All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 03x08 - The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,037 --> 00:00:05,231 How much time do we have? 2 00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:09,000 Uh, T-minus five hours, 37 minutes to onset of meteor shower. 3 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:13,579 Okay, our position is 34.48 degrees north, 118.31 west. 4 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,581 That means the azimuth should be 168.22 degrees... 5 00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:21,653 ...relative to magnetic north with an elevation of 49.93. 6 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,483 - Anything yet? - Uh, we have a signal... 7 00:00:23,657 --> 00:00:26,490 - ...but no frame lock. - Hang on. How about now? 8 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,695 We did it. Ha, ha. We have the West Coast feed of HBO. 9 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,228 Ooh, Real Sex. 10 00:00:35,402 --> 00:00:37,165 Big deal. Every time I watch that... 11 00:00:37,337 --> 00:00:40,033 ...it's old women putting condoms on cucumbers. 12 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:43,170 All right, let's see what's on the East Coast feed. 13 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:45,905 Oh, hey. Dune. 14 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:52,514 Not a great movie, but look at that beautiful desert. 15 00:00:53,954 --> 00:00:56,013 Too bad Sheldon couldn't come with us. 16 00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,054 It's just not the same without him. 17 00:01:01,261 --> 00:01:03,126 That was good. That was good. 18 00:01:06,433 --> 00:01:08,924 Oh, this sucks. I'm switching back to Real Sex. 19 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,607 Sheldon's log. 20 00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:18,272 Stardate 63345.3. 21 00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:22,040 While my colleagues are off observing the Leonid meteor shower... 22 00:01:22,215 --> 00:01:24,445 ...I've remained behind to complete my paper... 23 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:27,781 ...on the decays of highly excited massive string states. 24 00:01:27,955 --> 00:01:29,889 Although my research is going well... 25 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:33,788 ...I do miss the warmth of human companionship. 26 00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:07,788 And good evening to you, Siam Palace. 27 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,326 This is Sheldon Cooper. 28 00:02:09,496 --> 00:02:11,589 I'm going to be dining alone this evening... 29 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,960 ...so I'll be reducing my usual order. 30 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:18,594 I'd like to start with one quarter of the Assorted Appetizers Plate... 31 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:22,640 ...and one half of the Golden Treasure for two... 32 00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:25,801 Oh, for heaven's sake. In the mid-18th century... 33 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,948 ...King Rama IV of Siam divided a huge empire... 34 00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:32,449 ...amongst the colonial powers of Europe to preserve his throne. 35 00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:36,988 Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings. 36 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,715 Sheldon, help! 37 00:02:38,892 --> 00:02:40,689 I need to go, but you keep in mind... 38 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:43,227 ...that my sharply worded comments on Yelp.com... 39 00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:45,490 ...recently took down a local muffin store. 40 00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,969 Penny. Penny. Penny. 41 00:02:52,139 --> 00:02:54,164 Come in! Hurry! 42 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,139 - Penny? - I'm back here. 43 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,412 Penny. Penny. Penny. 44 00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:08,679 Oh, for God's sakes, I'm in the bathroom. 45 00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:11,346 Shall I come back at a better time? 46 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:14,759 Get in here! 47 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,892 Hurry! 48 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,192 Don't you dare knock. 49 00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:25,868 Hello. 50 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:28,769 I slipped in the shower. I think I dislocated my shoulder. 51 00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,103 Not surprising. 52 00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,439 You have no safety mat or adhesive stickers... 53 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:37,879 ...to allow for purchase on a surface with a low coefficient of static friction. 54 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:39,950 What? 55 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,355 Tubs are slippery. 56 00:03:42,522 --> 00:03:44,615 I know. I slipped. 57 00:03:44,791 --> 00:03:48,727 I have a series of whimsical duck stickers on the bottom of my tub. 58 00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,693 Whatever. Will you just turn the water off and help me up? 59 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,434 - They're holding umbrellas. - Unh. 60 00:03:55,869 --> 00:03:58,064 - What? - The ducks in my tub. 61 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,296 Unh. Uh-huh. 62 00:03:59,473 --> 00:04:02,203 They're whimsical, because ducks have neither a need for... 63 00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:04,434 ...nor the ability to use umbrellas. 