All language subtitles for Brody.Stevens.Enjoy.It.S01E06_English

Is this a prank?
It's not. I'm doing it.

Oh, then it's official,
it's not a prank.

I call-- I asked,
it's not a prank!

I got Conan.

It's my friend joking around.

Ask him when and where.

Um, when and where?
That's all I need to know.

Okay, I'll talk to the booker.
Thanks.

How did you get Conan?
That's great.

I've just been working on my
stand-up. I wanted to get back.

I have a relationship with
a lot of the guys over there.

I felt as though that'd
be a good start to get
back into comedy.

Why not come back with--

What's your first joke?

Yes!

That's pretty good.

Uh, I'm gonna do some classics,
like "I've done a lot
of modeling in Serbia."

Serbia.
I drive a 1996 Toyota Avalon.

Leather exterior.
I don't live with my mother.

I live with my sister...
My sister...

in a condominium owned
by my mother.
owned by my mother.

So you know these jokes.

Well, it's pretty easy
to memorize.

You've been doing it since 1994.

Ready? One, two, and three...

Yes!

( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

Enjoy it!

In many ways, a comeback
is more difficult than the
actual episode itself.

But I feel I've done that,
through doing Chelsea Lately.

Doing the Conan Show,
exercising, yoga, therapy.

All that stuff.

Yes, I'm doing Conan
coming up, yes.

So tell me how that is.
How are you preparing for that?

I have to put a set together.
I have to basically do that.

I've done stand-up on TV before.

I've done seven or eight
spots on TV.

Not for a while. Not for
probably five or six years.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, so you go on Conan,
you crush it.

Yeah.
Then what happens?

Maybe somebody sees me and goes,
"That guy's funny.

"I want him to audition
for a sitcom."

Or, "That guy's funny,
I want to give him an
opportunity for a TV show."

Or in a movie.

I mean, other people have done
it before, so I'm not really
scared of success...

if that's what--

I'm sensing some doubt.

Well, I mean, I can't say the
set's gonna go well until
I do the set.

You know, I can't go
100 percent, go,
"Yes, I'm gonna crush it."

Are you second guessing
yourself at all?

No.

So, when you see me on there,
what kind of jokes do you want
to see me do?

You remember any of my bits?

I probably would if you told me.
I can't tell you off-hand.

I'll probably talk about how
I went for a swim out
in Venice Beach...

and I clogged the drain.

I talked about how I booked...

another movie.

I did book another movie, Mom.

You did?
Yeah, it's an adult video.

You're supposed to laugh.
All right, that's off the list.

I didn't-- I didn't laugh
at that.

Maybe you should get up on stage
and start performing these jokes
for an audience.

Well, I've been getting up, I've
been going to the youth hostel.

I've been going to the
Comedy Store.

I've been going to Vancouver.

I've been going all over,
trying to get my stuff down.

Do they laugh at all these
jokes?
No.

Help me out, please.

Unbelievable!

I mean, last night, I'm getting
laughs, tonight you're playing
hardball with me.

I-- I get frustrated, then they
laugh at my frustration.

Stay with me and give me a
chuckle based on cadence alone.

It takes time just to get used
to my beats and my patterns.

It would have been better if you
saw what I was trying to do...

but you're bullying me, like
they did at Reseda High School.

I fought a Crip in 1987.

I pulled her hair.

You're doing good... on
frustration.

Yeah, I'm the frustration
comedian.

I like that.
You like that?

That's funny.
Will Conan like it?

I don't know.

You think I'm gonna
do okay on this show?

It seems like I might not
be doing all right.

No, you'll be doing all right
if you get some jokes.

Okay, this is part
of the process.

Having your mom tell you
that you're not funny.

And you need jokes, and you're
gonna bomb on the Conan Show.

I didn't--
Thank you.

I didn't say all that,
but that is funny.

Just chuckle.

[BLEEP], comedy's hard.

Just get some more jokes.

I get lonely, sometimes I go
down to the batting cage.

Yeah.
Just to play catch.

Yeah, that's funny, too.
Okay, good.

Two out of seven, not bad.
Yeah, yeah.

And I better have some new ones
by the time April rolls around.

