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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,449 [puppet] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:07,825 Have you ever wanted to turn back time? 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:09,116 ...my proposal 4 00:00:09,199 --> 00:00:12,574 that this proposal is a real proposal to propose. 5 00:00:12,658 --> 00:00:14,074 Can you live with that? 6 00:00:14,157 --> 00:00:15,324 ♪ I'm angry at God and I'm angry at Jill ♪ 7 00:00:15,408 --> 00:00:16,658 ♪ She was driving the car ♪ 8 00:00:16,741 --> 00:00:18,491 ♪ It's her fault we lost Phil! ♪ [gasps] 9 00:00:18,574 --> 00:00:19,700 [Will] I wanna show you something 10 00:00:19,783 --> 00:00:21,658 that I found in Mom's closet. 11 00:00:21,741 --> 00:00:23,366 What is this? 12 00:00:23,700 --> 00:00:25,324 [hoofbeats approaching] 13 00:00:25,408 --> 00:00:28,074 ♪ exciting music ♪ 14 00:00:29,991 --> 00:00:31,950 [horse whinnies] 15 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,491 [swords swish] 16 00:00:33,574 --> 00:00:38,658 ♪♪♪ 17 00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:45,074 ♪ tinkling bells ♪ 18 00:00:45,950 --> 00:00:48,908 ♪ romantic acoustic music ♪ 19 00:00:48,991 --> 00:00:51,908 ♪♪♪ 20 00:00:51,991 --> 00:00:55,116 speaking Tibetan 21 00:00:57,449 --> 00:01:02,366 speaking Tibetan 22 00:01:10,616 --> 00:01:15,533 singing in Tibetan 23 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:35,825 ♪♪♪ 24 00:01:37,282 --> 00:01:41,616 speaking Tibetan solemnly 25 00:01:52,991 --> 00:01:55,574 speaking Tibetan 26 00:01:55,658 --> 00:01:57,658 [horse chuffs] 27 00:01:57,741 --> 00:02:02,157 speaking Tibetan 28 00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:07,408 ♪ rushing music ♪ 29 00:02:07,491 --> 00:02:12,324 ♪♪♪ 30 00:02:20,032 --> 00:02:21,199 ♪ abrupt chime ♪ 31 00:02:27,074 --> 00:02:29,825 ♪ gentle harp and bell music ♪ 32 00:02:29,908 --> 00:02:35,032 ♪♪♪ 33 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,157 [Jill] "Begin by closing your eyes 34 00:02:39,241 --> 00:02:43,491 and seeing the moment in time you'd like to return to. 35 00:02:43,574 --> 00:02:46,950 Now surround yourself with the past." 36 00:02:47,032 --> 00:02:51,199 ♪♪♪ 37 00:02:53,032 --> 00:02:55,574 "This trick, if you can call it a trick, 38 00:02:55,658 --> 00:02:58,157 is incredibly difficult to pull off. 39 00:02:58,241 --> 00:03:01,324 It all depends on one thing"-- 40 00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:07,408 [Will] I'm sorry. 41 00:03:09,241 --> 00:03:10,700 - [Jill] For what? - Dad's right. 42 00:03:10,783 --> 00:03:12,825 It's important to be honest. 43 00:03:12,908 --> 00:03:14,908 [inhales, exhales] 44 00:03:29,116 --> 00:03:31,366 Who are these wonderful people? 45 00:03:31,449 --> 00:03:34,825 I made this decision without you for a number of reasons. 46 00:03:34,908 --> 00:03:36,491 Kidneys. Heart. 47 00:03:36,574 --> 00:03:37,825 Lungs. Liver. 48 00:03:37,908 --> 00:03:39,908 [breath heaves] 49 00:03:40,032 --> 00:03:41,991 So much of him is still here. 50 00:03:42,074 --> 00:03:44,074 I'm sorry. 51 00:03:44,157 --> 00:03:46,574 These are the friends you don't get to have. 52 00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:50,866 He's breathing our air. 53 00:03:50,950 --> 00:03:53,032 His eyes read. 54 00:03:53,116 --> 00:03:54,574 A 15-minute ride away, 55 00:03:54,658 --> 00:03:56,908 his heart beats in a woman's chest. 56 00:03:56,991 --> 00:04:00,199 He saved seven lives. 57 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:02,700 But I'd trade 'em all for one more hour with him. 58 00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:06,199 Did you read them? 59 00:04:06,282 --> 00:04:08,157 They're not mine to read. They're Phil's. 60 00:04:08,241 --> 00:04:09,950 They're Phil's gifts. 61 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,032 Not yours. 62 00:04:12,116 --> 00:04:15,157 I wanted him to have this for himself. 63 00:04:15,825 --> 00:04:17,408 If you knew, you would've reached out. 64 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:19,241 You would've answered all of these letters. 65 00:04:19,324 --> 00:04:20,616 You would've invited them all to Thanksgiving. 66 00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:21,991 I'd be passing the sweet potatoes 67 00:04:22,074 --> 00:04:23,491 to his fucking pancreas. 