All language subtitles for Lois and Clark - 03x15 - I Now Pronounce You

It's gonna be critical.
They need five yards, Doug.

Cooper sets, looks,
throws across the middle...

...and it's out of the hands of Tyler.
Intercepted by a Niner.

Yes!

- Hello?
- Clark, you're there.

It's horrible, it's terrible. I...

Lois!

- What's the matter?
- You scared me.

- You said something bad was happening.
- No...

No, it's just that...

We're getting married in four days...

...and I've never been happier.

Every time that things are going great,
something happens.

I know that something bad's
gonna happen to mess up our wedding.

I just know it.

- That's it?
- Well...

- ...yeah.
- Lois, nothing's gonna happen.

You're just nervous, that's all.

So am I.

- Really?
- Well, not as nervous as you, but sure.

Look, we took the whole week off.

We have no stories to investigate,
it's gonna be fine.

The scariest thing that's gonna happen
is that tomorrow night...

...we have to pick our parents up
at the airport.

I've just...

I've just had the strangest feeling
all evening.

Okay.

Nope. Not a bad guy in sight.

- You must...
- Lois Lane.

I have a delivery for you.

Sorry.

Nice grip.

Sign here, please.

See? Everything's gonna be just fine.

Yeah.

They're dead.

Maybe you were the last stop
on his route. You know...

- ...they were fine this morning, but now...
- There's no note. See?

- I told you, it's starting.
- The only thing that's starting...

...is this.

Well, why don't you just check
the computer again. It's under Lane.

L-A-N-E.
Maybe he didn't spell it right.

- There are no rooms available.
- What do you mean, no rooms?

I made reservations a month ago.
I confirmed them yesterday.

Yes, ma'am. But the people staying
in your rooms haven't checked out.

I don't care if they put up tents,
just put them someplace else.

I'm sorry, but there's no room.

Metropolis is socked in,
and nobody can get a flight out.

God, what a disaster.
I knew this wedding would never go off.

- We'll probably end up sleeping in alleys...
- Mother.

Perhaps you would like us
to try another hotel for you?

- They're all booked.
- Even the motels.

A dozen conventions in town.

Listen, perhaps someone with adjoining
suites would consider consolidating...

- ...and then we could sort of take their...
- Look!

My wedding is in three days.
I have relatives flying in from all over...

...assuming they can land. We're tired
and wet. And I have a very loud voice.

So I don't care
if the president is in my room...

- ...I want them out, or I'm going...
- Excuse me.

Threats against the president
are a felony, ma'am.

Punishable by imprisonment.

I'm sure they have rooms there.

Excuse us, please.

- Look who's here.
- Here he is.

- Mr. President.
- Lois Lane, good to see you.

Hated that story you and Clark Kent
did on my tax increase proposal.

And congratulations.

Thank you.

Have a nice wedding.

What do we do now?

We go to Plan B...

Whatever that is.

- Well, you certainly came well prepared.
- Too bad I didn't bring a room.

Oh, God, I could use a drink.
Pity I gave it up.

This has gotta be the worst night
of my life, excluding our first date.

- Maybe she can sleep on the fire escape.
- Mom, Dad...

...I'm sure this is only temporary.

I'll call the hotel
first thing in the morning.

Would anybody like to have
some nice hot tea?

- That sounds great.
- Lois.

What if Lucy can't get in?
Who's going to be your maid of honor?

I know.

You can ask Cindy.
I mean, she would be thrilled.

Maybe you ought to call now
to warn her.

Mom.

Cindy? Your cousin Cindy?

If your sister doesn't show,
you gotta have somebody.

She invited you to all her weddings.
You didn't go. You owe it to her.

Mother, her receptions lasted longer
than both of her marriages.

She's gonna drive me mad.

- She's just anxious, honey.
- I am this close to losing it.

Lois, sweetie,
you've been slouching a little lately.

