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www.tvsubtitles.net
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To me, government...
3
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...is basically parents for adults.
4
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Especially the lRS. The lRS is like
Ward and June Cleaver...
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,605
...and we're all
Wally and the Beaver.
6
00:00:13,780 --> 00:00:15,645
And your accountant
is Eddie Haskell...
7
00:00:15,815 --> 00:00:18,511
...showing you all these neat tricks
to get away with stuff.
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00:00:19,252 --> 00:00:20,844
That's fine, unless you get audited.
9
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,546
Then you don't want some
wise guy in a suit going:
10
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:27,022
''You have a very
lovely office here, sir.''
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Because jail is the government's
way of sending you to your room.
12
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,133
And when you meet Whitey
and Lumpy in the joint...
13
00:00:34,968 --> 00:00:38,199
...there's really gonna be
something wrong with the Beaver.
14
00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:45,871
-Does he like you?
-What do you think?
15
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,173
-Do you like him?
-Yeah, l like him. Definitely.
16
00:00:48,348 --> 00:00:49,576
l like him a lot.
17
00:00:49,749 --> 00:00:52,309
-So, what's wrong with him?
-Nothing, and l've looked.
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00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,749
Well, l'm sure you'll find something.
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00:00:54,921 --> 00:00:56,718
-So how'd you meet him?
-ln the office.
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00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,721
-So he's a writer?
-Yeah.
21
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:01,690
-Yeah, big surprise.
-l was sitting on the reception desk.
22
00:01:01,861 --> 00:01:03,920
l was looking pretty hot.
23
00:01:04,097 --> 00:01:06,964
-l was wearing my slingback pumps.
-What are those?
24
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,897
Ask your mother.
You live with her now, don't you?
25
00:01:10,603 --> 00:01:12,127
Anyway...
26
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:15,297
...then this guy comes up to me,
and he starts feeling my jacket...
27
00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:17,966
...between his thumb
and forefinger like this.
28
00:01:18,144 --> 00:01:20,544
-So, what'd you do?
-l said, ''What do you think?''
29
00:01:20,713 --> 00:01:22,203
And he said, ''Gabardine?''
30
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And l said, ''Yeah.'' That was it.
31
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:30,054
-Just felt your material?
-Yeah. Jake Jarmel.
32
00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:33,021
-Sounds like a cool guy.
-Sounds like a jerk.
33
00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:35,923
Felt your material, come on.
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-Jerry, where'd you get that sweater?
-ln the back of my closet.
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l think that's what the back
of closets are for.
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00:01:43,169 --> 00:01:44,659
Hey, that's Barry.
37
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:46,362
Lookit. Barry.
38
00:01:46,606 --> 00:01:48,073
-Hey.
-Hi.
39
00:01:48,241 --> 00:01:50,971
-Who is that?
-That's Barry Prophet, our accountant.
40
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,612
l don't know how can you let
this guy handle your money.
41
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,806
Not my money. He handles
Jerry's money. He just does my taxes.
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00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:58,541
-Barry, how you doing?
-How are you?
43
00:01:58,718 --> 00:02:00,117
-This is my friend George.
-Hey.
44
00:02:00,286 --> 00:02:02,083
What are you doing
in this neighborhood?
45
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,779
Nothing, really.
46
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:06,551
-You.... You eat here?
-Yeah.
47
00:02:06,726 --> 00:02:09,456
-So how's my money?
-Well, it's still green.
48
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:11,529
-What, do you got a cold?
-No. No.
49
00:02:12,232 --> 00:02:15,633
-Look at that ring.
-Oh, you like that?
50
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,994
Hey, say, where's the bathroom?
51
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:21,163
Bathroom?
Bathroom's right over there.
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00:02:21,341 --> 00:02:23,036
Great.
53
00:02:24,911 --> 00:02:26,139
Did you see that?
54
00:02:26,312 --> 00:02:28,177
-See what?
-Yes, l saw that.
55
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,316
-What?
-What was all that sniffing?
56
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:32,576
-l don't know.
-You don't think...?
57
00:02:32,752 --> 00:02:35,118
Oh, no. Come on, Jerry.
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00:02:35,288 --> 00:02:37,916
He was definitely sniffing.
59
00:02:38,858 --> 00:02:41,326
l mean, what if--?
This guy's got all my money.
60
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:43,428
Plus, l got some of Kramer's money
with him.
