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1
00:00:55,922 --> 00:00:58,220
Let me see. 42 across.
2
00:00:58,291 --> 00:01:01,727
Perry Mason's secretary.
Della blank.
3
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,956
Her name wasn't Della Blank.
4
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:07,796
I know that, Melvin.
The blank is where her name goes.
5
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:11,234
- Della what?
- Maybe it was Della Mason.
6
00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:14,273
What's wrong with you, Melvin?
They weren't married.
7
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:16,274
Although I believe...
8
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,514
- You think so?
- Sure. You can't see that on TV.
9
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:26,712
But I bet you at the annual
Christmas party that...
10
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,982
- A little hanky-panky.
- Yeah, yeah.
11
00:01:31,057 --> 00:01:34,356
- Get on to the next one.
- Okay, then.
12
00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:37,596
There it goes again.
13
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:40,531
How is a man supposed to think
with all that noise going on?
14
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:44,331
- What is that, Fred?
- Some guy bought the place next door.
15
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,929
No kidding. That place
has been vacant for years.
16
00:01:47,006 --> 00:01:49,634
Everybody in the neighborhood
been throwing all their trash there.
17
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:52,439
I know it. I been going over there,
picking it up, cleaning it up...
18
00:01:52,512 --> 00:01:54,446
and selling it back to 'em.
19
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:59,583
Now I can't do that no more.
20
00:01:59,652 --> 00:02:02,086
Fred, what's he making
over there anyway?
21
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:04,715
He ain't making nothing but a bunch
of noise, and I'm gonna tell him.
22
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:08,386
Hey, you! You better cut that noise down
if you don't want some trouble!
23
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,895
Don't have me come over there and
give you a bunch of trouble, buddy...
24
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,195
and I mean it
'cause I'll be over there on you!
25
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:17,836
- Now, that's telling him, Fred.
- Yeah.
26
00:02:17,904 --> 00:02:19,997
See, you got to nip
them things in the bud.
27
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:23,338
Nip 'em in the bud.
That bud is nipped.
28
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,470
I think that bud
needs a little more nipping.
29
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:33,217
You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna
get my bud nipper and nip some bud.
30
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:38,012
- What's a bud nipper?
- I'll show you what a bud nipper is.
31
00:02:38,091 --> 00:02:42,255
Here it is.
My Louisville bud nipper.
32
00:02:42,328 --> 00:02:45,764
- How all those dents get in there?
- That's from nipping buds.
33
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,359
Move out the way.
I'm gonna teach this guy...
34
00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:51,426
Where are you going with that?
35
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,870
I'm going over there and introduce
myself to our new neighbor...
36
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:56,465
and then open up his skull.
37
00:02:56,543 --> 00:02:59,273
- What are you talking about?
- This guy been over there three days.
38
00:02:59,345 --> 00:03:01,939
- This noise is driving me crazy.
- Would you get inside?
39
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,483
Give me this bat.
Now, get inside.
40
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,179
What's the matter with you, Pop?
41
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:11,485
You can't go beating up on somebody
just 'cause they making noise.
42
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:13,150
There. It stopped.
43
00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:16,252
- Who bought that place anyway?
- Some stupid jerk, that's who.
44
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,490
What are you calling him that for?
You don't even know him.
45
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:21,693
I met him and he's a nice guy.
I think he'll make us a good neighbor.
46
00:03:21,768 --> 00:03:25,204
- Is he a brother?
- No, but what difference does it make?
47
00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:28,365
Well, it make
a whole lot of difference to me.
48
00:03:28,441 --> 00:03:32,070
Haven't you seen that bumper sticker,
"Good neighbors come in all colors"?
49
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:36,047
He'll come in all colors too if I put
my bud nipper up his head.
50
00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:40,385
- When did you meet him anyway?
- I met him yesterday.
51
00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:43,081
I introduced myself
and he invited me in his house.
52
00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:46,387
- He's a good cook.
- You ate there?
53
00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:49,826
That's right. He gave me a dish
of some stuff that was terrific.
54
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,295
It's called mofongo.
55
00:03:52,198 --> 00:03:53,722
Mofongo?
56
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:57,236
If someone gave me mofongo,
I'd sprinkle some foot powder on it.
