Original subtitles

Oh, hey!

Hi!

Is this a bad time? Do you have people over?

No! No, no, no, I'm-I'm good.

Oh, it's so good to see you!

We keep missing each other.

I know, and I'm sorry about this connection.

The Internet guy's finally coming on Saturday.

Oh! Is that Shannon?

-What? Oh, I want to say hi! -Uh, yeah, I...

-Hi! Hi! -Hold on, I thought you weren't having people over!

It's just Michelle and Delia.

-Girl, we're not people. -Yeah.

-So, how is Asheville? -Mm-hmm.

Wade says you found a place.

I did, and I-I started a new job on Monday.

I haven't even had time to unpack.

Girl, leave it for a month, okay, if it's not unpacked

-by then, throw it away. -No, what? Are you joking?

No, tell me you're -joking right now. -Uh, ladies, ladies,

-can I, can I havemy-my girlfriend back? -She's joking.

We haven't spoken all weekand I really ...ay, but first I'm gonna

need you to send me that ratatouille recipe that you

-promised me last week, okay? -Ok-Okay, okay, I just, I just want...

-there's some things I wantto tell her, okay, I promise. -Okay.

I promise you'll get the rata--

you'll get the ratatouille-- Oh, no, no,

no, Linda, that's a sponge!

Uh, all right... so how are you?

Oh, hey, you're Bert.

I'm gonna play Clash of Clans.

Okay, Bert, give me -the back the phone. Sorry. -Yeah...

It's, it's okay.

Hey, Wade, we need your opinion on something.

Would you please tell Forrest he's crazy?

So everybody's there.

I didn't want you to hang up.

Hey, listen, this is only gonna take a second.

Hey, Shannon. Yeah.

What do you think birds think cars are?

Okay, you know what? I need five minutes.

-Okay, five minutes, yeah. -Okay, yeah, take your time.

-Yeah, yes, okay. -Take your time, think about it,

we'll write our answers down, -okay? Great. -No, we won't.

Oh, my God, uh...

I'm so excited about Tuesday.

Yes, hey, it's a little thing, but, um,

my schedule changed at work and I'm not gonna be done

until 9:00-- that's okay with you, right?

Yeah, 9:00's not a problem. I just, uh, have to be

at the hotel site at 7:00 a.m. to meet the city inspector.

So if I left your place around midnight, see,

I'd get home at 4:00, 4:15.

-That sounds awful. -Okay.

So how about this? How about I stay over with you?

And head straight to work from there?

At 3:00...

At 3-3:00 a.m.?

Yeah.

Should we just pick another day?

Yeah, yeah, maybe that makes more sense.

How's Thursday?

Uh, yeah, well, let me, let me check my calendar, hold on.

Oh, no, you just, you hit the button...

And you're gone.

Linda, Linda, that's a candle!

Come on, how do you not know what food is?

Linda, drop it, drop it!

Linda, please drop it, drop it.

Shannon's Internet guy missed his window?

Yeah, he was running three hours late,

so he gave her a new window for Tuesday.

A second window defeats

-the entire window premise. -Right?

So now she's not

gonna make it here again.

-I'm so sorry. -You guys are cursed.

You know what,we'll make it work.

When she lived here,we could see each other

whenever we had a minute, but...

now that she'sfour hours away...

it just takes a littlemore planning, that's all.

You put it up wrong.

Hey, guys. Oh.

Hey, man, you missed the game.

I know, I-I zonked outon the couch.

-I don't know, -I've just been so beat lately.

Like, I've had terribleinsomnia for weeks.

Oh, that's the worst.

Maybe you should avoid -screens at night. -Mm-hmm.

-Or do more exercising. -Oh, yeah,

you know, I've beensleeping like a baby

ever since Michelleand I started

our two-week stepschallenge.

Hey, Forrest,you know I'm a bit

of a night owl myself.

Sometimes I'm up 2:00, 3:00 in the morning

playing Words with Friends.

If you can't sleep, hit me up.

-Thank you, man. -Maybe I will.

You definitelyput it up wrong.

No, I feel bad.

Mondays are usually really free for me.

It's just that my sister wouldn't take no for an answer.

Because I had to meet with her mah-jongg group.

-Mm-hmm. -Um, you know, I...

I have been thinking that, um,

it's been a while since we, uh...

Yeah, believe me, I know.

Want to?

You mean, over, over this?

Uh... sure.

Uh, but how do we...?

I think you just go for it, I think.

And, like... um, like, as if I was there.

Uh, okay.

Okay, um...

well...

here you are...

in my bed.

That's a great start, it really is, but I don't know

that you would say that if I was actually in your bed.

