Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:13,814 --> 00:00:15,754
Why are you guys not laughing?
2
00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,653
Why are you not laughing?
3
00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,445
Why? Are you gonna say
I'm not funny?
4
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,757
I didn't see
you in The Hangover.
5
00:00:21,789 --> 00:00:24,389
I didn't see you guys
in Hangover 2.
6
00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,755
I'm in those movies,
because I'm a good guy.
7
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:30,734
I deal with Panavision cameras.
I step up to the plate.
8
00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:34,544
I feel like I'm being judged by
a bunch of [BLEEP] extras.
9
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:38,507
One, two, and three.
10
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:39,839
Yes!
11
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:43,844
( THEME MUSIC PLAYING )
12
00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,659
Enjoy it!
13
00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:59,788
Yes! Positive energy,
on the road back.
14
00:00:59,827 --> 00:01:04,197
I'm feeling good, thinking about
comedy, focusing on acting. Yes!
15
00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:06,872
To see my face on a billboard,
if that ever happens.
16
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:10,400
Or to see my face in magazines.
17
00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:12,708
If the-- these are good
problems, I would think.
18
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,380
Would I be able to handle it?
19
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,608
Based on what happened to me
in the past, because I had
a little success.
20
00:01:17,645 --> 00:01:20,245
And I kind of had a little
bit of a meltdown.
21
00:01:20,281 --> 00:01:22,051
But this time you have
a support system.
22
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,920
I have a support system...
23
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:26,821
and I don't want to get too into
my head and go well, am I afraid
of success and this and that?
24
00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:30,464
I just kind of want to do it,
because I was in The Hangover...
25
00:01:30,491 --> 00:01:34,261
and I didn't second guess
myself.
26
00:01:34,295 --> 00:01:37,895
Hangover 1, Hangover 2,
booked 'em, Due Date, yes!
27
00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,366
Cut out of Funny People,
but I learned from it.
28
00:01:40,401 --> 00:01:43,241
So after we take the mug shots,
we bring them on down here...
29
00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:44,841
where they wait to be
interviewed...
30
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:46,712
by the arresting officers.
31
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:47,810
Trust me, kids...
32
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,841
you do not want to be sitting
on these benches.
33
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,347
We call this place Loserville.
34
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,280
Gentlemen, follow me.
Follow me.
35
00:01:54,315 --> 00:01:56,245
Here you go.
Here you go.
36
00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,554
Good to go.
Good to go.
37
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,585
Three lines, three scenes.
Yes.
38
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,921
Hangover 1, Hangover 2,
Due Date...
39
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,927
I was cut out of Funny People.
40
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860
And it hurt my feelings.
41
00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:17,337
[BLEEP] you, Judd Apatow, for
cutting me out of Funny People.
42
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,740
I would use him again...
43
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:21,944
in something.
44
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,250
I just can't guarantee
it stays in.
45
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,248
I cut my kids out
of three movies.
46
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,720
It's not like I have an
obligation to--
47
00:02:30,618 --> 00:02:32,788
Yeah.
48
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,220
About what?
49
00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,733
Uh, we can lose it.
50
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,970
We're doing headshots. It's
about energy, energy, energy.
51
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,397
'Cause it's all digital.
52
00:02:50,438 --> 00:02:54,308
You can just snap, snap,
snap, snap, snap, snap, snap.
53
00:02:54,342 --> 00:02:55,412
Snap, snap, snap, snap.
54
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:59,313
Let's make it happen.
55
00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,647
Happen... it happen.
56
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,922
Okay.
All right, come on in.
57
00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:05,951
You're getting also retouching,
included in your package.
58
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,756
You can suggest anything you
like to correct, if you need to.
59
00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,259
How does my skin look?
60
00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,731
Uh, let's see.
I don't see any issues.
61
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:13,960
It looks good?
It looks good.
62
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,602
Robert, let's do it! Yes!
63
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,670
And you have the look, so it
kind of works with you.
