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1
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www.tvsubtitles.net
2
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l stay up late. l'm ''night guy.''
Night guy wants to stay up late.
3
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:11,369
''Getting up after five hours' sleep?''
''That's morning guy's problem.
4
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:14,104
That's not my problem.
l'm night guy.
5
00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,611
l stay up as late as l want.''
6
00:00:15,782 --> 00:00:18,717
So you get up in the morning,
you're exhausted, groggy.
7
00:00:18,885 --> 00:00:20,785
''Oh, l hate that night guy!''
8
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:24,517
See, night guy always screws
morning guy.
9
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,852
There's nothing morning guy can do.
10
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,291
The only thing morning guy can do
is oversleep...
11
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:33,796
...so that day guy loses his job
and night guy has no money to go out.
12
00:00:40,273 --> 00:00:42,207
Do you ever spit
on anybody from here?
13
00:00:42,375 --> 00:00:43,865
No. You?
14
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:45,841
No.
15
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:48,447
-Do you ever think about it?
-Yeah.
16
00:00:48,615 --> 00:00:50,310
Me too.
17
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:54,149
-Hey.
-Hey.
18
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,420
-Well, l got it.
-You got me the air conditioner?
19
00:00:57,590 --> 00:00:59,148
-What do you think?
-Beautiful.
20
00:00:59,325 --> 00:01:00,485
What air conditioner?
21
00:01:00,660 --> 00:01:03,891
My buddy works in an appliance
store. He got us 30 percent off.
22
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,431
-ls it a good one?
-Good one? lt's a Commando 8.
23
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,398
-Commando 8?
-Twelve thousand BTUs.
24
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:13,471
You hate air conditioning.
You've never had an air conditioner.
25
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:18,100
-But Amy likes air conditioning.
-Oh, an air conditioner for Amy.
26
00:01:18,278 --> 00:01:23,580
Amy doesn't like the temperature
up here. She's a little hot.
27
00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,446
-All right.
-Okay. So....
28
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,746
-l'm gonna measure the window up.
-Yeah.
29
00:01:31,958 --> 00:01:34,518
Yeah. Rock on!
30
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,826
l gotta get out of this city.
31
00:01:39,365 --> 00:01:41,925
So you're tunneling
to the center of the Earth?
32
00:01:44,537 --> 00:01:45,765
l'm at the health club.
33
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:49,375
And while l'm in the pool,
some guy walks off with my glasses.
34
00:01:49,542 --> 00:01:53,000
Who steals prescription glasses?
35
00:01:55,181 --> 00:01:59,083
-You don't have an old pair?
-l broke them playing basketball.
36
00:01:59,252 --> 00:02:01,846
He was running from a bee.
37
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:06,820
Now if l wanna see anything,
l gotta wear these.
38
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:10,023
George, those are prescription
goggles?
39
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,698
What is there to see
in a health club pool?
40
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,629
There's a lot of change down there.
41
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,996
When l find that guy,
this much l vow:
42
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,571
Those glasses will be returned
to their rightful owner.
43
00:02:20,740 --> 00:02:23,834
We're behind you, Aquaboy.
Godspeed.
44
00:02:24,644 --> 00:02:27,704
What kind of a sick, demented person
wants another person's glasses?
45
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,381
Yeah, especially those frames.
46
00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:34,982
You know what you ought to do?
Go see Dwayne at J&T Optical.
47
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,417
He'll give you 30 percent off.
48
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:37,817
Yeah. Come on.
49
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,983
Hey, he just got me 30 percent off
on an air conditioner.
50
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:44,153
-Really?
-Retail is for suckers.
51
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,191
-What do l have to do?
-Just mention my name.
52
00:02:48,368 --> 00:02:50,427
-That's it?
-That's it.
53
00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,270
What about these?
54
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:00,746
They look good.
l liked the other one too.
55
00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:03,178
l've liked about five of them.
56
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,807
Well, it's a tough decision.
l have to wear these every day.
57
00:03:06,986 --> 00:03:09,420
-l'm deciding on a new face.