Yeah, right, right, we would both know that already.

And I would be kissing you.

Yes, you'd be kissing, right? We'd be, okay, uh, wow, wow,

wow, that looks like you're kissing my eyeball.

-Oh. -Yeah, that-- it felt wrong.

-Yeah, I think so. -Maybe you just talk

-sexy to me. -Why don't we, uh...

take our clothes off, right?

I mean, not that-- let's just get undressed.

-Yes, now you're talking. -Yeah.

Uh, the dog is watching.

Yeah, you're watching, yeah, you're watching me,

-you dirty dog. That's right. -No,

my actual dog. -they're watching. -Oh!

I think she's got to go to the bathroom.

She hasn't been out in a while.

You know what, you stay here, all right?

Don't go anywhere, I'll be right back, okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Go, go, come on, come on, come on.

I really hope you sleep better tonight, honey.

Thank you. Me, too.

That's not a rattlesnake, is it?

What, that click?

You know they found a six-foot snake

in a ditch on Morgan Street, right?

I mean, can you imagine?

I don't know what I would do.

No... I'm pretty sure

that's just the hot water pipe clicking.

What, like it's gonna burst?

No, like it's making the sound that it makes.

Okay, but you did pay the flood insurance, right?

After what happened to that woman on Loma Linda.

-Ooh. -What happened on Loma Linda?

Well, you know, she got water in her fuse box

and then...

Why are you making a missile sound?

I can't believe you didn't hear that ambulance the other night.

Am...?

Okay, so you're gonna call the pipe guy?

Yeah? Put that on your list, right, honey?

Yeah, of course, of course.

Forrest, everything okay?

Yeah, you said hit you up if I couldn't sleep.

No, man, that was if you wanted to play Words with Friends.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Pretend I didn't call.

Not really possible at this point.

It's just...

for the last month or so, Delia's started running

through a list of everything she's worried about

before she goes to bed.

I'm her fear dumpster.

Forrest, don't stress.

Nothing good happens at 2:00 a.m.

Look, tomorrow morning, the sun will be shining,

and you'll be ready for whatever life throws your way.

Trust me, it's all okay.

Forrest? You heard me?

Over video?

Really?

Was it awesome? It sounds awesome.

It was just awkward.

Sexy awkward?

Please pretend I never told you.

You know, I also received a not-sexy

awkward phone call last night.

I'm sorry. It will never happen again.

I called him and woke him up last night.

But then I got the best sleep I'd had in weeks!

He's so soothing.

-What did you do? -I did nothing! He's making it weird.

Ben's voice is like being wrapped

in a, in a warm bearskin rug.

See? I told you it's so weird.

Will, uh, one of you get that?

Yeah, oh, it's Shannon. Hey, Shannon.

Don't worry, we're getting right out of here.

-We're getting right out. -Okay.

Yeah, because whatever two adults do in private

is A-OK with us, right?

What did Wade tell you?

Nothing! It's fine.

It's fine-- I might even try it with Delia.

Although, you know, I guess,

we'd have to go in separate rooms.

-Okay. -I'm gonna make up the guest bed, just in case.

All right, come on, give me that, get out of here.

-Hey, babe. -Hi.

So I have good news.

I switched shifts with Curtis

so I have Saturday night off.

Oh, perfect! Uh...

except Saturday is no good.

No, uh, Grace has her choir concert.

How about Friday?

No, we have a big party at the restaurant.

I can't get away. Uh, what about, uh...

-what about Thursday? -Thursday...

Thursday I've got...

nothing. Oh, my God.

I can leave Norwood in charge of the site in the afternoon

and be there by dinner.

I was thinking that maybe, um,

we could have a little fun before dinner.

Well, I like a little before-dinner fun.

I know you do.

Oh, shoot! The, uh, my sea bass is burning-- I got to go.

-Bye! Bye, bye, bye. -Okay, all right, go, go, go, go.

Ah...

yes.

How many steps do you have?

-Oh, 8,800. -What?!

How is that possible?

I only have 7,000-- what are you doing differently?

I'm walking.

Oh, it's your short little steps.

You walk like a penguin.

Well, a penguin closing in on 9,000 steps.

Oh,

did you hear about the nice old man who lives

in the blue house on River Bank Drive?

Oh, Mr. Szathmary?

Oh, don't tell me that a snake got to him.

Mm-mm, but somebody stole the catalytic converter

right out of his car. What?

That is terrible.

What is a catalytic converter?

I don't know.

But you definitely want it.

Oh, yeah, I'm sure. That's why they have it.

Wow, I had no idea how bad this neighborhood

was getting until you joined that app.