64
00:03:18,699 --> 00:03:20,529
It works for me, I'm a tough
guy, I'm hanging out...
65
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:24,338
on the docks of Long Beach,
waiting for the cargo.
66
00:03:24,372 --> 00:03:25,742
And here we go.
67
00:03:25,773 --> 00:03:28,883
( MUSIC PLAYING )
68
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,378
( CHUCKLES )
69
00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,546
Robert, have you ever been to
Bangkok?
70
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:38,745
No.
I was there.
71
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,316
Really?
Met some interesting people.
72
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:42,664
No Hangover stories to tell us?
73
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,490
Well, I was in Hangover 2,
and I went to Bangkok.
74
00:03:45,526 --> 00:03:49,026
I pushed it to the limit
and I loved it.
75
00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,927
Yes! You got it!
76
00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:54,004
( MUSIC PLAYING )
77
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:03,578
( MUSIC STOPS )
78
00:04:10,951 --> 00:04:12,891
( MUSIC CONTINUES )
79
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,528
Yes!
80
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,459
Enjoy it!
81
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,434
Look at that guy.
That's a happy guy.
82
00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:25,073
You want him
checking on your kids...
83
00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,873
getting your mail.
84
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:30,340
Is that you? Yes, family guy.
85
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,041
Check me out.
That's a likeable guy.
86
00:04:33,341 --> 00:04:35,681
Hop in my van, let's hang out.
87
00:04:35,709 --> 00:04:37,509
Yes! That's perfect.
88
00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:40,905
You got it. Positive energy.
89
00:04:40,948 --> 00:04:44,078
Push and believe. Yes!
90
00:04:44,352 --> 00:04:48,622
Look at that body! What girl
wouldn't want to be with me?
91
00:04:48,656 --> 00:04:51,056
BRODY (O.S.):
So, Mom, you must be excited
about my movie career.
92
00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:54,359
Did you love me
in the Due Date movie?
93
00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:55,455
The one I did
with Robert Downey Jr.?
94
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,396
I hate to tell you,
but I didn't see it.
95
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,871
You gotta see it, Mom.
96
00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,442
You're in the first opening
scene, right?
97
00:05:03,471 --> 00:05:04,871
I'm in the opening scene,
there's credits.
98
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:05,965
And that's all?
99
00:05:06,006 --> 00:05:07,476
That's all you gotta see
is the opening scene.
100
00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,378
You don't even need to stay
for the rest of the movie.
101
00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:10,607
You saw The Hangover.
102
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,754
Mm-hm.
103
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,179
You gave your energy to Zach.
You saw his movies.
104
00:05:14,214 --> 00:05:15,684
I know, I've seen it more than
once.
105
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:19,016
Yeah? It's about time you start
seeing my movies.
106
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,390
Oh.
107
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:24,019
Jeez! I'm drunk.
108
00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:25,157
So what?
109
00:05:25,192 --> 00:05:30,432
So what? I can get a ticket
and it can ruin my career.
110
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,404
Well, you have to get
the career first.
111
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,601
And then he'll ruin it.
112
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,265
Oh, I've got to fart so bad.
113
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:38,143
Oh, gee, open up
the window, Steven.
114
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:39,411
I just farted.
115
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,870
Oh, my god.
116
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:46,807
Welcome to the Steven Brody
Stevens Positive Prank Show.
117
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,877
Today... headshot'd.
118
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,625
Here we go, here we go.
119
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,443
She's leaving with my headshot.
120
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,311
She's not happy.
121
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:14,479
We're just putting
headshots on cars.
122
00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,948
What do you think about it?
11 by 17.
123
00:06:18,446 --> 00:06:19,746
BRODY (O.S.)
You've been headshot'd.
124
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,916
We're just flyering the lot.
125
00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,656
With my face.
126
00:06:30,691 --> 00:06:33,091
You have just been pranked, give
her a nice hand!
127
00:06:33,126 --> 00:06:34,356
Whoo! Yay!
