Original subtitles

Is this a prank? It's not. I'm doing it.

Oh, then it's official, it's not a prank.

I call-- I asked, it's not a prank!

I got Conan.

It's my friend joking around.

Ask him when and where.

Um, when and where? That's all I need to know.

Okay, I'll talk to the booker. Thanks.

How did you get Conan? That's great.

I've just been working on my stand-up. I wanted to get back.

I have a relationship with a lot of the guys over there.

I felt as though that'd be a good start to get back into comedy.

Why not come back with--

What's your first joke?

Yes!

That's pretty good.

Uh, I'm gonna do some classics, like "I've done a lot of modeling in Serbia."

Serbia. I drive a 1996 Toyota Avalon.

Leather exterior. I don't live with my mother.

I live with my sister... My sister...

in a condominium owned by my mother. owned by my mother.

So you know these jokes.

Well, it's pretty easy to memorize.

You've been doing it since 1994.

Ready? One, two, and three...

Yes!

( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

Enjoy it!

In many ways, a comeback is more difficult than the actual episode itself.

But I feel I've done that, through doing Chelsea Lately.

Doing the Conan Show, exercising, yoga, therapy.

All that stuff.

Yes, I'm doing Conan coming up, yes.

So tell me how that is. How are you preparing for that?

I have to put a set together. I have to basically do that.

I've done stand-up on TV before.

I've done seven or eight spots on TV.

Not for a while. Not for probably five or six years.

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay, so you go on Conan, you crush it.

Yeah. Then what happens?

Maybe somebody sees me and goes, "That guy's funny.

"I want him to audition for a sitcom."

Or, "That guy's funny, I want to give him an opportunity for a TV show."

Or in a movie.

I mean, other people have done it before, so I'm not really scared of success...

if that's what--

I'm sensing some doubt.

Well, I mean, I can't say the set's gonna go well until I do the set.

You know, I can't go 100 percent, go, "Yes, I'm gonna crush it."

Are you second guessing yourself at all?

No.

So, when you see me on there, what kind of jokes do you want to see me do?

You remember any of my bits?

I probably would if you told me. I can't tell you off-hand.

I'll probably talk about how I went for a swim out in Venice Beach...

and I clogged the drain.

I talked about how I booked...

another movie.

I did book another movie, Mom.

You did? Yeah, it's an adult video.

You're supposed to laugh. All right, that's off the list.

I didn't-- I didn't laugh at that.

Maybe you should get up on stage and start performing these jokes for an audience.

Well, I've been getting up, I've been going to the youth hostel.

I've been going to the Comedy Store.

I've been going to Vancouver.

I've been going all over, trying to get my stuff down.

Do they laugh at all these jokes? No.

Help me out, please.

Unbelievable!

I mean, last night, I'm getting laughs, tonight you're playing hardball with me.

I-- I get frustrated, then they laugh at my frustration.

Stay with me and give me a chuckle based on cadence alone.

It takes time just to get used to my beats and my patterns.

It would have been better if you saw what I was trying to do...

but you're bullying me, like they did at Reseda High School.

I fought a Crip in 1987.

I pulled her hair.

You're doing good... on frustration.

Yeah, I'm the frustration comedian.

I like that. You like that?

That's funny. Will Conan like it?

I don't know.

You think I'm gonna do okay on this show?

It seems like I might not be doing all right.

No, you'll be doing all right if you get some jokes.

Okay, this is part of the process.

Having your mom tell you that you're not funny.

And you need jokes, and you're gonna bomb on the Conan Show.

I didn't-- Thank you.

I didn't say all that, but that is funny.

Just chuckle.

[BLEEP], comedy's hard.

Just get some more jokes.

I get lonely, sometimes I go down to the batting cage.

Yeah. Just to play catch.

Yeah, that's funny, too. Okay, good.

Two out of seven, not bad. Yeah, yeah.

And I better have some new ones by the time April rolls around.

Am I decent looking? Yes, I've done a lot of modeling in Pakistan.

