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1
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:05,931
Did you hear about this study
that found people
2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:09,560
that were cool and popular at 13
have problems succeeding later in life?
3
00:00:10,052 --> 00:00:11,929
Hmm. I'm doing okay
and I was very popular at 13.
4
00:00:12,429 --> 00:00:13,851
- In school?
- Oh, no, at home.
5
00:00:15,474 --> 00:00:18,193
The servants would sing to me,
laugh at my jokes.
6
00:00:20,479 --> 00:00:21,947
I wish I knew their names.
7
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,951
Does the study say
what happens to the unpopular kids?
8
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:28,199
You tell me. You woke up in bed with one.
9
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:34,076
Listen to this.
I just received an email from Wil Wheaton.
10
00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:37,128
Leonard Nimoy's son is working
on a documentary
11
00:00:37,371 --> 00:00:39,544
that he started with his father
before he passed away.
12
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:42,129
It's about Mr. Spock
and his impact on our culture.
13
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,840
Why is he writing to you?
14
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,137
Well, they're looking for fans
to interview
15
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,549
- and Wil thought I'd be good for it.
- Oh. Hey, high five.
16
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:49,883
Absolutely not.
17
00:00:51,802 --> 00:00:54,555
Yeah, Penny, you've spent some time
in front of the camera.
18
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:56,140
Any words of advice?
19
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:58,980
Yes, don't take your shirt off
just because the director said so.
20
00:01:00,644 --> 00:01:02,317
This is a documentary about Mr. Spock.
21
00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:04,406
I'm sure if there's nudity
it will be tasteful.
22
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:08,652
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
23
00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,891
(SWORDS SLASHING ON TV)
24
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:38,891
Hey, you got a minute?
25
00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:42,520
Not really.
Visigoths are kinda up my butt right now.
26
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,694
Pause the game, Howard.
27
00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:48,609
Howard? Oh-oh. Make room, Visigoths.
28
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,737
'Sup?
29
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,114
We need to talk about
redecorating this place.
30
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:56,075
(SIGHS) No, not this again.
31
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,786
(SIGHS) Look, I get that you grew up here,
32
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,372
and you're attached to things
looking a certain way,
33
00:02:02,039 --> 00:02:03,712
but I want this to feel like
my house, too.
34
00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,920
(CHUCKLING) Oh. Honey,
of course it's your house.
35
00:02:07,169 --> 00:02:08,386
Why else would you be cleaning it
all the time?
36
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,089
(CHUCKLES)
37
00:02:12,132 --> 00:02:13,679
All right, let's start over.
38
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:17,229
I'm redecorating.
The furniture, the carpeting, the walls.
39
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,148
I'm changing everything that depresses me
when I look at it.
40
00:02:20,557 --> 00:02:22,059
Try not to be one of those things.
41
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,982
May I say something?
42
00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,901
Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper
43
00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:29,153
'cause your dad left
when you were little and your mom died?
44
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:30,780
Never mind.
45
00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,039
Hello, Amy. It's Sheldon.
46
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:39,493
Yeah, I know that we're broken up but
I'm leaving this message because
47
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,209
I thought perhaps
you'd like to watch me be interviewed
48
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:44,255
for a documentary about Mr. Spock.
49
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,835
Or as I like to call it, a Spockumentary.
(LAUGHS)
50
00:02:48,835 --> 00:02:50,929
Yeah, I'm going to use that joke
in the interview,
51
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,056
so try to laugh
like you're hearing it for the first time.
52
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,304
You know, hysterically.
53
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,387
And with a tinge of sadness
that I'm no longer in your life.
54
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:01,773
I'm the one who thought of Spockumentary.
55
00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,267
And I'm laughing like I did
the first time I heard it.
56
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,607
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
57
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,486
- Hello.
- Hey, Sheldon.
58
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,484
- This is Adam Nimoy.
- Nice to meet you.
59
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,281
Oh, it's nice to meet you.
60
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:16,656
I admire your father's work very much.
61
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,324
It's not every day I get to meet someone
62
00:03:18,490 --> 00:03:20,743
whose life's journey began
in my hero's scrotum.
63
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,457
I told you, this guy is gold.
64
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:32,921
Whatcha doing?