57
00:03:58,504 --> 00:04:01,564
Well, that shows what you know.
58
00:04:01,641 --> 00:04:04,508
That's a national dish.
He's Puerto Rican.
59
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,814
Melvin, did you hear
what Lamont said?
60
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:12,817
He said the guy that moved
next door is Puerto Rican.
61
00:04:12,885 --> 00:04:14,580
That's it.
62
00:04:14,654 --> 00:04:16,554
That's it.
63
00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:18,557
There goes the neighborhood.
64
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:23,457
- What?
- This was a good neighborhood...
65
00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,930
but now all the property values
gonna go...
66
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,967
What difference does it make
if he's Puerto Rican?
67
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:32,299
Makes a big difference.
68
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,341
The Puerto Ricans run down
every neighborhood they get into.
69
00:04:35,408 --> 00:04:37,808
Look what they did to Harlem.
70
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:41,438
- What did they do to Harlem?
- What did they do to it?
71
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,540
Listen. Before the Puerto Ricans
moved in to Harlem, it was a paradise.
72
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:47,450
- Right, Melvin?
- That's right, Fred. It was a paradise.
73
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:52,554
Harlem was a ghetto long before Puerto
Ricans moved in, and you know it.
74
00:04:52,625 --> 00:04:54,650
I guess it was sort of.
75
00:04:54,727 --> 00:04:57,890
Melvin, you know good and well before
the Puerto Ricans moved to Harlem...
76
00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:00,432
there was not one cockroach
in Harlem.
77
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:06,499
See, they brought 'em there.
78
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,733
See, they Puerto Rican
cockroaches.
79
00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,001
And they also keep 'em for pets.
80
00:05:12,078 --> 00:05:14,774
Now, I can't argue
with that, Lamont.
81
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,781
You don't know
what you talking about.
82
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:18,783
When was the last time
you was in Harlem?
83
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:21,217
- Twenty years ago.
- And how did it look?
84
00:05:21,287 --> 00:05:22,845
- Beautiful.
- Beautiful.
85
00:05:22,922 --> 00:05:25,891
- It was a ghetto.
- Well, you could call it that.
86
00:05:25,958 --> 00:05:28,927
- But beautiful.
- But beautiful.
87
00:05:28,995 --> 00:05:31,190
How can a ghetto be beautiful?
88
00:05:31,264 --> 00:05:34,529
Yeah, Fred.
How can a ghetto be beautiful?
89
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,260
- Shut up, Melvin.
- Please shut up, Melvin.
90
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:41,501
Look, if you guys don't want
my opinion, I'll just shut up.
91
00:05:41,574 --> 00:05:43,633
Good.
92
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,043
Well, I got to go anyway. I'll see you
later. I'm going on out of here.
93
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:49,707
Listen, Melvin.
Leave the door open.
94
00:05:49,782 --> 00:05:51,909
The flies
ain't been out all day.
95
00:05:57,757 --> 00:06:00,624
Listen. Don't go telling me
about Harlem.
96
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:02,558
Who you think brought
the rats there?
97
00:06:02,628 --> 00:06:05,290
I guess you're gonna tell me
that was the Puerto Ricans too.
98
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:09,131
I sure am. And they
brought 'em there on purpose.
99
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,899
- And why was that?
- To kill the Puerto Rican cockroaches.
100
00:06:14,173 --> 00:06:17,142
See, they sic the rats
on the cockroaches.
101
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:20,577
It's like their national pastime.
You know, like baseball.
102
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,739
- Would you stop it?
- I mean it.
103
00:06:22,815 --> 00:06:26,683
They gather at a big stadium and they
stand up and sing their national anthem.
104
00:06:26,753 --> 00:06:29,517
You know what the Puerto Rican
national anthem is?
105
00:06:29,589 --> 00:06:32,353
We'll take Manhattan
106
00:06:32,425 --> 00:06:35,622
The Bronxand Staten Island too
107
00:06:37,096 --> 00:06:41,726
I'm not kidding you. Them Puerto Ricans
gonna take over the whole neighborhood.
108
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,870
There it goes again.
Will you listen to that?
109
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:49,499
- Gee whiz, I can't...
- What are you talking about?
