Original subtitles

Why are you guys not laughing?

Why are you not laughing?

Why? Are you gonna say I'm not funny?

I didn't see you in The Hangover.

I didn't see you guys in Hangover 2.

I'm in those movies, because I'm a good guy.

I deal with Panavision cameras. I step up to the plate.

I feel like I'm being judged by a bunch of [BLEEP] extras.

One, two, and three.

Yes!

( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )

Enjoy it!

Yes! Positive energy, on the road back.

I'm feeling good, thinking about comedy, focusing on acting. Yes!

To see my face on a billboard, if that ever happens.

Or to see my face in magazines.

If the-- these are good problems, I would think.

Would I be able to handle it?

Based on what happened to me in the past, because I had a little success.

And I kind of had a little bit of a meltdown.

But this time you have a support system.

I have a support system...

and I don't want to get too into my head and go well, am I afraid of success and this and that?

I just kind of want to do it, because I was in The Hangover...

and I didn't second guess myself.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2, booked 'em, Due Date, yes!

Cut out of Funny People, but I learned from it.

So after we take the mug shots, we bring them on down here...

where they wait to be interviewed...

by the arresting officers.

Trust me, kids...

you do not want to be sitting on these benches.

We call this place Loserville.

Gentlemen, follow me. Follow me.

Here you go. Here you go.

Good to go. Good to go.

Three lines, three scenes. Yes.

Hangover 1, Hangover 2, Due Date...

I was cut out of Funny People.

And it hurt my feelings.

[BLEEP] you, Judd Apatow, for cutting me out of Funny People.

I would use him again...

in something.

I just can't guarantee it stays in.

I cut my kids out of three movies.

It's not like I have an obligation to--

Yeah.

About what?

Uh, we can lose it.

We're doing headshots. It's about energy, energy, energy.

'Cause it's all digital.

You can just snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.

Snap, snap, snap, snap.

Let's make it happen.

Happen... it happen.

Okay. All right, come on in.

You're getting also retouching, included in your package.

You can suggest anything you like to correct, if you need to.

How does my skin look?

Uh, let's see. I don't see any issues.

It looks good? It looks good.

Robert, let's do it! Yes!

And you have the look, so it kind of works with you.

It works for me, I'm a tough guy, I'm hanging out...

on the docks of Long Beach, waiting for the cargo.

And here we go.

( MUSIC PLAYING )

( CHUCKLES )

Robert, have you ever been to Bangkok?

No. I was there.

Really? Met some interesting people.

No Hangover stories to tell us?

Well, I was in Hangover 2, and I went to Bangkok.

I pushed it to the limit and I loved it.

Yes! You got it!

( MUSIC PLAYING )

( MUSIC STOPS )

( MUSIC CONTINUES )

Yes!

Enjoy it!

Look at that guy. That's a happy guy.

You want him checking on your kids...

getting your mail.

Is that you? Yes, family guy.

Check me out. That's a likeable guy.

Hop in my van, let's hang out.

Yes! That's perfect.

You got it. Positive energy.

Push and believe. Yes!

Look at that body! What girl wouldn't want to be with me?

BRODY (O.S.): So, Mom, you must be excited about my movie career.

Did you love me in the Due Date movie?

The one I did with Robert Downey Jr.?

I hate to tell you, but I didn't see it.

You gotta see it, Mom.

You're in the first opening scene, right?

I'm in the opening scene, there's credits.

And that's all?

That's all you gotta see is the opening scene.

You don't even need to stay for the rest of the movie.

You saw The Hangover.

Mm-hm.

You gave your energy to Zach. You saw his movies.

I know, I've seen it more than once.

Yeah? It's about time you start seeing my movies.

Oh.

Jeez! I'm drunk.

So what?

So what? I can get a ticket and it can ruin my career.

Well, you have to get the career first.

And then he'll ruin it.

Oh, I've got to fart so bad.

Oh, gee, open up the window, Steven.