65
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:34,639
Oh. Making myself a bologna sandwich
66
00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,969
like my mom used to make me
after my dad left but before she died.
67
00:03:42,806 --> 00:03:46,185
Okay, listen, I'm thinking that maybe
we can compromise on the house.
68
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:48,569
I'm listening.
69
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,443
Let's just redo one room
and see how it goes.
70
00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,818
That is reasonable, but what room?
71
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,909
- How about this one?
- No way, no.
72
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,957
This is the room
I associate the most with my mom.
73
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:04,537
- Then how about the bathroom?
- I wanna change my answer.
74
00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:08,791
Fine, then the dining room.
75
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:12,754
I guess we didn't use it very often.
Unless we had company.
76
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:15,680
Which didn't happen much after
my dad left but not at all after my mom...
77
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:17,599
Great, I'm gonna go
pick out paint samples.
78
00:04:21,219 --> 00:04:22,937
All right.
We're just gonna have a conversation,
79
00:04:23,138 --> 00:04:24,515
pretend the camera's not here.
80
00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,183
All right.
81
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,319
But this better not be some elaborate
scheme to get me out of my shirt.
82
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,241
- How long have you known Adam?
- A few years.
83
00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:37,452
- And what are you getting him back for?
- (CHUCKLES)
84
00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:40,538
Let's start with your name and occupation.
85
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:44,542
Doctor Sheldon Cooper,
Theoretical Physicist, Caltech.
86
00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:48,046
ADAM: And what is your earliest memory
of the character Spock?
87
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:53,219
The first episode of
Star Trek: The Original Series I ever saw
88
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:55,049
was The Galileo Seven.
89
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,382
Uh, Spock had just landed on the planet
Taurus II.
90
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:02,307
Then my brother came in, sat on my head
and said, "Eat farts."
91
00:05:04,679 --> 00:05:06,056
After that day I was hooked.
92
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,102
On Star Trek,
not my brother's sphincter-based cuisine.
93
00:05:13,104 --> 00:05:15,402
What was it about Spock
that appealed to you?
94
00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,486
I think the same thing that
appeals to people everywhere.
95
00:05:18,902 --> 00:05:23,453
The dream of a cold rational world
entirely without human emotion.
96
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:27,665
Spock came from a planet
governed only by logic.
97
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:30,084
You know, on Vulcan,
when your brother asks,
98
00:05:30,247 --> 00:05:32,545
"Why are you hitting yourself?"
The answer is,
99
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,423
"I'm not. You're moving my arm."
100
00:05:37,379 --> 00:05:39,131
To which he says, "Fascinating."
101
00:05:39,798 --> 00:05:41,892
And then you both watch
educational television.
102
00:05:43,969 --> 00:05:47,394
Oh. When he says things like that I just
wanna hug him and make everything better.
103
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:50,775
- My brother was mean to me, too.
- Yeah, you probably had it coming.
104
00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:54,821
Do you have any Spock collectibles?
105
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,273
I have many.
106
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:58,817
My most treasured is an autographed napkin
107
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:01,198
given to me
by my very thoughtful friend, Penny.
108
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,533
That's her over there.
109
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:06,908
Hi.
110
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:10,621
(CHUCKLES) Look at that, I'm in a movie,
my shirt stayed on.
111
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,550
- Can we see the napkin?
- Of course.
112
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,510
Excuse me. This will just take a moment.
113
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,353
When did we get a wall safe?
114
00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,437
When there was no more room
in the floor safe.
115
00:06:36,855 --> 00:06:38,607
When did we get a floor safe?
116
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,364
When we got the security camera.
117
00:06:41,985 --> 00:06:43,658
There's a security camera?
118
00:06:45,322 --> 00:06:47,916
Aquaman. Protecting your home since 2012.
119
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,875
Oh, my God,
we've done things on that couch.
120
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,376
Yeah, you don't have to tell me.
121
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:00,094
So, your father-in-law
is in there right now?
122
00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:02,510
Yes, so back me up.
The house is good the way it is.
123
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:03,844
Okay. Got it.
124
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,014
- Hey, what's going on?
- Hey.
125
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:10,059
Hey, Raj, Dad and I were just
talking about taking down this wall.
