital flight.
142
00:08:04,788 --> 00:08:06,181
What was the
time like for you then?
143
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:07,399
Was it a happy time?
144
00:08:12,143 --> 00:08:14,406
There was
just so much happening.
145
00:08:14,450 --> 00:08:16,713
We built this organic
garden in the back
146
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:18,889
and we were growing our own food
147
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,891
and I mean it was really nice.
148
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:25,287
It felt like it was just
this amazing, big playground
149
00:08:25,330 --> 00:08:27,289
where everybody could be happy.
150
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,725
We were renovating that house.
151
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:32,294
We were starting
a business successfully.
152
00:08:32,337 --> 00:08:33,991
The fabric of life,
153
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,732
there was a lot
that was beautiful.
154
00:08:35,776 --> 00:08:37,212
It was early.
155
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:41,564
Before Sasha was
born, we wanted to find a place
156
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:43,653
where there were good schools
157
00:08:43,697 --> 00:08:46,830
and some greenery around
our house, some open space.
158
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,703
In the 1800s
they had built a railroad
159
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,008
and the railroad would go out
160
00:08:51,052 --> 00:08:53,402
to what were the
Philadelphia suburbs.
161
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,709
- People wouldn't go near
this house that we saw
162
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,188
because it was
kind of overgrown
163
00:08:57,232 --> 00:08:59,800
and you looked in the window,
it hadn't been painted
164
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:02,498
or anything done in 30 years.
165
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:05,022
And Jacqui and I looked at
it and we saw through that.
166
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,372
We saw what the potential was.
167
00:09:09,853 --> 00:09:11,028
Have you heard
168
00:09:11,072 --> 00:09:13,335
about.
169
00:09:13,378 --> 00:09:14,510
Yeah.
170
00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:18,296
Suddenly
we found ourselves
171
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,342
kind of like the meeting house,
172
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,649
the meeting place
for the family.
173
00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:25,521
โช I love you
174
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:29,743
โช Words wouldn't
come in an easy way โช
175
00:09:31,788 --> 00:09:33,529
We had
this beautiful home,
176
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:35,270
and this yard, and this porch.
177
00:09:35,313 --> 00:09:36,706
It was bliss.
178
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,709
It was like, and everything
was like a fairy tale.
179
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,319
How are you?
180
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:42,886
Can you tell us
who we have there?
181
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:43,887
Who is that?
182
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,149
- Rebekah.
183
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,760
Rebekah,
and who is Rebekah?
184
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:49,066
- Rebekah.
185
00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:51,068
And who is she?
186
00:09:51,112 --> 00:09:52,069
- Rebekah Anne.
187
00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:53,244
Is it your sister?
188
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,638
- Bekah was born shortly after
189
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,032
we moved into the
house in Rosemont
190
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,862
and Sasha was really delighted.
191
00:10:01,905 --> 00:10:05,605
He was so joyful to
have a little sister.
192
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:10,392
He couldn't wait to come home
from play dates or day care
193
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:14,962
and run to find her
and run to be with her.
194
00:10:15,005 --> 00:10:18,400
โช Don't cry, don't
cry, don't cry โช
195
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:26,756
It's all gone.
196
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,149
Sasha was an
extraordinary child.
197
00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,760
He was very interactive,
he was very present.
198
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:33,589
- Yeah.
199
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,505
- We love you.
200
00:10:36,548 --> 00:10:39,116
- You love me.
- I love you very much.
201
00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,162
- And my daddy does.
- Yes he does.
202
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,772
There was a time early on,
203
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:47,211
Sasha was a very little boy,
and he said to me one morning,
204
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:50,345
he said, "Mom, I chose
you to be my mother
205
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:52,477
"because you're the person
who can help me become
206
00:10:52,521 --> 00:10:54,566
"the person that
I'm supposed to be."
207
00:10:55,829 --> 00:10:57,526
And I'm looking at
him and thinking,
208
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,441
wow, what does he mean?
209
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,704
He was a little kid.
210
00:11:01,748 --> 00:11:03,706
Then he paused and he
said, "And I had to wait
211
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:07,667
"a really long time for you
because you weren't ready."
212
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:10,147
โช Miss America
213
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:14,151
He was an
unusual child, very intense,
214
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,066
very focused and very joyful.
215
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,241
Sasha,
you're on TV now.
216
00:11:17,285 --> 00:11:20,418
- Can I see? Can I see?
217
00:11:20,462 --> 00:11:23,421
I would like to see.
218
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:24,335
Scoot back.
219
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,729
Ready?
220
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,079
Swing.
221
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,386
There was a
tremendous change in Sasha
222
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:34,519
between kindergarten
and first grade.
223
00:11:34,563 --> 00:11:36,826
In kindergarten they
called me into school
224
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:39,133
and told me that they've done
some standardized testing
225
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:43,267
and that Sasha had scored at
an extraordinary high level.
226
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:45,269
The teacher said that he
clearly was gonna need
227
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:49,012
special support because
of his incredible gifts.
228
00:11:50,666 --> 00:11:54,409
By the following year, Sasha
was increasingly struggling
229
00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:56,977
being able to read or write.
230
00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:59,501
He was quickly moved
into a support system
231
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,895
for kids that were
not keeping up.
232
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:03,766
Sasha didn't want to
go to school anymore.
233
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:09,337
He started to have episodes
where he would seem withdrawn.
234
00:12:09,380 --> 00:12:11,034
All right, let me
see your real mask now, Sasha.
235
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,209
What about your real face?
236
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:14,385
Here it comes.
237
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:20,565
- Those trains are really doing
some damage work out there
238
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,045
come from city to city.
239
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,307
Yeah, what do
you think they're doing?
240
00:12:23,351 --> 00:12:24,787
What do you think
they're carrying?
241
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,529
- I think they're carrying
lots of stuff serious.
242
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:28,399
Medicines.
243
00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:34,057
- So why, when the
first thing happened,
244
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:35,798
why didn't you come
to me and tell me?
245
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,714
Certainly you felt safe and
you felt that I loved you
246
00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:40,629
and you knew that I
would protect you.
247
00:12:40,672 --> 00:12:41,456
- I didn't.
248
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:42,936
- I mean you can see it.
249
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:47,027
- Me right there in that
moment, I had never been abused.
250
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,247
After I was abused
and I walked downstairs
251
00:12:51,379 --> 00:12:52,684
with my abuser
252
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:59,256
after it had all happened,
the first thing was
253
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,172
you offered him food
and gave him a hug.
254
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,826
But we
didn't know what he did.
255
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,307
- I didn't, I was
just a little kid.
256
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:19,276
Dad, get the video camera.
257
00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,279
What do
you think I'm doing?
258
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:26,283
He started asking for the camera
as he got older more often
259
00:13:26,327 --> 00:13:28,503
than me just showing
up with the camera.
260
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,984
He started to see
that the video camera
261
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:34,074
wasn't just something that
you recorded happy times,
262
00:13:34,117 --> 00:13:35,684
but it was a tool.
263
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,425
- And do a close action,
264
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:39,296
make it look like
I'm really far up.
265
00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,776
Climbing up
the mountain, oh my God!
266
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,431
"Dad, take the camera and
I wanna say something."
267
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,736
Come here a minute.
268
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:46,521
- Let me tell you where
I want him to be buried.
269
00:13:46,564 --> 00:13:49,132
- Tell us what we're doing.
- Look, right here.
270
00:13:49,176 --> 00:13:51,395
We're having a funeral
for my guinea pig.
271
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,745
Why can't we open it up and see?
272
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,008
I'm not gonna remember
him like that.
273
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,096
We don't
wanna open up.
274
00:13:56,139 --> 00:13:57,662
- It's my guinea pig.
275
00:13:57,706 --> 00:13:58,881
I know,
but it's not good
276
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:00,404
for you to look at him
now, okay, trust me.
277
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,884
- It's all right, dad.
- Trust me.
278
00:14:01,928 --> 00:14:03,973
- It's all right.
- It's three against one.
279
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:06,628
- Yes, Sasha.
- How about we
280
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:07,977
all shut our eyes
281
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:10,893
because I want him
to be like in there,
282
00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:14,592
not with the box 'cause he
needs to like take the plants
283
00:14:14,636 --> 00:14:16,116
and the veins up with him.
284
00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:17,900
- Yeah.
- In other words,
285
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,336
he doesn't think he
should be in a box,
286
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:20,772
he should be planted
in the earth?
287
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:22,252
- Yeah.
- And go back to the earth
288
00:14:22,296 --> 00:14:23,514
like naturally?
289
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:26,430
- Yeah, why do you wanna
bury someone in a box.
290
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:28,824
- I order you to put
him back in the earth.
291
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,043
The earth is
- The box is--
292
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:31,261
how he was made.
293
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,220
The earth, Mother Earth.
294
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,656
- A box is like
295
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:35,875
a thousand times smaller.
- I just feel like
296
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:37,180
that's really good for him.
297
00:14:37,224 --> 00:14:38,747
Tell me why,
explain that to me.
298
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:44,144
- I order him to be
buried without the box.
299
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:45,972
The freedom to be
feeling the plants.
300
00:14:46,015 --> 00:14:47,234
Here's the box.
301
00:14:47,277 --> 00:14:49,758
- Shall we take him
out and put him in?
302
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,499
He was a great guinea pig.
303
00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:58,245
Justin, son of Sasha.
304
00:14:58,288 --> 00:15:02,814
โช I can't get no satisfaction
305
00:15:02,858 --> 00:15:05,992
โช But I try, try, try
306
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:15,218
- It was across there.
307
00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,875
It was so huge
308
00:15:21,790 --> 00:15:26,447
and grown with the
leaves to the ground.
309
00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:29,058
I don't know whether
it is still alive,
310
00:15:29,102 --> 00:15:30,320
it's been a lot of years.
311
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:32,888
- Did you,
312
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,586
did you pick the tree
or did I pick it?
313
00:15:37,806 --> 00:15:40,461
- I think you went
over to play in it.
314
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,250
You were at day care
315
00:15:47,294 --> 00:15:49,296
and I came to pick you
up one day from day care
316
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:50,558
and we went home
317
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,647
and I gave you a bath
and I put you in the tub
318
00:15:52,690 --> 00:15:54,823
and you started crying the
minute you hit the water
319
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:58,479
and what you said was,
"There's swords in my penis."
320
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,785
And there was an
abrasion on your penis.
321
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:02,439
So I called the pediatrician
322
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,137
and I took you
right to the office.
323
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:05,529
You wouldn't say anything.
324
00:16:05,573 --> 00:16:08,402
All you would say was,
"Another boy pinched me."
325
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:10,621
I said to him,
326
00:16:10,665 --> 00:16:16,497
"Is there any chance
that there's an adult
327
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:20,544
that is acting
inappropriately with Sasha?"
328
00:16:20,588 --> 00:16:23,504
He said, "You don't
wanna open that door."
329
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,505
- This is the doctor saying?
330
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,028
- The doctor said to me.
331
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,335
He said, "If you open this
door and we report this,
332
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,641
"they're gonna, they're
gonna come to your house.
333
00:16:30,685 --> 00:16:32,948
"They're gonna remove your
husband from the house.
334
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,297
"This is gonna become public.
335
00:16:34,341 --> 00:16:36,082
"It's gonna be terrible
for your family.
336
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,171
"You don't wanna
open this door."
337
00:16:40,042 --> 00:16:41,087
- Is this it?
- Yeah.
338
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:47,745
It's not a willow,
but a weeping something.
339
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,573
I think it's a weeping cherry.
340
00:16:58,713 --> 00:17:00,976
- Why did we come to this tree?
341
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:06,025
- You were becoming increasingly
342
00:17:06,982 --> 00:17:08,418
dangerous to yourself.
343
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:11,378
Like, we'd be driving and
you would open the door
344
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:12,683
and try and jump out.
345
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:16,209
You were expressing
that something was awful
346
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:19,647
and you didn't want
to continue living.
347
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:22,998
So that's why we came here.
348
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:26,436
It was completely free from
any possible connection
349
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,916
to what might have happened.
350
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:31,485
I said, "You know that good
people do good things?"
351
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,008
and you said, "Yeah,"
352
00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,183
and I said, "And you know
353
00:17:34,227 --> 00:17:35,837
"that bad people
can do bad things."
