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ADULT SHELDON: Behind
every great scientist,
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00:00:03,298 --> 00:00:06,930
there were often unsung helpers
toiling away in the background.
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00:00:06,935 --> 00:00:08,340
Presenting...
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00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:11,745
_
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00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:14,646
When Alexander Graham
Bell needed an assistant,
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00:00:14,650 --> 00:00:16,645
it was Thomas Augustus Watson
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00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,414
who answered the call.
(LAUGHS): Get it?
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"The call".
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(SNICKERING)
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Madame Curie's daughter Irène
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00:00:22,961 --> 00:00:24,658
was also her lab assistant.
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00:00:24,663 --> 00:00:28,961
Irène was so dedicated, she
died of radiation poisoning.
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00:00:28,966 --> 00:00:30,630
Unlike her sister Ève,
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00:00:30,635 --> 00:00:32,999
who selfishly lived to 102.
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00:00:33,004 --> 00:00:36,428
Lastly, Émile Roux was
assistant to Louis Pasteur.
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00:00:36,433 --> 00:00:38,463
When they worked on the rabies vaccine,
17
00:00:38,468 --> 00:00:40,632
Roux kept a loaded gun in the lab
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00:00:40,637 --> 00:00:43,216
to shoot Pasteur in the
head if he got infected.
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00:00:43,221 --> 00:00:46,221
He never had to, but it's
fun to know he would have.
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LINKLETTER: No, Sheldon.
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00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,255
You can't be my lab assistant.
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00:00:49,260 --> 00:00:51,160
Maybe you weren't paying attention.
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00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:52,294
I'll start over.
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00:00:52,299 --> 00:00:53,944
Behind every great scientist,
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00:00:53,949 --> 00:00:55,247
there was a dedicated as...
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♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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00:01:03,694 --> 00:01:06,458
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:01:06,463 --> 00:01:10,533
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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LINKLETTER: Son,
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lab assistants are
usually upperclassmen.
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I believe I've been at this university
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long enough to be considered.
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You've been here two weeks.
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Hey, 16 days if you count orientation.
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00:01:23,356 --> 00:01:26,121
Sheldon, there's a waitlist of students
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00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:27,456
who've applied for that position.
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I just can't give you special treatment.
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Not with that attitude.
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Tell you what, I'll think about it.
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Should I come back or should I wait?
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- Come back.
- I'll wait.
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I thought about it. No.
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(THE PEOPLE'S COURT THEME MUSIC PLAYS)
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Judgment for plaintiff for $169.50.
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You think Judge Wapner
and Rusty the bailiff
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are friends in real life?
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Yeah.
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You can't fake that kind of chemistry.
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I'm flying!
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There you are! Where have you been?
54
00:01:54,807 --> 00:01:57,038
- We've been waiting for you.
- What is this?
55
00:01:57,043 --> 00:01:59,274
That's the exercise guy Meemaw likes.
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00:01:59,279 --> 00:02:01,009
Sweatin' to the Oldies 2...
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I can't believe anyone pays money
to watch old people sweat.
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MISSY: 40 bucks?
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00:02:06,019 --> 00:02:07,949
GEORGE JR.: They sold
over a million of those?
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00:02:07,954 --> 00:02:09,784
At 40 bucks a pop?
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00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:11,719
Do you know how much money that must be?
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I'm not a calculator.
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40 times... one million.
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That's 40 million!
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00:02:22,268 --> 00:02:24,232
Whoa.
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00:02:24,237 --> 00:02:26,668
And then he said he wouldn't
give me special treatment.
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I think what he said is
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everybody should be treated equally.
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I'm sorry, is this Russia?
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Should we get in line for bread?
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It's his lab, Sheldon.
He can do what he wants.
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(COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO)
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I've got it.
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Dr. Linkletter likes you.
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You go on a date with him
and when he tries to kiss you,
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say you'll do it, but only
if he gives me the job.
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I'm gonna ask you to think hard
about what you just said.
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What? I want something,
he wants something...
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seems like a win-win.
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00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:54,829
Not for me.
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00:02:54,834 --> 00:02:55,997
You get a free dinner.
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Make him take you someplace nice.
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00:02:57,507 --> 00:02:59,834
- Ooh, maybe Sizzler.