126
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,267
You sure? It's a pretty great wall.
127
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,729
What's so great about it?
128
00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:19,360
I'm sorry, I did what I could.
129
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:23,910
Seriously? You brought Raj over
to take your side?
130
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,449
Your dad's on your side.
131
00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:28,081
He's not on my side.
He's doing all the work for free.
132
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,077
That is so generous of you.
133
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:33,415
I'd like to switch sides.
134
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:39,050
Look, I don't even think you can take
this wall down 'cause it's load-bearing.
135
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,633
Well, it's easy to find out, just go into
the crawlspace under the house and check.
136
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,722
When is your visa up?
137
00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:50,558
Not only is it signed to me,
138
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,768
but this is where he wiped his mouth.
139
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:56,603
So, we are currently in the presence
of Leonard Nimoy's DNA.
140
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,151
Um, doesn't Adam count
as Leonard Nimoy's DNA?
141
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,701
No offense,
but this is pure 100 percent Nimoy.
142
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:07,245
Now, because of your mother,
you're only 50 percent.
143
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:12,455
Which isn't bad, but anything that
you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away.
144
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:17,255
Okay, enough about the napkin.
What else you hiding in there?
145
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:18,916
- Wouldn't you like to know.
- I would.
146
00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,296
Yeah, all right, then.
147
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,888
See, it's just my valuables.
My passport, my will.
148
00:08:25,296 --> 00:08:26,969
- You have a will?
- Yeah, my one-eighteenth scale
149
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:28,390
Wil Wheaton action figure.
150
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:34,565
Yeah, I also have the other kind of will.
And in it I will my Wil back to Wil.
151
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,438
- Will Wil want it?
- Wil won't.
152
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:43,069
- What's that ring box?
- Oh, that is an engagement ring,
153
00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,157
that I was going to give
my girlfriend Amy.
154
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,450
What?
155
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:50,030
You bought her a ring?
156
00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,282
No, no, no, this has been in my family
for generations.
157
00:08:52,615 --> 00:08:55,289
No, except for a short time when Comanches
158
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:57,955
cut off my great-great-great
grandmother's finger and stole it.
159
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:00,340
Sheldon, that's awful.
160
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,092
No, the Texas Rangers
tracked them down to their village
161
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,761
and slaughtered every last one of them.
162
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:07,134
It was a happy ending.
163
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:09,925
Well, for my nine-fingered nana.
164
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,137
Okay, back to the ring.
Does Amy even know about this?
165
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,475
No, she broke up with me
before I could broach the subject.
166
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,775
Man, I'm sorry.
That must've been devastating for you.
167
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,235
No, not at all. No, I'm fine.
168
00:09:21,478 --> 00:09:23,731
You know, Amy had reservations
about our relationship
169
00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,114
so all worked out for the best.
170
00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:26,903
- I know, it's just...
- I said I'm fine!
171
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,833
We've gotten a little off topic.
172
00:09:36,493 --> 00:09:40,339
Allow me to make things entertaining again
in this little Spockumentary.
173
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,837
That was Leonard's joke.
174
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:57,438
As a child, when faced with a dilemma,
175
00:09:57,597 --> 00:10:00,692
my mother encouraged me to ask,
"What would Jesus do?"
176
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:04,020
The answer to that was always,
"Love thy neighbor."
177
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,358
But my neighbor had a dead tooth,
178
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,451
so that wasn't going to happen.
179
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,041
But that's why I changed it to,
"What would Spock do?"
180
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:18,622
Did you find that helpful?
181
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,254
Yes. No, for example, three years ago
182
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,957
when I discovered
Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts,
183
00:10:24,207 --> 00:10:28,303
instead of getting angry or vindictive,
you know, I got a floor safe.
184
00:10:29,879 --> 00:10:31,381
I knew I could smell 'em.
185
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:35,640
- What about from when you were a kid?
- Oh, certainly.
186
00:10:36,052 --> 00:10:37,395
Uh, when I was eight years old,
187
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,765
Billy Sparks cornered me
in the playground.
188
00:10:40,056 --> 00:10:42,058
I asked myself, "What would Spock do?"
189
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:47,114
Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder
and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.
190
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,777
- Did it work?
- Oh, no, he broke my collarbone.
