Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:16,216
Zotz!
2
00:00:16,216 --> 00:00:17,217
Zotz?
3
00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:20,220
What's Zotz?
4
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,766
(ALARM RINGING)
5
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,281
(INHALING DEEPLY) One.
6
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,283
Two.
7
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,286
Three.
8
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,290
(RATTLING)
9
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,292
Uncle Jonathan.
10
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,296
(RATTLING CONTINUES)
11
00:02:10,296 --> 00:02:12,298
(GROANS)
12
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,302
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
13
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,311
CYNTHIA: Morning,
Uncle Jonathan.
14
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,313
Morning, darling
15
00:02:27,814 --> 00:02:29,816
(HUMMING)
16
00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:33,319
Poison. Slow death.
17
00:02:33,319 --> 00:02:35,321
Yes, but what
a way to go.
18
00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:41,828
Straight sauerkraut juice!
19
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,329
How do you do it?
Very bracing.
20
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,832
You must try it sometime.
21
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,833
How's the wheat germ?
22
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,334
(CRUNCHING)
23
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:49,836
Sounds good.
24
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,838
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
Superb.
25
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,339
Oh, that must be the mailman.
No, I'll get it.
26
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:56,342
I'm expecting a journal of the
American Etymological Society.
27
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,847
(DOOR OPENS)
28
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,856
Anything for me?
29
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,859
Just a postcard from
your vacationing parents.
Hey, Venice, very pretty
30
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,361
Nothing from Eddie?
Eddie? Who's Eddie?
31
00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:18,865
You know very well who
Eddie is. Eddie Prentiss.
32
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,367
One of your brightest
pupils last term.
33
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,369
Prentiss. Prentiss.
34
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:27,373
The boy who won a fellowship
and went on an archaeological
expedition to Uk... Uk...
35
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,375
Uh, Ukranistan?
36
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:30,877
Yes. That is from Eddie.
37
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,879
Only teasing you, darling.
38
00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:39,886
Oh, look, a present.
It's a charm bracelet.
39
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:44,390
Mmm, it's very pretty.
What does Prentiss
have to say?
40
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:50,396
Just a lot of personal
stuff. You know.
41
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,397
I know.
42
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,903
But he says
he'll be home soon.
43
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,405
They found the ruins
they were looking for.
44
00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:00,907
Mmm. Excellent.
45
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:07,413
In fact, the charm
on the bracelet is
some ancient coin
46
00:04:07,413 --> 00:04:10,416
he found in a temple
they uncovered there.
47
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:16,422
It was attached to the
right hand of a gigantic
stone idol, he says.
48
00:04:16,422 --> 00:04:21,928
It's a relic from some
ancient civilization.
Isn't that exciting?
49
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:23,930
Mmm.
50
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,471
(CAR HONKING)
51
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,482
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
52
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:17,984
(CAR HONKING)
53
00:05:22,488 --> 00:05:25,491
"Shesh, shash."
54
00:05:29,996 --> 00:05:30,997
(CAR HONKING)
55
00:05:37,300 --> 00:05:38,504
(EXCLAIMS)
56
00:06:00,260 --> 00:06:02,528
Shesh, shash.
57
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:05,310
Jones!
Morning, Kellgore.
58
00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,330
You almost ran me down.
59
00:06:07,330 --> 00:06:10,360
Oh, I'm very sorry.
But I didn't, did I?
60
00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:12,380
No, but you ca
me awfully close.
61
00:06:12,380 --> 00:06:17,430
Please accept my apologies,
old man. Shesh, shash.
62
00:06:17,430 --> 00:06:18,544
Uh, what'd you say?
63
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,547
What? Say? Oh, nothing,
Kellgore, nothing.
64
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:24,550
Well, it sounded like
you said "shesh, shash."
65
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:26,520
Oh, yes, I did.
Quite right.
66
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,540
Yes. Shesh, shash.
67
00:06:29,550 --> 00:06:31,557
Morning, Kellgore.
Morning, Jones.
68
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,566
(CHATTERING)
69
00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:45,571
Good morning.
70
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:48,740
STUDENTS: Good morning,
Professor.
71
00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:56,820
Yesterday, we considered the
transmutation of certain words
72
00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:58,584
from the Assyro Babylonic.
73
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:03,890
And we noted that the Assyro
Babylonic word for house, bitu,
74
00:07:03,589 --> 00:07:07,930
appears in the
classical Hebrew as...
75
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,595
As what, Mr. Crane?
76
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,597
Uh, bayeth.
77
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,599
Well, almost right, Mr. Crane.
Thank you.
78
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,103
The correct pronunciation
is bayeth.
79
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:20,106
And who can tell us what form
the word takes in Aramaic?
80
00:07:21,607 --> 00:07:23,109
Yes, Miss Blakiston?
81
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,610
Baytha
82
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,612
Quite right, Miss Blakisto
Thank you.
83
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:29,615
You could build a tremendous
edifice of error
84
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:34,120
based on the fact
that the Hebrew and
Sanskrit words for "six"
85
00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,623
are almost identical,
although wholly unrelated.
86
00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:42,128
They are,
if I may remind you,
sheshand shash.
87
00:07:42,628 --> 00:07:44,630
Shesh, shash?
88
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:48,134
Uh, yes, sir. Right in
the middle of the campus,
this morning. Shesh, shash
89
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:50,136
Professor Kellgore, I don't
think we need worry ourselves.
90
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:54,640
Professor Jones is a very
brilliant man in the field of
ancient Eastern languages,
91
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,643
as you are brilliant
in the field of modern
European languages.
92
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:02,148
I think we can allow
him a few little
peculiarities, hmm?
93
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:05,151
Sir, I'm sure that
Professor Jones is
excellent in the classroom.
94
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,652
Well, then?
95
00:08:06,652 --> 00:08:08,654
But his executive ability...
96
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,157
Could Saracen Valley
have a dean of language
97
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,159
who goes around
muttering "shesh, shash"?
98
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,662
Hmm. Well, I haven't
retired yet, Professor,
99
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,664
nor have I named
my successor.
100
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:21,667
It's still a choice between
you and Professor Jones.
101
00:08:21,667 --> 00:08:23,169
Then you haven't
decided yet?
102
00:08:23,669 --> 00:08:25,671
Not yet.
103
00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:28,174
Then you'll take this
"shesh, shash"matter
under consideration?
104
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,675
Oh, I will, I will.
105
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:31,177
Thank you, Professor.
Good morning.
106
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,179
Good morning, Dean.
Good morning.
107
00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,183
(DOOR CLOSES)
108
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,184
Shesh, shash.
109
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,208
Uncle Jonathan?
110
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:04,210
Yes.
111
00:09:04,210 --> 00:09:06,712
How was your day?
Oh, fine.
112
00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,215
What's for dinner?
Filet of eggplant?
113
00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:11,217
Filet of eggplant.
Medium rare?
114
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,718
Of course.
Ah!
115
00:09:12,718 --> 00:09:15,721
(SNIFFING) Mmm.
116
00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:18,224
(LAUGHS)
117
00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,732
Oh, pass the
monosodium glutamate, please.
118
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,734
Thank you.
119
00:09:28,734 --> 00:09:31,237
Say, you know, dear,
he really shouldn't have
sent this to you.
120
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:33,739
That's rightfully
the property of...
121
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:35,741
Why, it's Astyparaean!
Asty what?
122
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:37,743
Hey, that's mine.
Yes, yes, I know.
123
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,245
But if you don't...
It's from Eddie.
124
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:42,748
It's like a fraternity pin
or an engagement ring.
125
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:44,250
But you don't
understand, darling.
126
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,752
That inscription is
in the ancient
Astyparaean language.
127
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:48,754
Am I supposed to
know what that is?
128
00:09:48,754 --> 00:09:50,756
It's a language
that's been dead
for over 5,000 years.
129
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,260
Why, there are only 10 men
in the world who can identify
it, much less translate it.
130
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,761
And I can.
But...
131
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:59,765
Now, look, dear,
maybe this inscription is
an ancient love poem.
132
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,268
Something Eddie would
want you to hear, hmm?
133
00:10:03,769 --> 00:10:05,771
Well...
Ah, yes, of course.
134
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:12,778
"First graspeth thou the
sacred disk in thy left hand.
135
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:21,787
"Now cometh the
letting of, letting of..."
136
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:30,796
(GRUNTS)
137
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,802
Letting of...
138
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,819
Blood, of course.
"Letting of blood.
139
00:10:53,819 --> 00:11:00,326
"And the drinking.
.. Drinking of blood."
140
00:11:00,826 --> 00:11:02,828
(CLICKING TONGUE)
141
00:11:04,330 --> 00:11:09,335
"Now remaineth
only the pronouncing
142
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:12,338
"of the sacred...
143
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:20,346
"Sacred name of
the great god, Zotz!"
144
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:49,241
No! Please! Please!
Let me in!
145
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:53,746
Please! You can't leave me out
in this storm. Not like this.
146
00:12:01,754 --> 00:12:02,755
(GASPS)
147
00:12:02,755 --> 00:12:04,256
Put this on quickly!
148
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,265
Oh. Thanks.
149
00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:15,267
You're welcome.
Now, please go.
150
00:12:15,267 --> 00:12:18,270
Like this?
Well, you can't stay here.
151
00:12:18,270 --> 00:12:21,774
But I have to.
It's the most amazing thing
that's ever happened to me.
152
00:12:21,774 --> 00:12:25,277
I'm not going to embarrass
you by asking you how
you got into this condition.
153
00:12:25,778 --> 00:12:26,779
After all, I'm
a man of the world.
154
00:12:27,279 --> 00:12:29,281
I was struck by lightning.
You were what?
155
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:33,786
Well, I was hurrying
along, trying to beat out
this sudden storm, when...
156
00:12:33,786 --> 00:12:35,788
Well, I think I was
struck by lightning.
157
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,791
Mmm. I have heard of cases
where people were struck
158
00:12:38,791 --> 00:12:41,794
by lightning and had
their clothes torn off
without hurting them.
159
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:45,297
Usually these people
were branded by
the mark of the bolt.
160
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:49,802
I seem to be all right.
161
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:53,305
Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
But you can't stay here.
162
00:12:53,806 --> 00:12:56,809
I mean, I'm a bachelor.
I don't have a wife.
I'm not married.
163
00:12:56,809 --> 00:12:58,310
Well, what can I do?
164
00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:00,813
(STAMMERING) Do? What can
you do? I don't... My niece!
165
00:13:00,813 --> 00:13:03,816
I'll wake her up. Uh, no.
166
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:07,319
She might think...
I mean, not that she'd
have any real... I mean...
167
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:09,822
I'll go upstairs and get
some of her clothes.
They'll probably fit.
168
00:13:10,322 --> 00:13:13,826
I think you're about
the same size. Anyway,
you wait right here.
169
00:13:13,826 --> 00:13:16,328
Oh, I will. I will.
170
00:13:34,346 --> 00:13:35,848
Uncle Jonathan?
171
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:38,851
Oh, it's all right, dear.
Go back to sleep.
172
00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,854
Well, what...
(STAMMERING) Nothing.
Just let it go.
173
00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:00,122
There. Now, please go!
174
00:14:00,122 --> 00:14:01,624
Well, can I put
them on first?
175
00:14:02,124 --> 00:14:05,628
Oh, oh, yes, of course.
I'll, uh, turn my back.
176
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:06,629
Oh, thanks.
177
00:14:08,130 --> 00:14:10,132
You haven't asked
me my name.
178
00:14:10,132 --> 00:14:13,636
No, I haven't.
Uh, I thought it was
better that way.
179
00:14:14,637 --> 00:14:16,138
I agree.
180
00:14:17,139 --> 00:14:18,140
Do they, uh, fit?
181
00:14:18,641 --> 00:14:19,642
Most of them.
182
00:14:19,642 --> 00:14:21,644
The shoes are
a little big, and the...
183
00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:26,148
Something else is
a little small,
but I'll get by.
184
00:14:29,151 --> 00:14:31,654
What? Oh, yes.
You can turn around now.
185
00:14:38,661 --> 00:14:41,163
(LAUGHS) Will I do?
186
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:44,667
Well, at least
you won't be cold.
187
00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:47,670
I want to thank you.
Not only for what you did,
188
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:50,172
but for what
you're going to do.
189
00:14:50,172 --> 00:14:51,674
Going to do?
