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1
00:00:03,545 --> 00:00:05,798
Have you guys seen
this feature that lets you talk to Siri
2
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,511
without pressing any buttons?
3
00:00:07,758 --> 00:00:09,135
No, how does it work?
4
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:12,433
You just say,
"Hey, Siri, what time is it?"
5
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,065
SIRI: The time is 6:37 p.m.
6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,268
So now anyone can control your phone?
7
00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:21,314
Hey, Siri, show me pictures
of naked grandma butts!
8
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:26,194
- Nice try, it only recognizes my voice.
- Oh, cool.
9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:29,330
(MIMICS RAJ) Hey, Siri, show me
pictures of naked grandma butts!
10
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,617
(SCOFFS) I don't sound like that.
11
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:35,457
SIRI: Here are some images
of naked grandma butts.
12
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,963
Hey! Good news, everybody.
13
00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:42,126
Now that I'm no longer with Amy,
I have an extra ticket
14
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:45,171
to the annual Thanksgiving lunch buffet
at the aquarium cafeteria.
15
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,384
Who wants it?
16
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:52,519
You realize you won't be going alone.
I'll be there the whole time.
17
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,310
Providing fish and pilgrim facts.
18
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,231
Can you people hear me?
19
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:02,983
Well, we're having everyone over.
20
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,320
- Yeah, Leonard and I are cooking all day.
- Otherwise, we'd love to.
21
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:08,702
- But we can't. Mmm-hmm.
- Poor us.
22
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:15,997
And Raj and I are volunteering at the soup
kitchen feeding food to the homeless.
23
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,249
Oh, Howard, what about you?
24
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:22,337
Oh, I can't, I'm going
to the soup kitchen, too.
25
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,803
You said that sounded
like the worst thing ever.
26
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:30,683
If you can't support me when I'm lying,
why are we married?
27
00:01:32,467 --> 00:01:34,515
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
28
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,540
Hi, Sheldon, what's up?
29
00:02:02,914 --> 00:02:05,758
Well, I'm calling because
Thanksgiving is coming up
30
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:08,966
and I wanted to offer you
the aquarium tickets.
31
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,472
No one can go with you?
32
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:13,384
No, they'd rather spend the holiday
with each other
33
00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:16,599
than find out if this
is the year I finally touch a starfish.
34
00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:20,273
Anyway, I wouldn't want the tickets
to go to waste,
35
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,317
so take whomever you'd like.
36
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,936
Oh?
37
00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,067
Okay, thank you.
38
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:29,905
And feel free to tell your guest
that the Myanmar catfish
39
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,865
is also known as the pilgrim fish.
40
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:35,414
In case the turkey's dry
and you need something juicy.
41
00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:39,410
Sheldon, I can tell you want to go,
42
00:02:39,618 --> 00:02:43,714
so if you'd be comfortable with it,
maybe we could go as friends.
43
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,583
You don't think that will be awkward?
44
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:50,095
Well, it is Thanksgiving
in an aquarium cafeteria,
45
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,180
so I'm gonna go out
on a limb here and say yes.
46
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:57,394
But if you mean between us,
I think it'll be fine.
47
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:01,682
Very well, then.
I'll see you on Thanksgiving morning.
48
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,016
See you then.
49
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,236
Oh, forget what I said
about the Myanmar catfish.
50
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:09,569
My list of marine-themed
pilgrim facts is pretty short.
51
00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:12,868
Did you know they served shellfish
and eel at the first Thanksgiving?
52
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:14,453
And there goes my list.
53
00:03:18,907 --> 00:03:20,534
So, how does this work?
54
00:03:20,784 --> 00:03:24,505
The soup kitchen manager assigns
the jobs and the shifts are six hours.
55
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:25,838
- (BUZZING)
- Six hours?
56
00:03:26,289 --> 00:03:29,042
(SIGHS) I don't wanna
complain for that long.
57
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,637
Do you ever do anything for anyone else?
58
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,342
I happen to be a giving
and generous lover.
59
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:41,517
Are you and I close
enough for me to say that's creepy?
60
00:03:41,763 --> 00:03:44,562
We are and I believe the word you're
looking for is... (GROANS IN DISGUST)
61
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,897
- Uh, can I help you?
- Hi, we'd like to volunteer.
62
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,941
Oh, I appreciate you guys coming down,
but we already have enough people.
63
00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,868
Any other day, please, come back.
(CHUCKLES)
64
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:56,490
Oh, okay.
65
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,127
Wipe that smug smile off your face.
66
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:08,882
Maybe I'm happy that so many people
turned up to help the less fortunate.
