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ADULT SHELDON: Behind
every great scientist,
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00:00:02,255 --> 00:00:05,887
there were often unsung helpers
toiling away in the background.
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00:00:05,892 --> 00:00:07,297
Presenting...
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00:00:07,302 --> 00:00:10,702
_
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00:00:10,707 --> 00:00:13,603
When Alexander Graham
Bell needed an assistant,
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00:00:13,607 --> 00:00:15,602
it was Thomas Augustus Watson
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00:00:15,607 --> 00:00:17,371
who answered the call.
(LAUGHS): Get it?
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"The call".
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(SNICKERING)
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Madame Curie's daughter Irène
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00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,615
was also her lab assistant.
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00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,918
Irène was so dedicated, she
died of radiation poisoning.
13
00:00:27,923 --> 00:00:29,587
Unlike her sister Ève,
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00:00:29,592 --> 00:00:31,956
who selfishly lived to 102.
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00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:35,385
Lastly, Émile Roux was
assistant to Louis Pasteur.
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00:00:35,390 --> 00:00:37,420
When they worked on the rabies vaccine,
17
00:00:37,425 --> 00:00:39,589
Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab
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00:00:39,594 --> 00:00:42,173
to shoot Pasteur in the
head if he got infected.
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00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:45,178
He never had to, but it's
fun to know he would have.
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LINKLETTER: No, Sheldon.
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00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:48,212
You can't be my lab assistant.
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00:00:48,217 --> 00:00:50,117
Maybe you weren't paying attention.
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00:00:50,122 --> 00:00:51,251
I'll start over.
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00:00:51,256 --> 00:00:52,901
Behind every great scientist,
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00:00:52,906 --> 00:00:54,204
there was a dedicated as...
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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00:01:02,651 --> 00:01:05,415
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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LINKLETTER: Son,
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lab assistants are
usually upperclassmen.
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I believe I've been at this university
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00:01:17,332 --> 00:01:18,728
long enough to be considered.
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You've been here two weeks.
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00:01:19,868 --> 00:01:22,308
Hey, 16 days if you count orientation.
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00:01:22,313 --> 00:01:25,078
Sheldon, there's a waitlist of students
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who've applied for that position.
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00:01:26,418 --> 00:01:28,468
I just can't give you special treatment.
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Not with that attitude.
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Tell you what, I'll think about it.
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Should I come back or should I wait?
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- Come back.
- I'll wait.
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I thought about it. No.
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(THE PEOPLE'S COURT THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
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Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50.
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You think Judge Wapner
and Rusty the bailiff
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are friends in real life?
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Yeah.
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You can't fake that kind of chemistry.
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I'm flying!
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There you are! Where have you been?
54
00:01:53,764 --> 00:01:55,995
- We've been waiting for you.
- What is this?
55
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That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.
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00:01:58,236 --> 00:01:59,966
Sweatin' to the Oldies 2...
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I can't believe anyone pays money
to watch old people sweat.
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00:02:03,207 --> 00:02:04,971
MISSY: 40 bucks?
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00:02:04,976 --> 00:02:06,906
GEORGE JR.: They sold
over a million of those?
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00:02:06,911 --> 00:02:08,741
At 40 bucks a pop?
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00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:10,676
Do you know how much money that must be?
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I'm not a calculator.
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40 times... one million.
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00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:21,220
That's 40 million!
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00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:23,189
Whoa.
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00:02:23,194 --> 00:02:25,625
And then he said he wouldn't
give me special treatment.
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I think what he said is
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everybody should be treated equally.
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I'm sorry, is this Russia?
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Should we get in line for bread?
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It's his lab, Sheldon.
He can do what he wants.
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(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
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I've got it.
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Dr. Linkletter likes you.
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You go on a date with him
and when he tries to kiss you,
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say you'll do it, but only
if he gives me the job.
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I'm gonna ask you to think hard
about what you just said.
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What? I want something,
he wants something...
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seems like a win-win.
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Not for me.
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You get a free dinner.
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Make him take you someplace nice.