Am I decent looking? Yes,
I've done a lot of modeling
in Pakistan.

I'm currently on the cover
of Camel Beat.

Put your hands together right
now for Brody Stevens.

Very intense,
I get B.O. in the shower.

This is what's important
to me right now!

This set at this very moment.

Positive energy turned into
pushing and it turned
into believing.

And it's push and believe right
now, that's where I'm at,
I push and I believe.

I work out, I bench pressed
250 pounds recently...
at Curves.

Steven Brody, Steven Brody,
Steven Brody.

43,000 followers on Twitter,
unbelievable numbers.

And you just go for it,
and you trust your instincts.

That's commitment.

That's positivity.

TBS, The Brody Stevens,
preparing to do Conan.

Do your friends think I'm funny?

Do my friends think you're
funny?
Yeah.

Yes and no.

Why no? How dare they?

It's the same thing I think.

I think
you're funny up to a point...

and then I don't
get the comedy after that.

What?

I'm funny up to a point.

Well, and then sometimes
you go over the edge.

That's what comedy is all about,
going over the edge.

Pushing it to another level.
So this is your deal here.

Um, you didn't do this
when we were growing up.

You were more into--

Well, I didn't do the beading
when we were growing up.

Yes, you did, you did do
beating, you beat me.

That's true, but you
deserved it... occasionally.

Stephanie, I was a good brother.

You were, for the most part.

You know I'm
in The Hangover, right?

You are?
Yeah.

I didn't see that movie.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2,
Due Date, cut out
of Funny People.

Is this the kind of stuff that
we may see at a department store
one day?

No.
Stephanie, you gotta
get out there...

I mean, do you want
to make more money?

Do you want to be known?

Well, that's probably not
exactly the title I would be
looking for, but--

What's your title?
What do you go by?

No?

I'm telling you, you could
really be making some
good money...

and you don't need to be stuck
in Mom's condo anymore.

I think you can...
with the jewelry.

That's a lot of jewelry sets.

Yes, if you're just joining us,
I'm Steven Brody Stevens.

This is the Steven Brody Stevens
Sister Collection.

I'm here with my co-host, Sonya.

This is stuff handcrafted
by my sister Stephanie.

We've got bracelets.

We've got-- we've got bracelets.

We've got-- what are these
called?

MAN (O.S.):
Um...

The turquoise is what gets me.

I'm always pulled in
to the turquoise.

A lot of people think
turquoise...

glows in the dark, it may.

Right.

If I'm going hiking
in the woods late at night...

you don't need reflectors.

You got turquoise as you're
walking the streets at night.

You don't want to be hit
by a car.

People on the freeway used to...

go, "Hey, I see you...

"and I like you."

You're like
a deer in the headlights.

If you see this, you stop.

That's right,
the important thing about it...

it's a way to attract truckers.

My family is from the southwest.

We were the pioneering
Jews of New Mexico.

Can you imagine if this was
selling at truck stops?

This is Phoenix...

Tucson, New Mexico...

El Paso, Texas. I mean...

just look how beautiful...

it is on the body.

This is elegant.

This is something that's gonna..

help you attract a mate.

And you're not gonna die alone.

Hmm.

Does your sister wear this line?

Uh, I don't ' know,
I haven't really noticed.

The Stephanie Sister
Collection jewelry.

Necklaces, wristbands...

earrings, Sonya. Yes!

Order now.

Operators are standing by.

BRODY (O.S.):
Yes! Feeling good about myself.

Positive energy always wins.

Conan's a cakewalk compared
to what I've been through
in stand-up.

It's easy.

A year ago today, I was at South
by Southwest defending myself.

I'm doing my thing, I got good
rapport with the crowd...

a small nucleus,
maybe 20 percent of them.

That's not a good ratio.

You're saying it like
you're bragging about it.

Yeah, I connect with 20 percent.
What's wrong with that?

So connected with 20 percent
of the audience...

and as the afternoon moved on,
they would walk in and go...

"What's going on? This guy
is being different and we
don't get it."

and this one guy,
who was like a stoner-type...

a hesher type if you will...

came up to me. I go,
"Hey, how are you doing?
Are you in a band?"

He goes, "You suck, this guy
[BLEEP] sucks. This dude's
not funny."

