All language subtitles for Happy Days s06e13 The Kissing Bandit.eng

? Sunday, Monday, happy days ?

? Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ?

? Thursday, Friday, happy days ?

? The weekend
comes, my cycle hums ?

? Ready to race to you ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ?
- ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ?
- ? Oh, baby ?

? Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ?

? There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ?

? It feels so right
it can't be wrong ?

? Rocking and
rolling all week long ?

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? Sunday, Monday, happy days ?

? Tuesday, Wednesday,
happy days ?

? Thursday, Friday, happy days ?

? Saturday, what a day ?

? Groovin' all week with you ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ?
- ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ?
- ? Oh, baby ?

? These happy days
are yours and mine ?

? These happy days are yours ?

? And mine, Happy Days! ?

Happy Days is filmed
before a studio audience.

? Every day, it's
a-gettin' closer ?

? Going faster than
a roller coaster ?

? Love like yours will
surely come my way... ?

Hey, Malph, where's Rich?

The sax solo's coming up.

Fake it. Fake it.

I'm playing the piano.

I... Stop.

Stop the song, okay?

I-I can't fake a sax solo.

Guys, guys, what's
going on here?

- No sax.
- No sax?

You've got to have a sax.

All right, come
on, guys, hit it!

One, two...

Jump in any place.

I'm real sorry, guys.

Sorry I'm late.

What is this?

It's your fault he's up there

because you're late, Rich.

All right, all right.

Al, Al, Al, Al!

You can stop now; Richie's here.

Yeah. Top that one, baby!

Okay, Rich, where were you?

Look, I told you,
I'm sorry I'm late.

What more do you want me to say?

- Well, a lot more than "Sorry I'm late."
- Yeah.

Come on, Rich,
you're half an hour late.

Now, what's the real reason?

You can tell us.

Was it intrigue? Passion?

This is ridiculous.

I mean, you guys are making
a big deal out of nothing.

- Nothing?
- Yeah, so I was tardy.

- I was tardy.
- That's right. -Yeah.

I'm sorry. All right,
dock me, you know.

- All right.
- Fine me, fire me.

What's the worst thing
you could possibly do?

Isn't this a little drastic?

Coming into the station.

We have apprehended the suspect.

Ten-four.

Uh, suspect?

Su... I'm not a suspect.

- No, I'm not a suspect, guys.
- No.

Yeah, that's what they all say.

- Come on, kid, let's go.
- Wait a minute!

Wait a minute! That's our buddy!

You can't take him.

I need an instantaneous
explanation, s'il vous pla�t.

You with the
stripes, talk to me.

We're taking this
man in on a dragnet.

You ever hear of the
local penal code four,

subsection... subsection 66-A?

Si-Six... 66-A?

What is that one?
I forgot that one.

And he wears a badge, huh?

Yeah.

All right, listen up, huh?

It says that you've got to tell

the alleged perpetrator
of his charges.

They do that?

No! No, sir.

They didn't tell
me a thing. Uh-uh.

All right.

We'll do it now.

The charges are
breaking and entry,

fleeing the scene of a crime,

petty theft and
invasion of privacy.

Ah, come on, give me a
break here, give me a break.

My good friend Richie
Cunningham, editor of a paper.

What do you think,
you got Jack the Ripper?

No, no.

What we got here
is the Kissing Bandit!

All right, bring them in.

All-all the way over
here. Right here.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, hurry it up.

All right.

Okay, that's good.

Okay, everybody face forward.

Forward!

That's him!

That's the man who kissed me!

Uh, which-which
one, Mrs. Kowalski?

The innocent-looking one.

I'll remember those burning
lips the rest of my life.

Burning lips?!

Lady, these lips do not burn!

I mean, ask anybody!

I think she better
take another look, sir.

All right, everybody out.

Everybody out.

Dad?

Hi.

You'll never guess where I am.

No.

No.

Yes.

He guessed it.

Okay. All right, so you
got an alibi for tonight.

How about, uh... how
about the night of the 18th?

Oh, do I... That's easy.

Uh, that was a Saturday night.

Uh, so I had a
date with Lori Beth.

Oh, that's right.

That's good, very good.

Uh, where'd you go?

Inspiration Point.

Ooh, the, uh... the
kissing place, huh?

Well, yeah.

I mean, uh, Sweet
Knees and I, we...

Sweet Knees?

Uh, it's a nickname.

She calls me Sizzle Lips.

Sizzle Lips?

I think I need a lawyer.

??

I'm innocent!

? Nobody knows ?

? The trouble I've seen... ?

I just can't stand it.

Poor Richard in jail.

Chain gangs, breaking rocks.

Marion, this whole
thing is a mistake.

Now, they're gonna let him
out just as soon as I finish

filling out this form and
we get the bail posted.

And then we'll figure
out this whole mess.

I can't believe Richie
is the Kissing Bandit.