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- Ooh, maybe Sizzler.
- Sheldon.
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(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
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What are you doing?
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Gonna make an exercise video.
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00:03:05,536 --> 00:03:06,536
Why?
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00:03:06,541 --> 00:03:08,935
If Richard Simmons could
make 40 million bucks,
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00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,803
think how much I could
make with my face.
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00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,972
What's your face got to do with it?
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00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:15,212
What do you mean? I'm
gorgeous, ask anybody.
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- (DOOR OPENS)
- (SIGHS)
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ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw
was being stingy with her love,
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00:03:21,197 --> 00:03:22,327
I had to find another way
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- to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.
- (TYPING RAPIDLY)
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I decided to treat this
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like a science experiment...
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00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:29,388
test various methods of persuasion
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00:03:29,393 --> 00:03:31,557
to determine which was
the most effective.
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00:03:31,562 --> 00:03:34,693
Dr. Linkletter, I was talking
to the other physics professors
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and they think you having
an 11-year-old lab assistant
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00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,868
- would be neat.
- No.
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00:03:40,777 --> 00:03:42,543
Don't you want your peers
to think you're cool?
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00:03:42,547 --> 00:03:43,927
- No.
- I would.
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00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:44,932
No.
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- (KNOCKS)
- Dr. Linkletter?
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What?
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00:03:48,211 --> 00:03:49,311
If you look in your drawer,
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you'll find a little something.
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00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:55,114
I hope you like peanut butter cookies.
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00:03:55,119 --> 00:03:56,749
This isn't going to change my mind.
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00:03:56,754 --> 00:03:58,517
- You sure?
- Yes.
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Then give them back,
they're my favorite.
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- Say yes.
- _
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00:04:03,292 --> 00:04:04,455
- No.
- Yes.
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00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,125
- No.
- Yes.
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- No.
- HIja.
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What?
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00:04:09,667 --> 00:04:11,130
That's "yes" in Klingon.
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How do you say "no" in Klingon?
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Qo'.
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Qo'!
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Aw.
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_
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00:04:18,195 --> 00:04:20,125
I overheard some of
your other candidates
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talking about marijuana.
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00:04:21,717 --> 00:04:23,581
- (SNACK DROPS)
- I don't care.
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00:04:23,586 --> 00:04:24,749
Well, you should.
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00:04:24,754 --> 00:04:26,754
I think they plan on smoking it.
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00:04:26,759 --> 00:04:28,526
(LINKLETTER GROANS SOFTLY)
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_
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- You know what?
- What?
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00:04:31,422 --> 00:04:33,452
I was just admiring your posture.
134
00:04:33,457 --> 00:04:36,417
You're not all hunched over
like most people your age.
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00:04:39,426 --> 00:04:42,491
So, most people think you
need expensive machines
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00:04:42,496 --> 00:04:43,696
to work out,
137
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:45,564
but I just use free weights.
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00:04:45,569 --> 00:04:47,831
To be clear, they ain't free.
You got to buy them.
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00:04:47,836 --> 00:04:50,036
Are you watching yourself work out?
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00:04:50,041 --> 00:04:52,138
I made an exercise video.
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00:04:52,143 --> 00:04:53,673
Why?
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To sell.
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That's very important.
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00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,544
Next, we're gonna do curls.
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'Cause, like I always say,
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curls get the girls.
147
00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,185
- Oh, Lord.
- What?
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00:05:04,190 --> 00:05:06,291
- (SPUTTERS)
- You want to remember: squeeze it at the top.
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00:05:06,295 --> 00:05:07,891
People like it when things rhyme.
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00:05:07,896 --> 00:05:09,226
(GRUNTS ON VIDEO)
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(PHONE RINGS)
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_
153
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Hello?
154
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Can I be your lab assistant?
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What time is it?
156
00:05:19,437 --> 00:05:20,637
That's not a no.
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If I say yes, will you
please stop hounding me?
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- Absolutely.
- LINKLETTER: Fine.
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You win. Good night.