-Come on, George.
58
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,580
Pick a face and go with it.
59
00:03:13,359 --> 00:03:15,850
Now, those look good.
They're very bold.
60
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,156
Yes, they are bold.
61
00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:22,091
Jerry, what do you think?
62
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:25,499
These women would be good-looking
if they weren't wearing glasses.
63
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,402
Hi there, little doggy.
64
00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:31,100
-Do you mind if l pet your dog?
-lt's okay with me.
65
00:03:31,277 --> 00:03:32,904
Hi, little doggy.
66
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:35,047
You can't have that dog in here.
67
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:39,015
-You okay? Did he bite you?
-Can you believe that guy?
68
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:40,914
l'm okay. lt's just a nip.
69
00:03:41,087 --> 00:03:43,055
He just walked away.
70
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,818
And once again l'm standing here
like a little man.
71
00:03:48,061 --> 00:03:50,029
Well, not this time.
72
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,431
You! Dog man!
73
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,539
-My leg looks pretty bad.
-l'll take you to the emergency room.
74
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,508
-Okay.
-Hey. Any luck? Did you catch him?
75
00:04:07,447 --> 00:04:08,880
No. No.
76
00:04:09,048 --> 00:04:11,949
-l'll take Elaine to the hospital.
-Good, good. Do that.
77
00:04:12,852 --> 00:04:15,912
-What's the matter?
-Oh, no. Nothing.
78
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,579
What is it?
79
00:04:18,124 --> 00:04:19,352
l can't tell you.
80
00:04:20,059 --> 00:04:22,527
-Jerry, can we go?
-Yeah, yeah. ln a second.
81
00:04:22,695 --> 00:04:24,959
-You can't tell me?
-l can't tell you.
82
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,496
-Don't ask.
-l'm asking.
83
00:04:26,699 --> 00:04:30,226
-Jerry, my leg.
-Yeah, here. Take care of it.
84
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,831
Come on, George. What is it?
85
00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,209
l saw Amy making out
with your cousin Jeffrey.
86
00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:40,111
-What?
-They were right outside.
87
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,275
-Amy and Jeffrey?
-Yes.
88
00:04:43,916 --> 00:04:45,884
-Are you sure?
-Yes. Positive.
89
00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:49,044
But you can't see.
There's no lenses in those frames.
90
00:04:50,390 --> 00:04:53,291
l know. l was squinting.
91
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:57,896
Jerry, you just catch up with me.
You can just follow the trail of blood.
92
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:01,231
We're gonna have to
talk about this later.
93
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,531
Thank you.
94
00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:07,033
Taxi!
95
00:05:10,276 --> 00:05:12,744
Excuse me.
What do you think of these?
96
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,377
We just got those in.
lt's a very exciting new frame.
97
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,084
Yes, it is exciting.
98
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,720
This is gonna be my new face.
99
00:05:21,888 --> 00:05:24,857
-Do you have a prescription?
-Yeah.
100
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:30,791
Kramer.
101
00:05:34,701 --> 00:05:35,963
What?
102
00:05:36,636 --> 00:05:37,898
Kramer.
103
00:05:39,906 --> 00:05:43,398
-What about him?
-You do know Kramer.
104
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:48,073
-Yes.
-Well, l'm mentioning his name.
105
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:52,378
Why?
106
00:05:52,652 --> 00:05:54,677
Because, you know....
107
00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:58,256
No, l don't know. Look,
l'm gonna need a deposit on these.
108
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:05,690
Oh, come on. Cousin Jeffrey?
109
00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:08,265
-lt's not possible.
-Why not? They could've met.
110
00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:10,868
She loves the park.
He works for the Parks Department.
111
00:06:13,106 --> 00:06:14,869
Jerry, that is so ridiculous.
112
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:17,373
George didn't even have
his glasses on.
113
00:06:17,543 --> 00:06:19,067
But he was squinting.
114
00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:23,176
So what? Squinting doesn't make
that much of a difference.
115
00:06:23,349 --> 00:06:25,579
Are you kidding?
l've seen him squint.