354
00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:37,404
And you said, "Yeah."
355
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:40,798
and I said, "Well, sometimes
bad people do good things."
356
00:17:40,842 --> 00:17:42,235
and you kinda looked
at me and I said,
357
00:17:42,278 --> 00:17:45,716
"And sometimes good
people do bad things."
358
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,242
And you looked at me and said,
"Are you gonna kill me now?"
359
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:56,510
Okay.
360
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,125
What's your name?
361
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,692
- Hey, get to the movie!
362
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,607
But I'm not normal.
363
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:07,738
You're not normal?
364
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:09,000
- Yeah.
- Why?
365
00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,699
- Because my name
is Squeegee Luigi
366
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:12,569
'cause I go like this.
367
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:18,227
- Sasha, do you wanna go to...?
- Bekah,
368
00:18:18,271 --> 00:18:20,447
get out of the movie!
369
00:18:20,490 --> 00:18:23,102
- Do you wanna go to the dog?
370
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,148
- I'm in a movie theater.
371
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:27,454
Go get the dog.
372
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:34,548
Hey!
373
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:37,899
- Sorry.
374
00:18:37,942 --> 00:18:39,074
Sorry.
375
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,729
I'm sorry I did
something bad, okay?!
376
00:18:57,310 --> 00:18:59,050
- I can make you
a cup of espresso.
377
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,096
- Yeah, sure.
378
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:01,923
- You want espresso?
- Sure.
379
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,577
- I can even do a latte.
380
00:19:03,620 --> 00:19:06,406
- Actually I'm really
into soy lattes right now.
381
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,277
- Oh my God, really?
- Uh-huh.
382
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,497
- Well, I'm not
politically correct.
383
00:19:10,540 --> 00:19:12,020
I don't use soy.
384
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:13,021
- It's not about politics.
385
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:13,978
- I know.
- It's about
386
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,154
not wanting dairy.
387
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,459
- I have a soy latte.
388
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:17,852
- You got the judgment...
- Free range milk.
389
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:21,421
- On the soy latte people?
- No, no, no.
390
00:19:23,553 --> 00:19:24,728
If you're gonna have coffee,
391
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,252
have it with some
cream for God sakes.
392
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,169
- So how are you?
393
00:19:31,431 --> 00:19:32,649
- Well, let's see,
394
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,869
it's like this whole
revisiting all of this
395
00:19:34,912 --> 00:19:40,918
has kinda displaced me,
and it's kind of like,
396
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:43,878
it's been a struggle to keep
track of where I am today
397
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:49,275
and having to revisit the past,
so that we can talk about it...
398
00:19:49,318 --> 00:19:53,235
it's caused me some
depression and some anger.
399
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:56,020
I start to feel
like it reminds me.
400
00:19:56,064 --> 00:19:58,109
I feel like I'm slipping back.
401
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,947
When I think about my mother,
I was sort of tolerated
402
00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,474
more than loved.
403
00:20:17,128 --> 00:20:21,220
My mother was
inaccessible emotionally.
404
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:26,442
She compensated by
being very gregarious.
405
00:20:26,486 --> 00:20:28,096
- Do they know how to make love?
406
00:20:32,622 --> 00:20:33,971
โช In the army now, woo
407
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:34,972
And it rubs off.
408
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:37,236
- You know it works both ways.
409
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,020
But when there
weren't people around.
410
00:20:39,063 --> 00:20:40,543
- Are you not
talking about that?
411
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:44,286
- All I can remember is my
mother berating my father
412
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:47,724
every single day of his life.
413
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:51,946
She ridiculed him,
emasculated him,
414
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,775
and he just stood there
and took it.
415
00:20:57,125 --> 00:20:58,996
My father hated confrontation.
416
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:02,304
My mother, she avoided
anything emotional.
417
00:21:07,309 --> 00:21:11,531
'Cause I lived in an
environment of judgment and pain
418
00:21:11,574 --> 00:21:13,141
I became a very angry child
419
00:21:15,361 --> 00:21:19,930
and I manifested that way in
becoming kind of like a joker.
420
00:21:19,974 --> 00:21:22,237
Trying to make people
laugh all the time.
421
00:21:27,198 --> 00:21:28,548
Did you ever see
422
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,376
two nuts like that in your life?
423
00:21:33,553 --> 00:21:35,032
- And I think it was because
424
00:21:36,860 --> 00:21:39,776
I could make people laugh
and I could be somebody else.
425
00:21:41,648 --> 00:21:43,214
He's filming.
426
00:21:43,258 --> 00:21:45,216
Oh my. Henry, Henry.
427
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:58,186
- We're being watched by other
people across the way too.
428
00:21:58,229 --> 00:21:59,405
And just let us.
429
00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:03,278
Dad, give
me another funny face.
430
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:05,324
So I might have
to make a small adjustment
431
00:22:05,367 --> 00:22:09,893
to the drop, a touch
painful on reentry.
432
00:22:09,937 --> 00:22:12,374
Funny face.
433
00:22:12,418 --> 00:22:14,463
Take off your glasses and
let me see your eyes roll.
434
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:15,334
- Oh come on, Sasha.
435
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,814
- Finger, come on!
436
00:22:17,858 --> 00:22:18,989
Any
boast, by chance?
437
00:22:19,033 --> 00:22:21,557
- Come on, the string.
438
00:22:21,601 --> 00:22:23,342
- I don't wanna
do the string now.
439
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:25,387
I wanna watch the TV with Bekah.
440
00:22:25,431 --> 00:22:27,258
Why don't you go shoot
something that's interesting
441
00:22:27,302 --> 00:22:28,129
instead of me?
442
00:22:29,130 --> 00:22:30,784
I got a call at the office
443
00:22:30,827 --> 00:22:33,264
from a therapist he
was seeing at the time
444
00:22:33,308 --> 00:22:35,919
and Jacqui said you have to
come over here right now.
445
00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:37,573
This was important.
446
00:22:37,617 --> 00:22:39,227
I remember walking
into that office
447
00:22:39,270 --> 00:22:41,708
and he never made
contact, eye contact.
448
00:22:41,751 --> 00:22:44,188
Dr. Vogelson, I went
to shake his hand.
449
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,669
He kinda acted
like, it was weird.
450
00:22:46,713 --> 00:22:48,454
It's like wouldn't you
like look at somebody
451
00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:49,629
that comes into your office
452
00:22:49,672 --> 00:22:51,195
and at least acknowledge
they're, you know?
453
00:22:51,239 --> 00:22:52,414
So he was acting
very strange to me.
454
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:54,373
I said, okay, whatever.
455
00:22:54,416 --> 00:22:57,158
Sat down and then, of course,
he proceeded to tell me
456
00:22:57,201 --> 00:23:00,640
that you said some things
and that they implied
457
00:23:00,683 --> 00:23:03,643
that something happened to
you by someone in the family.
458
00:23:03,686 --> 00:23:04,905
- Sexually?
459
00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:06,428
- Something sexually
happened to him.
460
00:23:06,472 --> 00:23:09,170
He's been abused sexually
and you're the prime suspect
461
00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:10,432
at this time.
462
00:23:10,476 --> 00:23:11,694
He kept looking at
me very strangely.
463
00:23:11,738 --> 00:23:14,218
"I suggest that you
have an attorney.
464
00:23:14,262 --> 00:23:15,698
I suggest that you have
a lie detector test."
465
00:23:15,742 --> 00:23:17,483
It was like he--
466
00:23:17,526 --> 00:23:19,746
He says, "My job is
to protect your son"
467
00:23:19,789 --> 00:23:23,097
and he threatened to say if
they thought I was a threat
468
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:25,534
that they would have me
removed from the house.
469
00:23:25,578 --> 00:23:28,798
I was shit because I
was the prime suspect.
470
00:23:37,241 --> 00:23:38,939
- I'm a spoiled brat.
471
00:23:38,982 --> 00:23:40,593
I'm a bitch.
472
00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:43,422
I suck.
473
00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,729
I am a--
- Loser.
474
00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:47,991
- Loser.
475
00:23:48,035 --> 00:23:51,430
I remember being in my
bedroom watching the ink
476
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:55,259
kind of spill into the
fabric as I was writing.
477
00:23:55,303 --> 00:23:57,697
- And you came down into the
kitchen with those as a mask
478
00:23:57,740 --> 00:23:59,046
over your head.
479
00:23:59,089 --> 00:24:01,309
You wore this part
more like around your,
480
00:24:01,352 --> 00:24:03,877
under your mouth and this
came up over your head.
481
00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,490
Yeah, like that.
482
00:24:08,534 --> 00:24:09,970
- Oh my God.
483
00:24:10,013 --> 00:24:10,884
- Yep.
484
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:14,627
- Oh my God.
- But you were little
485
00:24:14,670 --> 00:24:16,150
and it covered your eyes then
486
00:24:16,193 --> 00:24:18,065
and I asked you to take
it off and you wouldn't
487
00:24:18,108 --> 00:24:19,240
and you got a knife
488
00:24:19,283 --> 00:24:21,721
and you were threatening
to kill yourself.
489
00:24:21,764 --> 00:24:23,810
I remember Stewart was like,
come on, dude, take it off.
490
00:24:23,853 --> 00:24:25,812
Come on, and he was
like really pushing you
491
00:24:25,855 --> 00:24:28,728
to not do this.
492
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:35,038
- My nephew Stewart,
Larry's second son,
493
00:24:35,082 --> 00:24:38,128
he was discharged
from the Air Force
494
00:24:38,172 --> 00:24:42,829
and he wanted to go back
and live with his parents.
495
00:24:42,872 --> 00:24:47,834
Well, his mom had remarried
and his step-father said,
496
00:24:47,877 --> 00:24:49,444
"No, you can't come back here.
497
00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,446
"When I was 18 I was
thrown out of the house.
498
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:53,274
"You're a man now,
you're not coming home."
499
00:24:53,317 --> 00:24:55,406
So Stewart came to live
with us for a few months
500
00:24:55,450 --> 00:24:57,104
and he helped me
around the house.
501
00:24:57,147 --> 00:24:59,498
He was very happy
to watch the kids.
502
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:02,239
- I was outside having a
softball catch for a while.
503
00:25:19,648 --> 00:25:21,084
Yeah.
504
00:25:51,854 --> 00:25:53,290
- Is that everything?
505
00:25:53,334 --> 00:25:56,119
- That, these are my
complete medical records.
506
00:25:57,120 --> 00:25:58,513
- Of our time.
507
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:02,604
- Of your treatment with me.
508
00:26:02,648 --> 00:26:05,738
- Okay.
- Or our encounters.
509
00:26:05,781 --> 00:26:08,131
- Our encounters.
510
00:26:08,175 --> 00:26:09,568
10 years of encounters.
511
00:26:10,656 --> 00:26:11,831
- When I first saw Sasha
512
00:26:14,007 --> 00:26:15,399
he was a cute little boy
513
00:26:17,663 --> 00:26:22,581
whose parents were
confused and desperate
514
00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:27,324
and the boy himself was
spewing vituperation, anger.
515
00:26:32,112 --> 00:26:35,332
Whatever the problem was
that you were having,
516
00:26:35,376 --> 00:26:38,466
it was very deep
517
00:26:41,121 --> 00:26:43,471
and you weren't saying a lot.
518
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:49,564
A child often is not
able to express in words
519
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:53,655
what sort of dysfunction
they're experiencing.
520
00:26:53,699 --> 00:26:55,657
They usually show it
in their behavior.
521
00:26:58,181 --> 00:27:03,970
It's really helpful to ask
the child to draw pictures.
522
00:27:04,013 --> 00:27:05,667
- I did not get any attention
523
00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:08,931
and there's, I don't even know
what these creatures are.
524
00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,716
They're like angry dogs maybe.
525
00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:15,503
- Anything on the back?
526
00:27:15,546 --> 00:27:17,592
- Let's see.
527
00:27:17,636 --> 00:27:20,508
This is a picture of how
I felt when I wanted to
528
00:27:20,551 --> 00:27:22,510
jump out of the window.
529
00:27:22,553 --> 00:27:25,992
So Bekah, Mom and Dad are
together and I'm alone.