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Just out of scientific curiosity,
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were you persuaded by
the disorienting nature
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of this late-night phone call
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or by the cumulative weight
of my relentlessness?
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That one.
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ADULT SHELDON: I learned an
important lesson that night.
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When you want something,
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00:05:41,459 --> 00:05:44,828
relentlessly annoying
is your road to victory.
168
00:05:47,587 --> 00:05:50,487
- How may I assist you today?
- Follow me.
169
00:05:50,492 --> 00:05:52,022
Should I look over your notes?
170
00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:53,857
Would you like me to
double-check your math?
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00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,392
See these bolts?
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00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:56,794
Scrub the grease off.
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00:05:56,799 --> 00:05:58,762
- But there's hundreds of them.
- Yes.
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00:05:58,767 --> 00:06:00,167
That's where you come in.
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00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:02,272
Surely there's a better
use of my intellect.
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00:06:02,277 --> 00:06:04,635
Son, we're building a
solar neutrino detector.
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00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:06,904
If you don't want the
job, there's the door.
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00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:08,209
No, I want it.
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00:06:08,214 --> 00:06:09,614
Good man.
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00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:15,470
(SIGHS) Although that
door does look tempting.
181
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:16,838
So, I could really use your help
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00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,706
making it look more professional.
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00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,141
That's burn right there. (GRUNTS)
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00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,486
Like, adding a little, you know...
185
00:06:22,491 --> 00:06:26,391
I think the word you're
looking for is "pizazz".
186
00:06:26,396 --> 00:06:28,496
Exactly. So, you'll do it?
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00:06:28,501 --> 00:06:31,331
Well, I'm flattered that you would ask,
188
00:06:31,336 --> 00:06:34,164
but exercise videos...
189
00:06:34,169 --> 00:06:36,800
That's not really what I do.
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00:06:36,805 --> 00:06:38,535
But I've seen you on TV.
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00:06:38,540 --> 00:06:41,271
I'm soft and firm
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00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,674
- in all the right places.
- _
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00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:44,975
You've been in plays.
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00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,477
It's all right, Molly.
195
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:48,679
Annie's here.
196
00:06:48,684 --> 00:06:50,447
Don't forget my modeling work.
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00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:52,483
- ♪♪
- _
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00:06:52,488 --> 00:06:55,557
But I have a reputation.
199
00:06:55,562 --> 00:06:57,962
When people hear the name Gene Lundy,
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00:06:57,967 --> 00:06:59,456
they expect quality.
201
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:01,292
They expect showmanship.
202
00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,460
(CHUCKLES) They expect me to get paid.
203
00:07:03,465 --> 00:07:04,999
Oh, I'm gonna pay you.
204
00:07:06,165 --> 00:07:08,365
Let's make an exercise video! (CHUCKLES)
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00:07:08,370 --> 00:07:11,334
ADULT SHELDON: While not
the lab work I hoped to be doing,
206
00:07:11,338 --> 00:07:14,881
it did feel good to be part
of an actual experiment.
207
00:07:14,886 --> 00:07:16,649
A tedious, menial part
208
00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:18,372
that could be performed by a monkey.
209
00:07:18,377 --> 00:07:20,577
Or worse, an engineer.
210
00:07:20,582 --> 00:07:22,613
Here you go.
211
00:07:22,618 --> 00:07:25,318
473 grease-free bolts.
212
00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:28,118
- (CHUCKLES) Excellent.
- Now what?
213
00:07:28,123 --> 00:07:29,453
How about I help you design
214
00:07:29,458 --> 00:07:31,389
an even better solar neutrino detector?
215
00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,589
Actually, what I need you to do is...
216
00:07:33,594 --> 00:07:36,894
take this grease and
put it on these bolts.
217
00:07:36,899 --> 00:07:40,130
But I just took the
grease off the bolts.
218
00:07:40,135 --> 00:07:41,265
That was the wrong grease.
219
00:07:41,270 --> 00:07:43,171
This is the right grease. Have at it.