He doesn't even
kiss on the first date!

I'm gonna turn this
form in to the sergeant.

Here you are.

Yes, sir.

I'll tell you, Cunningham,
that's some kid you got there.

Now, look, my son is innocent.

That's what they all say.
That's good. That's very good.

Good evening.

Good evening, madam.

Are you waiting
for a convict, too?

No, no.

I'm, uh... I'm waiting
to be transferred.

I'm a confidence man.

Well, having confidence
in yourself is very important.

You know, madam, you
have a very honest face.

Tell me, have you
ever given thought

to where you and your husband

would like to spend
your retirement years?

- Uh, Mom...
- Please, dear, we're talking retirement.

Well, my husband has always
wanted to retire in Florida.

I knew it. I had a feeling.

It just so happens that

I am the owner of 60
lush acres in Florida.

But I've always been
taken with the west.

Exactly! 60 pine-studded
acres in Colorado.

Oh, what luck!

Are they gonna
let Richie out, Dad?

Sergeant says we
have to wait our turn.

Oh, Howard, I'm so worried.

Maybe when this is all over,

we should move away
and get a fresh start.

Move to where, Marion?

Well, there's a lovely
spot in Colorado.

Oh, Howard, I
guess it's too late.

I think that
policeman's buying it.

Hi, Howard.

Is there anything I could do?

No, thanks, Al.

We just have to wait our turn.

Thanks for coming down, Al.

Richard will appreciate it.

You know, maybe we
should've lied for Rich.

Yeah, we could've told them
he was kidnapped by Bigfoot.

Everything will be fine
if we do the right thing.

That's right. Marion's right.

You got to be optimistic.

You see, all of us
Delvecchios are all optimistic.

I once had an uncle
that fell off of the top

of a 14-story building.

And when he was
going past the tenth story,

he was heard to say,
"Well, so far, so good."

Sit down, Al.

It was just a
joke. He didn't fall.

I was trying to cheer them up.

- Good. Good job, Al.
- It was terrific, Al, really.

- Yeah.
- Hi.

Sit down, Vernon!

All right.

Mr. C., what's the matter?

What, uh... Did
you pay the bail?

No. I could barely
fill out the forms.

Herman, pay that bail.

All right.

Cunningham's out.

That's all right.

I'll bring him right
to you, Mrs. C., huh?

Cunningham, get out here!

I'm locked inside, Fonz.

Not for long.

Fonz, that's great.

Oh, this one's still locked.

What?

Must be on a different circuit.

Oh, Richard, it's
so good to see you!

Dad, thanks for
coming and getting me.

Were you scared?
Did you cry in there?

Cry?

Well, sure I was scared,

but you can't let the other
prisoners see you cry.

Way to go, Rich.

So I hid my face in the pillow.

Way to go, Rich.

Oh, Arthur, thank you.

We appreciate it so much.

Well, come on, everybody.

Let's get out of
here and go home.

I got to get my
personal possessions.

Sign right there.

Don't forget, Cunningham,

you get arraigned first
thing in the morning.

Arraigned. How could I forget?

Howard, did you hear that?

Arraigned.

Next thing, it'll
be the big house.

Marion, everything
is gonna be all right.

Now stop worrying.

We'll get a lawyer;
it'll be just fine.

Oh, I hope so. I hope so.

Well, good-bye, everybody.

If you're ever in
the neighborhood...

Marion!

Yeah, yeah, sure,
you like me now!

You think I'm the
Kissing Bandit.

Where were you
when I needed you?

Richard, will you calm down.

It's just a jungle out there.

Well, how did it go
with-with the lawyer?

How'd it go? How'd it go?

Well, I'm telling you one
thing, I am not gonna cop a plea.

Well, I should certainly
hope not, Richard.

You're in enough
trouble already.

Marion.

Exactly what does
that mean, dear?

Well, it means that
Richard has the option

to plead guilty to
a lesser charge.

He'll probably get a
suspended sentence.

Probably a year's probation.

And if he doesn't plead guilty?

Then it goes to trial, and
he's either acquitted or...

"Or"? Dad, I don't
want to hear about "or."

Richard, you heard
what the lawyer said.

They have an eyewitness.

Now, that's pretty
strong evidence.

I'm innocent.

Doesn't that count
for something?

Well, of course, it does.

But sometimes innocent
people do get arrested.

Yes, remember when Mother
Kelp was stopped at the border.

Oh, let's not go into
that one, Marion.

Now, look, Richard,

we'll get another lawyer.

I don't intend to sit by and
see you get railroaded into jail.

Hello.

Oh.

Richie, it's for you.

It's, uh, WOW radio.

They want to talk
to the Kissing Bandit.

Oh, they do, huh?

I'll take this call.

Hello.

How's that, bucko?!

That's telling them, Richie.

