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1
00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:07,526
I don't know why I avoided the Harry Potter
books for so long. These are great.
2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,803
- I just started number six.
- That's a good one.
3
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,570
Dumbledore dies in that one.
4
00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:18,446
Yeah, I know, I didn't
see it coming, either.
5
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:20,931
Why would you say that?
6
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:24,522
You brought up a subject,
I contributed a fact on that subject.
7
00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:27,929
It's called the art of conversation.
Okay, your turn.
8
00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:31,524
That was a huge spoiler.
9
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:33,330
Good.
10
00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,404
What is wrong with you? If I did that,
you'd bitch about it for weeks.
11
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,961
Really, Leonard?
Gonna have one of your hissy fits?
12
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:43,124
Hissy fits? I have hissy fits?
13
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,891
Yes. And I have a theory why.
14
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:50,210
Because of your lactose intolerance,
you switched over to soy milk.
15
00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,762
Soy contains estrogen-mimicking
compounds.
16
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:59,126
I think your morning Cocoa Puffs
are turning you into a hysterical woman.
17
00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,323
You are unbelievable.
I don't know why I put up with you.
18
00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:11,122
- You're controlling, you're irritating...
- There you go again. Nag, nag, nag.
19
00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,327
You're only proving my point, little lady.
20
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,169
You know what, screw you, Sheldon.
21
00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,761
You're the most annoying person
I've ever met.
22
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:23,931
I'm annoying?
You criticize my behavior all the time.
23
00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:28,170
"Sheldon, don't talk about
your bowel movements over breakfast."
24
00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,647
"Sheldon, when the president
of the university...
25
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,606
is giving a eulogy at a funeral,
don't yawn and point at your watch."
26
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,644
"Sheldon, don't throw away my shirts
because they're ugly."
27
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,171
You're impossible.
28
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,202
That's it, I don't have
to put up with this.
29
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:46,411
Actually, I have your signature
on a roommate agreement that says you do.
30
00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,167
Aww. Here's what I think
of your roommate agreement.
31
00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,041
- You pick that up right now.
- No.
32
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,282
Roommate agreement,
section 27, paragraph 5:
33
00:01:58,480 --> 00:02:02,326
"The roommate agreement, like the
American flag, cannot touch the ground."
34
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,044
I don't care.
35
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,953
I don't have to do
anything you say, because
36
00:02:07,966 --> 00:02:10,730
I don't think I wanna
live here anymore.
37
00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,642
- Where are you going?
- To live with Penny...
38
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,325
not you, you crazy bastard.
39
00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,488
- Crazy bastard?
- Yes.
40
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,050
- Leonard, wait.
- What?
41
00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:22,690
Dobby the Elf dies in book seven.
42
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,767
Here you go.
43
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,770
- Great. Come on in.
- What, you don't say thank you?
44
00:02:59,520 --> 00:03:02,603
It's my suitcase.
I lent it to you two years ago.
45
00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:05,560
I should tell you
I broke the wheel and the handle.
46
00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,203
So is everyone from Bernadette's company
going to Vegas?
47
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:15,131
No, just me, her,
and a couple of the bigwigs.
48
00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:17,044
It's part of a bonus she got.
49
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,368
Cool. Did she discover a cure
for something?
50
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,645
Not exactly. They spent a ton of money
developing this dandruff medication...
51
00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:27,361
that had the side effect
of horrible anal leakage.
52
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,807
Is there a good anal leakage?
53
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:39,089
Anyway, it was Bernie's idea to rebrand
the stuff as a cure for constipation.
54
00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:44,646
Way to make lemonade, you know, from
around the corner where fudge is made.
55
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,730
- Hey, I got a favor to ask.
- Sure.
56
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:53,605
My mom's been
kind of an emotional wreck...
57
00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,764
since that dentist she was dating
dumped her.
58
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,810
Dumped her? What did he use, a forklift?
59
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:03,925
Sorry.
60
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,805
There's nothing funny
about morbid obesity.
61
00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,288
She's huge, it was funny.
62
00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:13,846
Anyway, I was just hoping that maybe you
could check in on her tomorrow night...
63
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,926
- ...make sure she's doing okay.