- Sheldon.
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(TV PLAYING INDISTINCTLY)
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What are you doing?
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Gonna make an exercise video.
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00:03:06,579 --> 00:03:07,579
Why?
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00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:09,978
If Richard Simmons could
make 40 million bucks,
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00:03:09,983 --> 00:03:11,846
think how much I could
make with my face.
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00:03:11,851 --> 00:03:14,015
What's your face got to do with it?
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00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,255
What do you mean? I'm
gorgeous, ask anybody.
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- (DOOR OPENS)
- (SIGHS)
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ADULT SHELDON: Since my meemaw
was being stingy with her love,
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00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:23,370
I had to find another way
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00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,050
- to change Dr. Linkletter's mind.
- (TYPING RAPIDLY)
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I decided to treat this
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00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:28,220
like a science experiment...
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00:03:28,225 --> 00:03:30,431
test various methods of persuasion
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00:03:30,436 --> 00:03:32,600
to determine which was
the most effective.
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00:03:32,605 --> 00:03:35,736
Dr. Linkletter, I was talking
to the other physics professors
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and they think you having
an 11-year-old lab assistant
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- would be neat.
- No.
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00:03:41,820 --> 00:03:43,586
Don't you want your peers
to think you're cool?
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00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:44,970
- No.
- I would.
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00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:45,975
No.
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- (KNOCKS)
- Dr. Linkletter?
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What?
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00:03:49,254 --> 00:03:50,354
If you look in your drawer,
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you'll find a little something.
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00:03:53,693 --> 00:03:56,157
I hope you like peanut butter cookies.
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00:03:56,162 --> 00:03:57,792
This isn't going to change my mind.
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00:03:57,797 --> 00:03:59,560
- You sure?
- Yes.
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Then give them back,
they're my favorite.
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00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,330
- Say yes.
- _
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00:04:04,335 --> 00:04:05,498
- No.
- Yes.
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00:04:05,503 --> 00:04:07,168
- No.
- Yes.
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- No.
- HIja.
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What?
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00:04:10,710 --> 00:04:12,173
That's "yes" in Klingon.
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00:04:12,178 --> 00:04:13,808
How do you say "no" in Klingon?
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Qo'.
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Qo'!
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00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,133
Aw.
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_
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00:04:19,238 --> 00:04:21,168
I overheard some of
your other candidates
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talking about marijuana.
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00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,624
- (SNACK DROPS)
- I don't care.
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00:04:24,629 --> 00:04:25,792
Well, you should.
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00:04:25,797 --> 00:04:27,797
I think they plan on smoking it.
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00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:29,569
(LINKLETTER GROANS SOFTLY)
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_
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- You know what?
- What?
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00:04:32,465 --> 00:04:34,495
I was just admiring your posture.
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00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:37,460
You're not all hunched over
like most people your age.
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00:04:40,469 --> 00:04:43,534
So, most people think you
need expensive machines
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00:04:43,539 --> 00:04:44,739
to work out,
137
00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,607
but I just use free weights.
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00:04:46,612 --> 00:04:48,874
To be clear, they ain't free.
You got to buy them.
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00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:51,079
Are you watching yourself work out?
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00:04:51,084 --> 00:04:53,181
I made an exercise video.
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00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:54,716
Why?
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To sell.
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That's very important.
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00:04:57,590 --> 00:04:59,587
Next, we're gonna do curls.
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00:04:59,592 --> 00:05:01,122
'Cause, like I always say,
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00:05:01,127 --> 00:05:03,427
curls get the girls.
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00:05:03,432 --> 00:05:05,228
- Oh, Lord.
- What?
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00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:07,334
- (SPUTTERS)
- You want to remember: squeeze it at the top.
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00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:08,934
People like it when things rhyme.
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00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:10,269
(GRUNTS ON VIDEO)
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(PHONE RINGS)
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_
153
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Hello?
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Can I be your lab assistant?
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00:05:18,778 --> 00:05:20,475
What time is it?
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00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:21,680
That's not a no.
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If I say yes, will you
please stop hounding me?
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- Absolutely.
- LINKLETTER: Fine.
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You win. Good night.
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Just out of scientific curiosity,
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were you persuaded by
the disorienting nature
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of this late-night phone call
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or by the cumulative weight
of my relentlessness?