67
00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,800
(CHUCKLES)
68
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:12,548
Are you and I close enough for me to say...
69
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,426
That he's an ass? He beat you to it.
70
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,841
Uh, I was wrong.
A large group had to cancel.
71
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:20,181
Oh, great, we'd love to help!
72
00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:24,348
Wipe that smug smile off your face.
73
00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,476
(CHUCKLES) I can't!
74
00:04:30,312 --> 00:04:33,316
Look at us! Our first Thanksgiving
as husband and wife.
75
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:37,027
- I know, I feel so grown up.
- Uh, sweetie, you are grown up.
76
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:41,074
Really? How many grown-ups do you know
who have Mr. Spock oven mitts?
77
00:04:42,866 --> 00:04:45,460
Hey, the recipes are on my iPad.
Will you pull 'em up?
78
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,708
- Yep. What's the code?
- My birthday.
79
00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:50,507
It's not working.
80
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,717
It's just four digits.
The month and day.
81
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,053
Nope.
82
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:57,885
Let me see.
83
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:01,931
Yeah. There.
84
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,359
What number were you putting in?
85
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:12,479
Uh...
86
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:17,401
- You don't know my birthday, do you?
- Yes, I do.
87
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,695
- When is it?
- May.
88
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,622
May what?
89
00:05:24,032 --> 00:05:27,332
I'm not gonna say your password out loud,
that is not secure.
90
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,998
You don't know
your own husband's birthday!
91
00:05:31,206 --> 00:05:34,506
- You don't know everything about me.
- Your birthday is December second.
92
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:35,877
You grew up on Perkin Street.
93
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:39,090
The last four digits of your social
are seven-six-two-one.
94
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:42,430
And the odds of me letting
you forget this are zero! (CHUCKLES)
95
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,769
Oh, look at us, our last Thanksgiving
as husband and wife.
96
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,319
- Hello.
- Hi.
97
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,153
- Ready for the aquarium?
- I am.
98
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:01,742
And in an effort to reduce awkwardness
as we learn how to function as friends,
99
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:05,540
I printed out a list of safe topics
for polite conversation.
100
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,495
If that makes you more comfortable.
101
00:06:10,245 --> 00:06:12,794
If there were a list of things
that make me more comfortable,
102
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,004
lists would be on the top of that list.
103
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,802
Okay, now, oh, since last we spoke,
have you acquired any pets?
104
00:06:21,298 --> 00:06:22,720
No. You?
105
00:06:23,341 --> 00:06:24,433
No.
106
00:06:26,636 --> 00:06:31,233
Um, since last we spoke,
have you planned or gone on any vacations?
107
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,476
I might go visit my aunt next week.
108
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,901
- Your aunt in Modesto?
- No. The one in Bakersfield.
109
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:38,820
Bakersfield, I see.
110
00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,739
Where has this list been all my life?
111
00:06:44,487 --> 00:06:46,706
We're gonna have you washing dishes.
112
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:50,794
Uh, aprons and rubber gloves are here.
Just scrape, wash and stack.
113
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:52,211
If you need me, I'll be around.
114
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,879
So we don't even get to be
up front where the action is?
115
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:57,550
What difference does it make?
116
00:06:57,834 --> 00:07:01,054
I don't know. I was hoping some poor kid
would come up to me and say,
117
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,177
(IN BRITISH ACCENT)
"Please, sir. I want some more."
118
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:10,347
You're in a soup kitchen,
not a production of Oliver!
119
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:14,185
(IN NORMAL ACCENT)
It's not like I'm expecting them to sing.
120
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:21,943
Then the next day was 73 degrees,
then the day after that was 72,
121
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,614
and then it was 72 again,
122
00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:27,205
then it was 74,
and that brings us to today, at...
123
00:07:27,530 --> 00:07:30,033
I'd wear shorts if I had a pair, 78.
124
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,833
Are we done discussing the weather?
125
00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,581
I don't know if I'd call it "discussing,"
126
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,667
you kind of sat back
and let me do all the work.
127
00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,928
Let's see what's next on the list. Oh!
128
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:45,549
Uh, do you whittle,
and if so what kind of knife do you...
129
00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:49,845
Sheldon!
We've known each other a long time.
130
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:52,890
We are perfectly capable
of having a conversation
131
00:07:53,098 --> 00:07:55,396
without relying
on a list off the Internet.
132
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,612
All right, what should we talk about?
133
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,691
I don't know, just ask me
whatever comes to mind.
134
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,908
Very well.
I know you've been seeing other men.
135
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:10,869
Have you had coitus with any of them?
136
00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,161
Man, I walked right into that one.
