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1
00:00:03,336 --> 00:00:05,587
I got to tell you, the more
I read about the primordial
2
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:08,507
gravity wave discovery,
the more excited I get.
3
00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,467
I know. Being an
astrophysicist right now
4
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:11,760
is like being a rock star.
5
00:00:11,928 --> 00:00:13,554
Only without the sex.
6
00:00:15,098 --> 00:00:16,932
Yeah, literally, none of it.
7
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:20,041
What do you think about it, Sheldon?
8
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,645
Meh.
9
00:00:21,813 --> 00:00:23,647
Are you kidding me?
10
00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:25,858
This may be the biggest
scientific breakthrough
11
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:27,109
of our lifetime.
12
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:30,612
How can you, as a theoretical
physicist, not care about this?
13
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:32,740
Maybe it's because
I'm not an elitist.
14
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,116
What I'd like to know is:
15
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,160
How does this gravity wave
breakthrough
16
00:00:36,327 --> 00:00:37,953
help the man on the street?
You know?
17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,872
Who's looking out
for Joe Six-Pack
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,416
and all his quantum physics concerns?
19
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:45,210
Oh, my God, you're jealous.
20
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,296
Why would I be jealous?
21
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,757
I don't know. Maybe because
the origin of the universe
22
00:00:49,924 --> 00:00:52,593
just got proven,
the Higgs field just got proven
23
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,387
and you've been working on
string theory for the last 20 years
24
00:00:55,555 --> 00:00:58,015
and you're no closer to proving
it than when you started.
25
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,934
Yeah, well, I've had a lot
on my plate.
26
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,772
We happen to live in
a golden age of television.
27
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,400
- Excuse me, fellas.
- (GROANS)
28
00:01:08,568 --> 00:01:10,409
Sorry for eavesdropping,
but there actually was
29
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,530
some big string theory news today
out of the Hadron Collider.
30
00:01:13,698 --> 00:01:15,991
Really?
Did they find evidence to support
31
00:01:16,159 --> 00:01:17,910
extra dimensions
or supersymmetry?
32
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,914
No, but they did find evidence
that you'll believe anything.
33
00:01:23,833 --> 00:01:25,167
Why would you do that?
34
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,294
You're a string theorist as well.
35
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:30,214
Incorrect.
I am a string pragmatist.
36
00:01:30,381 --> 00:01:32,716
I say I'm gonna prove something
that cannot be proved,
37
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,176
I apply for grant money,
38
00:01:34,344 --> 00:01:36,553
and then I spend it
on liquor and broads.
39
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:39,556
Later.
40
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:43,727
Do you think he's right?
41
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:48,023
Am I wasting my life on a theory
that can never be proven?
42
00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:54,530
Maybe. But how great
is Game of Thrones?
43
00:01:55,031 --> 00:01:56,573
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYS)
44
00:02:21,057 --> 00:02:22,891
Hey, you're up early.
45
00:02:23,059 --> 00:02:25,102
I couldn't sleep.
46
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:29,189
I told you those Walking Dead
pillowcases were a bad idea.
47
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,233
No, that's not it.
48
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:32,901
Is something bothering you?
49
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,863
Yes, but you wouldn't understand.
50
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:38,157
Come on, try me.
51
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,118
All right.
52
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:45,747
I've devoted the prime
of my life to string theory
53
00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:49,751
and its quest for the
compactification of extra dimensions.
54
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:53,088
I've got nothing to show for it,
and I feel like a fool.
55
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,008
OK. I get it.
56
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,343
I mean, not all the jibber-jabber
in the middle, but...
57
00:03:00,221 --> 00:03:02,264
...I know what it's like to put your
heart and soul into something
58
00:03:02,432 --> 00:03:03,932
and get nothing out of it.
59
00:03:04,601 --> 00:03:06,101
You mean your acting career?
60
00:03:08,229 --> 00:03:10,939
- No.
- Your relationship with Leonard?
61
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,483
No.
62
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:15,068
Your failed attempt
to go back to college?