190
00:14:51,674 --> 00:14:56,178
Forget about this.
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
Of course.
191
00:14:56,178 --> 00:14:59,181
Oh, you'd better
take this with you.
192
00:15:01,183 --> 00:15:03,686
Oh. Oh, no, it's stopped.
193
00:15:04,186 --> 00:15:05,688
It has?
194
00:15:07,690 --> 00:15:09,692
Why, so it has. Odd.
195
00:15:09,692 --> 00:15:13,696
"So foul and fair
a day I have not seen."
196
00:15:13,696 --> 00:15:15,197
That's Shakespeare.
197
00:15:15,197 --> 00:15:17,700
Macbeth,Act One, I know.
198
00:15:17,700 --> 00:15:19,201
You do?
Uh-huh.
199
00:15:19,201 --> 00:15:21,203
Well.
Good night.
200
00:15:21,203 --> 00:15:22,705
Uh, good night.
201
00:15:26,709 --> 00:15:29,211
Macbeth.Act One.
202
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:43,580
And there are other
basic affinities in the
languages of this group.
203
00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:46,562
For example,
in all of them,
ancient and modern,
204
00:15:47,620 --> 00:15:52,670
masculine nouns take a
feminine number, and vice
versa, from three to 10.
205
00:15:52,568 --> 00:15:56,710
Who can give us an
example of this
grammatical idiosyncrasy?
206
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:58,730
Yes, Mr. Crane?
207
00:15:58,730 --> 00:16:00,750
(GROANING)
208
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:03,579
Are you all right,
Mr. Crane? Would you
like to be excused?
209
00:16:03,579 --> 00:16:05,581
Uh, no. I'm all right now.
210
00:16:05,581 --> 00:16:08,584
Uh, it must have
been something I ate.
211
00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:13,589
Uh, an example.
The word for "goat,"
for instance, is
212
00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:16,910
masculine, but three
goats is feminine.
213
00:16:16,592 --> 00:16:19,940
Oh, very good, Mr. Crane.
That's quite right.
214
00:16:19,940 --> 00:16:22,598
And now, who can tell
us in what parts of
the modern world
215
00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:24,600
the Turkish
language is spoken?
216
00:16:26,602 --> 00:16:27,603
Yes, Miss Blakiston.
217
00:16:27,603 --> 00:16:29,104
(GROANING)
218
00:16:29,605 --> 00:16:32,107
(CHATTERING)
219
00:16:32,608 --> 00:16:35,611
Actually, although
it's not generally known,
220
00:16:35,611 --> 00:16:39,615
Osmanli is the head
of a large family
of tongues.
221
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:44,620
The Turkish language in its
several dialects is spoken
from Central Persia to...
222
00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:52,127
Is something wrong,
Professor Jones?
223
00:16:53,629 --> 00:16:57,633
Uh, wrong? Oh, no, no,
Miss Blakiston.
224
00:16:57,633 --> 00:17:00,636
From Central
Persia to Siberia.
225
00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:03,639
The dialects sometimes
differ greatly.
226
00:17:03,639 --> 00:17:04,640
For example...
227
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,142
Uh, that's fine,
Miss Blakiston, thank you.
228
00:17:07,142 --> 00:17:08,644
But I haven't finished.
229
00:17:08,644 --> 00:17:10,646
Class dismissed.
230
00:17:10,646 --> 00:17:12,147
(CHATTERING)
231
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:23,158
(GROANS)
232
00:17:29,164 --> 00:17:30,165
(SIGHS)
233
00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:40,175
"Thus is gained
the ancient threefold power,
234
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:47,683
"the first part
of which is that
235
00:17:48,183 --> 00:17:51,687
"of the pointing finger,
236
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:59,194
"known as the power
of the sudden pain."
237
00:18:03,699 --> 00:18:05,701
The sudden pain.
238
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:33,529
My goodness.
239
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:43,380
"The second part of
which is that
240
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:49,545
"of the uttered name,
241
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:55,551
"known as the power
242
00:18:56,510 --> 00:19:01,557
"of retarded movement."
243
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,700
(CLEARING THROAT)
244
00:19:16,710 --> 00:19:17,720
Zotz!
245
00:19:32,870 --> 00:19:35,900
Mercy sakes.
246
00:19:35,900 --> 00:19:42,970
"The third and
last part of which
is that of the
247
00:19:42,970 --> 00:19:47,603
"pointing finger and the
uttered name together."
248
00:19:49,605 --> 00:19:50,606
Well...
249
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,609
Zotz!
250
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:58,614
The silent death.
251
00:20:05,237 --> 00:20:09,741
"He who holdeth this
sacred disk shall be
252
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:14,246
"imbued with this dreaded
threefold power
253
00:20:14,246 --> 00:20:19,751
"only so long as it remains
in his possession.
254
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:23,255
"And should it
pass into the
hands of another,
255
00:20:23,255 --> 00:20:29,761
"that other will
hold the power
256
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:31,763
"for a short time only."
257
00:20:33,765 --> 00:20:34,766
Hmm.
258
00:20:45,777 --> 00:20:47,279
(SQUEAKING)
259
00:20:49,781 --> 00:20:51,283
(CHATTERING)
260
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:11,603
Zotz!
261
00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:32,624
Good afternoon, Jones.
262
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,626
Oh, hello, Kellgore.
263
00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:37,129
Uh, what have you got ther
It looks like a lizard.
264
00:21:37,129 --> 00:21:39,631
Lizard? Where? Oh, this.
Oh, this lizard. Oh, yes.
265
00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:42,634
Yes, a remarkable
example of saurian life.
266
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:44,636
Yes, direct descendant
of the dinosaur.
267
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:47,139
Is that so? I didn't kno
w you were interested
in that sort of thing.
268
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:50,142
Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.
Fascinating subject.
269
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:52,644
Mmm. You don't say.
270
00:21:52,644 --> 00:21:56,148
Oh, incidentally, Jones,
I suppose you've met our new
colleague, Professor Fenster?
271
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,651
No, I haven't.
What's Professor
Fenster's field?
272
00:21:59,651 --> 00:22:03,155
Modern European languages,
or so I'm told.
273
00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:04,656
Why, that's your field.
274
00:22:04,656 --> 00:22:07,159
Yes, it is. One might almost
think they're considering,
275
00:22:07,159 --> 00:22:09,161
what do you call it?
Kicking me upstairs.
276
00:22:09,161 --> 00:22:10,662
(BOTH LAUGH)
277
00:22:10,662 --> 00:22:13,165
Yeah. Or downstairs.
278
00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:17,169
Yes. Well, toodle-oo, Jone
Have fun with your dinosaur.
279
00:22:17,169 --> 00:22:18,670
(LAUGHS)
280
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:19,671
Toodle-oo.
281
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:39,691
Zotz!
282
00:22:44,696 --> 00:22:45,697
Extraordinary!
283
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:54,706
Zo...
284
00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,208
(CLEARS THROAT)
285
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,212
Professor Jones,
are you feeling all right?
286
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:03,215
Yes, sir,
never better. Yes.
287
00:23:03,215 --> 00:23:06,718
I understand you
dismissed your
class early today?
288
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:11,723
Why, yes, yes.
I gave them a heavy
assignment for the weekend.
289
00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:14,726
I thought I'd better
let them get to the
library before it closed
290
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,230
But the library is open
until 8:00 tonight.
291
00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:22,734
8:00? Oh, yes, so it is.
Yes. Hard to keep up with
these new rules.
292
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:27,739
That rule's been in
effect ever since 1918.
But no matter.
293
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,241
I'm glad I ran across you.
294
00:23:29,241 --> 00:23:32,744
I want to invite
you for cocktails this
evening in my lodgings.
295
00:23:32,744 --> 00:23:34,246
Oh, how nice.
296
00:23:34,246 --> 00:23:36,748
I want you and the other
members of the faculty to
meet a new colleague.
297
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:38,750
Oh, Professor Fenster?
298
00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:40,252
Oh, then you've met?
299
00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,254
No, no.
300
00:23:42,754 --> 00:23:46,258
Oh, well, in that case,
may we expect you at 6:00?
301
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:47,759
Oh, yes, yes, indeed.
Yes, sir.
302
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:50,262
Excellent. Splendid.
Oh, and, Professor?
303
00:23:50,262 --> 00:23:51,763
Yes, Dean.
304
00:23:51,763 --> 00:23:53,765
Don't work too hard.
305
00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,783
JONATHAN: Zotz!
306
00:24:34,306 --> 00:24:35,807
Amazing.
307
00:24:49,104 --> 00:24:51,106
Uncle Jonathan.
308
00:24:51,106 --> 00:24:53,108
Better hurry if
you're going to make
that cocktail party at 6:00.
309
00:24:53,608 --> 00:24:56,611
Yeah. Would you get me that
package on my bureau, darling?
310
00:25:06,121 --> 00:25:08,123
What's in it?
311
00:25:08,123 --> 00:25:10,125
Oh, just some things
I bought downtown.
Thank you.
312
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:12,127
I won't be here when you
get back, so don't wait up.
313
00:25:12,627 --> 00:25:14,129
You have a date?
Uh-huh. Jimmy.
314
00:25:14,129 --> 00:25:15,630
Jimmy who?
Jimmy Kellgore.
315
00:25:16,131 --> 00:25:18,133
He's not much, but he'
ll do till Eddie gets home.
316
00:25:18,133 --> 00:25:20,635
Jimmy Kellgore!
Horatio Kellgore's boy?
317
00:25:20,635 --> 00:25:25,140
Yes. Oh, it's not serious
or anything like that.
It's just a date.
318
00:25:25,140 --> 00:25:27,642
Not a date, date.
But Kellgore's son.
319
00:25:27,642 --> 00:25:31,646
Oh, Jimmy's all right.
Kind of a wolf,
but I can handle him.
320
00:25:36,151 --> 00:25:37,152
Zotz!
321
00:25:41,656 --> 00:25:42,657
Zotz!
322
00:25:46,161 --> 00:25:47,162
Zotz!
323
00:26:04,679 --> 00:26:07,182
You'd better hurry,
Uncle Jonathan.
324
00:26:13,188 --> 00:26:15,690
(CAR HONKING)
325
00:26:24,199 --> 00:26:27,202
(HONKING CONTINUES)
326
00:26:29,204 --> 00:26:31,706
All right, I'm coming.
327
00:26:31,706 --> 00:26:36,211
Cynthia, baby.
Well, are you
all ready to go?
328
00:26:36,211 --> 00:26:38,213
Anytime you are.
Okay.
329
00:26:44,386 --> 00:26:46,388
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
330
00:26:49,891 --> 00:26:53,895
Ah, Professor Jones.
How nice of you to come.
Will you have a martini?
331
00:26:54,396 --> 00:26:55,897
Oh, no, thank you, sir.
332
00:26:55,897 --> 00:26:58,900
Uh, I don't suppose you
have any sauerkraut juice?
333
00:26:58,900 --> 00:27:02,904
Why, no, I don't think.
Uh, my... Persephone?
Yes?
334
00:27:02,904 --> 00:27:05,407
Do we happen to have
any sauerkraut juice?
335
00:27:05,407 --> 00:27:08,410
Sauerkraut juice?
I don't think so.
336
00:27:08,410 --> 00:27:10,912
Oh, perhaps we
could get you a
soft drink, Professor?
337
00:27:10,912 --> 00:27:12,414
That would be fine,
Mrs. Updike.
338
00:27:12,414 --> 00:27:14,916
Take Hercules for a
moment, please, Joshua.
339
00:27:17,919 --> 00:27:21,923
And get rid of that pipe.
You know it makes
Hercules ill.
340
00:27:21,923 --> 00:27:24,926
There we are.
Thank you, Mrs. Updike.
341
00:27:24,926 --> 00:27:26,428
Get rid of that pipe
342
00:27:26,428 --> 00:27:30,932
Uh, yes, thanks.
Will you take Hercules?
Thank you so much.
343
00:27:31,433 --> 00:27:34,436
Professor, if you
only knew how much
344
00:27:34,436 --> 00:27:38,940
the dean and I
admire your abstinence
from strong drink,
345
00:27:38,940 --> 00:27:44,446
your sensible diet,
your devotion to exercise.
346
00:27:44,446 --> 00:27:48,450
As the ancients said,
Mens sana in corpore sano.
347
00:27:48,450 --> 00:27:50,452
Oh, yes, indeed.
