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1
00:00:03,586 --> 00:00:06,255
MAN (OVER COMPUTER): In the lead,
the left-side competitor.
2
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,842
Wow, you're really good at this.
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:12,302
Well, I have an extremely
low center of gravity.
4
00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,763
I'm like a pyramid.
5
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,394
How you doing over there?
6
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,604
Oh, I hope it's just a sprain.
7
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:25,691
I cannot walk into that ER
8
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:27,526
with another video game injury.
9
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,447
Hey, Sheldon,
you want to play next?
10
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:34,033
Oh, I would,
but I'm on my way out.
11
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,701
- Where?
- Texas.
12
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:39,455
Right now? Why?
13
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:40,998
- Is someone sick?
- Yes.
14
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:44,293
My sister's uterus came
down with a baby.
15
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,463
Oh, she's pregnant?
That's great.
16
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:49,423
You're gone an uncle...
Uncle Sheldon.
17
00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,967
No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.
18
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,137
How come you never said
she was pregnant?
19
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,139
Well, I never told you
about my brother's kidney stone.
20
00:00:57,307 --> 00:00:58,390
You want to hear about everything
21
00:00:58,516 --> 00:01:00,225
that comes out
of my family's genitals?
22
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,020
Well, congrats, and it's nice
23
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,480
you're gonna be
there for your sister.
24
00:01:04,606 --> 00:01:07,191
Yes. I'm filling in for her
husband who's recovering
25
00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:09,485
from a horrible motorcycle accident.
26
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:11,737
Lucky duck.
27
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,531
Wow, so, how long will you be gone?
28
00:01:14,657 --> 00:01:16,325
Well, she's due tomorrow.
29
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:18,452
Although it did take her
six years to finish high school,
30
00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:19,870
so who knows?
31
00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:22,122
Can I give you a ride to the airport?
32
00:01:22,248 --> 00:01:24,833
Oh, no, thank you, I don't want
to be an inconvenience.
33
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:27,836
Chop-chop, Leonard.
We leave in ten minutes.
34
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,049
♪ (THEME SONG PLAYS) ♪
35
00:01:56,032 --> 00:01:57,282
All right, here's the deal.
36
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,744
Sheldon is gone, so the tree
decorating rules are out the window.
37
00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,746
Yeah, which means
we don't have to use
38
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:05,791
his ridiculous
ornament-spacing template.
39
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,836
And I'm happy to report
its Kickstarter campaign
40
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,671
is holding strong at zero dollars.
41
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,049
Wait, so Star Wars
and Star Trek characters
42
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:15,717
can go on the same branch?
43
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:17,469
I know, it's crazy.
44
00:02:17,595 --> 00:02:19,471
Welcome to the Thunderdome, people!
45
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:20,764
ALL: Woo!
46
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,684
I've never done this before.
It's kind of fun.
47
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,353
Yeah, if your mom could see
her little Bar Mitzvah boy right now,
48
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,519
she'd have a heart attack.
49
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:29,523
Good idea, I'll take a picture.
50
00:02:34,195 --> 00:02:35,904
Honey, I'm a little strapped
for cash this year,
51
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,657
so for Christmas I was
thinking of giving you...
52
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,409
...this.
53
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:43,453
I love it.
54
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:44,788
Okay.
55
00:02:44,914 --> 00:02:46,748
But it is what you got me last year.
56
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:48,917
- Yeah.
- And last night.
57
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,421
(KNOCKING) Hello.
58
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,589
Hi, Stuart.
59
00:02:53,923 --> 00:02:56,216
Oh, good, I'm glad you guys
didn't wait for me to start.
60
00:02:56,342 --> 00:03:00,220
Although you said 7:00
and it's 7:00. That's fine.
61
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:02,764
(RINGING)
62
00:03:02,765 --> 00:03:05,267
Oh, it's probably Sheldon.
63
00:03:06,227 --> 00:03:07,227
Hi, Sheldon.
64
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,271
Everybody's here, say hi.
65
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:10,439
- Hi.
- Hey, buddy.
66
00:03:10,481 --> 00:03:11,106
Hey.
67
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:12,274
- Howdy.
- Hi.
68
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,567
Hello.