63
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,695
No!
64
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:20,032
I'm saying you and string theory
sound like a relationship,
65
00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:21,325
and I know what it's like
to be in one
66
00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,785
and realize it's never gonna
turn out the way you want.
67
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,955
I said Leonard, you said no.
68
00:03:28,082 --> 00:03:30,042
I'm talking about other guys.
69
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,087
OK. Well, what do you do?
70
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:36,715
You have to have the courage
to end the relationship.
71
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,718
You know? Break it off,
shake hands, walk away.
72
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,722
I don't know if I can do that.
73
00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:46,308
I know it's hard, honey,
but in the end, that's how you grow.
74
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,685
(BLOWING NOSE)
75
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,357
Penny, have you seen
my good inhaler?
76
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:58,612
Break it off,
shake hands, walk away.
77
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,370
Hey, how's dating two women going?
78
00:04:06,537 --> 00:04:08,664
Um, kind of hit a bump.
79
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,624
When I was honest and told Emily
80
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:13,043
she wasn't the only person
I was seeing, it went great.
81
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,836
So I tried the same thing with Lucy.
82
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:19,216
- And?
- She had mixed feelings.
83
00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,677
But when I said,
"Emily was cool with it.
84
00:04:21,844 --> 00:04:24,005
Emily's the best. Why can't you
be more like Emily?"...
85
00:04:26,057 --> 00:04:29,101
...those feelings
became less mixed.
86
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,189
Women. Who knows what'll set 'em off?
87
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,110
At least now I can focus all
my energies on just one girl.
88
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,112
I hope I get to meet her
as soon as possible.
89
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,905
Why the rush?
She isn't going anywhere.
90
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:44,366
She is. But I like that attitude.
91
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:50,080
Gentlemen, is anybody interested
in my old string theory books?
92
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,873
You're really going to do this?
93
00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:54,084
I am. Yeah, Penny pointed out
94
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,962
that what I'm going through
is essentially a breakup.
95
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,881
And according
to Cosmopolitan magazine,
96
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,217
one of the most effective
techniques for moving on
97
00:05:02,385 --> 00:05:04,970
is to get rid of all reminders
of the relationship.
98
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,431
- You're reading Cosmo?
- Yes.
99
00:05:07,598 --> 00:05:09,474
As it turns out, there's an article
100
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:12,519
on how to get over a breakup
in literally every issue.
101
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,898
Anyway, it suggests
that I set these on fire,
102
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:19,109
but the smell of burning books
103
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:22,112
reminds me of church picnics
in East Texas.
104
00:05:24,073 --> 00:05:25,657
What's this?
105
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:29,494
That's just a doodle of
a hyperelliptic Riemann surface.
106
00:05:29,662 --> 00:05:32,581
Oh, yeah. Wasn't that the basis
of your postdoc fellowship?
107
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:34,082
It was.
108
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,710
This seemed so elegant
at the time,
109
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:40,047
but now I realize I was just
a simple country boy,
110
00:05:40,214 --> 00:05:42,716
seduced by a big city theory
111
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:45,218
with variables
in all the right places.
112
00:05:47,096 --> 00:05:49,139
- It's going to be OK.
- I know.
113
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,350
As hard as this is,
I have to move on.
114
00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,227
I can't keep postulating
multidimensional entities
115
00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:56,063
and get nothing in return.
116
00:05:56,230 --> 00:05:59,024
I have needs, too.
117
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,157
So, you and Emily
still together?
118
00:06:12,997 --> 00:06:15,207
I spoke to Bernadette.
She's free tomorrow night.
119
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,458
OK, great.
120
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,960
But if we're really gonna do
a double date,
121
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:21,296
then we have to go over
some ground rules about Emily.
122
00:06:21,464 --> 00:06:23,548
Like when it turns out
she's made of rubber,
123
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,050
I don't say anything?
124
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:28,553
She's very real.
125
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:30,847
That's what it says on the box.
126
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,060
Right next to "dishwasher safe."