128
00:06:34,462 --> 00:06:37,872
It's the nicest prank show
around. You're happy, right?
129
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,468
BRODY (O.S.)
You've been headshot'd.
130
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,310
Handsome?
131
00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:51,607
You think I'm a good-looking
guy?
132
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:52,945
Yes.
Sure.
133
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:53,880
BRODY (O.S.)
You've been headshot'd.
134
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:56,354
Yeah, they've been great.
135
00:06:56,383 --> 00:06:57,823
Yeah!
136
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,051
Where are you from?
San Fernando Valley.
137
00:06:59,086 --> 00:06:59,986
San Fernando Valley... where?
138
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,350
Uh, Woodland Hills.
Woodland Hills.
139
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:02,818
Taft High School?
No, El Camino.
140
00:07:02,856 --> 00:07:03,956
Did you know Ms. Davola?
141
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:04,931
I know Ms. Davola, yeah.
142
00:07:04,958 --> 00:07:06,258
Thank you very much, I--
143
00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:07,503
BRODY (O.S.)
Headshot'd.
144
00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,395
Air Force is...
145
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,596
Right over in El Segundo.
146
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,900
El Segundo, I left my wallet
there one day.
147
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:12,972
BRODY (O.S.)
Headshot'd.
148
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,330
Positive Prank Show!
149
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:15,767
All right!
BRODY (O.S.) Headshot'd.
150
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:20,613
I've been headshot'd on the
Steven Brody Positive--
151
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,111
BRODY (O.S.)
Headshot'd.
152
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:25,282
You've been headshot'd on the
Steven Brody Stevens Positive
Prank Show.
153
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,952
How do you feel about that?
154
00:07:30,751 --> 00:07:33,691
Well, I came up to you
and I gave you the headshot.
155
00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,561
It's a positive prank show,
you've been headshot'd.
156
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,665
BRODY (O.S.)
You've been headshot'd.
157
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,540
Andrew... new headshot.
158
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:50,537
Oh, nice.
159
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,108
Why do you only have one?
160
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:56,009
Well, I left some others
on windshields.
161
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,313
BRODY
Headshot'd.
162
00:07:57,344 --> 00:08:00,554
I just got off the phone with a
comedy festival in New Orleans.
163
00:08:00,548 --> 00:08:01,778
Yeah.
164
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,045
And they want you
on the festival.
165
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,554
New Orleans Comedy Festival?
166
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,556
Yeah, and, you're headlining.
167
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:11,558
Yes! Comedy in New Orleans,
Bourbon Street, yes.
168
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,562
Hanging out, Manning family,
Superdome...
169
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:18,925
the Bayou, positive energy,
and I feel good.
170
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:23,296
( PHONE RINGING )
171
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:24,196
ZACH (ON PHONE)
Hello?
172
00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:26,567
Hey, Zach, it's Brody.
173
00:08:26,607 --> 00:08:29,607
ZACH (ON PHONE)
Hey, Brody, sorry, I have a
telemarketer on the other line.
174
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:34,383
Ah, great news, I booked the
New Orleans Comedy Festival.
175
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:36,424
You booked the New Orleans
Comedy Festival?
176
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,649
Yeah, it's gonna look good
on my resume.
177
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:43,586
So, Hangover 3 or whatever.
Where are you right now?
178
00:08:43,624 --> 00:08:45,034
Uh...
179
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:49,028
I'm in New Orleans.
180
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,932
Yes! Looks like
I'm going to New Orleans.
181
00:08:51,965 --> 00:08:54,695
Brody going for the Comedy
Festival... you got it!
182
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:57,635
Zach and Brody in another movie.
183
00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,671
Got my gray shirt, got my polo
shirt, got that shirt.
184
00:09:00,708 --> 00:09:02,508
Basic Word List, that goes in.
185
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:04,710
Post-it notes, positivity notes
I like to call these.
186
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:07,675
5-hour Energy, Muscle Milk,
something in a bag.
187
00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:09,345
Toiletries, gotta brush
your teeth.