191
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:56,077
Yeah, I can still hear it click.
192
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,242
That must have been
very upsetting for you.
193
00:10:59,868 --> 00:11:01,586
Oh, not at all. As I said,
194
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:05,332
the entire point of emulating Spock
was to rise above human emotion,
195
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,542
which I've spent a lifetime mastering.
196
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:08,922
Oh. (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
197
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,548
- Excuse me?
- I'm sorry, I'm not here.
198
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:16,267
No, you went... (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
What does... (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Mean?
199
00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:19,270
- Uh...
- You did go... (BLOWS RASPBERRY)
200
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,431
Okay, fine.
201
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:24,901
Sheldon, I'm no expert, but aren't you
completely missing the point of Spock?
202
00:11:25,268 --> 00:11:28,192
He liked to act like he had no emotions,
but he was still half-human.
203
00:11:28,479 --> 00:11:29,605
Just like you.
204
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:32,446
I'm just saying, you pretend you don't,
205
00:11:32,650 --> 00:11:34,368
but you have feelings
just like everybody else.
206
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:36,662
Not true. No, look at me.
207
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:40,584
I had an engagement ring to give a girl,
and instead she rejected me.
208
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,040
And am I emotional about that? No.
209
00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:44,796
No, I am sitting here on a couch
210
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:47,465
talking about my favorite TV character
like nothing happened.
211
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:50,298
'Cause I am just like him.
All logical, all the time.
212
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,096
- Sweetie, you're yelling.
- Because when I speak at a regular volume
213
00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:56,300
no one seems to believe me that
I've put this Amy nonsense behind me.
214
00:11:59,135 --> 00:12:00,136
(DOOR SLAMS)
215
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:04,683
This documentary is gonna be awesome.
216
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,647
- You gonna be okay down here?
- Yeah.
217
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,316
I feel like an archeologist.
218
00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,159
Indiana Jones
and the Single Family Dwelling.
219
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:20,160
Hey. Look. Found a seashell.
220
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:22,875
- Yeah, that's a rat skull.
- Oh!
221
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:28,461
Relax, there's enough droppings down here
without you making more.
222
00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:32,336
Sorry. You have a sense of where we are?
223
00:12:32,919 --> 00:12:35,138
- Yeah, I think that's the den.
- Oh.
224
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,766
Okay. So we must be under the dining room.
225
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:41,686
Uh-huh. Yep. You know,
I know you don't wanna hear this,
226
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:45,603
but it wouldn't take that much work
to turn that den into a nursery.
227
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:50,316
- Oh, why wouldn't I wanna hear it?
- 'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids.
228
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:52,655
That's not true at all.
229
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:55,699
Well, I wish she'd get pregnant.
Believe me.
230
00:12:56,067 --> 00:12:58,946
I'm climbing on top of her
every chance I get.
231
00:12:59,654 --> 00:13:00,655
(EXHALES)
232
00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,871
In a loving and respectful manner.
233
00:13:04,242 --> 00:13:06,210
Oh. (CLEARS THROAT)
234
00:13:06,661 --> 00:13:10,211
The point is I really do want kids.
235
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:12,292
Huh.
236
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,753
I don't know why she's lying to you.
237
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:16,721
She's the one who doesn't want kids.
238
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,219
In fact, every time I bring up the subject
she's always...
239
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,759
Earthquake!
240
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,433
Oh, my God. We're gonna die.
241
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,392
Aftershock!
242
00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,447
I can't believe Sheldon was gonna ask
Amy to marry him.
243
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,648
I know.
244
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,910
I also can't believe he watched what
we did on that couch and still sits on it.
245
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,236
Yeah.
246
00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,495
- Hello.
- Hey, buddy, how you doing?
247
00:13:44,699 --> 00:13:45,700
Better.
248
00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,702
- Did Wil and Adam leave?
- Yeah.
249
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:51,419
Do you think they're going to
put my outburst in the documentary?
250
00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:52,878
- Oh, yeah.
- Definitely.
251
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,919
Well, there's no point dwelling on it.
252
00:13:57,462 --> 00:13:58,634
As the Vulcans say...
253
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,427
(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)
254
00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:05,429
- Do you know what that means?
- No.