You don't wanna do that
when you walk down the aisle.

What?

Lois. Clark.
What are you two doing here?

Perry, I need a story.

Something big, horrible and complex
that'll get my mind off my parents.

Preferably something out of the country.

I see she's entered phase two:
The manic stage.

Hold onto your spurs.

Yeah, maybe you could just
give us a little story.

- Something that would take two hours.
- I got just the thing.

Lois, thank Elvis you two are here.

I got a page-one I need you on.

Jimmy, give me that file off my desk,
will you please, sir?

- One file coming up.
- Perry, you're the best. What's it about?

Government corruption?
Banking scandal? Celebrity infidelities?

- Frogs.
- Frogs?

Not just any kind of frogs.

Very rare and valuable frogs
from the South Pacific.

All green and yellow,
fantastic growth rate.

People been importing them
as pets for years.

Now it turns out
they may be a medical miracle...

...and a bunch of them got stolen last
night from Phil's Exotic Pet Palace.

So, now, this is big.

- So hop to. Let's move.
- Thanks, Perry, you saved my sanity.

See you at the rehearsal.

Then, about five years ago,
scientists found out...

...that the Doppelbuufo frog cell nucleus
contains DNA that, when grafted...

...to the DNA from another animal,
helped make perfect biological copies...

...to whatever the second animal was.
- You mean clone them?

Yes. So far, it's only been tried on mice.

So the only thing that was taken
was these frogs?

Right. None of them were valuable pets,
just the Doppelbuufos.

I came in about 7 this morning
and discovered...

...that the door had been jimmied.

A rogue medical researcher, no doubt.

Is there anything else about these frogs?

No...

Except they have
a very fast metabolism...

...due to some unusual enzymes
they have...

...which makes them hungry
most of the time.

If they can't make enough
of their own enzymes...

...they'll happily turn on
each other for them.

I can't believe
that you took the car like that.

I forgot, you're clones.

You may have the exact face
of the president...

...but you've got the exact brain
as his cufflink.

I was hungry.

- It's not like anybody saw us.
- Yeah.

How would you have explained
that the leader of the free world...

...is knocking off a pet shop?

You wouldn't have been able to explain it
because you'd have a frog in your throat.

- I'm sorry, we're just nervous.
- Yeah, this is never gonna work.

Since that last assassination attempt,
the president's security has been tight.

- Yeah.
- All right, let's go back to clone school.

Now, you listen up.
You're exact copies of the president...

...and the man in charge
of the Secret Service detail.

Got that?
In fact, you are so exact...

...that the president's wife
couldn't tell you apart.

What about when I burp?

Oh, God.

Six months away from curing cancer
and I give it up for this.

Doctor Mamba.
Yes, sir. Of course, sir.

No. Everything is fine, sir.

They're feeling great and ready to go.

Yes, sir.

Absolutely. By tomorrow, we'll have
a new president. One of ours.

They're very eager.
Eager, eager. Yeah, yeah.

They're nodding their heads.
Yes, sir. Thank you. Goodbye.

- Don't make me tell him the truth.
- Hey, I'm still hungry.

- Me too.
- I'm hungry. I'm a mutant. I have needs.

All right.

I'll give you one each.

You know it's not good to eat
after 10 at night.

Housekeeping.
I just came in to turn down the...

Grab her.

And how do I get from the stage to the
limo in case I need to leave in a hurry?

They may not take too kindly
to my tax increase proposal.

We have a secure route
through the wings to the side bar.

Excellent.

Thought you might like to see
the game in wide-screen tonight.

All the better to watch your
Tar Heels get their butts kicked.

- Never happen.
- I thought you said you were...

- ...coming up in the passenger elevator?
- Did I?

I meant, service.
We came up in the service elevator.

In fact, do me a favor.
Take it back down to the garage.

Let them know
that we roll in 15 minutes.

Will do.

Sir, we're...

Night-night.