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That one.
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00:05:37,895 --> 00:05:40,895
ADULT SHELDON: I learned an
important lesson that night.
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When you want something,
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00:05:42,502 --> 00:05:45,871
relentlessly annoying
is your road to victory.
168
00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:53,625
- How may I assist you today?
- Follow me.
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00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:55,180
Should I look over your notes?
170
00:05:55,185 --> 00:05:57,015
Would you like me to
double-check your math?
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00:05:57,020 --> 00:05:58,550
See these bolts?
172
00:05:58,555 --> 00:05:59,952
Scrub the grease off.
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00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:01,920
- But there's hundreds of them.
- Yes.
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00:06:01,925 --> 00:06:03,325
That's where you come in.
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00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,430
Surely there's a better
use of my intellect.
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00:06:05,435 --> 00:06:07,793
Son, we're building a
solar neutrino detector.
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00:06:07,798 --> 00:06:10,062
If you don't want the
job, there's the door.
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00:06:10,067 --> 00:06:11,367
No, I want it.
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00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:12,772
Good man.
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00:06:15,506 --> 00:06:18,628
(SIGHS) Although that
door does look tempting.
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00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:19,996
So, I could really use your help
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00:06:20,001 --> 00:06:21,864
making it look more professional.
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00:06:21,869 --> 00:06:23,299
That's burn right there. (GRUNTS)
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00:06:23,304 --> 00:06:25,644
Like, adding a little, you know...
185
00:06:25,649 --> 00:06:29,549
I think the word you're
looking for is "pizazz".
186
00:06:29,554 --> 00:06:31,654
Exactly. So, you'll do it?
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00:06:31,659 --> 00:06:34,489
Well, I'm flattered that you would ask,
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00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,322
but exercise videos...
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00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:39,958
That's not really what I do.
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00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:41,693
But I've seen you on TV.
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00:06:41,698 --> 00:06:44,429
I'm soft and firm
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00:06:44,434 --> 00:06:46,832
- in all the right places.
- _
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00:06:46,837 --> 00:06:48,133
You've been in plays.
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00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:49,635
It's all right, Molly.
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00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,837
Annie's here.
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00:06:51,842 --> 00:06:53,605
Don't forget my modeling work.
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00:06:53,610 --> 00:06:55,641
- ♪♪
- _
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00:06:55,646 --> 00:06:58,715
But I have a reputation.
199
00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,120
When people hear the name Gene Lundy,
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00:07:01,125 --> 00:07:02,614
they expect quality.
201
00:07:02,619 --> 00:07:04,450
They expect showmanship.
202
00:07:04,455 --> 00:07:06,618
(CHUCKLES) They expect me to get paid.
203
00:07:06,623 --> 00:07:08,157
Oh, I'm gonna pay you.
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00:07:09,323 --> 00:07:11,523
Let's make an exercise video! (CHUCKLES)
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00:07:11,528 --> 00:07:14,492
ADULT SHELDON: While not
the lab work I hoped to be doing,
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00:07:14,496 --> 00:07:18,039
it did feel good to be part
of an actual experiment.
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00:07:18,044 --> 00:07:19,807
A tedious, menial part
208
00:07:19,812 --> 00:07:21,530
that could be performed by a monkey.
209
00:07:21,535 --> 00:07:23,735
Or worse, an engineer.
210
00:07:23,740 --> 00:07:25,771
Here you go.
211
00:07:25,776 --> 00:07:28,476
473 grease-free bolts.
212
00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,276
- (CHUCKLES) Excellent.
- Now what?
213
00:07:31,281 --> 00:07:32,611
How about I help you design
214
00:07:32,616 --> 00:07:34,547
an even better solar neutrino detector?
215
00:07:34,551 --> 00:07:36,747
Actually, what I need you to do is...
216
00:07:36,752 --> 00:07:40,052
take this grease and
put it on these bolts.
217
00:07:40,057 --> 00:07:43,288
But I just took the
grease off the bolts.
218
00:07:43,293 --> 00:07:44,423
That was the wrong grease.
219
00:07:44,428 --> 00:07:46,329
This is the right grease. Have at it.
