All language subtitles for Dont.Give.Up.2021.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

(birds chirping)

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(door opens)

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(birds chirping)

- [Woman In Computer] Sounds exiting,

I won't tell her don't worry.

Promise it will just be our little secret.

- Hey hun.

- Hey.

- You come home straight from class?

- Yeah, where else would I be?

- I don't know, I thought you'd text me.

- You're too busy.

- What, look babe, I got you all around,

I'm gonna spike it and get you drunk.

Are you jealous or something baby?

- Maybe, maybe

- Honey, you know that you're my girl.

- I better be.

- Mm-hm you are. (laughs)

- Can you take that outside please?

My mom's coming tomorrow,
don't you remember?

- That's tomorrow?

- Yeah.

- What do you care if I smoke? You smoke.

- I don't smoke.

- Be who you are, baby.

You're Awesome.

- What?

- You're all snooty because
your mom is coming tomorrow.

- What?

- Nothing.
- What did you say?

- Jason come back here.

What are you mumbling about?

You're going on and on and on and on.

(door opening)

What did you say?

Jason, come back here, what did you say?

- Enough already.

Got the jerk neighbor
playing music all day,

and now you're nagging me.

(sighs)

I thought you didn't smoke.

What time are you going in tonight?

- I'm scheduled at five.

- I'm gonna have some people come over.

- No.
- Yes.

- Jason no.

- I need it.

(birds chirping)

(airy music)

(water running)

(birds chirping)

(door knocking)

- Crap, my mom.

(birds chirping)

Oh Jeez.

Stay here and stay quiet until we leave.

(door knocking)

(door opening)

Hey mom.

- Happy birthday dear.

Thank you mom.

- (laughs) You're welcome.

Did you forget?

- No, no, no, no.

Just give me a few minutes, come on.

- You're sure honey-
- Yes.

We can do this some other time.

- No, no, no, no, come on in,

come on in, I'm ready.
- Okay.

(door shuts)

- Hey mom, I'm really sorry,

I thought you were coming later.

- That's okay.

Looks like you had a
birthday party last night.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Amy nurses don't smoke.

- I know mom, they are
not mine, they're Jason's.

- Okay.

- Okay, let's go get some breakfast.

- All right.

(indistinct chatter)

You know your dad wanted to come,

and well, Jenny had practice.

- That's okay.

- Hey, how's school.

- It's good,

I'm just I'm ready for
this semester to be over,

you know, yeah.
(mom laughs)

- So do you have any plans

to work at the restaurant this summer?

- Probably, yeah.

- So no summer school?

- I don't know.

- Have you given any more thought

about going on vacation
with your dad and me?

- I don't know mom.

- Hey, this year we rented
a house on the beach.

I mean, not even near the beach,

it is on the beach.

And will really do you
a lot to good to go,

you should think about it.

- I don't know mom. (scoffs)

I just have so much going on right now.

(indistinct chatter)

- How's Jason?

- He's fine.

- Do you have any big birthday plans?

- I don't know.

Honestly, I think he forgot.

- Well, when he wakes up and
sees the gift and the cake,

I'm sure that will remind him.

- Mom, he's not living-
- Amy don't.

- I'm just ready for
life to start, you know?

- Can I tell you something honey,

it's already started.

(indistinct chatter)

(upbeat music)

- So you're working tomorrow?

- No, not tomorrow,

tomorrow is actually my birthday.

But I'll be here on Sunday.

- Are you asking me to
come back on Sunday?

- No, that depends on your tip.

(both chuckle)

- I'll tell you what, why
don't you come and see me.

The hotel I'm staying
at has a bar and lobby,

and I have a little mini bar in the room.

(upbeat music)

- Well, I don't know what my boyfriend

will have to say about this.

Between this place and nursing school,

I just don't think I have the time.

But I'm flattered, thank you.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)

(indistinct conversation)

- Jason, what are you doing?

(Jason mumbling)

- Get out of here, you're such a jerk.

- What are you talking about?

Would you just stop talking
to her about her job.

- Just go, I'm done, go.

- Come on.

- I thought we were happy. (scoffs)

You know, like a normal couple.

All I ever wanted was to be happy.