110
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:52,669
- He's only playing his radio.
- Yeah, he's only playing his radio.
111
00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:56,272
But pretty soon this place will be
just crawling with Puerto Ricans...
112
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:59,113
wearing them pointy-toed shoes
and dancing in the street.
113
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,549
I'm gonna call the police
because they disturbing the peace.
114
00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:09,993
- They disturbing the peace.
- Wait a minute, Pop. Wait a minute.
115
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:12,053
If all that's bothering you
is him making noise...
116
00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:14,065
I'll go over there
and ask him to stop.
117
00:07:14,133 --> 00:07:16,397
He probably don't even know
he's disturbing you.
118
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,596
I suppose you think
you don't ever make noise.
119
00:07:18,671 --> 00:07:21,401
If I do make noise,
I'll make it in English.
120
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:24,534
Listen. I'm telling you,
I know these people, Lamont.
121
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,704
Next thing he be growing
a garden over there in his backyard.
122
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,341
And you know what he'd be growing?
Latin lettuce.
123
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:34,386
- Latin lettuce?
- Yeah. That's that stuff they use...
124
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,388
to roll them funny cigarettes.
125
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,651
You know, call 'em...
126
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:41,215
south of the border butts.
127
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,422
I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
Let's go and fix my lunch.
128
00:07:44,497 --> 00:07:47,125
- That's what I came home for.
- Okay, okay.
129
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:51,261
- But you'll listen to me one day.
- You're getting worked up over nothing.
130
00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,805
Julio's a nice guy.
He don't want no trouble.
131
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:57,570
- Julio? Is that his name?
- That's right. Julio Fuentes.
132
00:07:57,643 --> 00:08:00,635
Julio Fuentes?
That don't sound like no name.
133
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:03,580
That sounds like something you get
from drinking their water.
134
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:08,278
I had fuentes once
for three days.
135
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,618
You're gonna change your mind
aboutJulio once you meet him.
136
00:08:13,693 --> 00:08:18,323
You think so? Well, I know 'em, and
another thing they do is collect cats.
137
00:08:19,732 --> 00:08:23,600
- Cats? What for?
- To make strings for their guitars.
138
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:29,402
Pop, just help me fix my lunch
and I'll be happy, okay?
139
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,407
Okay.
140
00:08:42,221 --> 00:08:45,520
There's your sandwich.
I'm going upstairs.
141
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:52,898
Help!
142
00:08:52,965 --> 00:08:54,899
Help!
143
00:08:54,967 --> 00:08:58,767
Lamont! Lamont, come here!
There's a goat in the living room!
144
00:09:00,406 --> 00:09:04,433
- Get him out of here.
- Just relax. Now, relax. That's Chico.
145
00:09:04,510 --> 00:09:07,274
- That's Julio's goat. He won't hurt you.
- Don't tell me.
146
00:09:07,346 --> 00:09:09,974
I know all about goats,
and that's a killer goat.
147
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:13,712
Look at him. Look at him.
He's in that attack position.
148
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:17,153
Don't go near him.
He'll tear your head off.
149
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,885
Chico wouldn't hurt a fly.
150
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:23,326
I'm not worried if he hurt a fly.
I'm worried if he hurt a old man.
151
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,956
It's a killer goat, huh?
Look at this. Hello, Chico.
152
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,590
See that, Pop?
153
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,903
- Hey, Julio.
- I'm sorry, man.
154
00:09:32,972 --> 00:09:34,371
That's okay.
155
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:40,144
Hey, listen at 'em. They both
understand the same language.
156
00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,806
Hey. Hey, se�or.
157
00:09:44,884 --> 00:09:47,751
You and el goatay...
158
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:51,153
vamoosay right away.
159
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,726
Do you dig?
160
00:09:55,628 --> 00:09:58,096
I'm sorry, man,
but I don't understand.
161
00:09:58,164 --> 00:10:03,295
It's nothing. Julio, my pop, Fred
Sanford. Pop, this is Julio Fuentes.
162
00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,428
That's your father.
Se�or Mr. Sanford.
163
00:10:05,504 --> 00:10:07,529
I've been looking
forward to this. It's a pleasure.
164
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:11,509
I'm ain't gonna put my hand
on nobody hand's been touching a goat.