220
00:07:44,271 --> 00:07:46,302
If this is some kind of
test to get me to quit,
221
00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:47,570
it's not going to work.
222
00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:48,873
I don't know what you were expecting,
223
00:07:48,877 --> 00:07:50,738
but this is a menial job.
224
00:07:50,743 --> 00:07:53,941
After this, I need you to
sort a crate of resistors,
225
00:07:53,946 --> 00:07:56,346
strip a case of wire and then sweep up.
226
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,414
Oh.
227
00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:59,783
- Then I quit.
- (GREASE CAN THUDS)
228
00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:02,918
Now, I like the idea
of an exercise video.
229
00:08:02,923 --> 00:08:05,923
I'm just not sure that weight
lifting is the way to go.
230
00:08:05,928 --> 00:08:07,157
Why not?
231
00:08:07,162 --> 00:08:09,662
It's low-energy. You know?
232
00:08:09,667 --> 00:08:11,328
We don't want a one-man show.
233
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:13,497
We want Starlight Express.
234
00:08:13,502 --> 00:08:15,165
I don't know what that is.
235
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:17,805
You'd love it. Andrew Lloyd Webber,
236
00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,636
people on roller skates.
237
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:21,938
That's a thought. Skater-cise.
238
00:08:21,943 --> 00:08:23,173
Do you... do you skate?
239
00:08:23,178 --> 00:08:24,241
No.
240
00:08:24,246 --> 00:08:25,309
Too bad.
241
00:08:25,314 --> 00:08:27,511
You sure I can't just lift weights?
242
00:08:27,516 --> 00:08:29,713
Aerobics is the way to go.
243
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,616
It's got music. It's got energy.
(SNAPPING FINGERS)
244
00:08:32,621 --> 00:08:34,518
It's got what?
245
00:08:34,523 --> 00:08:36,553
- Pizazz?
- Bingo!
246
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,384
Now, hear me out.
247
00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:41,788
We surround you with
a bunch of dancing girls.
248
00:08:41,793 --> 00:08:42,993
No, even better.
249
00:08:42,998 --> 00:08:45,195
The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
250
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,460
- If that's what "pizazz" means, I like it.
- (CHUCKLES)
251
00:08:49,266 --> 00:08:51,766
Of course, to do this right,
252
00:08:51,771 --> 00:08:54,202
we are gonna need some financing.
253
00:08:54,207 --> 00:08:56,607
What does your father do for a living?
254
00:08:56,612 --> 00:08:58,038
He's a coach here at the school.
255
00:08:58,043 --> 00:08:59,543
Oof.
256
00:08:59,548 --> 00:09:01,745
I know somebody who's got money.
257
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,451
(DOORBELL RINGS)
258
00:09:04,507 --> 00:09:05,707
What do you two want?
259
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:09,544
What we want is to make you rich.
260
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:12,055
Oh, God.
261
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,625
- What do you mean you quit?
- It was beneath me.
262
00:09:14,630 --> 00:09:17,361
You need to learn there's nothing
wrong with a little hard work.
263
00:09:17,366 --> 00:09:19,561
Hard work is calculating
neutrino properties
264
00:09:19,566 --> 00:09:20,766
to one percent accuracy.
265
00:09:20,771 --> 00:09:22,997
Anyone can wash bolts.
266
00:09:23,002 --> 00:09:24,632
You begged him for that job.
267
00:09:24,637 --> 00:09:26,999
I assumed he'd realize
the value of my intellect
268
00:09:27,004 --> 00:09:28,438
and put it to good use.
269
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:29,573
Hang on.
270
00:09:29,578 --> 00:09:31,108
You made a commitment.
271
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,310
When you say you're gonna
do something, you do it.
272
00:09:33,315 --> 00:09:35,345
Well, he could find someone else.
273
00:09:35,350 --> 00:09:36,650
Doesn't matter.
274
00:09:36,655 --> 00:09:39,156
This is about you being
a man of your word.