I just farted.

Oh, my god.

Welcome to the Steven Brody Stevens Positive Prank Show.

Today... headshot'd.

Here we go, here we go.

She's leaving with my headshot.

She's not happy.

We're just putting headshots on cars.

What do you think about it? 11 by 17.

BRODY (O.S.) You've been headshot'd.

We're just flyering the lot.

With my face.

You have just been pranked, give her a nice hand!

Whoo! Yay!

It's the nicest prank show around. You're happy, right?

BRODY (O.S.) You've been headshot'd.

Handsome?

You think I'm a good-looking guy?

Yes. Sure.

BRODY (O.S.) You've been headshot'd.

Yeah, they've been great.

Yeah!

Where are you from? San Fernando Valley.

San Fernando Valley... where?

Uh, Woodland Hills. Woodland Hills.

Taft High School? No, El Camino.

Did you know Ms. Davola?

I know Ms. Davola, yeah.

Thank you very much, I--

BRODY (O.S.) Headshot'd.

Air Force is...

Right over in El Segundo.

El Segundo, I left my wallet there one day.

BRODY (O.S.) Headshot'd.

Positive Prank Show!

All right! BRODY (O.S.) Headshot'd.

I've been headshot'd on the Steven Brody Positive--

BRODY (O.S.) Headshot'd.

You've been headshot'd on the Steven Brody Stevens Positive Prank Show.

How do you feel about that?

Well, I came up to you and I gave you the headshot.

It's a positive prank show, you've been headshot'd.

BRODY (O.S.) You've been headshot'd.

Andrew... new headshot.

Oh, nice.

Why do you only have one?

Well, I left some others on windshields.

BRODY Headshot'd.

I just got off the phone with a comedy festival in New Orleans.

Yeah.

And they want you on the festival.

New Orleans Comedy Festival?

Yeah, and, you're headlining.

Yes! Comedy in New Orleans, Bourbon Street, yes.

Hanging out, Manning family, Superdome...

the Bayou, positive energy, and I feel good.

( PHONE RINGING )

ZACH (ON PHONE) Hello?

Hey, Zach, it's Brody.

ZACH (ON PHONE) Hey, Brody, sorry, I have a telemarketer on the other line.

Ah, great news, I booked the New Orleans Comedy Festival.

You booked the New Orleans Comedy Festival?

Yeah, it's gonna look good on my resume.

So, Hangover 3 or whatever. Where are you right now?

Uh...

I'm in New Orleans.

Yes! Looks like I'm going to New Orleans.

Brody going for the Comedy Festival... you got it!

Zach and Brody in another movie.

Got my gray shirt, got my polo shirt, got that shirt.

Basic Word List, that goes in.

Post-it notes, positivity notes I like to call these.

5-hour Energy, Muscle Milk, something in a bag.

Toiletries, gotta brush your teeth.

Perfect up, bingo, bingo. Slap it, done.

Zach, I'm on the comeback.

I'm doing this festival...

New Orleans Comedy Festival.

I'm actually headlining it.

Who else is in the festival?

I don't know.

A lot of festival audiences...

are made up of other regular regional comics.

So you've never heard of anyone else on the--

CAMERA (O.S.) How big is the room?

It's maybe 80, capacity.

CAMERA (O.S.) 80? Yeah.

Give a warm welcome to Brody Stevens.

This is the first festival that I'm headlining.

How's the film going?

It's going well. Yeah?

You didn't come down here to ask me to be--

Are they still casting?

On the TV show that I'm producing for you...

you're asking me if you could be in a movie that I'm in?

Why not? I mean, Hangover 2, I was Giamotti's right hand man.

There's not really a part for you, it's like it's set in the south.

Zach, I can do accents.

Can you do a southern accent? Yeah.

All right, do a southern accent. Okay.

I pledge allegiance to the flag...

of the United States of America.

And to the Republic for which it stands.