- What in the...?
- No screaming. It's not dignified.

Sweet dreams, Mr. President.

Certainly cheaper
than an election, isn't it?

Change clothes.

Then we'll put his body
in the passageway.

- Look what you did to my car.
- What I did to your car?

You were in my lane.

Got you there, didn't I?

- Buddy, don't try and cut in front of me.
- Cool your jets, baby.

Lois, relax, we've got plenty of time.
The rehearsal's not till 2:30.

Clark, don't you remember?
We moved it up to noon.

The minister's got
that important meeting.

- Excuse us. We've gotta get through.
- What seems to be the problem here?

We're cooked.
I can practically hear my mother now.

Uncanny how that works.

Yes, mother.

I know we're supposed to be there,
we're stuck in traffic...

...but not for long.

What? What?
I can't hear you...

Two things cannot be
in the same place...

Excuse me, folks. Can I help you here?

- We're talking.
- We're talking.

- The point is I got there first.
- My lane.

- What? Your lane? I pay taxes.
- My...

No, I haven't made
my mind up about Cindy.

Look, Mom, I gotta go.
The accident's about to clear up.

You are gonna come in pretty handy.

You should see me
take out the garbage.

ATM machines have hidden cameras.

Looks like our frognapper may have
made a deposit he wasn't aware of.

And my second wedding
was in the Dominican Republic...

Or was it my third?

Anyway, we got
the whole thing annulled...

and I enrolled in bullfighting school.

Have you ever been married?

You know, sometimes, I think she does
this just to make me anxious.

You know, keep the upper hand
and all of that.

I'm sure it's the traffic,
just like she says.

Wait. Those are not birds of paradise.

I distinctly ordered birds of paradise.

Now, what nitwit changed that?

This nitwit.

Hello, hello, hello. I'm Reverend Bob.
I will be your host this afternoon.

Hello, how are you? What are the seven
scariest words in the English language?

- "I now pronounce you man and wife."
- Funny.

How many brides does it take
to screw in a light bulb?

- I don't know.
- Neither do they.

That's why they have
wedding coordinators.

- You hired him?
- Don't start.

Sorry, we're late.

No problem. You can be late
for the rehearsal, even for the wedding.

Just make sure
you're not late with my check.

- What were we thinking of?
- No respect. No crowd.

Let's start with the rehearsal now,
shall we? Okay.

Starting with the terrified bachelor.

Right over here. And the best man?

That's me.

Okay. You'll be standing right over here
wondering if you forgot the ring or not.

Okay, then the organ will play the music.

Then the groom's mama
will be lead down the isle...

...followed by the groom's dada not
to be confused with the art movement.

Then we got the bride's mommy,
followed by the bridesmaids...

...and then we have
the maid of honor, who is...

Still trying to make it in.

Hey, what's the difference between
a maid of honor and a maid's honor?

About seven beers.

I made a funny, Lily.

Thank you.
Tip the waitresses.

Reverend Bob, can we just
kind of get on with the?

Sorry. Of course, you're right.
I was just practicing my routine a little.

Your routine?

Yeah, yeah. I have
a tryout this afternoon.

King Neptune Cruise Lines.

It has an audition for a comedian
on one of their ships.

That was the important meeting?

Six islands, seven nights.
All the shrimp you can eat.

What did the porcupine say
to his wife on their wedding night?

Come on, stay with me.

Sir, everything went off
without a hitch.

There wasn't even a hint of a hitch.

It was hitch-less.

They're resting quietly now,
but they're not talking very much.

There's the president.

He's going to announce phase two.
Get to a television set if you've got one...

Well, I didn't mean "if you've got one."
I'm sure you've got... well...

Yes, yes, yes. I am an idiot.
Thank you, sir. Your compliments.

After much thought and consideration,
and in contrast to my previous position...

...I have decided to endorse
the proposed tax decrease...

- ...for the upcoming...
- Decrease?