(eerie music)

Like on TV, happy and in love.

Jason was supposed to be
my knight in shining armor.

He was supposed to come and save me.

- [Counselor] Save you,
save you from what?

- Myself.

(eerie music)

(Amy crying)

- What a night,

Amy, what are you doing?

Come on.

- If you wanna be with her so bad,

just go be with her.

- Oh my God, would you stop?

Everyone was worried about you, come on.

- You're just such a loser.

Just get out, just leave.

- You are overreacting like usual, stop.

- I'm overreacting, you
practically had your tongue

down her throat last night.

- You are so blind.

She is a friend, just a friend.

You got plenty of guy friends,

you don't see me freaking out.

Now get a grip and come on.

- Don't you dare turn this around on me.

- Just a friend.

- Jason, you need to get out.
God you are unbelievable.

- Just shut up-

- No I'm not gonna calm down.

- Oh my God.
- No.

Ouch.

- Could you just calm down for once.

- Yeah, hello, I need the police.

I think my neighbor's
beating his girlfriend.

(birds chirping)

(door opening)

(door knock)

- You're unbelievable.

- No I want you out.
- There you see what you did?

- I want you out, leave.
- Calm down Amy.

Calm down
- Leave, just leave.

- Calm down Amy, just calm down.

Just gonna freak out now
look what's going on.

Hey officer.
- What's going on?

Nothing, nothing, I'm sure they called.

They're loud all the time.

We're just having an argument.

- Turn around, turn around.

- Turn around for what are you kidding me?

This is what you want Amy?

(Amy crying)

You're creep, you're gonna regret this.

(Amy crying)

- Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Stay safe.

- Thanks.

(birds chirping)

(door opens and shuts)

- That was the first time that he hit me,

(eerie music)

at least that I can remember.

After that it just kind of became routine.

I thought that,

that was his way of
showing me that he cared.

(water running)

I mean if he got angry
and he was showing emotion

then he must love me.

And I learned that any
kind any kind of attention

meant that somebody cares.

And that love has a
lot of different faces.

Ones that smile, ones
that laugh, ones that cry,

and ones that scream.

(eerie music)

(indistinct conversation)

(eerie music)

(indistinct argument)

And after Jason got arrested, he left me.

I don't know, maybe it was for the best.

I just felt so broken after he left,

hopeless and I just wanted to die.

I felt like a piece of me had died.

Anyway, not long after
that, I passed my finals

and I got a new roommate,

and I thought that that
was gonna fill the void.

And things were better for a while.

Marsha, that's my roommate,

she was a psychology major,

and she liked her privacy
so we got along just fine.

(airy music)

- Well, for a while.

- Hey, you okay?

- I'm fine.

I'm just going through
some summer clothes,

trying to get ready for the season.

- Well, what can I do tell you today?

- What?

- I just noticed you're a bit down.

And do you want to see a movie?

- No.

- This is really cute.

- I know what you're doing,

saying nice things, trying to be helpful.

- What?

- I took psychology in nursing school.

I don't need your help,
I'm not your patient.

(airy music)

And I thought about dating,
you know, on the rebound.

I thought maybe that would help.

(airy music)

(crowd cheering and laughing)

- So what, you wanna be
a loser your whole life?

Is that the kind of daughter I raised?

Get up.

(airy music)

(water running)

(Amy crying)

- Are you okay?

- [Amy] Go away.

(water running)

(Amy crying)

- [Inner voices] They hate
you, I hate you, I hate myself

you're all alone, everyone hates you.

Go away.

And then there was a friend at school

that gave me some pills,

and they told me that it
would take the edge off.

(airy music)

They helped for a little while.

(airy music)

I felt like I was living
in a dream or a nightmare.

I couldn't feel anything.

I was just numb.

(airy music)

I didn't feel alive, I didn't feel dead,

I was just existing.

(airy music)

So I started going to bars
every night and partying,

just doing whatever I
could to feel something.

I was just spiraling out of control.

I really didn't care whether I lived,

or whether I died.

(airy music)

- [Mom] Your major is?

- [Marsha] Psychology.

- [Mom] Phycology, well
what does this subject

have to do with your psychology?

