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1
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,463
Good morning, Mother and Father.
2
00:02:10,548 --> 00:02:12,675
Good morning, Tinashe.
3
00:02:12,758 --> 00:02:14,425
Good morning, Mother and Father.
4
00:02:14,509 --> 00:02:16,262
Good morning, Omma.
5
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,181
Good morning, Mother and Father,
and happy anniversary.
6
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,474
Yes, Meeka.
7
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,144
It is our anniversary.
8
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,189
Today, we celebrate
9
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:31,776
30 years of Zamundan prosperity,
10
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:35,531
30 years of service
to our great nation
11
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:39,534
and 30 years
of delicious fast food.
12
00:02:39,617 --> 00:02:43,122
We want to welcome you all to
McDowell's Zamunda. -
13
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:49,043
The McDowell's menu is in no way
14
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,504
influenced by
the McDonald's menu.
15
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,424
They've got Egg McMuffins.
16
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,300
We've got Egg McStuffins.
17
00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,968
We are also celebrating
18
00:02:57,051 --> 00:03:02,390
the arrival of our new
Beyond Big Mick Burger!
19
00:03:02,473 --> 00:03:06,312
And it's all part of my lovely
granddaughter's campaign
20
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:08,521
to reduce our, uh... our what?
21
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,149
Carbon footprint.
22
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,360
And without using
any animal by-products.
23
00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:16,237
It's just
good old-fashioned grass.
24
00:03:18,449 --> 00:03:20,450
- So there's no meat?
- There's no meat.
25
00:03:22,076 --> 00:03:24,747
Beautiful, leafy taste.
26
00:03:24,829 --> 00:03:26,915
So delicious.
27
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:29,043
Maybe it would taste
much better with a...
28
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:31,795
Pepsi.
29
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:35,799
Pepsi, the official soft drink
of McDowell's Zamunda.
30
00:04:03,661 --> 00:04:05,079
You look tired, Father.
31
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:07,622
Maybe he needs a nap.
32
00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,044
I am the heir
to the throne of Zamunda.
33
00:04:13,127 --> 00:04:15,338
I shall not be shamed
by my two daughters.
34
00:04:15,421 --> 00:04:16,589
Three daughters!
35
00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,444
Yeah!
36
00:04:37,528 --> 00:04:40,531
Behold! Prince Akeem
in his natural element,
37
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,826
cowering at the mercy
of the women in his life.
38
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,928
Semmi, perhaps you would like
to spar with my daughters
39
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,538
and teach them
some combinations.
40
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:49,999
No doubt, you are
41
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,500
their best teacher,
Your Majesty.
42
00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:52,875
It is my daughters that teach me
43
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,269
in the languages
of the modern world.
44
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:55,920
For instance,
45
00:04:56,004 --> 00:04:57,630
are my princely robes
not on fleek?
46
00:04:57,715 --> 00:05:00,259
Oh, my God, Father.
To be on fleek is no more.
47
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,884
Really?
48
00:05:03,512 --> 00:05:05,014
I rather enjoyed being on fleek.
49
00:05:05,096 --> 00:05:06,557
Your father has sent for you.
50
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,891
He has an urgent matter
to discuss with you.
51
00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:12,021
Tell me, Semmi,
this urgent matter...
52
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:14,648
does it concern
my marriage to a suitor
53
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,151
who shall one day sit
on the throne of Zamunda?
54
00:05:17,233 --> 00:05:19,028
I will talk to Father alone.
55
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,451
And how is my father today?
56
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:29,079
He has already ordered
my execution three times.
57
00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:31,415
Oh, then he must be
feeling better.
58
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:32,665
Prince Akeem!
59
00:05:32,750 --> 00:05:34,418
Nexdorian soldiers.
60
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:36,461
I could not stop.
They are coming.
61
00:05:55,980 --> 00:06:01,528
Presenting the supreme leader
of Nexdoria,
62
00:06:01,612 --> 00:06:04,865
the conqueror of countries
and hearts...
63
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,910
...the wrestler of lions,
64
00:06:07,992 --> 00:06:10,079
the tamer of elephants,
65
00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,663
the inspiration for Mufasa...
66
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:21,423
...the most well-endowed man
in Africa,
67
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,050
General...
68
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,386
Izzi.
69
00:06:38,649 --> 00:06:41,485
Prince Akeem.
70
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,487
Whoa, look at you.
71
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:51,036
My condolences this day
for your father, the king.
72
00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,913
Many thanks for your
well wishes, General Izzi,
73
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:56,290
but as you know,
my father still breathes.
74
00:06:56,375 --> 00:06:59,670
Barely, but for how long?
75
00:06:59,752 --> 00:07:01,379
Why have you come here, General?
76
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,841
30 years ago,
you left my sister at the altar.
77
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,300
Oh, here we go.
78
00:07:05,384 --> 00:07:06,384
Now look at she.
79
00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,685
Imani, always a pleasure.
80
00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:20,481
If you had married her,
our countries would be united,
81
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:23,735
putting an end to decades
of suffering for all our people.
82
00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,362
General, throughout the years,
83
00:07:25,444 --> 00:07:27,990
we have tried to help
Nexdoria many times.
84
00:07:28,072 --> 00:07:30,951
I would like nothing more
than to help your country
85
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:32,827
relieve its burden of poverty.
86
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:36,081
Zamunda can only afford so much.
87
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,625
I did not come here for money.
88
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:41,127
I came here for blood.
89
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,298
But not the murder kind.
90
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,800
No, no, no, family blood.
91
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:50,220
Marriage blood, yes?
92
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:57,060
Has your daughter considered
the proposal from my son?
93
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,396
Hey, Prince-o.
94
00:07:59,478 --> 00:08:01,148
My fellow player.
95
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:02,858
Hey!
96
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:04,860
Yes.
97
00:08:04,942 --> 00:08:07,946
I do not think that he and Meeka
will ever happen.
98
00:08:10,199 --> 00:08:12,408
Ever.
99
00:08:17,331 --> 00:08:20,667
There is Bopoto, my daughter.
100
00:08:20,750 --> 00:08:22,543
Perhaps your son can be...
101
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:24,295
Uh, ay...
102
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,464
But you don't have one.
103
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,634
The shame must be unbearable,
104
00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:31,093
as a man, as a king,
105
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:33,971
without an heir with a nut sack.
106
00:08:36,642 --> 00:08:39,144
Thank you for your visit,
General.
107
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,937
Seeing you brings to mind
108
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:43,190
all of my father's
favorite curses for you.
109
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,153
To call you a shit stain
brought him much joy.
110
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,030
I advise you
to reconsider my offer.
111
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:54,618
It is better to be bound
by blood and marriage
112
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:58,996
than be divided
by blood and war.
113
00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,458
Eh?
114
00:09:04,711 --> 00:09:06,504
Hey!
115
00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:17,265
My time has come, my son.
116
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:21,894
You must heed my words
before I'm gone.
117
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:23,739
Please don't leave us so soon,
Your Highness.
118
00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,148
Zamunda needs you.
119
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:27,024
Oh, shut up, Semmi!
120
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,278
You don't have to suck up
to me anymore.
121
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:30,821
I'll be dead soon.
122
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,407
Why couldn't it be you, Semmi?
123
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,783
Yes, Your Majesty.
124
00:09:34,865 --> 00:09:36,868
His life is far too worthless.
125
00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:39,913
His death would make me smile.
126
00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,206
Baba.
127
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:45,793
The throne must pass
to a male heir.
128
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,211
Yes, Father.
129
00:09:47,296 --> 00:09:48,672
A male heir.
130
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,383
Once again, I apologize to you
131
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:54,010
for all of the shame
and disappointment
132
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,554
that my offspring's
genetic makeup has caused you.
133
00:09:56,638 --> 00:10:01,768
My son, it appears
your shortcomings in masculinity
134
00:10:01,851 --> 00:10:04,104
have turned out to be unfounded.
135
00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:06,273
I seen it
136
00:10:06,355 --> 00:10:08,149
in a vision.
137
00:10:09,525 --> 00:10:11,528
You gots a son.
138
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:15,115
It is true.
139
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,701
You have a son, Akeem.
140
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,205
A bastard son.
141
00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:24,291
That is impossible.
142
00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:27,251
The only woman
I have ever lain with is Lisa.
143
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:30,922
Father, I did not sow
my royal oats.
144
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,342
Semmi!
145
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:35,760
Hmm?
146
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:38,263
Tell Akeem the truth at once.
147
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:46,145
Remember in Queens,
night after night,
148
00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,315
you were looking
for the perfect woman?
149
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,774
Yes.
150
00:10:49,857 --> 00:10:53,153
Well, I too was...
how can I say this?
151
00:10:54,738 --> 00:10:57,908
I was looking
for the perfect vagina.
152
00:11:00,451 --> 00:11:01,952
Or any vagina.
153
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:07,083
We scoured the far reaches
of that loathsome city,
154
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,753
searching rather unsuccessfully
for the woman of your dreams.
155
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,510
I've been
watching you all evening,
156
00:11:17,594 --> 00:11:19,971
and I want to tear you apart.
157
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,974
And your friend, too.
158
00:11:25,726 --> 00:11:27,354
I am going to mingle.
159
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,688
I had had enough.
160
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:32,775
And I realized, if I was ever
going to sow my oats
161
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:34,318
on American soil,
162
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:36,238
I was going to need
to find someone
163
00:11:36,321 --> 00:11:37,822
to take care of you.