348
00:27:50,952 --> 00:27:55,957
I think of you as one
of the great and
classic educators of yore.
349
00:27:56,458 --> 00:28:01,963
Plato, Aristotle,
in flowing robes, stately,
350
00:28:01,963 --> 00:28:03,965
sober, dignified.
351
00:28:04,466 --> 00:28:05,967
(CHUCKLES)
352
00:28:05,967 --> 00:28:12,474
Roaming the groves of
academe, dispensing
wisdom and knowledge.
353
00:28:12,474 --> 00:28:16,978
And now, please come
and meet the new
member of our faculty.
354
00:28:16,978 --> 00:28:20,482
(BOTH LAUGHING)
355
00:28:20,482 --> 00:28:24,986
Professor Fenster,
I'd like you to meet
Professor Jonathan Jones
356
00:28:24,986 --> 00:28:28,490
ancient Eastern languages.
357
00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:30,992
Glad to meet you,
Professor Jones.
358
00:28:30,992 --> 00:28:33,995
(STAMMERING) I...
Charmed.
359
00:28:34,496 --> 00:28:35,497
Joshua.
Yes, my dear.
360
00:28:35,997 --> 00:28:39,000
Please take Hercules.
Yes, a pleasure.
361
00:28:39,501 --> 00:28:43,400
There we are.
Now you'll excuse me, please.
362
00:28:43,400 --> 00:28:44,500
Oh, certainly.
Yes. Of course.
363
00:28:48,510 --> 00:28:50,110
By George, that's
a beautiful cat.
364
00:28:50,110 --> 00:28:52,130
(CLEARS THROAT)
Yes, isn't it?
365
00:28:52,130 --> 00:28:54,516
He loves strangers.
Would you like to hold him?
366
00:28:54,516 --> 00:28:56,518
(CHUCKLES) Uh...
367
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:00,210
Dean?
368
00:29:01,523 --> 00:29:05,260
Let me get this straight.
You are Professor Fenster?
369
00:29:05,260 --> 00:29:07,529
Well, my friends
call me Virginia.
370
00:29:07,529 --> 00:29:10,310
And to think you're
the famous Jonathan Jones.
371
00:29:10,310 --> 00:29:13,340
Oh, well, not so famous.
Not so famous?
372
00:29:13,340 --> 00:29:16,538
Why, everybody
in the field is familiar
with your doctorate thesis
373
00:29:16,538 --> 00:29:20,542
on the transmutation
of the Latin "F" to "B"
in Teutonic languages.
374
00:29:20,542 --> 00:29:23,440
Well, that was
quite a while ago.
375
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,470
And I simply devoured
your latest book.
376
00:29:26,470 --> 00:29:30,510
Really?
The Semantics of
Dionysius of Halicarnassus?
377
00:29:30,510 --> 00:29:32,530
Yes. I could hardly
put it down.
378
00:29:32,530 --> 00:29:37,559
Well. But I thought your
field was modern languages,
like Professor Kellgore's.
379
00:29:37,559 --> 00:29:40,610
Oh, well, it is.
Oh.
380
00:29:40,610 --> 00:29:43,565
But I've also studied
ancient Eastern languages.
381
00:29:43,565 --> 00:29:44,566
Like me.
Like you.
382
00:29:45,660 --> 00:29:48,690
I see.
Very interesting. Very.
383
00:29:48,690 --> 00:29:52,730
Uh, tell me,
of these two specialties,
Professor Fenster...
384
00:29:52,730 --> 00:29:53,740
Virginia.
385
00:29:53,575 --> 00:29:56,578
Virginia.
386
00:29:57,780 --> 00:30:02,584
Of these two specialties,
Virginia, which
will you utilize here?
387
00:30:02,584 --> 00:30:07,880
Well, I wish I knew. The dean
told me I was to prepare
myself for either course.
388
00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:10,910
He said he has an
important decision to make.
389
00:30:10,910 --> 00:30:11,593
But really, Professor Jones...
390
00:30:12,930 --> 00:30:13,940
Jonathan.
391
00:30:14,950 --> 00:30:16,970
Jonathan.
392
00:30:16,970 --> 00:30:20,602
Really, I think it's so
fascinating to meet the author
of those wonderful books.
393
00:30:20,602 --> 00:30:23,104
You can teach
me so much.
394
00:30:23,104 --> 00:30:26,107
I warn you, you're going
to see a lot of me.
395
00:30:26,107 --> 00:30:29,611
Yes, well, I've already
seen a lot of you, Virginia.
396
00:30:31,112 --> 00:30:34,115
You were going to forget all
about that, remember?
397
00:30:34,616 --> 00:30:36,618
Ah, forgive me.
I stand corrected.
398
00:31:02,143 --> 00:31:06,147
Then those charming
translations of the French
fabliau were yours?
399
00:31:06,147 --> 00:31:07,649
Yes. I loved doing them.
400
00:31:07,649 --> 00:31:10,151
I loved reading them.
401
00:31:10,151 --> 00:31:13,154
Been hunting any
dinosaurs lately, Jones?
402
00:31:13,154 --> 00:31:14,656
Not lately.
403
00:31:15,156 --> 00:31:16,658
(LAUGHING)
404
00:31:17,659 --> 00:31:19,661
What on earth did
he mean by that?
405
00:31:19,661 --> 00:31:22,163
I haven't the faintest idea.
406
00:32:00,702 --> 00:32:03,705
What's she hanging
around there for?
Oh, what a kook. If...
407
00:32:04,205 --> 00:32:05,707
(SHUSHING) Quiet
408
00:32:08,209 --> 00:32:11,212
You wouldn't be afraid to
be in that house alone with
old Jim here, would ya?
409
00:32:11,713 --> 00:32:14,215
Jimmy, you promised.
410
00:32:14,716 --> 00:32:16,718
Oh, come on.
Jimmy! Stop it!
411
00:32:16,718 --> 00:32:18,219
Oh, well, you're
safe with me.
412
00:32:18,219 --> 00:32:19,721
That's what you think.
413
00:32:19,721 --> 00:32:21,222
(HORN HONKING)
414
00:32:21,222 --> 00:32:23,224
What's the matter?
415
00:32:23,224 --> 00:32:25,727
I don't know
416
00:32:25,727 --> 00:32:29,230
I'm okay now, though.
Are you sure?
417
00:32:29,230 --> 00:32:31,733
Let's just wat
ch the movie, huh?
418
00:32:31,733 --> 00:32:32,734
Gladly.
419
00:32:34,736 --> 00:32:37,739
At Harvard, I was
a history major, actually.
420
00:32:37,739 --> 00:32:41,242
Then I narrowed my specialty
to the Asianic cultures.
421
00:32:41,242 --> 00:32:42,243
Under Professor Sandor?
422
00:32:42,243 --> 00:32:44,245
Yes. A wonderful old man.
423
00:32:44,245 --> 00:32:47,248
He stimulated my interest
in ancient languages.
424
00:32:47,248 --> 00:32:50,251
Sanskrit, Hebrew, Astyparaean.
425
00:32:50,251 --> 00:32:52,253
Astyparaean!
That reminds me.
426
00:32:52,253 --> 00:32:55,757
Excuse me for a moment,
I must speak to the dean
on an important matter.
427
00:32:56,257 --> 00:32:58,259
Sir?
428
00:32:58,259 --> 00:33:01,262
Oh, hello, my boy.
How are you getting along
with Professor Fenster?
429
00:33:01,262 --> 00:33:02,764
Oh, fine, sir.
Splendid.
430
00:33:02,764 --> 00:33:04,766
A most talented young lady.
431
00:33:04,766 --> 00:33:06,768
Yes, she is.
But I have something I
want to discuss with you
432
00:33:07,268 --> 00:33:08,770
Oh? Very well.
433
00:33:08,770 --> 00:33:10,772
Yes, sir. I had to
tell someone.
It's so important,
434
00:33:11,272 --> 00:33:13,274
and, well, you're the only
one to whom I could turn.
435
00:33:13,274 --> 00:33:14,776
Then by all means, my boy.
436
00:33:14,776 --> 00:33:16,778
Well, sir, it's
this power I have.
437
00:33:17,779 --> 00:33:19,280
Power?
Yes, sir
438
00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:21,282
The power to disable,
even to kill.
439
00:33:21,783 --> 00:33:23,284
Kill?
440
00:33:23,785 --> 00:33:26,788
I know it sounds fantastic,
and it's going to be very hard
for you to believe, but...
441
00:33:28,289 --> 00:33:30,291
Well, I really don't
know where to begin.
442
00:33:30,291 --> 00:33:32,293
May I make a suggestion?
Please do.
443
00:33:32,293 --> 00:33:35,797
Begin at the beginning,
go on until you
come to the end.
444
00:33:35,797 --> 00:33:37,799
Then stop.
445
00:33:37,799 --> 00:33:41,302
No, I think it would be
better if I begin at
the end and work back.
446
00:33:41,302 --> 00:33:44,305
In fact, that's why
I brought these along.
447
00:33:44,305 --> 00:33:47,308
I knew I'd have a hard time
convincing you without proof
448
00:33:47,308 --> 00:33:50,311
so on the way over
I stopped in at a pet shop.
449
00:33:50,311 --> 00:33:53,815
(MICE SQUEAKING)
Great Scott, Jones.
Those are mice, aren't they?
450
00:33:53,815 --> 00:33:57,318
Just white mice, sir.
But...
451
00:33:57,318 --> 00:34:00,321
They're absolutely essenti
to my demonstration, sir.
452
00:34:00,321 --> 00:34:01,322
What demonstration?
453
00:34:01,322 --> 00:34:03,825
The demonstration
of the power of Zotz
454
00:34:03,825 --> 00:34:06,327
Zotz?
Yes, sir. Zotz.
455
00:34:06,327 --> 00:34:07,829
And if you will allow me
456
00:34:07,829 --> 00:34:09,330
Well, I most certainly
will not allow you.
457
00:34:09,330 --> 00:34:12,333
Do you mean to
tell me you intend to let
these creatures out here?
458
00:34:12,333 --> 00:34:13,835
Yes, sir.
459
00:34:13,835 --> 00:34:15,837
Have you taken
leave of your senses?
460
00:34:15,837 --> 00:34:19,340
d,
Trust me, sir. Within
one split second after
those mice are release
461
00:34:19,340 --> 00:34:22,343
they will be motionles
s, harmless, lifeless.
462
00:34:25,346 --> 00:34:27,348
Zotz! Zotz! Zotz!
Jones!
463
00:34:27,849 --> 00:34:30,351
Ellen Mae,
what a lovely cake.
464
00:34:30,351 --> 00:34:32,353
It's beautiful.
465
00:34:34,355 --> 00:34:36,858
I just can't wait
to taste it.
466
00:34:38,359 --> 00:34:39,861
(ALL SCREAMING)
467
00:34:40,862 --> 00:34:42,363
(LAUGHS)
468
00:34:45,867 --> 00:34:47,368
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
469
00:34:52,373 --> 00:34:52,874
Zotz!
470
00:34:58,379 --> 00:35:00,381
Zotz! Zotz!
471
00:35:01,382 --> 00:35:03,384
(LAUGHING)
472
00:35:06,387 --> 00:35:08,389
Zotz! Zotz!
473
00:35:09,390 --> 00:35:10,391
(SCREAMING)
474
00:35:14,395 --> 00:35:15,897
(LAUGHING)
475
00:35:18,900 --> 00:35:21,402
Zotz! Zotz!
476
00:35:28,910 --> 00:35:29,911
(SCREAMS)
477
00:35:37,919 --> 00:35:39,921
Zotz! Zotz!
478
00:35:41,422 --> 00:35:43,424
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
479
00:35:44,425 --> 00:35:45,426
Zotz!
480
00:35:46,427 --> 00:35:47,929
Zotz!
481
00:35:50,431 --> 00:35:52,433
It's all right, dear.
Everything's all right.
482
00:35:54,936 --> 00:35:57,939
(SIGHS) Thank you very much.
483
00:36:04,946 --> 00:36:06,447
(SCREAMS)
484
00:36:14,455 --> 00:36:15,957
(MEOWING)
485
00:36:17,458 --> 00:36:19,460
(SNARLING)
486
00:36:19,961 --> 00:36:25,466
Zotz, I said! Zotz!
Z-O-T-Z, Zotz!