530
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,124
It's not that I didn't get love,
531
00:27:28,168 --> 00:27:29,822
it's that I didn't feel lovable.
532
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:36,959
Oh!
533
00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:44,619
- We left Dr. Lustig's
place, one afternoon,
534
00:27:44,663 --> 00:27:46,577
we got into the car, you
were both in the back seat
535
00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:50,451
and Bekah started crying
and I turned around
536
00:27:50,494 --> 00:27:54,716
and she was screaming and
you were grabbing her chest
537
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,676
and I said, "Stop that,
what are you doing?"
538
00:27:57,719 --> 00:28:00,591
And you said, "I'm
doing a titty twister."
539
00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:02,724
And Bekah was hysterical
crying at that point.
540
00:28:02,768 --> 00:28:06,380
You said, "Bekah has a
private club with Stewart
541
00:28:06,423 --> 00:28:08,425
"and if I were you, I'd
wanna know what was going on
542
00:28:08,469 --> 00:28:10,601
"in that private club."
543
00:28:10,645 --> 00:28:12,691
That was all that you said,
and you didn't touch her again
544
00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:14,301
the whole way home.
545
00:28:14,344 --> 00:28:20,263
So we sit down and
I said to Bekah,
546
00:28:20,307 --> 00:28:23,310
"Sasha said that you have a
private club with Stewart."
547
00:28:23,353 --> 00:28:24,746
And she said, "Yep."
548
00:28:24,790 --> 00:28:26,879
And I said, "Okay, what
happens in the club?"
549
00:28:26,922 --> 00:28:28,489
She said, "I can't say it."
550
00:28:29,403 --> 00:28:31,013
She was so little, Sasha.
551
00:28:31,971 --> 00:28:33,624
And I said, "Could you draw it?"
552
00:28:33,668 --> 00:28:35,322
And she said, "Yep."
553
00:28:35,365 --> 00:28:37,890
So I got her a piece
of paper and a pen.
554
00:28:37,933 --> 00:28:41,676
- I was just coming
down the stairs
555
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:46,725
and I remember my brother
kind of came around the corner
556
00:28:46,768 --> 00:28:50,206
and I locked eyes with him
and I was just terrified
557
00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:52,992
and at that moment
I knew that he knew.
558
00:28:53,993 --> 00:28:55,995
No words were exchanged.
559
00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:16,755
While the abuse would happen,
it would, for the most part,
560
00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:19,061
be in his room in the attic
561
00:29:19,105 --> 00:29:22,064
and there was this
picture of a cat.
562
00:29:22,108 --> 00:29:23,762
I would just look
at this picture.
563
00:29:23,805 --> 00:29:27,635
I would feel everything
that was happening,
564
00:29:27,678 --> 00:29:32,553
him touching me, penetrating
me, making me touch him,
565
00:29:32,596 --> 00:29:36,513
but I would still just
be lost in that picture.
566
00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:40,300
I wasn't even present,
I wasn't there.
567
00:29:40,343 --> 00:29:41,692
My mind wasn't there.
568
00:29:52,051 --> 00:29:54,575
Someone turned the lights out.
569
00:29:57,883 --> 00:30:01,800
You know, it was scary
for me to draw that picture
570
00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:06,500
and tell her, but
at the same time,
571
00:30:06,543 --> 00:30:09,851
I felt like in a way
death would be better
572
00:30:09,895 --> 00:30:12,549
than having to endure that.
573
00:30:20,383 --> 00:30:22,733
I don't think I've
ever said that.
574
00:30:22,777 --> 00:30:26,346
Ever in my life,
not even to Doc.
575
00:30:26,389 --> 00:30:27,651
But it's the truth.
576
00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,452
Thank you.
577
00:30:46,757 --> 00:30:48,237
- Thank you.
578
00:31:08,518 --> 00:31:12,783
This is what I imagined
579
00:31:12,827 --> 00:31:14,655
my sister was going through.
580
00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:19,616
This is what I, these are
the images I saw in my mind.
581
00:31:23,707 --> 00:31:27,146
The only reason I felt
comfortable starting
582
00:31:27,189 --> 00:31:30,323
to even talk about what
was happening to me
583
00:31:31,890 --> 00:31:35,502
was because I felt
obligated to tell my parents
584
00:31:35,545 --> 00:31:38,374
or hint to my parents what
was happening to my sister.
585
00:31:38,418 --> 00:31:41,987
I knew that Bekah was the most
beautiful person in the world
586
00:31:42,030 --> 00:31:43,945
and if he was doing that to her,
587
00:31:43,989 --> 00:31:46,121
then maybe what he
was doing is wrong
588
00:31:46,165 --> 00:31:50,343
and also, I don't want him
to do it to her anymore.
589
00:31:50,386 --> 00:31:54,869
He had the
courage to talk to my mom
590
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,263
about what was happening.
591
00:31:57,306 --> 00:31:58,960
Not exactly what was going on,
592
00:31:59,004 --> 00:32:00,919
but kind of beat around the bush
593
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:03,443
and said you should
talk to Bekah.
594
00:32:03,486 --> 00:32:06,794
And I just remember after that,
595
00:32:08,796 --> 00:32:10,929
everything just
kind of exploded.
596
00:32:13,888 --> 00:32:16,282
In the
confines of this office,
597
00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:18,980
which he regarded as safe,
598
00:32:19,024 --> 00:32:21,635
he began to tell me
what had happened.
599
00:32:40,436 --> 00:32:41,872
- And this is it, July '98.
600
00:32:41,916 --> 00:32:43,135
This is the drawing.
601
00:32:43,178 --> 00:32:46,660
This is the drawing,
this is the drawing
602
00:32:46,703 --> 00:32:48,618
that revealed...
- Larry.
603
00:32:48,662 --> 00:32:49,793
- Larry.
604
00:32:49,837 --> 00:32:51,491
Holy shit.
605
00:33:05,635 --> 00:33:07,420
- Is that your candle?
606
00:33:11,076 --> 00:33:12,294
Cameraman, cameraman.
607
00:33:14,949 --> 00:33:16,646
Photographs events
whenever he can.
608
00:33:32,401 --> 00:33:35,361
- "If you tell, I'll kill you"
609
00:33:35,404 --> 00:33:40,366
and there's someone hanging
from a noose peeing blood,
610
00:33:40,409 --> 00:33:43,978
a woman on spikes and
a devil in flames.
611
00:33:46,633 --> 00:33:48,852
10/7/'99.
612
00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:50,419
Uncle Howie in hell.
613
00:33:51,638 --> 00:33:53,292
This drawing.
614
00:33:53,335 --> 00:33:56,034
The Thanksgiving where
Howard pinched my penis.
615
00:34:45,126 --> 00:34:48,173
I overheard
my parents yelling
616
00:34:48,216 --> 00:34:51,393
and my mom said
something along the lines
617
00:34:51,437 --> 00:34:55,441
of like, "How could you let
them come into our house?
618
00:34:55,484 --> 00:34:57,095
"Your brothers.
619
00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:58,922
"How could you let this happen?"
620
00:34:58,966 --> 00:35:02,187
And I knew that Sasha
was being abused as well
621
00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:04,276
by more people than I was.
622
00:35:04,319 --> 00:35:06,800
"How could you let
this happen" meant
623
00:35:06,843 --> 00:35:09,411
how could you let these
people into our house
624
00:35:09,455 --> 00:35:11,065
that would abuse our children?
625
00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,719
- If I could.
626
00:35:22,990 --> 00:35:25,558
We have
all this here.
627
00:35:25,601 --> 00:35:26,820
This is the introduction
628
00:35:26,863 --> 00:35:29,170
to the what's wrong
with Henry video,
629
00:35:29,214 --> 00:35:32,521
starring Henry Nevison
as him frigging self.
630
00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,480
- Myself, not not myself
631
00:35:34,523 --> 00:35:37,004
because I have to be me
if I'm gonna play my--
632
00:35:37,047 --> 00:35:39,137
Of course it's himself.
633
00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:41,748
But sometimes I'm not myself
when I'm normally myself.
634
00:35:41,791 --> 00:35:44,185
โช You're never the person
you think you're not โช
635
00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:45,752
โช I'm never the
person you know I am โช
636
00:35:45,795 --> 00:35:47,275
โช I'm not the person
who know you are โช
637
00:35:47,319 --> 00:35:50,191
โช We're always the people
we know we're not โช
638
00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:51,975
Errors be with them.
639
00:35:52,019 --> 00:35:53,673
Now, Stewart?
640
00:36:23,006 --> 00:36:25,139
Okay,
that's all we need.
641
00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,706
Okay, thank you.
642
00:36:26,749 --> 00:36:29,099
- Hi there, I'm here
to see Detective Ohrin.
643
00:36:29,143 --> 00:36:30,666
Elevator, second floor.
644
00:36:39,675 --> 00:36:41,721
Terry breaking.
645
00:36:42,548 --> 00:36:44,158
Okay.
646
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:46,073
It's not like--
647
00:36:48,249 --> 00:36:50,469
- October 29th, 1998,
648
00:36:50,512 --> 00:36:52,340
your parents came into
the police station.
649
00:36:52,384 --> 00:36:54,995
They laid out this
general timeline
650
00:36:55,038 --> 00:36:59,304
and I just sat there
like, oh boy, oh geez.
651
00:36:59,347 --> 00:37:00,653
This is gonna be a mess.
652
00:37:00,696 --> 00:37:01,610
You know?
653
00:37:01,654 --> 00:37:03,133
Realistically.
654
00:37:03,177 --> 00:37:04,526
Okay, you have all
this information.
655
00:37:04,570 --> 00:37:07,181
Now what do you do?
656
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:11,011
We have Larry, we have
Stewart and we have Howard.
657
00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:14,275
Howard was in New York City.
658
00:37:14,319 --> 00:37:15,537
That would create its
own set of problems.
659
00:37:15,581 --> 00:37:17,496
He's a cantor in
Temple Emanu-El.
660
00:37:17,539 --> 00:37:19,846
It's the largest
synagogue in the world.
661
00:37:19,889 --> 00:37:22,240
Every mover and shaker
in New York is there.
662
00:37:22,283 --> 00:37:23,937
It's a high profile place.
663
00:37:26,766 --> 00:37:28,463
The guy sang for the pope.
664
00:37:28,507 --> 00:37:32,250
He's well respected, and to
lock up somebody like that,
665
00:37:32,293 --> 00:37:34,774
you have to start getting
all your ducks in a row.
666
00:37:40,562 --> 00:37:42,782
Stewart, Stewart was MIA.
667
00:37:42,825 --> 00:37:44,305
He was somewhere, but
nobody knew where he was.
668
00:37:44,349 --> 00:37:45,263
He was around the area.
669
00:37:45,306 --> 00:37:46,176
I would get to him.
670
00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:47,917
Larry, I knew where Larry was.
671
00:37:47,961 --> 00:37:49,571
He lived about an hour away.
672
00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:52,139
So I went up to see him.
673
00:37:52,182 --> 00:37:53,445
- What are you doing?
- Who's that?
674
00:37:54,794 --> 00:37:57,144
- I'll say, who in
the world are you?
675
00:37:57,187 --> 00:37:59,146
- Just showed up cold on a whim.
676
00:37:59,189 --> 00:38:00,756
He could have slammed
the door in my face.
677
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,368
We talked to him
and confronted him
678
00:38:03,411 --> 00:38:05,718
with the issues
about abusing you
679
00:38:07,589 --> 00:38:10,375
and he was adamant
that this didn't happen.
680
00:38:10,418 --> 00:38:12,507
No, you got the wrong guy
681
00:38:12,551 --> 00:38:15,205
and he said, "Give me
a polygraph examination.
682
00:38:15,249 --> 00:38:17,425
"I wanna take a polygraph exam."
683
00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:20,036
He doesn't do too well
so we just tell him
684
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:21,734
he really didn't do
too well and it's time
685
00:38:21,777 --> 00:38:23,692
to maybe clear the air,
686
00:38:25,041 --> 00:38:26,521
and his lips started quivering
687
00:38:26,565 --> 00:38:29,611
and he basically told the truth.
688
00:38:29,655 --> 00:38:31,134
He confessed.
689
00:38:31,178 --> 00:38:33,180
It was like a burden was
lifted off his shoulders.