188
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:13,522
Perfect up, bingo, bingo.
Slap it, done.
189
00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,714
Zach, I'm on the comeback.
190
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:34,811
I'm doing this festival...
191
00:09:34,842 --> 00:09:36,242
New Orleans Comedy Festival.
192
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:38,346
I'm actually headlining it.
193
00:09:38,378 --> 00:09:39,508
Who else is in the festival?
194
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,346
I don't know.
195
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:43,050
A lot of festival audiences...
196
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,853
are made up of other regular
regional comics.
197
00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,985
So you've never heard
of anyone else on the--
198
00:09:48,856 --> 00:09:50,356
CAMERA (O.S.)
How big is the room?
199
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,020
It's maybe 80, capacity.
200
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,728
CAMERA (O.S.) 80?
Yeah.
201
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:56,001
Give a warm welcome
to Brody Stevens.
202
00:09:56,029 --> 00:10:00,599
This is the first festival
that I'm headlining.
203
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,665
How's the film going?
204
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,237
It's going well.
Yeah?
205
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,305
You didn't come down here
to ask me to be--
206
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:12,213
Are they still casting?
207
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,005
On the TV show that I'm
producing for you...
208
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:17,317
you're asking me if you could
be in a movie that I'm in?
209
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:21,020
Why not? I mean, Hangover 2,
I was Giamotti's right hand man.
210
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:25,334
There's not really a part
for you, it's like it's set
in the south.
211
00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,888
Zach, I can do accents.
212
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,657
Can you do a southern accent?
Yeah.
213
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,296
All right, do a southern accent.
Okay.
214
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:33,398
I pledge allegiance
to the flag...
215
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:38,213
of the United States
of America.
216
00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:40,208
And to the Republic
for which it stands.
217
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,510
One nation, under God,
indivisible...
218
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:47,353
with liberty and justice
for all.
219
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,920
Amen. Nailed it.
220
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,021
I have to say, that was really
good...
221
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:56,423
but somehow it just doesn't
match your face whatsoever.
222
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:59,526
I object to that.
223
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:03,959
You're also good with
improv-ing courtroom scenes.
224
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:07,597
Your Honor, I object to the
evidences-sens.
225
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,770
What other accents can you do.
226
00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:13,635
That's about it.
227
00:11:13,741 --> 00:11:17,911
Southern, I can do tough guy.
228
00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:21,175
Hey, yo! Yo!
229
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,954
Yo! I pledge allegiance
to the flag.
230
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:25,224
One nation under God.
231
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,792
That's--
232
00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,520
I mean, who's above
an acting class? Nobody.
233
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,315
You've taken acting classes.
234
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,627
If you could find a good acting
coach, it would be good to do.
235
00:11:33,660 --> 00:11:36,100
Zach, I've taken acting classes.
236
00:11:36,129 --> 00:11:37,769
When?
In New York.
237
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:40,365
New York, it's about
what you are.
238
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:43,870
The training, the time, the
suffering, the depression.
239
00:11:43,904 --> 00:11:46,544
The weather, the heat, the cold.
240
00:11:46,573 --> 00:11:50,343
The rain, the subway,
the bus line, the park.
241
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:53,777
The Big Apple, and what did
I do? Took acting class.
242
00:11:53,781 --> 00:11:57,521
Level one,
Guido was my instructor.
243
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:03,220
He said, "Tonight's the night,
that somebody cries in this
class. Who's it gonna be?
244
00:12:03,256 --> 00:12:08,496
"Who's gonna break down
in tears. Broady, you're up."
245
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:14,328
He called me Broady, and I
never brought it up to him.
246
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:16,267
"Broady, think of your dad."
247
00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:19,373
My father had passed away.
248
00:12:19,406 --> 00:12:22,836
"Good. What would
you say to him?"
249
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:33,845
Dad, I just want to say that
you're a good dad, and you're
always there for me.
250
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:41,133
He wishes that I was still
playing baseball.