Just yesterday he was talking
about an increase.

Maybe a good night's sleep on a nice
soft hotel mattress changed his mind.

Do I detect a hint of annoyance?

- Okay, I'll try the hotel again. May I?
- Yes, please.

Could you call the airlines too?
I'm worried about Lucy.

CK, messengers just dropped
this off for you.

Let's see what Mr. ATM has to say.

Thought it was too painful.

The ATM camera
records every ten seconds.

I asked the bank if we could
make photos of the tape.

- You can't see the pet store in this angle.
- Sure, you can.

It's right here in the background.
Kind of fuzzy.

Look. There's Elvis
and Jimmy Hoffa...

...and the plot to Showgirls.

Actually, there is someone there.

What's he look like?

Like the head
of the Secret Service detail.

The Secret Service is stealing frogs?

I can't be sure,
but I do have a license number.

Jimmy! Jimmy.

- Could you run this license plate, please?
- Yeah.

Thanks.

- Lois, is everything all right?
- This is just so typical.

You want a big story.
You're disappointed.

You think it's a simple frognapping...

...then Secret Service is involved.
National security.

Foreign intrigue. This could be it.
This could be the Pulitzer.

But you've got your wedding to consider.

What are you suppose to do? You want
the Pulitzer, but you want your wedding.

Do you forget the Pulitzer
or your wedding?

I knew something bad would happen.
No matter what I do...

...part of me wants
to do something else.

Lois, honey, nothing's gonna happen.

- What did you just say?
- "Lois."

- After that.
- "Honey."

That's the first time
you've ever called me that.

Say it again.

Honey.

That's amazing. I like it.

I never thought of myself as a honey.

What's happening to me?

So you got any other names in mind?

Sweetheart.

Darling.

My little...

- ...tornado.
- This is disgusting.

That license you guys gave me
was to a rental car.

It belongs to a corporate account
at a place called GreenTech.

The name on the account
is Dr. Isaac Mamba.

He's some kind of biologist working
on cloning and accelerated growth.

Get this. His research,
it involves exotic frogs.

- Wow, Clark, we have gotta talk to him.
- Well, I can try to find him but...

...your mom's on line one.

Hi, Mom.

I can't understand you.
Well, move the ice bag.

What?
Well, can't we just?

I see. All right. Bye.

Keep your feet elevated.

The rehearsal dinner's cancelled.

The restaurant was closed
by the Board of Health.

Everything else is booked.
We are doomed.

- Lois?
- Yes, Clark.

Not every place is booked.

- Exactly how guilt-ridden should I feel?
- Not very.

One slice of pepperoni pizza
is only about four hundred calories.

Not the food.

The fact that we're eating it
without parental supervision.

Hey, you had nothing to do
with that restaurant getting shut down.

No, but...

Clark.

Marrying you...

...is the most remarkable
thing that's ever happened to me.

And in all this craziness...

...all I really wanted was a few minutes
alone with you to tell you that.

Actually, I think everyone's glad
to have the night off.

Except for the toast.

Daddy loves giving toasts.

So I guess, right about now,
he'd probably be saying...

...how sorry he was to have left home...

...because he missed out
on seeing his little girl...

...grow up into the most lovely woman...

...that anyone has ever seen.

Then my mother would say
it served him right.

But then she'd admit...

...that if teaching their child
the value of love was important...

...they'd done their job.

And your parents...

...would remind me that...

...the son that came to them
as the most special of gifts...

...they now share it with me.

And they'd ask me to protect him...

...with all the strength
that he uses to protect others.

Now, I guess, it's the groom's toast.

I...

...love you, Lois.

I...

And I love you, Clark.

You're the man I never thought I'd meet.

- Who brought that?
- I don't know.

Looks like another present.

Lois, take it easy.
They probably just dropped it.

"Marrying Clark will be
the beginning of the end."

- Did you see anybody?
- Whoever brought that cake is long gone.