69
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:16,987
SHELDON: The second
I go out of town
70
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:19,072
you throw a Christmas
party without me?
71
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,949
Yeah, kind of.
72
00:03:21,075 --> 00:03:24,286
That's so thoughtful.
You guys are the best.
73
00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,164
Hey, how's your sister?
74
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:29,458
She went into labor an hour ago.
75
00:03:29,834 --> 00:03:32,169
That's wonderful.
So you're at the hospital?
76
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,963
No, she chose to have a home
birth... because she wants
77
00:03:35,089 --> 00:03:38,634
to live in the Stone Age
and a cave wasn't available.
78
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:42,012
You know, many people believe
79
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:44,014
that home births are better
because the mother
80
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,620
is in a warm, comfortable environment
81
00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,643
where she can be
nurtured by loved ones.
82
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,394
And turn the bedroom floor
83
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:52,105
into an amniotic Slip 'n Slide.
84
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,068
WOMAN: Shelly, come on!
85
00:03:56,194 --> 00:03:58,195
Your sister's fully dilated
86
00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,655
and she wants
a nice family picture
87
00:03:59,822 --> 00:04:02,783
before there's blood everywhere!
88
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,409
SHELDON: Oh, boy.
89
00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:08,205
I picked the wrong day
to wear my good robot T-shirt.
90
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,748
(BEEPING)
91
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:12,042
If you were having Sheldon's baby
92
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,961
would you really want him
in the room?
93
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,921
Yeah, if he's in the room
when they're making the baby,
94
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:17,839
I'll give you ten dollars.
95
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,151
Hey, I brought over
It's a Wonderful Life
96
00:04:21,302 --> 00:04:22,511
if you guys want to watch it later.
97
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,680
- Oh, I love that movie.
- I've never seen it.
98
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,556
- Me neither.
- It's great.
99
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,518
It's Christmas time and
Jimmy Stewart's really depressed
100
00:04:29,644 --> 00:04:32,020
and he's gonna jump
off a bridge and kill himself...
101
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,022
Don't need to see it.
Living it.
102
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:36,400
But then he gets to see
what the world
103
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,819
would be like
if he'd never been born.
104
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,320
Hey, you ever imagine
what that would be like?
105
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,571
Not being born?
106
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,323
(KNOCKING) What do you think?
107
00:04:43,449 --> 00:04:46,702
What do you think?
108
00:04:48,913 --> 00:04:50,747
You make jokes about Sheldon,
109
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:52,082
but if it weren't for him,
110
00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:55,210
I don't think any of us would be
sitting in this room right now.
111
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,962
Really? Sheldon not being here
112
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:59,464
is the main reason I'm in this room.
113
00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:02,676
It's true.
114
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,386
None of you would know me.
115
00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,138
You wouldn't know Bernadette.
116
00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:08,557
- You wouldn't be dating Penny.
- You don't know that.
117
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:10,392
I've been going to the
Cheesecake Factory for years.
118
00:05:10,518 --> 00:05:11,599
I could have picked her up.
119
00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:13,270
(ALL LAUGHING)
120
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:18,233
Oh, you weren't joking.
121
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:19,151
No.
122
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,694
Okay, sweetie, let me tell you
123
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,654
exactly how that
would have gone down.
124
00:05:25,742 --> 00:05:27,451
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.
125
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:30,579
I'm gonna squirt chocolate milk
out of my nipples.
126
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:35,792
Sorry, I thought we're saying things
that are never gonna happen.
127
00:05:35,918 --> 00:05:38,170
Maybe this time
he's going to do it.
128
00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:40,172
Hope you're thirsty, here it comes.
129
00:05:42,925 --> 00:05:43,925
Watch me.
130
00:05:45,386 --> 00:05:47,596
Hey, you guys ready to order
or you need a few minutes?
131
00:05:47,722 --> 00:05:50,557
- (STAMMERING)
- A few minutes it is.
132
00:05:51,934 --> 00:05:54,853
You didn't ask her out,
but that was a lot of sounds.
133
00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,148
You guys are making me nervous.
134
00:05:58,274 --> 00:05:59,754
Fine, then go talk to her
on your own.
135
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:01,735
I will.
136
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,286
- Excuse me.
- Yeah?
