All language subtitles for Young Sheldon s04e10 Cowboy Aerobics.eng

ADULT SHELDON:
Behind every great scientist,

there were often unsung helpers toiling away in the background.

Presenting...

When Alexander Graham Bell
needed an assistant,

it was Thomas Augustus Watson

who answered the call.
[laughs]: Get it?

"The call."

[snickering]

Madame Curie's daughter Irène

was also her lab assistant.

Irène was so dedicated, she died of radiation poisoning.

Unlike her sister EÈve,

who selfishly lived to 102.

Lastly, EÉmile Roux was
assistant to Louis Pasteur.

When they worked on
the rabies vaccine,

Roux kept a loaded gun
in the lab

to shoot Pasteur in the head
if he got infected.

He never had to, but it's fun
to know he would have.

LINKLETTER:
No, Sheldon.

You can't be my lab assistant.

Maybe you weren't
paying attention.

I'll start over.

Behind every great scientist,

there was
a dedicated as...

♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain

♪ I bet I could be your hero

♪ I am a mighty little man

♪ I am a mighty little man.♪

LINKLETTER:
Son,

lab assistants are
usually upperclassmen.

I believe I've been
at this university

long enough to be considered.

You've been here two weeks.

Hey, 16 days
if you count orientation.

Sheldon, there's a waitlist
of students

who've applied
for that position.

I just can't give you
special treatment.

Not with that attitude.

Tell you what,
I'll think about it.

Should I come back
or should I wait?

Come back.I'll wait.

I thought about it. No.

[The People's Court
theme music plays]

Judgment for plaintiff
for $169.50.

You think Judge Wapner
and Rusty the bailiff

are friends
in real life?

Yeah.

You can't fake
that kind of chemistry.

I'm flying!

There you are!
Where have you been?

We've been waiting for you.What is this?

That's the exercise guy
Meemaw likes.

Sweatin' to the Oldies 2...

I can't believe anyone pays
money to watch old people sweat.

MISSY:
40 bucks?

GEORGE JR.: They sold
over a million of those?

At 40 bucks a pop?

Do you know how much money
that must be?

I'm not a calculator.

40 times... one million.

That's 40 million!

Whoa.

And then he said he wouldn't
give me special treatment.

I think what he said is

everybody should
be treated equally.

I'm sorry, is this Russia?

Should we get in line for bread?

It's his lab, Sheldon.
He can do what he wants.

[country music playing
over radio]

I've got it.

Dr. Linkletter likes you.

You go on a date with him
and when he tries to kiss you,

say you'll do it,
but only if he gives me the job.

I'm gonna ask you to think hard
about what you just said.

What? I want something,
he wants something--

seems like a win-win.

Not for me.

You get a free dinner.

Make him take you
someplace nice.

Ooh, maybe Sizzler.Sheldon.

[TV playing indistinctly]

What are you doing?

Gonna make an exercise video.

Why?

If Richard Simmons could
make 40 million bucks,

think how much I could make
with my face.

What's your face
got to do with it?

What do you mean?
I'm gorgeous, ask anybody.

[door opens][sighs]

ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw was being stingy with her love,

I had to find another way

to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.[typing rapidly]

I decided to treat this

like a science experiment--

test various methods
of persuasion

to determine which
was the most effective.

Dr. Linkletter, I was talking to
the other physics professors

and they think you having
an 11-year-old lab assistant

would be neat.No.

Don't you want your peers
to think you're cool?

No.I would.

No.

[knocks]Dr. Linkletter?

What?

If you look in your drawer,

you'll find
a little something.

I hope you like
peanut butter cookies.

This isn't going to
change my mind.

You sure?Yes.

Then give them back,
they're my favorite.

Say yes.

No.
Yes.

No.Yes.

No. HIja.

What?

That's "yes" in Klingon.

How do you say "no" in Klingon?

Qo'.

Qo'!

Aw.

I overheard some
of your other candidates

talking about marijuana.

[snack drops]I don't care.

Well, you should.

I think they plan on smoking it.

[Linkletter groans softly]

You know what?What?

I was just admiring
your posture.

You're not all hunched over
like most people your age.

So, most people think
you need expensive machines

to work out,

but I just use free weights.

To be clear, they ain't free.
You got to buy them.

Are you watching
yourself work out?

I made an exercise video.

Why?

To sell.

That's very important.

Next, we're gonna do curls.

'Cause, like I always say,

curls get the girls.

Oh, Lord.What?

[sputters]You want to remember:
squeeze it at the top.

People like it
when things rhyme.

[grunts on video]

[phone rings]

Hello?

Can I be your lab assistant?

What time is it?

That's not a no.

If I say yes, will you please
stop hounding me?

Absolutely.LINKLETTER: Fine.

You win. Good night.

Just out of
scientific curiosity,

were you persuaded
by the disorienting nature

of this late-night phone call

or by the cumulative weight
of my relentlessness?

That one.

ADULT SHELDON:
I learned an important lesson that night.

When you want something,

relentlessly annoying
is your road to victory.

How may I assist you today?Follow me.

Should I look
over your notes?