Some of his neighbors started a GoFundMe for him.

For what, the converter thingy?

Worse. Worse?

Well, worse?

Oh, well, they thought it was just a sore throat.

But, you know, the good news is,

these days they can sometimes

stretch the remaining healthy esophagus.

Poor guy's just driving around without a catalytic converter.

Just spewing carbon into the atmosphere.

Meanwhile...

a piece of the arctic ice shelf the size of Connecticut

is just gonna break off...

any minute.

You can't keep doing this.

How big is Connecticut?

Just ask Delia not to unload on you.

Oh, but, oh, she's got so much stress.

We all do, Forrest.

You think I don't have stress?

Kai thinks the Tooth Fairy hates him

because she only gave him two dollars

and his friend Lucas got $20.

I had to spend an hour in his bedroom tonight consoling him.

But I know that tomorrow,

he's gonna be playing with that little spoiled brat Lucas

and everything will be fine, you know what I'm saying?

Forrest?

Forrest, you're asleep, aren't you?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, this is the wrong lesson.

Forrest, get up!

There has to be -consequences, Forrest! -What?!

Awake-- I'm here!

I'm here! Hello! Hey!

Ben?

Thank you so much

for picking up Grace from school tomorrow.

Are you thanking me or reminding me?

Can it be a little bit of both?

I'm sorry.

I'm just... I'm so excited

about getting on the road to see Shannon.

It's just been so long, I miss her so much.

Hey, corn dog.

Uh, corn got my dog. Dog... got my corn.

What? No, no, no. Linda-- Linda! Linda!

You don't ever want to feed a dog a corncob.

Good rule of thumb is, if you wouldn't eat it,

your dog shouldn't eat it.

Well, that pretty much rules out

everything Linda eats.

Will she be okay?

Should be.

Worst case scenario, emergency surgery.

But hopefully she'll pass the cob on her own.

Oh, poor girl.

Um...

Ah. Hold on.

Hey, babe.

I'm kind of in the middle of something.

Everything okay?

Yes. Sorry.

Just, I-I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Yeah, yeah. I'm-I'm excited, too.

Um, I got to, I got to run. I'll see you soon.

-Excited! -Okay, okay. Bye.

So, um, how long will it take the cob to pass?

-Eight hours. -Oh, great!

Two days on the outside.

Ah.

Well, Linda,

let's do this.

My love life is in your hands.

Technically, your love life is in her butt.

Was that really -necessary? -Why would you say that?

I thought it was funny.

Linda, let's go outside.

Let's do this.

Let's go.

Come on, you got it.

Come on, let's do-- let's do this.

"Are you up?"

Remember that blonde lady who gave you that nice lamb shank?

Well, I'd really like to see her again,

and I bet you really want to pass that corncob,

so... win-win.

Ah...

It's okay, girl.

You feel better.

We still got time.

Nope.

When are you supposed to leave?

Uh, four hours ago.

You know what? Go.

Go. Go see Shannon.

I will stay with the dog.

Nobody has a better rapport with him than I do.

Linda is a her,

and, you know, if she needs surgery...

Yeah-- I'll take him!

Her.

And thanks, man, but it's okay.

I wish I understood

what was keeping you up all night, Forrest.

Yeah, Ben hasn't been able to sleep, either.

Yeah, I'm not sleeping because he's not sleeping.

And he's not sleeping because of you!

Me? What-what am I doing?

What, am I kicking you?

Oh, am I talking in my sleep?

What am I saying?

Is it gibberish? Is it whole words?

No. No, you just vent.

You're freaking him out.

-What? -With the rattlesnakes

and the catalytic converter,

and the boom noises no one can identify. It's just...

What are those? I don't know.

That's not my fault.

Michelle's on that app, you know, and she tells me

every single scary thing

that's happening -in our neighborhood. -Oh.

Don't blame me.

I have to talk to somebody about it,

or else I can't sleep at night.

Well, now I can't sleep at night.

Yeah, which means I can't sleep at night.

Yeah, tell me about it.

-You all right, Wade? -Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Long distance relationships suck.

I don't know, I just keep telling myself

that... it's going to get easier.

But when?

Is there anything we can do?

Uh... no.

I got to go break the news to Shannon

that we're not going to see each other...

again.

Well, you know -where to find us. -Yeah.

Thanks, guys.

I feel so bad about the dog.

I wish Wade would let me stay with him.

MICHELLE, Her!

I know he's a her.

Dad! Dad!

Linda just pooped the cob out in the kitchen!

She-she what? Yeah!

Come clean it up! What?

No. You clean it up.

I'm out of here. What?

You-you... Look at you.