137
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:14,539
Hi... I'm Leonard?
138
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,125
Really? You don't sound so sure.
139
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,961
No, I am he.
140
00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,633
Anyway...
141
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:29,304
There's been something I've wanted
to ask you for a long time.
142
00:06:29,430 --> 00:06:30,472
What's that?
143
00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,350
I was wondering,
if you're not too busy...
144
00:06:35,103 --> 00:06:37,771
...if you'd be interested in...
145
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:41,400
...telling me where the restroom is?
146
00:06:45,613 --> 00:06:47,114
I think you're too late.
147
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,825
Come on, I would not
have peed my pants.
148
00:06:51,994 --> 00:06:53,870
- She nailed it.
- Sounds about right.
149
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:58,083
But, you forget,
I did ask you out in real life.
150
00:06:58,334 --> 00:07:00,460
Which couldn't have happened
if you didn't live across the hall from her
151
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,305
which couldn't have
happened without Sheldon.
152
00:07:02,338 --> 00:07:03,672
Same goes with you guys.
153
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,048
If Leonard wasn't with Penny,
154
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:06,675
she never would have set you up.
155
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,427
Doesn't matter.
Bernadette still would've been working
156
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,719
at The Cheesecake Factory,
157
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,889
and I still would've been
working this beefcake factory.
158
00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:16,643
You would've been all over me.
159
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,186
Well...
160
00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:22,899
Hey, Penny, can I take that table?
161
00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:24,025
Sure, why?
162
00:07:24,152 --> 00:07:25,777
The one in the turtleneck is cute.
163
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,865
Open wide,
here comes the happy train.
164
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:35,620
Mm-hm...
Chug-a chug-a, yum, yum.
165
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,792
Hang on.
166
00:07:41,711 --> 00:07:44,212
You got a...
You got a little something.
167
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,134
Never mind.
168
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:54,890
- (LAUGHING)
- Oh, man, that is so us.
169
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:01,069
You know, maybe you and I
wouldn't be together,
170
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,949
but you wouldn't have
done so great yourself.
171
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,399
- Why?
- Because I know exactly
172
00:08:04,525 --> 00:08:06,693
the kind of guy you
would've ended up with.
173
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:10,739
Hey, babe.
174
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:12,991
Hey. Did you remember
to pay the rent?
175
00:08:13,117 --> 00:08:15,660
Better. I used the money
to buy these magic beans.
176
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:20,123
He may be an idiot, but at least
he didn't pee himself.
177
00:08:22,710 --> 00:08:24,211
Hold on.
178
00:08:25,796 --> 00:08:27,881
Aw, babe, I peed myself.
179
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,635
(GASPS) Me, too.
180
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,936
The end.
181
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:43,730
(RINGING)
182
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:46,566
Hi, Sheldon.
183
00:08:46,692 --> 00:08:47,859
Everything okay?
184
00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:50,028
No, it's not.
185
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:52,614
I've seen things.
186
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:55,283
Lady things.
187
00:08:57,912 --> 00:08:59,788
Listen to me.
188
00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:02,499
That is not the way
they usually look.
189
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,962
It doesn't matter.
190
00:09:07,129 --> 00:09:09,422
This is no way
to make new humans.
191
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,550
People coming out of people.
192
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,387
It's some kind of dirty magic show.
193
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:18,557
WOMAN: Sheldon Lee Cooper.
194
00:09:18,683 --> 00:09:21,101
You get back
in this room right now.
195
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:22,561
And bring a mop.
196
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:24,938
Did you hear that?
197
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,147
A mop.
198
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:29,025
I have two PhDs yet
somehow I'm the janitor
199
00:09:29,151 --> 00:09:30,652
of my sister's birth canal.
200
00:09:37,618 --> 00:09:39,995
Hey, Sheldon sent us all
an e-mail.
201
00:09:40,329 --> 00:09:42,247
"Happy holidays from Texas."
202
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:43,915
And there's pictures.
203
00:09:44,041 --> 00:09:46,167
Ah! Don't open them.
Do not open them.
204
00:09:47,169 --> 00:09:50,964
Oh, come on.
Childbirth is a natural, beautiful...
205
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:54,134
Oh, it's like someone
sawed a cow in half.