68 00:04:24,241 --> 00:04:25,282 The headlines would read, 69 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,074 "Jeff Pickles saves seven lives," 70 00:04:27,157 --> 00:04:29,741 but Jeff Pickles did not save seven lives. 71 00:04:29,825 --> 00:04:31,241 Phil did. 72 00:04:31,324 --> 00:04:33,241 That was his gift to them, 73 00:04:33,324 --> 00:04:35,241 and not telling you was my gift to him. 74 00:04:35,324 --> 00:04:36,866 The headlines would not have read, 75 00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:38,741 "Jeff Pickles saves lives." 76 00:04:38,825 --> 00:04:40,866 They did when you hit my boyfriend with your car. 77 00:04:40,950 --> 00:04:43,533 Are you gonna bring that up every time we have a fight? 78 00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,074 [sighs] 79 00:04:45,157 --> 00:04:46,199 I was so angry 80 00:04:46,282 --> 00:04:48,574 when that man threw that flaming pickle jar 81 00:04:48,658 --> 00:04:50,074 at the wrong house. 82 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,282 How could you say that? 83 00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:53,741 I could have begun again... 84 00:04:53,825 --> 00:04:55,241 could move. 85 00:04:56,366 --> 00:04:57,991 Moving isn't moving on. 86 00:04:59,658 --> 00:05:01,616 Do you want me to move on? 87 00:05:04,282 --> 00:05:05,199 [softly] Yeah. 88 00:05:05,282 --> 00:05:07,449 Then blame me. 89 00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:08,533 For what? 90 00:05:08,616 --> 00:05:10,366 I drove the car. 91 00:05:12,324 --> 00:05:13,533 Blame me. 92 00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,449 [no audible dialogue] 93 00:05:15,533 --> 00:05:16,908 I don't understand why you need that. 94 00:05:16,991 --> 00:05:20,408 Because until someone wearing your face said it... 95 00:05:20,491 --> 00:05:22,116 - [Jeff sobs] - I didn't realize how much 96 00:05:22,199 --> 00:05:23,616 I needed to hear it from you. 97 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,449 This is not-- this is... 98 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:29,116 [whispering] It's not how you heal. 99 00:05:29,199 --> 00:05:30,950 Do you blame me for Phil's death? 100 00:05:31,032 --> 00:05:32,241 I can't give you what you want. 101 00:05:32,324 --> 00:05:35,282 Why won't anyone tell me what I already know? 102 00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:37,616 Why won't anyone let me have that? 103 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:40,366 No one will let me have that! 104 00:05:42,032 --> 00:05:43,366 But you will. 105 00:05:46,491 --> 00:05:48,491 You'll say what's in your heart. 106 00:05:50,533 --> 00:05:51,741 You wanna sell the house? 107 00:05:51,825 --> 00:05:52,991 Fine. Sell the house. 108 00:05:53,074 --> 00:05:54,282 - Blame me. - Stop it. 109 00:05:54,366 --> 00:05:55,449 Blame me. 110 00:05:55,533 --> 00:05:57,157 Blame me. Blame me! 111 00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:58,324 - Stop. - Blame me! 112 00:05:58,408 --> 00:05:59,825 - Don't make me do that. - Do you blame me? 113 00:05:59,908 --> 00:06:01,700 Please, just answer the fucking question! 114 00:06:01,783 --> 00:06:03,324 Do you blame me? 115 00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:09,491 ♪ ragtime jazz ♪ 116 00:06:09,574 --> 00:06:11,825 [dance teacher] And a-one, two, three, four, 117 00:06:11,908 --> 00:06:13,658 five, six. 118 00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:14,574 Now knees. 119 00:06:14,658 --> 00:06:16,032 One, two, three, four, 120 00:06:16,116 --> 00:06:17,616 step, five, six. 121 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:18,908 Good. 122 00:06:18,991 --> 00:06:20,825 [Lisa] Why was Jeff Pickles at jazz night? 123 00:06:20,908 --> 00:06:23,616 [Jill] He wants to teach the Dalai Lama the Charleston. 124 00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:25,449 So I told him to come to class. 125 00:06:25,533 --> 00:06:27,700 [Lisa] How do you two even know each other? 126 00:06:27,783 --> 00:06:29,616 [Jill] He lives in my building. 127 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:32,700 [game playing eight-bit version of "You Can Feel"] 128 00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:35,700 [bells dinging] 129 00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:39,700 [Lisa] Did you invite him to the bar? 130 00:06:39,783 --> 00:06:41,032 Yeah. 131 00:06:41,116 --> 00:06:42,032 He said he'd come, but you never know. 132 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:43,533 Does he drink? 