275
00:09:40,956 --> 00:09:42,518
ADULT SHELDON: I wanted to point out
276
00:09:42,522 --> 00:09:44,421
that I couldn't be a man of my word,
277
00:09:44,425 --> 00:09:47,925
since I hadn't hit puberty,
but he seemed pretty grouchy.
278
00:09:48,748 --> 00:09:50,178
GEORGE JR.: You know how you love
279
00:09:50,183 --> 00:09:51,783
those Richard Simmons tapes?
280
00:09:51,788 --> 00:09:54,718
- Yeah.
- Well, what if I told you
281
00:09:54,723 --> 00:09:56,857
we have the next big thing
282
00:09:56,862 --> 00:09:58,962
in home fitness videos.
283
00:09:58,967 --> 00:10:02,739
Mm. And what kind of
thing would that be?
284
00:10:02,744 --> 00:10:05,142
"Cowboy aerobics".
285
00:10:05,147 --> 00:10:06,743
(QUIETLY): Yee-haw.
286
00:10:06,748 --> 00:10:07,878
It's like, um,
287
00:10:07,883 --> 00:10:08,913
Sweatin' to the Oldies
288
00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:10,647
with a little bit of Southern swagger.
289
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,882
(IMITATES GUNSHOTS QUIETLY)
290
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:13,050
Cool, huh?
291
00:10:13,055 --> 00:10:15,352
So, are y'all just
292
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,884
trying to sell me an aerobics tape?
293
00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:19,912
No. No, not at all.
294
00:10:19,917 --> 00:10:21,717
We want you to give us
money to make them.
295
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,194
"Invest". He... he means invest.
296
00:10:25,132 --> 00:10:28,532
And who would be, uh,
starring in this video?
297
00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:29,633
Me.
298
00:10:29,638 --> 00:10:31,668
(LAUGHS) That's ridiculous.
299
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,769
(CHUCKLING)
300
00:10:32,774 --> 00:10:35,005
And Richard Simmons ain't ridiculous?
301
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:37,174
Well, now, the young
man does have a point.
302
00:10:37,179 --> 00:10:38,408
Yeah, maybe on his head.
303
00:10:38,413 --> 00:10:40,243
Look, you're not getting my money.
304
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:44,982
Well, you are passing a-a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
305
00:10:44,987 --> 00:10:47,084
And how much lifetime do you have left?
306
00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,956
That's not helping.
307
00:10:50,626 --> 00:10:52,059
No.
308
00:10:54,696 --> 00:10:56,126
All right, fair enough.
309
00:10:56,131 --> 00:10:58,528
Thank you for hearing us out.
310
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:01,865
If you have a change of
heart, you let us know.
311
00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:03,397
Screw that.
312
00:11:03,402 --> 00:11:04,832
My whole life
313
00:11:04,837 --> 00:11:07,337
I've seen you bet on football games,
314
00:11:07,342 --> 00:11:10,044
throw away all kinds
of money at the track.
315
00:11:11,246 --> 00:11:12,763
If you want to gamble on something,
316
00:11:12,768 --> 00:11:14,970
why can't it be on your own grandson?
317
00:11:17,292 --> 00:11:19,092
How much money you need?
318
00:11:20,622 --> 00:11:22,152
Well, now, um...
319
00:11:22,157 --> 00:11:25,489
how much money did you
bet on football last year?
320
00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:27,625
(CHUCKLES): Well, you're
not getting that much.
321
00:11:27,630 --> 00:11:30,623
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Hello?
322
00:11:30,628 --> 00:11:31,924
SHELDON: Dr. Linkletter?
323
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,426
(SIGHS) Sheldon Cooper.
324
00:11:34,210 --> 00:11:37,410
I'm calling to apologize.
I shouldn't have quit.
325
00:11:37,415 --> 00:11:39,415
I made a commitment, and
I need to see it through.
326
00:11:40,413 --> 00:11:43,013
I appreciate that, but there's no need.
327
00:11:43,018 --> 00:11:46,317
There is. It's important
to me, as well as my father.
328
00:11:47,342 --> 00:11:48,842
- Fine.
- Excellent.