127
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,355
See? This is exactly
the kind of thing
128
00:06:38,523 --> 00:06:40,315
I'm worried about you
saying in front of her.
129
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,442
I promise I'll be
on my best behavior.
130
00:06:42,610 --> 00:06:46,154
You better be. No jokes about
how close I am with my dog.
131
00:06:46,322 --> 00:06:49,783
Or the truth about how close
I am with my dog.
132
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:51,326
You got it.
133
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,161
No jokes about
the year I took ballet.
134
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,913
You took ballet?
135
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:57,916
God, you never listen.
136
00:07:01,170 --> 00:07:02,879
Are you sure you
want to do this?
137
00:07:03,047 --> 00:07:05,507
The magazine articles suggest
that one of the ways
138
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,968
to get over a breakup
is a new look.
139
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:12,055
What about your old look,
well-groomed ventriloquist doll?
140
00:07:14,350 --> 00:07:16,977
- "Oh, my God, I do look like that."
- Stop it!
141
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,648
So, how do you want me
to cut it?
142
00:07:21,816 --> 00:07:25,944
How about Bill Gates
meets Nikola Tesla?
143
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:30,031
So, business in the front,
science in the back.
144
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:33,577
Or I don't cut it and
maybe just style it a little.
145
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,120
I'm in your hands.
146
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:38,623
Do a good job and I'll tell you
Cosmo's ten dynamite tips
147
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,709
to enjoy your PMS.
148
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,086
Can you keep him quiet?
149
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:44,546
Maybe jangle some keys
in front of him?
150
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:45,922
That doesn't work anymore.
151
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:48,341
He just thinks I'm taking him
to the doctor.
152
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,721
So, now that you're
no longer invested in string theory,
153
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,306
what are you gonna pursue?
154
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,391
There are so
many exciting areas:
155
00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,186
black holes, dark matter...
156
00:07:59,353 --> 00:08:01,021
Leonard was telling me
about dark matter,
157
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,550
but I didn't really understand it.
158
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:05,192
Don't feel bad.
Neither does he.
159
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,072
OK...
160
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:13,492
...what do you think?
161
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:17,746
Have you ever even seen
a picture of Tesla?
162
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,582
It actually looks good, Sheldon.
163
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,626
- Doesn't it?
- Yeah.
164
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:26,755
I suppose I could see myself
in a scientific boy band.
165
00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:30,217
Of course, I'd be the dreamy one
and the smart one.
166
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:33,470
Sorry I'm late.
167
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,474
- What did you do?
- I gave him a new look.
168
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:41,269
- It's cute, huh?
- Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem.
169
00:08:41,437 --> 00:08:43,605
I don't need other girls
to see him walking around
170
00:08:43,773 --> 00:08:45,398
like sex on a stick.
171
00:08:47,985 --> 00:08:50,028
She's right. I'm too hot.
172
00:08:54,951 --> 00:08:56,618
I'm excited to meet Emily.
173
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,621
Me, too. I just hope
he doesn't blow it.
174
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:01,122
Why would you say that?
175
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:05,085
Because he's Raj.
That's his thing.
176
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,255
Beckham can bend it,
Ralph can wreck it, Raj can blow it.
177
00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:11,633
Look, I don't want it to happen,
178
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,177
but odds are he's gonna
find a way to...
179
00:09:15,304 --> 00:09:17,138
Oh, crap, I know that girl.
180
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:20,642
- How?
- In a bad way, very bad.
181
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:21,935
Hey, guys.
182
00:09:22,103 --> 00:09:23,603
Whatever you hear tonight,
just remember I love you.
183
00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:24,896
Hey!
184
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:32,654
Emily, these are my good
friends, Howard and Bernadette.
185
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,781
- Guys, this is Emily.
- Nice to meet you.
186
00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,157
- Hi.
- Hello.
187
00:09:36,325 --> 00:09:37,951
Have we met before?
188
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,496
No.
189
00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,666
I don't...
I don't... think so.
190
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,293
You sure? You look familiar.
191
00:09:46,460 --> 00:09:48,670
Well, you sure don't.