220
00:07:47,429 --> 00:07:49,460
If this is some kind of
test to get me to quit,
221
00:07:49,465 --> 00:07:50,728
it's not going to work.
222
00:07:50,733 --> 00:07:52,031
I don't know what you were expecting,
223
00:07:52,035 --> 00:07:53,896
but this is a menial job.
224
00:07:53,901 --> 00:07:57,099
After this, I need you to
sort a crate of resistors,
225
00:07:57,104 --> 00:07:59,504
strip a case of wire and then sweep up.
226
00:07:59,509 --> 00:08:00,572
Oh.
227
00:08:00,577 --> 00:08:02,941
- Then I quit.
- (GREASE CAN THUDS)
228
00:08:02,946 --> 00:08:06,076
Now, I like the idea
of an exercise video.
229
00:08:06,081 --> 00:08:09,081
I'm just not sure that weight
lifting is the way to go.
230
00:08:09,086 --> 00:08:10,315
Why not?
231
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,820
It's low-energy. You know?
232
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,486
We don't want a one-man show.
233
00:08:14,491 --> 00:08:16,655
We want Starlight Express.
234
00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:18,323
I don't know what that is.
235
00:08:18,328 --> 00:08:20,963
You'd love it. Andrew Lloyd Webber,
236
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:22,794
people on roller skates.
237
00:08:22,799 --> 00:08:25,096
That's a thought. Skater-cise.
238
00:08:25,101 --> 00:08:26,331
Do you... do you skate?
239
00:08:26,336 --> 00:08:27,399
No.
240
00:08:27,404 --> 00:08:28,467
Too bad.
241
00:08:28,472 --> 00:08:30,669
You sure I can't just lift weights?
242
00:08:30,674 --> 00:08:32,871
Aerobics is the way to go.
243
00:08:32,876 --> 00:08:35,774
It's got music. It's got energy.
(SNAPPING FINGERS)
244
00:08:35,779 --> 00:08:37,676
It's got what?
245
00:08:37,681 --> 00:08:39,711
- Pizazz?
- Bingo!
246
00:08:39,716 --> 00:08:41,542
Now, hear me out.
247
00:08:41,547 --> 00:08:44,946
We surround you with
a bunch of dancing girls.
248
00:08:44,951 --> 00:08:46,151
No, even better.
249
00:08:46,156 --> 00:08:48,353
The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders.
250
00:08:48,358 --> 00:08:51,618
- If that's what "pizazz" means, I like it.
- (CHUCKLES)
251
00:08:52,424 --> 00:08:54,924
Of course, to do this right,
252
00:08:54,929 --> 00:08:57,360
we are gonna need some financing.
253
00:08:57,365 --> 00:08:59,765
What does your father do for a living?
254
00:08:59,770 --> 00:09:01,196
He's a coach here at the school.
255
00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:02,701
Oof.
256
00:09:02,706 --> 00:09:04,903
I know somebody who's got money.
257
00:09:04,908 --> 00:09:06,609
(DOORBELL RINGS)
258
00:09:07,665 --> 00:09:08,865
What do you two want?
259
00:09:08,870 --> 00:09:12,702
What we want is to make you rich.
260
00:09:12,707 --> 00:09:15,213
Oh, God.
261
00:09:15,218 --> 00:09:17,783
- What do you mean you quit?
- It was beneath me.
262
00:09:17,788 --> 00:09:20,519
You need to learn there's nothing
wrong with a little hard work.
263
00:09:20,524 --> 00:09:22,719
Hard work is calculating
neutrino properties
264
00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:23,924
to one percent accuracy.
265
00:09:23,929 --> 00:09:26,155
Anyone can wash bolts.
266
00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:27,790
You begged him for that job.
267
00:09:27,795 --> 00:09:30,157
I assumed he'd realize
the value of my intellect
268
00:09:30,162 --> 00:09:31,596
and put it to good use.
269
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:32,731
Hang on.
270
00:09:32,736 --> 00:09:34,266
You made a commitment.
271
00:09:34,271 --> 00:09:36,468
When you say you're gonna
do something, you do it.
272
00:09:36,473 --> 00:09:38,503
Well, he could find someone else.
273
00:09:38,508 --> 00:09:39,808
Doesn't matter.
274
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:42,314
This is about you being
a man of your word.