It's a jungle out there.

I mean, I knew you
were a little busy.

- I sent them up to my place, okay?
- Ah, thanks, Fonz.

They're really
wrecking the hedge.

Hey, uh, what's the word
from the learned counsel?

Oh, the word is
he's not so learned.

Uh, they want
Richie to cop a plea.

Hey, wrongamundo.

It's not that easy, Fonzie.

It's a very messy situation.

You want to talk
about mess, huh?

Mr. C., feast your eyes on this.

"Kissing Bandit suspect caught."

- That's me.
- That's terrible.

Yeah, you're not
kidding it's terrible.

They used my yearbook picture.

Oh, and listen to this.

"The manhunt was
concluded with the capture of..."

They're not even
looking for the real guy.

Oh, brother. Oh, what
am I gonna do now?

Well, how about jumping bail?

Now, look, Richie, it's always
darkest before the storm.

That's "dawn," Fonz.

It's always dark, ain't it?

It's no reason to
throw in the towel.

Fonzie's right.

Now, look, I'm gonna
make some phone calls

to see if I can get
another lawyer,

one who's more positive.

Well, we still have to eat.

Come on, Joanie.
Let's fix dinner.

Oh.

Just bread and water for me.

The only way to
end this, you know,

is to, uh, catch the bandit.

How are we gonna
catch the bandit?

The police can't even catch him.

We lay a plan, Richie.

Set a trap.

- A trap?
- Yeah.

What kind of bait would we use

to, uh, catch a
kissing bandit anyway?

Succulent lips.

And I know just the pair.

Here's what we're gonna do.

Shortcake, here are the tickets.

Right?

Have a great time
tonight at the movies.

Well, Arthur, it is just
so thoughtful of you

to treat us to a night out.

It is my absolute pleasure.

Y-You deserve to relax.

Yeah, well I just don't feel
right about going out tonight.

Oh, Mr. C., it's gonna take
your mind off everything.

You're gonna have a great time.

Oh, the show is 101 Dalmatians.

I-I saw it.

Let me tell you, it's
for the whole family.

Oh, why don't we
sit in the balcony.

You know, that's
where all the hunks sit.

Great idea.

Howard, remember how
we used to sit in the balcony?

Not at a Disney movie, Marion.

Oh, Dad.

Sit anywhere you
want. Have a great time.

Have a wonderful time.

I feel like Eddie Haskell.

All right, look, get down here!

This isn't gonna work, Fonz!

Get down here.

It's trap setting time.

My place, 10:00.

Be there.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

All right. How do
my oranges look?

A little higher.

How do my oranges look?

No, I meant your... Forget it.

Would you just
zip me up, please?

Yeah, yeah, I'll zip you up.

All right, breathe in.

- You breathing in?
- Yep.

Now, what, what makes you
think that this Kissing Bandit

is gonna show up at
this house, anyway?

All right, you can let
your breath out now.

I know his M.O.

That's police talk.

He follows a certain
procedure, you understand?

Yeah.

Number one: comes
through an open window.

Give me your lipstick, Red.

- Lipstick?
- Give me your lipstick.

- Oh, Fonz, I already put the...
- Now.

Oh, Fonz.

Come on.

All right.

Pucker!

Number two:

the last time he was on the
prowl was four blocks from here.

You understand?

That means he's moving in.

Well, he better show up,
'cause I'm not doing this anymore.

Let me tell you something.

You're gonna do this
for as long as it takes

to catch this guy,
you understand?

- Yeah.
- All right.

Now, let me see my work.

Come over here.

Let me see my work.

Rich, from the
bottom of my heart,

you are as cute as a button.

What do you want me to do?

All right, look, look. I need
you to be very sexy, all right?

- All right.
- Talk to me, sexy, talk to me.

All right.

Why don't you come up
and see me sometime?

How was that, huh?

Don't talk.

But think sultry
now, think sultry.

Yeah? All right.

- Roll our shoulders.
- Yeah.

We're gonna roll
our shoulders, right?

Looks like you're rowing a boat.

I don't know.

All right, all right, all right.

Now, do-do me
a favor, all right?

Now, um, uh, an example.

Marilyn Monroe, right?

You seen her a lot
in the movies, right?

Purse your lips.

Here we go, gonna
purse your lips.

Pout a little bit.

I can live with it.
I can live with it.

All right.

Stand sexy like a girl.

Stand like a girl.

Nice. Nice lines.

Rich, sit down.

Would you sit with some...
some kind of sex appeal here?

Oh, all right.

All right?

We're in trouble.

- I hope this guy is nearsighted.
- Yeah, me, too.

That whistling?

Wait, I bet you that's him!

All right.

Rich?

Hey, Howie. Anyone home?

Hey.

All right, talk to me.

What are you guys doing here?

Oh, sorry, Fonz.