133 00:06:43,616 --> 00:06:45,991 No, but people are always buying him shots, 134 00:06:46,074 --> 00:06:48,074 which is great, 'cause then he gives them to me 135 00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:50,533 and designated-drivers me home. 136 00:06:50,616 --> 00:06:52,241 [Mr. Pickles voice] Nice playing, friend. 137 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,533 Wait, are you fucking Jeff Pickles? 138 00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,324 Oh, my God. 139 00:06:56,408 --> 00:06:58,866 So what are the rules? Can we curse around him? 140 00:06:58,950 --> 00:07:01,282 You treat him like a normal person. 141 00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,241 Who transitions between the real world 142 00:07:03,324 --> 00:07:04,741 and the magical realm of puppets 143 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,700 via a pickle barrel with a parachute on it. 144 00:07:06,783 --> 00:07:09,533 Just don't, like, pepper him with dumb questions, okay? 145 00:07:09,616 --> 00:07:11,282 Yeah. Obviously. 146 00:07:11,366 --> 00:07:13,908 Is it true you're completely celibate? 147 00:07:13,991 --> 00:07:15,241 Only in Japan. 148 00:07:15,324 --> 00:07:17,116 Do you have a girlfriend? 149 00:07:17,199 --> 00:07:18,074 No. 150 00:07:18,157 --> 00:07:19,449 Is Sy the Wide-Eyed Fly death? 151 00:07:19,533 --> 00:07:21,825 No, but a lot of people ask me that. 152 00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:24,074 Who's the most exciting celebrity you've ever met? 153 00:07:24,157 --> 00:07:25,491 Julie Andrews. 154 00:07:25,574 --> 00:07:27,408 - [Lisa] What? No way! - [Jake laughing] 155 00:07:27,491 --> 00:07:28,908 - Oh, my God. - What was she like? 156 00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,408 A hurricane. 157 00:07:30,491 --> 00:07:32,408 Mr. Pickles? 158 00:07:32,491 --> 00:07:33,950 The folks over there wanted you to know 159 00:07:34,032 --> 00:07:36,533 you can drink "anything at all" on their tab. 160 00:07:36,616 --> 00:07:37,658 Ah. 161 00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:41,157 - Thank you. - [Lisa chuckles] 162 00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,616 [whistles fanfare] 163 00:07:42,700 --> 00:07:44,074 Charge! 164 00:07:44,157 --> 00:07:46,199 [gulping cartoonishly] 165 00:07:46,282 --> 00:07:48,741 I feel like there's more steps tonight. 166 00:07:48,825 --> 00:07:50,199 They might've put some in. 167 00:07:50,282 --> 00:07:54,282 Did you know that you can actually rent out 168 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:57,408 the New York Public Library 169 00:07:57,491 --> 00:08:01,616 for a private function for $60,000? 170 00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:03,157 - Why do you know that? - [giggles] 171 00:08:03,241 --> 00:08:04,783 I think I'm gonna puke. 172 00:08:04,866 --> 00:08:07,199 No, you--you're not gonna puke, 'cause you're right here. 173 00:08:07,282 --> 00:08:09,533 Too many people like you. 174 00:08:09,616 --> 00:08:11,241 No. 175 00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:13,116 No one said you had to drink the thank-you drinks. 176 00:08:13,199 --> 00:08:14,324 [both laugh] 177 00:08:14,408 --> 00:08:16,574 - I'm a bag of liquid. - Keys? 178 00:08:16,658 --> 00:08:17,950 I can open my door. 179 00:08:18,032 --> 00:08:19,616 - I know you can. - Stop... 180 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:21,116 And that's what I'm gonna let you do right now. 181 00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:21,950 ...yelling at me. 182 00:08:22,032 --> 00:08:24,658 [exhales] 183 00:08:24,741 --> 00:08:25,783 Whoo! 184 00:08:25,866 --> 00:08:28,533 [both chuckle] 185 00:08:28,616 --> 00:08:30,783 I like your dance friends. 186 00:08:32,366 --> 00:08:33,574 That's good. 187 00:08:35,074 --> 00:08:35,991 Good night. 188 00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:37,408 Good night. 189 00:08:37,491 --> 00:08:40,199 ♪ wholesome acoustic music ♪ 190 00:08:40,282 --> 00:08:45,408 ♪♪♪ 191 00:08:54,574 --> 00:08:57,366 [ragtime jazz playing from Jeff's stereo] 192 00:08:57,449 --> 00:09:02,574 ♪♪♪ 193 00:09:10,825 --> 00:09:12,324 [jazz continuing faintly] 194 00:09:12,408 --> 00:09:15,491 [rhythmic footsteps on ceiling] 195 00:09:15,574 --> 00:09:20,700 ♪♪♪ 196 00:09:23,324 --> 00:09:24,616 [loud knocks at door] 197 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:27,783 [music stops] 198 00:09:31,783 --> 00:09:33,366 Is the jazz too loud? 199 00:09:33,449 --> 00:09:34,783 Sit down. 200 00:09:39,282 --> 00:09:41,491 On the floor. 