164
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:40,366
But don't worry,
I never broke our oath
165
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,451
of keeping our identity
a secret.
166
00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,120
A prince?
167
00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:47,164
Yes, a prince.
168
00:11:47,249 --> 00:11:50,710
But he cannot know
that you know who he is.
169
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:54,213
We are undercover Africans.
170
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,049
Africans undercover.
Oh, that's good, baby.
171
00:11:57,134 --> 00:11:59,885
You ain't got to lie like that
to get some of this ass.
172
00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:01,905
But you know what? I'll bump
uglies with your homeboy.
173
00:12:01,929 --> 00:12:04,515
Just let me go throw up
real quick, and, uh...
174
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,561
and then we can, you know,
get it crackin'.
175
00:12:11,313 --> 00:12:13,859
I may not have been
thinking straight.
176
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:16,027
In my defense, it had been weeks
177
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,364
since the last time I was
tended to by the royal bathers.
178
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:22,325
But at the time,
it seemed like a good plan.
179
00:12:25,453 --> 00:12:27,205
Mmm.
180
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,917
I hope you like, uh,
pumpkin pie.
181
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,629
'Cause you gonna get
a whole slice.
182
00:12:36,965 --> 00:12:39,426
That is not what happened,
Father.
183
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:42,178
I remember meeting
this morally bereft woman,
184
00:12:42,261 --> 00:12:44,431
but there was
no inappropriate mating.
185
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,600
She offered me
some of her ceremonial herbs.
186
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:51,937
Princey.
187
00:12:52,022 --> 00:12:53,773
And then, if memory serves,
188
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,692
a wild boar burst into the room.
189
00:12:55,774 --> 00:12:58,028
It came and jumped into my lap.
190
00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,738
And then it began to ram me.
191
00:12:59,821 --> 00:13:02,490
And ram me and ram me, ramming
and ramming! -
192
00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,366
And a foul...
193
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:13,793
You fool,
what have you done to me?!
194
00:13:13,876 --> 00:13:15,461
Go on, son.
195
00:13:15,544 --> 00:13:16,625
- Just kill him.
- Kill him!
196
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:21,342
- So I actually have a son?
- A bastard son.
197
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,847
Why was his existence
hidden from me all these years?
198
00:13:26,932 --> 00:13:31,352
I was hoping you would put
a stem on an apple of your own.
199
00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:36,149
The royal artist made a sketch
of my vision.
200
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:40,486
This is your bastard.
201
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,530
Hear me, Prince Akeem.
202
00:13:42,614 --> 00:13:46,283
General Izzi, he will use
the passing of our great king
203
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:49,328
as a sign
to attack the weak one.
204
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,873
The weak one?
205
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:53,707
Am I the weak one?
206
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,461
I spoiled you, my son.
207
00:13:56,544 --> 00:14:01,048
You are not strong
or ruthless as I am.
208
00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:03,426
You will be assassinated.
209
00:14:06,136 --> 00:14:07,389
Within a week.
210
00:14:07,471 --> 00:14:09,139
Month, tops.
211
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:12,394
Prince Akeem,
follow the thunderbird.
212
00:14:12,476 --> 00:14:14,437
It will take you to your boy.
213
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,897
Follow the thunderbird?
214
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,440
This is madness.
215
00:14:17,524 --> 00:14:19,376
If my family were to ever
find out about this...
216
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,110
You will be safe.
217
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:24,072
Our people will be safe.
218
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:27,491
It is the only way. You must.
219
00:14:34,415 --> 00:14:35,667
Easy, my father.
220
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,086
The end is near.
221
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,923
My funeral...
222
00:14:42,006 --> 00:14:44,717
should be spectacular.
223
00:14:46,845 --> 00:14:48,638
Yeah, it will, Papa.
224
00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:53,225
Let's have it now
while I'm alive.
225
00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,062
It shall be glorious.
226
00:14:59,149 --> 00:15:01,192
In the beginning,
227
00:15:01,275 --> 00:15:02,318
the universe began.
228
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:06,030
Stars, planets,
229
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,073
all the visible objects
in the universe
230
00:15:08,158 --> 00:15:12,745
came to be
with a single purpose:
231
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:16,791
To prepare the way for
the grandest creation of all,
232
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,753
the birth of Jaffe Joffer.
233
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:26,801
But today,
234
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:30,096
we gather for a moment or two
235
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,389
to give much respect due
236
00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:36,352
to the king who made
a difference in our world.
237
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:40,649
Zamundans, I give you...
238
00:15:40,731 --> 00:15:42,107
En Vogue.
239
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:43,860
Oh.
240
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,290
And now... Salt-N-Pepa!
241
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,803
Zamunda!
242
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:01,479
With the passing
of the great king,
243
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:04,566
the world changed forever.
244
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:10,070
When he died,
no one ever smiled again.
245
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,990
Vacations were canceled.
246
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,576
Holidays ignored.
247
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,454
People didn't even
have sex anymore.
248
00:17:22,208 --> 00:17:26,628
Our great king
had gone away forever.
249
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:29,965
Gladys Knight.
250
00:17:42,269 --> 00:17:44,063
Yes, my father.
251
00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,365
I'm going to die now.
252
00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,826
Come now, Father.
Everything is going to be...
253
00:18:50,587 --> 00:18:53,590
I just lost
the greatest man in my life.
254
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,719
Soon, Nexdorian warriors
will assassinate me.
255
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,140
And I have a child
on the other side of the world.
256
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:03,183
Take heart in your grief.
257
00:19:03,268 --> 00:19:04,602
You are king now.
258
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,936
Be as your father.
259
00:19:06,019 --> 00:19:07,521
Bark orders at me.
260
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:09,857
Throw things at me.
It will make you happy.
261
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,030
Prepare the royal jet.
262
00:19:18,700 --> 00:19:20,910
We are going back to America.
263
00:19:22,787 --> 00:19:24,622
Oh, hell no, Your Majesty!
264
00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:26,540
Now, I will find
this bastard of Queens,
265
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,750
and I will look into his eyes,
and if I see
266
00:19:28,835 --> 00:19:31,503
the strength of our ancestors,
I shall know he is of my blood.
267
00:19:31,587 --> 00:19:33,548
Then he must come back
to Zamunda
268
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,215
and take the princely test.
269
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,969
Heir to the throne of Zamunda,
270
00:19:38,051 --> 00:19:40,137
born in America...
271
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,892
...land of opportunity.
272
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,188
What kind of man
do you think he is?
273
00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,857
This bastard.
274
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:55,028
If he has Joffer blood
running through his veins,
275
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:58,197
I'm sure he's destined
for greatness.
276
00:20:06,163 --> 00:20:08,082
You think you look respectable?
277
00:20:08,165 --> 00:20:09,791
I just want to look employable.
278
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:11,516
Ain't nobody gonna hire you
over all these
279
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,128
Mitt-Romney-looking-ass
shmiggas.
280
00:20:13,211 --> 00:20:15,882
Why not? I got sales experience.
281
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,967
Which reminds me...
St. John's is at the Garden.
282
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,969
Now, I want you to take
these tickets up there.
283
00:20:20,053 --> 00:20:21,971
Sell 'em at full freight
until tip-off.
284
00:20:22,055 --> 00:20:24,766
I can't do this shit
no more, man. I really can't.
285
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:27,309
This hand-to-mouth shit,
it's got to stop, all right?
286
00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:28,644
I got to get solid.
287
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,063
I'm in my 30s now.
288
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:31,689
Since when?
289
00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:33,106
Today!
290
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,692
Today.
291
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:37,236
Today is my birthday.
292
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:38,863
And you forgot.
293
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:41,740
Listen to me, young Jedi, okay?
294
00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:43,617
What you need to do
is learn to relax.
295
00:20:43,701 --> 00:20:45,243
I'm your uncle.
296
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:47,454
You stay on the ground with me.
You dig it, son?
297
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,664
Uh, I. Junson.
298
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:51,375
Don't use white voice.
299
00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,001
Present.
300
00:20:54,295 --> 00:20:55,672
I do know smartphones.
301
00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,507
I know technology, all right?
302
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,259
I'm well-versed
in emerging trends.
303
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:02,595
And I'll tell you this, too.
304
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,347
If you hire me,
I won't let you down.
305
00:21:05,431 --> 00:21:07,307
That's really inspiring.
306
00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,935
So, uh, just give me a chance,
Mr. Duke.
307
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,938
Oh, my God, please.
My father is Mr. Duke.
308
00:21:12,020 --> 00:21:14,856
Uh, and my, uh, grandfather
and great-uncle,
309
00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,192
who founded Duke & Duke.
310
00:21:17,276 --> 00:21:19,237
- Uh, please just call me Calvin.
- All right.
311
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:20,488
I'm calling you Calvin.
312
00:21:20,570 --> 00:21:23,281
I noticed here,
under education, that...
313
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:26,035
did it say that
you-you didn't graduate college?
314
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,759
Well, yeah, see,
I was three credits short
315
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,138
from getting my, uh,
business degree,
316
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:30,914
but then my mom got laid off,
and, uh,
317
00:21:30,999 --> 00:21:33,625
you know, I had to, uh,
drop out to help with the rent.
318
00:21:33,710 --> 00:21:36,128
- Is she addicted to drugs or...
- What?
319
00:21:36,211 --> 00:21:38,506
- She have gambling issues or...
- No, man.
320
00:21:38,588 --> 00:21:40,842
Pops, uh, in the picture or...
321
00:21:42,175 --> 00:21:44,595
- My dad was not in the picture.
- Ah.