- [Marsha] Well I'm taking sociology-

- [Mom] Oh I see.

- So what does this have
to do with your major?

- So your major is?

- Psychology.

- Psychology, okay, so
what does this have to do?

Hi honey.

I brought you girls some lunch.

I made chicken salad.

- Why are you here?

- I made you lunch.

- I'm not hungry.

- Honey, when was the last time you ate?

- Yesterday actually, I had some wings.

- You don't look too good,

you need to eat something.

- Gee, thanks mom.

- Listen, Amy, your dad and
I are worried about you.

- Why?

- Well, just sit down, eat.

- I told you will not hungry.

- We'll, just sit down so
I can talk to you, okay.

Thank you.

- Okay, mom, what's up?

- Well (clears throat)
there's really no easy way

to ask this but to just ask it.

The other night, when you stayed over,

well your dad's handgun
was in the nightstand,

it's missing.

(airy music)

(drawer opening)

- And you think I took it?

- Well, I don't know, I hope not.

- Geez mom, I'm not suicidal.

- I was not suggesting that you are.

- I'm not gonna kill myself.

- I don't know that.

Honey you don't understand,

depression is real.

It runs in our family.

You need to get some help.

- I'm not depressed.

What about Jenny?

Jenny could have taken it,

she's there with you all the time.

- She couldn't have taken it.

- What?

Who do you think you are?

What is going on here?

Who do you think you are
going through my stuff?

Y'all need to get out.

- No, you need to sit down.

Sit.

Now, you have two choices,

okay?

You can either go to our church and get-

- Church?
- Listen!

You either go to our
church and get some help,

or I call the police

and have you arrested for
stealing your father's gun?

- You wouldn't do that,

dad would never go for that.

- Oh yes he would, it was his idea.

- Where is he?

- Just listened to me Amy.

Just like you and your
dad suffered terribly

from depression when he was a young man.

Please.

- Mom I told you, I'm not depressed.

- You are a textbook case of depression.

- You need to shut up.

Didn't I tell you to leave.

- You go to the church,

and you talked to the pastor,

you talk to a counselor,

just talk to somebody who can help you.

(airy music)

(birds chirping)

- [Amy] Part of me knew my mom was right.

Maybe God was the answer.

I don't know.

I just know I needed a change.

I needed to change something in my life.

(birds chirping)

But then there was this part
of me that just couldn't do it.

(airy music)

It was strange.

It was like I had this
out of body experience,

and I could actually see myself.

(car engine roaring)

I could see myself run away.

(upbeat music)

- Are you okay?

- Excuse me ma'am, are you Amy Self?

- Yes.

- I'm Chief Officer of
the police department.

I have a warrant for your arrest,

Theft of a firearm from your family.

Stand up from your chair for me,

put you hand behind you back.

(Amy crying)

- This can't be happening,

I cant believe they
actually called the police.

(Amy crying)

(upbeat music)

- Hey Jason, Amy just got arrested,

you may need to pick her up at jail.

- Well, I did it,

I was officially a criminal.

I was arrested, charged with a felony,

my life had completely gone to hell.

(airy music)

It couldn't have gotten any worse.

I wish I had to use that gun.

They say that it's always
the darkest before the light,

well, my light came.

At least I thought it did.

- Hey.

- What are you doing here?

- I got a call from the
bar, what's going on?

- You shouldn't be here.

- Hey, listen, Amy, I love you.

I'm sorry.

I know that we are meant to be together,

just please give me another chance.

We could start our life.

Come on.

- Are you living out of your car?

- No I'm just busy,

I'll move stuff around, don't worry.

Come on.

(Any chuckles)

- What's that?

- My roommate's moving out.

- You're looking to rent a room?

- Please stop.

- What?

- Do you have any idea what happened?

Do you know what you put me through?

Jason almost killed myself,

I had my dad's gun.

- What.

- When you left, life went crazy,

I went crazy.

My parents went crazy,
they had me arrested.

Everybody was so worried about me.

And now you're here.

And what, you're just gonna leave again

for another 20 year old Tara

or Tory or whatever her name is.

- No I left her to be with you.

Why do you think all my
stuff was packed in my car.