251
00:12:41,161 --> 00:12:47,271
If he knew I was in this acting
class, I think he would be
disappointed.
252
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,370
But I'm here... Dad.
253
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,113
I'm here.
254
00:12:52,139 --> 00:12:54,879
I put the baseball glove down.
255
00:12:54,908 --> 00:12:57,848
And I've picked up the script.
256
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:04,650
"Good, Broady,
now read your lines."
257
00:13:05,552 --> 00:13:09,862
Trust me, kids, you don't want
to be sitting on these benches.
258
00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:14,857
We call this place...
Loserville.
259
00:13:18,665 --> 00:13:20,525
Are you happy, Dad?
260
00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:26,537
I just did a line from the
number one R-rated comedy...
261
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,913
of all time. Yes!
262
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:34,149
But that was like ten years ago.
263
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,551
So you mean I--
264
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,382
Well, I think you have to
continue with that kind
of thing.
265
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,917
Okay. It's a muscle,
you gotta keep it in shape.
266
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,894
I think.
Do it with a southern accent.
267
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,893
That's a muscle.
268
00:13:45,893 --> 00:13:47,793
Acting is a muscle.
269
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,295
That's what I think.
270
00:13:51,164 --> 00:13:53,134
Sorry.
Would you do--
271
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,907
I'm ready to take
an acting class.
272
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:02,509
I said, "Give me the notebook,
not a notebook...
273
00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:04,142
"the movie The Notebook."
274
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,377
I want to show Zach
that he can believe in me.
275
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:10,684
It's not about following your
heart, it's about security.
276
00:14:10,717 --> 00:14:13,617
No, I hate you,
you smug bastard!
277
00:14:13,653 --> 00:14:14,623
I hate you, too.
278
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:16,364
Stomp your foot and say that.
Get mad at her.
279
00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,319
She's breaking up with you.
280
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,657
This is not keeping your
promise.
281
00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:19,791
No, do it again. Stomp!
282
00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:23,156
This is not keeping
your promise.
283
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:26,526
You guys are really just picking
something up off a page.
284
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:30,136
There's no reality in it yet.
285
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,540
Have you had a girlfriend,
Brody?
286
00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:33,211
Yeah.
287
00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:36,180
And when you were with her,
how did you act with her?
288
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:39,179
Were you dead quiet like that,
and held back?
289
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,852
Probably held back a little bit.
290
00:14:40,948 --> 00:14:44,048
A little, but not as much
as this. Try it again.
291
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:46,724
And we're gonna have to work
at this everyday, because I want
to do that...
292
00:14:46,753 --> 00:14:49,023
because I want you.
293
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,793
I want all of you, forever,
every day.
294
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,296
It's not that simple.
295
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,370
What do you want?
Damn it!
296
00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,973
What do you want?
What do you want?
297
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,405
What do you think?
298
00:15:11,644 --> 00:15:12,714
F-plus...
299
00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,181
A-plus...
300
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:19,046
It's a plus if no one sees that.
301
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:23,218
You know,
I've been doing some acting.
302
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,986
I've been in a couple movies.
303
00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:27,132
I know you guys are involved...
304
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,900
in that, directing, producing.
305
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:32,467
Uh, I've worked
with you guys before.
306
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,069
Would have liked to have been
in the last movie.
307
00:15:34,101 --> 00:15:35,641
If it's not too late, maybe...
308
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,498
It's definitely too late.
309
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:40,007
I mean, we've stopped.
310
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,510
Stopped production?
The movie's out.
311
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:45,006
I don't know if I ever
told you this.
312
00:15:45,012 --> 00:15:49,822
After that shoot, when Brody
kind of blew it on live TV
on our show.
313
00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:54,345
Yeah, there's lots of magazines,
don't you get it?
314
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,427
How would they-- I mean,
magazines, it's not
where it's at.
315
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,728
You know who's a hero? I'll tell
you. Evil Kenevil was a hero.
316
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:06,472
These guys aren't heroes,
you want to meet Kenevil, man?
