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1
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:08,049
- This is an easy one. You love this guy.
- Me.
2
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,762
Come on.
He's an underappreciated genius...
3
00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:15,288
Still think it's me.
4
00:00:15,760 --> 00:00:19,560
It's not you. Now think.
There's a car named after him.
5
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,690
Of course there is.
The Mini Cooper, because it's me.
6
00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:27,289
How about this?
7
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:29,170
He's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.
8
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:30,560
Oh, Tesla.
9
00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:33,604
- Hi.
- Hey, how'd it go?
10
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,407
Not fun. The doctor shoved
a camera up into my sinuses.
11
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:41,360
Yeah, I watched. It was like
the scary boat tunnel in Willy Wonka.
12
00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:45,726
- They figure out what's wrong?
- It's a deviated septum.
13
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,247
The surgery is simple.
He's gonna do it next week.
14
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:50,165
Why would you have surgery?
15
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:51,850
Because I can't breathe.
16
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,480
And I snore, I get sinus infections...
17
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:56,961
Back off, he's all mine.
18
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,085
You don't have a life-threatening condition.
Why would you take the risk of surgery?
19
00:01:01,240 --> 00:01:05,040
Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.
I've heard you complain about his snoring.
20
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:08,886
Yes, for the first five or six years,
but I've gotten used to it.
21
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,890
It helps me sleep.
22
00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,520
He's like my mucus-powered
white-noise machine.
23
00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:18,090
Sheldon, I'm gonna get the surgery.
It's no big deal, end of story.
24
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,607
- Very well, I'm done talking about it.
- Thank you.
25
00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:23,161
- I believe it was your turn in the game.
- Okay.
26
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,800
Let's see. Oh, this person is most famous...
27
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:33,124
...for never having gotten his nose
mutilated with elective surgery...
28
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,607
...and never living his life in the shadows...
29
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,730
...as a hideous disfigured freak.
30
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,968
I think you could give a better clue.
31
00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:45,290
I don't. I'm not even sure
if that's a person or a typo.
32
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,967
[SNORING]
33
00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:27,562
Okay, why?
34
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,681
I'm listening to you snore.
35
00:02:30,840 --> 00:02:33,366
I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
36
00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,171
If it helps you sleep,
then why are you sitting here...
37
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,244
...staring at me like the albino boogeyman?
38
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,490
Really, Leonard, insults?
39
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,571
After I spent two hours in your closet
waiting for you to fall asleep?
40
00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:53,322
- What's your problem?
- If the surgery is successful...
41
00:02:53,520 --> 00:02:55,170
...the snoring is gone.
42
00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:57,567
And if you die during surgery...
43
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,928
...the snoring is gone.
44
00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,603
Sounds like either way
I finally get some rest.
45
00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,203
I have to be honest with you, Leonard.
I'm truly worried.
46
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,091
Okay, I told you,
there's nothing to worry about.
47
00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,165
I've been doing some research,
and I've learned that 1 in 700,000 people...
48
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,402
...die from general anesthesia.
49
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:25,964
Buddy, do you realize that also means
699,999 people don't die?
50
00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:28,646
I suppose that's true.
51
00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:33,809
You're such a glass half-full kind of guy.
52
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,207
I'm going to miss that.
53
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:43,329
Oh, so my parents' 40th anniversary
is coming up...
54
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,448
...and I can't think of a thing to get.
55
00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:50,482
Damn. Can you imagine being married
to someone for 40 years?
56
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,289
Not anymore.
57
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,043
Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
58
00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,209
What are some of the things they like?
59
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,683
They liked going to the Mumbai Symphony...
60
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,366
...but last year, my mom thought
they were phoning it in.
61
00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:13,042
Then my dad said, based on their love life,
she should know about phoning it in.
62
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:16,689
- He said that?
- They weren't speaking...
63
00:04:16,840 --> 00:04:18,604
...so he had a servant say it to her.
64
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,688
Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them.
65
00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:26,323
I know how much you guys love
the coasters I made for you.