201 00:09:41,574 --> 00:09:43,157 Sit down. 202 00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:45,616 Tie your shoelaces together. 203 00:09:45,700 --> 00:09:47,616 [stifles a laugh] 204 00:09:52,783 --> 00:09:54,074 Can I talk? 205 00:09:54,157 --> 00:09:55,866 You'll know when to talk. 206 00:09:55,950 --> 00:09:56,825 Okay. 207 00:09:56,908 --> 00:09:58,741 And sit on your hands. 208 00:10:03,032 --> 00:10:04,991 I'm falling for you. 209 00:10:05,074 --> 00:10:06,491 [inhales] 210 00:10:06,574 --> 00:10:07,700 I love you too. 211 00:10:07,783 --> 00:10:09,991 - You need to stop saying that. - I mean it. 212 00:10:10,074 --> 00:10:12,074 But not in the way that I mean it. 213 00:10:12,157 --> 00:10:14,032 It's not unrequited. 214 00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:15,658 Then kiss me. 215 00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:19,658 I don't think I have room in my life 216 00:10:19,741 --> 00:10:21,241 for the kind of relationship you want. 217 00:10:21,324 --> 00:10:23,157 Every time we have this conversation, 218 00:10:23,241 --> 00:10:25,741 I am told to pretend this is something it isn't. 219 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:29,700 I don't wanna be in a romantic relationship with anyone. 220 00:10:29,783 --> 00:10:31,282 I'm married to my mission. 221 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:34,908 Look around. I'm a monk. 222 00:10:35,616 --> 00:10:38,032 I'm married to the children of the world. 223 00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:40,199 Well... 224 00:10:40,282 --> 00:10:42,074 enjoy watching The Sound of Music 225 00:10:42,157 --> 00:10:43,700 for the 46th time. 226 00:10:43,783 --> 00:10:44,950 That's not fair. 227 00:10:45,032 --> 00:10:46,866 I hope that you and that bouncing lyric ball 228 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:50,282 find the happiness you so richly deserve. 229 00:10:50,366 --> 00:10:52,116 I love... 230 00:10:52,199 --> 00:10:53,741 Sorry. 231 00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:55,116 [grunts] 232 00:10:55,199 --> 00:10:57,449 ...our friendship. 233 00:10:57,533 --> 00:10:58,616 I wanna protect it. 234 00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,449 This isn't a friendship. 235 00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,449 This is me in love with you. 236 00:11:02,533 --> 00:11:04,282 I'm in love with you too... 237 00:11:04,366 --> 00:11:05,616 as a friend. 238 00:11:05,700 --> 00:11:07,783 If we can't be more than friends, 239 00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:09,866 I don't wanna be friends at all. 240 00:11:09,950 --> 00:11:12,282 ♪ melancholy music ♪ 241 00:11:12,366 --> 00:11:15,116 Either this moves forward... 242 00:11:15,199 --> 00:11:16,783 or it doesn't exist. 243 00:11:16,866 --> 00:11:20,741 ♪♪♪ 244 00:11:20,825 --> 00:11:22,491 I don't know what to tell you. 245 00:11:22,574 --> 00:11:26,491 ♪♪♪ 246 00:11:26,574 --> 00:11:29,783 Then it doesn't exist. 247 00:11:29,866 --> 00:11:31,157 Come on. 248 00:11:31,241 --> 00:11:32,991 Don't-- 249 00:11:33,074 --> 00:11:34,032 [sighs] 250 00:11:37,574 --> 00:11:39,741 It's for the best. 251 00:11:42,866 --> 00:11:44,241 - [door clicks shut] - Hey. 252 00:11:45,366 --> 00:11:46,908 How you feeling this morning? 253 00:11:51,491 --> 00:11:52,700 [door clicks open] 254 00:11:52,783 --> 00:11:54,324 [Jill] I'm so excited you came. 255 00:11:54,408 --> 00:11:56,324 [indistinct conversation] 256 00:11:56,408 --> 00:11:59,157 ♪ acoustic guitar music ♪ 257 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:01,324 ♪♪♪ 258 00:12:01,408 --> 00:12:02,366 I'm gonna warn you: 259 00:12:02,449 --> 00:12:03,741 my friends are really good at trivia. 260 00:12:03,825 --> 00:12:04,700 [chuckles] 261 00:12:04,783 --> 00:12:07,032 You seem like you can keep up. 262 00:12:07,116 --> 00:12:08,866 ♪♪♪ 263 00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:10,700 [boyfriend, yelling] Maybe you're who you are 264 00:12:10,783 --> 00:12:11,825 - and I'm who I am... - [woman] Oh, really? 265 00:12:11,908 --> 00:12:13,741 ...and we're just never gonna see eye-to-eye 266 00:12:13,825 --> 00:12:15,408 about, I don't know, everything! 