206
00:09:56,304 --> 00:10:00,348
My father's a gynecologist,
I think I can handle it.
207
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,892
And, now I'm gay.
208
00:10:05,479 --> 00:10:06,688
You know, I was thinking,
209
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,481
without Sheldon most of us
would have never met,
210
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,525
but Penny would still
live across from him.
211
00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,445
And with Leonard out of the picture,
212
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,030
we all know what that would mean.
213
00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:16,823
We do?
214
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,613
(FLIRTATIOUSLY) Hey, Sheldon.
215
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,163
Hello.
216
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,916
Doing laundry?
217
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,964
Of course I'm doing laundry.
218
00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:34,674
Saturday night is laundry night,
219
00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,177
and I'm in a laundry room, so...
220
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:39,054
I believe your inference is justified.
221
00:10:39,221 --> 00:10:41,598
(LAUGHING)
My inference is justified.
222
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,267
Sheldon, you are so funny.
223
00:10:47,438 --> 00:10:49,439
Anyway, I need to do my laundry, too,
224
00:10:49,565 --> 00:10:52,400
because these clothes are so dirty.
225
00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:56,821
Almost as dirty as the dirty girl
who's wearing them.
226
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:00,260
Okay, that's enough.
227
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:02,827
- Disagree.
- Keep going.
228
00:11:05,122 --> 00:11:07,207
So, what do you think?
229
00:11:08,709 --> 00:11:12,170
A tad asymmetrical,
but nothing to be concerned about.
230
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,715
Please, Sheldon. I need you.
231
00:11:16,717 --> 00:11:19,094
To... what?
232
00:11:20,012 --> 00:11:21,179
To take me.
233
00:11:21,305 --> 00:11:24,224
I'm not taking you anywhere
till you put on a shirt.
234
00:11:26,852 --> 00:11:29,270
Come on, Sheldon.
You and me right here.
235
00:11:29,438 --> 00:11:31,940
Penny, for the thousandth time,
236
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:35,110
I'm saving myself
for someone special.
237
00:11:35,277 --> 00:11:38,905
Perhaps a cute
bespectacled neuroscientist
238
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,866
with hair the color of mud.
239
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,078
I think I know how
to change your mind.
240
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,350
- That's enough.
- (GROANING IN DISGUST)
241
00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:51,584
I was okay with it.
242
00:11:52,336 --> 00:11:53,962
(RINGING)
243
00:11:56,048 --> 00:11:57,424
How's it going, Sheldon?
244
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,426
Actually, much better.
245
00:11:59,677 --> 00:12:01,052
Oh, good.
Is the baby born yet?
246
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:03,179
I don't know.
I just got back.
247
00:12:03,347 --> 00:12:04,347
Where'd you go?
248
00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:07,308
My mother asked me
to get some towels.
249
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,352
I took advantage
of the vague request
250
00:12:09,478 --> 00:12:11,604
and went to Bed, Bath & Beyond.
251
00:12:13,482 --> 00:12:14,983
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
252
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:18,153
Excuse me! I'm on the phone!
253
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,156
So rude.
254
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:27,203
Here's another one.
Penny, if it weren't for Sheldon,
255
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:31,708
you never would have met
comic book legend Stan Lee.
256
00:12:33,043 --> 00:12:34,377
Great.
257
00:12:37,339 --> 00:12:40,258
At least Leonard, Howard and I
would have always been friends.
258
00:12:40,843 --> 00:12:43,044
Hey, how come you three never
got an apartment together?
259
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,263
We talked about it,
but Howard was in
260
00:12:45,389 --> 00:12:48,016
a pretty serious
relationship with his mom.
261
00:12:49,268 --> 00:12:51,144
I lived with her to save money.
262
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,520
Yeah, you didn't have
to buy groceries
263
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:53,926
because you were breast-feeding.
264
00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,389
So I guess if it weren't for me,
265
00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,652
you'd still be living with her, huh?
266
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:01,654
Not exactly.
267
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:02,981
What do you mean, not exactly?
268
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,825
Well, things would be
a little different.
269
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:10,872
MRS. WOLOWITZ:
Howard, where's my lunch? I'm starving!
270
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:15,543
I know you're starving.
The neighbors know you're starving.