Talking about me, pointing
to me, and I kept going.

I didn't get mad at that point.

I let him say that.

What did the crowd do?

They cheered.

And then about five minutes
later, I'm talking to the crowd
off on the side of the stage.

The same guy comes up
from behind me and rips
the mic out of my hands...

throws it across the room,
nearly hitting a couple people.

Unbelievable vandalism
right there.

He should be written
up for that... a citation.

And then walks off like
nothing happens.
( ZACH LAUGHS )

So, I followed him
down a hallway...

because he walked away like...

"This guy ain't gonna do
anything. He's just a pussy
comedian."

Sorry, buddy.

I play baseball.
I work out.

Kettlebells, cardio, confidence.

South by Southwest, Brody,
you got it, I'm there doing
a good job.

I charged him like a UFC
fighter, mixed martial arts...

throwing elbows, throwing knees,
front-kicking.

And then from behind me,
I start getting punched.

I thought it was his friend,
but it was the bouncer.

They broke us up and then
I said I want more.

I took my tambourine and
I threw it at the guy
with passion and purpose...

like when I was pitching.

The Three Ps: Passion, passion--

Pitching, pressure, powerful,
passion, punching.

You shouldn't have d--
bottom line, he was wrong.

How did the tambourine move,
though, how did that work?

That was more of a throw.

But how did you throw the
tambourine?

You know-- you know
how to throw a tambourine.

Right.

So, yeah, that was a year ago.

From South by Southwest,
getting attacked, now
I'm on Conan O'Brien.

I am going places.

Hello?
Hi.

Oh, hi, Stephanie.
Hello.

Great to see you.
Great to see you.

Come on in.

Are you nervous about today?
Tonight with Conan?

A little bit, I'm nervous
in a sense that they may
not get me...

or they may not like me
or I'll mess up,
but you know what?

That's just normal...
Right.

thoughts that probably all
comedians go through.

You know, Mom's happy,
look at her, she's smiling.

She's excited.
She's seen her two children.

Sitting six inches apart.

Sitting six inches apart
on a made air mattress.

STEPHANIE (O.S.):
Did you ever think
you'd see this day?

No, I didn't.

CAMERA (O.S.)
Why?

Because they're always
so far apart.

So, um, in honor of your taping
of Conan...

so I made you like
a little good-luck bracelet.

You did?
I did.

So, it's one of these ones that
pulls, so you want to try it on?

Yeah.

But I don't know if you'll
need to take your hospital
bracelet off.

I want to take off
the hospital bracelet.

I've been waiting to cut it off.

Yeah, why do you still
have it on?

Ah, just a reminder
of where I was at.

Why do you want to be
reminded all the time?

Just remind-- reminds me
of what I went through.

Let's cut this thing off,
Stephanie. Mom, we're doing it.

Okay, good.

We are doing it.

Well, this is--

It's kind of like not working.

You have to have leverage
with one full hand.

Just don't cut the br--
you're gonna cut the--

Stephanie, I know that.

Mazel tov.
Good, good.

It's off.
All right, that's good.

Not there anymore.

Short sleeves on Conan,
let's do this.

( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING )

Little nervous, it's a different
audience, it's a different set.

It's a different vibe,
it's a different night.

You know, my kind of set
is different.

My kind of set moves in and out.

Sometimes it doesn't work.

You have to pick yourself up
and push through.

Feel those moments
of hurt almost.

It's their fault.

Good luck. Break a leg.
Thank you, Stephanie.

Good luck.

I will break my legs.

My next guest
is a talented comedian...

who's been seen in films such
as The Hangover and The Hangover
Part 2.

Please welcome the very
funny Brody Stevens.

( BAND PLAYING )
( AUDIENCE CHEERING )

Thank you, thank you very much.

I know many of you are trying
to figure out where I was
in The Hangover.

I was not the monkey.

BRODY (O.S.):
People, give me something,
I'm telling you...

I'm from the Valley.
818 'til I die. Yes!

Positive energy, feeling good.

Very intense, I get B.O. in the
shower.

Sensitive skin, at night
I wear moon block.

Guys, great news,
I booked another movie.

Uh, it's an adult video
out in Chatsworth.