267 00:12:15,491 --> 00:12:18,199 ♪♪♪ 268 00:12:18,282 --> 00:12:20,241 [sighs] Jeez. 269 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:22,783 [door clicks open] 270 00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,700 [all giggling] 271 00:12:24,783 --> 00:12:26,116 Wait, should I bring a coat? 272 00:12:26,199 --> 00:12:28,199 [Lisa] No, you'll just get drunk and lose it. 273 00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:29,574 [laughter] 274 00:12:29,658 --> 00:12:31,533 I'm really glad we threw a party. 275 00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:33,783 [laughter fades] 276 00:12:33,866 --> 00:12:35,783 [door clicks open] 277 00:12:37,449 --> 00:12:39,032 [mover] Just--no, like this. 278 00:12:39,116 --> 00:12:40,533 Just hold it like this. 279 00:12:40,616 --> 00:12:41,783 [mover] No, like this, dude. 280 00:12:41,866 --> 00:12:43,408 You do this every time. Hold it like this. 281 00:12:43,491 --> 00:12:45,408 - This is! - No! Like this. 282 00:12:45,491 --> 00:12:47,449 - Like this. - No, like this! 283 00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:50,282 ♪ melancholy vocalizations ♪ 284 00:12:50,366 --> 00:12:51,783 ♪♪♪ 285 00:12:51,866 --> 00:12:54,908 Oh, um, actually... 286 00:12:54,991 --> 00:12:59,408 it is, uh, Second Street, not Second Avenue. 287 00:12:59,491 --> 00:13:00,741 New York, New York, 288 00:13:00,825 --> 00:13:03,866 one-zero-zero-one-three. 289 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,574 Thank you. 290 00:13:05,658 --> 00:13:06,908 Oh, you forgot one. 291 00:13:06,991 --> 00:13:10,491 ♪ Change, it's a lot of things ♪ 292 00:13:10,574 --> 00:13:13,449 ♪ Strange, oh, the fear it brings ♪ 293 00:13:13,533 --> 00:13:14,950 ♪ Change ♪ 294 00:13:15,032 --> 00:13:18,825 ♪ It takes you miles from home ♪ 295 00:13:18,908 --> 00:13:21,408 ♪ It brings your pain ♪ 296 00:13:21,491 --> 00:13:23,199 ♪ Into precious view ♪ 297 00:13:23,282 --> 00:13:26,408 ♪ Strange, but refreshes you ♪ 298 00:13:26,491 --> 00:13:27,783 ♪ Change ♪ 299 00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:31,950 ♪ The ticking of life's metronome ♪ 300 00:13:32,032 --> 00:13:34,616 ♪ I understand why ♪ 301 00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:39,491 ♪ You're contrary, love ♪ 302 00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:41,825 ♪ Change is sweet ♪ 303 00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:46,825 ♪ But scary, love ♪ 304 00:13:46,908 --> 00:13:48,741 From, uh, Sigma Tau Delta. 305 00:13:48,825 --> 00:13:50,199 Okay, thank you. 306 00:13:50,282 --> 00:13:54,991 ♪♪♪ 307 00:13:56,282 --> 00:13:58,783 ♪ I know I'm wry ♪ 308 00:13:58,866 --> 00:14:03,825 ♪ But don't out-wryness me ♪ 309 00:14:03,908 --> 00:14:07,449 ♪ Just be grateful ♪ 310 00:14:07,533 --> 00:14:10,491 ♪ Minus me ♪ 311 00:14:10,574 --> 00:14:14,991 ♪ Change, it's a lot of things ♪ 312 00:14:15,074 --> 00:14:17,366 I miss you. 313 00:14:17,449 --> 00:14:20,157 [ragtime jazz playing] 314 00:14:20,241 --> 00:14:25,324 ♪♪♪ 315 00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:40,324 [knock at door] 316 00:14:40,408 --> 00:14:41,741 May I enter? 317 00:14:43,408 --> 00:14:45,074 Your Holiness. 318 00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:50,616 A gift of thanks 319 00:14:50,700 --> 00:14:53,324 for welcoming me on your program. 320 00:14:53,408 --> 00:14:55,366 I made this creation just for you. 321 00:14:55,449 --> 00:14:58,533 Salvador Dalai Lama. 322 00:14:58,616 --> 00:15:00,533 He loves to paint... 323 00:15:00,616 --> 00:15:02,533 and paints to love. 324 00:15:04,199 --> 00:15:06,449 That's nice. Thank you. 325 00:15:06,533 --> 00:15:09,658 This was not the reaction I was hoping for. 326 00:15:09,741 --> 00:15:12,574 - I'm...distracted today. - [Dalai Lama] Mm. 327 00:15:12,658 --> 00:15:13,783 Ah. 328 00:15:16,032 --> 00:15:17,741 What's her name? 329 00:15:17,825 --> 00:15:19,908 It's not-- I-I shouldn't bother you. 330 00:15:19,991 --> 00:15:23,116 I once fell madly in love with a woman. 331 00:15:23,199 --> 00:15:26,449 She had brown hair and brown eyes. 332 00:15:26,533 --> 00:15:28,616 She lived on a mountain. 333 00:15:28,700 --> 00:15:31,366 I was not supposed to love her. 334 00:15:31,449 --> 00:15:32,700 But I did. 335 00:15:32,783 --> 00:15:35,324 And it cost me everything. 336 00:15:35,408 --> 00:15:36,658 When was this? 337 00:15:36,741 --> 00:15:39,074 1706. 