690
00:38:41,754 --> 00:38:42,581
- Wow.
691
00:38:52,242 --> 00:38:55,594
- I'm Lawrence Nevison
from BBC Broadcasting.
692
00:38:55,637 --> 00:38:57,596
I'm here, I'm
feeling rather well.
693
00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:04,559
- The television
would be running
694
00:39:04,603 --> 00:39:09,216
and every Sunday night
my parents would go out
695
00:39:09,259 --> 00:39:12,567
and my brother would
be home babysitting me
696
00:39:12,611 --> 00:39:14,395
and he would put
a blanket over me
697
00:39:14,439 --> 00:39:17,180
and the blanket would
kinda come up to about here
698
00:39:18,181 --> 00:39:21,402
and then he'd pull my pants down
699
00:39:21,446 --> 00:39:23,970
and then he'd put my
penis in his mouth.
700
00:39:25,972 --> 00:39:29,845
I have to say that obviously
it was somewhat pleasurable,
701
00:39:29,889 --> 00:39:34,110
but at the same time
very strange and awkward
702
00:39:34,154 --> 00:39:37,549
and then it got to a point
where I didn't want him
703
00:39:37,592 --> 00:39:40,203
to do it to me anymore
and he'd get angry.
704
00:39:41,683 --> 00:39:43,381
Of course, I didn't
know it at the time,
705
00:39:43,424 --> 00:39:47,559
but no wonder because my
brother Howard brutalized him
706
00:39:47,602 --> 00:39:50,997
and I don't know how many times
raped him his entire life.
707
00:39:58,483 --> 00:40:01,529
I remember kinda looking
up, wanting it to end
708
00:40:03,531 --> 00:40:04,402
and
709
00:40:06,534 --> 00:40:08,928
just feeling so dirty.
710
00:40:08,971 --> 00:40:10,625
- He called it
the lollipop game.
711
00:40:12,932 --> 00:40:14,412
- Yes.
712
00:40:14,455 --> 00:40:15,891
- Sounds like they both did
the same parallel things.
713
00:40:15,935 --> 00:40:17,110
- They did the same
things because, yeah,
714
00:40:17,153 --> 00:40:21,593
'cause Larry was gentle,
but I felt so dirty,
715
00:40:21,636 --> 00:40:23,899
so disgusting and so confused.
716
00:40:23,943 --> 00:40:27,033
- What he did was
his distorted idea
717
00:40:27,076 --> 00:40:29,470
of expressing his love for me.
718
00:40:29,514 --> 00:40:32,255
We really had this
loving relationship
719
00:40:32,299 --> 00:40:34,606
even though I was
also afraid of him.
720
00:40:34,649 --> 00:40:37,913
But Howard, on the
other hand, to me,
721
00:40:37,957 --> 00:40:39,480
I don't even think
it was sexual.
722
00:40:39,524 --> 00:40:42,918
I think for Howard it was
just an act of dominance.
723
00:40:42,962 --> 00:40:45,617
"I will make you know
that I am the boss."
724
00:40:48,446 --> 00:40:49,534
They're older.
725
00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:51,884
Here it snows.
- It's just the snow.
726
00:40:51,927 --> 00:40:53,363
- Would you please stay tuned
727
00:40:53,407 --> 00:40:55,453
if you possibly can stand it.
728
00:40:55,496 --> 00:40:57,933
I can't any longer,
but I've got to be here
729
00:40:57,977 --> 00:40:58,978
'cause it's my job.
730
00:41:00,022 --> 00:41:01,415
You people, you can get up
731
00:41:01,459 --> 00:41:03,939
and you can change
the bloody station.
732
00:41:03,983 --> 00:41:08,944
I can't, I'm stuck here with
all these insane individuals
733
00:41:08,988 --> 00:41:11,512
and I've got to do this
and I'm foaming at the mouth
734
00:41:11,556 --> 00:41:12,992
and I've got to compose myself.
735
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,699
- I remember Dr. Lustig
put us on speakerphone
736
00:41:24,743 --> 00:41:26,353
and dialed Dad's phone.
737
00:41:26,396 --> 00:41:32,272
Dad answered and you told
him that Howard had hurt you
738
00:41:32,315 --> 00:41:34,274
and there was this long pause
739
00:41:34,317 --> 00:41:37,712
and what Dad said was,
"Well, I know it's true
740
00:41:37,756 --> 00:41:40,454
"because he did it to
me when I was a kid."
741
00:41:43,936 --> 00:41:48,897
That was the first time that
your father made any reference
742
00:41:48,941 --> 00:41:52,074
or disclosed that he had
been a victim of abuse
743
00:41:52,118 --> 00:41:54,903
or that any abuse had
occurred in his family.
744
00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:58,559
In all of this,
before we were married,
745
00:41:58,603 --> 00:42:01,867
the years of our marriage,
therapy sessions,
746
00:42:01,910 --> 00:42:05,261
and your increasing
awful trouble
747
00:42:05,305 --> 00:42:09,657
and Dr. Vogelson's theories
that Dad was abusing you.
748
00:42:09,701 --> 00:42:13,313
In all of this,
you becoming suicidal
749
00:42:13,356 --> 00:42:16,185
and staying that way for a
significant period of time,
750
00:42:16,229 --> 00:42:20,407
Dad never shared with me
that there was any history
751
00:42:20,450 --> 00:42:23,453
of any kind of sexual
abuse in his family
752
00:42:23,497 --> 00:42:26,587
or that he had been abused
at the hands of his brothers
753
00:42:26,631 --> 00:42:30,199
who had been frequent visitors
with open arms to our home
754
00:42:30,243 --> 00:42:33,551
and who had had access to
you, and I was furious.
755
00:42:35,378 --> 00:42:37,076
I was furious with him.
756
00:42:43,691 --> 00:42:44,910
- There's something on it.
757
00:42:44,953 --> 00:42:47,347
There's something
on it, on the drive.
758
00:42:47,390 --> 00:42:48,870
You want caffeine or decaf?
759
00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:06,584
You want caffeine or decaf?
760
00:43:35,177 --> 00:43:38,311
I just wanted to
crawl into a deep hole
761
00:43:39,529 --> 00:43:41,531
because the guilt.
762
00:43:48,582 --> 00:43:51,367
For a while I was suicidal,
763
00:43:51,411 --> 00:43:52,238
but
764
00:43:54,762 --> 00:43:57,809
I couldn't check out
765
00:43:57,852 --> 00:44:00,942
because I love my kids too much
766
00:44:00,986 --> 00:44:02,857
and I couldn't hurt them again.
767
00:44:17,176 --> 00:44:18,873
- Larry, he confessed
768
00:44:18,917 --> 00:44:21,963
and this sort of got
the balling rolling.
769
00:44:22,007 --> 00:44:24,966
That started the whole show.
770
00:44:25,010 --> 00:44:28,056
Six days later we end
up tracking Stewart.
771
00:44:28,100 --> 00:44:29,928
- Like this, I have none.
772
00:44:31,146 --> 00:44:32,713
No imperfections.
- You can't.
773
00:44:34,759 --> 00:44:36,717
- That's great, that's great.
- Now move here, Ted.
774
00:44:36,761 --> 00:44:40,025
- Now we charged
Larry early February.
775
00:44:40,068 --> 00:44:42,070
We charged Stewart
the end of February.
776
00:44:42,114 --> 00:44:44,682
He had 16 counts, two
felonies, two misdemeanors,
777
00:44:44,725 --> 00:44:46,292
but 16 different offenses.
778
00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:56,911
- At each moment you think
you've hit this milestone
779
00:44:56,955 --> 00:44:59,479
where you think,
okay, now it's just,
780
00:44:59,522 --> 00:45:01,263
we gotta run
through the process,
781
00:45:01,307 --> 00:45:03,178
but soon we can get
on with our lives.
782
00:45:04,092 --> 00:45:05,833
Not the way it works.
783
00:45:05,877 --> 00:45:09,663
It was this endless process
of having to appear,
784
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:11,491
going into the
police department.
785
00:45:11,534 --> 00:45:14,015
The children have been
interviewed by Detective Ohrin,
786
00:45:14,059 --> 00:45:17,366
by third party doctors,
by Children and Youth
787
00:45:17,410 --> 00:45:19,064
and by the DAs themselves,
788
00:45:19,107 --> 00:45:22,328
by various DAs in
the sex crimes unit.
789
00:45:22,371 --> 00:45:27,333
What that does to the victim
is throw them right back
790
00:45:27,376 --> 00:45:31,119
into the place where they
were when they started.
791
00:45:36,342 --> 00:45:39,867
Larry's trial was
relatively swift.
792
00:45:39,911 --> 00:45:41,434
There was the confession.
793
00:45:41,477 --> 00:45:45,568
The confession was allowed
and I remember the anguish
794
00:45:45,612 --> 00:45:46,874
of Larry's wife.
795
00:45:46,918 --> 00:45:49,224
She finds herself with
her husband in handcuffs
796
00:45:49,268 --> 00:45:54,273
being taken away
for 17 to 22 years.
797
00:45:55,143 --> 00:45:56,754
- Let me out, let me out.
798
00:45:56,797 --> 00:45:58,190
I've got to get out.
799
00:45:58,233 --> 00:46:00,540
I can't get through
the prison wall.
800
00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:02,020
I can't get anything to eat.
801
00:46:05,023 --> 00:46:07,373
- Stewart was scheduled
to go on trial
802
00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:08,809
November of that year.
803
00:46:08,853 --> 00:46:12,073
He saw what his father
had received back in July,
804
00:46:12,117 --> 00:46:14,162
and said, "Huh, I'm
gonna take a plea."
805
00:46:14,206 --> 00:46:18,210
I think at that time, he
admitted being abused by Larry.
806
00:46:18,253 --> 00:46:21,213
He did like a one and a
half years or two years
807
00:46:21,256 --> 00:46:22,910
and he had to go to
a half-way house.
808
00:46:22,954 --> 00:46:24,477
There were rules
set for probation.
809
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,436
I think he violated them,
I think they put him back in
810
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:28,786
for I don't know how long.
811
00:46:37,011 --> 00:46:39,840
- Child sexual abuse
is the vile gift
812
00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:43,626
that keeps on giving
and we know that Larry
813
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:45,846
had received it from Howard
814
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:49,328
and we know that
Stewart had received it
815
00:46:49,371 --> 00:46:51,199
from his father Larry.
816
00:46:51,243 --> 00:46:54,986
The big question is,
817
00:46:55,029 --> 00:46:57,510
did anyone give
the gift to Howard?
818
00:46:57,553 --> 00:47:00,730
Let's go, Howie.
819
00:47:00,774 --> 00:47:05,779
- It was never revealed
in their household
820
00:47:05,823 --> 00:47:09,914
or certainly his younger
brothers, Larry and Henry,
821
00:47:10,828 --> 00:47:11,872
knew nothing about it.
822
00:47:13,787 --> 00:47:15,180
- Can't hear the rhythm.
823
00:47:16,790 --> 00:47:18,531
That Billy
goat has no milk
824
00:47:18,574 --> 00:47:20,750
and I'm on a straight account.
- Go and answer the baby.
825
00:47:22,100 --> 00:47:23,841
- You know, successful
conviction of Stewart,
826
00:47:23,884 --> 00:47:26,974
Howard's the only one left and
Howard's just sitting there.
827
00:47:27,018 --> 00:47:28,062
Right.
828
00:47:31,283 --> 00:47:32,850
It was two years
829
00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:35,678
from the time that
Larry and Stewart
830
00:47:35,722 --> 00:47:40,727
were convicted until Uncle
Howard's preliminary hearing.
831
00:47:41,641 --> 00:47:43,077
Why?
832
00:47:43,121 --> 00:47:47,908
Because the nature of his
abuse of Sasha is different
833
00:47:47,952 --> 00:47:50,693
than those of Larry and Stewart.
834
00:47:50,737 --> 00:47:51,956
Much more violent.