61
00:02:43,596 --> 00:02:45,723
He can write checks to himself
from my account.
62
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,367
l've known this guy since college.
He doesn't do drugs.
63
00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:51,663
-Then what was all that sniffing?
-Maybe it's the cold weather.
64
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,237
Today's not cold.
65
00:02:53,406 --> 00:02:56,432
All right, l gotta get going.
My parents are expecting me.
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00:02:56,609 --> 00:03:00,340
Don't forget to wash
your hands before supper.
67
00:03:05,518 --> 00:03:07,952
What do you need
all that ketchup for?
68
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,683
This is my ketchup.
69
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:13,456
l bought this ketchup...
70
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:16,652
...just so l could have
as much as l want.
71
00:03:19,098 --> 00:03:22,363
So l....
l talked to Phil Kassikoff today.
72
00:03:22,535 --> 00:03:24,059
Phil Kassikoff?
73
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,398
Yeah. You know, my friend,
the bra salesman?
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00:03:26,940 --> 00:03:28,874
He says they're looking
for somebody...
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00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,602
...so l got you an interview
next Friday with his boss.
76
00:03:31,778 --> 00:03:33,871
-Next Friday? What time?
-Two o'clock.
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00:03:34,447 --> 00:03:37,814
That's my whole afternoon.
l was gonna look for sneakers.
78
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:39,952
You can look for sneakers
the next day!
79
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,148
He doesn't know anything
about bras.
80
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,161
l know a little.
81
00:03:49,762 --> 00:03:51,559
Besides, what do you
have to know?
82
00:03:51,731 --> 00:03:55,997
Well, it wouldn't hurt to go in
and be able to discuss it intelligently.
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00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:58,296
Maybe you should take a look
at a few bras.
84
00:03:58,471 --> 00:04:00,405
Where's your bra?
Give him a bra to look at.
85
00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,006
l'm not giving him a bra.
86
00:04:02,175 --> 00:04:05,338
-Why not?
-l don't need him looking at my bra.
87
00:04:05,511 --> 00:04:07,172
Fine. He'll go into the interview...
88
00:04:07,347 --> 00:04:09,372
...he wouldn't know
what he's talking about.
89
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,312
Do we have to...?
90
00:04:11,484 --> 00:04:13,543
You don't even know
what they're made from.
91
00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:17,247
-They're made from Lycra spandex.
-Get out of here. Lycra spandex?
92
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,721
l think they are made
from Lycra spandex.
93
00:04:19,892 --> 00:04:21,792
-Wanna bet? How much?
-l'm not betting.
94
00:04:21,961 --> 00:04:25,863
-Take a look.
-All right, l'll get a bra.
95
00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:28,899
l don't know what the big problem is
getting a bra.
96
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:30,592
She doesn't wanna get a bra.
97
00:04:31,070 --> 00:04:33,664
l'm not saying, ''Go to the library
and read the history.''
98
00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:36,741
But it wouldn't kill you
to know a little bit about it.
99
00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:39,070
All right, it wouldn't kill me.
100
00:04:42,181 --> 00:04:44,149
How long does it take to find a bra?
101
00:04:44,550 --> 00:04:46,211
What's going on in there?
102
00:04:46,386 --> 00:04:49,685
You ask me to get a pair of
underwear, l'm back in two seconds.
103
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,618
You know about the cup sizes
and all?
104
00:04:55,795 --> 00:05:00,164
-They have different cups.
-Yeah, l know about the cups.
105
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:05,170
You got the A...
106
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,169
...the B...
107
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:08,898
...the C...
108
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,743
...the D. That's the biggest.
109
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,879
l know the D is the biggest.
110
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:18,814
l base my whole life on knowing
that the D is the biggest.
111
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,283
-Here. Here's the bra.
-Let me see it.
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00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,979
''One hundred percent
Lycra spandex.''
113
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,148
-Let me see.
-l told you.
114
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,557
Here. You think you know
everything.
115
00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:32,757
That's surprising.
116
00:05:33,433 --> 00:05:35,094
All right, what else?
117
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:37,600
You got the cups in the front...
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00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:40,432
...two loops in the back, all right?
119
00:05:40,606 --> 00:05:44,167
-l guess that's about it.
-l got it. Cups in front, loops in back.
120
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,778
You got ketchup on it.
121
00:05:53,252 --> 00:05:55,220
Sniffing? What do you mean,
sniffing?