When I heard you were in trouble,

I wanted to come and help you, rescue you.

I wanna be your knight in shining armor.

- But.

- We can do this, we can get through it.

We don't need your parents.

We can do this.

I'm here now.

- But-

- Okay?

- Okay.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

All right, good.
- I'm gonna go take a bath.

- Okay.

I'm gonna unpack and then
I will cook us dinner.

Then we can watch a movie and chill out.

and we'll figure it all out tomorrow.

- I have court tomorrow.

- We'll figure that out too.

- Okay.

- Okay.

(birds chirping)

- Hey neighbor, I'm back.

What's he going to do?

Call the cops again?

- Leave her alone.

- Hey you'll be seeing more of me boy.

(door opens and shuts)

(water running)

(Jason knocks)

- Honey, you okay?

- [Amy] Yeah, I'm fine.

- You sure?

- [Amy] Yes.

- You don't need any help
with your back, do you?

- [Amy] No, I said I'm fine.

- All right, okay.

- [Amy] But I wasn't fine.

Everything seemed like it was right again.

Jason was back.

My life was on the right track.

But I wasn't, my mind wasn't.

I felt that the slipping away,

(crying)

Slipping into a very dark place.

(eerie music)

A place of no return.

- Hi honey

- Hi mom.

- Your dad and I dropped the charges.

- Thank you.

- Can I speak to you alone for a moment?

- Yeah.

- I'm so sorry this all happened.

- I'm sorry too mom.

- Your dad isn't handling it too well.

- I'm not either.

- I'm sorry.

And what about Jason?

- He bailed me out.

- Is he moving in with you?

- Mom.

- Honey, you're twenty-five years old,

and you can make your own choices.

But I just want you to know

that I love you and your dad loves you.

And we will be here
for you no matter what.

Okay?

I wanted to talk to you
about your depression.

Honey please,

I've done my homework and
I suggest that you do too.

Depression isn't a sign
of weakness, honey.

You know what?

You can not "I'm fine" your way out of it.

Okay?

This horrible thing is a disorder.

It's a disease that runs in our family.

(airy music)

You see your father many years ago

had this disease, depression.

It was so severe, he turned to drinking.

I couldn't reach him, no one could.

He became violent, abusive.

We almost got a divorce.

The only thing that kept
us together was you.

Back then little was
known about depression,

we had few choices for help.

But one thing did help,

he found God.

God changed him into the man he is today,

a loving and caring man.

To this day, he carries
the guilt of your illness.

Please, please promise me,

you'll get some help, okay?

- Okay mom, I will.

- Okay honey. (sobs)

I love you so much baby.

- I love you too mom.

- Okay, I'll see you later.

- Okay.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- I'll you talk to you later, okay?

- Okay.

- I love you.

- I love you.

(airy music)

- [Amy] After my parents
dropped the charges,

I felt like this huge weight

had been lifted off my shoulders.

Jason and I planned to get married.

And then we got pregnant.

And we had a daughter,

and we named her Madison,
beautiful little girl.

She is the love of my life.

- Relax, it'll be great.

- Hey, check it out. (laughs)

Drinks for everybody, huh?

- Heavenly Father, thank you for this food

we're about to receive,

bless it to the nourishment of our bodies.

Lord, look over us.

Thank you for allowing us
this time of fellowship.

And please look over
at Amy and her friend,

and allow us this opportunity

to come together more frequently.

- Amen.

- We ask these things in your name.

- I finally felt like
my depression was gone,

replaced with love.

(gentle music)

I finally felt like my
life was worth living,

like I had something to live for.

I had Jason and I had
Madison and we had a home.

What could possibly go wrong?

- Oh man, that's awesome.

Nope I can handle it, I promise.

No I can do it.

Hey brother, thanks for the opportunity.

Yeah, no, cool, see you.

You're not gonna believe this,

Mark has opened up a
new store of short pump,

and he's gonna ask me to manage it.

Pretty cool, huh.

Whoa, yes, oh yes.

- Jason that's for Madison.

- She's my kid too.

- Jason give that to me.

- No chill out, stop.

- We need that money.

- What she need it for?

- No we need the money.