329
00:11:48,847 --> 00:11:50,847
Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds.
330
00:11:50,852 --> 00:11:53,383
I give you my word as a Texan.
331
00:11:53,388 --> 00:11:55,385
- Great.
- And a man.
332
00:11:55,390 --> 00:11:57,454
- Very good.
- Well, a future man.
333
00:11:57,459 --> 00:11:59,790
At present, my hormones
and body hair aren't exactly
334
00:11:59,795 --> 00:12:01,192
- what you'd call...
- Good night.
335
00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:03,197
- (DIAL TONE)
- Hmm.
336
00:12:07,895 --> 00:12:09,592
ADULT SHELDON: The next day I returned
337
00:12:09,597 --> 00:12:12,295
to my role as lab assistant
with renewed vigor.
338
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:13,596
Bolts were greased,
339
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:15,231
wires were stripped,
340
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:17,667
floors were swept, all with a smile.
341
00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:19,268
It was a forced smile
342
00:12:19,273 --> 00:12:20,473
but you'd never know.
343
00:12:20,478 --> 00:12:22,478
I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed.
344
00:12:22,483 --> 00:12:24,543
I gave you my word
and I'm standing by it.
345
00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,084
Well, I know it's not glamorous,
346
00:12:26,088 --> 00:12:27,768
but all scientists pay their dues.
347
00:12:27,773 --> 00:12:29,203
And I'm happy to do it.
348
00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:31,180
- Good man.
- I understand my role here.
349
00:12:31,185 --> 00:12:33,500
In fact, I noticed a flaw
in your reaction rates,
350
00:12:33,505 --> 00:12:35,718
but I kept it to myself
because I know my place.
351
00:12:35,723 --> 00:12:38,054
- You really think there's a flaw?
- Oh, yes.
352
00:12:38,059 --> 00:12:39,288
What is it?
353
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:40,833
I appreciate you testing me,
354
00:12:40,838 --> 00:12:42,301
but I'm not going to crack.
355
00:12:42,306 --> 00:12:43,669
I'm not testing you.
356
00:12:43,674 --> 00:12:45,141
Nice try.
357
00:12:48,602 --> 00:12:50,532
So, when are we gonna shoot this thing?
358
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,300
Slow down, now.
359
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,802
We've got to plan out.
360
00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:56,505
You know, costumes, choreography, music.
361
00:12:56,510 --> 00:12:57,840
Let's start with the set.
362
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,275
Now, I was thinking...
363
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,044
an Oklahoma theme.
364
00:13:01,049 --> 00:13:02,569
Hay bales, saloon door,
365
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:04,939
maybe a surrey with a fringe on top.
366
00:13:04,944 --> 00:13:06,173
A what with a what?
367
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:07,641
Oh, you know.
368
00:13:07,646 --> 00:13:10,052
♪ Chicks and ducks and
geese better scurry ♪
369
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,188
♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪
370
00:13:12,193 --> 00:13:13,523
♪ When I take you out ♪
371
00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:14,829
♪ In my surrey with the fringe... ♪
372
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,997
Okay, forget Oklahoma.
373
00:13:17,002 --> 00:13:18,002
Done.
374
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:21,196
ADULT SHELDON: In an effort
to find out the mistake
375
00:13:21,201 --> 00:13:22,897
in his experimental design,
376
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:26,601
Dr. Linkletter performed
his own experiment on me.
377
00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,537
You know, Sheldon, I don't even
care if you tell me the error.
378
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,573
In fact, I'd rather
you keep it to yourself.
379
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:32,974
All right.
380
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,977
(QUIETLY): Yeah.
381
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:36,645
_
382
00:13:36,650 --> 00:13:39,482
I got you a little something
for all your hard work.
383
00:13:39,487 --> 00:13:41,951
It's about a little boy
who doesn't let being dead
384
00:13:41,956 --> 00:13:43,616
stop him from having fun.
385
00:13:43,621 --> 00:13:44,817
Thanks.
