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1
00:00:02,169 --> 00:00:03,591
PENNY: Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:05,635
Well, there's no point dwelling on it.
3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,386
As the Vulcans say...
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,434
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
5
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,185
- Do you know what that means?
- No.
6
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:15,774
You telling the truth?
7
00:00:16,058 --> 00:00:17,401
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
8
00:00:18,936 --> 00:00:19,983
Well, this is ridiculous.
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:23,194
Being upset about Amy all the time
isn't accomplishing anything.
10
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,068
If I wanna resolve this situation,
then I need to take action.
11
00:00:26,527 --> 00:00:27,528
What are you gonna do?
12
00:00:27,778 --> 00:00:29,951
I'm going to find her
and ask her to marry me.
13
00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:33,583
And if she says yes, we can put this
behind us and resume our relationship.
14
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:37,755
If she says no, well, then she can just...
(SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE)
15
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:43,127
He didn't mean that.
16
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,467
(INAUDIBLE)
17
00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:10,075
I think it's so adorable
you're making Sheldon breakfast.
18
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:11,822
Well, he's having a rough time.
19
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,164
Amy broke his heart,
20
00:01:13,490 --> 00:01:16,243
the DVR cut off the last minute
of Doctor Who.
21
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,912
That crow followed him home.
22
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,633
Aren't you worried you're making
French toast on oatmeal day?
23
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,466
Oh? Well, what's this? A pot of oatmeal?
24
00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:30,182
Or thanks to you, what I will
now call "gloatmeal"? (CHUCKLES)
25
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:33,051
Oh, I don't want credit for that.
26
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,939
Dr. and Mrs. Hofstadter,
lovely to see you this fine morning.
27
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,350
- You're in a good mood.
- I am indeed.
28
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:44,146
I have decided, instead of
wallowing in sadness about Amy,
29
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:47,028
it is time that I find myself
a new female companion.
30
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,861
- Ah, good for you.
- What brought this on?
31
00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:52,530
I realized something.
When Amy was in my life,
32
00:01:52,863 --> 00:01:55,707
I was hyper-focused on my work
and ignored her.
33
00:01:55,991 --> 00:01:58,210
And you don't want to make the same
mistake with the next woman?
34
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,625
No, I need a new woman
in my life to ignore,
35
00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,873
so I can hyper-focus on my work again.
36
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,167
Hey, I made French toast sticks.
37
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:08,466
- On oatmeal day?
- Ah, I also made oatmeal.
38
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,265
Oh, that's a lot of carbohydrates
for a man on the prowl.
39
00:02:12,591 --> 00:02:14,343
You know what? You eat it, you're married.
40
00:02:14,551 --> 00:02:16,349
It doesn't matter what you look like.
41
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:21,441
Don't take advice from a man
who threw his shoe at a crow.
42
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:24,940
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
43
00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,763
- Thank you for coming by, gentlemen.
- No problem.
44
00:02:51,922 --> 00:02:53,344
So, what's up?
45
00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,301
It was the two of you
who found Amy Farrah Fowler for me.
46
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,519
Now that I'm looking
for my next girlfriend,
47
00:02:58,762 --> 00:03:01,766
it seemed only logical
that I employ your services once again.
48
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,643
You sure you're up for that?
She did hurt you.
49
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:09,065
Oh, no, it's all right. I think of my time
with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum.
50
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:14,112
Sweet and enjoyable at first, but
ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.
51
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:20,118
You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe.
I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
52
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:24,254
Hubba Bubba over Dubble Bubble?
You're crazy.
53
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,798
Hey, the jaw wants what it wants.
54
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,467
Gentlemen!
55
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,799
Oh, right. Uh, girlfriend.
56
00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:32,675
(STAMMERS) What are you looking for?
57
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:37,054
All I'm looking for is an educated,
intelligent woman who shares my interests,
58
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,136
while retaining
her own unique point of view.
59
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,181
She should be kind, patient,
and most important,
60
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:45,814
unable to imagine life without me
by 10 o'clock tonight.
61
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,233
Isn't that a little unreasonable?
62
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:52,775
Ah, fine. She doesn't need her own
point of view. Now, chop chop.
63
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:56,699
Come on, Amy! Show us the dress!
64
00:03:57,154 --> 00:04:00,533
AMY: Okay, but I'm really stepping outside
of my comfort zone here.
65
00:04:08,123 --> 00:04:09,124
Uh...