271
00:13:15,669 --> 00:13:18,671
There's starving people in Africa
who know you're starving!
272
00:13:20,841 --> 00:13:23,384
MRS. WOLOWITZ: That's it?
There's not enough food!
273
00:13:23,552 --> 00:13:27,222
HOWARD: Well, you cleaned out Earth!
I don't know what else to do!
274
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,975
How is this any different?
275
00:13:31,101 --> 00:13:32,894
You didn't let me finish.
276
00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,396
Here you go, Mother.
277
00:13:36,065 --> 00:13:38,441
FEMALE VOICE:
You're a good boy, Howard!
278
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:42,403
Such a good boy!
279
00:13:47,201 --> 00:13:49,577
Wait, did she die
or did you kill her?
280
00:13:52,748 --> 00:13:55,333
Tomato, tomahto.
The important thing is she's dead.
281
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,963
Hey, so how come you two
didn't move in together?
282
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:01,714
This guy wanted
a place of his own
283
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:04,133
because he was sure he was
gonna be a ladies' man.
284
00:14:06,053 --> 00:14:07,762
Yeah, I was wrong.
285
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,558
But I do think you and I
would have had a great time.
286
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:14,435
Come on, Leonard, dinner.
287
00:14:14,603 --> 00:14:16,521
Coming.
288
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:26,281
LEONARD: Hang on.
289
00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,199
Why would I be fat?
290
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,536
You'd have no girlfriend
to see you naked,
291
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:34,289
you'd try to fill the void
with food,
292
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:37,166
and I'm an enabler who once
deep-fried a pancake.
293
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:39,878
Why can't you be fat too?
294
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,548
What do you want
to do for dessert?
295
00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:49,095
I think there's still
half a cake from breakfast.
296
00:14:51,599 --> 00:14:52,724
No, there's not.
297
00:14:58,480 --> 00:14:59,480
Hey, guys.
298
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,151
BOTH: Stuart!
299
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,278
What are you doing?
300
00:15:05,404 --> 00:15:07,155
I... (CLEARS THROAT)
301
00:15:07,281 --> 00:15:10,491
...just wanted to be
in anyone's story.
302
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,621
Yeah, but why are you fat?
303
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,000
Because Leonard was fat.
304
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:23,004
Amy, what about you?
305
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,214
What do you think you'd be doing
if you never met Sheldon?
306
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:27,342
It's hard to say,
307
00:15:27,509 --> 00:15:29,594
my life would be so... different.
308
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,847
You can say "better."
Sheldon can't hear you.
309
00:15:34,683 --> 00:15:36,059
I don't know.
310
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:39,312
♪ (SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY") ♪
311
00:15:47,529 --> 00:15:51,699
♪ There's tears in the frosting ♪
312
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,083
♪ (CONTINUES SINGING) ♪
313
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:05,838
(HIGH-PITCHED TONE)
314
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,596
I'll stop now.
315
00:16:14,390 --> 00:16:16,057
(RINGING)
316
00:16:17,101 --> 00:16:18,559
How's it going, Sheldon?
317
00:16:18,727 --> 00:16:19,727
(PANTING) That's it.
318
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,145
The baby's here.
319
00:16:21,897 --> 00:16:22,897
It's a boy.
320
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:24,691
(ALL CHEERING) Congrats.
321
00:16:24,775 --> 00:16:26,401
Oh, thank you.
322
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,820
I wasn't sure I was
going to make it.
323
00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,116
But my mother
gave me some ice chips,
324
00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:35,410
my sister told me to breathe.
325
00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:37,412
And I just thought
to myself, "Sheldon,
326
00:16:37,538 --> 00:16:39,580
if you can make it through
the Green Lantern movie,
327
00:16:39,707 --> 00:16:41,457
you can make it through this."
328
00:16:42,626 --> 00:16:44,085
Well, good for you, buddy.
329
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:45,586
We'll let you get back in there.
330
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:47,422
No, no, I'm not
going back in there.
331
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:49,298
That baby is so irritating.
332
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:52,969
He has literally been crying
his entire life.
333
00:16:54,847 --> 00:16:57,306
Oh, he's already taking
after Uncle Shelly.
334
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:01,477
- Come on, Sheldon, you should go.