137
00:08:18,206 --> 00:08:22,006
Next, we need a teaspoon of pepper,
138
00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:26,174
which I believe was also the name
of your childhood dog.
139
00:08:28,800 --> 00:08:31,019
Fine, you think you know so much?
140
00:08:31,636 --> 00:08:33,354
- Who's my favorite Spice Girl?
- Baby.
141
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,064
- Who's my favorite member of NSYNC?
- Justin.
142
00:08:35,223 --> 00:08:37,442
- Who's my favorite Backstreet Boy?
- (SCOFFS) Nice try, NSYNC forever.
143
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:38,601
Damn it!
144
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:43,483
(CHUCKLES) Face it, you can't stump me.
I am the king of husbands.
145
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,318
I know you don't like that lingerie
that I got you on Valentine's Day,
146
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:49,078
I know you hate the word "moist,"
I know you don't...
147
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,828
Hang on, wait, wait.
Why don't I like the lingerie you got me?
148
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:56,162
Because it's orange and you think
it makes you look like a slutty carrot.
149
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,540
Interesting. I never told you that.
150
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,593
- Sure, you did.
- No, I never told anyone that.
151
00:09:04,294 --> 00:09:06,137
But I did write it in my journal.
152
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,512
(IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) What?
153
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,521
I didn't know you had a journal.
154
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:19,143
I also know your voice
gets higher when you're lying.
155
00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:21,820
(IN LOW-PITCHED VOICE) No, it doesn't.
156
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:33,369
- Huh, this reminds me of high school.
- You worked in a restaurant?
157
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:36,785
No, I was in India.
It was humid and smelled funny.
158
00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:42,211
All right, I think I'm getting
into a groove here. This isn't so bad.
159
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:44,501
Yeah, only five hours
and 40 minutes to go.
160
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,757
We've only been doing this 20 minutes?
161
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:52,593
You know, I read that washing dishes
can be an excellent form of meditation.
162
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:58,474
The key is that while washing the dishes,
one should only be "washing the dishes."
163
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:04,362
Just because you have that accent
doesn't mean what you say isn't stupid.
164
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:08,821
No, seriously,
it's about being present in the moment.
165
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:13,701
Focusing on the feeling of the warm water.
The smell of the detergent,
166
00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:17,159
the sound of the dishes squeaking
and following your own breath.
167
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,836
It's about simply being.
168
00:10:21,371 --> 00:10:22,543
Huh? (CHUCKLES)
169
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,545
Okay, I'll try it.
170
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,632
(BREATHING DEEPLY)
171
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:32,340
- I need three people out front.
- I'll do it!
172
00:10:32,549 --> 00:10:33,766
RAJ: Me!
EMILY: Right here!
173
00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,221
No fair, I was meditating!
174
00:10:40,223 --> 00:10:41,600
Oh, come on, don't be mad.
175
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,061
It was a long time ago
and it was an accident.
176
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,774
How can reading my journal be an accident?
177
00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:49,320
I didn't even know what it was. I saw it
on your nightstand, I picked it up.
178
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,234
Well, when you realized what it was,
why didn't you stop?
179
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,740
(SCOFFS) You know me,
I'm a big ol' bookworm.
180
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,832
- Let's just finish cooking.
- (STUTTERING)
181
00:10:58,116 --> 00:10:59,868
Let me make this up to you.
182
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:04,001
Sometimes, I keep an online journal.
I want you to read something that I wrote.
183
00:11:04,205 --> 00:11:05,252
Really, I'm fine.
184
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:09,253
Uh, okay, then I'll just read it to you.
It's from the day that we first met.
185
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,383
(CLEARS THROAT)
186
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:15,551
- "Beauty, thy name is Penny..."
- Oh, God, stop.
187
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,270
I don't want you to read
something you think'll just butter me up.
188
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:21,268
I wanna hear
the most recent thing you wrote.
189
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:22,974
Fine.
190
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,896
(HUMMING AWKWARDLY)
191
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:33,285
"Penny's beauty, like our love,
grows more with each passing day."
192
00:11:33,568 --> 00:11:34,660
Does it really say that?
193
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,364
Why would I lie?
194
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:46,924
"OMG, OMG, We're so close to
the new Star Wars. I can't take it. Gah."
195
00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:49,877
"Gah"?
196
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:54,389
Well you didn't read it right.
The new Star Wars is coming, gah!
197
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:03,644
I'm sensing things have gotten awkward.
198
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,150
No, it's okay.
199
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:09,403
If we're friends,
we should be able to talk about anything.
200
00:12:09,646 --> 00:12:10,989
All right.
201
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:15,361
So, you had some questions
about me seeing other people.