322
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,390
You know, I went
to boarding school,
323
00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:49,057
so there were months
where I didn't see
324
00:21:49,142 --> 00:21:52,228
my parents, except for breaks,
and, uh, it can be hard.
325
00:21:52,310 --> 00:21:55,440
I mean, I've read
a lot of studies that say
326
00:21:55,522 --> 00:21:57,900
that not having
a dominant male figure at home,
327
00:21:57,983 --> 00:22:00,028
it's so detrimental to a child.
328
00:22:00,111 --> 00:22:02,613
- Do they say that?
- Yeah, they say that.
329
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,490
- Who?
- Scientists.
330
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,951
- Bill Nye did a...
- The Science Guy.
331
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,536
Your guy, uh,
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
332
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:10,829
Do you think that not having
333
00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:15,417
that kind of male role model
could put you at a disadvantage?
334
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,628
No more of a disadvantage
than having a father
335
00:22:18,712 --> 00:22:20,673
who handed you your position.
336
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:22,174
"Handed"?
337
00:22:22,258 --> 00:22:24,719
I-I was not handed anything.
338
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,971
So you're saying
Daddy never donated a building
339
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:29,015
to get you into
an Ivy League school?
340
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:30,641
No. Yeah.
341
00:22:30,724 --> 00:22:33,519
Well, there was
a small off-campus library.
342
00:22:33,603 --> 00:22:36,064
And Daddy never
had to sneak you into
343
00:22:36,146 --> 00:22:38,023
an overpriced rehab facility
344
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:40,108
to cover up
a cocaine addiction, Calvin?
345
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:42,403
It was oxy, and my mom took me.
346
00:22:44,404 --> 00:22:45,781
Kiss my ass, Calvin.
347
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,200
Hey, you know something?
348
00:22:47,282 --> 00:22:48,926
You've been judging me
since I walked in here.
349
00:22:48,951 --> 00:22:51,537
Which sucks because
I am so motivated.
350
00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:53,473
You know what, I-I just
can't wait for them to find
351
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:55,875
blackface photos of you
from the office party.
352
00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,795
I was
Will Smith's Aladdin, okay?
353
00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:00,296
Peace, Calvin.
354
00:23:00,378 --> 00:23:02,298
There was blueface
over the black...
355
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:30,535
Much has changed in Queens.
356
00:23:34,704 --> 00:23:36,540
Yes, but some things have not.
357
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,711
Floyd "Money"
Mayweather ain't shit!
358
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:42,421
He beat that Filipino boy ass.
359
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:44,298
"Pack-a-quando," "Pack-a-mondo."
360
00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:47,593
Wh-Whatever his name is,
he beat that boy ass, Clarence.
361
00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:51,180
And he beat that meshuggener
Conor McGregor, the Irishman.
362
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:53,557
Yeah, 'cause he had to do that
for the blacks.
363
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:55,618
In this political climate,
Black man can't be taking
364
00:23:55,643 --> 00:23:56,978
no ass-whipping
from no white man.
365
00:23:57,060 --> 00:23:58,104
Would've caused a riot.
366
00:23:58,186 --> 00:23:59,396
I was ready to riot anyway.
367
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,208
I wanted to get me
one of them flat-screen TVs.
368
00:24:05,944 --> 00:24:08,573
Well, I'll be damned!
Look who done come up in here.
369
00:24:08,655 --> 00:24:11,701
Hey, it's Kunta Kinte and Ebola.
370
00:24:11,784 --> 00:24:14,327
- Famine and Blood Diamond.
- Nelson Mandela and Winnie.
371
00:24:16,955 --> 00:24:18,558
Those hungry babies
with the flies on their face.
372
00:24:18,583 --> 00:24:20,222
- Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- Whoa, whoa.
373
00:24:20,250 --> 00:24:21,769
That's too much, man.
You stepped over the line, now.
374
00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:23,271
We don't be talking that kind
of shit about the hungry babies.
375
00:24:23,296 --> 00:24:25,315
You gonna have to get out my
chair talking that kind of shit.
376
00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:26,673
Politically incorrect.
377
00:24:26,757 --> 00:24:28,467
Somebody need to whip your ass.
378
00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:30,510
Mm-hmm.
Get up and whip him, Sweets.
379
00:24:30,595 --> 00:24:32,364
Hey, don't be putting the money
in my hand all rough.
380
00:24:32,387 --> 00:24:33,865
Take your ass out of here.
You buy you a Flowbee
381
00:24:33,890 --> 00:24:35,432
and cut your own damn hair
from now on.
382
00:24:35,516 --> 00:24:37,977
Right now I could rip
a new ass in that kid.
383
00:24:38,059 --> 00:24:39,103
It is so good to see you.
384
00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:41,105
Your neighborhood
seems to be thriving.
385
00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:42,332
Oh, that's that gentrification.
386
00:24:42,355 --> 00:24:43,941
You know,
when the colored man here,
387
00:24:44,025 --> 00:24:45,335
this neighborhood
didn't have shit.
388
00:24:45,358 --> 00:24:46,986
When the white man move in,
389
00:24:47,068 --> 00:24:49,447
they got their coffeehouses
and their dog parks,
390
00:24:49,529 --> 00:24:53,159
and my brownstone on Foch
Boulevard is worth $10 million.
391
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,827
Your brownstone ain't worth
no ten million.
392
00:24:55,912 --> 00:24:57,597
My brownstone is, too, worth
$10 million! -
393
00:24:57,622 --> 00:25:00,165
And I'm gonna sell it
and get me a Tesla.
394
00:25:00,249 --> 00:25:02,019
America has certainly changed
since our last visit.
395
00:25:02,042 --> 00:25:05,880
Your Black president finally
united this great country.
396
00:25:05,962 --> 00:25:07,589
Yeah, but it's all
gone to hell now.
397
00:25:07,673 --> 00:25:10,218
We all gonna die.
Just don't know how.
398
00:25:10,300 --> 00:25:11,801
It's gonna be the Nazis.
399
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:13,471
Nazis are back,
400
00:25:13,554 --> 00:25:16,223
but now they dress
like the Best Buy Geek Squad
401
00:25:16,307 --> 00:25:18,351
and they want to kill people.
402
00:25:18,433 --> 00:25:21,895
Anybody could be a Nazi.
You ever notice that, Prince?
403
00:25:21,979 --> 00:25:23,814
Akeem now is an African king.
404
00:25:23,897 --> 00:25:25,097
Well, I'll be damned.
405
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:27,734
You got any kids? I got kids.
406
00:25:27,817 --> 00:25:30,946
In fact, I got one granddaughter
used to be my grandson.
407
00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:33,406
They can turn your penis
into a vagina now.
408
00:25:34,532 --> 00:25:35,785
It's science.
409
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:37,327
I bet they could fix
410
00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:39,372
them long, sloppy titties
y'all got in Africa.
411
00:25:39,454 --> 00:25:40,957
You can't even
squeeze a tit nowadays.
412
00:25:41,039 --> 00:25:42,290
It'll get you fired.
413
00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:44,417
I'm so sorry you can
no longer indiscriminately
414
00:25:44,501 --> 00:25:46,545
touch a woman's body
at your every whim.
415
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:49,006
Oh, it's okay.
I got it in when I was young.
416
00:25:55,096 --> 00:25:57,682
So what you doing back here,
Idiot Amin?
417
00:25:57,765 --> 00:25:59,474
I am actually here
with a purpose.
418
00:25:59,557 --> 00:26:02,019
I have just discovered
that I may have a bastard son
419
00:26:02,103 --> 00:26:04,396
here in this land,
conceived during my last visit.
420
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,025
The long arm of the family court
bring 'em back every time.
421
00:26:08,108 --> 00:26:10,653
How much child support
she getting from you?
422
00:26:10,736 --> 00:26:12,279
The king pays no child support.
423
00:26:12,363 --> 00:26:15,532
No child support for 30 years,
and you came back?
424
00:26:15,615 --> 00:26:17,617
You's a dummy!
425
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:20,663
My son has been without a father
for far too long.
426
00:26:21,872 --> 00:26:23,415
I've seen him.
427
00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,792
That's the kid that's always
out in front of the Garden.
428
00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:27,715
He scalp tickets
down at Madison Square Garden.
429
00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:30,423
He probably over there right now
working the St. John's game.
430
00:26:30,506 --> 00:26:32,008
Their mascot is a big turkey.
431
00:26:32,090 --> 00:26:34,551
Oh, hell no, it ain't.
It's a thunderbird.
432
00:26:36,386 --> 00:26:38,306
"Follow the thunderbird."
433
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,016
Hey! Come on, y'all!
434
00:26:40,098 --> 00:26:42,809
I got five! Got five!
435
00:26:42,893 --> 00:26:46,105
Got five tickets to the
Middle Tennessee game tonight!
436
00:26:46,188 --> 00:26:49,150
Come on, y'all!
You want it, I got it!
437
00:26:49,232 --> 00:26:50,873
Hey, I got five...
Hey, I got five tickets
438
00:26:50,942 --> 00:26:52,086
to the Middle Tennessee State
game, man.
439
00:26:52,111 --> 00:26:53,445
- No.
- Come on, yo.
440
00:26:53,528 --> 00:26:55,729
What better way to spend
your night than paying to watch
441
00:26:55,780 --> 00:26:56,906
unpaid student athletes?
442
00:27:00,076 --> 00:27:01,369
Semmi, look.
443
00:27:04,414 --> 00:27:07,042
It is my potential bastard son.