- Why?
335
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,896
Well, you always
complain that you never
336
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,940
had an intelligent
role model growing up,
337
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,775
and now you can
be one for your nephew.
338
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,113
(SIGHS) All right, I'll go.
339
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,408
But from what I've seen,
his attention span
340
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,410
is as limited as his bladder control.
341
00:17:17,494 --> 00:17:18,828
(BEEPING)
342
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,122
You actually got him to do it.
343
00:17:21,248 --> 00:17:24,042
Yeah, you keep saying how much
Sheldon has affected all of us,
344
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,419
but you've clearly
had an impact on him.
345
00:17:27,129 --> 00:17:29,169
If that were true,
I wouldn't still be living alone.
346
00:17:29,965 --> 00:17:31,299
Well, not exactly alone.
347
00:17:31,467 --> 00:17:33,634
I do have a 50 pound sack of rice
348
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:35,553
with one of Sheldon's T-shirts on it.
349
00:17:39,224 --> 00:17:42,101
I'm telling you, Sheldon cares
for you more than you think.
350
00:17:42,436 --> 00:17:44,854
I wish I could believe you.
351
00:17:44,980 --> 00:17:47,690
I also wish there wasn't a mouse
living in Rice Sheldon.
352
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:53,821
Hang on, I'm gonna give you a little
early Christmas present.
353
00:17:54,823 --> 00:17:57,283
I'm gonna show you something,
but if you ever told Sheldon,
354
00:17:57,409 --> 00:17:59,285
he'd probably never
speak to me again.
355
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,329
So, if you want to tell him,
that's fine.
356
00:18:02,956 --> 00:18:03,998
Look.
357
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,503
I don't understand.
358
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:10,546
He made you his screensaver.
359
00:18:12,341 --> 00:18:13,341
Oh.
360
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:15,551
Wow.
361
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:17,428
I had no idea.
362
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,848
(EXCITED) He is so into me.
363
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:25,228
Wait, wait, where'd I go?
364
00:18:25,896 --> 00:18:28,147
Oh, well, it's you, Swamp Thing,
365
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:31,192
Stephen Hawking, Spider-Man...
but, look, you're in the mix.
366
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,238
I am in the mix.
And I'm the hottest one.
367
00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:37,198
Who's that?
368
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:40,243
- Oh, Madame Curie.
- That's fine, she's dead.
369
00:18:54,091 --> 00:18:55,424
You okay?
370
00:18:56,343 --> 00:18:58,427
Just really glad you're back.
371
00:18:58,637 --> 00:18:59,637
SHELDON: Me, too.
372
00:19:01,390 --> 00:19:03,141
I got a lot of TV to catch up on.
373
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:11,065
I missed you.
374
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:14,277
To quote Han Solo, "I know."
375
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,992
Did you miss me?
376
00:19:21,118 --> 00:19:23,452
I would've preferred
to have you there with me.
377
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:24,579
Oh...
378
00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:26,414
Or instead of me.
379
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:31,794
Did you hold the baby?
380
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,880
- I did.
- And?
381
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:36,883
How did it make you feel?
382
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,594
Looking into the blank, innocent eyes
383
00:19:39,678 --> 00:19:43,139
of a creature that couldn't begin to
comprehend anything I was saying?
384
00:19:43,557 --> 00:19:45,808
Basically just another day
at the office.
385
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:54,275
I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna ask her out.
386
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:00,865
Yeah, and chocolate milk is
gonna squirt out of my nipples.
387
00:20:01,617 --> 00:20:03,993
Put up or shut up.
You make it, I'll drink it.
388
00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:10,625
You guys need anything else?
389
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,835
Your phone number
and one more cheesecake.
390
00:20:15,797 --> 00:20:17,298
I'm sorry, I have a boyfriend.
391
00:20:17,424 --> 00:20:20,218
In fact, there he is now.
392
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:30,478
Ready to go, sweetheart?
393
00:20:30,604 --> 00:20:32,063
Not until I get my kiss.
394
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:35,524
(GIGGLING)
395
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:48,537
(SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING)
396
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:52,667
(SIGHS)
397
00:21:17,567 --> 00:21:19,568
(English US - SDH)
28492
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