Would you like me to
double-check your math?

See these bolts?

Scrub the grease off.

But there's hundreds of them.Yes.

That's where you come in.

Surely there's a better use
of my intellect.Son,

we're building
a solar neutrino detector.

If you don't want the job,
there's the door.

No, I want it.

Good man.

[sighs] Although that door
does look tempting.

So, I could really use your help

making it look
more professional.

That's burn right there.
[grunts]

Like, adding a little,
you know...

I think the word
you're looking for is "pizazz."

Exactly. So, you'll do it?

Well, I'm flattered
that you would ask,

but exercise videos...

That's not really what I do.

But I've seen you on TV.

I'm soft and firm

in all the right places.

You've been in plays.

It's all right, Molly.

Annie's here.

Don't forget my modeling work.

♪

But I have a reputation.

When people hear
the name Gene Lundy,

they expect quality.

They expect showmanship.

[chuckles]
They expect me to get paid.

Oh, I'm gonna pay you.

Let's make an exercise video!
[chuckles]

ADULT SHELDON:
While not the lab work I hoped to be doing,

it did feel good to be part
of an actual experiment.

A tedious, menial part

that could be performed
by a monkey.

Or worse, an engineer.

Here you go.

473 grease-free bolts.

[chuckles]
Excellent.Now what?

How about I help you design

an even better
solar neutrino detector?

Actually,
what I need you to do is...

take this grease
and put it on these bolts.

But I just took the grease
off the bolts.

That was the wrong grease.

This is the right grease.
Have at it.

If this is some kind of test
to get me to quit,

it's not going to work.

I don't know what
you were expecting,

but this is a menial job.

After this, I need you
to sort a crate of resistors,

strip a case of wire
and then sweep up.

Oh.

Then I quit.[grease can thuds]

Now, I like the idea

of an exercise video.

I'm just not sure that
weight lifting is the way to go.

Why not?

It's low-energy. You know?

We don't want
a one-man show.

We want Starlight Express.

I don't know what that is.

You'd love it.
Andrew Lloyd Webber,

people on roller skates.

That's a thought. Skater-cise.

Do you... do you skate?

No.

Too bad.

You sure
I can't just lift weights?

Aerobics is the way to go.

It's got music. It's got energy.[snapping fingers]

It's got what?

Pizazz?Bingo!

Now, hear me out.

We surround you
with a bunch of dancing girls.

No, even better.

The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.

If that's what "pizazz" means,
I like it.[chuckles]

Of course, to do this right,

we are gonna need
some financing.

What does your father do
for a living?

He's a coach here at the school.

Oof.

I know somebody who's got money.

[doorbell rings]

What do you two want?

What we want is
to make you rich.

Oh, God.

What do you
mean you quit?It was beneath me.

You need to learn
there's nothing wrong with a little hard work.

Hard work is calculating
neutrino properties

to one percent accuracy.

Anyone can wash bolts.

You begged him for that job.

I assumed he'd realize
the value of my intellect

and put it to good use.

Hang on.

You made a commitment.

When you say you're gonna
do something, you do it.

Well, he could find
someone else.

Doesn't matter.

This is about you being
a man of your word.

ADULT SHELDON:
I wanted to point out that I couldn't be a man of my word,

since I hadn't hit puberty,
but he seemed pretty grouchy.

GEORGE JR.:
You know how you love

those Richard
Simmons tapes?

Yeah.
Well, what if I told you

we have the next big thing

in home fitness videos.

Mm. And what kind of thing
would that be?

"Cowboy aerobics."

[quietly]:
Yee-haw.

It's like, um,

Sweatin' to the Oldies

with a little bit
of Southern swagger.

[imitates gunshots quietly]

Cool, huh?

So, are y'all just

trying to sell me
an aerobics tape?

No.

No, not at all.

We want you to give us money
to make them.

"Invest."
He... he means invest.

And who would be, uh,
starring in this video?

Me.

[laughs] That's ridiculous.

[chuckling]

And Richard Simmons

ain't ridiculous?

Well, now,
the young man does have a point.

Yeah, maybe on his head.

Look, you're not getting
my money.

Well, you are passing a-a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

And how much lifetime
do you have left?

That's not helping.

No.

All right, fair enough.

Thank you for hearing us out.

If you have a change of heart,
you let us know.

Screw that.

My whole life

I've seen you bet

on football games,

throw away all kinds of money
at the track.

If you want to gamble
on something,

why can't it be
on your own grandson?

How much money you need?

Well, now, um...

how much money did you bet
on football last year?

[chuckles]: Well,
you're not getting that much.

[phone rings]Hello?

SHELDON:
Dr. Linkletter?

[sighs] Sheldon Cooper.

I'm calling to apologize.
I shouldn't have quit.

I made a commitment,
and I need to see it through.

I appreciate that,
but there's no need.

There is. It's important to me,
as well as my father.

Fine.Excellent.

Don't worry,
I won't overstep my bounds.

I give you my word as a Texan.

Great.And a man.

Very good.Well, a future man.

At present, my hormones
and body hair aren't exactly

what you'd call...Good night.