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00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:58,516
-Sniffing. With his nose.
-Jerry, he probably had a cold.
123
00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,660
-No, he didn't. l asked him.
-So, what are you saying?
124
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:05,025
-l don't know. You know, what if...?
-Drugs?
125
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,393
-You think he's on drugs?
-l don't know.
126
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:09,296
-Jerry--
-All l know is he was sniffing.
127
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,596
-Listen, we went in on a CD together.
-l know.
128
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,238
And Newman gave you money too.
129
00:06:13,406 --> 00:06:16,000
See, l didn't even meet this guy.
We trusted you.
130
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:18,405
Look, it doesn't necessarily
mean anything yet.
131
00:06:18,578 --> 00:06:21,479
-lt just means he was sniffing.
-Well, what else? Was he nervous?
132
00:06:21,647 --> 00:06:25,413
Did he use a lot of slang?
Did he use the word ''man''?
133
00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:28,885
No, he didn't use ''man.''
134
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,081
l mean, when he was leaving,
did he say, ''l'm splitting''?
135
00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,427
No, but at one point,
he did use the bathroom.
136
00:06:39,665 --> 00:06:42,293
-You think that's a bad sign?
-Yes, that's what they do.
137
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,935
They live in the bathroom.
138
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:46,571
What are we gonna do?
We're gonna get our money, right?
139
00:06:46,739 --> 00:06:48,673
l don't know.
This sweater really itches me.
140
00:06:48,841 --> 00:06:50,570
-You want it?
-Yeah.
141
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,910
Hello. Hel--
142
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,815
Well, you notice anything?
143
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:03,581
You have cleaned up
the whole apartment...
144
00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:05,690
...and you're making dinner.
You're perfect.
145
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:08,418
You're a perfect man.
146
00:07:12,932 --> 00:07:14,900
-Did anyone call?
-You got a few messages.
147
00:07:15,067 --> 00:07:16,864
-l wrote them down.
-Where are they?
148
00:07:17,036 --> 00:07:20,472
Let's see, they are....
Here they are.
149
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,574
Thank you.
150
00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:25,404
Oh, yeah. l'll call you back.
151
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:29,714
Forget that--
Myra had the baby!
152
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,509
Oh, my God. That's wonderful.
153
00:07:31,684 --> 00:07:33,015
-Who called?
-She did.
154
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,518
She did? Oh, that's so great.
155
00:07:35,955 --> 00:07:39,220
-Where do you keep the corkscrew?
-lt's in the drawer on the right.
156
00:07:43,362 --> 00:07:44,795
What?
157
00:07:44,997 --> 00:07:46,555
No, it's nothing.
158
00:07:46,732 --> 00:07:48,962
-No, what is it?
-lt's nothing.
159
00:07:49,235 --> 00:07:50,725
Tell me.
160
00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:55,832
Well, l was just curious why you
didn't use an exclamation point.
161
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,573
What are you talking about?
162
00:07:59,745 --> 00:08:02,077
Well, see right here? You wrote,
''Myra had the baby.''
163
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:05,046
But you didn't use
an exclamation point.
164
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,810
So?
165
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:09,477
So it's-- Yeah, it's nothing.
Forget it. Forget it.
166
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,623
You know, l just found it curious.
167
00:08:11,791 --> 00:08:14,453
Wait, what's so curious about it?
168
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:18,563
Well, l mean, if one of your
close friends had a baby...
169
00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:21,996
...and l left you a message about it,
l would use an exclamation point.
170
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,295
Well, maybe l don't use
my exclamation points...
171
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,597
...as haphazardly as you do.
172
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:30,269
You don't think
that someone having a baby...
173
00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,274
...warrants an exclamation point?
174
00:08:32,445 --> 00:08:34,379
Hey, look, l just jotted down
the message.
175
00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:37,914
l didn't know that l was required
to capture the mood of each caller.
176
00:08:38,251 --> 00:08:42,483
Well, l just thought you'd be a little
more excited about a friend of mine...
177
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,623
-...having a baby.
-Okay, l'm excited.
178
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:47,122
l just don't happen to like
exclamation points.
179
00:08:47,293 --> 00:08:49,284
Well, Jake, you should
learn to use them.
180
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:52,329
Like, the way l'm talking now,
l'd put exclamation points...
181
00:08:52,498 --> 00:08:55,990
...on the ends all of these sentences!