192
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:51,381
You I know, you I know, you?
193
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:53,550
Total stranger.
194
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,762
Even if you had yummy candy,
I would not get in your van.
195
00:09:58,806 --> 00:10:00,724
Did you go to that spin class
on Green Street?
196
00:10:00,891 --> 00:10:02,601
That must be it.
197
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:05,020
Since when do you go to spin class?
198
00:10:05,354 --> 00:10:07,272
Wow. Now who doesn't listen?
199
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:12,611
Sheldon, your food's getting cold.
What are you doing?
200
00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:16,781
Looking through my textbooks
for a new field of inquiry.
201
00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:19,784
Why do we have a geology book?
202
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,079
Leonard, did you throw
a children's party
203
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,623
while I was in Texas?
204
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,500
Wait. What's wrong with geology?
205
00:10:27,668 --> 00:10:30,211
Let me put this in a way
you'll understand, Penny.
206
00:10:30,379 --> 00:10:32,088
You remember
how you explained to me
207
00:10:32,256 --> 00:10:34,299
that the Kardashians
aren't real celebrities?
208
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:38,219
Well, geology
is the Kardashians of science.
209
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:43,224
Have you considered
studying standard model physics?
210
00:10:43,392 --> 00:10:45,226
You want me
to give up string theory
211
00:10:45,394 --> 00:10:47,312
for something
that's less advanced?
212
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:48,688
You know, why don't you break up
with Penny
213
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,982
and start dating a brown bear.
214
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:55,487
Like you could get a brown bear.
215
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,197
Hey, I've got a good job.
216
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:59,199
I could buy salmon.
You don't know.
217
00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,577
Maybe you could make
your new field of study
218
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,425
the calculation
of nuclear matrix elements.
219
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:05,622
Oh, please.
220
00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:09,042
If I wanted to take up a fad,
I'd get a tramp stamp.
221
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:14,756
What about loop quantum gravity?
222
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,716
Oh, Duchess, look at me!
223
00:11:16,884 --> 00:11:19,803
My quantum gravity's
positively loopy!
224
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:22,972
Who's the duchess?
225
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,933
One of the people
that lives in his head.
226
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:29,062
I hope he's this distraught
if he ever breaks up with me.
227
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,856
Well, if he does, I'll see
if my bear has a friend.
228
00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:37,045
Sheldon, have you ever considered
not rushing into something new?
229
00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:39,656
I mean, why don't you
take your time, enjoy your freedom?
230
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,867
Maybe something new
to study will find you.
231
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,037
That's actually not bad advice.
232
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:48,665
You know, I didn't seek out
string theory.
233
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:51,251
It just hit me
over the head one day.
234
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,544
How does that happen?
235
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:54,963
A bully chased me through
the school library
236
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:57,882
and hit me over the head with
the biggest book he could find.
237
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,845
OK, how about we toast
your newfound freedom?
238
00:12:03,013 --> 00:12:05,223
Normally I refrain from alcohol,
239
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:08,435
but since my cerebral cortex is
twiddling its proverbial thumbs,
240
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:10,311
why not soak it in grape juice
241
00:12:10,479 --> 00:12:12,772
that's been predigested
by a fungus?
242
00:12:14,191 --> 00:12:16,943
And you wonder why other
children beat you with books.
243
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:18,319
Cheers!
244
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:23,032
Emily, what do you do?
245
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,493
I'm a dermatology resident
at Huntington Hospital.
246
00:12:25,661 --> 00:12:27,370
And you know what that means.
247
00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:31,124
Someone's skin's about
to be softer than ever.
248
00:12:32,418 --> 00:12:35,462
This is making me crazy.
I know I know you from somewhere.
249
00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:38,798
Howard was an astronaut.
Maybe that's where you saw him.
250
00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:42,260
Wow, that's amazing.
What was that like?
251
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:45,221
It was the most incredible
experience of my life.
252
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,099
Up there
in the space station, you're...
253
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,226
Oh, my God, I remember.