386
00:13:44,822 --> 00:13:47,552
(CHUCKLES) Now that
I've given you something,
387
00:13:47,557 --> 00:13:48,887
perhaps you want to reciprocate.
388
00:13:48,892 --> 00:13:51,895
Sure. You can have
this. I don't want it.
389
00:13:53,094 --> 00:13:55,695
(PHONE RINGING)
390
00:13:56,946 --> 00:13:58,846
_
391
00:14:00,146 --> 00:14:01,146
Hello?
392
00:14:01,151 --> 00:14:03,603
LINKLETTER: Uh, may
I speak with Sheldon?
393
00:14:03,608 --> 00:14:06,306
It's the middle of the night.
Who the hell is this?
394
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:07,811
Uh, wrong number.
395
00:14:08,946 --> 00:14:11,914
(DIAL TONE)
396
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,582
LUNDY: All right.
397
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,218
- (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
- Let's try it again.
398
00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,758
♪♪
399
00:14:20,982 --> 00:14:22,645
- ♪ Last night... ♪
- (TURNS OFF MUSIC)
400
00:14:22,650 --> 00:14:25,130
I'm sorry, are-are we galloping,
401
00:14:25,135 --> 00:14:27,506
or are we doing double Dutch?
402
00:14:27,511 --> 00:14:29,211
You got to get your hips into it,
403
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,216
all right?
404
00:14:30,221 --> 00:14:32,452
Yeah, you get your rope,
you get your hip.
405
00:14:32,457 --> 00:14:34,620
We can gallop up, we can gallop back.
406
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,605
We're lassoing and galloping
407
00:14:36,610 --> 00:14:38,010
- around the corral.
- (KNOCKING)
408
00:14:38,015 --> 00:14:39,712
Excuse me.
409
00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:40,880
We need to talk.
410
00:14:40,885 --> 00:14:42,348
Can it wait?
411
00:14:42,353 --> 00:14:44,083
I'm trying to turn your grandson here
412
00:14:44,088 --> 00:14:46,185
into the Richard Simmons
of the Wild West.
413
00:14:46,190 --> 00:14:49,522
No, it can't. I took a look
at this contract you sent over.
414
00:14:49,527 --> 00:14:52,056
Oh, well, that's just
boilerplate legalese.
415
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:53,210
I wouldn't even read that.
416
00:14:53,215 --> 00:14:55,412
Too late. I couldn't help but notice
417
00:14:55,417 --> 00:14:57,514
you're taking 80% of the profits.
418
00:14:57,519 --> 00:14:59,316
Eighty percent?
419
00:14:59,321 --> 00:15:01,346
Well, in case no one has noticed,
420
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:03,632
I'm doing most of the work here.
421
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,201
But it was all my idea.
422
00:15:05,206 --> 00:15:09,605
Your idea was lifting weights
in some dingy garage.
423
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,409
Cowboy aerobics was hatched
in this egg right here.
424
00:15:13,414 --> 00:15:14,644
But it's my face.
425
00:15:14,649 --> 00:15:15,649
Any my money.
426
00:15:15,654 --> 00:15:17,524
And my apologies,
427
00:15:17,529 --> 00:15:20,193
but 20% is all you're getting.
428
00:15:20,198 --> 00:15:22,263
Unbelievable.
429
00:15:22,268 --> 00:15:23,785
Excuse me.
430
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,887
I've done all the choreography.
431
00:15:25,892 --> 00:15:27,289
I designed the sets.
432
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,725
I-I made the costumes by hand.
433
00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,060
You think you can find
434
00:15:31,065 --> 00:15:32,795
sequined chaps in a mall?
435
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:34,063
No, you cannot.
436
00:15:34,068 --> 00:15:36,670
And they give you quite
the look when you ask.
437
00:15:37,875 --> 00:15:39,505
Come on, let's get out of here.
438
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:41,310
Oh, fine, go ahead.
439
00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:43,778
And we're gonna make our own
exercise video without you.
440
00:15:43,783 --> 00:15:44,813
No, we're not.
441
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:45,986
No, we're not!