It's not--
317
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:11,035
I went back to our casting
director and I said, "Can I see
Brody's headshot and resume?"
318
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,338
I had a suspicion
about something.
319
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:15,212
I looked in the back.
I looked under improv training.
320
00:16:15,242 --> 00:16:16,582
None, there was no--
321
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:19,179
I said, I can't believe
we had this guy on.
322
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:21,512
Right.
I suggest you,
as soon as possible...
323
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,078
get into an improv class.
324
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:23,876
Look what I did with Jonah---
Wait, wait! Just hold on.
325
00:16:23,916 --> 00:16:26,146
Let me-- watch this.
Eric, apples.
326
00:16:26,186 --> 00:16:27,316
Oranges.
327
00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,064
Green.
Red.
328
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:30,919
See, this is the fundamentals.
329
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:33,887
When you don't have that
structure, okay?
330
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,626
You didn't--
All right, let's try with you.
331
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:36,532
Okay.
Okay.
332
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:37,603
Phillies.
333
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:38,570
Eagles.
334
00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,968
No, see that's--
that's fifth-- see?
335
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,098
Yeah.
It's like, so simple.
336
00:16:42,135 --> 00:16:43,195
What? I kept it in the--
337
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:46,066
No, no, but this isn't like
inherently wrong, like--
338
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:48,076
Okay, I'm gonna try this again.
Here, I'll try it with Eric.
339
00:16:48,075 --> 00:16:49,135
Okay.
And see how it feels.
340
00:16:49,176 --> 00:16:50,306
Sandbag.
341
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,983
Horsey hair.
342
00:16:52,079 --> 00:16:55,349
See? He's on fire, and I didn't
know he was gonna come with
all that stuff.
343
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:56,682
But that's--
Horsey hair.
344
00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:59,146
Yeah.
It's shocking how fun that is.
345
00:16:59,186 --> 00:17:02,186
So you're saying improv classes?
346
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:04,562
Five days a week.
I don't care what it takes.
347
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:07,931
Once you get your certificate,
I mean, we will look at it.
348
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,400
We will look at it again.
349
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:13,099
What if I had a tambourine?
Does that change anything?
350
00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,112
Yes!
351
00:17:27,114 --> 00:17:30,024
As you're walking, try and make
eye contact with other people.
352
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:33,147
Give 'em a little hello, hello.
Eye contact's great for this.
353
00:17:33,186 --> 00:17:35,116
Feel the ball,
feel the weight of it.
354
00:17:35,122 --> 00:17:39,162
And you're gonna say red ball,
and when the person accepts it,
they say thank you, red ball.
355
00:17:39,192 --> 00:17:40,362
Brody, what are you holding?
356
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:44,503
Red ball, a green ball, a
license plate and a tiny kitten.
357
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,171
Nice. All right.
Great. Good stuff.
358
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,000
One of the biggest concepts
in improv is "yes, and".
359
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:55,206
So if we started, do you
remember that time I went
to the museum? Then you'd say...
360
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,382
Yes, and?
361
00:17:57,410 --> 00:18:00,150
And then you'd finish
the sentence.
362
00:18:00,147 --> 00:18:05,047
Yes, and, it was a great time
checking out the paintings.
363
00:18:05,152 --> 00:18:06,822
We've got an even number
of people, perfect.
364
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,463
Uh, everybody partner up.
365
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,788
Just find another person.
366
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:14,163
Yeah, let's-- it doesn't
really matter.
367
00:18:14,161 --> 00:18:17,361
Yeah, all right, great, so this
is the "yes, and" exercise.
368
00:18:17,397 --> 00:18:20,797
What these two people need to
get started is a relationship.
369
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:23,473
Brother and sister.
Brother and sister,
perfect.
370
00:18:23,503 --> 00:18:24,803
Okay, hi, Stephanie.
371
00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:25,737
Hi, Jon.
372
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,872
It's great seeing you
today, sister.
373
00:18:27,907 --> 00:18:30,037
Yes, it's been a long time.