One nation, under God, indivisible...

with liberty and justice for all.

Amen. Nailed it.

I have to say, that was really good...

but somehow it just doesn't match your face whatsoever.

I object to that.

You're also good with improv-ing courtroom scenes.

Your Honor, I object to the evidences-sens.

What other accents can you do.

That's about it.

Southern, I can do tough guy.

Hey, yo! Yo!

Yo! I pledge allegiance to the flag.

One nation under God.

That's--

I mean, who's above an acting class? Nobody.

You've taken acting classes.

If you could find a good acting coach, it would be good to do.

Zach, I've taken acting classes.

When? In New York.

New York, it's about what you are.

The training, the time, the suffering, the depression.

The weather, the heat, the cold.

The rain, the subway, the bus line, the park.

The Big Apple, and what did I do? Took acting class.

Level one, Guido was my instructor.

He said, "Tonight's the night, that somebody cries in this class. Who's it gonna be?

"Who's gonna break down in tears. Broady, you're up."

He called me Broady, and I never brought it up to him.

"Broady, think of your dad."

My father had passed away.

"Good. What would you say to him?"

Dad, I just want to say that you're a good dad, and you're always there for me.

He wishes that I was still playing baseball.

If he knew I was in this acting class, I think he would be disappointed.

But I'm here... Dad.

I'm here.

I put the baseball glove down.

And I've picked up the script.

"Good, Broady, now read your lines."

Trust me, kids, you don't want to be sitting on these benches.

We call this place... Loserville.

Are you happy, Dad?

I just did a line from the number one R-rated comedy...

of all time. Yes!

But that was like ten years ago.

So you mean I--

Well, I think you have to continue with that kind of thing.

Okay. It's a muscle, you gotta keep it in shape.

I think. Do it with a southern accent.

That's a muscle.

Acting is a muscle.

That's what I think.

Sorry. Would you do--

I'm ready to take an acting class.

I said, "Give me the notebook, not a notebook...

"the movie The Notebook."

I want to show Zach that he can believe in me.

It's not about following your heart, it's about security.

No, I hate you, you smug bastard!

I hate you, too.

Stomp your foot and say that. Get mad at her.

She's breaking up with you.

This is not keeping your promise.

No, do it again. Stomp!

This is not keeping your promise.

You guys are really just picking something up off a page.

There's no reality in it yet.

Have you had a girlfriend, Brody?

Yeah.

And when you were with her, how did you act with her?

Were you dead quiet like that, and held back?

Probably held back a little bit.

A little, but not as much as this. Try it again.

And we're gonna have to work at this everyday, because I want to do that...

because I want you.

I want all of you, forever, every day.

It's not that simple.

What do you want? Damn it!

What do you want? What do you want?

What do you think?

F-plus...

A-plus...

It's a plus if no one sees that.

You know, I've been doing some acting.

I've been in a couple movies.

I know you guys are involved...

in that, directing, producing.

Uh, I've worked with you guys before.

Would have liked to have been in the last movie.

If it's not too late, maybe...

It's definitely too late.

I mean, we've stopped.

Stopped production? The movie's out.

I don't know if I ever told you this.

After that shoot, when Brody kind of blew it on live TV on our show.

Yeah, there's lots of magazines, don't you get it?

How would they-- I mean, magazines, it's not where it's at.

You know who's a hero? I'll tell you. Evil Kenevil was a hero.

These guys aren't heroes, you want to meet Kenevil, man? It's not--

I went back to our casting director and I said, "Can I see Brody's headshot and resume?"

I had a suspicion about something.

I looked in the back. I looked under improv training.

None, there was no--

I said, I can't believe we had this guy on.

Right. I suggest you, as soon as possible...

get into an improv class.

Look what I did with Jonah--- Wait, wait! Just hold on.

Let me-- watch this. Eric, apples.

Oranges.

Green. Red.

See, this is the fundamentals.

When you don't have that structure, okay?