165
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:13,909
You're right. I'm sorry
about the goat, Mr. Sanford.
166
00:10:16,282 --> 00:10:20,446
I always keep him tied up. I'm sorry.
He must've got loose and got away.
167
00:10:20,519 --> 00:10:23,750
What are you doing with a goat anyway?
Wouldn't they sell you a dog?
168
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,917
Or is that just
a Puerto Rican poodle?
169
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:31,191
No. I use Chico to keep the place
clean, man. He eats up all the garbage.
170
00:10:31,263 --> 00:10:35,256
Well, I bet over at your place,
that's a full-time job.
171
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:38,303
- Hey, he's only kidding, Julio.
- I'm not kidding.
172
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:41,169
Next thing you'll know
he'll have a yard full of chickens.
173
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:44,175
What's the matter?
You got something against chickens?
174
00:10:44,243 --> 00:10:47,610
- Not really.
- Maybe you got something against goats.
175
00:10:49,281 --> 00:10:53,445
Well, then maybe, Mr. Sanford,
you got something against Puerto Ricans.
176
00:10:53,519 --> 00:10:55,453
Now you got it.
177
00:10:56,922 --> 00:11:00,619
Mr. Sanford, tell me. What have
you got against Puerto Ricans?
178
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,718
Since you asked me,
I'll tell you.
179
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:07,232
First thing, when they came here,
they brought them cockroaches with them.
180
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:10,996
Them Puerto Rican cockroaches.
And then they brought them rats with them.
181
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:13,971
And now look what you got
with you this time... a goat.
182
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,338
I'm gonna tell you
something, Mr. Sanford.
183
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,003
I would rather live
with a young goat who gives milk...
184
00:11:19,078 --> 00:11:21,979
than an old goat
who gives trouble.
185
00:11:25,751 --> 00:11:29,812
Well, how would you like a old goat
to give you one across your lips?
186
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,124
You give bad vibes, man.
I'm leaving.
187
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:36,753
- Good. Go back to where you came from.
- I come from New York City, man.
188
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,763
- That's where I come from.
- And you messed up Harlem.
189
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:41,095
Now you're gonna try
to louse it up out here.
190
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:48,171
Go tell it to the United Nations.
I wish you would start some stuff.
191
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,907
Say, look, Julio.
Hey, I'm sorry, man.
192
00:11:53,979 --> 00:11:55,913
He's an old man
and he's got a lot of hang-ups.
193
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:58,814
I don't like the way he talks to me.
I just don't like it.
194
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,079
He talks to me the same way.
195
00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:03,849
He's called me a dummy
every day of my life.
196
00:12:03,923 --> 00:12:06,687
Except once. And that was
the day he had laryngitis.
197
00:12:06,759 --> 00:12:09,523
And even then he wrote it
on a piece of paper.
198
00:12:09,595 --> 00:12:12,291
That's okay for you to take. He's your
father. But I don't have to take that.
199
00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,822
- People should try to be friends.
- I know that. He knows it too.
200
00:12:15,901 --> 00:12:19,462
Now, he blows up and he lets off steam
and then he realizes he was wrong.
201
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,665
I'll bet since we've been out here
talking, he's thought about it...
202
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,675
- and realized that he's wrong.
- I hope so, man.
203
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,677
We've got to be neighbors.
We may as well be friends.
204
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:29,476
Lamont, come on in the house.
Stop talking to that goat lover.
205
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:33,575
See that?
It's the same thing all over again.
206
00:12:42,995 --> 00:12:45,293
- What did you do that for?
- What?
207
00:12:45,364 --> 00:12:47,594
And man comes over here
and tries to be friends with you...
208
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:49,600
and you practically
throw him out of the house.
209
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,863
Well, I don't want him,
I don't need him, and I don't like him.
210
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,871
Nobody asked you to like him.
211
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:57,602
And the more you keep talking, I ain't
gonna be too crazy about you either.
212
00:12:57,676 --> 00:12:59,701
And another thing,
you had your hands on that goat too.
213
00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,873
Would you stop it?
Stop it. Give me this.
214
00:13:02,948 --> 00:13:05,178
Stop it.