First the flowers and now this.

- What do you hear?
- The neighbor's radio.

And sources now report
thousands of lives are threatened...

...by the typhoon
smashing into the coast of India.

Go.

Stay here tonight, Lois.
Don't do anything foolish.

Nothing foolish.

Love you.

Hello?

Hi, Jimmy, what's up?

What about Dr. Mamba?

He checked in where?

The Metropolis Diamond Hotel.

Thanks.

Just doing my job.

It's not exactly foolish.

- Who is it?
- Lois Lane from the Daily Planet.

Excuse me. Don't you think
it's a little late for an...

Please, please, come in.

- I have a few questions.
- Take your coat?

- No. That's okay.
- Sit and make yourself comfortable?

- This looks comfortable.
- Well.

Maybe I can pour you
a glass of champagne?

- I'd really like to ask the questions.
- How about dinner. Room service?

Just the questions.

Just the questions.

Why would someone like you
be interested in amphibians?

Well, actually, I'm interested to know
if you have a dark blue rental car...

...license plate number MRC701?

I do have a dark blue car.

I also have three suits, two tuxedos,
three pairs of trousers, socks, shoes...

...and some undies.
Would you like to see them?

I'll pass.

- At 12:13 a.m...
- Yes?

...someone robbed
Phil's Exotic Pet Palace.

No.

They sent you out
on a story like that and pay you?

Well, the robber was driving
your dark blue rental car.

He was? Well...

...the valet service below could give
the car to anybody. I don't tip much.

So you know what it's like.

Well, he looked like he worked
for the Secret Service.

- Really? How interesting.
- Does that ring a bell?

Not even a tinkle.

You know, I've decided to spend
the evening in, and I thought maybe...

- ...you'd like to join me for a...
- Well...

- A listen to a little music?
- No. No.

Thank you though.

I have to go.

It's okay. It's okay.

You're a very beautiful woman.
Very sweet. Very intelligent.

You do do research with Doppelbuufo
frogs, don't you, Dr. Mamba?

What kind of frogs?

- Doppelbuufo.
- Doppelbuufo?

Well, you're as I said,
very intelligent and very beautiful.

Your keen sense should tell you that this
is a hotel suite and not a research lab.

Unfortunately, I'm off to bed
because it's getting late.

And I wanna wish you, au revoir.

Good night.

Did you hear that?

- Most of it.
- You had to get those frogs, didn't you?

Do you know how to spell "stupid"?
Y-O-U.

Now, she's gone.
I want you to follow her.

If she gets in a cab, follow in a cab.

See who she talks to.
If it looks like she's getting close at all...

...bring her back here.

Threatening gifts. Weird frogs.
My fiance is typhoon-fighting in India.

It's not even 8:00. What's next?

Lois, I'm not coming to your wedding.

What?

Your dad says I'm too controlling.
I'm driving you crazy.

I can't leave things alone.
So I am leaving things alone.

- Send photos.
- You are being unreasonable.

Unreasonable and controlling.

- Why didn't anyone mention that before?
- Well, I have repeatedly for years.

- And what did I say?
- That I shouldn't wear bangs.

That red isn't my color. That I've gained
weight. That I slouch when I stand.

Maybe you weren't listening.

I'm really that difficult?

- No wonder you turn to Martha.
- I do not turn to Martha.

Lois, I am unreasonable
and controlling, not blind.

Well, I would rather turn to you, Mother.
You're my mother.

Face it, you're not easy.

I know.

Mom.

Clark is the best thing in my life...

...and I almost missed him because
I was too busy controlling my work...

...my feelings, everything.

I got lucky.

He made me notice him.

I just wanted your wedding to be perfect.

Well, I'm marrying the man I love.
It is perfect.

All right. Well, maybe I have been
a little over-concerned but...

...you see, that a mother's job.
And if I let that go, what have I got left?

Everything you had before and more.