202
00:12:16,444 --> 00:12:18,287
- Just a few.
- Go ahead.
203
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,535
How many dates have you been on?
Who were they with?
204
00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,669
Where did you go? Where did you meet them?
Did you sleep with them?
205
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,124
And how much longer to the aquarium?
I'm getting kind of hungry.
206
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,422
Let's see... (SIGHS)
207
00:12:33,002 --> 00:12:36,222
I've been on six dates
with three different people.
208
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,967
It was either for coffee or dinner.
209
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:42,604
One I met at a bookstore
and two I met online.
210
00:12:43,346 --> 00:12:46,520
I haven't slept with anyone,
the aquarium is 40 minutes away,
211
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,277
and there's a baggie of Cheerios for you
in the glove compartment.
212
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,446
Is that regular or Honey Nut?
213
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,574
I mixed them.
214
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:59,033
You mixed them. No wonder gentleman
callers are pounding down your door.
215
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,658
Do you have any questions for me?
216
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,378
Just one.
217
00:13:08,997 --> 00:13:10,340
Are you doing okay?
218
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:13,668
I am.
219
00:13:15,044 --> 00:13:16,091
Good.
220
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,140
(STUTTERS) I want you to be happy.
221
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,347
I believe you.
222
00:13:25,555 --> 00:13:28,104
I'd believe you more if you threw
a few Apple Jacks in here.
223
00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:33,942
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
224
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:36,698
You gotta be kidding me.
225
00:13:37,191 --> 00:13:38,238
Sorry?
226
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:41,992
- (SHUDDERING) You're Elon Musk.
- I am.
227
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,917
(STUTTERING) What are you doing here?
228
00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,002
I'm washing dishes.
229
00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:55,376
Well, I was on the turkey line,
but I got demoted
230
00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,383
for being too generous with the gravy.
231
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,427
Oh, man... (CHUCKLING)
What an honor to meet you.
232
00:14:04,510 --> 00:14:09,937
(GASPS) I'm such a fan of Tesla
and SpaceX. All your companies.
233
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:13,232
- Howard Wolowitz, Caltech.
- Nice to meet you, Howard.
234
00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,734
Feels great to come down here
and help the less fortunate, huh?
235
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,277
Oh, yeah.
236
00:14:18,816 --> 00:14:21,945
Nothing better than helping people.
237
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:28,953
Which is something I realized
when I was viewing Earth
238
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,004
from the deck
of the International Space Station
239
00:14:32,622 --> 00:14:35,592
where I spent two months
as a payload specialist,
240
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,797
a job I was qualified for
because I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
241
00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:44,092
And I thought I ladled the gravy on thick.
242
00:14:46,135 --> 00:14:48,809
Sorry. It's just... You're you...
(CHUCKLES)
243
00:14:49,430 --> 00:14:51,478
And I really want you to adopt me.
244
00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,649
Well, you're here on Thanksgiving,
so you're probably a good person.
245
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,897
Oh, I made my wife come down, too.
246
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:02,118
You think you might ever
get back out to space?
247
00:15:02,819 --> 00:15:05,993
Is that a job offer?
'Cause I really wanna go to Mars.
248
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,661
Assuming I can bring my wife.
249
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,543
She hardly takes up any room.
She's basically a carry-on.
250
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,755
Well, we're not quite there yet,
but we're always looking for engineers.
251
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,670
So let me give you my email,
we can stay in touch.
252
00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:18,172
Thank you.
253
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,670
(HOWARD GASPS)
254
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:21,671
Oh, look.
255
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:25,346
Someone hardly touched their pumpkin pie.
Want to share it with me?
256
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:32,937
A partially eaten piece of pumpkin pie
from a homeless shelter?
257
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,775
With Elon Musk? You bet I do!
258
00:15:40,857 --> 00:15:45,704
You know, for a Thanksgiving buffet in an
aquarium cafeteria, that was really bad.
259
00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:49,165
You're just upset
'cause they ran out of pilgrim hats.
260
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,248
They gave one to that baby,
he wasn't even awake.
261
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:56,839
Well, it wouldn't be a holiday
without you being mad at a baby.
262
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:02,504
Oh, would you care to play
an ocean-themed game I invented?
263
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:06,224
- Sure, what is it?
- It's called Food, Friend, Fight.
264
00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:10,054
One of us chooses three aquatic creatures
and the other one must decide
265
00:16:10,261 --> 00:16:12,639
which he would eat, befriend, or battle.
266
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,188
So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill.
267
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:17,648
What is that?
268
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,733
It's a game where
you're given three people
269
00:16:19,896 --> 00:16:22,115
and you choose
which one you'd kiss, marry, or kill.