215
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:09,017
Julio's got just as much right to live
here and be a junkman as you have.
216
00:13:09,088 --> 00:13:11,989
Junkman? Is that what's he's
opening next door, a junkyard?
217
00:13:12,057 --> 00:13:14,924
That's right. He bought the place
and he can do whatever he wants.
218
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:18,225
- Now I know he's gotta go.
- Why?
219
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,130
Why? You want competition?
Another junkyard? Well, I don't.
220
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:22,690
What are you doing?
221
00:13:22,768 --> 00:13:26,033
A guy comes in, brings his goat
and then eats stuff off my table...
222
00:13:26,105 --> 00:13:29,336
and make a whole lot of noise
over there, disturbing the peace.
223
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:31,808
Hello. Operator?
Get me the police.
224
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:34,675
You can say adios
to your Puerto Rican Marx Brothers...
225
00:13:34,747 --> 00:13:37,307
Julio, Chico and Mofongo.
226
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:51,425
Lamont, what's a six-letter word
for a TV show starring William Conrad?
227
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,432
- Fink.
- "Fink. "
228
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,697
That's four letters.
That don't fit.
229
00:13:57,770 --> 00:14:01,206
- Well, it fits you perfectly.
- What are you talking about?
230
00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:03,264
About how you
reported Julio to the police.
231
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,367
I didn't reportJulio
to the police.
232
00:14:05,444 --> 00:14:07,935
I reported Julio's goat
to the police.
233
00:14:08,013 --> 00:14:10,846
And when I found out it wasn't illegal
to have a goat...
234
00:14:10,916 --> 00:14:13,180
that's when I reported
Julio to the police.
235
00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:16,915
What did you report? That he was making
noise because he's rebuilding...
236
00:14:16,989 --> 00:14:20,288
or that he was playing his radio
and listening to a Spanish station?
237
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,294
I just said
that his place was a eyesore.
238
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:31,870
- A what?
- A eyesore and a mess. You can do that.
239
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:36,704
When someone is destroying the beauty
of the community, you can report him.
240
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:39,573
- Are you serious?
- That's what they told me...
241
00:14:39,645 --> 00:14:43,411
- when I called the building inspector.
- You called the building inspector?
242
00:14:43,482 --> 00:14:47,942
Yeah, I called because I don't want
the beauty of my community destroyed.
243
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:51,854
I don't how you can say that, Pop,
living in the middle of this heap.
244
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:54,552
There are heaps
and there are heaps.
245
00:14:54,627 --> 00:14:57,619
This is a coordinated heap.
246
00:14:57,696 --> 00:15:01,962
You're turning against a man because
he happens to be from another country.
247
00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:05,595
How would you like it if the guy next
door turned against people from Africa?
248
00:15:05,671 --> 00:15:08,868
I don't care, as long as they don't
turn against people from St. Louis.
249
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:14,010
- What's the use?
- Listen. Wait a minute now.
250
00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:16,274
That's not the reason
I don't like him.
251
00:15:16,348 --> 00:15:18,839
The reason I don't like him
because he's giving us competition...
252
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,852
and that's the only reason.
253
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,286
- That's the only reason?
- That's the only reason.
254
00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:27,553
We can't let every Tom, Dick and Chico
move in here with their bongo drums.
255
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:32,090
I'll get it.
256
00:15:32,164 --> 00:15:34,496
Try to tell you,
you don't even listen to nobody.
257
00:15:39,171 --> 00:15:40,604
- Hey, Lamont.
- What?
258
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,641
- It's for you.
- Who is it?
259
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:45,802
- It's your friend, the goat lover.
- Stop calling him that.
260
00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:48,813
- Hey, Julio. Come on in.
- I'm sorry to bother you, man...
261
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:51,042
but I'd like to talk
to your father.
262
00:15:51,116 --> 00:15:53,584
Did you hear that?
Julio wants to talk to you.
263
00:15:53,652 --> 00:15:58,487
What's he wanna talk about? I'm busy.
I got a crossword puzzle waiting for me.
264
00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:02,288
I have decided that maybe
you're not such a bad chamaco.
265
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:05,091
Who you calling a chamaco,
you chamaco?
266
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:07,564
It just means "fellow,"
that's all.