275
00:09:44,114 --> 00:09:45,676
ADULT SHELDON: I wanted to point out
276
00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,579
that I couldn't be a man of my word,
277
00:09:47,583 --> 00:09:51,083
since I hadn't hit puberty,
but he seemed pretty grouchy.
278
00:09:51,906 --> 00:09:53,336
GEORGE JR.: You know how you love
279
00:09:53,341 --> 00:09:54,941
those Richard Simmons tapes?
280
00:09:54,946 --> 00:09:57,876
- Yeah.
- Well, what if I told you
281
00:09:57,881 --> 00:10:00,015
we have the next big thing
282
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:02,120
in home fitness videos.
283
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:05,897
Mm. And what kind of
thing would that be?
284
00:10:05,902 --> 00:10:08,300
"Cowboy aerobics".
285
00:10:08,305 --> 00:10:09,901
(QUIETLY): Yee-haw.
286
00:10:09,906 --> 00:10:11,036
It's like, um,
287
00:10:11,041 --> 00:10:12,071
Sweatin' to the Oldies
288
00:10:12,076 --> 00:10:13,805
with a little bit of Southern swagger.
289
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:15,040
(IMITATES GUNSHOTS QUIETLY)
290
00:10:15,045 --> 00:10:16,208
Cool, huh?
291
00:10:16,213 --> 00:10:18,510
So, are y'all just
292
00:10:18,515 --> 00:10:21,042
trying to sell me an aerobics tape?
293
00:10:21,046 --> 00:10:23,070
No. No, not at all.
294
00:10:23,075 --> 00:10:24,875
We want you to give us
money to make them.
295
00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,352
"Invest". He... he means invest.
296
00:10:28,290 --> 00:10:31,690
And who would be, uh,
starring in this video?
297
00:10:31,695 --> 00:10:32,791
Me.
298
00:10:32,796 --> 00:10:34,826
(LAUGHS) That's ridiculous.
299
00:10:34,831 --> 00:10:35,927
(CHUCKLING)
300
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:38,163
And Richard Simmons ain't ridiculous?
301
00:10:38,168 --> 00:10:40,332
Well, now, the young
man does have a point.
302
00:10:40,337 --> 00:10:41,566
Yeah, maybe on his head.
303
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,401
Look, you're not getting my money.
304
00:10:43,406 --> 00:10:48,140
Well, you are passing a-a
once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
305
00:10:48,145 --> 00:10:50,242
And how much lifetime do you have left?
306
00:10:50,247 --> 00:10:52,114
That's not helping.
307
00:10:53,784 --> 00:10:55,217
No.
308
00:10:57,854 --> 00:10:59,284
All right, fair enough.
309
00:10:59,289 --> 00:11:01,686
Thank you for hearing us out.
310
00:11:01,691 --> 00:11:05,023
If you have a change of
heart, you let us know.
311
00:11:05,028 --> 00:11:06,555
Screw that.
312
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:07,990
My whole life
313
00:11:07,995 --> 00:11:10,495
I've seen you bet on football games,
314
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:13,202
throw away all kinds
of money at the track.
315
00:11:14,404 --> 00:11:15,921
If you want to gamble on something,
316
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,128
why can't it be on your own grandson?
317
00:11:20,450 --> 00:11:22,250
How much money you need?
318
00:11:23,780 --> 00:11:25,310
Well, now, um...
319
00:11:25,315 --> 00:11:28,647
how much money did you
bet on football last year?
320
00:11:28,652 --> 00:11:30,783
(CHUCKLES): Well, you're
not getting that much.
321
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:33,781
- (PHONE RINGS)
- Hello?
322
00:11:33,786 --> 00:11:35,082
SHELDON: Dr. Linkletter?
323
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:36,584
(SIGHS) Sheldon Cooper.
324
00:11:37,368 --> 00:11:40,568
I'm calling to apologize.
I shouldn't have quit.
325
00:11:40,573 --> 00:11:42,573
I made a commitment, and
I need to see it through.
326
00:11:43,571 --> 00:11:46,171
I appreciate that, but there's no need.
327
00:11:46,176 --> 00:11:49,475
There is. It's important
to me, as well as my father.
328
00:11:50,500 --> 00:11:52,000
- Fine.
- Excellent.