487
00:36:28,469 --> 00:36:30,471
Jones! Come up.
488
00:36:31,973 --> 00:36:33,474
Why have you done this?
489
00:36:33,474 --> 00:36:35,476
I don't understand.
It worked before.
490
00:36:35,977 --> 00:36:38,479
I simply pointed while
the coin was in my pocket.
491
00:36:38,479 --> 00:36:40,481
What coin?
This one
492
00:36:40,982 --> 00:36:42,483
The coin that I...
I'm sure I have it.
493
00:36:43,985 --> 00:36:46,988
Oh, no! Cynthia!
She must have taken it.
494
00:36:47,488 --> 00:36:49,490
What about Cynthia?
Why, this is terrible.
495
00:36:49,490 --> 00:36:51,993
She's going out tonight.
She doesn't know the
power she possesses.
496
00:36:51,993 --> 00:36:53,995
Jones! I...
Excuse me, sir.
497
00:36:53,995 --> 00:36:55,496
I must stop her.
I demand...
498
00:36:59,500 --> 00:37:01,200
(MICE SQUEAKING)
499
00:37:07,800 --> 00:37:08,900
Check.
500
00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:27,912
Cynthia? Cynthia? Cynthia?
501
00:37:47,431 --> 00:37:49,934
(DOORBELL CHIMES)
502
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,436
Cynthia? Oh.
Hello, Virginia.
503
00:37:52,436 --> 00:37:54,438
Jonathan.
Is something wrong?
504
00:37:54,438 --> 00:37:55,940
Yes, something is
terribly wrong.
505
00:37:55,940 --> 00:37:57,942
Well, what is it?
Can I help?
506
00:37:57,942 --> 00:38:00,945
No, nobody can help.
Wait a minute.
Have you got your car?
507
00:38:00,945 --> 00:38:03,447
Yes.
Well, what are we
waiting for? Let's go.
508
00:38:06,450 --> 00:38:07,952
Where to?
509
00:38:07,952 --> 00:38:09,453
I don't know.
First Street, I guess.
510
00:38:09,453 --> 00:38:11,455
And keep your eye
peeled for a hot rod
511
00:38:11,455 --> 00:38:15,459
containing a very
pretty girl and the son
of Horatio Kellgore.
512
00:38:15,459 --> 00:38:16,961
What is this all about?
513
00:38:17,461 --> 00:38:19,964
Well, there's this little...
514
00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:23,467
You wouldn't believe it.
You wouldn't believe it.
515
00:38:37,481 --> 00:38:39,483
Say, I know
a cozy, little spot
where we could...
516
00:38:39,483 --> 00:38:40,985
Just a soda, please.
517
00:38:40,985 --> 00:38:43,487
Just a soda.
Yeah, I get the message.
518
00:38:51,996 --> 00:38:53,497
There they are.
519
00:38:55,499 --> 00:38:57,100
Where do you want to go?
520
00:38:57,100 --> 00:39:00,400
How about the Sip and Dip?
521
00:39:00,504 --> 00:39:03,700
Let's see,
the Sip and Dip. That's
north of here, isn't it?
522
00:39:03,700 --> 00:39:04,508
No. It's south.
523
00:39:07,110 --> 00:39:08,512
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
524
00:39:10,514 --> 00:39:13,170
No, no. No, no, no!
525
00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:19,230
I'm sure the ice cream
parlor is that way.
526
00:39:19,230 --> 00:39:20,524
Okay.
527
00:39:26,300 --> 00:39:27,531
Follow that car!
528
00:39:33,537 --> 00:39:34,538
(BRAKES SCREECHING)
529
00:39:34,538 --> 00:39:36,540
Cynthia!
Hi, Uncle Jonathan.
530
00:39:37,410 --> 00:39:39,430
What are you doing here?
Cynthia, come home at once.
531
00:39:39,430 --> 00:39:40,440
What?
532
00:39:40,544 --> 00:39:42,460
Come home at once.
Never mind.
533
00:39:42,546 --> 00:39:45,549
Stay right there.
I'll get you.
534
00:39:45,549 --> 00:39:48,520
It's all right, darling.
Come along with me.
535
00:39:48,552 --> 00:39:51,550
But Uncle Jonathan!
No arguments.
536
00:39:51,550 --> 00:39:55,590
Well, we were only
going over to the...
Stop!
537
00:39:55,590 --> 00:39:57,561
Excuse me.
Don't do that.
Why?
538
00:39:57,561 --> 00:40:01,650
Because it's not
polite to point.
Huh?
539
00:40:01,650 --> 00:40:03,670
Come along, darling. You'd
better let me have this, too.
540
00:40:03,670 --> 00:40:06,570
And after all that, he say
"It's not polite to point."
541
00:40:08,572 --> 00:40:09,573
Uh, that's all?
542
00:40:10,740 --> 00:40:12,576
That's all.
What a kook!
543
00:40:12,576 --> 00:40:16,800
Yeah, very interesting.
Well, thank you, my boy.
Run along to bed.
544
00:40:16,580 --> 00:40:18,820
Okay. Good night, Dad.
Good night.
545
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:35,516
Good morning, darling.
Good morning.
546
00:40:35,516 --> 00:40:38,519
(HUMMING)
547
00:40:38,519 --> 00:40:41,522
(CLICKING TONGUE)
Poison. Slow death.
548
00:40:44,525 --> 00:40:47,270
Uncle Jonathan.
Yes.
549
00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:49,530
All that stuff you said
last night about the coin...
550
00:40:49,530 --> 00:40:52,320
What were you drinking
at the dean's party?
551
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,536
Soda pop, of course.
What are you implying?
552
00:40:55,536 --> 00:40:58,380
Well, it's all a little hard
to swallow, you know.
553
00:40:58,380 --> 00:41:02,543
That stuff about
ancient magic and the
pointing finger and...
554
00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:04,440
What was that word again?
555
00:41:05,450 --> 00:41:06,547
Never mind.
556
00:41:06,547 --> 00:41:08,549
Uncle Jonathan, have
you been feeling all right?
557
00:41:08,549 --> 00:41:10,551
Of course I have.
I'm in the pink of
condition.
558
00:41:10,551 --> 00:41:13,530
Well, then, why do
you have an appointment
with the doctor this morning?
559
00:41:13,530 --> 00:41:15,556
Doctor? I have no
appointment with a doctor.
560
00:41:15,556 --> 00:41:18,580
Yes, you do. At 9:00.
561
00:41:18,580 --> 00:41:21,610
Miss Carruthers of the medical
staff phoned to remind you
when you were in the shower.
562
00:41:21,562 --> 00:41:23,564
She said the dean
made the appointment.
563
00:41:23,564 --> 00:41:25,650
Really? That's odd.
564
00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:28,680
Ah, it must be the annual
physical checkup.
Good idea, actually.
565
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:32,720
Mens sana in corpore sano,
you know.
566
00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:34,740
What?
567
00:41:34,740 --> 00:41:36,577
Sound mind
in a sound body.
568
00:41:36,577 --> 00:41:39,580
9:00, you said?
I'd better be on my way.
Bye, darling.
569
00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:40,581
Bye.
570
00:41:54,940 --> 00:41:56,960
Uh, good morning.
I'm Professor Jones.
571
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,600
Oh, good morning, Professor.
You can go right in.
Dr. Kroner's expecting you.
572
00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:01,101
Thank you.
573
00:42:04,605 --> 00:42:07,107
Good morning, Dr. Kroner.
Pleasure to meet you.
574
00:42:07,107 --> 00:42:09,109
I'm Jones,
ancient Eastern languages.
575
00:42:09,109 --> 00:42:10,611
Sit down, Professor.
576
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:12,613
It's a very sensib
le thing, checkups.
577
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:15,115
As I was saying to my
niece only this morning,
578
00:42:15,115 --> 00:42:17,618
Mens sana in corpore sano.
579
00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:18,619
Quite.
580
00:42:19,119 --> 00:42:21,121
I think you'll find me
in top condition.
581
00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:24,625
Exercise, a sensible diet,
don't drink, don't smoke.
582
00:42:24,625 --> 00:42:26,126
Professor Jones,
I think perhaps...
583
00:42:26,126 --> 00:42:29,129
These are my own.
Every single one
584
00:42:29,129 --> 00:42:32,132
Hearing, perfect.
Vision, 20/20.
Blood pressure..
585
00:42:32,132 --> 00:42:33,634
Sir!
...seven. Yes?
586
00:42:34,134 --> 00:42:35,135
Please put your
clothes back on
587
00:42:35,135 --> 00:42:37,137
and then make yourself
comfortable on the couch.
588
00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:40,140
Put my clothes...
Put them back... Oh!
589
00:42:40,140 --> 00:42:44,144
Very well, if you wish.
I simply thought that I...
Couch?
590
00:42:44,144 --> 00:42:46,647
Yes. Just lie down and relax.
591
00:42:50,651 --> 00:42:53,153
You mean you're
that kind of a doctor?
592
00:42:53,153 --> 00:42:54,655
(CHUCKLING)
593
00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:56,657
Now, don't worry about
a thing, Professor.
594
00:42:56,657 --> 00:43:00,160
The dean sent me to you?
He thinks I'm crazy?
595
00:43:00,661 --> 00:43:03,163
Now, now, now, now.
Crazy's an unfortunate
word, don't you agree?
596
00:43:03,163 --> 00:43:06,667
I certainly do! And if you
think I'm going to submit
to an examination by a...
597
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:09,169
Do you always
react so violently?
598
00:43:09,169 --> 00:43:10,671
Violently?
599
00:43:10,671 --> 00:43:14,675
Why, no. Not at all.
In fact, I'm a quiet man
600
00:43:14,675 --> 00:43:16,176
Studious.
601
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:20,681
Oh, I see, quiet
and studious sometimes
and violent at other times.
602
00:43:20,681 --> 00:43:23,183
Almost like two
different people, hmm?
603
00:43:23,183 --> 00:43:26,186
Now, look here.
If you're trying to say
I'm schizophrenic...
604
00:43:26,186 --> 00:43:28,689
Oh. Do you feel that
I'm persecuting you?
605
00:43:28,689 --> 00:43:29,690
No!
606
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:44,655
It all began when my niece
received a charm bracelet.
607
00:43:49,660 --> 00:43:50,661
Oh, Professor Kellgore.
608
00:43:50,661 --> 00:43:52,162
Professor Fenster.
609
00:43:52,162 --> 00:43:55,165
Do you know where I might find
Professor Jones this morning?
610
00:43:56,166 --> 00:43:58,168
I have a little
translation problem
611
00:43:58,168 --> 00:43:59,670
I'd like to discuss
with him.
612
00:43:59,670 --> 00:44:01,171
Jones? Jones?
613
00:44:01,171 --> 00:44:03,674
No, I haven't seen him
since the cocktail party
yesterday evening.
614
00:44:03,674 --> 00:44:06,677
(LAUGHS) Behaved very
peculiarly, didn't he?
615
00:44:06,677 --> 00:44:09,680
Perhaps I can help.
616
00:44:09,680 --> 00:44:14,184
Well, I'm afraid it's in t
field of ancient languages
Professor Kellgore.
617
00:44:14,184 --> 00:44:15,686
Call me Horatio.
618
00:44:16,186 --> 00:44:17,688
(BELL RINGING)
619
00:44:18,188 --> 00:44:21,191
Well, I must run.
Thanks, anyway.
620
00:44:27,197 --> 00:44:28,699
Please continue, Professor.
621
00:44:28,699 --> 00:44:31,201
That's all there is to tell.
622
00:44:31,201 --> 00:44:32,703
Yes.
623
00:44:33,203 --> 00:44:34,705
Now, if I understand
you correctly,
624
00:44:35,205 --> 00:44:37,207
you say that
you're actually able to
destroy living creatures
625
00:44:37,207 --> 00:44:38,709
by pointing your
finger at them
626
00:44:38,709 --> 00:44:41,712
and speaking this
word, "Zotz."
627
00:44:41,712 --> 00:44:44,715
Yes, but only if
the coin is on my person.
628
00:44:46,717 --> 00:44:49,720
Don't you see that all
this is mere delusion?
629
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:52,222
Delusion?
Why, I've seen it
with my own eyes.
630
00:44:52,723 --> 00:44:56,226
A line of people on
the sidewalk, mown down
as if by a machine gun.
631
00:44:56,226 --> 00:44:57,227
Hallucination.