835
00:47:59,528 --> 00:48:00,965
- There was something
836
00:48:01,008 --> 00:48:03,881
about you being upstairs
in the bedroom with Howard
837
00:48:03,924 --> 00:48:06,492
when everybody else
was downstairs
838
00:48:06,535 --> 00:48:11,149
that just felt off to me,
839
00:48:11,192 --> 00:48:12,672
and I went up the stairs
840
00:48:12,715 --> 00:48:14,848
and I approached the
door to your bedroom
841
00:48:14,892 --> 00:48:19,635
and it was closed, and
I knocked on the door
842
00:48:19,679 --> 00:48:21,333
and I said, "Hey,
what's going on?
843
00:48:21,376 --> 00:48:23,248
"How's everybody, what
are you doing in there?"
844
00:48:23,291 --> 00:48:27,034
And Howard said, "Oh,
we're good, we're playing.
845
00:48:27,078 --> 00:48:28,818
"We're having
uncle, nephew time."
846
00:48:30,995 --> 00:48:31,821
And
847
00:48:33,475 --> 00:48:34,302
I walked away.
848
00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,785
- Why didn't you open the door?
849
00:48:38,828 --> 00:48:42,571
- Howard's voice,
the tone of his voice,
850
00:48:42,615 --> 00:48:45,183
the ease with which he responded
851
00:48:47,228 --> 00:48:50,753
felt very normal to me.
852
00:48:50,797 --> 00:48:54,105
- In my room the door was
closed, he laid me on the floor,
853
00:48:54,148 --> 00:48:57,195
pulled my pants down,
he was on top of me
854
00:48:57,238 --> 00:48:58,761
in a push-up position.
855
00:49:02,852 --> 00:49:05,551
What he stuck up my
butt was wet, it hurt.
856
00:49:05,594 --> 00:49:08,336
He was taking it up
and putting it back in.
857
00:49:08,380 --> 00:49:11,296
He got off, pulled up my pants,
858
00:49:11,339 --> 00:49:14,647
pulled my pants back up,
then he pulled up his pants
859
00:49:14,690 --> 00:49:17,824
and said, "Tell anyone
and I'll kill you."
860
00:49:17,867 --> 00:49:18,999
You know,
I really believed
861
00:49:19,043 --> 00:49:21,306
that it was only
a matter of time
862
00:49:21,349 --> 00:49:25,310
before Howard would crawl
through my bedroom window
863
00:49:25,353 --> 00:49:26,659
and kill me.
864
00:49:42,283 --> 00:49:46,418
- Sasha was frightened to death
865
00:49:46,461 --> 00:49:49,247
of having to face Uncle Howard
866
00:49:49,290 --> 00:49:55,166
and testify publicly that
Uncle Howard had violated him.
867
00:49:55,209 --> 00:49:58,038
- If that mocking
bird don't sing.
868
00:49:58,082 --> 00:49:59,561
Mama's gonna buy
me a mocking bing.
869
00:49:59,605 --> 00:50:00,954
- A what?
- A what?
870
00:50:01,824 --> 00:50:04,218
- What's a mocking bing?
871
00:50:04,262 --> 00:50:07,091
- A diamond ring.
- A diamond ring.
872
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,398
Sasha, don't
do that shit, okay?
873
00:50:10,442 --> 00:50:13,010
Please, I have no
patience for that.
874
00:50:13,053 --> 00:50:15,012
- What do you think?
875
00:50:15,055 --> 00:50:18,232
Am I too hot?
- Sasha, please.
876
00:50:18,276 --> 00:50:19,712
- Am I too hot for ya?
877
00:50:19,755 --> 00:50:22,410
- Look what I made it into.
- Quiet!
878
00:50:29,809 --> 00:50:30,636
Smile.
879
00:50:32,638 --> 00:50:33,465
Bekah?
880
00:50:35,032 --> 00:50:37,121
Come on, you're on tape.
881
00:50:37,164 --> 00:50:38,644
You're on live TV.
882
00:50:38,687 --> 00:50:40,907
- She doesn't feel like
smiling right now, Sasha.
883
00:50:40,950 --> 00:50:43,214
- What happened?
- She's upset.
884
00:50:43,257 --> 00:50:44,302
About what?
885
00:50:47,131 --> 00:50:49,524
You mean I did something bad?
886
00:50:52,701 --> 00:50:54,007
What are you doing?
887
00:50:54,051 --> 00:50:56,444
I was sad
'cause I didn't know
888
00:50:56,488 --> 00:50:58,794
why he was hurting me.
889
00:50:58,838 --> 00:51:01,493
I didn't know what
I had done wrong,
890
00:51:01,536 --> 00:51:04,104
but I wasn't angry
because I knew
891
00:51:04,148 --> 00:51:06,976
that he was just having a
really hard time like I was,
892
00:51:07,020 --> 00:51:09,066
but I was dealing
with it differently.
893
00:51:15,550 --> 00:51:16,899
- We were in big trouble.
894
00:51:18,597 --> 00:51:20,381
His behavior became scary.
895
00:51:20,425 --> 00:51:21,817
- Just turn off the thing!
896
00:51:28,737 --> 00:51:31,000
- He was completely
unpredictable
897
00:51:31,044 --> 00:51:33,133
and completely uncontrollable.
898
00:51:33,177 --> 00:51:36,789
- So Jacqui had to stop working.
899
00:51:36,832 --> 00:51:39,705
We had to do everything
to keep Sasha alive,
900
00:51:39,748 --> 00:51:41,228
not destroying himself.
901
00:51:43,056 --> 00:51:46,364
We went from being
very prominent
902
00:51:46,407 --> 00:51:48,322
to having to close our doors.
903
00:51:48,366 --> 00:51:51,847
And then, of course, eventually
it destroyed our marriage.
904
00:51:53,849 --> 00:51:57,026
The kids were primarily
at Jacqui's house.
905
00:51:57,070 --> 00:51:58,376
They weren't living with me,
906
00:51:58,419 --> 00:52:00,987
but it was a very,
very difficult time.
907
00:52:12,041 --> 00:52:12,868
Go, Sash.
908
00:52:14,740 --> 00:52:15,567
Go, Sasha.
909
00:52:22,487 --> 00:52:23,879
All right, Sasha!
910
00:52:26,969 --> 00:52:27,796
Yeah, Sash.
911
00:52:29,058 --> 00:52:30,669
Get up.
912
00:52:30,712 --> 00:52:33,193
Is that a face
that's gonna win a game?
913
00:52:33,237 --> 00:52:34,673
- Yeah.
914
00:52:34,716 --> 00:52:36,588
This is
your chance, Sasha.
915
00:52:36,631 --> 00:52:37,806
There you go.
916
00:52:37,850 --> 00:52:39,199
Everybody's
name will be announced.
917
00:52:46,380 --> 00:52:47,425
- Uh-oh.
918
00:53:09,490 --> 00:53:10,883
Awesome,
you're on fire tonight.
919
00:53:10,926 --> 00:53:12,450
- I'm feeling it, I'm
feeling it so much.
920
00:53:12,493 --> 00:53:14,365
- It's awesome, man.
- Thank you.
921
00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:16,454
It's just so cool
to play for my dad.
922
00:53:22,199 --> 00:53:24,113
You don't have to,
if you don't want to.
923
00:53:24,157 --> 00:53:25,767
It's not...
924
00:53:25,811 --> 00:53:27,465
You do whatever you need to do.
925
00:53:27,508 --> 00:53:32,252
- Well, I want to because I
want to really share with you
926
00:53:32,296 --> 00:53:33,340
what I felt.
927
00:53:42,697 --> 00:53:44,003
What are you gonna do, Howie?
928
00:53:44,046 --> 00:53:44,960
I called him Howie.
929
00:53:46,005 --> 00:53:47,180
What are you gonna do, Howie?
930
00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:48,747
- How old were you, Dad?
- What?
931
00:53:48,790 --> 00:53:50,009
How old were you?
932
00:53:50,052 --> 00:53:51,619
- Probably no more
than six or seven.
933
00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:58,104
And I'm like, I'm leaning
over the tub like this naked,
934
00:53:58,147 --> 00:54:00,715
butt naked, my shirt's still on,
935
00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:03,457
and I'm like wondering
does he want me to throw up
936
00:54:03,501 --> 00:54:05,981
or what is it that
he wants me to do?
937
00:54:06,025 --> 00:54:09,550
It was such a searing pain.
938
00:54:09,594 --> 00:54:11,073
I literally saw stars.
939
00:54:11,117 --> 00:54:13,337
People say I saw stars
because there was so much.
940
00:54:13,380 --> 00:54:16,340
I did, I saw them and
I focused on the tiles
941
00:54:16,383 --> 00:54:19,299
that are still there now.
942
00:54:19,343 --> 00:54:21,823
And I prayed that that
pain would leave me
943
00:54:21,867 --> 00:54:23,434
as soon as it possibly could.
944
00:54:23,477 --> 00:54:25,610
I prayed that that
pain would go away.
945
00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:33,400
How could you, on your watch,
let this happen, again,
946
00:54:33,444 --> 00:54:34,706
to your own children?
947
00:54:34,749 --> 00:54:35,837
In your home.
948
00:54:38,623 --> 00:54:41,365
It's that question
949
00:54:41,408 --> 00:54:45,891
that's taken me a really
long time to answer to myself,
950
00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:48,110
let alone explain
it to someone else.
951
00:54:48,154 --> 00:54:50,112
Let alone someone giving
you the opportunity
952
00:54:50,156 --> 00:54:52,201
to even answer that question
953
00:54:52,245 --> 00:54:56,162
because many times people
didn't want to ask me why,
954
00:54:56,205 --> 00:54:59,948
they just looked at
me and wondered, how?
955
00:54:59,992 --> 00:55:03,343
To me, what they did to me
was some sort of anomaly.
956
00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:06,694
No one told me, Henry,
that's child sexual abuse
957
00:55:06,738 --> 00:55:08,261
and you suffer from PTSD.
958
00:55:08,305 --> 00:55:10,437
- Did you even know what the
term child sexual abuse was?
959
00:55:10,481 --> 00:55:11,699
- No, no one--
960
00:55:11,743 --> 00:55:15,181
Look, if I knew that
what they did to me
961
00:55:15,224 --> 00:55:19,359
was an indication of something
that could be repeated,
962
00:55:19,403 --> 00:55:21,361
they would not have been
within a mile of you guys
963
00:55:21,405 --> 00:55:22,884
and they wouldn't
have been in my life.
964
00:55:26,975 --> 00:55:28,499
A year after I was born
965
00:55:28,542 --> 00:55:31,415
my father had a nearly fatal
heart attack and couldn't work,
966
00:55:31,458 --> 00:55:33,939
so my mother had
to go out to work
967
00:55:33,982 --> 00:55:37,551
in a sweat shop making sweaters
and my father stayed home
968
00:55:37,595 --> 00:55:39,858
and he became Mr. Mom.
969
00:55:39,901 --> 00:55:43,862
So my father had a much
greater influence over me
970
00:55:43,905 --> 00:55:45,603
than my mother did.
971
00:55:45,646 --> 00:55:49,607
My father was a much
more giving, emotional,
972
00:55:49,650 --> 00:55:52,566
compassionate, generous person.
973
00:55:52,610 --> 00:55:55,395
My two brothers, of course,
were under my mother's rule.
974
00:55:55,439 --> 00:55:57,266
My father worked a lot of hours.
975
00:55:57,310 --> 00:56:00,879
He had a grocery store
and a butcher shop.
976
00:56:00,922 --> 00:56:03,403
So it was a big
change when my father
977
00:56:03,447 --> 00:56:06,145
became my primary caregiver.
978
00:56:09,627 --> 00:56:12,760
I know in my heart that
the reason why I turned out
979
00:56:12,804 --> 00:56:14,588
differently than
both of my brothers
980
00:56:16,329 --> 00:56:17,504
was because of my father.
981
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:24,163
My father taught me
different things
982
00:56:24,206 --> 00:56:26,121
than my mother would
have taught me.
983
00:56:26,165 --> 00:56:28,341
My father taught me about love.
984
00:56:56,151 --> 00:57:00,765
- Your father did his
self-appointed task very well.
985
00:57:03,289 --> 00:57:05,117
He just didn't consider
986
00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:08,163
that he might have
to protect his kids
987
00:57:08,207 --> 00:57:11,471
from a person
other than himself.
988
00:57:23,483 --> 00:57:24,745
- What was the main
sticking point?