444
00:27:08,169 --> 00:27:09,461
Akeem.
445
00:27:09,545 --> 00:27:11,087
You are king of Zamunda.
446
00:27:11,172 --> 00:27:13,590
Your noble visage is known
around the world.
447
00:27:13,673 --> 00:27:17,928
You cannot stroll down the
street like we did years ago.
448
00:27:19,888 --> 00:27:21,640
Come on, Middle Tennessee State.
449
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,058
Come on, y'all.
450
00:27:23,142 --> 00:27:25,269
They got
a seven-foot-five center.
451
00:27:25,353 --> 00:27:27,563
Catch him before his knees pop.
452
00:27:30,191 --> 00:27:31,942
Hello.
453
00:27:33,443 --> 00:27:34,987
You want some tickets, man?
454
00:27:35,070 --> 00:27:36,697
No, thank you.
455
00:27:38,281 --> 00:27:42,036
I am King Akeem Joffer,
king of Zamunda.
456
00:27:42,118 --> 00:27:44,121
And I believe that you...
457
00:27:45,748 --> 00:27:47,290
What is your name?
458
00:27:47,375 --> 00:27:49,751
It's Lavelle.
459
00:27:49,835 --> 00:27:52,587
- Lavelle Junson.
- ...Lavelle Junson,
460
00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:55,383
are the heir
to the throne of Zamunda.
461
00:27:56,800 --> 00:28:00,679
My firstborn child
and my only son.
462
00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:05,226
Yes, my son.
463
00:28:05,308 --> 00:28:07,228
Are you putting
the candles on the cake?
464
00:28:07,310 --> 00:28:10,397
31 candles.
I need 31 candles on that cake.
465
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,000
Oh, well, there's only ten
in the pack, so...
466
00:28:12,023 --> 00:28:14,527
What do you mean, only ten?
Why is there only ten?
467
00:28:14,609 --> 00:28:16,171
'Cause I did not have
enough change left over
468
00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:17,445
to get another pack of candles.
469
00:28:17,529 --> 00:28:19,030
It's your nephew's birthday.
470
00:28:19,115 --> 00:28:20,467
Look, just please try
to make 31 candles.
471
00:28:20,490 --> 00:28:22,451
Cut the candles in half.
472
00:28:22,535 --> 00:28:24,494
That's just 20. It's...
473
00:28:26,038 --> 00:28:27,248
Cuzzo! Happy birthday!
474
00:28:27,330 --> 00:28:30,000
Happy birthday!
475
00:28:30,084 --> 00:28:31,419
Happy birthday, cuz!
476
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:33,253
Hey, baby, happy birthday!
477
00:28:38,342 --> 00:28:40,635
Oh, my God.
478
00:28:40,719 --> 00:28:42,304
My African.
479
00:28:42,387 --> 00:28:44,181
I told you
he was gonna come back!
480
00:28:44,265 --> 00:28:46,474
Boy, why you ain't tell me
you was bringing company?
481
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:48,239
- I would've cleaned up.
- Uh-huh.
482
00:28:48,309 --> 00:28:50,770
- So you know this man?
- I definitely know this man.
483
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:52,397
I know this man
all the way live.
484
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,567
You know, I know this man
all up in the crevice.
485
00:28:54,650 --> 00:28:56,777
Yes, it's, uh,
486
00:28:56,861 --> 00:28:58,863
very good to see you again...
487
00:29:01,656 --> 00:29:04,160
- Mary.
- Mary.
488
00:29:04,242 --> 00:29:06,412
- Like the Virgin.
- Oh. Okay, baby. All right.
489
00:29:06,494 --> 00:29:08,455
- Virgin? Not our Mary.
- She ain't no virgin.
490
00:29:08,538 --> 00:29:10,307
You know that. -MARY:
You know what? That's right.
491
00:29:10,332 --> 00:29:11,768
Y'all was doing
that little weak pickup game.
492
00:29:11,791 --> 00:29:13,877
I think he was
supposed to be, like,
493
00:29:13,961 --> 00:29:15,587
the prince or something.
494
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:17,213
He is not a prince anymore.
495
00:29:17,298 --> 00:29:18,757
He is our king.
496
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:21,634
- Oh, he's a king now.
- A king?
497
00:29:21,719 --> 00:29:23,679
Oh, okay, King.
498
00:29:23,761 --> 00:29:26,848
So, you still got that smooth...
scepter?
499
00:29:26,932 --> 00:29:28,099
Hey.
500
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:30,519
No. Nobody want to hear that
on my birthday.
501
00:29:30,603 --> 00:29:32,788
- -Mary. Mary.
- Yo, Mom, for real,
502
00:29:32,813 --> 00:29:33,939
is this dude my father?
503
00:29:34,022 --> 00:29:36,317
Father? Boy...
504
00:29:37,401 --> 00:29:38,568
Mm.
505
00:29:39,737 --> 00:29:42,114
Oh, boy, yeah, that might...
he might be.
506
00:29:42,198 --> 00:29:44,365
He does... Y'all know
I was a ho, though, right?
507
00:29:44,450 --> 00:29:46,117
Y'all know I was
out in these streets?
508
00:29:46,201 --> 00:29:47,636
- You was a ho.
- I wasn't selling it.
509
00:29:47,661 --> 00:29:48,762
I should've been selling it.
510
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,455
In one of them
Fashion Nova dresses.
511
00:29:50,538 --> 00:29:52,349
'Cause I was giving it away,
for sure. - Mary.
512
00:29:52,374 --> 00:29:53,917
I've come back for my son.
513
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:57,378
To have him take his
rightful place on the throne.
514
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:58,963
Ain't nothing happening.
515
00:29:59,048 --> 00:30:01,233
Zamunda, Wakanda, Connecticut...
I don't know where you from.
516
00:30:01,258 --> 00:30:02,593
- Exactly.
- But I've been a force
517
00:30:02,675 --> 00:30:04,260
in this boy's life
since he was born.
518
00:30:04,345 --> 00:30:05,971
Please.
519
00:30:06,055 --> 00:30:07,597
It is the boy's birthright.
520
00:30:07,681 --> 00:30:09,349
I'm only giving him
an opportunity
521
00:30:09,432 --> 00:30:10,934
to have a better life.
522
00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,769
No. Hey, man, for real, look.
523
00:30:12,853 --> 00:30:14,395
I don't know
who you think you are,
524
00:30:14,480 --> 00:30:16,022
but I'm-a tell you
who I am, man.
525
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:17,775
I'm Lavelle Junson, a'ight?
526
00:30:17,857 --> 00:30:19,567
And I don't need no handout.
527
00:30:22,028 --> 00:30:23,154
Hmm? Wait a minute.
528
00:30:23,239 --> 00:30:24,490
- Wait.
- My mistake.
529
00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:26,241
Continue.
530
00:30:26,325 --> 00:30:27,535
Oh, my God.
531
00:30:29,286 --> 00:30:31,121
Do the right thing.
Go ahead, boy.
532
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:35,709
Ooh.
533
00:30:36,751 --> 00:30:39,212
Are those coins?
Are those gold bars?
534
00:30:39,296 --> 00:30:41,589
There's cash.
535
00:30:41,673 --> 00:30:43,800
Hey, yo, uh,
536
00:30:43,884 --> 00:30:45,844
you know, I'm thinking, who am I
537
00:30:45,927 --> 00:30:48,221
to say no to becoming a prince?
538
00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,849
Ma, pack your bags, man. We out.
539
00:30:51,933 --> 00:30:55,270
Amen! Okay, so do I get my own
hut with my private shaman?
540
00:30:55,354 --> 00:30:59,525
We are only offering to take
Lavelle back to Zamunda.
541
00:30:59,607 --> 00:31:01,169
Uh-uh.
Ain't happening like that, man.
542
00:31:01,192 --> 00:31:02,694
I'm not hopping on some plane,
543
00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:05,071
flying across the world
without my mother.
544
00:31:05,154 --> 00:31:07,156
All right? She coming.
545
00:31:10,493 --> 00:31:12,453
- So be it.
- So be it.
546
00:31:12,538 --> 00:31:14,182
- So be it.
- And so it is. A'ight.
547
00:31:14,205 --> 00:31:16,375
- I'm-a go pack.
- Okay, baby.
548
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,001
Hey, Mary, you just gonna leave?
549
00:31:18,085 --> 00:31:20,045
Y'all know my PlayStation
ain't going nowhere.
550
00:31:20,128 --> 00:31:21,547
I mean, what about
all your stuff?
551
00:31:21,630 --> 00:31:24,048
It all sucks! Y'all can have it.
552
00:31:25,593 --> 00:31:28,761
Inform General Izzi that I have
retrieved my son from America.
553
00:31:28,846 --> 00:31:30,972
Yes, Your Majesty.
554
00:31:31,056 --> 00:31:33,017
Hey, we packed.
555
00:31:33,099 --> 00:31:34,809
Ah.
556
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:37,313
Yes, the limousine is waiting
for you right downstairs.
557
00:31:37,395 --> 00:31:39,276
- Limo? We got a limo, man.
- What's that? Limo!
558
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:41,232
I ain't been
in a limo since '00.
559
00:31:41,317 --> 00:31:43,169
- Hey. What's up?
- What's up, fellas?
560
00:31:43,192 --> 00:31:45,570
How y'all doing? Y'all so cute.
561
00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:48,324
Do you think Lisa
will be understanding?
562
00:31:48,406 --> 00:31:50,701
What is not to understand?
563
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:51,993
You lied to me!