66
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,929
They're yours in the divorce.
67
00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:36,325
Hey, what are you working on?
68
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,131
Remember when I said
if you went through with surgery...
69
00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,681
...there was a 1 in 700,000 chance of dying?
70
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:42,927
[SIGHS]
71
00:04:43,080 --> 00:04:45,845
- Yeah.
- Well, I've been crunching the numbers...
72
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,970
...and so far, I've gotten
your probability of death...
73
00:04:49,120 --> 00:04:53,045
...all the way to a sphincter-tightening
1 in 300.
74
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:59,001
Great timing.
My "check sphincter" light just went on.
75
00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:02,287
Leonard, what if you have
an allergic reaction...
76
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,489
- ...to the surgeon's latex gloves?
- I'm not allergic to latex.
77
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:08,764
Then why don't you wear the gloves
I bought to do the dishes?
78
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:12,242
For the same reason
I don't wear the apron or the hairnet.
79
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,160
Fine. What about epilepsy?
80
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,004
I don't have epilepsy either.
81
00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:19,401
No, you don't, but the surgeon might. Hm?
82
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,724
And your carotid artery
is just one shaky scalpel away...
83
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:26,447
...from becoming the dancing fountain
at Disneyland.
84
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,843
Sheldon, do you realize
that driving is riskier than surgery?
85
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,083
I do. I have the drive
to the hospital right here.
86
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:37,007
That is, if you make it to the car
without falling down the stairs.
87
00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,004
And don't expect me to carry you,
I do that enough in life.
88
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,289
Buddy, I get that you're worried about me,
and I appreciate that...
89
00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:46,090
...but I'm not going to die.
90
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,725
You don't know that.
91
00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,963
I do know that it won't be
from an asteroid strike.
92
00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:53,811
You know who else said that?
93
00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,806
Every cocky T. Rex currently swimming
around in the gas tank of your car.
94
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,010
If there was an asteroid strike,
wouldn't you die too?
95
00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,801
I don't know. I'm smart and scrappy.
I think I'd find a way.
96
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,049
Tell you what, the surgery's not for a week.
I'll think about it.
97
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,680
Thank you.
And while you're thinking about it...
98
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,844
...if you have the surgery in Nicaragua
during monsoon season...
99
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,729
...I can guarantee your death.
100
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:26,882
Yes. Okay.
101
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,929
I understand.
102
00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,890
Of course, yes. I'll call you tomorrow.
103
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:33,405
Bye.
104
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:36,890
So I found this fencing school in Burbank...
105
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,323
...that has a Jedi class.
106
00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:45,127
If you're cool being the only adults there,
they said they are.
107
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,970
Dude, my parents just split up.
108
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,771
- What?
- Uh, that was my dad on the phone.
109
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:52,524
He moved out.
110
00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,208
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
111
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:58,601
If you're not up to it,
we don't have to go out.
112
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,127
- We can just hang here.
- No, it's fine.
113
00:07:01,280 --> 00:07:04,762
It's not that big a deal.
As long as they're happy, I'm happy.
114
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,161
And when I get to see them
for the holidays...
115
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,682
...I get to celebrate Diwali twice,
one at each house.
116
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:15,607
That's double the Diwali.
117
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,643
- You sure you're okay?
- I'm okay.
118
00:07:18,800 --> 00:07:20,689
- You don't look okay.
- How can I be okay?
119
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,251
I come from a broken home.
120
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,206
Doctor said I should be out of surgery by 10.
121
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:33,924
Okay. And Sheldon really believes
we're at a public swimming pool?
122
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:37,649
He was so busy figuring out
how many parts per million of urine...
123
00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,009
...we'd be floating around in,
he didn't even question it.
124
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:44,290
Eighteen parts per million.
125
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,881
And he's still doing it.
126
00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,527
Don't worry about it.
I'm happy to take you to work.
127
00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:51,966
Well, thank you.
128
00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:55,488
And Leonard never lets me
have French toast sticks in the car.