Doing a solo scene
on a yoga mat.

BRODY (O.S.):
If you hear laughs there...

join in over there.

Let's get this thing going.

I've done table reads
on this lot.

I'm doing well,
I'm getting laughs.

Many of you are DVR-ing this,
it's positive.

Uh, but I get lonely, you know.

Sometimes I go down
to the batting cage,
just to play catch.

A lot of people say, "Brody,
you live with your mother."

BRODY (O.S.):
And I don't live with my mother,
that's a lie.

I live with my sister, in a
condominium owned by my mother.

My sister was abusive,
she beat me up, true story.

Growing up, she beat me up.

She spit on me,
threw keys at me...

beat me with a pan, and you're
saying, "Brody, what beatings
hurt the most?"

The beatings with the keys.
Yeah. Why, you ask?

Because my sister was a janitor.

BRODY (O.S.):
That's a lot of keys.

Guys, thank you very much,
I had a great time.

Positive energy. Yes!

Very funny! Thanks-

I'm back, I did it.
Yay! You did great!

You did great.
That was good.

I did it.
Yeah, you did great.

That was good.
You did great. Really!

Really?
Yeah, yeah.

It feels good to be over with.

Yeah, you did great.

Really. You got laughs.

Conan was nice at the end.

What did he say at the end?

Good job, really good job.

You know, it's not like I go
out every night and have
rocking sets.

You know, I have hard
times a lot of the time.

My life was in shambles and then
I got it back together...

with the help of my mom, my
sister, my friends, therapy...

and I said I want
to get back on TV.

I want to prove to myself
I can do comedy.

Now I'm already thinking,
what's the next thing?

CAMERA (O.S.):
What is the next thing?

I don't know what the next thing
is to be honest with you.

I just kind of wanna sit back
and enjoy that I did a good job.

I stepped up to the plate...

you know, and knocked it
out of the ballpark.

( CROWD APPLAUDS )

Very funny.
Thank you, Conan.

Positive energy.
Positive energy. Yes!

Brody Stevens,
ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

Yes, it is a game changer.

Will my Conan spot give Todd
Phillips the confidence to book
me in Hangover 3?

That's the question.

CAMERAS (O.S.):
You know, Conan O'Brien
just said positive energy.

I know.
On air.

Yeah, positive energy, yes!

Yes, Conan O'Brien
buying into it.

I mean, honestly, I didn't think
it was gonna go that well.

I thought I'd do
either real bad or okay.

STEPHANIE (O.S.):
That's not positive energy.

I know. I know it's not
positive energy.

Real bad, but who cares?

You know, I put my work in,
like I said.

You know, at the very least,
no matter how I feel.

I feel like I'm not
connecting with you guys.

Shame on you for trying
to bring me down.

I'm funny, I'm funnier
than my material.

And thank you to my mother,
this was for you...

and for all the hot chicks
who said no to me,
I've made it.

Enjoy it! Yes!

It's Brody overlooking
the Valley.

Hey, Valley, it's Brody
and I'm doing wonderful.

You help me. I help you.

I was at the bottom of the hill
and I climbed back up...

and I see that I went
through a lot of problems...

but I didn't quit,
I grabbed on to branches...

to shrubbery, to animals, to
rocks, pulling me up saying...

"Yes! We can do this. Let me
inspire you."

The bone is strongest
where it was once fractured.

I'm eating apples.
I'm eating bananas.

I'm drinking a lot of water.

I only do two cups
of coffee a day.

I've got a resume.
I've got a website.
( SCOOTER HORN BEEPS )

I've got e-mail.
I've got Gmail.
( BEEPING CONTINUES )

Zach! Come on, man!
Let's go.

I'm at my point now where
I really connect and bring
them in.

It's all about you,
all about Zach.

No, no, it's not.

You get the helmet.
What do I get?

Where to?

UCLA Psych Ward.

You ready?
I have to see someone.

You read everybody's mind.

they found this head
in the park in a paper bag...

and Mom hadn't heard
from you for two days.

So, you really thought
for a second--

I didn't.
She wasn't sure.

She asked me what park you went
to, I said I don't know.
It crossed my mind.

Of my head being in a paper bag.

Oh, great.