267
00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,625
You have to forgive my father, Julio.
He doesn't know a word of Spanish.
268
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:12,796
Who don't know
a word of Spanish?
269
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:21,936
I know all that stuff. And I know some
cuss words too. You wanna hear some?
270
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,583
The man came
to talk to you, Pop.
271
00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:28,313
At least listen to what he's got
to say. Sit down, Julio.
272
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:29,820
Thanks, Lamont.
273
00:16:29,888 --> 00:16:32,914
Mr. Sanford, I've been thinking
about what happened, you know...
274
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,256
and maybe I make a mistake.
275
00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:37,795
Here I am a newcomer
in the neighborhood.
276
00:16:37,863 --> 00:16:43,165
I move in next door to you, and instead
of coming over and introduce myself...
277
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:46,398
I make all kinds of noise
and bother you.
278
00:16:46,472 --> 00:16:51,432
I apologize. And together with my
apology, I bring you a gift. Yes, sir.
279
00:16:53,545 --> 00:16:56,742
You grow this
in your own garden?
280
00:16:56,815 --> 00:16:59,215
We don't smoke this stuff.
281
00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:02,583
I didn't grow it, but I made it.
That's goat cheese.
282
00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,952
Then why don't you
give it to your goat?
283
00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:09,855
You don't understand. Goat cheese
is good for you. It's very healthy.
284
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,896
I only like American cheese...
285
00:17:11,964 --> 00:17:14,831
and you can't get American cheese
from a Puerto Rican goat.
286
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,698
- What's the matter with you? He gave...
- Wait a minute.
287
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,295
- You will not take the cheese?
- I don't want cheese.
288
00:17:20,372 --> 00:17:24,138
Take it and put it back
in your goat.
289
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,007
You are an impossible
person, Mr. Sanford.
290
00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:30,276
Like a fool, I try to be your friend,
but you refuse.
291
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:33,849
You will not see me
around here again, you sangano.
292
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:36,752
- What?
- You heard me. You are a big dummy.
293
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:39,017
Who you calling a dummy,
you big dummy?
294
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:41,025
Where I come from
them is fighting words.
295
00:17:48,100 --> 00:17:50,864
- Julio, I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry too, Lamont.
296
00:17:50,936 --> 00:17:53,234
I'm sorry that you are
the son of a sangano.
297
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:56,365
You said it again, didn't you?
Back off now.
298
00:17:56,442 --> 00:18:00,776
Say it again. I dare you to say it.
Let me hear it. Let me hear it.
299
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:04,748
I just wanna hear it one time.
You say it again and I'll...
300
00:18:11,657 --> 00:18:14,820
- You did it again, didn't you?
- Did what? You heard what he called me.
301
00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:17,487
I heard him, and I also heard you.
And he's right. You are impossible.
302
00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,861
- There he is again.
- Wait a minute.
303
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,494
- I'll answer the door.
- Just let him in. Let him in.
304
00:18:24,570 --> 00:18:26,094
Say it again.
305
00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:29,470
Good morning. My name is Watkins.
I'm looking for Mr. Fred Sanford.
306
00:18:29,541 --> 00:18:31,509
I'm the county
building inspector.
307
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:34,307
Lamont, this is the building inspector.
Come in, Mr. Watkins.
308
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:37,075
- Have a seat right over here.
- Thank you.
309
00:18:37,149 --> 00:18:39,447
Well, exactly what is
your complaint, Mr. Sanford?
310
00:18:39,518 --> 00:18:43,784
I mean, against your neighbor,
Mr. Julio "Fulantes. "
311
00:18:43,856 --> 00:18:45,585
It's Julio Fuentes.
312
00:18:45,657 --> 00:18:48,057
Well, what's your
complaint against him?
313
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:50,220
My complaint is that I don't
want him living next door to me.
314
00:18:50,295 --> 00:18:52,763
Well, that's not really a complaint.
That sounds personal.
315
00:18:52,831 --> 00:18:57,666
Well, let's say then, I personally
don't want him living next door to me.
316
00:18:57,736 --> 00:19:02,070
Mr. Sanford, my department does not deal
in personal matters, only complaints.
317
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,076
- Then change it back to complaints.
- On what grounds?