116
00:06:25,752 --> 00:06:29,051
He can squint his way
down to like 20-30 vision.
117
00:06:30,256 --> 00:06:33,157
Once we drove down from the
Catskills and he lost his glasses.
118
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:37,422
He squinted his way from Wurtsboro
down to the Tappan Zee Bridge.
119
00:06:37,597 --> 00:06:40,088
He was spotting raccoons
on the road.
120
00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:44,870
-Okay.
-Okay?
121
00:06:45,037 --> 00:06:47,062
That's it?
l don't need a shot?
122
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,936
No shot. Dog bite.
123
00:06:51,444 --> 00:06:53,469
No, l know l wasn't shot.
124
00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,238
Do l need a shot?
125
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,940
Not shot. Dog bite.
126
00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:00,910
Woof-woof. Not bang-bang.
127
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:10,595
-Look at this. The cable's out.
-That's okay.
128
00:07:10,763 --> 00:07:14,130
-We don't have to watch TV.
-No, no. No trouble at all.
129
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,860
lt's the principle of the thing.
130
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:21,536
l like them to know that l know
what's going on...
131
00:07:21,707 --> 00:07:26,201
...that they're not getting away
with anything.
132
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,142
l'm on hold.
133
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,007
So, what did you do yesterday?
134
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:34,749
-Yesterday?
-Yeah.
135
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,219
You remember yesterday.
136
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,518
Beautiful day.
Good day to be out.
137
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:45,321
-l didn't do anything.
-Well, you must've done something.
138
00:07:48,267 --> 00:07:51,532
-No. Nothing really.
-Didn't go out of the house?
139
00:07:52,338 --> 00:07:57,799
Didn't take a walk
on Columbus Avenue?
140
00:07:57,977 --> 00:08:00,002
-Well, l did go out for a little while.
-Well.
141
00:08:00,179 --> 00:08:03,307
Your day's getting
more interesting already.
142
00:08:04,717 --> 00:08:06,184
Oh, see?
143
00:08:06,352 --> 00:08:10,220
Told me they'd be back in a minute,
and they lied.
144
00:08:12,525 --> 00:08:15,323
-You can't trust anyone.
-No, you can't.
145
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,395
Well, let's cut the bull, sister!
146
00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:21,491
l know about you swapping spit
with somebody on Columbus.
147
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:24,500
-What are you talking about?
-Look, my friend saw you.
148
00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:26,001
Saw me? With who?
149
00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:27,971
You tell me.
150
00:08:29,108 --> 00:08:30,666
There's nothing to tell.
151
00:08:32,378 --> 00:08:34,209
There isn't?
152
00:08:34,380 --> 00:08:35,938
No.
153
00:08:39,051 --> 00:08:40,985
All right.
154
00:08:41,153 --> 00:08:42,780
Wanna get some pizza?
155
00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:47,782
l had a feeling this was
too good to be true.
156
00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,155
-Why?
-There had to be another side to you.
157
00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:53,958
-No, there's no side.
-There is a side, an ugly side.
158
00:08:54,133 --> 00:08:56,294
No, no ugly side.
159
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,871
-Look, l think l'm gonna go.
-Why?
160
00:08:59,038 --> 00:09:03,134
-lt's really hot in here.
-So we can still go out on Friday?
161
00:09:03,743 --> 00:09:05,734
Yeah. When are you getting
an air conditioner?
162
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:10,212
lt's coming.
lt's a Commando 8, 1 2,000 BTUs.
163
00:09:10,483 --> 00:09:12,883
lt's gonna be like
a meat locker in here.
164
00:09:15,254 --> 00:09:18,348
-l was an idiot for listening to you.
-Hey, l saw what l saw.
165
00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:21,357
Everything was going so well.
She hadn't seen any flaws in me.
166
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,791
-Now she sees a side.
-What side?
167
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:26,363
-A bad side, an ugly side.
-So what?
168
00:09:26,532 --> 00:09:29,763
l wasn't planning on showing
that side for another six months.