374
00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,706
Yes.
375
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,184
And you're older than me.
376
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:37,780
Five years, my senior,
and you picked on me.
377
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:39,047
And it bothered me.
378
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:42,915
And Mom and Dad couldn't do
anything about it.
379
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,185
Yes, but I was always
Mom's favorite.
380
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:48,402
Yes, but because you're
both girls.
381
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,798
I'm a man, our parents are
divorced.
382
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,470
Dad was up in Sacramento.
383
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,099
Not around on a daily basis.
384
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:57,341
You and Mom worked
together to push me around.
385
00:18:57,370 --> 00:19:00,040
And years later,
it has affected me.
386
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,742
It hurt my ability
to date women.
387
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:08,276
It hurt my ability to have
a normal social life
when I went to college.
388
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:13,885
Now I'm in a lot of therapy,
dabbling in medication...
389
00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:18,760
to make myself a better son,
brother and man...
390
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,891
in society today.
391
00:19:21,928 --> 00:19:23,958
Yes.
392
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:28,769
And...
393
00:19:29,636 --> 00:19:31,096
What do you think?
394
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:32,407
Uh...
395
00:19:32,439 --> 00:19:33,609
Well, what do you think?
396
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,810
What do you think when you see
that? Is it fulfilling?
397
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,783
Improv? Not really.
398
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,752
But what do you want to do
ultimately?
399
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,551
Do another movie.
400
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:47,923
You're all over the place.
You think you will be fulfilled
from acting?
401
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:50,789
Then--
402
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:52,163
I'm a stand-up comedian.
403
00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:55,089
Well, isn't this about finding
something that you want to do?
404
00:19:57,664 --> 00:20:01,574
This next guy is responsible
for the warmest audiences
in show business history.
405
00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:04,341
He's brilliant, will you please
welcome Brody Stevens!
406
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,641
Yes! I've done a lot
of modeling in Pakistan.
407
00:20:06,673 --> 00:20:08,843
I scratched your back,
you shaved mine.
408
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,605
Stay with me, I get it.
409
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:13,683
Hangover 1, in it.
Hangover 2, in it.
410
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:16,653
Sports.
I went manic on Twitter.
411
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,623
[BLEEP] you, Adam Carolla.
Nailed it!
412
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:23,862
Positive energy, I'm back.
Brody is back.
413
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:27,260
He's done it! He's back!
I'm back! I'm back!
414
00:20:27,294 --> 00:20:29,534
This is the happiest I've been,
it's wonderful!
415
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:32,732
I feel like Joe Paterno being
carried off in his final game.
416
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:36,200
( AUDIENCE APPLAUDS )
417
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,511
Brody? Brodes?
Yeah.
418
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:42,381
What do you want to do?
419
00:20:42,409 --> 00:20:44,209
I'm hungry,
let's get some tacos.
420
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,053
If I do well tonight,
and I've been doing well.
421
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,109
Okay.
422
00:20:48,147 --> 00:20:49,377
Why don't you
try to get me on Conan?
423
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,676
I can put in a word.
424
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,717
I'm not the booker.
I could put in a word.
425
00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,422
I say prepare the email
or text right now.
426
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,315
This guy is crushing.
427
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:01,787
He just got out of the
UCLA Psych Ward less than
eight months ago.
428
00:21:01,828 --> 00:21:03,328
Good selling point.
429
00:21:03,363 --> 00:21:06,673
And just send once my set
is done.
430
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:08,069
I will put in a good
word for you.
431
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:11,000
I don't even need to see the
set. You're aces, Brody.
432
00:21:20,179 --> 00:21:23,149
you'd stand up and go,
"That's my son."
433
00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:26,352
They'll ask you to leave the
theater, you can't disrupt
a premiere.
434
00:21:26,386 --> 00:21:29,486
But you stand up and go,
"That's my son."
435
00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,392
Steven Brody Stevens...
436
00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:33,564
brodystevens.com... yes!
32775
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.