Aw, you're the best dog.

Aw, you pooped the cob!

Oh! Yes! Mwah!

Okay.

Hey, hey, hey.

Guess what. We have corn.

We have corn?

Does that mean you can come?

Yes, I am walking out of the house right now.

Alexa, how long will it take to get to Asheville?

Based on current traffic,

it'll take about four hours, three minutes

to drive to Asheville.

11:15. I'll take it.

Better! Bert's with my sister,

I can meet you halfway.

There's this diner just off I-40 in Statesville.

Yeah? Is it good?

-Not really. -Well, you know what?

Doesn't matter.

Alexa, how long will it take to get to Statesville?

Based on current traffic,

it'll take about one hour, 51 minutes

to get to Statesville.

Guess who's coming to Statesville.

I can't tell you how good it is

-to see you. -It is so good to see you.

Yeah, so, uh,

Sadie's actually, um... she's not convinced you exist.

This is Sadie, this is your-your friend from work?

No. Sadie, uh, Sadie from high school.

She's the one who helped me find the house.

Who are you thinking of?

I just remember

you mentioned there's a Sadie in the kitchen.

The one with the complete set of SpongeBob tattoos.

Oh, Sophie!

-Okay. -Don't make that mistake.

Ever. No.

It is kind of hard to take her seriously

with Squidward on her neck, but, uh,

trust me, she's... she's really tough.

So just ...ay, all right.

Whoa, I-I stand warned.

Okay. Okay.

How is everybody?

They're great.

Yeah? Yeah.

But I... I just want to hear

about you. About me?

Yeah. Oh.

I really wish you'd told me

that I've been keeping you up at night, Forrest.

Oh, I didn't want to bother you.

Oh, but you know, that kind of stress,

it just can really build and build and build

and-and inflame ulcers

and cause heart disease.

Just ask Martha from my office.

Wow, her husband--

just healthy as an ox

and then, out of the clear blue sky,

next day, he just... he just ups and d...

Oh. I'm doing it again.

Forrest, I'm so sorry.

Honey, I get it.

Life is stressful. Yeah.

And if I can be therapeutic for you,

I want to be. Mm...

I want to be that guyin The Green Mile... Oh.

...who absorbs everybody's pain

and then spits out a mouthful of bees.

Didn't that kill him?

No, he got the electric chair.

Okay. Yeah.

Well, I love

that you want to turn my pain into bees.

But I just-- I can't keep doing this to you anymore.

It's just, it's too hard on you.

And I love you.

I love you.

What was that boom?

I didn't hear anything.

No?

Sounded like a transformer, or...

like gas...

No. No?

Okay. I'm sure it's nothing.

Yeah. Just...

Okay. Well...

you just relax

and... good night.

I wish you could come back with me.

Oh, I wish you could come back with me.

I know.

Well, I think it's a victory that we made it halfway.

Right? I mean, so did the Titanic, so...

Yeah.

I'll see you soon, okay?

Okay. Okay. But not,

not this week, because I have to deal with, um,

I have to deal with Bert's new school.

Um ..., I guess he's been teaching his classmates

some very interesting words.

Oh. Which, in fairness, I guess I taught him, so...

um... maybe the week after?

Well, it can't be on the weekend,

because Friday is Grace's 16th birthday.

Yeah. And I,

I promised her that I would take her and her friends

to go ride go-carts.

Oh, that's fun.

Okay, well, why don't we try, um, a weekday?

Yeah. Yeah.

Weekday it is.

Okay. All right.

Okay.

Hey, uh, Shannon...

Yeah?

Um...

I want to say thank you.

Thank you? Okay.

When I met you, I was a, um,

a shell-shocked widower.

I... I didn't think

that I would ever meet anybody ever again.

And then you came along.

And you... you taught me things, you know?

Things that I had,

um... I had forgotten.

Like I could be in a relationship.

I could be happy.

I could, uh...

I could feel normal again.

And for that,

I will f... forever be grateful.

We don't ha-- we don't have to...

Look, I just, I...

I wanted you to know that.

You know, just in case that weekday doesn't work out.

It'll... It'll work out.

I mean, it's...

this is going to get easier.

Sometime.

Um...

I'm not ready to say goodbye.

Then let's not say goodbye.

Okay.

Okay.

Goodbye.

I can't keep doing this.

-I need my sleep. -I know, Ben. I know.

But Forrest just said

that you were so helpful.

I didn't do anything.

You guys just worry too much.

-Yeah. Look.

Things can get bleak at night, I know,

but you can deal with it.

I know you can.

Just put aside everything that's going on in the world

and stop worrying.

Delia?

Huh.

The hell is that?