329
00:11:52,005 --> 00:11:54,005
Don't worry, I won't overstep my bounds.
330
00:11:54,010 --> 00:11:56,541
I give you my word as a Texan.
331
00:11:56,546 --> 00:11:58,543
- Great.
- And a man.
332
00:11:58,548 --> 00:12:00,612
- Very good.
- Well, a future man.
333
00:12:00,617 --> 00:12:02,948
At present, my hormones
and body hair aren't exactly
334
00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:04,350
- what you'd call...
- Good night.
335
00:12:04,355 --> 00:12:06,355
- (DIAL TONE)
- Hmm.
336
00:12:14,344 --> 00:12:16,041
ADULT SHELDON: The next day I returned
337
00:12:16,046 --> 00:12:18,571
to my role as lab assistant
with renewed vigor.
338
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:19,867
Bolts were greased,
339
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,502
wires were stripped,
340
00:12:21,507 --> 00:12:23,938
floors were swept, all with a smile.
341
00:12:23,943 --> 00:12:25,539
It was a forced smile
342
00:12:25,544 --> 00:12:26,744
but you'd never know.
343
00:12:26,749 --> 00:12:28,581
I must say, Sheldon, I'm impressed.
344
00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:30,641
I gave you my word
and I'm standing by it.
345
00:12:30,645 --> 00:12:32,182
Well, I know it's not glamorous,
346
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:33,866
but all scientists pay their dues.
347
00:12:33,871 --> 00:12:35,301
And I'm happy to do it.
348
00:12:35,306 --> 00:12:37,278
- Good man.
- I understand my role here.
349
00:12:37,283 --> 00:12:39,598
In fact, I noticed a flaw
in your reaction rates,
350
00:12:39,603 --> 00:12:41,816
but I kept it to myself
because I know my place.
351
00:12:41,821 --> 00:12:44,152
- You really think there's a flaw?
- Oh, yes.
352
00:12:44,157 --> 00:12:45,386
What is it?
353
00:12:45,391 --> 00:12:46,931
I appreciate you testing me,
354
00:12:46,936 --> 00:12:48,399
but I'm not going to crack.
355
00:12:48,404 --> 00:12:49,767
I'm not testing you.
356
00:12:49,772 --> 00:12:51,239
Nice try.
357
00:12:54,700 --> 00:12:56,630
So, when are we gonna shoot this thing?
358
00:12:56,635 --> 00:12:58,398
Slow down, now.
359
00:12:58,403 --> 00:12:59,900
We've got to plan out.
360
00:12:59,905 --> 00:13:02,603
You know, costumes, choreography, music.
361
00:13:02,608 --> 00:13:03,938
Let's start with the set.
362
00:13:03,943 --> 00:13:05,373
Now, I was thinking...
363
00:13:05,378 --> 00:13:07,142
an Oklahoma theme.
364
00:13:07,147 --> 00:13:08,667
Hay bales, saloon door,
365
00:13:08,672 --> 00:13:11,037
maybe a surrey with a fringe on top.
366
00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:12,271
A what with a what?
367
00:13:12,276 --> 00:13:13,739
Oh, you know.
368
00:13:13,744 --> 00:13:16,150
♪ Chicks and ducks and
geese better scurry ♪
369
00:13:16,155 --> 00:13:18,286
♪ When I take you out in my surrey ♪
370
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:19,621
♪ When I take you out ♪
371
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:20,927
♪ In my surrey with the fringe... ♪
372
00:13:20,931 --> 00:13:23,095
Okay, forget Oklahoma.
373
00:13:23,100 --> 00:13:24,100
Done.
374
00:13:25,263 --> 00:13:27,294
ADULT SHELDON: In an effort
to find out the mistake
375
00:13:27,299 --> 00:13:28,995
in his experimental design,
376
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,699
Dr. Linkletter performed
his own experiment on me.
377
00:13:32,704 --> 00:13:35,635
You know, Sheldon, I don't even
care if you tell me the error.
378
00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,671
In fact, I'd rather
you keep it to yourself.
379
00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:39,072
All right.
380
00:13:39,077 --> 00:13:41,075
(QUIETLY): Yeah.
381
00:13:41,079 --> 00:13:42,743
_
382
00:13:42,748 --> 00:13:45,580
I got you a little something
for all your hard work.