989
00:57:24,789 --> 00:57:26,399
What was the main reason
why we weren't ready
990
00:57:26,443 --> 00:57:28,183
to go after Howard?
991
00:57:28,227 --> 00:57:30,838
- I know there was the
concern about your fear
992
00:57:30,882 --> 00:57:34,799
and your ability
to stand up to that
993
00:57:34,842 --> 00:57:38,716
and our ability to get
the appropriate conviction
994
00:57:38,759 --> 00:57:41,545
based upon your ability
to come into court.
995
00:57:41,588 --> 00:57:43,938
I talked to your mom and
what she shared with me
996
00:57:43,982 --> 00:57:46,898
was, over a number
of conversations,
997
00:57:46,941 --> 00:57:48,508
you needed this to heal.
998
00:57:48,552 --> 00:57:52,164
- You and me together are
still gonna see much more
999
00:57:52,207 --> 00:57:53,644
good, beautiful stuff.
1000
00:57:53,687 --> 00:57:55,210
Don't give up on me yet.
1001
00:58:01,739 --> 00:58:03,175
- We had decided to proceed.
1002
00:58:03,218 --> 00:58:05,656
In February, we had
approved the arrest.
1003
00:58:05,699 --> 00:58:10,182
Detective Ohrin went to New York
to arrest Howard Nevison.
1004
00:58:10,225 --> 00:58:13,664
- Went to Howard's
condo about 4:30,
1005
00:58:13,707 --> 00:58:15,927
took him back to
their police station.
1006
00:58:17,581 --> 00:58:21,889
He ended up calling the head
DA in Manhattan at the time
1007
00:58:21,933 --> 00:58:23,195
on his cellphone.
1008
00:58:23,238 --> 00:58:24,544
His name was Morgenthau.
1009
00:58:24,588 --> 00:58:26,459
He was a prosecutor
in Manhattan forever.
1010
00:58:26,503 --> 00:58:28,896
People had told me the
"Law and Order" show
1011
00:58:28,940 --> 00:58:30,637
was based on him.
1012
00:58:30,681 --> 00:58:35,033
- The district attorney
from Manhattan at the time,
1013
00:58:35,076 --> 00:58:39,254
Robert Morgenthau, had allowed
Howard to not go through
1014
00:58:39,298 --> 00:58:41,082
the normal process for arrest.
1015
00:58:41,126 --> 00:58:43,476
So instead of bringing him
back to Montgomery County,
1016
00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:45,565
they were going to go through
extradition proceedings
1017
00:58:45,609 --> 00:58:46,871
up in New York.
1018
00:58:46,914 --> 00:58:49,569
And that was really the
first window that I had
1019
00:58:49,613 --> 00:58:54,574
into the kind of power
that this individual held.
1020
00:58:59,100 --> 00:59:00,406
That is the powerful voice
1021
00:59:00,449 --> 00:59:01,929
of Howard Nevison.
1022
00:59:01,973 --> 00:59:04,366
Cantor Nevison is seen
here helping to celebrate
1023
00:59:04,410 --> 00:59:07,587
the high holidays at the
largest Reform Jewish temple
1024
00:59:07,631 --> 00:59:08,936
in the United States.
1025
00:59:08,980 --> 00:59:10,808
As a cantor, he's
been a central figure
1026
00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:13,680
in the Manhattan temple
leading Jewish congregants,
1027
00:59:13,724 --> 00:59:15,639
young and old, in song.
1028
00:59:15,682 --> 00:59:17,162
Nevison is accused
1029
00:59:17,205 --> 00:59:20,774
of sexually molesting a
boy between 1993 and 1997
1030
00:59:20,818 --> 00:59:22,950
when the boy was
only seven years old.
1031
00:59:22,994 --> 00:59:25,344
Nevison's brother Lawrence,
and Lawrence's son Stewart
1032
00:59:25,387 --> 00:59:28,086
are already in jail for
molesting the same child.
1033
00:59:28,129 --> 00:59:29,653
The victim's own father
1034
00:59:29,696 --> 00:59:31,611
and his Uncle
Lawrence tell police
1035
00:59:31,655 --> 00:59:33,831
they were also
violently sodomized
1036
00:59:33,874 --> 00:59:36,877
by Howard Nevison when
they were young boys.
1037
00:59:46,408 --> 00:59:48,628
Howard
Nevison posted bail and is free
1038
00:59:48,672 --> 00:59:50,456
until his preliminary hearing.
1039
00:59:56,636 --> 00:59:57,985
- What's the turning point then?
1040
00:59:58,029 --> 01:00:00,597
At what point did I decide,
hey, you know what,
1041
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:02,599
I can do this, I
can face Howard?
1042
01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:08,430
- The person who had
the greatest respect
1043
01:00:08,474 --> 01:00:13,000
in the Neulinger family was
your maternal great-grandfather.
1044
01:00:13,044 --> 01:00:16,656
The one who took the
family out of Europe.
1045
01:00:16,700 --> 01:00:18,832
So what do you think
about your great-grandson?
1046
01:00:18,876 --> 01:00:20,660
- My zayde?
- Your zayde.
1047
01:00:24,708 --> 01:00:28,799
I wanted to have
Joseph protect you.
1048
01:00:28,842 --> 01:00:32,193
You're able to get
a skullcap of his.
1049
01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:35,153
- You mean a yarmulke?
- Yarmulke.
1050
01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:38,460
So you had your
zayde's yarmulke.
1051
01:00:38,504 --> 01:00:40,114
- I had already changed my name.
1052
01:00:40,158 --> 01:00:41,594
- Your name had
already been changed.
1053
01:00:41,638 --> 01:00:44,205
- I didn't wanna share a
name with my abusers anymore
1054
01:00:44,249 --> 01:00:46,120
and that's why letting
go of the Nevison name
1055
01:00:46,164 --> 01:00:49,036
was so important to me.
1056
01:00:49,080 --> 01:00:53,562
You see there's no more boys
to carry on the name Neulinger
1057
01:00:56,217 --> 01:01:00,004
and I'm gonna take your name.
1058
01:01:00,047 --> 01:01:04,269
My name is going to be
Sasha Joseph Neulinger.
1059
01:01:06,227 --> 01:01:10,362
My dad changed it
with official law.
1060
01:01:10,405 --> 01:01:11,668
That's right, he did.
1061
01:01:11,711 --> 01:01:16,498
- My name is now
Sasha Joseph Neulinger.
1062
01:01:18,631 --> 01:01:21,025
- And why the Joseph?
1063
01:01:21,068 --> 01:01:22,940
- Because I love you.
- Because you love me?
1064
01:01:24,681 --> 01:01:28,162
He said the
Neulingers are always so loving
1065
01:01:28,206 --> 01:01:31,600
and kind and it would
be an honor for him
1066
01:01:31,644 --> 01:01:34,734
to continue this
name, and especially
1067
01:01:34,778 --> 01:01:36,344
that he loves you so much.
1068
01:01:36,388 --> 01:01:40,697
- It's unbelievable when
you tell that to somebody.
1069
01:01:40,740 --> 01:01:42,829
We already
filed it with the attorney.
1070
01:01:49,357 --> 01:01:55,537
- And right before you were
to testify against Howard,
1071
01:01:55,581 --> 01:01:59,367
we did this prayer
here in the office.
1072
01:02:00,891 --> 01:02:02,849
- Praised be thou,
oh Lord our God,
1073
01:02:02,893 --> 01:02:05,460
king of the universe,
who has kept us in life
1074
01:02:05,504 --> 01:02:08,028
and has sustained us
and privileged us
1075
01:02:08,072 --> 01:02:10,727
to reach this season of justice.
1076
01:02:10,770 --> 01:02:12,119
- We had practiced
1077
01:02:13,904 --> 01:02:20,345
that whenever you were
feeling unsure of yourself,
1078
01:02:20,388 --> 01:02:24,349
at least with regard to
testifying against Howard,
1079
01:02:25,872 --> 01:02:28,048
you could put on his yarmulke.
1080
01:02:31,835 --> 01:02:36,796
And he would be
able to protect you.
1081
01:02:38,842 --> 01:02:41,888
- Three years ago the
district attorney's office
1082
01:02:41,932 --> 01:02:44,804
arrested and prosecuted
the real perpetrators.
1083
01:02:44,848 --> 01:02:47,546
This child has put different
faces and different names
1084
01:02:47,589 --> 01:02:50,244
on these kinds of allegations.
1085
01:02:50,288 --> 01:02:54,727
- They tried every which
way to confuse you.
1086
01:02:54,771 --> 01:02:57,077
You testified for about
an hour and a half,
1087
01:02:57,121 --> 01:03:00,080
and then the defense
attorney, one of them said,
1088
01:03:01,299 --> 01:03:03,344
"Well, this person
that abused you
1089
01:03:03,388 --> 01:03:05,782
"looked like your Uncle Howard."
1090
01:03:05,825 --> 01:03:08,393
And you said to the effect
of no, that was Uncle Howard.
1091
01:03:08,436 --> 01:03:11,396
He said, "Well, the
person that abused you,
1092
01:03:11,439 --> 01:03:13,311
"was he heavier than
your Uncle Howard?"
1093
01:03:13,354 --> 01:03:15,139
You go, "No, that
was my Uncle Howard."
1094
01:03:15,182 --> 01:03:16,880
"Well, was he skinnier?"
1095
01:03:16,923 --> 01:03:18,969
You said, "No, that
was my Uncle Howard."
1096
01:03:19,012 --> 01:03:21,798
You said something
along the line of,
1097
01:03:21,841 --> 01:03:24,409
look, after this went
on for a few minutes,
1098
01:03:24,452 --> 01:03:28,500
"Look, if my mother gains
or loses 100 pounds,
1099
01:03:28,543 --> 01:03:30,676
"I know it's my
mother, all right?
1100
01:03:30,719 --> 01:03:33,418
"This is the guy that
did those things to me.
1101
01:03:33,461 --> 01:03:35,159
"That's him, that's
my Uncle Howard.
1102
01:03:35,202 --> 01:03:36,769
"He did those things to me."
1103
01:03:37,770 --> 01:03:40,512
Well, I'm looking at the gallery
1104
01:03:40,555 --> 01:03:44,864
and everybody, like to a man,
is going, "Holy shit, man,
1105
01:03:44,908 --> 01:03:46,083
"this kid is solid."
1106
01:03:46,126 --> 01:03:47,214
It was truth.
1107
01:03:48,912 --> 01:03:51,653
- He testified I think
better than anyone else could
1108
01:03:51,697 --> 01:03:53,873
about how devastating
it was, how frightening
1109
01:03:53,917 --> 01:03:56,615
and unpleasant and scary it was.
1110
01:03:56,658 --> 01:03:59,923
The acts committed against
him were truly disgusting
1111
01:03:59,966 --> 01:04:02,403
and have indelibly
affected his life.
1112
01:04:02,447 --> 01:04:04,666
- Do you have anything to
say in your own defense, sir?
1113
01:04:04,710 --> 01:04:06,799
- Anything to say, sir?
- No.
1114
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:09,715
- The judge is allowing Howard
Nevison to return to New York
1115
01:04:09,758 --> 01:04:10,890
while he awaits trial.
1116
01:04:10,934 --> 01:04:13,850
He is out of jail
under a $250,000 bond.
1117
01:04:13,893 --> 01:04:16,026
His next court date, June 13th.
1118
01:04:17,941 --> 01:04:23,685
- So Philadelphia
Inquirer article
1119
01:04:23,729 --> 01:04:25,687
the day after the
preliminary hearing.
1120
01:04:27,428 --> 01:04:28,255
It's incredible.
1121
01:04:30,736 --> 01:04:33,304
"Mid-way through his testimony
1122
01:04:33,347 --> 01:04:37,308
"he pulled out a white
black-rimmed yarmulke,
1123
01:04:37,351 --> 01:04:41,312
"as if he'd forgotten it
whilst sitting during services
1124
01:04:41,355 --> 01:04:44,750
"and placed it on his
curly brown hair."
1125
01:04:47,231 --> 01:04:51,322
And then he continued
and he hurt Uncle Howard.
1126
01:04:54,194 --> 01:04:55,369
That took two years.
1127
01:05:00,722 --> 01:05:02,028
I still have
1128
01:05:05,423 --> 01:05:06,946
my yarmulke in the drawer.