64 00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,875 Oh, my God. I gotta go to the emergency room. 65 00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,140 Assuming you're correct that your humerus... 66 00:04:09,316 --> 00:04:12,547 ...is no longer seated in the glenoid socket, I would think so. 67 00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:14,380 - Can you drive me? - I don't drive. 68 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,078 Well, I can't drive. 69 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,955 Well, it seems we've reached an impasse. 70 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,252 Ow! 71 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:23,085 I could call you a cab or an ambulance. 72 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,255 No, no, no, I can't wait that long. You gotta help me. Please? 73 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:29,231 All right. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper... 74 00:04:29,402 --> 00:04:31,666 ...ignored the pleas of a damsel in distress. 75 00:04:31,838 --> 00:04:33,499 No one's saying that. Let's go. 76 00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:37,268 It does seem rather ironic that for want of 99-cent adhesive ducks... 77 00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:40,504 ...we both might die in a fiery car crash. 78 00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:44,979 I wish Penny didn't have to work. She loves camping. 79 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:48,144 That would've been great. You and Penny having sex in the tent... 80 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:51,586 ...while I sit out here and watch Howard hump a cactus. 81 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:56,923 Okay, the best I can tell, there are eight other campsites nearby. 82 00:04:57,097 --> 00:05:00,965 Mostly science nerds like us, but just over yon ridge... 83 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,659 ...are two not unattractive middle-school teachers... 84 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,429 ...who reek of desperation. 85 00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:10,773 - Wonderful. How old are they? - I don't know, 50, 55? 86 00:05:12,212 --> 00:05:13,679 Oh, menopause. Heh. 87 00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:17,210 Nature's birth control. 88 00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:20,182 Come on. You guys can't be that hard up. 89 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,210 - I am. - Yeah, me too. 90 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,655 Look, they gave me homemade cookies. 91 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:28,351 Of course they did. That's what grandmothers do. 92 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:31,053 - So, what are we waiting for? - Relax. 93 00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:34,997 I said we'd stop by a little later, after they have their nap. 94 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,227 - Good idea. They'll be refreshed. - Yeah. 95 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:40,398 - Cookie? - Thank you. 96 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:43,176 Mmm. 97 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:46,904 - Mm. Not bad. - Yeah, very tasty. 98 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,809 Tell me more about these teachers. 99 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,348 Not much to tell. They had a VW Microbus... 100 00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:54,681 ...and were wearing tie-dyed Grateful Dead T-shirts. 101 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,422 Huh. Hm. 102 00:05:59,392 --> 00:06:01,360 Good cookies. 103 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:10,329 I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. 104 00:06:10,937 --> 00:06:13,667 Which panties do you wear on Mondays? 105 00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,832 I don't need panties. I just need shorts and a shirt. 106 00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,604 Mother always told me one should wear clean underpants... 107 00:06:19,779 --> 00:06:23,078 - ...in case one is in an accident. - One was already in an accident. 108 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:26,242 Doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I drive. 109 00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:28,779 - Clothes, Sheldon. I need clothes. - Okay. 110 00:06:29,422 --> 00:06:32,289 - Here. - Seriously? Those shorts with that top? 111 00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,385 All right. 112 00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,895 No. 113 00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,268 No. 114 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:44,567 Oh, that's cute. 115 00:06:45,805 --> 00:06:47,966 We should have you checked for a concussion. 116 00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,708 Okay, now you gotta help me put these on. 117 00:06:51,878 --> 00:06:54,073 - All right. - But don't look. 118 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,943 - Don't look? - I don't want you to see me naked. 119 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,642 Oh. Well, that's understandable. 120 00:06:59,819 --> 00:07:03,084 You may be interested to know that a prohibition against looking... 121 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,417 ...is well established in heroic mythology. 122 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,493 Lot and his wife, Perseus and Medusa... 123 00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,323 - ...Orpheus and Eurydice... - Great. 124 00:07:10,497 --> 00:07:12,965 They always look. It never ends well. 125 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:15,764 You gotta help me get my arm into the sleeve. 