564
00:31:52,076 --> 00:31:53,621
I did not exactly lie to you.
565
00:31:53,703 --> 00:31:54,829
This reeks of Semmi.
566
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,540
Ah, well, I don't want
to shift blame,
567
00:31:57,625 --> 00:31:59,335
but, yeah, it...
yes, you're right
568
00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:01,753
when you assume that Semmi had
something to do with this.
569
00:32:01,836 --> 00:32:03,338
I should've known about this.
570
00:32:05,382 --> 00:32:07,468
I did not know what to do.
571
00:32:07,550 --> 00:32:09,030
I was only trying to do
what is right.
572
00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,930
For our family or for Zamunda?
573
00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,058
Okay.
574
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:17,519
You have an illegitimate son.
575
00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,163
You wouldn't be
the first king to have one.
576
00:32:19,188 --> 00:32:20,230
That is true.
577
00:32:20,314 --> 00:32:22,106
Besides, we hadn't even met yet.
578
00:32:22,191 --> 00:32:24,734
Exactly. We hadn't met yet.
It's not like I cheated on you.
579
00:32:24,817 --> 00:32:26,694
This happened
before we even met.
580
00:32:26,778 --> 00:32:28,964
And it's not like you're the
first man I've ever been with.
581
00:32:28,989 --> 00:32:30,174
Right, I...
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
582
00:32:30,199 --> 00:32:31,866
What did you just say
about the other men?
583
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:33,493
So I guess, uh,
584
00:32:33,576 --> 00:32:35,336
you didn't really do
anything wrong, did you?
585
00:32:35,412 --> 00:32:38,039
It was a totally honest mistake
that can happen to anyone
586
00:32:38,123 --> 00:32:40,059
whose best friend introduced him
to a strange woman
587
00:32:40,084 --> 00:32:42,419
who drugged him
and had sex with him.
588
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,046
But what did you say...
the other men
589
00:32:44,128 --> 00:32:45,422
that you were with, the...
590
00:32:49,343 --> 00:32:51,427
From here on out,
591
00:32:51,511 --> 00:32:53,888
I'm gonna need you
to be honest with me.
592
00:32:53,971 --> 00:32:56,642
- No more surprises.
- I promise.
593
00:32:56,724 --> 00:32:58,935
No more surprises, my sweet.
594
00:32:59,019 --> 00:33:01,438
Never again shall there be
another surprise.
595
00:33:01,521 --> 00:33:04,400
Ooh, ooh! What?!
596
00:33:04,482 --> 00:33:06,067
Look at this foyer!
597
00:33:06,151 --> 00:33:08,319
I got to get
some shots for the Gram.
598
00:33:08,403 --> 00:33:10,446
Goddamn!
599
00:33:10,530 --> 00:33:11,924
- Oh, my goodness!
- Hashtag "family"!
600
00:33:11,949 --> 00:33:13,491
That's the last surprise.
601
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:15,285
- Hey! What's up, y'all?
- Hey!
602
00:33:15,368 --> 00:33:17,246
What's up, fam?
603
00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:19,163
Look, I'm gonna hug you
'cause I'm a hugger.
604
00:33:19,248 --> 00:33:20,708
Hey, Queen!
605
00:33:20,790 --> 00:33:23,585
I'm sorry I slept with your man.
606
00:33:23,669 --> 00:33:26,046
It's okay. It's okay.
607
00:33:26,130 --> 00:33:28,715
- What is going on here?
- Oh, children.
608
00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:31,969
Children, I would love for you
to meet your brother.
609
00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:35,138
Uh, Lavelle, uh,
Princess Tinashe.
610
00:33:35,221 --> 00:33:37,849
Tinashe, this is your
bastard brother from America.
611
00:33:37,932 --> 00:33:39,268
And, Princess Omma,
612
00:33:39,351 --> 00:33:42,604
this is your
bastard brother from America.
613
00:33:42,688 --> 00:33:45,606
Now, this is my eldest daughter,
Princess Meeka.
614
00:33:45,691 --> 00:33:47,025
Meeka, this is your bast...
615
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:49,027
Bastard brother. They know.
616
00:33:49,111 --> 00:33:51,989
I think they get the idea.
So, how you doing?
617
00:33:52,072 --> 00:33:54,031
And my name is Mary.
How you doing?
618
00:33:54,115 --> 00:33:55,992
Just call me your second mom.
619
00:33:56,076 --> 00:33:58,578
But you really
don't have to, girls.
620
00:33:58,662 --> 00:34:01,582
I mean, but you should, though,
'cause I kind of am.
621
00:34:01,664 --> 00:34:03,040
Well, look at us.
622
00:34:03,125 --> 00:34:05,501
Just one big, happy
623
00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:08,255
Zamundan-American
aristocratic blended family.
624
00:34:08,338 --> 00:34:11,675
Ah, just like the Kardashians!
625
00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:31,903
And that is the story
of the bunny and the bear.
626
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:33,947
Good class today, children.
627
00:34:34,030 --> 00:34:35,615
Okay, go play now.
628
00:34:35,699 --> 00:34:37,576
Play with your grenades
and your Kalashnikov.
629
00:34:37,659 --> 00:34:39,619
Sifo, don't mess with the sarin.
630
00:34:39,702 --> 00:34:41,371
Okay? It is dangerous.
631
00:34:41,454 --> 00:34:44,625
General Izzi,
we have just been informed
632
00:34:44,708 --> 00:34:49,588
King Akeem has returned
from America with a son.
633
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:51,590
A son?
634
00:34:53,592 --> 00:34:55,760
A son.
635
00:35:10,567 --> 00:35:12,110
I am so hungry,
636
00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:14,112
I could eat the ass
out of a zebra.
637
00:35:17,282 --> 00:35:21,036
So, Lavelle,
what did you do in Queens
638
00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:23,496
before you found out
you were a prince?
639
00:35:23,579 --> 00:35:25,873
Oh, I wasn't doing that much,
you know what I mean?
640
00:35:25,958 --> 00:35:28,710
Just sort of, like,
in between opportunities.
641
00:35:28,793 --> 00:35:30,646
You know? -MARY: Let me
tell you something, baby.
642
00:35:30,670 --> 00:35:33,005
- Hmm?
- You a prince now. Okay?
643
00:35:33,090 --> 00:35:35,925
And one day,
all this is gonna be yours.
644
00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:37,844
This long-ass table,
all this food,
645
00:35:37,927 --> 00:35:40,097
this whole damn kingdom.
646
00:35:40,179 --> 00:35:43,307
I always thought that Meeka
was going to be queen.
647
00:35:43,391 --> 00:35:45,226
A woman isn't
allowed to rule Zamunda.
648
00:35:45,309 --> 00:35:46,311
It's the law.
649
00:35:46,394 --> 00:35:49,606
So it's going to be this guy?
650
00:35:53,277 --> 00:35:55,528
I have lost my appetite.
651
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:56,822
Mm.
652
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,327
Mm.
653
00:36:02,411 --> 00:36:05,121
So, um, is anybody gonna tell me
654
00:36:05,204 --> 00:36:07,498
why these mashed potatoes
is black?
655
00:36:07,583 --> 00:36:09,041
It's caviar.
656
00:36:09,126 --> 00:36:11,335
- It's cava-what?
- Caviar, Mom.
657
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:13,422
You know, our cousin named that.
658
00:36:19,469 --> 00:36:21,137
You sure you're
in the right room?
659
00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:24,599
Mm, Lisa, please.
I'm getting it from everywhere.
660
00:36:24,682 --> 00:36:26,601
Meeka is so upset.
661
00:36:30,606 --> 00:36:32,773
Did it ever occur to you
that maybe
662
00:36:32,858 --> 00:36:35,152
Meeka might have wanted
to be your heir?
663
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:38,447
She's practically trained for it
her whole life.
664
00:36:40,197 --> 00:36:42,409
This boy would not have been
my first choice,
665
00:36:42,492 --> 00:36:44,869
but what can I do?
666
00:36:44,952 --> 00:36:48,123
He is my firstborn, my only son,
667
00:36:48,206 --> 00:36:50,125
and you know the law.
668
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:51,835
That is not you talking.
669
00:36:51,918 --> 00:36:54,588
That is your father.
670
00:36:54,670 --> 00:36:56,297
Good night.
671
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:05,641
Uh, Lisa, I was, uh, wondering,
672
00:37:05,724 --> 00:37:07,893
uh, I just recently returned
from a trip
673
00:37:07,976 --> 00:37:11,480
that was most tiresome,
and I thought maybe, perhaps,
674
00:37:11,563 --> 00:37:14,065
if you were in the mood...
675
00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:16,443
Yeah, perhaps it was
poor timing on my behalf
676
00:37:16,525 --> 00:37:18,987
to even suggest such a thing.
677
00:37:19,070 --> 00:37:21,447
Good night, my sweet.
678
00:37:21,530 --> 00:37:24,034
Uh, s-sweet dreams, my sweet.
679
00:37:30,414 --> 00:37:32,583
This is bullshit.
680
00:37:41,009 --> 00:37:42,552
Mm.
681
00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,262
Good morning.
682
00:37:50,184 --> 00:37:54,106
Good morning, Zamunda...!
683
00:37:57,985 --> 00:37:59,443
Yeah!
684
00:38:00,653 --> 00:38:03,239
- Oh!
- Good morning, my prince.
685
00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:06,827
"My prince." I like that.
686
00:38:06,909 --> 00:38:08,704
Would you like us to bathe you?