129
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:57,608
I can't have syrupy fingers...
130
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,242
...but he can do the backstroke
in a toilet bowl.
131
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,050
It's nice they're getting exercise.
132
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:07,761
Although, now that I think about it...
133
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:12,090
...Leonard would never go swimming
in public without his swim shirt.
134
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,682
- I'm sure he brought it.
- No, but last year at Magic Mountain...
135
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,765
...he got such a bad sunburn,
we had to cut him out of it.
136
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:24,247
He probably got a new one.
Finish your breakfast.
137
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:28,684
There's an entire section of my dashboard
that doesn't have any syrup on it.
138
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,728
You're acting odd. Why?
139
00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,768
I'm odd all the time, everyone knows that.
140
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:39,241
Just last night I tried to see how many
fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
141
00:08:40,880 --> 00:08:43,087
- Tell me the truth.
- Twenty-eight.
142
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,448
- Come on.
- Fifty-six.
143
00:08:47,600 --> 00:08:51,161
Amy. What's going on?
144
00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:52,765
All right.
145
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,601
Don't get upset...
146
00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,326
...but an earlier appointment
opened up for Leonard...
147
00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:01,006
...and he's getting the surgery right now.
148
00:09:04,920 --> 00:09:06,604
I see.
149
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,606
Take me to Leonard.
150
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,322
- Just go to work. He'll be fine.
- Amy, he's my best friend.
151
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:20,006
And if you don't take me,
I'm going there anyway.
152
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,803
Fine.
153
00:09:23,280 --> 00:09:27,126
- It's sweet that you care about him so much.
- I do.
154
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,931
I couldn't forgive myself
if something happened to him...
155
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:33,050
...and I wasn't at his bedside to say,
"I told you so."
156
00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,050
[WOMAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY OVER PA]
157
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,731
- Hello.
- We had a really nice swim.
158
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:50,961
Oh, stop it.
159
00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,563
I assume this medical center's
treated the burns on your bottom...
160
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,041
...from the recent pants fire.
161
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,762
- Because I'm a liar, liar?
- That's for the fire marshal to determine.
162
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,771
- You had to tell him?
- He wore me down.
163
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:11,885
And I was distracted.
He has on extra baby powder today.
164
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,247
- Is he okay?
- He's still in surgery.
165
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:16,606
[SHELDON SIGHS]
166
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,691
- Very well.
- He's gonna be all right.
167
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,127
That is sticky.
168
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:27,885
Let's talk about something
other than the surgery.
169
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:31,203
That's a good idea.
Penny, did you and Leonard...
170
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,607
...ever discuss funeral arrangements?
171
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,806
I think she meant something a little happier.
172
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:42,248
I suppose we can try
to make it a celebration...
173
00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,368
...but he died so young.
174
00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:48,327
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
175
00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,891
- Knock, knock.
- Hi.
176
00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:55,211
- Hey, what brings you guys by?
- Oh, muffin much.
177
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:59,041
Told you, not funny.
178
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:04,730
Well, he's just not laughing
because he's feeling blueberry.
179
00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,203
Tough crowd.
180
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,846
- I'm sorry. This is very sweet, thanks.
- So how you doing?
181
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,447
Better. I guess the news just hit me
a lot harder than I expected.
182
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,366
Well, of course. I would be devastated
if my parents split up.
183
00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,683
Why? Your father barely speaks
to your mother. Heh.
184
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,969
Well, at least he stuck around.
Not like your dad, who just took off.
185
00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,091
As you can see, we're here to cheer you up.
186
00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:35,643
Sorry, Raj. Do you have any sense
of what happened with your folks?
187
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,643
I think over time,
they started to resent each other.
188
00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,844
Instead of talking about things,
they kept it bottled up...
189
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,162
...and the hate just grew.
190
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,369
It's a shame they spent
all that time unhappy...
191
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:53,487
...but sometimes,
there's muffin you can do about it.
192
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,485
You get it, right?
193
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,649
Well, it's nice you got him that.