I'm currently on the cover of Camel Beat.

Put your hands together right now for Brody Stevens.

Very intense, I get B.O. in the shower.

This is what's important to me right now!

This set at this very moment.

Positive energy turned into pushing and it turned into believing.

And it's push and believe right now, that's where I'm at, I push and I believe.

I work out, I bench pressed 250 pounds recently... at Curves.

Steven Brody, Steven Brody, Steven Brody.

43,000 followers on Twitter, unbelievable numbers.

And you just go for it, and you trust your instincts.

That's commitment.

That's positivity.

TBS, The Brody Stevens, preparing to do Conan.

Do your friends think I'm funny?

Do my friends think you're funny? Yeah.

Yes and no.

Why no? How dare they?

It's the same thing I think.

I think you're funny up to a point...

and then I don't get the comedy after that.

What?

I'm funny up to a point.

Well, and then sometimes you go over the edge.

That's what comedy is all about, going over the edge.

Pushing it to another level. So this is your deal here.

Um, you didn't do this when we were growing up.

You were more into--

Well, I didn't do the beading when we were growing up.

Yes, you did, you did do beating, you beat me.

That's true, but you deserved it... occasionally.

Stephanie, I was a good brother.

You were, for the most part.

You know I'm in The Hangover, right?

You are? Yeah.

I didn't see that movie.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2, Due Date, cut out of Funny People.

Is this the kind of stuff that we may see at a department store one day?

No. Stephanie, you gotta get out there...

I mean, do you want to make more money?

Do you want to be known?

Well, that's probably not exactly the title I would be looking for, but--

What's your title? What do you go by?

No?

I'm telling you, you could really be making some good money...

and you don't need to be stuck in Mom's condo anymore.

I think you can... with the jewelry.

That's a lot of jewelry sets.

Yes, if you're just joining us, I'm Steven Brody Stevens.

This is the Steven Brody Stevens Sister Collection.

I'm here with my co-host, Sonya.

This is stuff handcrafted by my sister Stephanie.

We've got bracelets.

We've got-- we've got bracelets.

We've got-- what are these called?

MAN (O.S.): Um...

The turquoise is what gets me.

I'm always pulled in to the turquoise.

A lot of people think turquoise...

glows in the dark, it may.

Right.

If I'm going hiking in the woods late at night...

you don't need reflectors.

You got turquoise as you're walking the streets at night.

You don't want to be hit by a car.

People on the freeway used to...

go, "Hey, I see you...

"and I like you."

You're like a deer in the headlights.

If you see this, you stop.

That's right, the important thing about it...

it's a way to attract truckers.

My family is from the southwest.

We were the pioneering Jews of New Mexico.

Can you imagine if this was selling at truck stops?

This is Phoenix...

Tucson, New Mexico...

El Paso, Texas. I mean...

just look how beautiful...

it is on the body.

This is elegant.

This is something that's gonna..

help you attract a mate.

And you're not gonna die alone.

Hmm.

Does your sister wear this line?

Uh, I don't ' know, I haven't really noticed.

The Stephanie Sister Collection jewelry.

Necklaces, wristbands...

earrings, Sonya. Yes!

Order now.

Operators are standing by.

BRODY (O.S.): Yes! Feeling good about myself.

Positive energy always wins.

Conan's a cakewalk compared to what I've been through in stand-up.

It's easy.

A year ago today, I was at South by Southwest defending myself.

I'm doing my thing, I got good rapport with the crowd...

a small nucleus, maybe 20 percent of them.

That's not a good ratio.

You're saying it like you're bragging about it.

Yeah, I connect with 20 percent. What's wrong with that?

So connected with 20 percent of the audience...

and as the afternoon moved on, they would walk in and go...

"What's going on? This guy is being different and we don't get it."

and this one guy, who was like a stoner-type...

a hesher type if you will...

came up to me. I go, "Hey, how are you doing? Are you in a band?"

He goes, "You suck, this guy [BLEEP] sucks. This dude's not funny."

Talking about me, pointing to me, and I kept going.