687
00:38:08,786 --> 00:38:10,789
Bathe me?
688
00:38:10,871 --> 00:38:13,000
Um...
689
00:38:19,505 --> 00:38:21,215
All three of you?
690
00:38:27,054 --> 00:38:28,974
Naked?
691
00:38:29,056 --> 00:38:30,434
Huh.
692
00:38:30,516 --> 00:38:32,893
Okay. All right, well...
693
00:38:32,978 --> 00:38:35,563
I'll be... I'll be right back.
694
00:38:35,646 --> 00:38:36,898
Ma?
695
00:38:37,898 --> 00:38:38,900
Ma!
696
00:38:38,983 --> 00:38:40,735
Oh, hey. Hey, hey, look, um...
697
00:38:40,818 --> 00:38:42,797
I'm freaking out right now
because these three girls,
698
00:38:42,820 --> 00:38:45,090
they in my room right now, and
they just offered to bathe me.
699
00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:46,782
Okay, baby, first of all,
calm down.
700
00:38:46,867 --> 00:38:48,577
Okay?
You know we in another country.
701
00:38:48,659 --> 00:38:51,246
And you know they have
different traditions
702
00:38:51,329 --> 00:38:53,623
and customs,
the way that they do stuff.
703
00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:56,208
You need to roll with it.
This is a princely thing.
704
00:38:56,293 --> 00:38:58,045
They bathe you, okay?
705
00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:59,420
- Yes.
- So be a prince.
706
00:38:59,503 --> 00:39:00,755
"Be a prince."
707
00:39:00,838 --> 00:39:02,483
- Now, you go enjoy that bath.
- All right.
708
00:39:02,507 --> 00:39:04,760
- All right, Ma. Thank you.
- Go get washed.
709
00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:16,664
The royal privates
are clean, ma'am.
710
00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:18,315
Mm.
711
00:39:18,398 --> 00:39:20,942
Just one more time,
just-just to make sure.
712
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:30,577
Oh.
713
00:39:30,659 --> 00:39:32,329
Good morning,
Your Royal Highness.
714
00:39:32,411 --> 00:39:33,704
My name is Mirembe.
715
00:39:33,789 --> 00:39:35,831
I will be your royal groomer.
716
00:39:35,916 --> 00:39:37,958
Please allow me the honor
717
00:39:38,043 --> 00:39:40,586
of trimming
your most precious hairs.
718
00:39:40,670 --> 00:39:42,838
Um...
719
00:39:42,922 --> 00:39:45,592
The ones atop your head, sir.
720
00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:47,844
- Precious head of hair.
Okay. All right. -Yes.
721
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,847
Surely, the royal bathers
have cleansed you thoroughly,
722
00:39:50,931 --> 00:39:53,557
judging by the smile
on your face.
723
00:39:56,811 --> 00:40:00,023
Now, please sit back and relax.
724
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,077
Oh!
725
00:40:13,161 --> 00:40:15,079
Yo! Man, look at you.
726
00:40:15,163 --> 00:40:16,998
- You look beautiful.
- Thank you.
727
00:40:17,081 --> 00:40:19,333
- And you look so fre...
- Right? Right?
728
00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:20,835
- Right?
- What's this? What's this?
729
00:40:20,918 --> 00:40:23,170
Oh, yeah, I got a royal barber,
and she hooked me up.
730
00:40:25,548 --> 00:40:27,759
- We got to go.
- Right. Got that thing.
731
00:40:39,813 --> 00:40:44,442
Presenting Lavelle Junson
of Queens!
732
00:40:45,693 --> 00:40:47,237
And my moms.
733
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,532
And his moms.
734
00:40:52,534 --> 00:40:55,661
Oh, hey, baby's daddy king.
735
00:40:55,744 --> 00:40:57,581
Step-mama queen, what up?
736
00:40:57,664 --> 00:41:00,250
Mother, don't you have
a dress like that?
737
00:41:00,333 --> 00:41:02,001
Thank you for the borrow.
738
00:41:02,085 --> 00:41:03,210
The royal tailors had to add
739
00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:04,670
some extra material
to make it fit.
740
00:41:04,753 --> 00:41:06,505
You got a dope closet, baby.
741
00:41:06,590 --> 00:41:08,507
And who told you
you could go through my closet?
742
00:41:08,592 --> 00:41:11,302
Well, well, I was just thinking,
since we're related,
743
00:41:11,385 --> 00:41:15,014
uh, maybe that we could share
a couple of...
744
00:41:15,097 --> 00:41:16,682
Why your mama so uppity?
745
00:41:16,766 --> 00:41:18,559
What is "uppity"?
746
00:41:18,643 --> 00:41:20,103
I am not uppity.
747
00:41:20,186 --> 00:41:21,896
Uppity bitch say what?
748
00:41:21,980 --> 00:41:23,523
What?
749
00:41:23,606 --> 00:41:24,900
You said it.
750
00:41:27,068 --> 00:41:28,903
We do that in Queens.
751
00:41:28,987 --> 00:41:31,322
I cannot stress how important
it is that you're here
752
00:41:31,405 --> 00:41:32,907
right now at this moment.
753
00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:34,492
For educational purposes.
754
00:41:34,576 --> 00:41:36,286
At any moment,
a world leader can come
755
00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:38,914
bursting through the door
with some pressing,
756
00:41:38,996 --> 00:41:42,375
uh, time-sensitive propositions.
757
00:42:00,976 --> 00:42:04,731
General Izzi, what a totally
unexpected surprise.
758
00:42:04,813 --> 00:42:08,610
King Akeem, I have come
to give you congratulations
759
00:42:08,693 --> 00:42:11,237
for locating
one of your lost sperm.
760
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,699
I too wonder about
my own stray bullets.
761
00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:16,992
Thank you for your kind words.
762
00:42:17,077 --> 00:42:20,204
Ah, but I've not come
with just words.
763
00:42:20,288 --> 00:42:25,043
I came with a gift
for your new prince.
764
00:42:29,630 --> 00:42:34,010
With your permission,
King Akeem.
765
00:42:34,094 --> 00:42:35,844
My permission is granted.
766
00:42:58,867 --> 00:43:00,661
I would like to
767
00:43:00,744 --> 00:43:04,456
present to you
my daughter, Bopoto!
768
00:43:36,572 --> 00:43:37,782
Oh, that's my song!
769
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:39,135
- That's her song.
- That's Prince!
770
00:43:39,159 --> 00:43:40,802
That's her song.
771
00:44:12,108 --> 00:44:13,360
Damn!
772
00:44:19,490 --> 00:44:21,117
Look here, boy. Look here.
773
00:44:21,201 --> 00:44:22,911
Pay attention to me.
You know this song.
774
00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:25,621
You go put some purple
on that ho!
775
00:44:25,704 --> 00:44:26,956
Do it for our country.
776
00:44:52,898 --> 00:44:54,233
What's up?
777
00:44:55,443 --> 00:44:59,114
King Akeem, shall we join
our families in marriage
778
00:44:59,197 --> 00:45:00,907
under one flag
779
00:45:00,989 --> 00:45:05,452
by uniting your bastard
with my Bopoto?
780
00:45:08,748 --> 00:45:10,666
General...
781
00:45:10,750 --> 00:45:13,168
as you know, I have
very, very strong opinions
782
00:45:13,253 --> 00:45:15,463
when it comes
to arranged marriages.
783
00:45:15,547 --> 00:45:19,467
True love is the bedrock
of my kingdom.
784
00:45:24,097 --> 00:45:26,474
But if this is something
that Lavelle desires,
785
00:45:26,557 --> 00:45:28,226
who am I to stand in his way?
786
00:45:28,309 --> 00:45:29,601
- Wait, what?
- Father.
787
00:45:30,644 --> 00:45:33,523
Lavelle, is this what you want?
788
00:45:33,606 --> 00:45:36,067
Yeah. I'm 'bout it.
789
00:45:36,150 --> 00:45:37,735
Then it is settled!
790
00:45:37,818 --> 00:45:39,403
Then let us proceed!
791
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:42,322
A semiautomatic shotgun wedding
it will be!
792
00:45:49,496 --> 00:45:53,333
Remember your father's
final words.
793
00:45:53,418 --> 00:45:56,753
The boy must pass
the princely test.
794
00:45:56,838 --> 00:46:00,800
To forget the princely test
would be to spit in the faces
795
00:46:00,884 --> 00:46:04,137
of the great Joffers
who have come before you.
796
00:46:05,137 --> 00:46:06,764
Whose auntie is this?
797
00:46:08,224 --> 00:46:09,766
I give you a week.
798
00:46:11,603 --> 00:46:14,563
I wouldn't want to go back
to plotting your death.
799
00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,233
Zoot!
800
00:46:17,317 --> 00:46:18,543
- Zoot!
- What's "zoot"?
801
00:46:18,568 --> 00:46:20,068
Y'all leaving?
Does that mean "leave"?
802
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:29,369
I'll see you in one week,
my prince.
803
00:46:29,454 --> 00:46:31,079
A'ight.
804
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:36,335
- Father, can we talk about this?
- There is nothing to talk about.
805
00:46:36,418 --> 00:46:38,838
Nexdoria is our greatest threat.
806
00:46:38,922 --> 00:46:41,757
To broker a peace hinging on
the testosterone-clouded whims
807
00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:44,469
of a son you barely even know
is foolish.
808
00:46:44,552 --> 00:46:46,512
I said there is
nothing to talk about.
809
00:46:55,103 --> 00:46:57,148
This is ZNN.