On this one! And on that one!
182
00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:58,500
Well, you can put one on this one:
183
00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:00,195
l'm leaving!
184
00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:07,375
-You're out of your mind.
-Why?
185
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:09,481
lt's an exclamation point.
186
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:13,278
-lt's a line with a dot under it.
-Well, l felt it called for one.
187
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,750
''Called for one.'' l thought
l'd heard of everything.
188
00:09:15,922 --> 00:09:18,914
l never heard of a relationship
being affected by punctuation.
189
00:09:19,091 --> 00:09:21,753
l found it very troubling
that he didn't use one.
190
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:25,724
George is right.
Didn't take you long.
191
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,236
Anything new with that guy
on drugs?
192
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:33,263
He's not on drugs.
193
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:37,500
Then why the sniffing?
Who walks around...sniffing?
194
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:39,770
All right, here.
You call him right now, okay?
195
00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:43,177
-See if he's sniffing right now.
-Good idea.
196
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:50,520
-Prophet and Goldstein.
-Yes, Barry Prophet, please.
197
00:09:50,690 --> 00:09:52,521
I'm sorry, he's out of townthis week.
198
00:09:52,692 --> 00:09:55,252
-Out of town?
-Yes. He went to South America.
199
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,919
-South America?
-South America?
200
00:09:58,097 --> 00:09:59,758
l'll call back. Thank you.
201
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:03,026
-He went to South America.
-Yeah!
202
00:10:04,003 --> 00:10:05,436
So what?
203
00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:09,673
-Who goes to South America?
-People go to South America.
204
00:10:09,842 --> 00:10:13,141
Yeah, and they come back with
things taped to their large intestine.
205
00:10:14,046 --> 00:10:15,775
So because of a few bad apples...
206
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:18,143
...you're gonna impugn
an entire continent?
207
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,217
Yes, l'm impugning a continent.
208
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:22,786
Well, l say we go and get
our money right now.
209
00:10:23,255 --> 00:10:26,122
-Hey. Hey.
-Hello, Newman.
210
00:10:26,292 --> 00:10:28,283
Hello, Jerry.
211
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:29,993
So any news?
212
00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:32,323
Yeah, he skipped out
and...went to South America.
213
00:10:32,498 --> 00:10:33,726
South America?!
214
00:10:33,899 --> 00:10:37,164
What kind of snow blower
did you get us mixed up with?
215
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:41,437
Okay, gentlemen, the fact remains
you still have no proof.
216
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:43,905
This is all speculation and hearsay.
217
00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:47,341
Wait. There's one way to find out.
We set up a sting.
218
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:51,777
You know, like Abscam.
Like Abscam, Jerry.
219
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:53,613
What are you gonna do?
220
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:57,187
You gonna put on phony beards
and dress up like Arab sheiks...
221
00:10:57,356 --> 00:10:59,119
...and sit around
in some hotel room?
222
00:10:59,291 --> 00:11:01,691
-l mean, come on.
-Wait a second.
223
00:11:01,861 --> 00:11:04,022
Maybe there is a way to tempt him
and find out.
224
00:11:04,196 --> 00:11:08,257
lf we put our three heads together,
we should come up with something.
225
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,441
-What's today?
-lt's Thursday.
226
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:22,012
Really?
227
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:24,274
Feels like Tuesday.
228
00:11:24,917 --> 00:11:26,817
Tuesday has no feel.
229
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:29,147
Monday has a feel.
230
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:31,050
Friday has a feel.
231
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,451
Sunday has a feel.
232
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,458
-l feel Tuesday and Wednesday.
-Shut up, the both of you.
233
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,959
You're making me nervous.
234
00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,965
Where is he already? He should've
been out of work by now.
235
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,532
Hey, this is kind of fun.
236
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,398
Yeah. Maybe we ought to become
private detectives.
237
00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:46,970
Yeah, maybe you should.
238
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:50,199
-Maybe l will.
-Yeah, me too.
239
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,440
All right, what are you
gonna say to him?
240
00:11:52,611 --> 00:11:54,977
Just gonna find out
if he's interested.
241
00:11:55,147 --> 00:11:56,774
Hey, maybe l should go in with him.
242
00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,008
-No, you stay in the car.
-Who made you leader?
243
00:11:59,185 --> 00:12:02,677
All right, Newman. One more peep
out of you, you're out of the operation.