383
00:13:45,585 --> 00:13:48,049
It's about a little boy
who doesn't let being dead
384
00:13:48,054 --> 00:13:49,714
stop him from having fun.
385
00:13:49,719 --> 00:13:50,915
Thanks.
386
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,650
(CHUCKLES) Now that
I've given you something,
387
00:13:53,655 --> 00:13:54,985
perhaps you want to reciprocate.
388
00:13:54,990 --> 00:13:57,993
Sure. You can have
this. I don't want it.
389
00:13:59,192 --> 00:14:01,793
(PHONE RINGING)
390
00:14:03,044 --> 00:14:04,944
_
391
00:14:06,244 --> 00:14:07,244
Hello?
392
00:14:07,249 --> 00:14:09,701
LINKLETTER: Uh, may
I speak with Sheldon?
393
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:12,404
It's the middle of the night.
Who the hell is this?
394
00:14:12,409 --> 00:14:13,909
Uh, wrong number.
395
00:14:15,044 --> 00:14:18,012
(DIAL TONE)
396
00:14:18,017 --> 00:14:19,680
LUNDY: All right.
397
00:14:19,685 --> 00:14:22,316
- (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
- Let's try it again.
398
00:14:22,321 --> 00:14:24,856
♪♪
399
00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,743
- ♪ Last night... ♪
- (TURNS OFF MUSIC)
400
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:31,228
I'm sorry, are-are we galloping,
401
00:14:31,233 --> 00:14:33,604
or are we doing double Dutch?
402
00:14:33,609 --> 00:14:35,309
You got to get your hips into it,
403
00:14:35,314 --> 00:14:36,314
all right?
404
00:14:36,319 --> 00:14:38,550
Yeah, you get your rope,
you get your hip.
405
00:14:38,555 --> 00:14:40,718
We can gallop up, we can gallop back.
406
00:14:40,723 --> 00:14:42,703
We're lassoing and galloping
407
00:14:42,708 --> 00:14:44,108
- around the corral.
- (KNOCKING)
408
00:14:44,113 --> 00:14:45,810
Excuse me.
409
00:14:45,815 --> 00:14:46,978
We need to talk.
410
00:14:46,983 --> 00:14:48,446
Can it wait?
411
00:14:48,451 --> 00:14:50,181
I'm trying to turn your grandson here
412
00:14:50,186 --> 00:14:52,283
into the Richard Simmons
of the Wild West.
413
00:14:52,288 --> 00:14:55,620
No, it can't. I took a look
at this contract you sent over.
414
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:58,154
Oh, well, that's just
boilerplate legalese.
415
00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,308
I wouldn't even read that.
416
00:14:59,313 --> 00:15:01,510
Too late. I couldn't help but notice
417
00:15:01,515 --> 00:15:03,612
you're taking 80% of the profits.
418
00:15:03,617 --> 00:15:05,414
Eighty percent?
419
00:15:05,419 --> 00:15:07,444
Well, in case no one has noticed,
420
00:15:07,448 --> 00:15:09,730
I'm doing most of the work here.
421
00:15:09,735 --> 00:15:11,299
But it was all my idea.
422
00:15:11,304 --> 00:15:15,703
Your idea was lifting weights
in some dingy garage.
423
00:15:15,708 --> 00:15:19,507
Cowboy aerobics was hatched
in this egg right here.
424
00:15:19,512 --> 00:15:20,742
But it's my face.
425
00:15:20,747 --> 00:15:21,747
Any my money.
426
00:15:21,752 --> 00:15:23,622
And my apologies,
427
00:15:23,627 --> 00:15:26,291
but 20% is all you're getting.
428
00:15:26,296 --> 00:15:28,361
Unbelievable.
429
00:15:28,366 --> 00:15:29,883
Excuse me.
430
00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,985
I've done all the choreography.
431
00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:33,387
I designed the sets.
432
00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:35,823
I-I made the costumes by hand.
433
00:15:35,828 --> 00:15:37,158
You think you can find
434
00:15:37,163 --> 00:15:38,893
sequined chaps in a mall?
435
00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:40,161
No, you cannot.
436
00:15:40,166 --> 00:15:42,768
And they give you quite
the look when you ask.