338 00:15:39,157 --> 00:15:40,241 Ah. 339 00:15:44,991 --> 00:15:48,116 Do you ever regret having a lifestyle that... 340 00:15:48,199 --> 00:15:49,241 [sighs] 341 00:15:49,324 --> 00:15:52,866 ...prevents us from having intimate relationships? 342 00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:54,282 Jeff, 343 00:15:54,366 --> 00:15:56,574 I am a monk. 344 00:15:56,658 --> 00:15:58,574 You are not a monk. 345 00:15:58,658 --> 00:16:02,700 You are children's puppet guy. 346 00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:06,574 The problem with this woman is about you. 347 00:16:06,658 --> 00:16:10,741 Your calling is to raise the world's children. 348 00:16:10,825 --> 00:16:12,991 But perhaps what's stopping you 349 00:16:13,074 --> 00:16:16,199 is that you are afraid to have your own. 350 00:16:19,366 --> 00:16:21,199 [high-pitched voice] Because of your mom 351 00:16:21,282 --> 00:16:23,032 abandoning you. 352 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,032 Is that what you are afraid of? 353 00:16:27,866 --> 00:16:29,449 I'm afraid I'll never be happy. 354 00:16:29,533 --> 00:16:30,908 Mm. 355 00:16:30,991 --> 00:16:34,282 Happiness is a thing 356 00:16:34,366 --> 00:16:36,491 that happens in the now. 357 00:16:36,574 --> 00:16:38,449 It is fleeting. 358 00:16:38,533 --> 00:16:40,157 It exists, 359 00:16:40,241 --> 00:16:41,783 and then it does not. 360 00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:46,116 There is only the pleasure before the pain, 361 00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:49,074 the smile before the suffering. 362 00:16:49,157 --> 00:16:52,449 We could only be truly happy 363 00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:55,533 if we could freeze time forever. 364 00:16:55,616 --> 00:16:57,366 But we can't. 365 00:16:57,449 --> 00:17:00,408 That is impossible. 366 00:17:00,491 --> 00:17:03,324 Is it worth it? 367 00:17:03,408 --> 00:17:04,658 Dying for your love? 368 00:17:05,950 --> 00:17:10,408 When love has hold of your heart, 369 00:17:10,491 --> 00:17:12,658 you go. 370 00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,616 Go like a stallion. 371 00:17:14,700 --> 00:17:17,658 ♪ energetic music ♪ 372 00:17:17,741 --> 00:17:18,866 ♪♪♪ 373 00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,449 Thank you. 374 00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,991 But remember: 375 00:17:22,074 --> 00:17:24,241 I get reincarnated. 376 00:17:24,324 --> 00:17:27,658 ♪♪♪ 377 00:17:27,741 --> 00:17:28,866 [Jeff gasps] 378 00:17:30,658 --> 00:17:33,324 Jill! 379 00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:34,574 Jill! 380 00:17:34,658 --> 00:17:36,116 ♪♪♪ 381 00:17:36,199 --> 00:17:37,741 Jill! 382 00:17:37,825 --> 00:17:42,950 ♪♪♪ 383 00:17:50,032 --> 00:17:50,991 - [car horn honks] - Ooh, jeez. 384 00:17:51,074 --> 00:17:52,866 - Sorry! - [driver] Son of a bitch! 385 00:17:52,950 --> 00:17:55,032 [car horns honking] 386 00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,282 Jill! 387 00:18:00,950 --> 00:18:03,950 [indistinct conversations and laughter] 388 00:18:06,866 --> 00:18:10,282 ♪ traditional Italian music ♪ 389 00:18:10,366 --> 00:18:13,241 [people cheering in Italian] 390 00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:15,700 [bellows] Jill! 391 00:18:15,783 --> 00:18:17,991 [air rushing in slow motion] 392 00:18:18,074 --> 00:18:19,658 [gasps] 393 00:18:21,908 --> 00:18:24,991 [complete silence] 394 00:19:00,533 --> 00:19:02,449 [dollar bills rustle] 395 00:19:12,366 --> 00:19:13,574 [sound rushes back] 396 00:19:13,658 --> 00:19:15,282 [cannoli mascot shouts] 397 00:19:15,366 --> 00:19:17,658 shouts in Italian 398 00:19:17,741 --> 00:19:18,783 Jeff? 399 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,700 I'm sorry. 400 00:19:22,783 --> 00:19:25,366 What are you doing here? 401 00:19:25,449 --> 00:19:28,449 I wanna have the conversation we should've had that night. 402 00:19:31,741 --> 00:19:34,241 Well, we could go somewhere and grab a coffee. 403 00:19:34,324 --> 00:19:35,616 I lied to you... 404 00:19:35,700 --> 00:19:39,324 when I said we couldn't be together because of my job. 405 00:19:39,408 --> 00:19:41,074 Truth is... 406 00:19:41,157 --> 00:19:43,241 I'm afraid of the pain it would cause if you left. 407 00:19:44,866 --> 00:19:45,700 And now that's all I have. 408 00:19:45,783 --> 00:19:46,866 So... 409 00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,658 Also, Julie Andrews meant nothing. 