- Dude, I'm a single man.
64
00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:20,646
Saturday night is my party night.
65
00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:23,687
Really, what do you got going on?
66
00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,161
I don't know, maybe drive
down to Hollywood...
67
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,641
hit a few hot spots,
see if I can get lucky.
68
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,204
Tell me if this sounds familiar. Ahem.
69
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:36,003
You pay $15 to park,
you stand on the sidewalk for an hour...
70
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,044
until you break down and
give the bouncer 20 to let you in.
71
00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,647
You push your way to the bar
where you drink an $18 cosmopolitan.
72
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,282
Then you stare at a pretty girl
and imagine your perfect life together.
73
00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:49,290
Children, grandchildren.
Meanwhile, she leaves with a guy...
74
00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:51,881
who claims he wrote
Beverly Hills Chihuahua.
75
00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:55,721
Then you give up on love,
go to Marie Callender's...
76
00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,009
buy a pie and eat it in your car
in the parking lot.
77
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,850
- What time should I be at your mother's?
- I told her around 7.
78
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,528
I swear, that man is the most egotistical,
insufferable human being I have ever met.
79
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,611
Yeah, but you two
make such a cute couple.
80
00:05:16,120 --> 00:05:17,929
Like Bert and Ernie.
81
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:22,528
You guys even teach me stuff
about words and numbers.
82
00:05:23,760 --> 00:05:25,171
Well, I've had it, I am done.
83
00:05:25,360 --> 00:05:27,203
I can't live with him one more minute.
84
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,209
Wow, where are you gonna go?
85
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,323
Well, I was thinking here with you.
86
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,251
Oh.
87
00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:37,646
Is that a problem?
88
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,446
No, no, no. It's great.
89
00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:43,889
It's terrific. You know, I just can't
help feel bad about Sheldon.
90
00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,209
I mean, how's he gonna
get by without you...
91
00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:49,050
Ernie?
92
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,844
- He's got Amy now.
- Yeah, he does...
93
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,560
- ...but it's not the same.
- Why?
94
00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,205
Um...
95
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,362
Well, all right, you know how in Harry
Potter and the Half-Blood Prince...
96
00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,928
Ron didn't abandon Harry
because Harry started dating Ron's sister?
97
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,771
Harry and Ginny get together?
98
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:17,722
Sorry, spoiler alert. My point is,
as much as I want to live with you...
99
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,287
I can't do it knowing how much
Sheldon needs you.
100
00:06:20,480 --> 00:06:23,484
Please. The only thing he needs me for
is to be his whipping boy.
101
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:25,484
His stooge, his doormat.
102
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:28,485
Well, you know what they say,
if it ain't broke...
103
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:34,208
Wow, it sounds to me like
you don't want us to live together.
104
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:39,804
No. No, no, I do. I do.
It's just... It's a really big step.
105
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,482
Is it? We're together all the time.
Financially, it makes great sense.
106
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,809
Can you think of one reason
why we shouldn't do this?
107
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,328
Well, um...
108
00:06:50,080 --> 00:06:52,765
Heh. I'm just a little thirsty.
109
00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:59,330
I got nothing.
110
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,851
Great. I'll go get my stuff.
111
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,127
Okay. All right, don't freak out.
You can make this work.
112
00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:16,167
Oh. Could you clear off a shelf for me
in the bathroom? I take a lot of medicine.
113
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,251
Oh, please, let some of it be Xanax.
114
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:27,011
Are you ready for dessert?
115
00:07:28,720 --> 00:07:30,131
No, thank you, Mrs. Wolowitz.
116
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:33,211
As is, I'm going to have to carry
my stomach out of here...
117
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:35,761
like I'm a fireman rescuing an infant.
118
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,210
Oh, please, you're a tall glass
of brown water.
119
00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:45,124
- Have dessert.
- I really couldn't.
120
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,041
But I've had a lovely time eating your
brisket and hearing about the things...
121
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,210
you've had removed from your body
over the years.
122
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:56,243
I didn't know you could have
a cyst inside another cyst.
123
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,281
The doctor said they were like
Russian nesting dolls.
124
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,088
Well, if you have to go, how about
I put a little doggie bag together for you?