194
00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:04,370
Oh, this isn't for Leonard. No.
195
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,727
Amy bought it for me.
196
00:12:09,280 --> 00:12:12,204
He stubbed his toe on the revolving door
on the way in.
197
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,960
You know those confounded things
make me dizzy.
198
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,124
Who told you to keep going around?
199
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,807
There was a large plant in the lobby.
It kept looking like the outside.
200
00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:25,562
When Leonard comes out,
he's not gonna feel great...
201
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,728
...so please don't give him a hard time.
202
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,564
Penny has a good point.
203
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,929
This is like the man in the supermarket
with the goiter on his neck.
204
00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:36,163
Whatever you're thinking,
just keep it to yourself.
205
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,685
It was like a grapefruit.
206
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,371
And I'm sure he knew that...
207
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:44,569
...before you held a grapefruit up next to it.
208
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,650
Well, I'm not making any promises.
209
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,485
Not only did Leonard take
what I feel is an unnecessary risk...
210
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,881
- ...he deceived me.
- The reason he deceived you...
211
00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:55,641
- ...is you were a pain in the ass.
- The reason I was being a pain in the B...
212
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,201
...is because I was worried
and no one else was.
213
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:02,126
- Really? You won't even say A?
- You bet your sweet B I won't.
214
00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:06,167
Obviously I care about Leonard.
I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with him.
215
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:07,890
And I'm not?
216
00:13:08,880 --> 00:13:10,803
[RUMBLING]
217
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:15,410
- It's an earthquake. I knew it.
- Sheldon, it was just a little tremor.
218
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,080
A little tremor that turns
routine sinus surgery...
219
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,766
...into a frontal lobotomy.
220
00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:25,928
Oh, I don't care for this at all.
221
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,083
I need to see he's okay.
222
00:13:28,760 --> 00:13:31,206
- Sheldon, you can't go back there.
SHELDON: Try and stop me.
223
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:32,691
[THUDS]
224
00:13:34,240 --> 00:13:38,040
AMY: Are you okay?
SHELDON: Why didn't you stop me?
225
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,651
Can I tell you something?
226
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,929
This whole thing with Raj's parents...
227
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,560
...just got me a little worried about us.
228
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:50,081
What are you talking about? We're fine.
229
00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,131
And Raj's parents probably split up
because of Raj.
230
00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:55,807
What?
231
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:58,691
They always say the children
aren't to blame, but...
232
00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:00,968
Heh, come on.
233
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,484
I'm not joking, Howie.
You heard what he said about his parents.
234
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:09,881
It was the little things they kept bottled up.
235
00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,042
I don't want that to happen to us.
236
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,244
How can I convince you it won't?
237
00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:17,802
Well, is there anything about me
you're keeping inside?
238
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,527
Heh. I'm not answering that. It's a trap.
239
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,284
So there are things you don't like.
240
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:29,043
And here I am in the trap.
241
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:34,847
You just keep talking,
I'm gonna chew my leg off.
242
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:38,963
Just tell me one thing that bothers you
and I promise I won't get mad.
243
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,927
Okay. The truth is...
244
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,642
...sometimes you're too beautiful.
245
00:14:48,760 --> 00:14:50,285
Howie, be serious.
246
00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:52,165
Okay, okay.
247
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:57,042
I really don't like how your wings
poke me when we sleep...
248
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,362
...because you're an angel.
249
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:04,285
Okay, fine. Maybe it was a bad idea.
250
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:08,650
I just don't think the secret to a happy marriage
is to criticize each other.
251
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,970
Although, there are ways
to improve our communication.
252
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,010
One thing I learned
when I was in couples therapy was...
253
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,243
- Who were you in couples therapy with?
- Not important.
254
00:15:20,680 --> 00:15:23,081
- Was it your mom?
- Not important.
255
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,729
It was your mom.
256
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,042
Anyway, the therapist
had us tell each other...
257
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:31,601
...what we loved about one another.
258
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:35,011
Oh, that's so sweet. I wanna do that.