169
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:33,696
You made me throw off
the whole learning curve.
170
00:09:33,873 --> 00:09:36,569
-Why don't you just ask Jeffrey.
-He'd just deny it.
171
00:09:37,376 --> 00:09:40,607
-There must be some way to find out.
-Amy said nothing happened.
172
00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,408
You're taking her word over mine?
l'm your best friend.
173
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,574
But you're blind as a bat.
174
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,686
l was squinting! Remember that
drive from Wurtsboro?
175
00:09:50,389 --> 00:09:53,119
l was spotting those raccoons.
176
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,954
They were mailboxes, you idiot.
l didn't have the heart to tell you.
177
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,033
Hey, look. A dime.
178
00:10:12,378 --> 00:10:14,005
Mercury head.
179
00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:16,910
-You mind?
-No, keep it.
180
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,151
What happened?
You buzzed five minutes ago.
181
00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:27,588
There was a dog in front,
and it spooked me.
182
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:31,025
-l couldn't come in until he left.
-A little white dog?
183
00:10:31,931 --> 00:10:33,990
-Yeah.
-Snowball?
184
00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:37,665
You're afraid of Snowball?
185
00:10:38,037 --> 00:10:39,664
l'm afraid of dogs now.
186
00:10:41,073 --> 00:10:43,337
He's like a squirrel.
187
00:10:44,844 --> 00:10:46,141
Well, he frightened me.
188
00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:51,145
-Did you get the shot?
-No. He said l didn't need a shot.
189
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,979
You got bit by a strange dog,
and you didn't get a shot?
190
00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:55,711
You think l should have?
191
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:58,083
Just go back to the optical store...
192
00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:00,521
...and ask Dwayne if he knows
the dog's owner.
193
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,320
Good idea. l'm gonna do that.
194
00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:08,066
The AC's on its way.
195
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:10,759
Pardon me.
l went to see your friend Dwayne.
196
00:11:10,936 --> 00:11:12,335
There was no discount.
197
00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:14,200
-What?
-That's right. No discount.
198
00:11:14,373 --> 00:11:16,967
-Did you mention my name?
-Yes, l mentioned your name.
199
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:18,735
-And?
-Bupkis.
200
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,110
l don't believe this.
That guy owes me big time.
201
00:11:23,282 --> 00:11:25,273
l got him off sugar!
202
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,419
l'm gonna go down there
with you right now.
203
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,884
All right, let me just grab an apple.
204
00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:34,322
-Kramer, Elaine's afraid of Snowball.
-Little Snowball?
205
00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:36,324
He runs on batteries.
206
00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,262
You know, George...
207
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:40,922
...that's an onion.
208
00:11:48,507 --> 00:11:50,441
Yes, it is.
209
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:57,113
He couldn't tell an apple
from an onion...
210
00:11:57,283 --> 00:11:59,649
...and he's your eyewitness.
211
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:02,880
l saw them making out.
You can believe it.
212
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:05,819
l don't know what to believe.
Eating onions, spotting dimes.
213
00:12:05,991 --> 00:12:08,391
l don't know what the hell
is going on!
214
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,064
Look, all you gotta do is get Amy
and Jeffrey together somewhere.
215
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:16,224
-That's it.
-Hey, wait a second.
216
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,803
l'm going over to Jeffrey's tomorrow
to pick up these Paul Simon tickets.
217
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:23,169
l'm gonna surprise Amy.
All l gotta do is bring her with me.
218
00:12:23,342 --> 00:12:26,573
Then when Jeffrey opens the door,
it's Howdy Doody time.
219
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,180
Right this way, Mr. Doody.
220
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,577
You'll see. l'm right.
221
00:12:39,625 --> 00:12:41,616
-Hey, Dwayney.
-Hello, Kramer.
222
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:44,627
-What is going on here?
-What are you talking about?
223
00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:47,129
l'm talking about
the 30 percent discount.
224
00:12:47,299 --> 00:12:48,596
Excuse me.
225
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,794
-A man came in here--
-Don't interrupt, they're discounting.