244
00:12:04,423 --> 00:12:06,948
There he is.
He's going into that bar.
245
00:12:09,195 --> 00:12:10,822
All right...
246
00:12:11,630 --> 00:12:13,723
-...l'm going in.
-Be careful, Kramer.
247
00:12:17,103 --> 00:12:18,400
l should've gone in with him.
248
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,630
No, you stay here in the car.
l may need you.
249
00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:22,330
What do you need me
in the car for?
250
00:12:22,508 --> 00:12:25,033
l might need you to get me a soda.
251
00:12:34,854 --> 00:12:37,118
l'll have a brewski, Charlie.
252
00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,154
The name's Mitch.
253
00:12:39,325 --> 00:12:41,987
Well, there's nothing like a cold one
after a long day, huh?
254
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:43,992
-Yeah.
-Oh, yeah.
255
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:47,257
Yeah, l've been known to drink
a beer or two.
256
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,799
But then again, l've been known
to do a lot of things.
257
00:13:03,082 --> 00:13:04,982
-Cigarette?
-No, no. l never touch them.
258
00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,612
Well...
259
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,880
...l suck them down like Coca-Cola.
260
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,019
Well...
261
00:13:13,192 --> 00:13:16,127
...here's to feeling good
all the time, huh?
262
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:37,009
Looks like you got yourself
a little cold there, huh, fella?
263
00:13:37,183 --> 00:13:40,209
-l don't think so.
-Me neither.
264
00:13:47,593 --> 00:13:50,323
You should try this new
dental floss, Glide. lt's fantastic.
265
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,726
-l use Dentotape.
-You should try this.
266
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,896
-l don't wanna.
-Not even once?
267
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:59,667
-No.
-You know, you're an idiot.
268
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,363
Why, because l use Dentotape?
269
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:05,203
Right. Anyone who uses Dentotape
is an idiot.
270
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:07,407
-South America, huh?
-Yeah, yeah.
271
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:08,979
That's a burgeoning continent.
272
00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,912
Well, they are expanding
their economic base, yeah.
273
00:14:12,084 --> 00:14:13,381
Tell me about it.
274
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,787
Excuse me, l gotta go
to the bathroom.
275
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:17,445
l'm hip.
276
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:22,991
-Hip to what?
-To the whole scene.
277
00:14:23,929 --> 00:14:27,057
-What scene?
-The bathroom scene.
278
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,495
Listen, don't take this personally,
but when l come back...
279
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,901
-...l'm sitting over there.
-Whatever turns you on.
280
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:43,013
-No, no, l don't like it.
-What do you mean, you don't like it?
281
00:14:43,182 --> 00:14:46,174
-How could you not like it?
-l like the thick tape.
282
00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:12,471
Hey. What kind of nut are you?
283
00:15:15,381 --> 00:15:19,784
So basically, George,
the job here is quite simple.
284
00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:21,647
Selling bras.
285
00:15:21,820 --> 00:15:24,653
That interests me very much,
Mr. Farkus. Very much indeed, sir.
286
00:15:24,823 --> 00:15:26,814
Have you ever sold
a woman's line before?
287
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:29,085
No, but...
288
00:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,752
...l have a very good rapport
with women.
289
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,762
Very good. Comfortable.
290
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:38,131
And from the first time l laid eyes
on a brassiere...
291
00:15:38,304 --> 00:15:39,931
...l was enthralled.
292
00:15:42,241 --> 00:15:43,833
Tell me about it.
293
00:15:44,376 --> 00:15:46,901
Well, l was 1 4 years old...
294
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,343
...l was in my friend's bathroom...
295
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:53,417
...his mother's brassiere
was hanging over the shower rod.
296
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:55,210
l picked it up.
297
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,252
l studied it.
298
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,215
l thought:
299
00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:00,619
''l like this.''
300
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,320
l didn't know in what way
or on what level, but l knew...
301
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:06,987
...l wanted to be around brassieres.
302
00:16:07,166 --> 00:16:09,828
That's an incredible story.
303
00:16:10,602 --> 00:16:14,299
You have a remarkable passion
for brassieres.
304
00:16:14,473 --> 00:16:17,670
Well, they're more than just
underwear to me, Mr. Farkus.
305
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:19,974
Two cups in the front...
306
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,204
...two loops in the back...
307
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:23,573
...how do they do it?
308
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:26,014
Well, l think l can say...