270
00:16:22,773 --> 00:16:26,823
Well, my game is better because instead
of marrying someone, you get to eat them.
271
00:16:27,695 --> 00:16:28,787
Let's just play.
272
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:34,749
I'll start you off easy.
Electric eel, puffer fish, shrimp.
273
00:16:35,786 --> 00:16:36,912
Hmm.
274
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:39,123
Well, I wouldn't fight the eel
275
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,926
because I know it can generate
enough current to kill a horse.
276
00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,798
So I'd eat the eel, fight the shrimp,
and befriend the puffer fish
277
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:50,055
because it would be nice to have
company on those days I feel bloated.
278
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:53,559
- Very well done.
- Thank you.
279
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,147
Okay, your turn.
280
00:16:55,806 --> 00:16:59,436
Um... Seal, hagfish...
281
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,989
SpongeBob SquarePants.
282
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,368
Well, I'd befriend SpongeBob, but he's not
real, so I can't do that, can I?
283
00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,828
But you can pal around with a hagfish?
284
00:17:09,987 --> 00:17:11,830
Hey, let's not pull at that thread.
285
00:17:12,949 --> 00:17:15,418
Okay, I'll fight SpongeBob.
286
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:19,088
Because he's so friendly,
we'll just end up tickling each other.
287
00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,962
Um, I'll befriend the seal
because he's trainable,
288
00:17:22,124 --> 00:17:24,468
which was the problem I'm having
with my current friends.
289
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:27,551
Which means I'll have to eat the hagfish.
290
00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:29,723
Isn't that gross?
291
00:17:29,924 --> 00:17:33,053
A hagfish can produce enough mucus
to fill a bucket in a minute.
292
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:36,481
I know. It makes its own gravy,
it'll slide right down.
293
00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,321
I miss this.
294
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:49,197
How can you miss a game
you've never played before, silly?
295
00:17:49,527 --> 00:17:50,779
(AMY CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
296
00:17:51,821 --> 00:17:53,494
Guess sometimes I'm silly.
297
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,000
Hey, where'd you go?
I can't tell if the turkey's done.
298
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,539
LEONARD: Be right there.
299
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,348
- Hi, lover.
- (GASPS)
300
00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:16,057
What are you doing?
301
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,814
I'm sorry about the journal
and I want to make it up to you,
302
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,940
so I'm going to let you post
a shame photo of me on Facebook.
303
00:18:26,022 --> 00:18:29,367
I am not putting that on the Internet!
I don't want people to see this.
304
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:30,989
I don't want to see it!
305
00:18:32,570 --> 00:18:36,291
(CHUCKLES) You don't want people
to see what, huh? A little bit of this?
306
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,826
Oh...
307
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,706
Some of this?
308
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:49,421
And since it's Thanksgiving,
an extra helping of this.
309
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,423
Happy Thanks...
310
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:03,564
I'm glad you had a nice time with Amy.
311
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:08,440
Uh... Me, too. It's comforting to know that
she and I are able to function as friends.
312
00:19:08,731 --> 00:19:10,859
Well, I've never been friends
with any of my exes.
313
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,570
Oh, I'm sure you and Leonard
will be able to pull it off.
314
00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:16,447
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
315
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:19,575
Oh, it's my friend Amy.
316
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,161
- Hello.
- Hi, Sheldon
317
00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,205
I'm just driving home from my mother's.
318
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,087
- Did you have a nice time?
- I did.
319
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,926
Um...
320
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:33,006
Listen, I really enjoyed
spending this morning with you.
321
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,220
Oh, well, I can't take all the credit.
322
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:38,974
It was pretty funny when that one
anchovy started going the wrong way.
323
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:40,934
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
324
00:19:41,263 --> 00:19:44,267
It was. Uh, listen...
325
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:50,448
I was thinking that, um, maybe I'm ready
to be your girlfriend again.
326
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:53,825
Oh?
327
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,446
I thought we were just friends.
328
00:19:57,863 --> 00:20:02,334
We are. But I was hoping, maybe...
329
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:07,332
Amy, I excel at many things,
but getting over you wasn't one of them.
330
00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:12,716
I think I need to just be your friend.
331
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:17,808
Okay. I understand.
332
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,308
SHELDON: Good.
333
00:20:22,179 --> 00:20:25,479
Oh, I watched a video
of the hagfish producing mucus,
334
00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:28,812
so I'm going to change
my answer and eat SpongeBob.
335
00:20:30,187 --> 00:20:31,564
(SHAKILY) Okay, sure.
336
00:21:01,135 --> 00:21:02,136
English - SDH
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