Sorry, ma'am.

Potsie!

That's no ma'am!

That's Richie!

Hey, Rich, Rich... nice figure.

All right, now
listen up, listen up!

I ask you once again,
why are you guys here?

We want to help.

Yeah, we always
help ladies in distress.

Hey, get off!

Fonz, will you talk to him?

All right, now, listen,
you can... you can help.

You go upstairs.

You guys are the lookouts.

You take, uh, the north and
the east, the south and the west.

- You got it?
- Yeah.

- Go.
- All right, all right.

We're the best lookouts in town.

Come on, Potsie.

All right.

I'm going to my post, huh?

Well, wish me luck, Fonz.

Hey, course I wish you luck.

Fonzie, you know,
when you think about

what this guy is
putting me through...

I mean, not only going to
jail, but dressing up like this.

I mean, I got the
shoes, I got the lipstick,

I got everything, not
to mention the oranges!

Richard...

do you know how beautiful
you are when you're angry?

Later!

??

Don't be startled, precious.

Oh, my goodness gracious!

Let's just savor the moment.

Oh, heavens to Betsy!

Are you the, uh...

Yes, I'm the man of your dreams.

Then you're not the, uh...

the Kissing Bandit?

Just think of me as a person

spreading my affections
to lovelies like yourself.

You didn't happen to
visit a woman I know

by the name of Mrs. Kowalski
the other night, did you?

Oh, forget about her.

Let's talk about you.

And maybe later,
we'll have another kiss.

- Another kiss?
- On the lips.

On the lips?

Oh, no, no.

No, I'm just not
that kind of girl.

Trust me.

Oh, forget it, Rich.

He's never gonna show.

Oh, sorry, Rich. We didn't
know you had company.

Grab him! Grab him!

It's the Kissing Bandit!

Come on! Let's go!

I got him! I got him! I got him!

Howard, why would Ralph
and Potsie and that lady

be chasing that man
around our house?

That was no lady,
Marion, that was our son!

Why was he wearing
that terrible dress?

That was yours, Mom.

I'll never wear that again.

Quick! Now he's
in Joanie's room!

No, he's in my room!

You don't live here!

Help! Help!

He's after me now!

It's the Kissing Bandit!

Just try it, mister.

Okay, let's see how
tough you are now.

Watch it. He
pulled a vase on us.

All right.

Anybody comes near me,
they're really gonna get clobbered.

Back!

You, too, pops.

"Pops"?

I spend my nights trying to
make lonely women happy,

and this is the thanks I get.

Then you are for sure
the Kissing Bandit?

Hey, you bet I am.

Do you realize that an
innocent boy might go to jail?

Better him than me.

All right, back!

So you thought you
could get me, huh?

Well, nobody can.

Not you, not the police, nobody.

I wouldn't go that far.

Get over there.

All right, Fonz!

Sit down. Sit down.

Take your hat off inside, huh?

You know, you give
lips a bad name, Jack.

- Fonz, you got him.
- Aaayyh.

We got him!

The trap worked, and
on the very first try, too.

You don't even look like me.

I don't have to
go to prison now.

No, no making license plates.

No exercise yard.

No mean wardens.

Gosh, it's good to be
on the outside again.

Officer, arrest that animal!

No, this animal.

Thank you, Marion.

He admitted he was
the Kissing Bandit.

I'll testify to that.

Okay, on your feet.

Fonzarelli, uh,
thanks for the tip.

I enjoy being a good citizen.

Cunningham, uh...

I'm sorry.

You look cute.

One for the road.

Good night, precious.

Come on.

That's gonna cost you, fella!

Marion, how could you?

Really, Mom.

Hey, you were great.

Oh, Fonz...

Ah, hot chocolate.

That should really hit the spot.

There are no marshmallows
in my hot chocolate.

I'm sorry, Arthur,
I can't find them.

I can't drink hot chocolate
without marshmallows.

Richard, don't get
lipstick on the cup.

Oh.

You know, Rich, the more I
think about it, the sillier it is.

You, the Kissing Bandit.

Wait a minute.

Are you saying I couldn't
have been the Kissing Bandit?

No way.

You got it, brother.

Well, I'm no bandit,
but I'll tell you one thing.

I'm a heck of a kisser.

These lips have
seen plenty of action.

If these lips could talk.

I found the marshmallows!

She found the marshmallows.

Aw...

? These happy days are yours ?

? And mine, Happy Days! ?

? Good-bye, gray
sky, hello, blue ?

? There's nothing can
hold me when I hold you ?

? It feels so right,
it can't be wrong ?

? Rocking and
rolling all week long ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Happy and free ?
- ? Oh, happy days ?

? These days are ours ?

- ? Share them with me ?
- ? Oh, baby ?

? These happy days
are yours and mine ?

? These happy days are
yours and mine, Happy Days! ?

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