632
00:44:57,728 --> 00:44:59,229
It was not hallucination
633
00:44:59,229 --> 00:45:02,733
And there was the moth
and the cat and the ships
634
00:45:02,733 --> 00:45:05,235
and the squirrel
and the dinosaur
635
00:45:05,235 --> 00:45:07,738
The dinosaur, Professor?
636
00:45:07,738 --> 00:45:11,742
I mean, the lizard.
Just a little lizard,
you know.
637
00:45:11,742 --> 00:45:16,747
Yes. Yes, of course. It was
a baby dinosaur, wasn't it?
638
00:45:16,747 --> 00:45:19,750
Yeah, it was...
No, no, no.
639
00:45:19,750 --> 00:45:22,753
Professor Jones,
you're an intelligent man
and I won't try to humor you
640
00:45:23,253 --> 00:45:24,755
But surely you can understand
that these delusions of yours
641
00:45:25,255 --> 00:45:27,257
are merely a result
of your repressed hostility,
642
00:45:27,257 --> 00:45:30,260
your aggressive feelings
toward society.
643
00:45:30,761 --> 00:45:34,765
I have no aggressive feeling
toward society, Dr. Kroner.
644
00:45:34,765 --> 00:45:36,767
I must confess,
at this moment,
however,
645
00:45:36,767 --> 00:45:39,770
I have aggressive
feelings toward you.
646
00:45:39,770 --> 00:45:43,774
(CHUCKLES) Well, that's
a perfectly normal reaction.
647
00:45:43,774 --> 00:45:45,776
As a matter of fact,
you're a classic case.
648
00:45:45,776 --> 00:45:48,779
I will not be referred
to as a "classic case!"
649
00:45:48,779 --> 00:45:50,280
Sir, this power of
yours does not exist.
650
00:45:50,781 --> 00:45:52,282
It does exist!
651
00:45:52,282 --> 00:45:53,784
Then show me.
What?
652
00:45:54,284 --> 00:45:55,786
Show me. Convince me.
653
00:45:55,786 --> 00:45:57,287
Demonstrate this
horrible force,
654
00:45:57,287 --> 00:45:59,289
this power you have
over life and death.
655
00:45:59,790 --> 00:46:02,793
Very well. But what shall
I demonstrate it on?
656
00:46:03,794 --> 00:46:05,295
Me.
657
00:46:05,295 --> 00:46:07,297
Oh, I couldn't do that.
658
00:46:07,297 --> 00:46:09,299
Why not?
Well, it would
cause you pain.
659
00:46:09,299 --> 00:46:10,801
Well, now why should
that concern you?
660
00:46:10,801 --> 00:46:12,803
You've already said
that you have aggressive
feelings toward me.
661
00:46:12,803 --> 00:46:14,805
Here's your chance
to unleash them.
662
00:46:14,805 --> 00:46:16,306
Oh, I can't.
663
00:46:16,306 --> 00:46:18,308
Of course you can't.
Because this power
is not real.
664
00:46:18,809 --> 00:46:20,310
It is.
It's imaginary.
665
00:46:20,811 --> 00:46:21,812
It's not.
Not what?
666
00:46:22,312 --> 00:46:25,315
Not real. I mean imaginary.
667
00:46:25,315 --> 00:46:29,319
There, you see?
You can't distinguish between
reality and imagination.
668
00:46:29,319 --> 00:46:32,322
I'm sorry, Doctor,
but there's no other way
669
00:46:32,322 --> 00:46:35,826
(LAUGHS) You put on
a good act, Professor.
670
00:46:35,826 --> 00:46:39,329
Remember, you brought
this on yourself.
671
00:46:39,329 --> 00:46:41,331
Go ahead. Take out
your hostility on me.
672
00:46:41,331 --> 00:46:43,834
It will do you
a world of good.
673
00:46:43,834 --> 00:46:44,835
(LAUGHING)
674
00:46:44,835 --> 00:46:47,337
(GROANING)
675
00:46:50,340 --> 00:46:52,843
I was doubled over,
like this.
676
00:46:52,843 --> 00:46:54,344
It was very painful.
677
00:46:54,344 --> 00:46:55,846
Perhaps he hypnotized you.
678
00:46:56,346 --> 00:46:59,349
Well, I know a bit more abou
hypnosis than you do, Dean,
679
00:46:59,349 --> 00:47:01,852
and I can assure you
I was not hypnotized
680
00:47:01,852 --> 00:47:03,353
Then, how do you
explain it?
681
00:47:03,353 --> 00:47:05,355
Very simple.
Appendicitis
682
00:47:05,355 --> 00:47:08,859
I shall enter
the hospital the first
thing in the morning.
683
00:47:08,859 --> 00:47:10,861
No, no.
Of course not, my boy.
684
00:47:10,861 --> 00:47:12,863
It's simply that I think
you need a rest.
685
00:47:13,363 --> 00:47:14,865
Sir, I'm in perfect health.
686
00:47:14,865 --> 00:47:16,867
Go away for a few days.
A week.
687
00:47:16,867 --> 00:47:19,369
Please, sir,
if you'd only
listen to me
688
00:47:19,369 --> 00:47:22,372
Go someplace to relax.
Take a trip.
689
00:47:22,372 --> 00:47:23,373
A trip?
690
00:47:23,874 --> 00:47:24,374
Yes.
691
00:47:26,376 --> 00:47:27,377
A trip.
692
00:47:51,285 --> 00:47:52,786
Well, I think you'd better try
Lieutenant Stefanski, sir.
693
00:47:53,287 --> 00:47:54,288
He may be able
to help you.
694
00:47:54,288 --> 00:47:55,789
You don't understand
695
00:47:55,789 --> 00:47:57,791
I don't want him to help m
I want to help him.
696
00:47:58,292 --> 00:48:00,794
Yes, sir.
But you'd better see
the lieutenant anyway.
697
00:48:00,794 --> 00:48:05,799
You'll find him
in 3C-4L-3-S-19.
698
00:48:05,799 --> 00:48:07,801
Three C...
It's very simple, sir.
699
00:48:07,801 --> 00:48:12,806
You see, this building
has five sides,
A, B, C, D and E.
700
00:48:12,806 --> 00:48:17,311
Now 3C means
the third floor
of side C. That way.
701
00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:18,312
That way.
702
00:48:18,812 --> 00:48:21,315
The next number tells you
what corridor to take.
703
00:48:21,315 --> 00:48:23,317
Four.
That's right over there.
704
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:24,318
Over there.
705
00:48:25,819 --> 00:48:28,322
The second three
means the third court,
706
00:48:28,322 --> 00:48:31,325
then, S-19 is the 19th
stanchion on your left.
707
00:48:32,326 --> 00:48:33,827
You can't miss it, sir.
708
00:48:34,828 --> 00:48:37,831
Thank you. What was
that floor again?
709
00:48:37,831 --> 00:48:39,833
Third floor, sir.
Third floor.
710
00:48:49,343 --> 00:48:53,847
You see, Lieutenant Stefanski,
they sent me in
to see you, but...
711
00:48:56,850 --> 00:48:59,353
Professor Jones, I'm afraid
the army isn't interested.
712
00:48:59,353 --> 00:49:01,855
There are many such
suggestions that come
across my desk every day,
713
00:49:02,356 --> 00:49:03,357
and we are not interested.
714
00:49:03,357 --> 00:49:04,858
(GROANS)
Now you listen to me...
715
00:49:18,372 --> 00:49:21,875
Oh, now be reasonable, Henry.
I handled the last one.
716
00:49:22,376 --> 00:49:26,880
That screwball with the
steam-operated machine gun.
It's your turn now.
717
00:49:26,880 --> 00:49:29,383
What do you mean,
you've got a stomach ache?
718
00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:33,887
What about
Lieutenant Stefanski?
Captain Byron? Major Foulger?
719
00:49:34,888 --> 00:49:36,890
They've all got
stomach aches?
720
00:49:36,890 --> 00:49:40,394
I tell you, it's that
lousy food they serve
in the cafeteria.
721
00:49:41,395 --> 00:49:44,398
All right. All right,
send him over.
722
00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,400
(SIGHS)
723
00:49:53,407 --> 00:49:54,408
(KNOCKS AT DOOR)
724
00:49:54,908 --> 00:49:55,909
Yes?
725
00:49:57,411 --> 00:49:58,912
General Bullivar.
Yes.
726
00:49:58,912 --> 00:50:00,414
There's a Professor Jones
who wishes to see you.
727
00:50:00,914 --> 00:50:02,916
I know. I know.
Tell him to wheel it in.
728
00:50:02,916 --> 00:50:03,917
Wheel what in, sir?
729
00:50:04,418 --> 00:50:05,919
A death ray, or whatever it is
he thinks he's invented.
730
00:50:06,420 --> 00:50:09,423
He doesn't have
anything with him, sir.
Not even a briefcase.
731
00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:12,426
Oh, one of those
quiet ones, huh?
732
00:50:14,928 --> 00:50:17,931
Well, I guess there's no use
delaying it. Send him in.
733
00:50:17,931 --> 00:50:18,932
Yes, sir
734
00:50:27,941 --> 00:50:29,443
Professor Jones, sir
735
00:50:33,447 --> 00:50:35,949
Hello there, how are you?
736
00:50:35,949 --> 00:50:38,952
So you're the fellow that's
come all the way from
California just to talk to us.
737
00:50:39,453 --> 00:50:41,455
Yes, sir.
I'm delighted to
meet you, Professor.
738
00:50:41,455 --> 00:50:43,457
Thank you, General.
Sit down. Sit down.
Make yourself comfortable.
739
00:50:43,957 --> 00:50:45,459
(CLEARS THROAT) Well,
thank you very much.
740
00:50:45,459 --> 00:50:47,461
Well, did you have
a pleasant trip?
741
00:50:47,461 --> 00:50:48,462
Most pleasant, thanks.
742
00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:50,964
And how are you enjoying
your visit to the capital?
743
00:50:50,964 --> 00:50:52,466
Well, I only arrived
this morning...
744
00:50:52,466 --> 00:50:55,469
Now, take my advice,
don't miss
the Lincoln Memorial.
745
00:50:55,969 --> 00:51:01,475
It's a very moving experience.
It brings tears to my eyes
every time I see it.
746
00:51:01,475 --> 00:51:03,477
Well, I'm sure it's
most impressive.
Have a cigar.
747
00:51:03,477 --> 00:51:06,480
What? No, thank you.
Do you mind if I get
right to the point?
748
00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:09,483
Oh, yes, of course.
The colonel mentioned
something about a new weapon.
749
00:51:09,483 --> 00:51:10,984
Well, it's not
exactly a weapon
750
00:51:11,485 --> 00:51:14,488
Oh? Well, what is it?
A gun, a bomb?
751
00:51:14,488 --> 00:51:16,990
Would you be interested
in a method to immobilize,
752
00:51:16,990 --> 00:51:21,495
even destroy, as you
choose, every living thing
within range of vision?
753
00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:23,997
Ships, tanks, planes
754
00:51:24,998 --> 00:51:27,000
How do you intend
to go about this?
755
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:31,400
Light rays?
Sound vibrations?
Black magic?
756
00:51:32,500 --> 00:51:33,600
Yes.
757
00:51:33,600 --> 00:51:34,508
Yes, what?
758
00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:38,512
Black magic. You see,
I'm a human weapon.
759
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:45,180
Now, look, Professor,
I do not have the time
to stand around making jokes.
760
00:51:45,180 --> 00:51:46,520
I'm not joking,
I assure you.
761
00:51:46,520 --> 00:51:48,522
A human weapon!
Are you serious?
762
00:51:48,522 --> 00:51:51,240
I've never been mo
re serious in my life
763
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:52,526
You see...
764
00:51:52,526 --> 00:51:54,528
(LAUGHING)
765
00:51:54,528 --> 00:51:56,530
I see. I see.
766
00:51:56,530 --> 00:51:58,310
You're some sort
of a magician, huh?
767
00:51:58,310 --> 00:51:59,533
What?
768
00:51:59,533 --> 00:52:01,535
Look, I'm afraid they've sent
you to the wrong department.
769
00:52:02,350 --> 00:52:05,380
Now what you want is
the Entertainment Division
of Special Services.
770
00:52:05,380 --> 00:52:07,400
I'll make one little
phone call and settle
this whole thing for you.