309
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:28,210
...barring some
unforeseen incident...
310
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:31,686
...that you will have a very bright
future here at E.D. Granmont.
311
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,051
Thank you, Mr. Farkus.
Thank you very much indeed, sir.
312
00:16:35,227 --> 00:16:36,660
See you Monday, 9:00.
313
00:16:37,296 --> 00:16:39,025
lf you don't mind, sir...
314
00:16:39,198 --> 00:16:40,859
...l'll be here at 8.
315
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,724
Excellent.
316
00:16:43,035 --> 00:16:45,128
So long, Mr. Farkus.
317
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,914
-What do you think you're doing?
-Nothing. What?
318
00:16:59,084 --> 00:17:00,574
Farkus, get out here.
319
00:17:01,086 --> 00:17:03,111
Oh, yes, Ms. De Granmont?
320
00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:04,550
Farkus...
321
00:17:04,723 --> 00:17:06,918
...who is this perverted little weasel?
322
00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,754
This is Costanza,
he's our new bra salesman.
323
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,793
He's supposed to start on Monday.
324
00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:14,461
lf he's here on Monday, you're not.
325
00:17:14,633 --> 00:17:16,294
Take your pick.
326
00:17:17,269 --> 00:17:20,727
Get out. l'm terribly sorry,
Ms. De Granmont.
327
00:17:22,207 --> 00:17:24,038
You wanted to see me,
Mr. Lippman?
328
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:28,509
l was just going over
the Jake Jarmel book...
329
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:31,774
...and l understand you worked
with him very closely on this.
330
00:17:31,950 --> 00:17:34,077
Yes-- Yes, l did.
331
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:37,245
And anyway, l was just reading
your final edit...
332
00:17:37,423 --> 00:17:43,055
...and there seems to be an inordinate
number of exclamation points.
333
00:17:43,462 --> 00:17:49,765
Well, l-- l felt that the writing lacked
a certain emotion and intensity.
334
00:17:49,935 --> 00:17:51,266
You know, it's....
335
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:56,739
''lt was a damp and chilly afternoon,
so l decided to put on my sweatshirt!''
336
00:17:57,342 --> 00:17:58,570
Right. Well--
337
00:17:58,744 --> 00:18:00,939
You put an exclamation point
after ''sweatshirt.''
338
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:05,482
That's correct. l felt that the character
doesn't like to be chilly.
339
00:18:05,651 --> 00:18:06,879
l see.
340
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:10,510
''l pulled the lever on the machine,
but the Clark bar didn't come out!''
341
00:18:11,356 --> 00:18:13,153
-Again, exclamation point.
-Yeah.
342
00:18:13,325 --> 00:18:15,316
Well, you know how frustrating
that can be...
343
00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,327
...when you keep putting quarters
and quarters into a machine...
344
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:21,933
-...and...nothing comes out.
-Get rid of the exclamation points.
345
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,966
-Okay, l will.
-l hate exclamation points.
346
00:18:24,136 --> 00:18:25,660
Okay.
347
00:18:26,738 --> 00:18:28,706
Just-- l'll--
348
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,736
''Dear Barry, consider this letter...
349
00:18:31,910 --> 00:18:34,777
...the termination of our relationship,
effective immediately.''
350
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,812
-Exclamation point.
-Right.
351
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,812
You still have no proof.
352
00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:42,112
Elaine, he was sniffing like crazy
around me.
353
00:18:42,287 --> 00:18:44,949
''l will expect all funds in the form
of a cashier's check...
354
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,614
...no later than the 1 8th.''
355
00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:49,192
Double exclamation point.
356
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:51,690
-Will that take care of ours too?
-Yep.
357
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,196
l'll give you yours as soon as
l get my money back.
358
00:18:54,366 --> 00:18:56,061
Want me to mail it?
l'm on my way out.
359
00:18:56,235 --> 00:18:59,636
-Yeah, thanks.
-All right. Be my pleasure.
360
00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:05,709
See you later.
361
00:19:06,512 --> 00:19:08,377
You know, this is--
362
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,574
-Hey, Ralph.
-What's up, fellas?
363
00:19:11,750 --> 00:19:13,650
-That'll be 1 4.30.
-All right.
364
00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,515
-Mushrooms? You got mushrooms.
-Yeah.
365
00:19:17,456 --> 00:19:20,289
-What's the matter, you got a cold?