I didn't get mad at that point.

I let him say that.

What did the crowd do?

They cheered.

And then about five minutes later, I'm talking to the crowd off on the side of the stage.

The same guy comes up from behind me and rips the mic out of my hands...

throws it across the room, nearly hitting a couple people.

Unbelievable vandalism right there.

He should be written up for that... a citation.

And then walks off like nothing happens. ( ZACH LAUGHS )

So, I followed him down a hallway...

because he walked away like...

"This guy ain't gonna do anything. He's just a pussy comedian."

Sorry, buddy.

I play baseball. I work out.

Kettlebells, cardio, confidence.

South by Southwest, Brody, you got it, I'm there doing a good job.

I charged him like a UFC fighter, mixed martial arts...

throwing elbows, throwing knees, front-kicking.

And then from behind me, I start getting punched.

I thought it was his friend, but it was the bouncer.

They broke us up and then I said I want more.

I took my tambourine and I threw it at the guy with passion and purpose...

like when I was pitching.

The Three Ps: Passion, passion--

Pitching, pressure, powerful, passion, punching.

You shouldn't have d-- bottom line, he was wrong.

How did the tambourine move, though, how did that work?

That was more of a throw.

But how did you throw the tambourine?

You know-- you know how to throw a tambourine.

Right.

So, yeah, that was a year ago.

From South by Southwest, getting attacked, now I'm on Conan O'Brien.

I am going places.

Hello? Hi.

Oh, hi, Stephanie. Hello.

Great to see you. Great to see you.

Come on in.

Are you nervous about today? Tonight with Conan?

A little bit, I'm nervous in a sense that they may not get me...

or they may not like me or I'll mess up, but you know what?

That's just normal... Right.

thoughts that probably all comedians go through.

You know, Mom's happy, look at her, she's smiling.

She's excited. She's seen her two children.

Sitting six inches apart.

Sitting six inches apart on a made air mattress.

STEPHANIE (O.S.): Did you ever think you'd see this day?

No, I didn't.

CAMERA (O.S.) Why?

Because they're always so far apart.

So, um, in honor of your taping of Conan...

so I made you like a little good-luck bracelet.

You did? I did.

So, it's one of these ones that pulls, so you want to try it on?

Yeah.

But I don't know if you'll need to take your hospital bracelet off.

I want to take off the hospital bracelet.

I've been waiting to cut it off.

Yeah, why do you still have it on?

Ah, just a reminder of where I was at.

Why do you want to be reminded all the time?

Just remind-- reminds me of what I went through.

Let's cut this thing off, Stephanie. Mom, we're doing it.

Okay, good.

We are doing it.

Well, this is--

It's kind of like not working.

You have to have leverage with one full hand.

Just don't cut the br-- you're gonna cut the--

Stephanie, I know that.

Mazel tov. Good, good.

It's off. All right, that's good.

Not there anymore.

Short sleeves on Conan, let's do this.

( SOFT MUSIC PLAYING )

Little nervous, it's a different audience, it's a different set.

It's a different vibe, it's a different night.

You know, my kind of set is different.

My kind of set moves in and out.

Sometimes it doesn't work.

You have to pick yourself up and push through.

Feel those moments of hurt almost.

It's their fault.

Good luck. Break a leg. Thank you, Stephanie.

Good luck.

I will break my legs.

My next guest is a talented comedian...

who's been seen in films such as The Hangover and The Hangover Part 2.

Please welcome the very funny Brody Stevens.

( BAND PLAYING ) ( AUDIENCE CHEERING )

Thank you, thank you very much.

I know many of you are trying to figure out where I was in The Hangover.

I was not the monkey.

BRODY (O.S.): People, give me something, I'm telling you...

I'm from the Valley. 818 'til I die. Yes!

Positive energy, feeling good.

Very intense, I get B.O. in the shower.

Sensitive skin, at night I wear moon block.

Guys, great news, I booked another movie.

Uh, it's an adult video out in Chatsworth.

Doing a solo scene on a yoga mat.