771
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:09,420
No! Wait! Wait!
772
00:52:09,420 --> 00:52:10,544
Now, get me Colonel...
773
00:52:10,544 --> 00:52:11,545
General! I can prove it.
774
00:52:12,546 --> 00:52:14,470
Never mind.
775
00:52:16,550 --> 00:52:17,551
All right, prove it.
776
00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,560
Excuse me.
777
00:52:28,610 --> 00:52:30,564
(AIRPLANE WHIRRING)
778
00:52:30,564 --> 00:52:32,650
Look. That airplane up there.
779
00:52:32,650 --> 00:52:33,567
Uh-huh.
780
00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,574
Now watch this.
I'm watching
781
00:52:46,580 --> 00:52:47,581
You see?
782
00:52:47,581 --> 00:52:50,584
Wonderful! Marvelous!
783
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:56,590
Now watch this.
784
00:52:56,590 --> 00:52:58,910
Uh-huh.
785
00:53:08,510 --> 00:53:13,560
There. And the secret
lies in this ancient coin.
786
00:53:13,557 --> 00:53:16,560
In that coin?
Well, well, well
787
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:18,562
And you see,
this makes it possible to...
788
00:53:19,620 --> 00:53:21,640
You know, this is
a marvelous little inventi
you have here, Professor.
789
00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:22,650
Well, it's not exactly
an invention...
790
00:53:22,566 --> 00:53:23,567
I'll tell you what
I'm going to do.
791
00:53:24,670 --> 00:53:26,570
I'm going to have my
secretary help you fill out
792
00:53:26,570 --> 00:53:29,573
form number W5A16,
in quadruplicate...
793
00:53:29,573 --> 00:53:31,740
But, sir...
This will be filed
794
00:53:31,740 --> 00:53:34,770
and duly considered
at the next meeting
of the Chiefs of Staff.
795
00:53:34,770 --> 00:53:35,579
How long before
I hear from you?
796
00:53:35,579 --> 00:53:38,582
Well, the next meeting is
sometime in December.
797
00:53:38,582 --> 00:53:39,583
December!
Yes, yes.
798
00:53:40,830 --> 00:53:41,585
Of course, anything
suggested at that meeting
799
00:53:41,585 --> 00:53:44,870
will have to be forwarded
onto higher echelons.
800
00:53:44,870 --> 00:53:46,890
But this power of mine
is immediate...
801
00:53:46,890 --> 00:53:48,592
Well, of course,
I believe that if you leave
your name and address,
802
00:53:48,592 --> 00:53:52,950
you can expect
to receive some sort of
communication from us
803
00:53:52,950 --> 00:53:53,597
after the first of the year.
804
00:53:53,597 --> 00:53:55,980
What sort of communication?
Well, now...
805
00:53:55,980 --> 00:53:58,101
General, don't you think
the state of world
conditions today
806
00:53:58,101 --> 00:53:59,102
demands that you
take immediate...
807
00:53:59,603 --> 00:54:01,104
I think that you're
absolutely right,
808
00:54:01,104 --> 00:54:04,608
and we are wasting
time standing here
talking about it.
809
00:54:05,108 --> 00:54:06,109
Yes, we are.
810
00:54:06,109 --> 00:54:07,611
I'm glad that we
see eye to eye.
811
00:54:07,611 --> 00:54:10,614
And I will start the wheels
in motion right now.
812
00:54:12,115 --> 00:54:14,117
Corporal, I want you
to drop everything
813
00:54:14,618 --> 00:54:18,121
and help Professor Jones
here fill out form W5A16.
814
00:54:18,121 --> 00:54:19,122
Thank you, Professor.
815
00:54:19,122 --> 00:54:20,624
No, sir, but, General...
816
00:54:24,127 --> 00:54:26,630
Please sit down, Professor.
This may take a while.
817
00:54:26,630 --> 00:54:29,132
Well, thanks,
but don't bother.
818
00:54:29,132 --> 00:54:32,135
But what about form W5A16?
819
00:54:32,135 --> 00:54:34,638
You tell the general
that he can...
820
00:54:35,639 --> 00:54:37,140
Oh, never mind.
821
00:54:43,647 --> 00:54:47,150
I beg your pardon.
Don't I know you?
822
00:54:48,652 --> 00:54:52,656
No, I don't believe so.
My name is Hugh Fundy.
823
00:54:55,158 --> 00:54:56,660
What is that, may I ask?
824
00:54:56,660 --> 00:54:59,162
This? This is a death ray.
825
00:54:59,162 --> 00:55:01,665
Oh. Well, good luck.
826
00:55:01,665 --> 00:55:03,166
(GROANS)
827
00:55:15,312 --> 00:55:17,314
Uncle Jonathan, I didn't
expect you home tonight.
828
00:55:17,314 --> 00:55:19,816
Well, I decided
to cut my trip short.
829
00:55:19,816 --> 00:55:21,318
Hey, you're all
dressed up. How come?
830
00:55:21,318 --> 00:55:23,820
For the farewell dinner
for the dean, you remember.
831
00:55:23,820 --> 00:55:25,322
Gee, it's nice
you returned
in time for it.
832
00:55:25,822 --> 00:55:27,324
Yeah, I'd better change.
I won't be five minutes.
833
00:55:27,824 --> 00:55:29,326
Well, I'll meet you
at the country club.
834
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:31,328
Can't you wait
while I change?
835
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:34,831
Well, gee, Uncle Jonathan,
I expected you to be
out of town tonight,
836
00:55:34,831 --> 00:55:37,834
(CAR HONKING)
and I told Jimmy I'd go
with him. And there he is.
837
00:55:37,834 --> 00:55:41,338
Bye, see you at the club.
There's sauerkraut juice
in the fridge.
838
00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,339
I'm coming!
839
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:44,841
(DOOR CLOSES)
840
00:55:47,844 --> 00:55:49,346
Virginia!
841
00:55:58,855 --> 00:56:00,857
(PHONE RINGING)
842
00:56:00,857 --> 00:56:03,860
Hello.
Oh, hello, Virginia?
843
00:56:03,860 --> 00:56:04,861
Jonathan.
844
00:56:04,861 --> 00:56:07,364
Oh, Jonathan,
you're back.
So soon?
845
00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,366
Yeah, I got homesick,
I guess.
846
00:56:09,366 --> 00:56:11,368
Say, the reason
I'm calling, I...
847
00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:14,371
I thought I might
escort you to the
farewell dinner tonight.
848
00:56:14,871 --> 00:56:18,875
Well, I'm awfully sorry,
but I was sure you'd be
away and I...
849
00:56:18,875 --> 00:56:22,379
Well, I accepted
an invitation to
go with Horatio.
850
00:56:22,379 --> 00:56:24,881
Horatio. Kellgore?
851
00:56:25,882 --> 00:56:28,385
Well, yes. You see...
852
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:31,888
Oh, I'm sorry.
Now, please try
to understand.
853
00:56:31,888 --> 00:56:35,392
Oh, I understand.
I understand perfectly.
854
00:56:37,894 --> 00:56:39,396
Oh, Jonathan.
855
00:56:39,896 --> 00:56:40,897
Bye.
856
00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,920
Well, here we are.
857
00:57:10,927 --> 00:57:13,430
Dean Updike, of course,
and Mrs. Updike,
858
00:57:13,430 --> 00:57:14,931
Professor Adams,
the principal
859
00:57:14,931 --> 00:57:17,434
and, Virginia,
I want you to sit there,
860
00:57:17,434 --> 00:57:19,436
and of course, I shall occupy
the speaker's chair.
861
00:57:19,436 --> 00:57:21,438
Is everything satisfactory,
Professor Kellgore?
862
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:22,939
Oh, yes.
Yes, it seems to be.
863
00:57:22,939 --> 00:57:25,442
Of course, this is
a very special occasion,
you understand.
864
00:57:25,442 --> 00:57:27,944
I want everything exactly
right. I've made myself
personally responsible.
865
00:57:28,445 --> 00:57:29,946
Of course.
866
00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:32,449
Perhaps I may have the
waiter bring you a cocktail
before the others arrive?
867
00:57:32,449 --> 00:57:34,451
No, no. It might
relax me too much.
868
00:57:34,951 --> 00:57:36,953
(LAUGHS) Have to make
a speech right after dinner.
869
00:57:36,953 --> 00:57:39,456
Yes.
Good evening.
870
00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:41,458
Hello. Hi, Dad. Hello,
Professor Fenster.
871
00:57:41,958 --> 00:57:43,460
Hello, Jimmy.
Hello, Cynthia.
872
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:45,462
Just in time, James.
Good evening, Cynthia.
873
00:57:45,462 --> 00:57:47,964
I'm so sorry your uncle won't
be able to make it tonight.
874
00:57:48,465 --> 00:57:49,466
Better check the wine.
875
00:57:49,966 --> 00:57:51,968
Oh, but he's back.
I told him to meet us here.
876
00:57:51,968 --> 00:57:54,471
I know, dear,
but when I talked to h
im on the phone just now,
877
00:57:54,471 --> 00:57:58,475
he said he was too
exhausted from his tri
p, that he wouldn't come.
878
00:57:58,475 --> 00:58:00,477
Virginia, would you
check the guest list?
879
00:58:01,978 --> 00:58:03,480
It's a good thing,
if you ask me.
880
00:58:03,980 --> 00:58:05,982
What do you mean?
881
00:58:05,982 --> 00:58:08,485
Well, we all want everythi
to be nice for the dean's
farewell dinner, don't we?
882
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,487
Are you implying
that my Uncle Jonathan...
883
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:13,490
Look, don't get be
nt out of shape.
Your uncle's okay.
884
00:58:13,490 --> 00:58:16,993
I guess. But everybody kno
he's a little bit kooks.
885
00:58:16,993 --> 00:58:18,995
Kooks!
Yeah.
886
00:58:18,995 --> 00:58:21,498
Well, like that night
he chased us in
Professor Fenster's car.
887
00:58:21,498 --> 00:58:23,500
And, well, you
heard about those
mice, didn't you?
888
00:58:24,000 --> 00:58:25,502
Jimmy Kellgore, if you...
889
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:27,300
Oh, forget it.
Let's sit down, huh?
890
00:58:27,300 --> 00:58:28,505
James?
Yeah, Dad?
891
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:30,600
Would you come here?
892
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:31,508
Excuse me.
893
00:58:34,100 --> 00:58:35,512
Yeah, Dad?
894
00:58:35,512 --> 00:58:37,514
Now, James, I want to
caution you about the
way you behave tonight.
895
00:58:37,514 --> 00:58:39,516
No raucousness
or ungentlemanly
behavior.
896
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:41,170
Oh, sure, Dad.
897
00:58:41,170 --> 00:58:43,190
This is a very important
evening, you understand.
898
00:58:43,190 --> 00:58:45,210
The dean still hasn't
named a successor,
899
00:58:45,210 --> 00:58:49,526
and his decision could stand
or fall on the impression
that I create at the dinner.
900
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:51,528
Understand?
I dig.
901
00:58:51,528 --> 00:58:53,530
Don't... Speak English.
902
00:59:34,700 --> 00:59:35,572
(LAUGHS) Oh, dear.
903
00:59:35,572 --> 00:59:37,730
Good evening, my dear Dean.
904
00:59:37,730 --> 00:59:38,740
Professor.
905
00:59:38,740 --> 00:59:40,760
Good evening... Oh!
906
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:44,800
Mrs. Updike. May I say
that you look dangerously
lovely this evening?
907
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:45,810
(LAUGHS)
908
00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:50,860
Professor Kellgore,
you say the
most awful things.
909
00:59:50,860 --> 00:59:52,880
It was very nice of you
to preside tonight, Kellgore.
910
00:59:52,880 --> 00:59:54,900
Well, when I heard
that Professor Jones
would be absent,
911
00:59:54,900 --> 00:59:56,920
I felt that someone
had to take things in hand.
912
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:59,950
Yes, quite so.
Poor Jones.
913
00:59:59,950 --> 01:00:05,602
Excellent man, really, but...
I'm sorry, my dear,
I didn't mean to...
914
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:08,104
That's all right, sir.
915
01:00:08,104 --> 01:00:12,108
Shall we sit down?
The others should
be along presently.
916
01:00:12,108 --> 01:00:14,611
Dean, the chair of honor,
of course. There you are
917
01:00:14,611 --> 01:00:16,112
Get out of the way,
will you?