We'll be friends.

And I expect my friends at my wedding.

You are so manipulative.

- Well, I learned from the best.
- I love you.

- So where have you been, anyway?
- The story of my life: A story.

Do you think any of daddy's old medical
friends would know about a Dr. Mamba?

- I don't know. I suppose you could...
- Ask him?

That would be very low
on the idea meter.

- And people say I'm tough.
- Look.

He's not human. He's an alien.

Not all aliens are bad,
assuming there's such a thing.

Yes, they're bad. They eat your brains.

They abduct women
for bizarre sexual experiments.

- Bizarre? Like what?
- Like...

Neat.

Secret Service?
My God, we're going to prison.

I knew I recognized him.

He was there when we tried to check in.

- He's a clone.
- Like that's better than an alien?

Clark and I are working on a story
about some stolen frogs.

Frogs that are used in cloning
and accelerated-growth experiments.

This is one of those frogs.

He had accelerated healing.

And Dr. Mamba's here in Metropolis.
It all fits.

Lois, we're gonna pack
our bags right now.

We're gonna get a bus or a boat
and get the hell out of Dodge.

Oh, no.

GreenTech.
Doctor Mamba's corporation.

It's owned by OmniAgricultural,
a former division of LexCorp.

- Lex Luthor?
- Yeah.

He experimented with clones in the past.

And a former division of LexCorp
built the Metropolis Diamond Hotel.

He's had this whole thing wired
from the beginning.

Quit it.

Why would Lex clone
a Secret Service agent?

He's trying to kill the president.

- Come on, be there.
- Hello?

Hi, Martha, I'm sorry to wake you.
Is Clark there?

No, honey, he's not here.
I think he's still in India.

When he gets back, tell him that
Lex Luthor is trying to kill the president.

He's already made a clone of one Secret
Service agent, and I'm sure there's more.

Tell him to tell Superman
if he sees him before I do.

I'm gonna try and
warn the president. Bye.

But, Lois...

How will they ever find the time
to have some kids?

I'll call 911 from the car.
If he moves again, shoot him.

If Clark calls, tell him where I've gone.

If I don't see you before the wedding,
wear the teal outfit instead of the rose.

- It's much nicer.
- Okay.

Come on.

Phase three complete.

Fax this immediately.

I'm telling you. I have got to talk to him
before our deadline.

I have got to confirm this quote.
If I don't get it right...

...it will hurt his chances for reelection,
and you'll be out of jobs.

- Mr. President.
- Lois, you're up rather late.

- Let her in. It's an election year.
- Yes, sir.

Mr. President I have reason
to believe that Lex Luthor...

...is behind an attempt
to assassinate you.

What?

The problem is, I think the assassin could
be one of your Secret Service agents.

Or at least a clone of one of them.
One already tried to kidnap me tonight.

A clone? Lois, I must say,
this is fantastic. It's mind-boggling.

- Do you have any proof?
- Yes.

By now, the police
should have in custody...

- ...the clone that tried to kidnap me.
- You could examine him.

Lois, I insist you have dinner with me.

Handy things these secret passages.

Mr. Luthor certainly was farsighted
enough to have installed them.

You know, you had everything right
about this whole clone business...

...except one thing.
The assassination attempt.

We didn't have to.
We already got to the president.

He's a clone too.

No.

Pretty cool?

Superman.

- Get the president. He's a clone.
- Here, have it.

Lois, please.
What next, I started as a frog?

- She's telling the...
- Stop him.

Wait. I can prove it.
We don't have to get violent about this.

Lois, I sure hope
you know what you're doing.

Look at his lip.
Does that look human to you?

You can't even bleed properly?

Gentlemen, I think you'll find
the president waiting downstairs.

Come on, you.

Miss Lane, I believe
you have a wedding to prepare for.

That's right. I almost forgot.

You know, Lois being late,
that's a rule of nature.