-No, man.
366
00:19:20,459 --> 00:19:22,984
-Kramer, what is this?
-lt's a sweater.
367
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,926
-What is it made out of?
-l don't know. Jerry gave it to me.
368
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:28,566
-lt's mohair, l think.
-Mohair. That figures.
369
00:19:28,734 --> 00:19:30,361
l'm allergic to mohair.
370
00:19:30,536 --> 00:19:32,902
-You mean, you just started sniffing?
-Yeah.
371
00:19:33,071 --> 00:19:34,698
Mohair does it to me every time.
372
00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,443
l was wearing that sweater in the
coffee shop when Barry came in.
373
00:19:39,611 --> 00:19:43,570
-Jerry, l was wearing it in the bar.
-The sweater made him sniff.
374
00:19:43,749 --> 00:19:46,240
See? l told you he wasn't
a drug addict.
375
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,646
Oh, no, the letter.
376
00:19:47,819 --> 00:19:51,118
Newman-- lt's got
exclamation points all over it.
377
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:54,191
Not to mention the picture of him
on the toilet.
378
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,694
The what?
379
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,539
-After you.
-Thank you.
380
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:16,543
Get your hands off of me!
381
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:19,544
Johnny! Johnny!
382
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,821
What do you mean,
you felt her material?
383
00:20:26,992 --> 00:20:28,550
What? With your fingers, like this?
384
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,957
So what? What's so bad about that?
385
00:20:31,129 --> 00:20:33,791
Who goes around
feeling people's material?
386
00:20:33,966 --> 00:20:37,458
What can be gained
by feeling a person's material?
387
00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:38,967
lt's insanity.
388
00:20:39,137 --> 00:20:41,901
Whatever happened to, ''My,
that's a lovely dress you have on.
389
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,336
May l have this dance?''
390
00:20:49,681 --> 00:20:53,117
You know, you are really lucky
Newman never mailed that letter.
391
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,945
Sorry l'm late. l just came from
a meeting with my lawyer.
392
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,680
-Hey.
-What is this?
393
00:20:58,857 --> 00:21:02,623
lt's a letter from your friend
Barry Prophet's lawyer.
394
00:21:03,528 --> 00:21:05,587
He's filing Chapter 1 1 ?
395
00:21:05,764 --> 00:21:07,857
What's going on?
Why is he filing Chapter 1 1 ?
396
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,364
Bankruptcy.
397
00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:12,526
Bankruptcy. As in, ''l've taken
your money and spent it on drugs.''
398
00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:15,303
What? l thought it was the sweater.
399
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:17,499
-What about the money?
-What about the money?
400
00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:19,735
lf l had dissolved my relationship
with him...
401
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:22,937
...prior to his filing Chapter 1 1 ,
l could've got the money back.
402
00:21:23,115 --> 00:21:24,343
Which l would've done...
403
00:21:24,516 --> 00:21:28,509
...if a certain imbecile had been able
to get to a mailbox and mail a letter.
404
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,327
Pair of bear claws, please.
405
00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:44,458
Nice.
406
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:46,536
-Think so?
-Yeah, what is it?
407
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:48,839
Half silk, half cotton, half linen.
408
00:21:51,076 --> 00:21:53,237
How can you go wrong?
409
00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:04,044
My accountant actually did...
410
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:07,487
...take a big chunk of money from me
and use it to buy drugs.
411
00:22:07,659 --> 00:22:10,389
The thing that was hardest for me
to comprehend about this...
412
00:22:10,562 --> 00:22:15,056
...is the life choice of drug abuse
and accounting.
413
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:18,863
lt makes sense. Why would
an athlete or musician take drugs?
414
00:22:19,037 --> 00:22:20,402
They have an interesting job.
415
00:22:20,572 --> 00:22:24,201
But an accountant? lf ever a job
required hallucinogenic support...
416
00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,105
...this is the job.
417
00:22:26,278 --> 00:22:28,576
That should be the legal defense.
418
00:22:28,747 --> 00:22:31,443
''You're charged with
possession of illegal narcotics.''
419
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:34,551
''But, Your Honor,
l'm an accountant.''
420
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:36,515
Bang. ''Case closed.
421
00:22:36,688 --> 00:22:40,180
Bailiff, give this man his peyote
and tequila back for the drive home.
422
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,793
Sorry to bother you, sir.
Terribly sorry.''
33213
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