126 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:17,301 Okay. 127 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,501 Is that my arm? 128 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:28,174 Doesn't feel like an arm. 129 00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,080 Then maybe you should let it go. 130 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,286 Alrighty. 131 00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:51,000 Stars are pretty, aren't they? 132 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,538 Up above the world so high. 133 00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:58,109 Like little diamonds in the sky. 134 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,973 That's beautiful, dude. 135 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:05,012 You should write that down before someone steals it. 136 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,119 So when do the meteors get here? 137 00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:10,814 The meteors don't get here. The Earth is moving into their path. 138 00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,186 I can feel it. 139 00:08:14,794 --> 00:08:18,127 I can feel the Earth moving. Heh. 140 00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:22,164 It's moving too fast. Raj, slow it down. 141 00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:33,209 Okay, how's that? 142 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,477 Better, thanks. 143 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,576 Stars are pretty, aren't they? 144 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,484 What's so funny? 145 00:08:45,658 --> 00:08:49,651 It's your American accent. Everything you say sounds stupid. Ha-ha-ha. 146 00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:52,860 "Stars are pretty, aren't they?" 147 00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,240 For the record, I should let you know... 148 00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:09,075 ...this is my first time driving an actual motor vehicle. 149 00:09:09,282 --> 00:09:11,614 - You have your learner's permit, right? - Yes. 150 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:14,948 And I've logged a considerable number of hours on a simulator. 151 00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,612 - Good. - Didn't work out well. 152 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,622 - All right. Can we go? - One moment. 153 00:09:19,793 --> 00:09:23,752 According to my Driver's Ed book, the side mirror is properly adjusted... 154 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:27,627 ...when a portion of the driver's door handle is visible in the lower right corner. 155 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,735 There's the handle. Back. Too far. 156 00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,895 Bringing it back. 157 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,199 Optimized. Ahem. 158 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:38,105 Now, where is the switch to adjust the passenger-side mirror? 159 00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:39,768 It's right there. 160 00:09:41,781 --> 00:09:43,874 Where is the passenger-side mirror? 161 00:09:44,984 --> 00:09:47,111 In a parking lot in Hollywood. 162 00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:52,254 - Now, can we please go? - Yes. Soon as I adjust my seat. 163 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:55,057 Whee! 164 00:10:01,234 --> 00:10:03,930 Oh, dear. I'm gonna have to start again. 165 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:15,075 If I could speak the language of rabbits... 166 00:10:15,515 --> 00:10:19,246 ...they would be amazed and I would be their king. 167 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,411 I hate my name. 168 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,253 It has "nerd" in it. 169 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:32,362 Leon-nerd. 170 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:37,167 I lost my virginity to my cousin Jeanie. 171 00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:42,099 I would be kind to my rabbit subjects. 172 00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,707 At first. 173 00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,440 You know what's a cool name? 174 00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,606 Angelo. 175 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:55,146 That has "angel" and "Jell-O" in it. 176 00:10:55,688 --> 00:10:57,349 It was my Uncle Murray's funeral. 177 00:10:57,524 --> 00:10:59,856 We were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house. 178 00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:02,517 Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. 179 00:11:02,695 --> 00:11:05,289 We never meant for it to happen. 180 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:09,124 One day, I hold a great ball for the president of France. 181 00:11:09,302 --> 00:11:11,463 But the rabbits, they hate me and don't come. 182 00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:16,234 I'm embarrassed, so I eat all the lettuce in the world and make them watch. 183 00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:20,542 People could call me Angie. 184 00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:24,408 "Yo, Angie. How's it going?" 185 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,183 To this day, I can't look at pickled herring... 186 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:31,517 ...without being aroused and ashamed. 187 00:11:32,492 --> 00:11:35,518 Oh, cousin Jeanie. 188 00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,364 Could you please drive a little faster? 189 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,231 Oh, I think we're going sufficiently fast. 190 00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:48,764 - What's that? - Nothing. 191 00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:51,536 - The engine does that sometimes. - It can't be nothing. 