226
00:12:51,971 --> 00:12:53,871
Who said anything
about a discount?
227
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,232
Oh, how quickly we forget.
228
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,309
-You owe me, buddy.
-For what?
229
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,171
-Remember this?
-What are you doing?
230
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,339
You were eating four of those
for breakfast...
231
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,816
...and chasing it with a Ring Ding
and two Butterfingers on the train.
232
00:13:07,987 --> 00:13:09,784
-Sound familiar?
-Put that away.
233
00:13:09,955 --> 00:13:12,014
Remember when l found you
at Dinky Doughnuts?
234
00:13:12,191 --> 00:13:16,389
You were all hopped up
on cinnamon swirls!
235
00:13:17,663 --> 00:13:19,528
They wouldn't serve you anymore.
236
00:13:19,698 --> 00:13:22,258
You wouldn't have teeth
if it wasn't for me taking you...
237
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,562
...to Joe's fruit stand and stuffing
cantaloupe down your throat.
238
00:13:25,738 --> 00:13:29,299
But so much for gratitude.
Yeah! Yeah!
239
00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:31,272
All right! All right!
240
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,441
l'll give him the discount.
Just put that thing away!
241
00:13:36,048 --> 00:13:37,379
But this squares us.
242
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:40,181
-Could l just have the name--?
-Out!
243
00:13:40,352 --> 00:13:42,252
We'll see you, Dwayne.
244
00:13:47,059 --> 00:13:49,721
l don't know what to tell you, Elton.
245
00:13:51,363 --> 00:13:55,265
Listen to this. This is not good.
Listen to these symptoms for rabies:
246
00:13:55,434 --> 00:13:57,698
Anxiety. lrritability.
247
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,770
l've got those. l'm irritable.
248
00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:03,499
-Who picked these out?
-l did.
249
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,473
They're ladies' glasses.
250
00:14:05,644 --> 00:14:09,239
All you need is a chain so you can
wear them while playing canasta.
251
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,344
Elaine was supposed to help me.
252
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,681
Hey, l got bit by a dog!
253
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,188
l had to go to the hospital!
l was bleeding to death!
254
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,883
l can't solve every problem you have!
255
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,358
Hey, hey.
256
00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:29,090
l'm sorry. Sorry.
257
00:14:30,936 --> 00:14:33,268
Commando 8 has arrived!
258
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:36,135
-l'll get the window.
-Twelve thousand BTUs...
259
00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:38,936
...of raw cooling power.
260
00:14:40,679 --> 00:14:42,442
Yeah.
261
00:14:43,415 --> 00:14:45,280
lnstalled.
262
00:14:51,857 --> 00:14:53,791
That's it?
You don't have to screw it in?
263
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:57,053
No. Just plug it in,
and the Commando 8 does the rest.
264
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,958
-l'll seal it up later.
-Yeah.
265
00:14:59,131 --> 00:15:02,259
-Just in time for Amy.
-When are you gonna execute that?
266
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:04,959
Oh, God.
l've got such a headache.
267
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,571
Oh, that's another symptom.
268
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,833
-Of what?
-Rabies.
269
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,738
That's fatal. You don't want that.
270
00:15:12,444 --> 00:15:14,241
l know l don't want it.
271
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:16,540
l don't need you to tell me
what l don't want...
272
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,012
...you stupid hipster doofus!
273
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:21,277
Hey, hey, what is this?
274
00:15:21,453 --> 00:15:22,784
What's going on here?
275
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,479
l'm sorry, Kramer. l'm sorry.
276
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,181
No, it's all right.
277
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,326
l had a friend who had rabies once.
278
00:15:29,995 --> 00:15:32,156
May l have one of those, madam?
279
00:15:40,439 --> 00:15:42,373
Madam? What are you
calling me madam for?
280
00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,702
They're ladies' glasses.
281
00:15:45,377 --> 00:15:46,935
Look, see? lt's right here.
282
00:15:47,112 --> 00:15:49,273
''Gloria Vanderbilt Collection.''