66
00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:12,173
I don't think any of your comfort zones
are showing.
67
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,922
It's your third date,
maybe you could go more sexy.
68
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:19,268
Well, some people think
the sexiest organ is the brain.
69
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:21,470
No one ever bought me drinks at a bar
70
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,680
because my brain just
popped out of my shirt.
71
00:04:25,307 --> 00:04:28,060
Do you have any heels higher than this?
He's pretty tall.
72
00:04:28,727 --> 00:04:31,856
Ooh, tall! Finally some details
about this mystery man.
73
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:33,319
Yeah, come on. Tell us more.
74
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,990
Well, I told you his name and that
he's tall. What more do you need?
75
00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:40,706
- Did you kiss him yet?
- Just a little peck on the lips.
76
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,865
(BOTH SQUEAL)
77
00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:45,870
Well, we're your best friends.
78
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,296
Give us one more detail
and we promise we'll leave you alone.
79
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:51,834
Fine. Um, he's British.
80
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,043
(BOTH SQUEAL)
81
00:04:54,669 --> 00:04:57,297
(CHUCKLING)
All right, that is a juicy one!
82
00:04:57,798 --> 00:05:00,142
All right, where's
Tall British Dave taking you?
83
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:01,719
Tea and basketball?
84
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,810
- To that new Italian place on Walnut.
- Oh, nice.
85
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,891
- I'm gonna go look for other shoes.
- Oh, good luck.
86
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:11,019
I threw out all my tall ones
when I married Leonard.
87
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,108
Hey, you wanna swing by that place
tonight and get a look at this guy?
88
00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:18,569
We don't even know what time
they're gonna be there.
89
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:21,496
I'll just call the restaurant, pretend
I'm Amy and check the reservation.
90
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:23,748
Damn, you're sneaky.
91
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,042
Yeah, but I'm little, so it's adorable.
92
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,749
I think the quickest way
to find you a new girlfriend
93
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,510
is just to get you on
every dating website out there.
94
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,422
Are you sure?
I've heard that on those sites,
95
00:05:38,630 --> 00:05:40,632
often when you think
you're corresponding with someone,
96
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,886
it's actually a computer program
pretending to be a real person.
97
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,021
And you're afraid
it'll do a better job than you?
98
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:52,228
Excuse me, no one does a better job
pretending to be a person than I do.
99
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:56,614
Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.
100
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,448
Well, if you don't want to use
dating websites, what do you suggest?
101
00:06:00,777 --> 00:06:01,994
Off the top of my head?
102
00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,249
Prospective women
weed themselves out in a battle of wits
103
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,034
until only one champion remains,
104
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:09,912
she shows up at my door
flush with the thrill of victory,
105
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,457
and then sits quietly by my side
while I watch Daredevil.
106
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,386
You seriously think women
would fight for you?
107
00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,589
People compete for jobs and trophies,
why not me?
108
00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,805
He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.
109
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,855
No, but it is basic human nature.
110
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:31,433
If we present him as a prize,
maybe they would.
111
00:06:32,183 --> 00:06:34,982
Well, he's smart,
he's a respected scientist.
112
00:06:35,604 --> 00:06:38,699
And I have the soulful eyes of a cow.
113
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:43,821
- (SCOFFS)
- I don't know if I'd say you... Oh.
114
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,709
I have an idea. What if we put
a post on Craigslist that says,
115
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,875
"World-class Caltech physicist
seeking girlfriend.
116
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:57,425
"If interested, solve the following
puzzles for a chance to meet him."
117
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,419
Oh, we'll make the puzzles
extremely challenging
118
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:01,384
to eliminate unworthy candidates.
119
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,473
Oh, we can set it up like a scavenger hunt
120
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:06,852
where the last puzzle gives the winner
Sheldon's contact information.
121
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:09,183
This is actually
an interesting social experiment.
122
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:11,519
I'm a little jealous of the people
who get to do it.
123
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:13,691
Me, too, and we've seen the prize!
124
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:20,858
I don't understand why we're leaving
so early for the movie?
125
00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,992
Oh, I forgot to tell you,
we're gonna meet up with Bernadette
126
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:24,781
to spy on Amy and her date. (CHUCKLES)
127
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,909
What? I don't wanna do that.
128
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,538
And you think I wanna see a documentary
about aluminum can recycling?
129
00:07:31,201 --> 00:07:34,546
This is the movie that Big Soda
doesn't want you to see.