254
00:12:51,187 --> 00:12:53,313
Can I finish my astronaut story?
255
00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,773
It was four years ago.
256
00:12:54,940 --> 00:12:56,858
- Please don't say it.
- We were set up on a blind date.
257
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,693
- Please don't say it.
- You came to my apartment.
258
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:00,820
You're saying it.
259
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,489
Well, what happened?
260
00:13:02,656 --> 00:13:04,491
- Yeah, what happened?
- OK, I'll say it.
261
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:09,037
(CLEARS THROAT)
I was on the way to pick her up.
262
00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:11,206
My stomach felt a little funny.
263
00:13:11,373 --> 00:13:14,459
When I got there, I asked
if I could use her bathroom.
264
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,461
Please don't say it.
265
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:21,508
One roll of toilet paper
and 20 minutes later,
266
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:24,010
I was so humiliated,
267
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:26,888
I snuck out the window
and never saw her again.
268
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,515
You know what else
I never saw again:
269
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:30,725
my security deposit.
270
00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:32,435
I'm sorry.
271
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:35,563
I tried to unclog it,
but you didn't have a plunger,
272
00:13:35,731 --> 00:13:37,232
and water was
spilling out everywhere.
273
00:13:37,399 --> 00:13:39,025
Right, just water.
274
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,404
Look, I have felt terrible
about this for years,
275
00:13:43,572 --> 00:13:47,575
and I'm glad I have the opportunity
to tell you just how sorry I am.
276
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,744
It's fine.
277
00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,412
All my friends love this story.
278
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,706
They call you Clogzilla.
279
00:13:54,750 --> 00:13:57,210
Get it? Because you
clogged up her bathroom
280
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,963
like a radioactive monster!
281
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,507
- Yeah, yeah, I get it.
- Howie.
282
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,260
Well, hey, it's not like
cotton candy comes out of you.
283
00:14:08,138 --> 00:14:10,431
Come on, let's get you to bed.
You've had a lot to drink.
284
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:12,016
No more than Penny.
285
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,060
That's what I'm saying.
286
00:14:14,186 --> 00:14:17,397
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
287
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:23,736
Empty room.
288
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:26,114
If somebody says "Come in,"
I'm gonna freak out.
289
00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,747
So, Emily, why did you decide
to specialize in dermatology?
290
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,916
I like cutting people with knives,
291
00:14:37,084 --> 00:14:40,628
and all the other jobs where
you get to do that are illegal.
292
00:14:42,298 --> 00:14:44,382
You're kidding, right?
293
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:45,925
(CHUCKLING)
294
00:14:47,636 --> 00:14:50,638
She's scary,
but it's a cute scary.
295
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,807
Can I say just one more thing?
296
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,602
I had some kind
of food poisoning that day.
297
00:14:55,769 --> 00:14:58,438
Sure, in retrospect,
gas station sushi...
298
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,981
maybe not the best choice.
299
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:02,984
Nor was climbing out
your window and running away.
300
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,820
But I think we can all understand
how humiliating that was,
301
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:07,322
and I'd really appreciate it
if we could move on.
302
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,324
Howie, we moved on
a long time ago.
303
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,784
- I'm just saying...
- We moved on.
304
00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,955
OK. Fine.
305
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,960
- How's your soup?
- It's all right.
306
00:15:21,128 --> 00:15:22,962
They could've filled
the bowl a little more.
307
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:24,464
(STIFLING LAUGHTER)
308
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,510
- Excuse me.
- Where are you going?
309
00:15:29,678 --> 00:15:32,639
- I need some fresh air.
- Been there.
310
00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:55,620
Oh, no.
311
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,872
What have I done?
312
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:24,857
How you feeling?
313
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,150
Not so good.
314
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:31,030
Are you gonna introduce me
to your friend?
315
00:16:32,449 --> 00:16:34,075
It's not my friend.
316
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,244
Nothing happened.
317
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,832
I don't know, I heard you reading
pretty loud last night.
318
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:44,585
Oh, dear Lord.