125
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,049
That would be lovely, thank you.
126
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,283
Mrs. Wolowitz...
127
00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:16,486
are you okay?
128
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:18,006
Don't mind me.
129
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:21,921
I just cry when I'm lonely
and have nothing to live for.
130
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:28,690
I...
131
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,368
I suppose I could stay for some dessert.
132
00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,722
Great. You like
chocolate chip cheesecake?
133
00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,526
- Sure.
- I'll make one.
134
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,402
One vintage Mr. Mxyzptlk action figure.
135
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:47,687
- That's Leonard's.
- Children's toy.
136
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,969
The Next Generation phaser.
137
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,247
That's Leonard's.
138
00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:55,088
Children's toy.
139
00:08:55,600 --> 00:09:00,640
One Game of Thrones
collector's edition Longclaw sword.
140
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:03,366
Leonard and I bought that together.
141
00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:06,080
That's a bit of an ethical conundrum.
142
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,930
I'll keep it.
143
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:11,722
So, what's your plan moving forward?
144
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,288
I suppose I'll have to find and cultivate
a new roommate.
145
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,244
What a task that will be.
146
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:20,922
Do you know how uncivilized
Leonard was when I took him in?
147
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,842
- No.
- It took me forever...
148
00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:26,128
to get him on a bathroom schedule.
149
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:30,009
He would just go
whenever the mood struck him.
150
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:34,243
- Like a dog boy.
- Exactly.
151
00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,603
What if you could find a roommate
who was a scientist...
152
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,411
and already familiar and comfortable
with your ways?
153
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,005
That would be ideal.
154
00:09:42,160 --> 00:09:47,451
If a person like that existed, I would
sign on, no further questions asked.
155
00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:49,642
Great, here I am.
156
00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,451
Wait.
157
00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,529
Here who is where?
158
00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:03,489
Me. Aren't I your perfect roommate?
159
00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:06,604
- Um...
- Think about it, Sheldon.
160
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,485
I'm not a stranger,
we're intellectually compatible...
161
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,968
I'm willing to chauffeur you around,
and your personality quirks...
162
00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,370
which others find abhorrent
or rage-inducing, I find cute as a button.
163
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,329
What do you think?
164
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,131
Um...
165
00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,931
Tell me one reason
why this isn't a fantastic idea.
166
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,570
Um...
167
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,802
See? You can't.
168
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,402
I'm gonna go see if Leonard's room
is big enough for my water bed.
169
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,890
Um...
170
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,131
Good buddy Leonard?
Good buddy Leonard.
171
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,004
Good buddy Leonard?
172
00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:56,324
- What do you want?
- Hey, good buddy.
173
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,927
So I was just talking to Amy...
174
00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,004
and she made me realize
that this little dust-up...
175
00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:04,601
between you and me
is much ado about nothing.
176
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:08,844
- Is that so?
- Yes. All is forgiven, so come back home.
177
00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:12,487
I'll make you some soy hot chocolate
and then I'll tell you about...
178
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:16,207
our exciting new
devil-may-care bathroom policy.
179
00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,485
Cut to the chase, Sheldon.
180
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,251
Okay. Amy has decided
she wants to move in with me...
181
00:11:24,440 --> 00:11:27,922
so I need you to come back home,
you lovable scamp.
182
00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:30,964
That's a lot of product.
183
00:11:31,800 --> 00:11:33,564
- Hey. What's going on?
- Get this.
184
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:37,128
Suddenly, Sheldon wants me back
because Amy wants to move in with him.
185
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:39,288
Really? Interesting.
186
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,362
Well, too late, pal, I'm
not going anywhere.
187
00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:45,803
Penny and I are very happy living together.
Isn't that right?
188
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,890
It's like the happiness
won't ever leave the apartment.
189
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,842
Leonard, please,
you know Amy moving in...
190
00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:54,964
marks a level of intimacy
our relationship isn't ready for.
191
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:59,523
Yes. That is a real thing. And it doesn't
mean you don't care about each other...
192
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,790
it just means things
are moving at a pace
193
00:12:01,803 --> 00:12:03,884
you're not comfortable with.
And that's fine.
194
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,209
If he doesn't wanna live with her,
he should tell her how he feels.