259
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,009
Okay.
260
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,330
Okay. Um, I love that you make me laugh.
261
00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:42,960
Thank you.
262
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:47,967
And I love that you're strong
and independent.
263
00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,044
And yet, I still love
when you hold a door for me.
264
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,363
I love that I'm kind of a slob around here...
265
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,729
...and, heh-heh, you're okay with that.
266
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:02,969
Uh-huh.
267
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:08,649
And I love that I work and do all the cleaning
and you're okay with that.
268
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:13,006
See, I am. Isn't this great?
269
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,370
Come on, smile.
This is gonna be my Christmas card.
270
00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,200
[IN NASALLY VOICE]
You know, this is all your fault.
271
00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,406
[IN NASALLY VOICE]
How is it my fault?
272
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:33,289
I told you not to get the surgery.
273
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,282
Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success.
274
00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,169
Secondly, I didn't want you there.
275
00:16:40,640 --> 00:16:44,804
Wow. I don't know which hurts worse,
my nose or my heart.
276
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:47,810
I'm done speaking to you.
277
00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:50,440
Don't be like that.
You two need to talk this out.
278
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,887
Yeah, because you sound really funny.
279
00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,371
[PENNY LAUGHING]
280
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,126
I'm sorry I didn't tell you
about the surgery...
281
00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,169
...but you were worried about nothing.
282
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,049
Oh, you're hardly out of the woods.
283
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,409
You still run the risk of infection,
a blood clot...
284
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:10,248
...the possibility that an inattentive surgeon
let a barn spider lay eggs in your nose.
285
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:15,530
The minute you sneeze web,
I'm moving out.
286
00:17:15,920 --> 00:17:20,448
I never thought I'd say these words,
but come on, nose spider!
287
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,166
You were so panicked
Leonard was gonna die...
288
00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:27,449
- ...you'll never leave him.
- Sheldon will move out eventually.
289
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,682
Yeah, once he figures out
how to work a door.
290
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:35,002
I was not panicked.
And I am not overly attached to Leonard.
291
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:38,050
You were so worried that you smashed
your face trying to check on me.
292
00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,846
You love me.
293
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:45,685
Tell me those aren't the words
of a man with a spider eating his brain.
294
00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:48,450
Amy, you're a neuroscientist.
295
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,046
Crack his skull open,
spray some Raid in there.
296
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:56,128
I love that you take pride in your looks.
297
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,130
Even when I have to pee...
298
00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:01,329
...and you're in there
spending an hour on your hair.
299
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:05,761
I love that you're too good to pee
in the kitchen sink.
300
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,889
I love that you have
the confidence to speak...
301
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,930
...even without giving it
an ounce of thought.
302
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,602
I love how your hair
is always on the soap.
303
00:18:15,760 --> 00:18:18,525
It's like washing myself with a hamster.
304
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:20,161
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
305
00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:23,722
Hey, guys. Sorry I am so late.
306
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,087
I was on the phone with my mother.
307
00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:28,049
- How is she?
- Pretty good.
308
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,248
She bought the book Eat, Pray, Love...
309
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:33,449
...and used it to set
my father's Mercedes on fire.
310
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:38,809
So, what's up with you guys?
311
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:41,686
We're just saying all the things
we love about each other.
312
00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,320
Oh, like you and I did at couples therapy.
313
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,043
- What'd you get?
- Oh, I ordered it before your surgery.
314
00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,524
It's the urn I was going to put you in.
315
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,401
Okay, that's morbid. Send it back.
316
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:08,451
I can't send it back. I had it engraved.
317
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:12,170
"Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter.
318
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:16,405
He thought he was right,
but his roommate knew better."
319
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:18,561
[LEONARD CHUCKLES]
320
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,969
That's funny.
Boy, I'm gonna miss these painkillers.
321
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,484
Hey, why did you get two?
322
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:28,527
- "I'm with stupid."
- Oh, that one's mine.
323
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,922
[English - US - SDH]
26631
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