130
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:38,087
Yeah, it's the movie
your wife doesn't want you to see.
131
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,838
So, you're actually okay with invading
your friend's privacy?
132
00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,304
- You're not curious who she's out with?
- Not really.
133
00:07:46,716 --> 00:07:48,844
But you're curious about aluminum cans.
134
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,935
You're a weird little guy.
135
00:07:56,768 --> 00:08:00,363
That's it. The Sheldon Cooper
Girlfriend Challenge is officially live.
136
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:01,564
(CHUCKLES)
137
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,233
- Congratulations.
- This is exciting.
138
00:08:03,441 --> 00:08:04,567
Right now, somewhere,
139
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:07,988
a woman is dividing the atomic weight
of the best noble gas
140
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:11,203
by the number of colors
in the oldest national flag still in use...
141
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,410
Then using that number as
the average speed to calculate
142
00:08:13,576 --> 00:08:15,374
- the travel time from Mordor to the Shire.
- (CHUCKLES)
143
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,924
And taking her first step towards
a lifetime of laughter,
144
00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,756
love and best of all, rules.
145
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,130
I hope we didn't make
the puzzles too hard.
146
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,721
Well, if she can solve them,
it'll prove she's intelligent,
147
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,973
tenacious and so socially awkward,
148
00:08:31,219 --> 00:08:32,846
she has nothing better to do
on a Saturday night.
149
00:08:33,096 --> 00:08:34,097
(LAUGHING)
150
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,438
Golly, she sounds too good to be true.
151
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,607
This is fun.
I haven't dated much since my divorce.
152
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,821
Well, I'm having a good time, too.
153
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:49,030
If you don't mind me asking,
why did you and your wife split up?
154
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,623
Oh, you know how it is,
we wanted different things.
155
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,540
I wanted children, and she wanted
a pastry chef named "Jean-Philippe".
156
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,671
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- It's fine.
157
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:02,129
It's why I left England.
It reminded me too much of her.
158
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:06,801
Cold, gloomy, and easily accessed by
a Frenchman through a tunnel.
159
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:12,932
- Hey. So, where are they?
- Across the street, in the left window.
160
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:16,143
Oh, damn it,
we should have brought binoculars.
161
00:09:16,598 --> 00:09:17,975
Right here.
162
00:09:19,267 --> 00:09:21,110
You just happen to have those in the car?
163
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,031
Kind of. Before I met Howie, I liked to
keep close tabs on my boyfriends.
164
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:26,817
By stalking them?
165
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,610
No, stalkers are creepy.
166
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:32,997
I'm just a harmless little girl
with military grade spy equipment.
167
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:36,955
PENNY: Oh, there he is.
BERNADETTE: He's cute, right?
168
00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,165
Yeah.
169
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:39,621
Can I see?
170
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,215
What? Now you're interested?
You didn't even want to come.
171
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,506
I know, but you guys make
being a crappy friend look fun.
172
00:09:46,336 --> 00:09:47,428
Fine.
173
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,515
LEONARD: Yeah, okay, I see him.
174
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:53,810
It looks like they're having a nice time.
I wish I could hear what they're saying.
175
00:09:54,010 --> 00:09:55,853
Yeah, I should have brought
my parabolic microphone.
176
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,022
- Your what?
- Nothing. Not important.
177
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:00,774
So, you've never been married?
178
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:06,156
No. To be completely honest, I've only
been in one long-term relationship.
179
00:10:06,731 --> 00:10:08,950
- What happened with that?
- That's a good question.
180
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:17,034
After five years, it was just feeling like
more work than it should be.
181
00:10:17,325 --> 00:10:19,578
That's too bad.
Was he a neurobiologist like you?
182
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:23,048
No, he's a theoretical physicist
at CalTech.
183
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,295
I love teaching math,
but that would be my dream job.
184
00:10:28,503 --> 00:10:29,846
What's his focus?
185
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:33,342
Um, it used to be string theory,
now it's dark matter.
186
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,557
But let's not discuss Sheldon,
let's get back to you.
187
00:10:37,220 --> 00:10:40,190
Wait, you're not talking about
Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
188
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,727
I'm trying not to.
189
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,479
Do you know him?
190
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:50,067
No, but I've followed his work for years.
He's a rock star.
191
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:53,077
You've got to tell me about him.
What's he like?
192
00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:58,534
He really seems into her.
193
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,915
I took a video.
I forgot how much fun this is.
194
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:07,963
Okay, we saw them.