318
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,704
On the grounds
that his place is unfit to live in.
319
00:19:07,779 --> 00:19:11,215
How can you say that? You haven't
been over there sinceJulio moved in.
320
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:15,481
I don't have to. All I have to know is
my next-door neighbor lives with a goat.
321
00:19:16,522 --> 00:19:20,424
Talk about the odd couple. You'll see
for yourself when you get over there.
322
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,461
Well, I'll just have to get
over there and check him out.
323
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:25,497
Yeah. Check him out
and then chuck him out.
324
00:19:25,564 --> 00:19:28,158
Can he actually
get thrown out?
325
00:19:28,233 --> 00:19:30,667
Well, yes, it's possible. We might
have to condemn his building...
326
00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:33,227
and force him out if he's
violation of the building codes.
327
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:36,274
- Like what for instance?
- There's all sorts of violations.
328
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:38,275
- Faulty and exposed wiring...
- That's him.
329
00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:40,277
- Structural weakness...
- He got that too.
330
00:19:40,345 --> 00:19:43,246
- Unauthorized dumping area.
- I can see that from here.
331
00:19:43,315 --> 00:19:45,875
- And what about Latin lettuce?
- I beg your pardon?
332
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:50,012
- Nothing. He's just imagining things.
- Well, I better get on with my job.
333
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:54,024
Mr. Sanford, if it weren't
for concerned people like you...
334
00:19:54,092 --> 00:19:56,856
we wouldn't catch
all the violations in this area.
335
00:19:56,929 --> 00:20:01,457
We're so understaffed. And I wanna
thank you for being so conscientious.
336
00:20:01,533 --> 00:20:06,368
Well, you see, I didn't want
the beauty of my community destroyed.
337
00:20:06,438 --> 00:20:08,303
Yeah, yeah.
338
00:20:08,373 --> 00:20:10,568
You see, this
is a nice residential area...
339
00:20:10,642 --> 00:20:13,133
and I don't want
no cheese factory next door.
340
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,544
Well, I don't blame you.
Well, thank you, sir.
341
00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,048
- Thank you very much.
- Good-bye.
342
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:21,847
Did you hear what that building
inspector said I was? Conscientious.
343
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,548
- And that's not all you are.
- What are you talking about?
344
00:20:24,623 --> 00:20:28,024
I don't wanna talk about it no more.
I'm going down to the diner to eat...
345
00:20:28,093 --> 00:20:30,186
because I don't wanna be
in this house any longer.
346
00:20:30,262 --> 00:20:33,060
You're gonna stay mad
because I reported that pest next door?
347
00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,123
I told you I don't wanna discuss it.
I'll see you later.
348
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,864
I'll tell you why I did it.
I did it for you.
349
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:41,701
- For me?
- Yeah.
350
00:20:41,773 --> 00:20:44,674
This neighborhood can only stand
so many junkyards.
351
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:46,802
I ain't gonna be
around much longer...
352
00:20:46,878 --> 00:20:49,142
and I wanna make sure
that after I'm gone...
353
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:51,682
that you would be
the king of all this.
354
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,843
Thanks a lot.
355
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,046
See, son,
you don't appreciate nothing.
356
00:20:56,121 --> 00:20:58,851
A lot of sons never appreciate what
their fathers do for 'em and tell 'em.
357
00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:00,619
TakeJohn D. Rockefeller.
358
00:21:00,692 --> 00:21:03,160
He built up a great,
big business in oil.
359
00:21:03,228 --> 00:21:07,164
Did his kid appreciate it? No.
He blew it and became a governor.
360
00:21:08,734 --> 00:21:11,726
- Well, I'll see you later, John D.
- Okay. Well, go on...
361
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,169
and see what happens to you
when I'm not around to protect you.
362
00:21:14,239 --> 00:21:18,175
They'll take you apart
'cause you not a fighter like me.
363
00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:21,610
Look what I got, man.
The building inspector gave it to me.
364
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,810
- I wasn't expecting anything like this.
- Julio, I'm sorry. Don't be mad...
365
00:21:25,884 --> 00:21:29,479
Mad? Why should I be mad?
I'm proud. Yeah.
366
00:21:29,554 --> 00:21:31,488
He said you sent him over...