[dial tone]Hmm.

ADULT SHELDON:
The next day I returned

to my role as lab assistant
with renewed vigor.

Bolts were greased,

wires were stripped,

floors were swept,
all with a smile.

It was a forced smile

but you'd never know.

I must say, Sheldon,
I'm impressed.

I gave you my word
and I'm standing by it.Well,

I know it's not glamorous, but
all scientists pay their dues.

And I'm happy to do it.

Good man.
I understand my role here.

In fact, I noticed a flaw
in your reaction rates,

but I kept it to myself
because I know my place.

You really think
there's a flaw? Oh, yes.

What is it?

I appreciate you testing me,

but I'm not going to crack.

I'm not testing you.

Nice try.

So, when are we gonna
shoot this thing?

Slow down, now.

We've got to plan out.

You know, costumes,
choreography, music.

Let's start with the set.

Now, I was thinking...

an Oklahomatheme.

Hay bales, saloon door,

maybe a surrey
with a fringe on top.

A what with a what?

Oh, you know.

♪ Chicks and ducks
and geese better scurry ♪

♪ When I take you out
in my surrey ♪

♪ When I take you out

♪ In my surrey
with the fringe... ♪

Okay, forget Oklahoma.

Done.

ADULT SHELDON: In an effort
to find out the mistake

in his experimental design,

Dr. Linkletter performed
his own experiment on me.

You know, Sheldon, I don't even
care if you tell me the error.

In fact, I'd rather
you keep it to yourself.

All right.

[quietly]:
Yeah.

I got you a little something
for all your hard work.

It's about a little boy
who doesn't let being dead

stop him from having fun.

Thanks.

[chuckles] Now that
I've given you something,

perhaps you want
to reciprocate.

Sure. You can have this.
I don't want it.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

LINKLETTER:
Uh, may I speak with Sheldon?

It's the middle of the night.
Who the hell is this?

Uh, wrong number.

[dial tone]

LUNDY:
All right.

[lively country music playing]Let's try it again.

♪

♪ Last night... [turns off music]

I'm sorry, are-are we galloping,
or are we doing double Dutch?

You got to get
your hips into it,

All right?

Yeah, you get your rope,
you get your hip.

We can gallop up,
we can gallop back.

We're lassoing
and galloping

around the corral.[knocking]

Excuse me.

We need to talk.

Can it wait?

I'm trying to turn
your grandson here

into the Richard Simmons
of the Wild West.

No, it can't. I took a look
at this contract you sent over.

Oh, well, that's just
boilerplate legalese.

I wouldn't even
read that.

Too late.
I couldn't help but notice

you're taking 80%
of the profits.

Eighty percent?

Well, in case

no one has noticed,
I'm doing most of the work here.

But it was all my idea.

Your idea was lifting weights
in some dingy garage.

Cowboy aerobics was hatched
in this egg right here.

But it's my face.

Any my money.

And my apologies,

but 20% is all you're getting.

Unbelievable.

Excuse me.

I've done all the choreography.

I designed the sets.

I-I made the costumes by hand.

You think
you can find

sequined chaps in a mall?

No, you cannot.

And they give you quite the look
when you ask.

Come on,
let's get out of here.

Oh, fine, go ahead.

And we're gonna make our own
exercise video without you.

No, we're not.

No, we're not!

And they call medramatic.

ADULT SHELDON:
The next day, Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment.

I'm proud to say
I never broke my word,

and he eventually
figured out the problem.

[flames whooshing]LINKLETTER: Fire!

Fire!

Fire!

Was it too much oxygen
in the reagents?

See? You didn't need my help
after all.

ADULT SHELDON:
Mr. Lundy was undeterred. He sought out new investors

and new talent to bring
cowboy aerobics to life.

LUNDY:
You've got the look.

[chuckles]:
You've got the physique.

If-if we could secure a star
of your caliber,

it would really put us
on the map.

I do look good in a cowboy hat.

You look good in everything.
[chuckles]

Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff.

Call me The Hoff.

[chuckles]:
Okay, The Hoff.

So, what do you say?

Well, I've conquered
television, music.

I don't see why I couldn't add
exercise videos

to my empire.

So you'll do it?

You got The Hoff!

Hot damn! I got The Hoff!

[both laugh]

By-by any chance,

do you know
what size chaps you wear?

Oh. I got my own.

Of course you do.
[chuckles]

[whip cracks][lively country music playing]

All right, buckaroos, it's time
for cowboy aerobics with...

David Hasselhoff!David Hasselhoff!

Who's ready to rustle up
some muscles?

[whooping]Let's saddle up and ride.

ADULT SHELDON:
Thanks to The Hoff,

the video was
a smashing success.

Who wants a beach body
like the ones on Baywatch?

Which I'm also in.
Check your local listings.

[ricochet sound effect]

ADULT SHELDON:
Unfortunately,

Mr. Lundy put all his profits

into a musical about his life,
entitled:

Live, Laugh, Lundy.

He is poor to this day.

Captioning sponsored by
CBS

WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

and TOYOTA.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0