Can we go catch the movie?
195
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,169
(PENNY EXHALES)
196
00:11:09,377 --> 00:11:11,971
- Why'd you bring him?
- I had to, we're married now.
197
00:11:13,464 --> 00:11:14,556
Ah, I hear that.
198
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,107
I'm sorry,
just one more question about Sheldon.
199
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:24,438
Sure, why not?
200
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,729
It's more of a four-part question, really.
201
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:33,277
When he wrote his paper on supersingular
prime numbers, how long did it take?
202
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,245
Um, about an hour and a half.
203
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,447
Wow!
204
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:42,752
I mean... Wow!
And you were there to see it?
205
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,288
Yes. Yeah, we were on a date.
206
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,675
Very much like this one.
207
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:53,297
I doubt it was like this one.
I mean, he's a genius.
208
00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:54,973
And I wasn't even smart enough
209
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:58,302
to figure out why
my wife always smelled of croissants.
210
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,850
What was the rest of your question?
211
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,606
- Do you think you can introduce me to him?
- Really?
212
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,271
You want me to introduce you
to my ex-boyfriend?
213
00:12:06,768 --> 00:12:08,520
You're right, it's weird.
214
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:09,820
No, wait. Do it.
215
00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,325
No, I changed my mind, I'd be too nervous.
216
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,987
Oh! I don't know what to do!
217
00:12:19,322 --> 00:12:21,745
Are we gonna be much longer?
I really have to go to the bathroom.
218
00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:23,163
Right here!
219
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:31,042
37 minutes left until the deadline.
220
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,003
Someone will show.
221
00:12:33,169 --> 00:12:36,173
And no matter what happens,
this was still a fun experiment.
222
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,510
Not as fun as the night
we blew up grapes in the microwave.
223
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,979
We really have led full lives.
224
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,186
Someone will show.
225
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,309
Maybe you don't want someone
exactly like you.
226
00:12:48,518 --> 00:12:50,566
You know what they say, opposites attract.
227
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:55,033
By that logic, I should be with someone
short, dull, and needy.
228
00:12:55,858 --> 00:13:00,409
Not to cast dispersions, but I can't shake
a stick around here without hitting that.
229
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,089
You know, I once drove 500 miles
to hear him speak at Stanford.
230
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:15,178
- I have a DVD of that lecture.
- Really? Wasn't it great?
231
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:19,049
Not as a Valentine's present, no.
232
00:13:19,924 --> 00:13:21,392
Well, the next time you watch it,
233
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:25,848
I'm the bloke who asked the question
that he said was stupid and obvious.
234
00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,858
It was the nicest thing
he said to anyone there.
235
00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:33,526
That's, um, terrific. Listen, um,
I'm kind of tired. Can we call it a night?
236
00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:38,110
Oh, gosh. Sorry, I just spent the whole
night talking about your ex-boyfriend.
237
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,741
- I'm such an idiot.
- No, you're not.
238
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,451
Well, maybe not an idiot.
239
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,959
But certainly not as smart as...
Someone we won't mention.
240
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:47,910
Thank you.
241
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:51,673
That you said you might introduce me to.
I'm free on Thursday.
242
00:13:52,248 --> 00:13:54,626
- Hey, they're leaving.
- What? Here, gimme, gimme.
243
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:59,381
Oh, my God, oh, my God.
They're coming right towards us.
244
00:13:59,589 --> 00:14:01,842
- We gotta get out of here.
- Wait, what about Leonard?
245
00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:04,769
- He and his tiny bladder can take the bus.
- (SEATBELT CLICKS)
246
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:06,262
(ENGINE STARTING)
247
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:08,765
(BOTH SCREAM)
248
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:10,725
Oh, no!
249
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,406
She just hit my car!
250
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:19,200
What are you guys doing here?
251
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,445
Hi, Ames! What're you doing here?
252
00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:27,584
- What happened?
- OMG.
253
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:30,836
- Aren't you Leonard Hofstadter?
- Yeah?
254
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:33,464
I saw you speak at Stanford
with Sheldon Cooper.
255
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:37,215
Amy, can you believe it?
It's Dr. Leonard Hofstadter!
256
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,963
No, pinch me!
257
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:43,049
It's an absolute pleasure to meet you.
Can I shake your hand?
258
00:14:43,758 --> 00:14:46,511
I don't know if you want to do that,
I was just... Okay, never mind.
259
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:51,016
- Amy, I'm never washing this hand again.