437
00:15:43,973 --> 00:15:45,603
Come on, let's get out of here.
438
00:15:45,608 --> 00:15:47,408
Oh, fine, go ahead.
439
00:15:47,413 --> 00:15:49,876
And we're gonna make our own
exercise video without you.
440
00:15:49,881 --> 00:15:50,911
No, we're not.
441
00:15:50,916 --> 00:15:52,084
No, we're not!
442
00:15:54,315 --> 00:15:56,115
And they call me dramatic.
443
00:15:57,116 --> 00:16:00,114
ADULT SHELDON: The next day,
Dr. Linkletter ran his experiment.
444
00:16:00,119 --> 00:16:03,050
I'm proud to say I never broke my word,
445
00:16:03,055 --> 00:16:04,986
and he eventually
figured out the problem.
446
00:16:04,991 --> 00:16:06,292
- (FLAMES WHOOSHING)
- LINKLETTER: Fire!
447
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:07,996
Fire!
448
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,197
Fire!
449
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,733
Was it too much oxygen in the reagents?
450
00:16:11,738 --> 00:16:14,238
See? You didn't need my help after all.
451
00:16:21,254 --> 00:16:23,254
ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy was undeterred.
452
00:16:23,259 --> 00:16:25,030
He sought out new investors
453
00:16:25,035 --> 00:16:27,700
and new talent to bring
cowboy aerobics to life.
454
00:16:27,705 --> 00:16:29,035
LUNDY: You've got the look.
455
00:16:29,040 --> 00:16:31,037
(CHUCKLES): You've got the physique.
456
00:16:31,042 --> 00:16:34,640
If-if we could secure
a star of your caliber,
457
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:37,410
it would really put us on the map.
458
00:16:37,415 --> 00:16:39,846
I do look good in a cowboy hat.
459
00:16:39,851 --> 00:16:42,281
You look good in everything. (CHUCKLES)
460
00:16:42,286 --> 00:16:44,150
Come on, Mr. Hasselhoff.
461
00:16:44,155 --> 00:16:45,351
Call me The Hoff.
462
00:16:45,356 --> 00:16:47,320
(CHUCKLES): Okay, The Hoff.
463
00:16:47,325 --> 00:16:48,988
So, what do you say?
464
00:16:48,993 --> 00:16:52,925
Well, I've conquered television, music.
465
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:57,060
I don't see why I couldn't
add exercise videos
466
00:16:57,064 --> 00:16:58,564
to my empire.
467
00:16:58,569 --> 00:17:00,166
So you'll do it?
468
00:17:00,171 --> 00:17:02,202
You got The Hoff!
469
00:17:02,207 --> 00:17:04,352
Hot damn! I got The Hoff!
470
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:05,687
(BOTH LAUGH)
471
00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,022
By-by any chance,
472
00:17:07,027 --> 00:17:09,257
do you know what size chaps you wear?
473
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,297
Oh. I got my own.
474
00:17:12,429 --> 00:17:14,529
Of course you do. (CHUCKLES)
475
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:17,099
- (WHIP CRACKS)
- (LIVELY COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING)
476
00:17:17,104 --> 00:17:21,469
All right, buckaroos, it's time
for cowboy aerobics with...
477
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:23,804
- David Hasselhoff!
- David Hasselhoff!
478
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:26,509
Who's ready to rustle up some muscles?
479
00:17:26,514 --> 00:17:30,506
- (WHOOPING)
- Let's saddle up and ride.
480
00:17:30,511 --> 00:17:32,011
ADULT SHELDON: Thanks to The Hoff,
481
00:17:32,016 --> 00:17:34,816
the video was a smashing success.
482
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:38,219
Who wants a beach body like
the ones on Baywatch?
483
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,488
Which I'm also in. Check
your local listings.
484
00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:41,790
(RICOCHET SOUND EFFECT)
485
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:42,896
ADULT SHELDON: Unfortunately,
486
00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,730
Mr. Lundy put all his profits
487
00:17:44,735 --> 00:17:47,235
into a musical about
his life, entitled:
488
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,840
Live, Laugh, Lundy.
489
00:17:48,845 --> 00:17:51,045
He is poor to this day.
490
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:52,050
_
491
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,247
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35032
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