BRODY (O.S.): If you hear laughs there...

join in over there.

Let's get this thing going.

I've done table reads on this lot.

I'm doing well, I'm getting laughs.

Many of you are DVR-ing this, it's positive.

Uh, but I get lonely, you know.

Sometimes I go down to the batting cage, just to play catch.

A lot of people say, "Brody, you live with your mother."

BRODY (O.S.): And I don't live with my mother, that's a lie.

I live with my sister, in a condominium owned by my mother.

My sister was abusive, she beat me up, true story.

Growing up, she beat me up.

She spit on me, threw keys at me...

beat me with a pan, and you're saying, "Brody, what beatings hurt the most?"

The beatings with the keys. Yeah. Why, you ask?

Because my sister was a janitor.

BRODY (O.S.): That's a lot of keys.

Guys, thank you very much, I had a great time.

Positive energy. Yes!

Very funny! Thanks-

I'm back, I did it. Yay! You did great!

You did great. That was good.

I did it. Yeah, you did great.

That was good. You did great. Really!

Really? Yeah, yeah.

It feels good to be over with.

Yeah, you did great.

Really. You got laughs.

Conan was nice at the end.

What did he say at the end?

Good job, really good job.

You know, it's not like I go out every night and have rocking sets.

You know, I have hard times a lot of the time.

My life was in shambles and then I got it back together...

with the help of my mom, my sister, my friends, therapy...

and I said I want to get back on TV.

I want to prove to myself I can do comedy.

Now I'm already thinking, what's the next thing?

CAMERA (O.S.): What is the next thing?

I don't know what the next thing is to be honest with you.

I just kind of wanna sit back and enjoy that I did a good job.

I stepped up to the plate...

you know, and knocked it out of the ballpark.

( CROWD APPLAUDS )

Very funny. Thank you, Conan.

Positive energy. Positive energy. Yes!

Brody Stevens, ladies and gentlemen.

Thank you.

Yes, it is a game changer.

Will my Conan spot give Todd Phillips the confidence to book me in Hangover 3?

That's the question.

CAMERAS (O.S.): You know, Conan O'Brien just said positive energy.

I know. On air.

Yeah, positive energy, yes!

Yes, Conan O'Brien buying into it.

I mean, honestly, I didn't think it was gonna go that well.

I thought I'd do either real bad or okay.

STEPHANIE (O.S.): That's not positive energy.

I know. I know it's not positive energy.

Real bad, but who cares?

You know, I put my work in, like I said.

You know, at the very least, no matter how I feel.

I feel like I'm not connecting with you guys.

Shame on you for trying to bring me down.

I'm funny, I'm funnier than my material.

And thank you to my mother, this was for you...

and for all the hot chicks who said no to me, I've made it.

Enjoy it! Yes!

It's Brody overlooking the Valley.

Hey, Valley, it's Brody and I'm doing wonderful.

You help me. I help you.

I was at the bottom of the hill and I climbed back up...

and I see that I went through a lot of problems...

but I didn't quit, I grabbed on to branches...

to shrubbery, to animals, to rocks, pulling me up saying...

"Yes! We can do this. Let me inspire you."

The bone is strongest where it was once fractured.

I'm eating apples. I'm eating bananas.

I'm drinking a lot of water.

I only do two cups of coffee a day.

I've got a resume. I've got a website. ( SCOOTER HORN BEEPS )

I've got e-mail. I've got Gmail. ( BEEPING CONTINUES )

Zach! Come on, man! Let's go.

I'm at my point now where I really connect and bring them in.

It's all about you, all about Zach.

No, no, it's not.

You get the helmet. What do I get?

Where to?

UCLA Psych Ward.

You ready? I have to see someone.

You read everybody's mind.

they found this head in the park in a paper bag...

and Mom hadn't heard from you for two days.

So, you really thought for a second--

I didn't. She wasn't sure.

She asked me what park you went to, I said I don't know. It crossed my mind.

Of my head being in a paper bag.

Oh, great.