410 00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:51,950 Also, I know 411 00:19:52,032 --> 00:19:53,366 that you've had a lifelong fantasy 412 00:19:53,449 --> 00:19:57,324 about getting married in the New York Public Library. 413 00:19:57,408 --> 00:20:01,908 But $60,000 is just too much to spend on anything... 414 00:20:05,241 --> 00:20:07,074 ...in my opinion, you know? 415 00:20:09,157 --> 00:20:10,741 Could you say something? [chuckles] 416 00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:12,241 Please? 417 00:20:16,241 --> 00:20:17,908 It includes catering. 418 00:20:20,324 --> 00:20:21,324 You read the fine print. 419 00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:22,866 I Google things. 420 00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:24,700 I don't like to spend money on myself. 421 00:20:24,783 --> 00:20:27,074 I don't like not talking to you. 422 00:20:31,991 --> 00:20:33,533 I beat your pinball score. 423 00:20:33,616 --> 00:20:35,700 - No, you didn't. - Mm-hmm. 424 00:20:35,783 --> 00:20:38,658 Knocked you right off the chart. 425 00:20:38,741 --> 00:20:40,533 It's when I knew you were gone for real. 426 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:44,074 You casually destroyed my life's work. 427 00:20:44,157 --> 00:20:46,408 What about a backyard? 428 00:20:46,491 --> 00:20:48,700 My dad could do the food. 429 00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:50,032 Instead of gifts, 430 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,866 people could give to a worthy cause. 431 00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:55,366 [chuckling] I think we should date first. 432 00:20:55,449 --> 00:20:56,533 Oh! Sure. 433 00:20:56,616 --> 00:20:58,199 Whatever you want. 434 00:20:58,282 --> 00:21:00,449 I'll never leave you. 435 00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:02,658 I'll never lie to you again. 436 00:21:06,866 --> 00:21:09,866 ♪♪♪ 437 00:21:09,950 --> 00:21:14,408 Although we grow older, there is always more 438 00:21:14,491 --> 00:21:17,950 the universe has to teach us. 439 00:21:18,032 --> 00:21:20,408 It is even a greater gift 440 00:21:20,491 --> 00:21:23,741 when one encounters a fellow traveler 441 00:21:23,825 --> 00:21:27,074 with that same childlike spirit 442 00:21:27,157 --> 00:21:29,408 who wishes to grow 443 00:21:29,491 --> 00:21:31,116 and learn 444 00:21:31,199 --> 00:21:34,950 and marvel along with you. 445 00:21:35,032 --> 00:21:37,116 Recognizing this, 446 00:21:37,199 --> 00:21:39,241 I ask you, Jeff, 447 00:21:39,324 --> 00:21:42,324 to look into Jill's eyes 448 00:21:42,408 --> 00:21:44,783 and tell her. 449 00:21:44,866 --> 00:21:47,199 Do you vow to nurture 450 00:21:47,282 --> 00:21:49,616 and be nurtured, 451 00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:53,157 protect and be protected, 452 00:21:53,241 --> 00:21:57,282 nourish and be nourished, 453 00:21:57,366 --> 00:21:59,991 so that you may grow 454 00:22:00,074 --> 00:22:01,950 in this world 455 00:22:02,032 --> 00:22:03,157 together? 456 00:22:08,908 --> 00:22:09,866 I do. 457 00:22:09,950 --> 00:22:11,032 [sobs] 458 00:22:13,700 --> 00:22:16,658 I do blame you. 459 00:22:16,741 --> 00:22:18,408 [sobs] 460 00:22:18,491 --> 00:22:21,700 [sobs, exhales] 461 00:22:21,783 --> 00:22:24,574 [exhaling] Oh, thank you. 462 00:22:24,658 --> 00:22:28,741 [breathing heavily] 463 00:22:37,700 --> 00:22:39,908 I'm sorry about your dad. 464 00:22:44,199 --> 00:22:46,658 ♪ soft resonant music ♪ 465 00:22:46,741 --> 00:22:49,574 [Jeff] We can't turn back time, 466 00:22:49,658 --> 00:22:51,741 but we can steal it. 467 00:22:51,825 --> 00:22:53,658 Does your house have a clock? 468 00:22:53,741 --> 00:22:55,241 Maybe it's on the microwave 469 00:22:55,324 --> 00:22:57,783 or your father's wristwatch. 470 00:22:57,866 --> 00:22:59,533 Today, 471 00:22:59,616 --> 00:23:01,866 I want you to go to that clock 472 00:23:01,950 --> 00:23:04,991 and I want you to turn the time back one hour. 473 00:23:05,074 --> 00:23:07,825 And I want you to spend that hour with your family. 474 00:23:07,908 --> 00:23:10,199 Treat them as what they are: 475 00:23:10,282 --> 00:23:13,116 a precious gift from the universe. 476 00:23:14,366 --> 00:23:16,825 I can't be there every day for you, 477 00:23:16,908 --> 00:23:18,783 but there are people in your life who can. 478 00:23:20,658 --> 00:23:23,616 Your sisters and brothers, mom and dad. 479 00:23:24,991 --> 00:23:27,866 Cousins, friends. 