192 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,509 The "check engine" light is on. We need a service station. 193 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,842 The light's been on since I bought the car. 194 00:11:57,016 --> 00:12:01,009 All the more reason to consult with a mechanic before it explodes. 195 00:12:01,187 --> 00:12:03,348 It's not gonna explode. Just keep driving. 196 00:12:03,523 --> 00:12:06,458 Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock. 197 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:10,953 Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. 198 00:12:11,130 --> 00:12:12,461 He was the science officer. 199 00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:16,295 I guarantee that if he saw the Enterprise's "check engine" light blinking... 200 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:19,063 ...he would pull the ship over immediately. 201 00:12:19,806 --> 00:12:22,536 Oh, God, I'm gonna lose the arm. 202 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:25,638 Oop. Red light. Release accelerator... 203 00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:30,806 ...and slowly apply the brake. 204 00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,713 Nailed it. 205 00:12:37,824 --> 00:12:39,121 While we have a moment... 206 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:41,590 - ...may I ask you a question? - What? 207 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,321 Why do you have the Chinese character for "soup"... 208 00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,590 ...tattooed on your right buttock? 209 00:12:46,966 --> 00:12:51,062 - It's not "soup." It's "courage." - No, it isn't. 210 00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:53,431 I suppose it does take courage... 211 00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,632 ...to demonstrate that kind of commitment to soup. 212 00:12:58,244 --> 00:13:00,576 How did you see it? You said you wouldn't look. 213 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:05,013 Sorry. As I told you, the hero always peeks. 214 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,618 - Anything? - No, that was the last pudding cup. 215 00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,125 No. 216 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,268 What about Slim Jims? 217 00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:25,828 That's what he used to eat his pudding, remember? 218 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:30,142 Right. That was so good. 219 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:34,142 Sweetie and meaty at the same time. 220 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:37,841 Wait, wait, wait. So you're saying we're out of food? 221 00:13:38,017 --> 00:13:40,485 The only thing in here are blue-ice packs. 222 00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,616 I know they're poison... 223 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:47,192 ...but they look like big, yummy Otter Pops. 224 00:13:47,894 --> 00:13:50,863 - Oh, God, I am so hungry. - Me too. 225 00:13:51,698 --> 00:13:54,394 Check and see if we have any more pudding. 226 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,504 Okay. 227 00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:04,132 All right. There's no need to bark at me. 228 00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:08,338 According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk... 229 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:11,711 ...you're after the man who claims to be having a heart attack... 230 00:14:11,884 --> 00:14:15,081 ...but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone. 231 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:19,190 We have to fill these out. 232 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,653 "Describe illness or injury." 233 00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:24,326 I dislocated my shoulder. 234 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,930 All right. 235 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,693 And "how did the accident occur?" 236 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:31,166 You already know that. 237 00:14:31,337 --> 00:14:35,364 Cause of accident: lack of adhesive ducks. 238 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,102 Okay, medical history. 239 00:14:40,279 --> 00:14:42,839 - Have you been diagnosed with diabetes? - No. 240 00:14:43,015 --> 00:14:44,448 - Kidney disease? - No. 241 00:14:44,617 --> 00:14:47,450 - Migraines? - Getting one. 242 00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:50,187 - Are you currently pregnant? - No. 243 00:14:50,356 --> 00:14:52,586 Are you sure? You look a bit puffy. 244 00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,695 Change migraine to "yes." 245 00:14:58,264 --> 00:15:01,756 - "When was your last menstrual period?" - Oh, next question. 246 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:03,868 I'll put "in progress." 247 00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:08,406 Okay. Moving to psychiatric disorders. 248 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:12,874 "List all major behavioral diagnoses, e.g. depression, anxiety, etc." 249 00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:16,105 What the hell does this have to do with my stupid shoulder? 250 00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:19,376 Episodes of sub-psychotic rage. 251 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:24,778 - Ass. - Possible Tourette's. 252 00:15:26,159 --> 00:15:29,788 All right. "Moles, lesions or other skin conditions." 253 00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,624 "Soup" tattoo on right buttock. 254 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:37,395 Okay, Sheldon. Sheldon, look. I am scared and in a lot of pain. 255 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,562 Could you please take a break from being you for just a minute... 