But the Reverend Bob?
Where the sam hill is he?

- Probably practicing his routine.
- Don't even say that.

- Lois?
- Clark, go away. It's bad luck...

- ...to see the bride before the wedding.
- Come on, that's an old superstition.

Maybe it's not.
Maybe it's based on truth.

Considering all of the bad things
in our past, why risk it?

Lois. Lois?

I promise nothing is gonna happen, okay?

Mrs. Lane, I have a message from Lucy.

She's at the airport?
My God, we've gotta wait.

- Just my luck.
- Well, not exactly.

See. What happened?

She was running late for her plane...

...and set off the metal detector
when she went through.

I guess she got a bit frustrated
at the delay.

- Here it comes.
- She slugged a security guard.

She's in jail, and they won't
hear bail till Monday.

Your sister will be the death of me yet.

So...

...Cindy?

- I would be honored...
- Yes.

I'm afraid I have one
other bit of bad news.

- Reverend Bob can't make it.
- Are you kidding me?

He got a gig on a cruise ship
that sailed this morning.

He's trying to find a replacement.

He called me ship-to-shore
a few minutes ago.

Well, I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.

You know, Lex Luthor probably owns
the cruise line too.

Lois, honey,
we're gonna sort this out, okay?

Lex?

Why didn't I think of this?

He's probably the one
that sent me all those creepy gifts.

It's making him crazy
that I'm marrying you.

See, I knew something bad was gonna
happen, and it is happening in spades.

Lois, it's over, okay?

Lex is in prison, where he's gonna be
for the next 983 years, okay?

The only thing we have to do today
is get married.

Now, come on, let's get you dressed.

And I'll find a minister.

Normally, I wouldn't reveal this...

- ...but I can marry you.
- No way.

I am an ordained minister of the
First Church of Blue Suede Deliverance.

This is no time for bad jokes.
Reverend Bob was enough for a lifetime.

Ma'am, this is no joke.

Alice and I were down at Graceland
one time celebrating, and...

...I saw this on the inside
of a matchbook...

...at this little motel we were staying at
and, well, the rest is history.

- Perry, we'd be honored.
- Great.

I've been to enough weddings
where I know exactly what to say.

Sort of, you know, more or less.
Well, I'll just wing it.

Okay.

Come on, Jimmy.

Thank you, Clark.

Miss Lane? I need you to sign the
wedding license. It'll just take a minute.

- I already signed.
- Teacher's pet. Take this?

I haven't straightened your tie
since you were a little boy.

I love you.

Please be seated.

Friends, we're gathered here today...

...to join this man and this woman
in holy matrimony.

Marriage...

...well, it's a lot like a newspaper.

It takes a lot of hard work
to make it a success.

But if anybody can do it, you two can.

Jimmy, the ring.

Now, repeat after me.

I, Clark, take thee Lois...

...to love, honor and cherish
for as long as I live.

I, Clark, take thee Lois...

...to love, honor and cherish...

...for as long as I live.

Now, repeat after me.

I, Lois, take thee Clark...

...to love, honor and cherish
for as long as I live.

I, Lois, take thee Clark...

...to love, honor and cherish
for as long as I live.

Now, by the power vested in me
by this state...

...and the First Church
of Blue Suede Deliverance...

...I pronounce you husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

- This is LNN.
- LNN has just learned...

...that prison authorities
released Lex Luthor

this morning after they received...

...a presidential pardon for him.
Officials were unaware that the...

...pardon had been issued by the false
president. A search has begun...

...but Mr. Luthor remains at large.

- Lois! The bouquet, here!
- Don't forget to throw the bouquet.

Here it comes.

Just think, this time tomorrow,
we'll be in Hawaii.

Maybe we can just stay there.

You want it, you got it.

We'll eat coconuts every day.

I'll just go up and grab some
whenever we need more.

Sounds great.

Lois?

Is everything all right?

Stand by to be stunned.