810
00:46:57,231 --> 00:46:58,775
Good evening, my neighbors.
811
00:46:58,858 --> 00:47:00,735
I'm Totatsi Bibinyana.
812
00:47:00,818 --> 00:47:03,028
In a most promising twist,
813
00:47:03,112 --> 00:47:05,864
the Zamunda News Network
has confirmed
814
00:47:05,949 --> 00:47:08,784
that King Akeem has a son.
815
00:47:08,867 --> 00:47:10,411
While it is too early
to determine
816
00:47:10,494 --> 00:47:12,664
whether the boy possesses
any strength, intelligence
817
00:47:12,746 --> 00:47:14,414
or capability whatsoever,
818
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:17,210
what we do know
is that he is a man.
819
00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:19,963
And as far as Zamundan royalty
is concerned,
820
00:47:20,045 --> 00:47:21,547
that's good enough.
821
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:24,652
The princely test
has three parts.
822
00:47:24,675 --> 00:47:26,135
- Okay. Uh-huh.
- Culture,
823
00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:29,722
critical thinking and,
more importantly, courage.
824
00:47:29,806 --> 00:47:31,266
Where do we begin?
825
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:35,603
Teach the young prince
how to walk like royalty.
826
00:47:35,686 --> 00:47:37,313
That is what we will do.
827
00:47:37,396 --> 00:47:40,023
We will teach you
how to walk like a prince.
828
00:47:40,108 --> 00:47:41,858
Yo, what's wrong
with the way I walk now?
829
00:47:41,943 --> 00:47:43,695
You walk like an American pimp.
830
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:45,862
You dress like
a slave from the future.
831
00:47:45,947 --> 00:47:47,532
Old Jar Jar Binks lookin' ass.
832
00:47:47,614 --> 00:47:49,742
Here, in this hall,
833
00:47:49,826 --> 00:47:54,163
you will come face-to-face
with your Zamundan heritage.
834
00:47:54,246 --> 00:47:56,206
Let us begin.
835
00:47:57,208 --> 00:47:58,418
Jompu Joffer.
836
00:47:58,501 --> 00:47:59,793
Jampu...
837
00:47:59,876 --> 00:48:02,297
- Jakoof Joffer.
- Jujkoof...
838
00:48:02,380 --> 00:48:04,340
Mighty Jokeim Joffer,
839
00:48:04,423 --> 00:48:06,509
the most handsome
of all the Joffers.
840
00:48:08,302 --> 00:48:09,721
Clench your backside.
841
00:48:09,804 --> 00:48:12,181
- Put your shoulders back.
- Mm-hmm.
842
00:48:12,264 --> 00:48:13,391
- Put your chin up.
- Mm-hmm.
843
00:48:13,474 --> 00:48:16,059
Suck in your stomach
and walk thusly.
844
00:48:17,103 --> 00:48:18,896
Now? Walk? Okay.
845
00:48:20,023 --> 00:48:22,608
- This is a regal gait.
- Okay.
846
00:48:24,193 --> 00:48:25,652
Stop! Don't...
847
00:48:25,737 --> 00:48:27,447
Tuck in your backside.
848
00:48:27,530 --> 00:48:29,114
And who is this?
849
00:48:29,197 --> 00:48:30,365
Uh, that's Jappa Joffer.
850
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:32,242
- No.
- Jabba the Hutt Joffer.
851
00:48:32,327 --> 00:48:34,579
- No.
- Jumpin' Jack Flash Joffer.
852
00:48:34,661 --> 00:48:35,704
No.
853
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,349
- Gerald Levert Joffer?
- No.
854
00:48:37,373 --> 00:48:39,125
- Jimmie "JJ" Walker Joffer?
- No.
855
00:48:39,208 --> 00:48:41,085
- Jabberwocky Joffer.
- No.
856
00:48:41,168 --> 00:48:42,228
James Brown Joffer.
857
00:48:42,253 --> 00:48:43,378
Hey!
858
00:48:50,762 --> 00:48:53,056
All right, y'all,
what am I doing out here?
859
00:48:53,139 --> 00:48:54,474
I'm hungry. I'm...
860
00:48:54,556 --> 00:48:57,226
I-I'm late for my bath.
What am I looking for?
861
00:48:57,309 --> 00:48:58,978
Hmm?
862
00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,271
Oh! That's a damn lion, bruh!
863
00:49:01,356 --> 00:49:04,692
Only when you can retrieve
the whiskers from a resting lion
864
00:49:04,775 --> 00:49:06,527
will you be ready
to become prince.
865
00:49:11,239 --> 00:49:12,449
This is a joke.
866
00:49:12,532 --> 00:49:14,242
This is a joke, 'cause I know
867
00:49:14,327 --> 00:49:16,166
your soft ass ain't never
do nothing like that.
868
00:49:16,204 --> 00:49:17,871
Oh, yes, I did.
869
00:49:17,954 --> 00:49:20,833
- On my very first attempt.
- Well...
870
00:49:20,916 --> 00:49:23,835
Yes. First attempt. Very brave.
871
00:49:23,920 --> 00:49:26,106
You will need the courage
of all your ancestors...
872
00:49:26,130 --> 00:49:28,173
A machete? A rocket launcher?
What you got?
873
00:49:28,257 --> 00:49:30,635
...and the cunningness
of your Western ways.
874
00:49:30,717 --> 00:49:33,096
And these.
875
00:49:39,936 --> 00:49:41,728
Thank you.
876
00:49:51,405 --> 00:49:53,282
Ain't this a bitch.
877
00:49:55,784 --> 00:49:57,202
I just don't belong here.
878
00:49:57,286 --> 00:49:59,831
You are the son
of the king of Zamunda.
879
00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:03,583
You come from a long line
of Joffers, and...
880
00:50:03,668 --> 00:50:06,670
I come from a long line
of broke-ass nobodies.
881
00:50:08,130 --> 00:50:11,300
What the hell I was thinking
that I could have this?
882
00:50:11,384 --> 00:50:13,385
Or any of it?
883
00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:17,014
Hey, for real, just...
cut this off, all right?
884
00:50:17,097 --> 00:50:18,724
Just cut it off.
885
00:50:20,434 --> 00:50:23,146
You want to get rid of
the royal princely braid?
886
00:50:24,396 --> 00:50:26,858
Well, this is fair.
887
00:50:26,940 --> 00:50:30,360
To be honest, it wasn't
a great look on you.
888
00:50:31,695 --> 00:50:34,782
Just one of the many
backward Zamundan traditions.
889
00:50:36,284 --> 00:50:38,077
Hell yeah.
890
00:50:38,161 --> 00:50:40,704
How long have you felt that way?
You know how itchy this is?
891
00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:42,748
It's a rat tail.
892
00:50:42,831 --> 00:50:45,293
And what's up
with y'all and lion whiskers?
893
00:50:45,376 --> 00:50:47,128
Like, be for real...
what's up with that?
894
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:51,673
Hey, yo, I-I can't do this
right now, man.
895
00:50:54,469 --> 00:50:56,471
Yo, look where I'm at.
896
00:50:58,181 --> 00:51:00,224
I'm not supposed to be here.
897
00:51:01,266 --> 00:51:03,101
You know, my whole life,
I had dreams
898
00:51:03,186 --> 00:51:05,021
that my pops
would show up and take
899
00:51:05,103 --> 00:51:07,231
me and my mom away
to a whole new life.
900
00:51:07,315 --> 00:51:09,233
And come to find out,
he's a king.
901
00:51:09,317 --> 00:51:11,027
To a whole damn country.
902
00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:13,153
And the only way
to meet his expectations
903
00:51:13,237 --> 00:51:16,865
is to walk with a stick
up my ass or get myself killed.
904
00:51:18,992 --> 00:51:20,952
This-this ain't my way, Mirembe.
905
00:51:21,036 --> 00:51:24,623
And I-I-I can't... I can't be
what he wants me to be.
906
00:51:26,333 --> 00:51:30,086
Then perhaps
be not as King Akeem
907
00:51:30,170 --> 00:51:32,422
but as Prince Akeem.
908
00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:35,927
Ain't that the same brother?
909
00:51:37,094 --> 00:51:38,846
You haven't heard the story.
910
00:51:38,929 --> 00:51:41,389
Everyone in Zamunda knows
911
00:51:41,474 --> 00:51:45,228
the legend of Prince Akeem
912
00:51:45,311 --> 00:51:48,815
in the land of Queens.
913
00:51:48,898 --> 00:51:51,442
Prince Akeem was
a dutiful prince
914
00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,152
and loyal son of Zamunda.
915
00:51:53,235 --> 00:51:54,277
Hello, Babar.
916
00:51:54,362 --> 00:51:55,862
But he believed that a man
917
00:51:55,947 --> 00:51:57,907
must walk his own path
and follow his heart.
918
00:51:57,989 --> 00:51:59,742
I intend to find my bride.
919
00:51:59,826 --> 00:52:01,577
What is wrong
with the one you have now?
920
00:52:01,661 --> 00:52:03,496
Bark like a dog.
921
00:52:03,579 --> 00:52:05,164
I want a woman that's going to
922
00:52:05,248 --> 00:52:07,041
arouse my intellect
as well as my loins.
923
00:52:07,123 --> 00:52:09,085
He flew across the sea
924
00:52:09,168 --> 00:52:10,585
to find his true love.