367
00:21:31,556 --> 00:21:35,492
and he gave me a citation for doing
such a good job fixing up my place.
368
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,893
Look at this. A citation
for neighborhood improvement...
369
00:21:38,964 --> 00:21:42,923
from the Board of Supervisors, Building
Department, County of Los Angeles.
370
00:21:43,001 --> 00:21:44,935
"The owner of this property
has contributed...
371
00:21:45,003 --> 00:21:47,972
to the betterment of his community
by renovating, restoring...
372
00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,838
and generally improving
his home area...
373
00:21:50,909 --> 00:21:54,072
and has thereby earned the appreciation
of his city and county. "
374
00:21:54,146 --> 00:21:57,081
And he said because you was
nice enough to send him to me...
375
00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,083
will I be nice enough
to give this to you.
376
00:21:59,151 --> 00:22:01,278
Yeah. One for you
and one for me.
377
00:22:01,353 --> 00:22:05,380
That's chevere, man. I like that.
Good neighbors do come in all colors.
378
00:22:05,457 --> 00:22:08,290
Lamont, read mine for me.
I can't see without my glasses.
379
00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:11,727
Okay. "Board of Supervisors,
Building and Safety...
380
00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:13,731
Los Angeles, California.
381
00:22:13,799 --> 00:22:17,963
Dear Mr. Sanford,
you will be fined $200...
382
00:22:18,036 --> 00:22:22,200
if the following violations
are not corrected within ten days:
383
00:22:22,274 --> 00:22:25,801
Faulty and exposed wiring,
structural damage...
384
00:22:25,877 --> 00:22:29,176
unnecessary litter,
numerous fire hazards...
385
00:22:29,247 --> 00:22:32,910
unauthorized dumping area,
sidewalk obstruction...
386
00:22:32,984 --> 00:22:35,350
dangerous
and inflammable materials. "
387
00:22:35,420 --> 00:22:37,650
Give me that.
388
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:41,659
Ain't nothing wrong with this place.
This place got a strong foundation.
389
00:22:41,727 --> 00:22:45,595
No faulty wiring. You couldn't find
a better place nowhere in the world.
390
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,598
What are they talking about?
391
00:22:58,143 --> 00:23:00,077
Okay, I'm coming.
392
00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:10,549
Lamont's fixing lunch. I'll call him.
Lamont, it's for you.
393
00:23:10,622 --> 00:23:13,284
No, se�or.
This is for you too. Yeah.
394
00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:14,791
Julio, what's up?
395
00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:17,260
Well, I brought something over
for you and your father.
396
00:23:17,329 --> 00:23:19,354
I really want us to be
good friends and good neighbors.
397
00:23:19,431 --> 00:23:23,959
- What is it? Let me take a look.
- Some good food. I fix it myself.
398
00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:27,095
- All right.
- I ain't eating no "mofungus. "
399
00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:31,131
You mean mofongo. No, you didn't
give me a chance to explain.
400
00:23:31,209 --> 00:23:33,302
- This is not mofongo.
- No? What is it?
401
00:23:33,378 --> 00:23:35,437
This is spareribs...
402
00:23:35,514 --> 00:23:38,506
candied sweet potatoes
and mustard greens.
403
00:23:39,751 --> 00:23:41,685
Look at that.
404
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:47,156
Candied sweet potatoes,
spareribs and mustard greens.
405
00:23:47,225 --> 00:23:50,558
- That's right.
- Lamont, just smell it.
406
00:23:50,629 --> 00:23:53,097
- All right.
- Hey, thanks a lot.
407
00:23:53,165 --> 00:23:55,599
It's nothing, really.
408
00:23:55,667 --> 00:23:58,602
Thank you for fixing
my favorite kind of dish.
409
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,002
- Good. Amigos?
- Amigos.
410
00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,405
Where did you ever learn
to cook a dish like that?
411
00:24:04,476 --> 00:24:07,536
I learned all that while I was living
in New York. Yeah, I lived in Harlem.
412
00:24:07,612 --> 00:24:12,640
Julio, if all the Puerto Ricans was
like you, Harlem would be a paradise.
413
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:36,133
Sanford and Son is recorded on tapebefore a live studio audience.
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