918
01:00:16,112 --> 01:00:20,116
Mrs. Updike, would you grace
our table with your radiance?
919
01:00:20,116 --> 01:00:22,619
Charmed.
920
01:00:22,619 --> 01:00:26,623
"When in disgrace with
fortune and men's eyes
921
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:31,127
"I all alone beweep
my outcast state."
922
01:00:31,127 --> 01:00:32,629
Here's how.
923
01:00:37,133 --> 01:00:41,137
"And trouble deaf heaven
with my bootless cries,
924
01:00:41,137 --> 01:00:44,641
"and look upon myself,
and curse my fate."
925
01:00:46,142 --> 01:00:47,143
Oh...
926
01:00:52,148 --> 01:00:56,653
And speaking of our
beloved dean's regretted
departure from our midst
927
01:00:56,653 --> 01:01:01,658
I would like to borrow an
aphorism from the works
of the great La Rochefoucauld.
928
01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:02,659
The...
929
01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:13,169
Hello, everybody.
Sorry I'm late.
Accept my apologies, Horatio.
930
01:01:13,169 --> 01:01:16,172
Yes, yes. It's good to see
you, Jones. Most unexpected.
931
01:01:16,172 --> 01:01:17,674
Did you have a nice trip?
932
01:01:17,674 --> 01:01:19,175
Fantastic.
933
01:01:19,676 --> 01:01:22,178
I hope you didn't miss
the Lincoln Memorial,
a very moving experience
934
01:01:22,178 --> 01:01:25,682
Brings tears to my eyes
every time I see it.
935
01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:27,183
(LAUGHS)
936
01:01:27,183 --> 01:01:29,185
Yeah, well,
if you don't mind,
just sit down, please.
937
01:01:29,185 --> 01:01:30,687
Yes.
938
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:32,689
Traitor.
939
01:01:33,189 --> 01:01:34,190
Jonathan, you...
940
01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:35,692
n.
Don't bother to explai
941
01:01:36,192 --> 01:01:37,694
(GLASS TINKLING)
942
01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:42,699
My dear friends...
943
01:01:42,699 --> 01:01:44,200
Friends?
944
01:01:44,200 --> 01:01:45,201
(SCOFFS)
945
01:01:46,703 --> 01:01:50,206
My dear and true friends,
946
01:01:50,206 --> 01:01:54,711
although I usually abstain
from intoxicating spirits,
947
01:01:54,711 --> 01:01:57,213
I would on this occasi
on like to indulge
948
01:01:57,714 --> 01:02:01,718
in sort of a token
sip of this
ceremonial champagne
949
01:02:02,218 --> 01:02:04,721
It is indeed fitting
that I propose a toast
950
01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:06,222
to our beloved dean.
951
01:02:06,723 --> 01:02:10,727
And put into words
the true feelings
in my heart...
952
01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:11,728
JONATHAN: Zotz!
953
01:02:12,729 --> 01:02:18,735
(DISTORTED) Your knowledge
954
01:02:18,735 --> 01:02:24,240
has been a guiding hand
955
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:31,247
for all these many years
956
01:02:33,249 --> 01:02:40,256
building towards dedication
957
01:02:40,256 --> 01:02:44,761
to something recognized
958
01:02:44,761 --> 01:02:49,265
the whole world over
959
01:02:49,265 --> 01:02:54,270
in the tremendous force
960
01:02:54,270 --> 01:03:00,276
of the noble language.
961
01:03:01,277 --> 01:03:06,783
And so on this
962
01:03:06,783 --> 01:03:12,789
emotional occasion...
963
01:03:12,789 --> 01:03:14,290
(LAUGHING)
964
01:03:14,290 --> 01:03:17,794
It's disgraceful.
The man's making a drunken
exhibition of himself.
965
01:03:17,794 --> 01:03:19,295
I know, my dear,
but what can I do?
966
01:03:19,295 --> 01:03:20,797
Assert yourself.
967
01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:24,300
(DISTORTED)
...hold this party
968
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:25,802
in recognition...
969
01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:28,304
Yes, yes, Kellgore.
Very nice indeed of you.
970
01:03:28,805 --> 01:03:29,806
Thank you.
971
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:36,813
But I haven't finished yet.
972
01:03:36,813 --> 01:03:39,816
Thank you, Kellgore.
That will be all.
973
01:03:39,816 --> 01:03:42,819
(DISTORTED GROANING)
974
01:03:56,833 --> 01:04:00,837
I'm sure what my
colleague, Professor
Kellgore, means to say
975
01:04:01,337 --> 01:04:04,340
is something which all of
us feel in our hearts,
976
01:04:04,340 --> 01:04:07,844
but find very
difficult to express
977
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:12,849
Simply ave atque vale.
978
01:04:13,349 --> 01:04:15,852
Hail and farewell.
979
01:04:15,852 --> 01:04:17,353
ALL: Hail and farewell.
980
01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:19,355
Hail and farewell.
981
01:04:19,355 --> 01:04:20,857
Hail.
982
01:04:20,857 --> 01:04:25,361
Thank you, Jonathan.
Thank you very much.
983
01:04:25,361 --> 01:04:27,864
It's good to have
you among us again.
984
01:04:29,365 --> 01:04:32,368
And now, for heaven's sake,
let's enjoy ourselves.
985
01:04:32,869 --> 01:04:34,871
(CHATTERING)
986
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:36,873
Professor Jones?
987
01:04:36,873 --> 01:04:38,374
Yes, I'm Jones.
988
01:04:38,374 --> 01:04:40,877
A gentleman to see you, sir,
just inside the main entrance.
989
01:04:40,877 --> 01:04:42,378
To see me?
Yes, sir.
990
01:04:42,378 --> 01:04:44,380
Oh, very well. Excuse me.
991
01:04:46,382 --> 01:04:48,384
Who is kooks now?
992
01:04:49,510 --> 01:04:49,969
Here, sir.
993
01:04:50,469 --> 01:04:51,470
Thank you.
994
01:04:51,470 --> 01:04:53,973
Professor Jones?
Yes.
995
01:04:53,973 --> 01:04:54,974
Jonathan Jones?
996
01:04:54,974 --> 01:04:56,475
That's right
997
01:04:56,475 --> 01:05:00,479
(SIGHS) Well, I'm sure
glad I was able to
find you so quickly.
998
01:05:00,479 --> 01:05:02,982
My name is Bates,
Josh Bates.
999
01:05:02,982 --> 01:05:04,483
What can I do for you,
Mr. Bates?
1000
01:05:04,483 --> 01:05:07,987
Well, it's more a question
of what we can do for you.
1001
01:05:07,987 --> 01:05:09,488
I'm with the government,
Professor.
1002
01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:10,990
Ah...
1003
01:05:10,990 --> 01:05:13,492
And I've been sent to bring
you back to Washington.
1004
01:05:13,492 --> 01:05:16,495
I see. Well, perhaps first
thing tomorrow morning.
1005
01:05:16,495 --> 01:05:18,497
No, sir. Now.
1006
01:05:18,497 --> 01:05:20,499
Now?
1007
01:05:20,499 --> 01:05:24,503
Yes, sir. Nobody knows
better than yourself, sir,
how important this matter is.
1008
01:05:24,503 --> 01:05:26,505
Yes, but I...
And how timely.
1009
01:05:26,505 --> 01:05:28,700
Well, that's true.
1010
01:05:28,700 --> 01:05:30,900
However, my friends
and family in there...
1011
01:05:30,900 --> 01:05:34,130
And how secret, Professor.
1012
01:05:34,130 --> 01:05:37,516
Why, if you were to tell the
that you were flying back
to Washington tonight,
1013
01:05:37,516 --> 01:05:39,180
word might leak out.
1014
01:05:39,518 --> 01:05:41,520
You have a point, Mr. Bates.
1015
01:05:41,520 --> 01:05:45,240
Still, if I could just
have a few seconds
with my niece, I...
1016
01:05:45,240 --> 01:05:47,526
There isn't time, Professor.
1017
01:05:47,526 --> 01:05:50,290
Please, sir.
The plane is waiting.
1018
01:05:50,529 --> 01:05:53,532
Well, you can phone
your niece later.
1019
01:05:53,532 --> 01:05:56,350
All right, Mr. Bates.
Let's go.
1020
01:06:12,510 --> 01:06:13,552
(CAR ENGINE STARTING)
1021
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:23,620
Very powerful plane.
1022
01:06:23,562 --> 01:06:25,564
Only the best
for you, Professor.
1023
01:06:28,670 --> 01:06:29,568
Yes, very interesting.
1024
01:06:29,568 --> 01:06:33,720
I don't know what happened,
but I had a feeling
like I was floating.
1025
01:06:34,573 --> 01:06:36,750
Cynthia, where's your uncle?
1026
01:06:36,750 --> 01:06:37,576
I don't know.
1027
01:06:39,578 --> 01:06:43,582
I must get a checkup,
you know. I'm sick,
I think. Really.
1028
01:06:46,585 --> 01:06:48,870
Excuse me.
1029
01:06:48,870 --> 01:06:50,890
Where are you going,
Professor?
1030
01:06:50,890 --> 01:06:51,590
(CHUCKLES)
1031
01:07:33,632 --> 01:07:35,134
Mr. Bates.
Yes?
1032
01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,636
You are, you said,
with the government?
1033
01:07:37,636 --> 01:07:39,138
That's right, Professor.
1034
01:07:39,638 --> 01:07:40,639
What government?
1035
01:07:41,140 --> 01:07:43,642
You will learn the answer
to that question very soon.
1036
01:07:43,642 --> 01:07:45,144
I was afraid of that.
1037
01:07:45,644 --> 01:07:48,647
Oh, you need be afraid
of nothing, Professor.
1038
01:07:48,647 --> 01:07:50,649
You are to be
our honored guest.
1039
01:07:50,649 --> 01:07:52,651
But not in Washington?
1040
01:07:52,651 --> 01:07:54,653
Not, as you say,
in Washington.
1041
01:07:54,653 --> 01:07:58,657
But this is preposterous!
Why are your people
interested in me?
1042
01:07:59,658 --> 01:08:02,161
Something about
an ancient coin.
1043
01:08:02,161 --> 01:08:03,662
What coin?
1044
01:08:03,662 --> 01:08:05,164
The one with the secrets.
1045
01:08:05,164 --> 01:08:07,166
What secrets?
1046
01:08:07,166 --> 01:08:10,169
(LAUGHS) I neither
know nor care.
1047
01:08:10,169 --> 01:08:13,672
Atomic secrets, I suppose,
hidden inside it,
1048
01:08:13,672 --> 01:08:17,176
or something of that nature.
1049
01:08:17,176 --> 01:08:19,178
I will relieve you
of that object.
1050
01:08:19,678 --> 01:08:21,180
(GROANING)
1051
01:08:31,690 --> 01:08:34,193
(GROANING)
1052
01:08:46,205 --> 01:08:47,706
You will not
do that again.
1053
01:08:48,207 --> 01:08:49,708
Oh, no? Why won't I?
1054
01:08:49,708 --> 01:08:52,211
Because we have taken
certain precautions.
1055
01:08:52,211 --> 01:08:53,712
What kind of precautions?
1056
01:08:53,712 --> 01:08:55,214
I will tell you.
1057
01:09:06,725 --> 01:09:08,727
I see.
1058
01:09:08,727 --> 01:09:10,229
That's right, Professor.
1059
01:09:10,229 --> 01:09:12,231
If anything happens to me,
or to this plane,
1060
01:09:12,231 --> 01:09:13,732
my comrade, Igor,
has orders...
1061
01:09:13,732 --> 01:09:15,234
I understand.
1062
01:09:15,234 --> 01:09:16,235
That is good
1063
01:09:17,736 --> 01:09:19,238
When we reach
our destination,
1064
01:09:19,238 --> 01:09:21,740
you will reveal to us
the secrets of this coin
1065
01:09:21,740 --> 01:09:24,743
Until that time,
I will take charge of it
1066
01:09:24,743 --> 01:09:25,744
What?
1067
01:09:25,744 --> 01:09:27,246
The coin!
1068
01:09:27,246 --> 01:09:28,247
Oh. Oh, yes, the coin.
1069
01:09:28,747 --> 01:09:30,249
Give it to me.
1070
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:33,752
You don't think I carry
a thing like that around
with me, do you?