255
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:06,934
Are you telling the truth?
256
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,598
(SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE)
257
00:14:10,224 --> 00:14:11,521
Well, this is ridiculous.
258
00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:14,772
Being upset about Amy all the time
isn't accomplishing anything.
259
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,948
If I wanna resolve this situation
then I need to take action.
260
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,901
- What are you gonna do?
- I'm going to find her
261
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,160
and ask her to marry me.
262
00:14:21,652 --> 00:14:24,997
And if she says yes we can put this
behind us and resume our relationship.
263
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:29,331
If she says no, well then she can just...
(SPEAKS OTHER LANGUAGE)
264
00:14:33,414 --> 00:14:34,631
He didn't mean that.
265
00:14:39,420 --> 00:14:42,799
So, I should probably explain
why I kinda fibbed.
266
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:48,896
That would be nice.
267
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,559
I told my dad that you were the one
who didn't want kids
268
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:54,277
because I didn't wanna disappoint him.
269
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,946
But you were okay
throwing me under the bus?
270
00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,440
Turns out, yeah,
I didn't think twice about it.
271
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,862
Bernie, you don't need to worry about me.
272
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,660
But I don't wanna see you miss out.
273
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:10,669
Raising children was the most
rewarding experience of my life.
274
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,286
Oh, please.
275
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,042
Mom did everything, all you did was
276
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,378
come home from work,
sit on the couch and drink beer.
277
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:18,214
How is that raising kids?
278
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:23,006
This is really a conversation
for husband and wife. (CHUCKLES)
279
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:25,432
I'm gonna go clean up, hit the road.
280
00:15:25,675 --> 00:15:27,848
If your mother asks,
I was here till 10:00.
281
00:15:30,638 --> 00:15:34,017
It's interesting.
Your father didn't help around the house
282
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:36,273
and Howard doesn't help either,
283
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,735
so in a way,
Howard's not only like your father
284
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,525
but he's also like the child
that you're afraid to have.
285
00:15:45,319 --> 00:15:46,821
Why are you still here?
286
00:15:49,991 --> 00:15:54,167
Fine, I'll leave. But it sounds like
somebody needs a fresh diaper.
287
00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:01,127
All right.
288
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:02,591
I admit...
289
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,930
That I don't help out a lot. (CHUCKLES)
290
00:16:05,465 --> 00:16:06,933
And I need to work on that.
291
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:10,307
But if we had a kid,
it would be different.
292
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:12,605
- Why?
- Because...
293
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:16,484
When my dad left,
I promised myself that...
294
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:20,693
If I ever had a chance to be a father...
295
00:16:22,023 --> 00:16:23,240
I'd always be there.
296
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,365
Okay, I'll think about it.
297
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,577
And this is an actual
"I'll think about it?"
298
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:32,580
Not like the "Can we get a motorcycle
with a sidecar?
299
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:33,868
"I'll think about it?"
300
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:41,089
- It's an actual "I'll think about it."
- And I really believe I'd be a great dad.
301
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,212
- I know you would.
- (CHUCKLES)
302
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:47,431
Speaking of making babies,
303
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,677
what do you say I wash up
and poke around your crawlspace?
304
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:03,064
(INAUDIBLE)
305
00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,471
Dr. Dehner feels he isn't that dangerous.
306
00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,555
What makes you right
and a trained psychiatrist wrong?
307
00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:32,309
Because she feels. I don't.
All I know is logic.
308
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:33,644
(SCOFFS) Yeah, right.
309
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,144
You can just shut your feelings off.
310
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,484
There goes television, lying to us again.
311
00:17:39,934 --> 00:17:42,528
We let you raise our children
and this is the thanks we get?
312
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,487
Leonard, how could I have been so foolish?
313
00:17:46,816 --> 00:17:50,821
To try and follow in the footsteps of a
made-up alien race with no emotions?
314
00:17:51,279 --> 00:17:52,747
(EXHALES) Well...
315
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,621
Now instead of idolizing
fictional characters,
316
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,544
you can focus on the real people
who are already in your life.
317
00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:03,875
- Those are very wise words.
- Thank you.
318
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:07,211
They'd just be so much more comforting
if they came out of a television.
319
00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:38,326
English - SDH
26428
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