- All right, time for celebration drinks.

(door shutting)

(birds chirping)

- Grandma, this ones dead.

- No I think there's still
some life in there. (chuckles)

Plants have brains.

Did you know that?

You see, they really only
decide when they want sprout.

And some sprout too early and some wait.

In fact, as they grow,
they react to the size

and the strength of
the plant next to them.

They decide how best to survive

by what's happening around them.

Does that make sense honey?

(birds chirping)

- Moms here baby.

- Hey sweetie.

Hi, did you have a good day with grandma?

- We did.
- Yay.

- You know Amy, she's
welcome to stay here anytime,

if you think it's a good idea.

- What are you saying mom?

- We have the room and
that would give you guys

some time to work things out.

- Everything's fine.

- Are you sure?
- But I appreciate it.

Thank you.

- Bye honey.
Say bye to grandma.

- It's so nice to have you
here, I love you so much.

Next time we'll have some greases.

- Yay, lets go see daddy.

Bye grandma.

- Bye bye sweetie.

I love you.

(gentle music)

(birds chirping)

- Oh, hey babe.

- Jason.

- Hey babe, change of plans.

- Hey sweetie, go inside.

Hey sweetie, mommy will be right in.

- The store is actually down in Danville.

- Danville.

- It'll be about three months.

Mark wants me to take control of it.

See the store has all these problems,

and he wants for you to handle it.

- It's four hours away.

- I'll come home every weekend.

- We need to talk about this.

I'm working two jobs,
your daughter, Madison-

- Amy, this is an opportunity
for me to get my own store.

Okay, he wants me to take control of it.

I'll come home on the weekend,

it's not like I see you
during the week anyway.

- I know that you're leaving us,

and you didn't even talk to me about it.

- I'm not leaving you.

You said we needed the money alright?

Well, this is the chance.

They're putting me up in my own hotel,

you guys can come down some weekends.

Amy, I have to do this.

- No, I can't believe you.

Jason never came home on the weekends.

In fact, he never came home at all.

And there I was right
back where I had started.

Losing him, losing my daughter,

loosing in my mind.

This disease was my only companion.

But there were my parents,

coming into my rescue once again.

They insisted that Madison
that I move in with them.

And so we did.

(gentle music)

- Amy, I am so glad you're here.

- And this little princess
is gonna take my room.

(both laugh)

- Listen, Amy, your dad
and I have a deal for you.

If you go back to nursing
school, we'll pay for it.

- Wow, thanks mom.

- Okay.

Hey you, let's go downstairs
and have some lunch,

grandma's gonna put some
meat on your bones. (laughs)

(gentle music)

(water running)

- Today I learned that regret

and change are well like the same thing.

I needed a change, but
I was feeling so ugly

and like I just didn't deserve it.

This was my Robert Frost moment in life.

You know the two roads
diverged in the woods.

(door knock)

- Amy, honey, are you awake?

Amy I brought you some food hun.

(eerie music)

(Amy crying)

(water running)

- Honey, please get up.

I'm going to the store,

do you need anything?

I'm taking Madison with me.

(door shuts)

Amy Self, you get out of that bed.

- What time is it?

- It's one o'clock.

- It's too early mom, I need sleep.

- Amy, you get out of that bed right now.

Now you come downstairs.

Take a shower, I have lunch.

(door shuts)

- What are we gonna do?

- I don't know.

- God help her please.

(gentle music)

(Amy crying)

(keys jingling)

(engine roaring)

(Amy crying hysterically)

- After that incident,

my parents kicked me out,

and they told me that
they were keeping Madison

until I got some help.

Help, there's only one thing

that can help someone like me.

(Amy crying)

(airy music)

(water running)

(eerie music)

(inner voices talking)

- [Dad] It's okay sweetheart, get back up

keep working on it, you'll get it.

(airy music)

- Plants have brains, did you know that?

They decide when it's time to sprout,

some sprout early and some sprout later.

And you can see as they grow,

how they react to the plants around them.

They decide the best way
to survive in this world.

Amy, it's time for you to do the same.

You need to decide,

do you wanna live or do you wanna die?

(airy music)

- Amy.

- Mom.