195
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,404
Maybe he doesn't know how to say it
without hurting her feelings.
196
00:12:10,600 --> 00:12:13,888
Feelings? Who am I,
a hippie at a love-in? No.
197
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:18,125
The problem is she laid out a series of
logical arguments that I couldn't refute.
198
00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,051
- That is the worst, isn't it?
- Yes.
199
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:23,208
I'm sorry, Sheldon. I can't help you.
200
00:12:23,400 --> 00:12:26,768
This door's about to slam in your face.
201
00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:33,087
Oh, there you are.
When do I get a key to our apartment?
202
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:36,690
Um...
203
00:12:50,880 --> 00:12:52,166
- Hello?
- Hey.
204
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,489
- How'd it go last night with my mom?
- Okay, I guess.
205
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:56,841
What time did you leave?
206
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,006
Actually, I'm still here.
207
00:13:02,960 --> 00:13:06,681
- What? You spent the night?
- Yeah.
208
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,806
After dinner,
we watched a rerun of Rockford Files...
209
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,446
and then she opened
a bottle of cream sherry...
210
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,571
and the next thing I know
she was tucking me into your bed.
211
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,165
You wore my pajamas?
212
00:13:21,360 --> 00:13:22,566
Mm-hm.
213
00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,123
How do you sleep in these things?
Silk pajamas on satin sheets?
214
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,091
I slid out of the bed like three times.
215
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,369
Rajesh? You up?
216
00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:33,846
You ready for breakfast?
217
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,684
Oh, boy, breakfast.
218
00:13:37,120 --> 00:13:39,407
Okay, Raj, listen.
You need to get out of there.
219
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,730
But I have a cream sherry hangover
and I smell blintzes.
220
00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:47,310
If you don't leave now,
she'll use food and
221
00:13:47,323 --> 00:13:49,404
guilt to keep you there
the rest of your life.
222
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:50,687
Oh, Howard, stop.
223
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,724
Trust me, you're not Jewish,
that's how they get you.
224
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:57,724
You're being silly.
I can leave whenever I want.
225
00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,605
Oh, really?
Where are your clothes and your shoes?
226
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,121
They're on the chair right over...
227
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:06,249
Oy vey.
228
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:13,406
Hello, homewrecker.
229
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,761
What did I do?
230
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,923
You gave Leonard somewhere to go.
231
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,408
Thanks to you, Amy's out
buying his and hers bath towels.
232
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,321
Like I'd ever dry myself with something
that has a possessive pronoun on it.
233
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,881
Okay, listen...
234
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,322
the truth is
I don't want him living with me.
235
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:37,161
Great. Kick him out, break his heart,
everybody wins.
236
00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,441
No, I don't wanna break his heart,
I love him. This is happening too fast.
237
00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:42,721
You think this is fast?
238
00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,447
It is just a matter of time before
I see Amy's leg stubble in my shower.
239
00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,649
Yeah, and I've seen those legs.
You might wanna get some Drano.
240
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:56,089
Hold on. If you don't want to live
with Leonard, why don't you just tell him?
241
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,011
Well, you know how he is.
He's sensitive and emotional.
242
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,646
That's because he drinks
too much soy milk.
243
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,891
I don't know what else
we can do but tell them the truth.
244
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,931
I suppose there's no choice
but to face the crying...
245
00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:13,170
angry accusations,
and the high-pitched wails of despair.
246
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,409
Yeah. And who knows
how Amy will react.
247
00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:21,801
Here's some more ice.
248
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,530
- Thanks.
- What were we thinking?
249
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,451
We should have just done it
the regular way.
250
00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:33,769
Those Chinese acrobats in Cirque Du Soleil
made it look so easy.
251
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,686
Honestly, if I could bend that far,
what would I need with you?
252
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:44,323
If you could bend that far,
you'd be doing us both a favor.
253
00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:53,491
Hey, Raj, what's up?
254
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,644
You were right. I can't get out of here.
255
00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:00,165
- You're still at my mother's?
- I'm trapped.
256
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,569
My clothes have been in the laundry
all day, and she hid my keys.
257
00:16:03,760 --> 00:16:07,970
I think they might be in her bra
because she jingles when she walks.