1129
01:05:13,605 --> 01:05:15,215
Incredible courage
1130
01:05:18,871 --> 01:05:20,133
from that little boy.
1131
01:05:41,285 --> 01:05:43,287
- It's my grandpa's backyard.
1132
01:05:58,693 --> 01:06:02,436
Hi, this is the day
of my bar mitzvah.
1133
01:06:02,480 --> 01:06:06,658
I'm still in my
pajamas, but who cares?
1134
01:06:06,701 --> 01:06:09,661
Anyway, you know.
1135
01:06:10,705 --> 01:06:12,664
Today I become a Jewish man.
1136
01:06:12,707 --> 01:06:16,494
I just, I am so happy
to be surrounded
1137
01:06:16,537 --> 01:06:18,583
by people that love me.
1138
01:06:18,626 --> 01:06:21,934
I mean, it's like I have
this huge wall of people
1139
01:06:21,978 --> 01:06:23,283
that I love and that love me,
1140
01:06:23,327 --> 01:06:25,938
but I'm gonna see
you guys today.
1141
01:06:25,982 --> 01:06:27,461
Adios, see you at
the bar mitzvah.
1142
01:06:27,505 --> 01:06:28,941
- Rumble.
- Come on,
1143
01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:30,290
let's hear it for
Sasha, come on.
1144
01:06:35,165 --> 01:06:36,557
We need you out of your seats.
1145
01:06:36,601 --> 01:06:38,603
Everybody up, come on,
let's hear it for him.
1146
01:06:42,694 --> 01:06:45,262
โช Be aggressive,
B-E aggressive โช
1147
01:06:45,305 --> 01:06:46,219
โช Hit it
1148
01:06:46,263 --> 01:06:48,352
โช Y'all ready for this?
1149
01:06:48,395 --> 01:06:49,918
โช I like to move it, move it
1150
01:06:49,962 --> 01:06:52,008
- Come on, let's hear
it for the man here.
1151
01:06:52,051 --> 01:06:53,313
โช I like to move it, move it
1152
01:06:53,357 --> 01:06:55,794
- He did a great job today.
1153
01:06:55,837 --> 01:06:57,361
โช I like to move it, move it
1154
01:06:57,404 --> 01:06:59,276
โช I like to move it, move it
1155
01:06:59,319 --> 01:07:01,191
โช I like to move it, move it
1156
01:07:01,234 --> 01:07:03,628
โช Give it up
1157
01:07:06,065 --> 01:07:07,110
- How's everyone tonight?
1158
01:07:10,548 --> 01:07:12,811
I'm happy, I'm really happy.
1159
01:07:46,018 --> 01:07:49,848
My mom said that after the
preliminary hearing with Howard
1160
01:07:49,891 --> 01:07:52,155
she noticed a difference in me.
1161
01:07:52,198 --> 01:07:54,113
- Of course, you won.
1162
01:07:54,157 --> 01:07:55,854
- Well, I hadn't won,
'cause he wasn't convicted
1163
01:07:55,897 --> 01:07:57,029
of anything.
- It doesn't matter.
1164
01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:58,683
How do you mean I won?
1165
01:07:58,726 --> 01:08:02,687
- You testified about
what that man did to you
1166
01:08:02,730 --> 01:08:06,647
in front of him,
quite capably,
1167
01:08:06,691 --> 01:08:08,780
and whatever happened
subsequent to that
1168
01:08:08,823 --> 01:08:14,568
was the responsibility
of the judicial system.
1169
01:08:14,612 --> 01:08:16,222
It had nothing to do with Sasha.
1170
01:08:23,447 --> 01:08:25,710
Temple Emanu-El
issued this statement today
1171
01:08:25,753 --> 01:08:27,973
saying the cantor has
been a faithful servant
1172
01:08:28,016 --> 01:08:30,410
to our congregation
for 23 years,
1173
01:08:30,454 --> 01:08:32,238
and never in all of
that time has there been
1174
01:08:32,282 --> 01:08:35,241
any suggestion of improper
behavior on his part.
1175
01:08:35,285 --> 01:08:37,330
We continue to
presume Cantor Nevison
1176
01:08:37,374 --> 01:08:39,463
innocent until proven otherwise.
1177
01:08:44,772 --> 01:08:46,165
- All right, so
that's 2002 though
1178
01:08:46,209 --> 01:08:48,776
and it's 2006 by
the time we finally...
1179
01:08:48,820 --> 01:08:50,387
Then there's four more years.
1180
01:08:50,430 --> 01:08:52,302
- What happened?
- There's four more years.
1181
01:08:52,345 --> 01:08:54,478
- Four years of your life
disappeared, what happened?
1182
01:08:54,521 --> 01:08:56,610
- You came to law
enforcement at a time
1183
01:08:56,654 --> 01:08:59,918
when the way that we
handled cases like this
1184
01:08:59,961 --> 01:09:02,225
was that a child
would be interviewed
1185
01:09:02,268 --> 01:09:03,704
by many different people.
1186
01:09:03,748 --> 01:09:06,011
So the first report comes
in and there might be
1187
01:09:06,054 --> 01:09:07,317
a responding police officer
1188
01:09:07,360 --> 01:09:09,057
who has some
communication with you,
1189
01:09:09,101 --> 01:09:11,495
and there might be a social
worker and a detective
1190
01:09:11,538 --> 01:09:14,193
and a prosecutor and the
people at the hospital
1191
01:09:14,237 --> 01:09:16,543
who you talk to, both a
social worker and a nurse
1192
01:09:16,587 --> 01:09:20,199
and a doctor, and at the
end of this whole process,
1193
01:09:20,243 --> 01:09:24,377
I mean, there were dozens,
dozens of different statements
1194
01:09:24,421 --> 01:09:27,206
being attributed to you,
some of which probably
1195
01:09:27,250 --> 01:09:29,208
didn't even reflect
what you said to anybody
1196
01:09:29,252 --> 01:09:30,688
at a different time.
1197
01:09:30,731 --> 01:09:34,605
- Recollecting the same
story for the 47,000th time
1198
01:09:34,648 --> 01:09:38,739
in this series of endless
people that you have to talk to
1199
01:09:38,783 --> 01:09:41,089
and maybe the shade of the color
1200
01:09:41,133 --> 01:09:44,615
of the shirt that you were
wearing that day four years ago
1201
01:09:44,658 --> 01:09:47,226
is recollected as a
different shade of blue
1202
01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:49,010
and then the defense
attorney's gonna jump in
1203
01:09:49,054 --> 01:09:52,666
and say, "See, this is
not a viable witness."
1204
01:09:52,710 --> 01:09:55,234
- Howard's two attorneys,
they filed motions,
1205
01:09:55,278 --> 01:09:57,802
since you and I spoke
a lot over the years,
1206
01:09:57,845 --> 01:10:01,719
that somehow I coerced
you into your statement.
1207
01:10:01,762 --> 01:10:04,983
They filed motions that
you were hypnotized
1208
01:10:05,026 --> 01:10:07,420
by the psychiatrist.
1209
01:10:07,464 --> 01:10:09,422
It got to the point where
playing youth hockey
1210
01:10:09,466 --> 01:10:12,208
you had a concussion so there
was some motion they filed
1211
01:10:12,251 --> 01:10:15,863
that basically that because of
the injury you were confused.
1212
01:10:15,907 --> 01:10:17,256
- The lawyers in this case
1213
01:10:17,300 --> 01:10:20,041
represented the
defendant very zealously.
1214
01:10:21,565 --> 01:10:24,045
But what that zealous
representation revealed
1215
01:10:24,089 --> 01:10:28,006
is that it was just gonna be
an all-out war against you.
1216
01:10:28,049 --> 01:10:29,616
- A letter was sent out
1217
01:10:29,660 --> 01:10:31,749
to the members of the Temple
Emanu-El up in New York City,
1218
01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:33,968
so they had
a fundraiser for Howard
1219
01:10:34,012 --> 01:10:35,448
and they were asking
the congregants
1220
01:10:35,492 --> 01:10:38,234
to provide money to
his defense fund.
1221
01:10:38,277 --> 01:10:39,844
When you have two attorneys
1222
01:10:41,324 --> 01:10:43,848
that have an unlimited
supply of funds,
1223
01:10:43,891 --> 01:10:45,589
they can file a lot of motions.
1224
01:10:47,112 --> 01:10:51,508
- It delayed the
process over years.
1225
01:10:51,551 --> 01:10:56,077
Drew it out to a point that
it was absolutely unnecessary
1226
01:10:56,121 --> 01:10:57,427
and caused additional harm.
1227
01:11:01,605 --> 01:11:04,477
- Ultimately we got through
all of those motions
1228
01:11:04,521 --> 01:11:07,132
and got to the place
where we were actually
1229
01:11:07,175 --> 01:11:09,003
getting ready to go to trial.
1230
01:11:09,047 --> 01:11:13,747
So there was one felony charge
and four misdemeanor charges
1231
01:11:13,791 --> 01:11:17,577
against Howard Nevison and
it was with that framework
1232
01:11:17,621 --> 01:11:20,276
where we had a trial date
set and we were ready to go
1233
01:11:20,319 --> 01:11:22,147
that the defense
attorney approached me
1234
01:11:22,190 --> 01:11:24,628
about trying to resolve
it and a possible plea.
1235
01:11:26,151 --> 01:11:29,633
The most significant
penalty would have come
1236
01:11:29,676 --> 01:11:31,199
from the one felony charge,
1237
01:11:31,243 --> 01:11:33,419
punishable by up to
20 years in prison.
1238
01:11:35,029 --> 01:11:38,337
The proposal that was
suggested by the defense was
1239
01:11:38,381 --> 01:11:41,819
a plea to they're five
different misdemeanors
1240
01:11:41,862 --> 01:11:43,342
and not to the felony.
1241
01:11:45,170 --> 01:11:46,693
They always want to
plead to the misdemeanors
1242
01:11:46,737 --> 01:11:47,999
if they're gonna plea.
1243
01:11:48,042 --> 01:11:50,218
In fact, I've probably
rejected it more times
1244
01:11:50,262 --> 01:11:52,090
than I can even think of
as I'm sitting here.
1245
01:11:52,133 --> 01:11:53,874
- Did you do what
he said you did?
1246
01:11:53,918 --> 01:11:55,136
- Speak to my lawyer.
- Is he lying?
1247
01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:57,095
- But in this case,
it was different.
1248
01:11:57,138 --> 01:11:59,097
For me, it was one
of those decisions
1249
01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:03,144
I wanted to leave to Sasha,
so that he could figure out
1250
01:12:03,188 --> 01:12:05,321
what the next step of
his life was gonna be.
1251
01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:10,238
Sasha's first reaction was
nope, we're gonna go to trial.
1252
01:12:10,282 --> 01:12:11,805
It's all or nothing.
1253
01:12:14,895 --> 01:12:18,551
And it was a couple days later
I got a call back from Jacqui
1254
01:12:18,595 --> 01:12:21,685
saying they talked about it
and they thought about it
1255
01:12:21,728 --> 01:12:24,078
and they wanted to move
forward with a plea.
1256
01:12:28,692 --> 01:12:30,998
- I made the decision to
accept the plea bargain
1257
01:12:31,042 --> 01:12:33,044
because I didn't
want to go to trial
1258
01:12:33,087 --> 01:12:36,047
with the possibility that
he'd get off completely clean,
1259
01:12:36,090 --> 01:12:39,703
completely clean and have a
chance to hurt other people
1260
01:12:39,746 --> 01:12:43,620
and I also wanted to move
forward with my life.
1261
01:12:44,969 --> 01:12:46,274
I remember...
- The doors.
1262
01:12:46,318 --> 01:12:47,841
- These doors.
1263
01:12:47,885 --> 01:12:50,366
- So our final day in court
was the sentencing hearing.
1264
01:12:50,409 --> 01:12:53,020
It was September 19th of 2006.
1265
01:12:53,064 --> 01:12:54,761
Hearing
appeals could go on for years,
1266
01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:56,894
the victim's family
earlier agreed to a deal
1267
01:12:56,937 --> 01:12:59,505
dropping felony charges
with Nevison pleading guilty
1268
01:12:59,549 --> 01:13:00,898
to lesser misdemeanor counts.