283
00:15:51,283 --> 00:15:53,683
He sold me ladies' glasses!
284
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:55,513
l....
285
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:59,089
l think l'm--
l'm having trouble swallowing.
286
00:16:01,860 --> 00:16:03,794
l-- l can't swallow.
287
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,865
She's got rabies,
just like my friend Bob Sacamano.
288
00:16:08,167 --> 00:16:12,536
Look at that, she's delirious.
She's foaming at the mouth!
289
00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:20,173
-ls this gonna hurt?
-Yes, very much.
290
00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,145
-What if Jeffrey's not home?
-He'll be home.
291
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,686
Friday night, the big night
on the Nature Channel.
292
00:16:30,856 --> 00:16:32,118
Let me tell you something.
293
00:16:32,291 --> 00:16:34,282
There is no way
cousin Jeffrey's dating Amy.
294
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:37,054
-He looks like a horse.
-He does look like a horse.
295
00:16:37,229 --> 00:16:40,494
Yeah, he's got a real horse face.
296
00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:43,599
Hey, look at this.
297
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:45,703
lt's the guy with the dog.
298
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:48,101
Hey! Hey, you, down there!
299
00:16:48,273 --> 00:16:49,501
Remember me?!
300
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,542
l had to get shots
because of your stupid dog!
301
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:54,474
Who are you calling stupid?
302
00:16:54,646 --> 00:16:57,547
-Hey, should we spit on him?
-No, no. Come on. Let's go down.
303
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:03,521
The air conditioner!
304
00:17:15,467 --> 00:17:17,332
l think it got the dog!
305
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,140
Oh, boy.
306
00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,712
Excuse me. l'm new here.
307
00:17:29,882 --> 00:17:32,316
Would you mind walking me
back to my locker?
308
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:35,251
Sure, why not.
309
00:17:35,854 --> 00:17:37,446
There you go.
310
00:17:39,358 --> 00:17:41,019
-Hey, that's the guy.
-What guy?
311
00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,717
The guy that stole my glasses.
312
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,261
This time l got him!
313
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:49,662
-Could you pick it up a little?
-Where the hell are we going?
314
00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:51,666
He's getting on a bus. Damn.
315
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,635
Those are nice glasses.
316
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,307
l don't like them.
They pinch my nose.
317
00:17:58,644 --> 00:18:00,612
ls that right?
318
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:05,282
My friend and l would like
to exchange frames.
319
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,942
Could you put his lenses
in my frames and mine in his?
320
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:09,844
Yeah, we can do that.
321
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,013
Excuse me one second.
322
00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:13,749
And l'd like a discount.
323
00:18:14,493 --> 00:18:15,858
Why should l?
324
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:18,360
You're lucky l'm not asking
for a whole refund.
325
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,327
You gave me ladies' frames.
326
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,126
What's that about ladies' frames?
327
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:28,900
Say, l'm trying to track down that lady
that was in here the other day.
328
00:18:29,074 --> 00:18:31,008
Well, she's trying
to track you down.
329
00:18:31,176 --> 00:18:33,235
Well, l would love to talk with her.
330
00:18:33,412 --> 00:18:36,313
-She lives on 81 st Street, right?
-That's Jerry.
331
00:18:36,482 --> 00:18:37,710
Really?
332
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,181
You wouldn't happen to know
what apartment he's in?
333
00:18:40,352 --> 00:18:41,614
Yeah, 5A.
334
00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:43,849
Thanks a lot.
335
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:49,026
-What are we doing here?
-Oh, you'll find out.
336
00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:51,389
l don't know.
You're acting very mysteriously.
337
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,123
Well, l'm very mysterious by nature.
338
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:58,399
-A lot of women find that attractive.
-l find it annoying.
339
00:19:02,674 --> 00:19:04,642
Hello!
340
00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:08,741
-Uncle Leo.
-Come on in.
341
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,346
-This is Amy.
-Hello, Amy.
342
00:19:11,517 --> 00:19:14,418
-What are you doing here?
-Jeffrey went out tonight.
343
00:19:14,887 --> 00:19:16,718
Very convenient.