- You really should.
260
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:57,447
60 seconds, this is not looking good.
261
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,448
One minute is a long time.
262
00:14:59,857 --> 00:15:01,985
Oh, I've been telling women that
for 20 years.
263
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:07,824
- 45.
- 45 seconds is plenty of time
264
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:11,286
for a woman to walk through that door
and fall in love with me.
265
00:15:11,661 --> 00:15:14,414
And probably half that
if I break out the old cow eyes.
266
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,882
30 seconds.
267
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,334
Uh-oh.
268
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:22,013
- What if it's Jennifer Lawrence?
- What?
269
00:15:22,380 --> 00:15:24,678
Oh, that last Hunger Games
was not my cup of tea.
270
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,385
You thought she was great in X-Men.
271
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:30,354
Fine, I won't shut my heart
to the love of Jennifer Lawrence.
272
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:34,016
Guys, 15 seconds.
273
00:15:34,183 --> 00:15:36,527
Maybe she's waiting to show up
at the last possible moment.
274
00:15:36,853 --> 00:15:40,699
Ugh. Sounds like a drama queen. Oh, no.
It is Jennifer Lawrence.
275
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:49,200
Five, four, three, two, one.
276
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,876
That's too bad.
277
00:15:56,205 --> 00:15:58,299
Maybe we did make the test too difficult.
278
00:15:58,583 --> 00:16:00,756
(SIGHS) I don't think it matters.
Look, Sheldon,
279
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,088
I believe when the time is right
for you to meet someone,
280
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,926
it'll just happen, okay?
281
00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:07,221
Not because of a test or a website,
but because...
282
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,384
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
283
00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:12,142
We are the dreamers of dreams!
284
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,905
It's an actual girl
and she's really pretty!
285
00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:22,273
Answer it!
286
00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,450
All right.
287
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,703
Can I help you?
288
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,915
Um, are you the physicist
that placed the ad on Craigslist?
289
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:38,164
- Yes.
- Hi, I'm Vanessa Bennett.
290
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:41,334
Sorry it took a while for me to get here.
I was stuck in this boring symposium
291
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:44,254
on atomic spectroscopy
when I came across your ad.
292
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:45,679
And it saved my night. (CHUCKLES)
293
00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,465
The puzzles were really fun.
294
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:51,978
I've never had to translate Klingon
into ancient Sanskrit before.
295
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,648
Careful, it's addictive.
296
00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:00,816
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
297
00:17:04,232 --> 00:17:05,950
Or as they say in Sanskrit,
298
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:09,870
(SPEAKING SANSKRIT)
299
00:17:11,113 --> 00:17:13,457
And just like that,
you're a Klingon-Sanskrit junkie.
300
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:17,329
Anyway, I just knew
I had to meet the person responsible
301
00:17:17,703 --> 00:17:19,171
for such a brilliant idea.
302
00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,924
And I don't need to tell you there aren't
a lot of men who love physics,
303
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:24,882
archaic languages and flags of the world.
304
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,051
I am a bit of a unicorn.
305
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,885
Well, you certainly seem
like a special lady,
306
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,932
uh, but as you know,
you missed the deadline,
307
00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,142
so thanks for playing.
308
00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,308
What?
309
00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:44,738
How could you send her away?
310
00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:46,824
She was late.
311
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:52,496
And she found atomic spectroscopy boring.
I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.
312
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:00,830
(HANDBRAKE CLICKS)
313
00:18:01,122 --> 00:18:03,500
- Uh, thanks for driving me home.
- No problem.
314
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:06,715
- I'm really sorry about your car.
- Oh, it's all right.
315
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:09,222
If you're free next weekend,
I'd love to take you out again.
316
00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:10,881
Um...
317
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:15,178
Listen, you're a really nice guy,
but I don't think this is working out.
318
00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:17,684
Oh. Okay.
319
00:18:18,014 --> 00:18:19,982
Um... I'm really sorry.
320
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:21,233
Oh...
321
00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:25,112
At least the same woman
that rejected Sheldon Cooper rejected me.
322
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,067
There ya go. (CHUCKLES)
323
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:32,453
If I ever do meet him,
we'll have that in common.
324
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:34,747
Sure. (CHUCKLES)
325
00:18:35,031 --> 00:18:38,626
And he's kissed you and I've kissed you,
so if you think about it...
326
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,328
Okay, get out.
327
00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:10,733
English - SDH
27188
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