319
00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:45,795
Where's Amy?
320
00:16:45,963 --> 00:16:47,964
After she put you to bed,
she went home.
321
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,090
Oh.
322
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:53,302
I should call her and apologize.
323
00:16:56,140 --> 00:16:58,182
- Oh, no.
- What?
324
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,186
Apparently, I called
Stephen Hawking last night.
325
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,439
FEMALE VOICE:
First new message.
326
00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,399
SHELDON: Hawkman!
327
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:12,822
It's your old buddy
Sheldonoscopy!
328
00:17:12,948 --> 00:17:15,283
How come you didn't
pick up the phone?
329
00:17:15,451 --> 00:17:17,994
Oh, right. My bad.
330
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,917
You're awful quiet.
Everything OK?
331
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,462
Not really.
332
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:30,715
I had a bit
of an embarrassing evening.
333
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,134
Me, too. What happened?
334
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:35,136
I drank alcohol
335
00:17:35,304 --> 00:17:40,099
and may have left an unfortunate
voice mail for Stephen Hawking.
336
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:42,560
I wouldn't worry about it.
337
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,687
He's got a pretty good
sense of humor.
338
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,523
I hope so.
339
00:17:47,691 --> 00:17:49,692
What happened to you last night?
340
00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:51,694
Well, turns out
341
00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:54,489
I'd already met the girl
Raj is seeing
342
00:17:54,656 --> 00:17:58,284
when I did a number
on her bathroom.
343
00:18:01,413 --> 00:18:03,289
And that number was two.
344
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,711
Well, you know,
I've always been a fan
345
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:11,714
of a story told
by Attar of Nishapur,
346
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,802
about a king,
who assembled a group of wise men
347
00:18:15,969 --> 00:18:19,639
to create a ring that would
make him happy when he was sad.
348
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:23,142
And that ring was inscribed
with the phrase,
349
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:25,394
"This, too, shall pass."
350
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:29,565
- Hey, Cooper!
- Oh, my God.
351
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:33,236
I heard you drunk-dialed
Stephen Hawking last night?
352
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,071
Classic!
353
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,364
Get out of here, Barry.
354
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,366
Whatever you say...
355
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,868
...Clogzilla.
356
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,124
Clogzilla. That's pretty funny.
357
00:18:48,252 --> 00:18:50,545
I don't think that's gonna pass.
358
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,926
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
359
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,803
SHELDON: It's me again!
360
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,097
I gave up string theory.
361
00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,015
You should give up black holes,
362
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:07,395
and we can totally
solve crimes together!
363
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,188
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
364
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:10,815
SHELDON: Do you know what's great?!
365
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,942
Geology.
366
00:19:13,068 --> 00:19:14,193
Woo!
367
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:17,071
Look at this geode!
368
00:19:17,239 --> 00:19:19,365
That's fun to say!
369
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,786
Gee... ode! Gee... ode!
370
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,454
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
371
00:19:25,622 --> 00:19:27,623
SHELDON: Gee... ode!
372
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,585
Gee... ode!
373
00:19:30,752 --> 00:19:32,962
I kiss girls now.
374
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:36,424
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
375
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:39,552
SHELDON: Hey, guess who I am!
Beep, bop, boop, bop!
376
00:19:39,636 --> 00:19:41,929
I'm you! Get it?!
377
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,016
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
378
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,144
Are you mad at me?
379
00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:51,147
Oh, no, you're mad at me.
380
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,357
I'm so sorry!
381
00:19:53,942 --> 00:19:55,151
Beep, bop, boop, bop!
382
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,112
FEMALE VOICE: Next message.
383
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:03,117
SHELDON: Thiospinel sulfide.
Thiospinel sulfide.
384
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:06,621
That's even more fun
than gee... ode.
385
00:20:07,664 --> 00:20:09,874
Hey, did you see The LEGO Movie?
386
00:20:13,462 --> 00:20:15,922
COMPUTERIZED VOICE:
What a jackass.
387
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,989
(English US - SDH)
28929
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