344
00:19:17,055 --> 00:19:19,785
l'm supposed to tape
this nature show for him.
345
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:22,426
He loves nature, botany, zoology.
346
00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:26,257
You know, his botany teacher from
college stays in close touch with him.
347
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:28,626
-They became friends.
-Really?
348
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:30,768
That's pretty rare!
349
00:19:30,936 --> 00:19:32,460
l mean, actual friends!
350
00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:34,401
Like equals.
351
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:36,632
They have dinner together,
discussions.
352
00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:40,369
Uncle Leo, did he leave
any tickets here for me?
353
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:41,979
Oh, yeah. l'll get them.
354
00:19:42,147 --> 00:19:43,705
Thank you.
355
00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:47,579
-What tickets?
-The Paul Simon ''Concert in the Park.''
356
00:19:47,753 --> 00:19:50,984
-We're going to the concert?
-That's right, lady.
357
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:53,886
-What a great surprise!
-l thought you'd like that.
358
00:19:54,693 --> 00:19:57,321
So that's why you've been acting
so mysteriously.
359
00:19:57,496 --> 00:20:00,863
Now you know.
That and that alone is the reason.
360
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,664
You know Jeffrey's favorite animal?
361
00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:06,895
The leopard.
362
00:20:07,739 --> 00:20:11,800
-Why is that?
-He likes the spots.
363
00:20:12,444 --> 00:20:15,379
-Oh, here's the tickets.
-Thank you.
364
00:20:16,014 --> 00:20:17,914
Oh, he asked me to give you
a message.
365
00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:19,607
He said that...
366
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:23,619
...he's very sorry,
and he hopes you'll forgive him.
367
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,485
So it's true!
You were making out with him.
368
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:31,151
What are you talking about?
l don't know Jeffrey.
369
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,631
So this is why
you brought me up here.
370
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:36,393
Very convincing,
but it's not gonna work this time.
371
00:20:36,568 --> 00:20:38,593
What are you talking about?
372
00:20:38,770 --> 00:20:43,605
All he meant was that he was sorry
that the seats aren't very good.
373
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:52,807
Wanna get some pizza?
374
00:21:01,026 --> 00:21:06,259
-Boy, these really do pinch the nose.
-Tough luck. A deal's a deal.
375
00:21:06,832 --> 00:21:08,129
Oh, my God. lt is them.
376
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:33,646
l still don't know how you spotted
that dime. l think you planted it.
377
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,557
Plus, l gotta pay that vet bill
for the stupid dog.
378
00:21:36,728 --> 00:21:38,821
l don't know how that guy
got my name.
379
00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:42,327
Yeah.
380
00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:46,335
Boy, these really do pinch.
381
00:21:46,505 --> 00:21:50,464
lf l ever find the son of a bitch
that stole my glasses....
382
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:05,750
When did glasses go from being
this carefully crafted apparatus...
383
00:22:05,924 --> 00:22:07,824
...to just this mall impulse item?
384
00:22:07,993 --> 00:22:11,485
''Honey, l'm going out for yogurt
and trifocals. Need anything?''
385
00:22:11,930 --> 00:22:13,488
''Glasses in a about an hour.''
386
00:22:13,665 --> 00:22:18,534
''How much?'' ''Seventy-five bucks.''
''Well, here's 72. lt's about 75.''
387
00:22:18,704 --> 00:22:21,571
What, you're trying to coordinate
with the one-hour photo place?
388
00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:26,006
''Hurry up! Give me the glasses. My
pictures are coming. l need to see!''
389
00:22:26,878 --> 00:22:29,472
Then they have those
Woolworth glasses.
390
00:22:29,648 --> 00:22:31,878
They're there. They're there now.
391
00:22:32,084 --> 00:22:34,382
No exam. You don't have any idea
what's wrong.
392
00:22:34,553 --> 00:22:37,283
And the glasses are made up.
They're ready and waiting.
393
00:22:37,456 --> 00:22:40,118
''Thank you.''
You just walk into a wall.
30112
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