258
00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:09,681
What do I do?
259
00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,850
Hey, you wanted a woman in your life,
now you got one.
260
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,244
Come on, Howard, help me.
261
00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:19,286
Rajesh, tatellah, I ran you a bath!
262
00:16:19,760 --> 00:16:24,084
Oh, my God,
she's not gonna bathe me, is she?
263
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,050
Gee, I wish I could tell you no.
264
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,487
All right, well, thanks again
for helping me out.
265
00:16:36,680 --> 00:16:38,205
Howard...
266
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:40,893
Should we go back
and rescue him?
267
00:16:40,906 --> 00:16:43,049
Too late. We'll see
him at his bar mitzvah.
268
00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:47,007
Here you go.
269
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,443
I picked up the Chinese food
just the way Leonard used to.
270
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:52,165
- Is it kung pao chicken?
- Yes.
271
00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:54,050
- Brown rice, not white rice?
- Yes.
272
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,203
- Spicy mustard from the Korean deli?
- Yes.
273
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,687
- I did good, right?
- Yes.
274
00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,121
Amy, are you worried
that us living together...
275
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,721
will take the mystery
out of our relationship?
276
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:11,089
- No.
- Yeah, why would you?
277
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:12,850
Oh, and check this out.
278
00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:17,568
I took the liberty of scripting a new
outgoing voice-mail message for both of us.
279
00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,004
"Hello, this is Sheldon."
280
00:17:23,200 --> 00:17:24,247
"And this is Amy."
281
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,925
"We're not home right now."
282
00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:28,771
"'Cause we out dropping science, son."
283
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,888
- "Leave a message."
- "Leave a message."
284
00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,803
Beep. Heh.
285
00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,009
You can't live here.
286
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,243
What? Why? Is it the message?
287
00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:54,002
I only used urban slang to sound tough
so people wouldn't break in.
288
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,406
It's not the message.
289
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:59,082
Well, what is it then?
I did everything just the way you like it.
290
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,965
- You did.
- Then what the hell, Sheldon?
291
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:08,929
We have been going out for over two years,
and I've been nothing but patient with you.
292
00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:13,091
I watch your dopey space movies,
I signed your ridiculous contracts.
293
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,802
I stopped wearing lip gloss because
you said it made my mouth look slippery.
294
00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:21,440
I am the best girlfriend
you're ever gonna have.
295
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,246
You give me one good reason
why I can't live here.
296
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,370
It's Penny's fault.
297
00:18:28,120 --> 00:18:30,248
- What?
- She doesn't wanna live with Leonard...
298
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:34,001
so he has to come live here again.
She's the snake in our garden.
299
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,049
She's the reason we can't be happy.
300
00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,963
- Hey, Ames.
- Yeah, "Hey, Ames" nothing.
301
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:44,925
I was all set to move in
with Sheldon and I can't because...
302
00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,924
- ...you don't wanna live with Leonard.
- What?
303
00:18:49,560 --> 00:18:51,801
Sheldon, what did you say?
304
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,004
The truth. You don't wanna live
with Leonard and you know it.
305
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:56,849
Since when don't you
want to live with me?
306
00:18:56,862 --> 00:18:58,522
You decided to move in...
307
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:02,645
- ...without even asking me if I was ready.
- I think we should talk about that.
308
00:19:03,440 --> 00:19:05,010
Since you love the truth so much...
309
00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,562
why not tell Amy you don't wanna
live with her instead of blaming me?
310
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:11,047
I thought we were talking about
the other thing.
311
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:16,491
- You're a coward.
- Well, the evidence does support that.
312
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:23,010
Come on, Amy. Let's go drink wine and talk
about what jerks our boyfriends are.
313
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,727
You know what would show them?
I should move in here with you.
314
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,609
Um...
315
00:19:42,360 --> 00:19:45,569
So you wanna catch up
on some Walking Dead?
316
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:47,607
Okay.
317
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,402
Have you seen the one where Lori dies?
318
00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,245
No.
319
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,651
Or maybe she doesn't, let's find out.
320
00:20:16,640 --> 00:20:19,803
- Where are you going?
- No!
26740
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