- Amy, how you feeling?

- Mom, I'm sorry.

- Oh, sweetie.
- I'm so sorry mom.

- It's okay.

I'm so glad you're okay.

- Mom I saw her.

- You saw who honey?

- I saw her grandma.

We were in the garden and she
told me that it was my choice

whether or not I wanted to live or die.

She told me that I had to choose.

Mom, I wanna live.

- Well, your grandmother
was always a very wise mom.

- Mom.

- Yes sweetie.

- I wanna start going to
church with you and dad.

- Church, church. (chuckles)

- Yes.

- Amy, you sure you're feeling okay.

- I am now.

(both laugh)

- I love you honey.
- I love you too mom.

(birds chirping)

- Thank you grandma.

(upbeat music)

- Oh, hi.

Your mom said you might be stopping by.

I'm pastor Dale,

I'm glad you're here.

- I have made a mess. (chuckles)

I am not sure why my mom
stood by me like she did.

- We pray for you at every service.

You know Proverb says, "Train up a child

the way they should go,

and when they grow old, they
will not depart from it."

It's that message, that
promise that brought you here.

- Now what?

- Well, you know, Amy,

God can use your past
for the new opportunity.

I fully believe that.

So um, tell you what, here's my card,

you call me about anything, anytime.

- Anytime?

- Anytime.

- Well, I like to talk.

(both laugh)

- Well, I have about 10, 15 minutes.

- That sounds great.

- Excellent, let's go sit
down and be comfortable.

- It was a slow journey.

Pastor Dale was amazing.

Did I struggle?

You bet, but I would
call him and we'd talk.

(phone ringing)

I'd be upset and we'd talk.

He never didn't answer. (chuckles)

And then I started
volunteering with the teens.

I finally found my purpose
in life, to help others.

To help others that have suffered

from the same conditions
that I've suffered from.

Depression, anxiety, no self worth.

You see, for so many years,
I thought I was alone.

I thought I was crazy, worthless,

and I really wanted to die.

But I learned that I am not alone.

That there are thousands, millions

of people every day that
suffer from this illness.

And just like my grandmother
helped me to see the light,

I want to help others see the light.

I wanna help people through
love and understanding,

and God.

You see you are not alone,

and if you believe in yourself,

others are gonna believe in you too.

And just when I thought that
life couldn't get any better,

that's when I met him.

- Hi, what's your name?

- I'm Tom and this is Josh.

- I'm josh.

- Hi, it's nice to meet you, Josh and Tom.

Welcome to our end of
summer blast all-nighter.

Why don't you go have some fun.

- Go and have some fun, have fun.

- He's so cute.

How old is Josh?

- He just turned 16.

- Oh, wow.
- Do you have any more kids?

- Oh, he's not mine, I don't have kids.

- But who is he?

- Just some kid I met on the street.

No, he's my neighbor, and
I heard about this event,

so I thought he might enjoy it.

- That's awesome.

So you go here?

- Yeah, Yeah,

I just started, I go to the early service.

- Why?

- I like to start-
- No I'm just kidding.

- Oh, well, I like to start
my day early, shame on you.

- [Man] Come on you two.

Tom was a wonderful man.

That was the first night that we hung out,

with a bunch of teenagers
and it was a blast.

I never saw it coming.

It was all new,

it was something so different.

- Wow, its perfect.

- There's a desk hidden
somewhere back there.

(all laugh)

And the good news is, my
office is right down the hall,

so you don't have to call me.

- Thank you.

- One last thing.

(upbeat music)

- I like it.

- It's a start.

- It's a good start.

Well, let's get this place cleaned up,

Amy Self Women's Ministries.

- Okay.

- Lets roll up our sleeves.

(upbeat music)

(indistinct chatter)

- [Counselor] Well, I'm afraid
of our time is up for today.

- Oh, wow,

I guess time really does fly.

Thank you for everything,
for listening to my story.

You've been a big help.

Bigger than you can imagine.

- [Counselor] Would you like
to schedule another session?

- No, I don't think I'll be back.

Besides have a wedding to catch.

- [Counselor] Oh really, whose?

- Mine.

(upbeat music)

(upbeat music)