480 00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:29,533 Even your teachers. 481 00:23:29,616 --> 00:23:32,533 ♪♪♪ 482 00:23:32,616 --> 00:23:34,700 [clock beeping] 483 00:23:34,783 --> 00:23:39,616 See, family can be anyone in the world who loves you, 484 00:23:39,700 --> 00:23:42,366 anyone in the world who gives you strength. 485 00:23:44,950 --> 00:23:46,741 Excuse me. 486 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:48,783 Sorry. 487 00:23:48,866 --> 00:23:51,616 Dad says if the rocket explodes, 488 00:23:51,700 --> 00:23:54,324 we're standing in the debris field. 489 00:23:54,408 --> 00:23:55,574 [sighs] 490 00:23:55,658 --> 00:23:58,741 Please just try and enjoy yourselves. 491 00:23:58,825 --> 00:24:00,157 [man on radio] Welcome 492 00:24:00,241 --> 00:24:02,783 to Dragon resupply mission CRS-21. 493 00:24:02,866 --> 00:24:05,491 We're about 15 minutes from our scheduled departure 494 00:24:05,574 --> 00:24:07,616 to the International Space Station. 495 00:24:07,700 --> 00:24:09,241 Or as Astronotter would say... 496 00:24:09,324 --> 00:24:12,408 [speaks gibberish] 497 00:24:12,491 --> 00:24:14,032 ♪♪♪ 498 00:24:14,116 --> 00:24:16,324 Can I call you New Mom? 499 00:24:16,408 --> 00:24:18,825 - Yes. - Well, I don't... 500 00:24:18,908 --> 00:24:22,574 Hershey Park, here we come. 501 00:24:22,658 --> 00:24:23,825 Ow! 502 00:24:23,908 --> 00:24:26,908 Don't you fucking hurt Dolores. 503 00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:33,950 speaking Serbian 504 00:24:43,199 --> 00:24:44,741 I like your purple belt. 505 00:24:44,825 --> 00:24:47,533 We get it, James. You can see. 506 00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:55,032 Sorry about your throat. 507 00:24:55,116 --> 00:24:58,324 - [throat mic buzzes] - You're all that I have now. 508 00:24:58,408 --> 00:25:00,533 It's kind of nice. 509 00:25:00,616 --> 00:25:01,908 [doll chimes] 510 00:25:01,991 --> 00:25:03,366 Jeff... 511 00:25:11,991 --> 00:25:13,366 I'm here. 512 00:25:18,074 --> 00:25:19,991 Do you have an hour? 513 00:25:20,074 --> 00:25:21,825 I want you to meet someone. 514 00:25:24,491 --> 00:25:28,157 So tell me about this $80,000 car. 515 00:25:28,241 --> 00:25:29,658 [chuckles] 516 00:25:29,741 --> 00:25:32,157 How do you know the MSRP of a Range Rover? 517 00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:33,741 Mm, I Google things. 518 00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,533 Do these heated seats work in the summertime? 519 00:25:37,616 --> 00:25:38,991 There's three settings. 520 00:25:39,074 --> 00:25:40,199 Well, now you're just showing off. 521 00:25:40,282 --> 00:25:41,533 [laughs] 522 00:25:41,616 --> 00:25:43,658 [both laugh] 523 00:25:43,741 --> 00:25:44,908 [both sigh happily] 524 00:25:44,991 --> 00:25:50,157 ♪♪♪ 525 00:25:51,408 --> 00:25:53,700 ♪ Where do you turn ♪ 526 00:25:53,783 --> 00:25:56,866 ♪ When there's no one to turn to? ♪ 527 00:25:56,950 --> 00:26:00,116 ♪ Where, when it's so hard to cope? ♪ 528 00:26:00,199 --> 00:26:02,366 ♪♪♪ 529 00:26:02,449 --> 00:26:05,074 ♪ How can you start ♪ 530 00:26:05,157 --> 00:26:08,449 ♪ Make a change, maybe learn too ♪ 531 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:11,199 ♪ What do you need? ♪ 532 00:26:11,282 --> 00:26:14,324 ♪ stirring piano chord ♪ 533 00:26:14,408 --> 00:26:16,825 ♪ Hope is the song ♪ 534 00:26:16,908 --> 00:26:20,366 ♪ When the world is a menace ♪ 535 00:26:20,449 --> 00:26:22,199 ♪ Hope is the open... ♪ 536 00:26:22,282 --> 00:26:24,491 [no audio] 537 00:26:24,574 --> 00:26:27,741 ♪ ...door, ooh ♪ 538 00:26:29,116 --> 00:26:32,991 ♪ Maybe getting back up ♪ 539 00:26:33,074 --> 00:26:35,282 ♪ Again is ♪ 540 00:26:35,366 --> 00:26:37,408 ♪♪♪ 541 00:26:37,491 --> 00:26:40,700 ♪ What falls ♪ 542 00:26:40,783 --> 00:26:45,074 ♪ Are for ♪ 543 00:26:45,157 --> 00:26:48,116 [heartbeat thumping] 544 00:26:52,324 --> 00:26:55,324 [heartbeat continues thumping] 545 00:27:25,866 --> 00:27:28,700 [no audible dialogue] 546 00:27:28,783 --> 00:27:31,783 [heartbeat continues thumping] 547 00:27:46,533 --> 00:27:49,700 [complete silence] 548 00:28:23,408 --> 00:28:26,157 ♪ ragtime jazz ♪ 549 00:28:26,241 --> 00:28:31,366 ♪♪♪ 550 00:29:22,741 --> 00:29:25,741 ♪ music continues ♪ 551 00:29:25,825 --> 00:29:27,241 ♪♪♪ 552 00:29:27,324 --> 00:29:28,449 ♪♪ 35743

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