256 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:44,232 ...and try being, I don't know, comforting? 257 00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,078 Ahem. I'm sorry. 258 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,845 There, there. 259 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,014 Everything's going to be fine. 260 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:04,158 Sheldon's here. 261 00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:14,205 Thanks. That's much better. 262 00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,834 Oh, I'm so hungry. 263 00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:21,537 Will you shut up? We're all hungry. 264 00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:25,309 Okay, our objective is the Boy Scout campsite to the east. 265 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,717 Easy target. Big, doughy scoutmaster, couple of Cubs, mostly Webelos. 266 00:16:29,956 --> 00:16:31,150 What kind of score? 267 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,350 Hot dogs, buns, s'mores. I mean, it's a freaking 7-Eleven. 268 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:37,291 - All right. Everyone grab flashlights. - Okay. 269 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:43,559 Oh, my God. Could it be? Yes! 270 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:46,398 My mother put an "I love you" brisket in my backpack! 271 00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:48,335 - Quick, get forks. - Don't need forks. 272 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:50,635 It's so tender, it falls apart in your hands. 273 00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:53,974 - He's right. - Yes. 274 00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,988 I feel like we're forgetting something important. 275 00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:06,556 Me too, but what? 276 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:12,691 Maybe a Tupperware bowl of roasted potatoes and carrots? 277 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,355 LEONARD & RAJESH: Yes! 278 00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,092 Yes! 279 00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:20,436 Now remember... 280 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:24,736 ...you were given powerful pain medication and a muscle relaxer... 281 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:28,380 ...so don't operate heavy machinery. 282 00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:32,683 Try not to choke on your own drool. 283 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,383 Wait. You have to help me get into bed. 284 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:43,127 Sheldon has to get me into bed. 285 00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,457 Bet you never thought I'd say that. Ha-ha-ha. 286 00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,399 Yes. 287 00:17:50,570 --> 00:17:54,734 The charm of your drug-addled candor knows no bounds. 288 00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,409 You know, people think you're this weird robot man... 289 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:03,811 ...who's so annoying all the time, and you totally are. 290 00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:08,617 But then it's like that movie Wall-E at the end. 291 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:12,451 You're so full of love and you can save a plant... 292 00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,459 ...and get fat people out of the floaty chairs. 293 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:21,624 That's a fairly labored metaphor, but I appreciate the sentiment behind it. 294 00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:25,827 Sing "Soft Kitty" to me. 295 00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,739 "Soft Kitty" is for when you're sick. You're not sick. 296 00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:35,903 Injured and drugged is a kind of sick. 297 00:18:44,657 --> 00:18:50,618 Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur 298 00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,287 Wait, wait. Let's sing it as a round. 299 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,990 I'll start. 300 00:18:57,603 --> 00:19:03,803 Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur 301 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:07,677 See, that's where you come in. I'll start over. 302 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:15,515 Soft kitty, warm kitty Little ball of fur 303 00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,791 I've got all night, Sheldon. 304 00:19:21,394 --> 00:19:24,830 Soft kitty, warm kitty 305 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:28,160 - Little ball of fur - Soft kitty, warm kitty 306 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:31,667 - Little ball of fur - Happy kitty, sleepy kitty 307 00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,863 - Happy kitty, sleepy kitty - Purr, purr, purr 308 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:39,137 Purr, purr, purr 309 00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:51,546 And the next morning when he woke up, he rolled over and realized... 310 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,658 Da, da, da! 311 00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:57,188 - -she was his cousin. 312 00:20:05,071 --> 00:20:07,904 That's still not funny. 313 00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,938 "That's still not funny." 314 00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:14,409 And she was my second cousin. 315 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:17,071 "And she was my second cousin." 316 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:21,611 You're a real douche. 317 00:20:22,054 --> 00:20:24,852 Who cares? You slept with your cousin. 24744

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