You didn't-- All right, let's try with you.

Okay. Okay.

Phillies.

Eagles.

No, see that's-- that's fifth-- see?

Yeah. It's like, so simple.

What? I kept it in the--

No, no, but this isn't like inherently wrong, like--

Okay, I'm gonna try this again. Here, I'll try it with Eric.

Okay. And see how it feels.

Sandbag.

Horsey hair.

See? He's on fire, and I didn't know he was gonna come with all that stuff.

But that's-- Horsey hair.

Yeah. It's shocking how fun that is.

So you're saying improv classes?

Five days a week. I don't care what it takes.

Once you get your certificate, I mean, we will look at it.

We will look at it again.

What if I had a tambourine? Does that change anything?

Yes!

As you're walking, try and make eye contact with other people.

Give 'em a little hello, hello. Eye contact's great for this.

Feel the ball, feel the weight of it.

And you're gonna say red ball, and when the person accepts it, they say thank you, red ball.

Brody, what are you holding?

Red ball, a green ball, a license plate and a tiny kitten.

Nice. All right. Great. Good stuff.

One of the biggest concepts in improv is "yes, and".

So if we started, do you remember that time I went to the museum? Then you'd say...

Yes, and?

And then you'd finish the sentence.

Yes, and, it was a great time checking out the paintings.

We've got an even number of people, perfect.

Uh, everybody partner up.

Just find another person.

Yeah, let's-- it doesn't really matter.

Yeah, all right, great, so this is the "yes, and" exercise.

What these two people need to get started is a relationship.

Brother and sister. Brother and sister, perfect.

Okay, hi, Stephanie.

Hi, Jon.

It's great seeing you today, sister.

Yes, it's been a long time.

Yes.

And you're older than me.

Five years, my senior, and you picked on me.

And it bothered me.

And Mom and Dad couldn't do anything about it.

Yes, but I was always Mom's favorite.

Yes, but because you're both girls.

I'm a man, our parents are divorced.

Dad was up in Sacramento.

Not around on a daily basis.

You and Mom worked together to push me around.

And years later, it has affected me.

It hurt my ability to date women.

It hurt my ability to have a normal social life when I went to college.

Now I'm in a lot of therapy, dabbling in medication...

to make myself a better son, brother and man...

in society today.

Yes.

And...

What do you think?

Uh...

Well, what do you think?

What do you think when you see that? Is it fulfilling?

Improv? Not really.

But what do you want to do ultimately?

Do another movie.

You're all over the place. You think you will be fulfilled from acting?

Then--

I'm a stand-up comedian.

Well, isn't this about finding something that you want to do?

This next guy is responsible for the warmest audiences in show business history.

He's brilliant, will you please welcome Brody Stevens!

Yes! I've done a lot of modeling in Pakistan.

I scratched your back, you shaved mine.

Stay with me, I get it.

Hangover 1, in it. Hangover 2, in it.

Sports. I went manic on Twitter.

[BLEEP] you, Adam Carolla. Nailed it!

Positive energy, I'm back. Brody is back.

He's done it! He's back! I'm back! I'm back!

This is the happiest I've been, it's wonderful!

I feel like Joe Paterno being carried off in his final game.

( AUDIENCE APPLAUDS )

Brody? Brodes? Yeah.

What do you want to do?

I'm hungry, let's get some tacos.

If I do well tonight, and I've been doing well.

Okay.

Why don't you try to get me on Conan?

I can put in a word.

I'm not the booker. I could put in a word.

I say prepare the email or text right now.

This guy is crushing.

He just got out of the UCLA Psych Ward less than eight months ago.

Good selling point.

And just send once my set is done.

I will put in a good word for you.

I don't even need to see the set. You're aces, Brody.

you'd stand up and go, "That's my son."

They'll ask you to leave the theater, you can't disrupt a premiere.

But you stand up and go, "That's my son."

Steven Brody Stevens...

brodystevens.com... yes!