1071
01:09:34,753 --> 01:09:36,255
What?
1072
01:09:36,255 --> 01:09:39,258
It's in a hiding place
back in Saracen Valley.
1073
01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:40,259
Back in...
1074
01:09:40,259 --> 01:09:41,760
You'll have to turn
the plane around.
1075
01:09:41,760 --> 01:09:43,762
Why, I don't know
if we can...
1076
01:09:50,769 --> 01:09:52,271
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1077
01:10:04,783 --> 01:10:07,286
It will be dangerous
for us to return.
1078
01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:09,788
Dangerous for your niece
and Professor Fenster,
1079
01:10:09,788 --> 01:10:12,791
since we are expected
at our destination
at a specified time,
1080
01:10:12,791 --> 01:10:17,796
and if we do not arrive,
certain instructions
will be radioed to Igor.
1081
01:10:17,796 --> 01:10:21,800
Therefore, I assume
that you will allow
me to search you
1082
01:10:21,800 --> 01:10:25,804
in order to make
absolutely sure that
a return is necessary.
1083
01:10:46,825 --> 01:10:49,828
You're right.
The coin is not on you.
1084
01:10:56,335 --> 01:10:58,337
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1085
01:11:20,859 --> 01:11:23,362
Now, then, where is
this coin? At your home?
1086
01:11:23,362 --> 01:11:25,364
No.
1087
01:11:25,364 --> 01:11:27,366
Then, where?
1088
01:11:27,366 --> 01:11:29,368
First, you must
take me to the place
1089
01:11:29,368 --> 01:11:31,870
where my niece
and Virginia Fenster
are being held prisoner.
1090
01:11:31,870 --> 01:11:34,373
Before I give you anything,
I must make sure
they're unharmed.
1091
01:11:34,873 --> 01:11:38,877
Capitalist pig!
It is I who make
the bargains here, not you.
1092
01:11:38,877 --> 01:11:41,880
Now, remember this, Bates,
or whatever your name is.
1093
01:11:41,880 --> 01:11:46,885
If those two ladies are hurt
you'll have no threat
to hold over my head.
1094
01:11:46,885 --> 01:11:49,888
And you will no longer
be able to force me
to co-operate with you.
1095
01:11:49,888 --> 01:11:52,891
Now, where are they?
1096
01:11:52,891 --> 01:11:54,893
The cellar of an office
building in your city.
1097
01:11:55,394 --> 01:11:57,396
What building?
1098
01:11:57,396 --> 01:11:59,398
The Consolidated Building.
1099
01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:02,901
Then I suggest
you instruct your friend
to step on the gas.
1100
01:12:03,902 --> 01:12:05,404
(BOTH SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1101
01:12:38,937 --> 01:12:41,940
Oh, and one more
thing, Mr. Bates
1102
01:12:41,940 --> 01:12:43,442
Yes?
1103
01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:45,944
I hope you realize
that if we don't
get there in time,
1104
01:12:45,944 --> 01:12:50,949
and your friend receives
his radio orders to harm
those two ladies,
1105
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:55,454
there will be absolutely
nothing to prevent my
using that secret weapon
1106
01:12:55,454 --> 01:12:57,456
on you again,
do you understand?
1107
01:12:57,956 --> 01:12:58,957
I understand.
1108
01:13:00,459 --> 01:13:03,462
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1109
01:13:04,963 --> 01:13:06,465
(BUZZING)
1110
01:13:12,471 --> 01:13:16,975
(MAN SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1111
01:13:36,495 --> 01:13:37,996
No! No!
1112
01:13:37,996 --> 01:13:39,998
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1113
01:13:40,499 --> 01:13:44,503
Cynthia. Virginia.
Are you all right?
Thank God.
1114
01:14:01,190 --> 01:14:05,230
Well, Professor,
are you satisfied that
the ladies are unharmed?
1115
01:14:08,260 --> 01:14:10,280
We will go now
and get that coin.
1116
01:14:13,532 --> 01:14:16,535
Yes, I am satisfied
the ladies are unharmed.
1117
01:14:16,535 --> 01:14:21,390
And it is now my pleasure
to inform you that you are
completely within my power.
1118
01:14:21,390 --> 01:14:22,541
What?
1119
01:14:22,541 --> 01:14:24,420
I withheld that power
only to save them.
The hands.
1120
01:14:24,420 --> 01:14:26,440
But now...
Something about the hands.
1121
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:28,460
Igor!
1122
01:14:30,480 --> 01:14:31,490
Let me...
1123
01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:32,551
Ow!
1124
01:14:39,558 --> 01:14:43,562
I don't know what this
secret weapon of yours is,
or how you operate it.
1125
01:14:46,640 --> 01:14:49,670
I suppose it's some mechanism
concealed in your clothes,
1126
01:14:52,700 --> 01:14:56,740
but I did observe that
in order to activate it,
you had to raise your arms.
1127
01:14:56,740 --> 01:14:59,578
And unless I'm gravely
mistaken, I have now
rendered you powerless.
1128
01:15:04,583 --> 01:15:08,860
It's no use, Professor,
that tape is very strong.
1129
01:15:08,860 --> 01:15:10,589
Now, shall we go
and get that coin?
1130
01:15:11,590 --> 01:15:13,910
All right. You win.
1131
01:15:13,592 --> 01:15:16,595
Very sensible.
After you, sir.
1132
01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:19,598
May I say goodbye
to my niece?
1133
01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:22,601
(LAUGHS)
1134
01:15:23,101 --> 01:15:25,604
I'm a civilized man.
Of course you may.
1135
01:15:26,104 --> 01:15:27,105
Thank you.
1136
01:15:29,608 --> 01:15:32,110
Uncle Jonathan.
1137
01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:35,113
(SOFTLY) Listen, if you
and Virginia make a run
for it, they won't follow.
1138
01:15:35,113 --> 01:15:38,617
They're more interested in
me. Get to the police
and bring them back here.
1139
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:40,118
But...
Do as I say.
1140
01:15:42,621 --> 01:15:45,624
All right, Jones.
That's enough.
1141
01:15:46,124 --> 01:15:47,626
You and I will go
for the coin.
1142
01:15:47,626 --> 01:15:50,128
Igor will remain here
with the ladies
in the event that...
1143
01:15:50,128 --> 01:15:52,130
Run! Hurry! Run!
1144
01:16:11,149 --> 01:16:13,652
Don't you want that coin?
1145
01:16:13,652 --> 01:16:16,655
I've got it!
It's in my pocket.
I've had it all the time.
1146
01:16:16,655 --> 01:16:17,656
You're lying.
1147
01:16:17,656 --> 01:16:18,657
Am I?
1148
01:16:18,657 --> 01:16:20,158
I've searched you.
1149
01:16:20,158 --> 01:16:21,660
Not well enough.
1150
01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:23,662
Well, if you really have i
throw it to me.
1151
01:16:23,662 --> 01:16:27,666
With my hands like this?
Uh-uh. If you want it,
come and get it.
1152
01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,168
Zotz!
1153
01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:09,958
Jones, I warn you.
I want that coin!
1154
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:11,960
You'll have to take it!
1155
01:17:19,468 --> 01:17:21,470
May I remind you that
you are now powerless?
1156
01:17:27,976 --> 01:17:30,979
Jones, I want that coin.
1157
01:17:32,481 --> 01:17:34,983
I'll give you till
the count of three.
1158
01:17:37,486 --> 01:17:39,488
One...
1159
01:17:39,488 --> 01:17:40,989
Bates, listen.
1160
01:17:41,490 --> 01:17:43,992
No discussions, please.
Just the coin. Two...
1161
01:17:43,992 --> 01:17:45,494
I... I...
1162
01:17:45,994 --> 01:17:47,996
Three!
Zotz!
1163
01:17:50,999 --> 01:17:53,502
Amazing phenomenon,
Bates, isn't it?
1164
01:18:06,515 --> 01:18:07,516
(SPEAKING RUSSIAN)
1165
01:18:16,525 --> 01:18:18,527
Zotz!
1166
01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:22,531
Take your time, Igor.
Just take your time.
1167
01:18:27,536 --> 01:18:29,538
Wouldn't you know it?
Not a cop in sight.
1168
01:18:45,554 --> 01:18:48,560
Stop this silly game,
Professor.
1169
01:18:48,560 --> 01:18:49,558
Give me the coin
and no harm will come...
1170
01:18:49,558 --> 01:18:50,559
No!
1171
01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:58,660
Professor,
don't be ridiculous!
1172
01:18:58,660 --> 01:18:59,670
You'll fall.
1173
01:18:59,670 --> 01:19:00,569
Don't worry about me.
1174
01:19:01,690 --> 01:19:02,571
(SCREAMING)
1175
01:19:05,574 --> 01:19:08,760
Zotz!
1176
01:20:52,180 --> 01:20:53,181
Stop! Stop, I say!
1177
01:20:53,682 --> 01:20:54,683
Zotz!
1178
01:21:26,214 --> 01:21:27,215
That's it.
1179
01:21:27,215 --> 01:21:28,717
Zotz!
1180
01:21:28,717 --> 01:21:32,220
It's no use.
You are powerless
without that coin!
1181
01:21:53,241 --> 01:21:54,743
Bates, I warn you.
1182
01:21:56,745 --> 01:21:58,246
(SHUSHING)
1183
01:21:58,246 --> 01:22:00,749
(WHISPERING) The slightest
noise or vibration...
1184
01:22:24,773 --> 01:22:26,274
(SNEEZES)
1185
01:22:28,777 --> 01:22:30,278
(COIN TINKLING)
1186
01:22:30,278 --> 01:22:31,279
(WATER SPLASHES)
1187
01:22:38,286 --> 01:22:39,287
(GULPS)
1188
01:23:22,330 --> 01:23:24,332
What are your plans no
w, Professor Zotz?
1189
01:23:24,332 --> 01:23:27,335
The name is Jones,
young man.
Jonathan Jones.
1190
01:23:27,335 --> 01:23:31,840
And my plans are to return
to Saracen Valley College
on the next plane
1191
01:23:32,340 --> 01:23:36,845
and begin my
duties as the new
dean of languages.
1192
01:23:36,845 --> 01:23:39,848
General Bullivar,
do you think the coin
will be recovered?
1193
01:23:39,848 --> 01:23:41,349
Well, it's hard to say.
1194
01:23:41,850 --> 01:23:44,853
It might have floated all
the way out into the Pacific.
Needle in a haystack.
1195
01:23:44,853 --> 01:23:50,859
However, we're using
maximum effort, radar,
sonar, loren, submarines...
1196
01:23:51,359 --> 01:23:52,861
The newest type
of magnetic devices.
1197
01:23:52,861 --> 01:23:55,363
Oh, modern science
is a wonderful thing.
1198
01:23:55,363 --> 01:23:58,366
My personal opinion is that
we stand an even chance
1199
01:23:58,366 --> 01:24:00,869
of regaining the coin
for the good of humanity.
1200
01:24:00,869 --> 01:24:02,370
What do you think, Professor?
1201
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:03,872
Well, I agree
with the general
1202
01:24:04,372 --> 01:24:07,375
I think the chances
are excellent that
the coin will be found.
1203
01:24:07,375 --> 01:24:09,377
Bye, General.
Thanks again
for your hospitality
1204
01:24:09,377 --> 01:24:14,883
Thank you for overlooking
the unfortunate circumstances
of our first meeting.
1205
01:24:16,384 --> 01:24:19,888
That's a private
joke, gentlemen.
1206
01:24:19,888 --> 01:24:23,892
Our congratulations again.
I know that you two are
going to be very happy.
1207
01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:25,393
Goodbye, sir.
Come, Mrs. Jones
1208
01:24:25,393 --> 01:24:28,396
We have time for just
one short visit before
we catch the plane.
1209
01:24:28,897 --> 01:24:30,398
Visit? With whom?
1210
01:24:30,398 --> 01:24:33,401
Someone that we both
should meet, I think
1211
01:24:33,401 --> 01:24:34,402
Goodbye, sir.
Goodbye.
1212
01:24:34,402 --> 01:24:36,905
Gentlemen.
Goodbye, General
1213
01:24:36,905 --> 01:24:37,906
Bye-bye.
JONATHAN: Bye.
1214
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:06,935
For once, Horatio Kellgore
and I see eye to eye.
1215
01:25:24,619 --> 01:25:26,121
Zotz all!
85163
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.