442
00:15:48,217 --> 00:15:50,017
And they call me dramatic.
443
00:15:51,018 --> 00:15:54,016
ADULT SHELDON: The next day,
Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment.
444
00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,952
I'm proud to say I never broke my word,
445
00:15:56,957 --> 00:15:58,888
and he eventually
figured out the problem.
446
00:15:58,893 --> 00:16:00,194
- (FLAMES WHOOSHING)
- LINKLETTER: Fire!
447
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:01,898
Fire!
448
00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:03,099
Fire!
449
00:16:03,104 --> 00:16:05,635
Was it too much oxygen in the reagents?
450
00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:08,140
See? You didn't need my help after all.
451
00:16:13,007 --> 00:16:15,007
ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy was undeterred.
452
00:16:15,012 --> 00:16:16,783
He sought out new investors
453
00:16:16,788 --> 00:16:19,453
and new talent to bring
cowboy aerobics to life.
454
00:16:19,458 --> 00:16:20,788
LUNDY: You've got the look.
455
00:16:20,793 --> 00:16:22,790
(CHUCKLES): You've got the physique.
456
00:16:22,795 --> 00:16:26,393
If-if we could secure
a star of your caliber,
457
00:16:26,398 --> 00:16:29,163
it would really put us on the map.
458
00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:31,599
I do look good in a cowboy hat.
459
00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:34,034
You look good in everything. (CHUCKLES)
460
00:16:34,039 --> 00:16:35,903
Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff.
461
00:16:35,908 --> 00:16:37,104
Call me The Hoff.
462
00:16:37,109 --> 00:16:39,073
(CHUCKLES): Okay, The Hoff.
463
00:16:39,078 --> 00:16:40,741
So, what do you say?
464
00:16:40,746 --> 00:16:44,678
Well, I've conquered television, music.
465
00:16:44,683 --> 00:16:48,813
I don't see why I couldn't
add exercise videos
466
00:16:48,817 --> 00:16:50,317
to my empire.
467
00:16:50,322 --> 00:16:51,919
So you'll do it?
468
00:16:51,924 --> 00:16:53,955
You got The Hoff!
469
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,105
Hot damn! I got The Hoff!
470
00:16:56,110 --> 00:16:57,440
(BOTH LAUGH)
471
00:16:57,445 --> 00:16:58,775
By-by any chance,
472
00:16:58,780 --> 00:17:01,010
do you know what size chaps you wear?
473
00:17:01,015 --> 00:17:03,050
Oh. I got my own.
474
00:17:04,182 --> 00:17:06,282
Of course you do. (CHUCKLES)
475
00:17:06,287 --> 00:17:08,852
- (WHIP CRACKS)
- (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
476
00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:13,222
All right, buckaroos, it's time
for cowboy aerobics with...
477
00:17:13,227 --> 00:17:15,557
- David Hasselhoff!
- David Hasselhoff!
478
00:17:15,562 --> 00:17:18,262
Who's ready to rustle up some muscles?
479
00:17:18,267 --> 00:17:22,259
- (WHOOPING)
- Let's saddle up and ride.
480
00:17:22,264 --> 00:17:23,764
ADULT SHELDON: Thanks to The Hoff,
481
00:17:23,769 --> 00:17:26,569
the video was a smashing success.
482
00:17:26,574 --> 00:17:29,972
Who wants a beach body like
the ones on Baywatch?
483
00:17:29,977 --> 00:17:32,241
Which I'm also in. Check
your local listings.
484
00:17:32,246 --> 00:17:33,543
(RICOCHET SOUND EFFECT)
485
00:17:33,548 --> 00:17:34,649
ADULT SHELDON: Unfortunately,
486
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,483
Mr. Lundy put all his profits
487
00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:38,988
into a musical about
his life, entitled:
488
00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,593
Live, Laugh, Lundy.
489
00:17:40,598 --> 00:17:42,798
He is poor to this day.
490
00:17:42,803 --> 00:17:43,803
_
491
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:49,000
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35032
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