1269
01:13:00,941 --> 01:13:02,813
For the family, that was enough.
1270
01:13:02,856 --> 01:13:05,337
But before the cantor could
return to New York today,
1271
01:13:05,381 --> 01:13:08,166
the judge directed him
to first take a tour
1272
01:13:08,209 --> 01:13:09,297
of the county prison.
1273
01:13:09,341 --> 01:13:10,473
The apparent reason
1274
01:13:10,516 --> 01:13:12,866
behind the unusual court
ordered field trip,
1275
01:13:12,910 --> 01:13:16,827
to make clear to the
65-year-old convicted molester
1276
01:13:16,870 --> 01:13:18,655
that should he get
in trouble again,
1277
01:13:18,698 --> 01:13:21,309
prison is where he
will likely end up.
1278
01:13:21,353 --> 01:13:24,661
- Probation of 12 years
and I'm gonna make sure
1279
01:13:24,704 --> 01:13:27,141
you get a tour of the prison
before you leave today
1280
01:13:27,185 --> 01:13:29,274
to show you what it
would have been like,
1281
01:13:29,317 --> 01:13:31,189
and I was like, what?
1282
01:13:31,232 --> 01:13:34,105
I felt the same like
punch in the gut,
1283
01:13:34,148 --> 01:13:39,110
like this case, the abuse
suffered by the children
1284
01:13:39,153 --> 01:13:41,155
by three different
people, it was actually
1285
01:13:41,199 --> 01:13:42,418
on three different levels.
1286
01:13:43,897 --> 01:13:45,725
Larry's level to Sasha was here.
1287
01:13:45,769 --> 01:13:49,642
Stewart's level to Sasha
and Rebekah was up here.
1288
01:13:49,686 --> 01:13:53,167
Okay, right about here.
1289
01:13:53,211 --> 01:13:56,083
Howard's abuse to
Sasha was here.
1290
01:13:56,127 --> 01:14:00,392
So you're talking
extreme, middle, low level
1291
01:14:00,436 --> 01:14:02,438
for the purposes of this.
1292
01:14:02,481 --> 01:14:05,310
The punishment dictated
at the end of it
1293
01:14:06,616 --> 01:14:07,791
was just the opposite.
1294
01:14:09,357 --> 01:14:11,359
Howard got this.
1295
01:14:11,403 --> 01:14:13,144
Stewart got this
1296
01:14:13,187 --> 01:14:15,189
and Larry got this.
1297
01:14:15,233 --> 01:14:16,974
Was it fair?
1298
01:14:17,017 --> 01:14:17,975
Fuck no.
1299
01:14:31,292 --> 01:14:35,688
- This is our courtroom
and you came up here
1300
01:14:37,211 --> 01:14:39,518
to this witness stand.
1301
01:14:39,562 --> 01:14:41,520
- Sasha, you've been
living with this case
1302
01:14:41,564 --> 01:14:42,956
for a long time, haven't you,
1303
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:44,741
and that's you asking
me the questions.
1304
01:14:44,784 --> 01:14:46,003
- That is.
1305
01:14:46,046 --> 01:14:47,439
- Sasha, you've been
living with this case
1306
01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,136
for a long time, haven't you?
1307
01:14:49,180 --> 01:14:50,007
Yes.
1308
01:14:50,050 --> 01:14:51,182
How old are you today?
1309
01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:54,054
I'm 16, but I'll be 17 tomorrow.
1310
01:14:54,098 --> 01:14:57,710
As we bring this entire
episode in your life to a close,
1311
01:14:57,754 --> 01:14:59,233
do you have any
thoughts or words?
1312
01:14:59,277 --> 01:15:00,452
I do.
1313
01:15:00,496 --> 01:15:02,410
And then you said,
keep your voice up.
1314
01:15:05,065 --> 01:15:06,545
There was a time in my life
1315
01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:08,329
when I didn't have
trouble smiling.
1316
01:15:08,373 --> 01:15:12,246
I trusted everyone,
especially my family.
1317
01:15:12,290 --> 01:15:15,293
But at the age of three,
I lost my trust and happiness
1318
01:15:15,336 --> 01:15:17,904
because of one man
who betrayed me.
1319
01:15:17,948 --> 01:15:20,690
I was so scared and tormented
by what my Uncle Howard
1320
01:15:20,733 --> 01:15:24,171
was doing to me that I
repeatedly tried to kill myself,
1321
01:15:25,433 --> 01:15:28,219
but I have so much
to live for now
1322
01:15:28,262 --> 01:15:30,787
because I didn't take
the easy way out.
1323
01:15:30,830 --> 01:15:33,572
I fought the beast and I won.
1324
01:15:33,616 --> 01:15:37,402
I won because I spoke when
he swore he'd kill me.
1325
01:15:37,445 --> 01:15:40,753
Uncle Howard, as a cantor
in the Jewish religion,
1326
01:15:40,797 --> 01:15:41,972
you should know
that what you did
1327
01:15:42,015 --> 01:15:44,627
does not sit very well with God.
1328
01:15:44,670 --> 01:15:47,934
And as we approach the season
of our Jewish high holidays,
1329
01:15:47,978 --> 01:15:50,328
I hope you ask God to
have mercy on your soul.
1330
01:15:52,548 --> 01:15:53,592
- Is he laughing?
1331
01:15:53,636 --> 01:15:56,247
I don't think so.
1332
01:16:06,823 --> 01:16:07,867
- Oh.
1333
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:23,579
โช Nothing is hoid,
but the son of a boy โช
1334
01:16:27,017 --> 01:16:28,845
โช La, da, da, da de
1335
01:16:28,888 --> 01:16:31,891
โช La, la, la de
1336
01:16:43,468 --> 01:16:45,731
- So what do you
think looking back?
1337
01:16:45,775 --> 01:16:47,559
Did you say what
you wanted to say?
1338
01:16:50,214 --> 01:16:51,694
- I said what I wanted to say
1339
01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:57,047
and at the same
time, I look back
1340
01:16:57,090 --> 01:17:00,659
and I still see that I was
an angry person about it.
1341
01:17:00,703 --> 01:17:02,182
I was very angry
1342
01:17:02,226 --> 01:17:05,795
and revisiting this story
again for the purpose
1343
01:17:05,838 --> 01:17:11,148
of making a film has been
challenging at times,
1344
01:17:11,191 --> 01:17:14,760
but this is
happening everywhere.
1345
01:17:14,804 --> 01:17:17,676
I really hope that children
don't have to go through
1346
01:17:17,720 --> 01:17:20,331
what I went through, but
there are a lot of children
1347
01:17:20,374 --> 01:17:21,767
that are going through that.
1348
01:17:23,377 --> 01:17:25,684
So let's stop.
1349
01:17:25,728 --> 01:17:27,164
Let's do what we
can to prevent it.
1350
01:17:27,207 --> 01:17:28,687
Let's talk about it.
1351
01:17:28,731 --> 01:17:33,431
I'm motivated because I realize,
1352
01:17:33,474 --> 01:17:38,001
I realize how incredibly
lucky and blessed I am
1353
01:17:38,044 --> 01:17:40,525
to have my whole life
ahead of me, you know?
1354
01:17:41,613 --> 01:17:42,701
He didn't destroy it.
1355
01:17:43,746 --> 01:17:46,009
It's done, man, it's amazing.
1356
01:17:48,098 --> 01:17:49,795
It's cool to be in
there all by myself
1357
01:17:49,839 --> 01:17:52,668
and just say thank you, goodbye.
1358
01:17:54,060 --> 01:17:55,061
Moving on.
1359
01:17:55,105 --> 01:17:56,062
- Good.
- Feels good.
1360
01:17:56,106 --> 01:17:56,933
- All right.
1361
01:17:58,282 --> 01:18:00,501
- Let's, uh, peace out of here.
1362
01:18:00,545 --> 01:18:02,112
Can I grab something?
1363
01:18:03,287 --> 01:18:04,114
Thanks.
1364
01:18:22,654 --> 01:18:24,700
I got the camera.
1365
01:18:34,971 --> 01:18:35,928
He'll be right back?
1366
01:18:35,972 --> 01:18:38,278
Yes, he should be here.
1367
01:18:38,322 --> 01:18:40,541
- Now, what you do,
save the tape.
1368
01:18:40,585 --> 01:18:42,630
Wait for, there's
gonna probably be
1369
01:18:42,674 --> 01:18:45,024
a small ceremonial type thing.
1370
01:18:46,504 --> 01:18:48,767
Oh, there's
more video cassettes.
1371
01:18:48,811 --> 01:18:51,335
- So in other words, you're
just wasting this on?
1372
01:18:51,378 --> 01:18:52,728
You know it takes time
to watch these too
1373
01:18:52,771 --> 01:18:55,034
after they're
photographed, you know?
1374
01:18:57,907 --> 01:19:00,736
I'd like you to
speak with an English accent.
1375
01:19:00,779 --> 01:19:02,520
I can't do that.
1376
01:19:02,563 --> 01:19:04,783
I implorably refuse.
1377
01:19:06,611 --> 01:19:08,569
Shocked, I shocked.
1378
01:19:08,613 --> 01:19:09,614
- Look at that.
1379
01:19:11,747 --> 01:19:14,314
- He shan't do that.
- Thank you.
1380
01:19:25,151 --> 01:19:26,631
- This was taken with him
1381
01:19:27,501 --> 01:19:28,546
and there I am here.
1382
01:19:28,589 --> 01:19:30,417
He put his hands
on my shoulders.
1383
01:19:30,461 --> 01:19:34,117
He said, "God has kissed
your vocal chords."
1384
01:19:49,001 --> 01:19:50,568
- So this is our team room.
1385
01:19:50,611 --> 01:19:52,483
This is where the team will
come and watch the interview.
1386
01:19:52,526 --> 01:19:54,964
- The interviewer, the child.
- Yes.
1387
01:19:55,007 --> 01:19:56,400
- And that's the close-up.
- Yes.
1388
01:19:56,443 --> 01:19:57,836
- That's the shot of
where the child's sitting?
1389
01:19:57,880 --> 01:19:58,750
Yep, that's it.
1390
01:19:58,794 --> 01:20:00,317
- One person does the interview.
1391
01:20:00,360 --> 01:20:04,016
Ideally one time and everybody
who has a part of that
1392
01:20:04,060 --> 01:20:05,322
can go and watch.
1393
01:20:05,365 --> 01:20:07,498
So the police can go,
the prosecutors can go,
1394
01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:09,108
the social workers can go.
1395
01:20:09,152 --> 01:20:11,894
We can have medical and
mental health people on site
1396
01:20:11,937 --> 01:20:15,114
and everybody that needs to
know for their profession
1397
01:20:15,158 --> 01:20:17,987
what happened, can
go listen and watch
1398
01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:19,510
and they don't have
to re-interview
1399
01:20:19,553 --> 01:20:22,295
and re-traumatize the
child over and over again.
1400
01:20:22,339 --> 01:20:24,558
The things that we do
here at Mission Kids
1401
01:20:24,602 --> 01:20:27,518
came out of what you
lived that we felt,
1402
01:20:27,561 --> 01:20:29,694
in this county,
you shouldn't have had to live.
1403
01:20:29,737 --> 01:20:32,566
So it's better for kids now
because of what you endured.
1404
01:20:42,925 --> 01:20:44,883
- The thing is every
word's important,
1405
01:20:44,927 --> 01:20:47,581
every single word is important.
1406
01:20:53,718 --> 01:20:54,937
- Stop it.
- Tatala darling.
1407
01:20:54,980 --> 01:20:56,460
- Tatala darling.
1408
01:20:56,503 --> 01:20:57,809
- Darling, how are you.
- Darling, how have you been?
1409
01:20:57,853 --> 01:20:58,941
- It's been so long.
1410
01:21:14,608 --> 01:21:17,655
What can be done to help
present day survivors
1411
01:21:17,698 --> 01:21:20,484
while working to create
awareness and resources
1412
01:21:20,527 --> 01:21:23,400
to help protect future
generations of children?
1413
01:21:29,754 --> 01:21:31,103
As a survivor
1414
01:21:32,713 --> 01:21:37,718
I know what a place like Dallas
CAC would have done for me.
100066
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.