925
00:52:10,670 --> 00:52:11,838
Now there,
926
00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,923
in the barbaric land of Queens
927
00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:18,344
did Prince Akeem battle
bug-eyed burglars,
928
00:52:18,427 --> 00:52:20,221
foul-mouthed barbers
929
00:52:20,304 --> 00:52:23,099
and sexist men of the cloth
930
00:52:23,181 --> 00:52:25,476
to win the heart
of his true love,
931
00:52:25,559 --> 00:52:28,271
Lisa McDowell of Queens.
932
00:52:36,528 --> 00:52:38,614
The wedding was grand
933
00:52:38,697 --> 00:52:42,577
and beautiful and magical.
934
00:52:42,659 --> 00:52:45,454
A new dawn had arised
in Zamunda,
935
00:52:45,538 --> 00:52:46,873
a new sense of hope
936
00:52:46,956 --> 00:52:48,583
and change.
937
00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,418
King Akeem...
938
00:52:51,501 --> 00:52:54,130
may have forgotten his story,
939
00:52:54,213 --> 00:52:56,965
but the people of Zamunda
have not.
940
00:53:05,932 --> 00:53:07,976
Walk your own path.
941
00:53:08,059 --> 00:53:11,188
Be not the prince of Zamunda.
942
00:53:11,271 --> 00:53:13,733
Be the prince from Queens.
943
00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:27,829
Lavelle Junson of Queens.
944
00:53:42,844 --> 00:53:45,556
If it pleases Your Majesty,
945
00:53:45,639 --> 00:53:48,643
I present to you Kareem Junson,
946
00:53:48,726 --> 00:53:52,313
aka Uncle Reem,
947
00:53:52,396 --> 00:53:54,356
my royal consigliere.
948
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:56,525
That's Italian
for "mack daddy mentor."
949
00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:59,778
You need no other teacher
than your king and your father.
950
00:53:59,862 --> 00:54:02,197
No, no, no, no. See, you watch
your bottom lip, money grip,
951
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:03,884
'cause you understand,
while y'all was out here
952
00:54:03,907 --> 00:54:05,617
riding elephants
and chasing Tarzan,
953
00:54:05,701 --> 00:54:08,913
I was schooling this boy
on the streets of Queens.
954
00:54:08,996 --> 00:54:10,932
- All right, well, that's...
- No, 'cause he don't know me.
955
00:54:10,956 --> 00:54:13,250
- You do not know me.
- No, you don't know me.
956
00:54:13,333 --> 00:54:14,376
You do not know me.
957
00:54:14,460 --> 00:54:15,811
- You don't know me.
- I will cut you.
958
00:54:15,835 --> 00:54:17,003
Enough of this.
959
00:54:19,172 --> 00:54:23,469
Uncle Reem of Queens...
you're welcome in my kingdom.
960
00:54:23,552 --> 00:54:24,804
Come on.
961
00:54:24,887 --> 00:54:26,931
Benson, y'all got
some crab cakes, man?
962
00:54:27,014 --> 00:54:28,056
I need some protein.
963
00:54:28,139 --> 00:54:30,351
- Who is Benson?
- Benson is you.
964
00:54:30,434 --> 00:54:32,228
Hold up. Hold up.
965
00:54:32,311 --> 00:54:34,688
Let me get my Spotify
on deck real quick.
966
00:54:36,481 --> 00:54:37,775
Let's rock.
967
00:54:37,858 --> 00:54:39,735
You ain't said nothing
but a thing.
968
00:54:39,818 --> 00:54:40,820
See his feet?
969
00:54:40,902 --> 00:54:42,112
- Yes.
- See where his hand at?
970
00:54:42,195 --> 00:54:43,864
- Mm-hmm.
- See how he moving?
971
00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:46,617
Yes. There's a fluidity to it.
972
00:54:46,701 --> 00:54:49,619
Yeah, it's like Bruce Lee said,
"Be like water."
973
00:54:49,704 --> 00:54:51,329
That's Hebbe Joffer.
974
00:54:51,414 --> 00:54:52,974
Legend has it
he could speak to animals,
975
00:54:52,998 --> 00:54:54,239
and people thought he was crazy
976
00:54:54,291 --> 00:54:56,090
until he made a giraffe
do the Electric Slide.
977
00:54:57,253 --> 00:54:59,213
It appears a royal wedding
978
00:54:59,295 --> 00:55:00,965
may soon be upon us.
979
00:55:01,047 --> 00:55:02,842
For more on this,
we are joined by Semmi.
980
00:55:02,925 --> 00:55:04,260
Good to see you, Totatsi.
981
00:55:04,342 --> 00:55:07,762
According to our ZNN source
inside the palace,
982
00:55:07,847 --> 00:55:09,764
we are hearing... and I quote...
983
00:55:09,849 --> 00:55:13,768
"The boy been balling
on this princely-ass test
984
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:18,606
ever since his handsome
and mad smart uncle showed up."
985
00:55:18,690 --> 00:55:21,152
That is absurd, Totatsi.
Who is your source?
986
00:55:21,235 --> 00:55:23,112
What the deal? What the deal?
987
00:55:23,195 --> 00:55:25,239
Palace life for me.
988
00:55:25,322 --> 00:55:26,949
Who do you think you are, Reem,
989
00:55:27,032 --> 00:55:28,492
going behind the king's back?
990
00:55:28,576 --> 00:55:30,215
- You keep talking slick...
- G-Gentlemen.
991
00:55:30,286 --> 00:55:32,038
...and when my man
is running this place,
992
00:55:32,121 --> 00:55:33,873
you gonna go from
royal ass kisser
993
00:55:33,956 --> 00:55:35,708
- to royal ass wiper.
- No, no.
994
00:55:35,791 --> 00:55:37,561
- I will do no such thing.
- Please, g-gent...
995
00:55:37,585 --> 00:55:39,503
Yeah, well,
I eat a lot of fried food,
996
00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:40,880
so don't come at me with
997
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:42,715
- anything less than two-ply.
- Oh!
998
00:55:52,641 --> 00:55:54,351
Okay.
999
00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:58,856
Oh, that's right. Ooh!
1000
00:55:58,938 --> 00:56:00,858
- I believe I have it now.
- Don't hurt nobody.
1001
00:56:00,940 --> 00:56:02,275
Yeah, you got something.
1002
00:56:02,358 --> 00:56:04,045
Now let me hear you say,
"Hey, ho." -I don't know...
1003
00:56:04,070 --> 00:56:05,528
- Hey, ho. -Oh.
- That's right.
1004
00:56:05,612 --> 00:56:07,530
That's how we do it
in Queens, though.
1005
00:56:07,614 --> 00:56:09,657
- Hey, ho.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
1006
00:56:09,742 --> 00:56:11,094
No, don't do that.
That's his mother.
1007
00:56:11,117 --> 00:56:12,679
- Oh, don't say it to...
- No, not to his mother.
1008
00:56:12,702 --> 00:56:14,306
- You obese American, you.
- No.
1009
00:56:14,329 --> 00:56:15,706
Yeah, for 25 cents a day,
1010
00:56:15,789 --> 00:56:18,416
I could sponsor-feed
your scrawny ass.
1011
00:56:18,501 --> 00:56:20,335
Go to hell, you Western weasel!
1012
00:56:20,418 --> 00:56:22,213
- Yo, well, why don't you go?
- Make me.
1013
00:56:22,295 --> 00:56:23,963
You know something? Then I will.
1014
00:56:24,047 --> 00:56:25,590
You cholesterol dumpster fire,
you.
1015
00:56:25,673 --> 00:56:27,510
I... o-okay, okay.
1016
00:56:27,592 --> 00:56:28,987
Totatsi! Call the guards!
1017
00:56:29,010 --> 00:56:30,280
Let us, let us go
for a short break.
1018
00:56:30,304 --> 00:56:31,679
Hmm.
1019
00:56:31,764 --> 00:56:32,931
That's Forest Whitaker.
1020
00:56:33,014 --> 00:56:34,391
I'm joking. That's not...
1021
00:56:34,474 --> 00:56:36,559
That one is Tunde Joffer.
1022
00:56:36,643 --> 00:56:38,288
Uh, he's the reason why
the Zamundans migrated
1023
00:56:38,311 --> 00:56:39,438
from the north to the east.
1024
00:56:39,521 --> 00:56:41,023
He's doing pretty good.
1025
00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:43,608
Yeah?
1026
00:56:50,699 --> 00:56:52,659
There is but one test
that remains:
1027
00:56:52,742 --> 00:56:54,494
Retrieving the whiskers
from a lion.
1028
00:56:56,371 --> 00:56:59,916
My one question is:
How will you conquer your fear?
1029
00:57:00,000 --> 00:57:01,626
I'm not.
1030
00:57:01,710 --> 00:57:03,253
It's a damn lion.
1031
00:57:03,336 --> 00:57:05,255
Well, I found it is helpful
to think of them
1032
00:57:05,338 --> 00:57:07,007
as just being big house cats.
1033
00:57:07,090 --> 00:57:08,592
Oh?
1034
00:57:08,675 --> 00:57:10,052
Just big house cats?
1035
00:57:10,135 --> 00:57:12,304
Really?
When'd you figure that out?
1036
00:57:12,387 --> 00:57:14,722
Was that on your tenth
or 11th try?
1037
00:57:14,806 --> 00:57:16,432
I know not what you speak of.
1038
00:57:16,516 --> 00:57:18,143
I was successful my first time,
1039
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:20,478
- just like my father.
- Jaffe Joffer.
1040
00:57:20,563 --> 00:57:22,981
- And his father before him.
- Jappa Joffer.
1041
00:57:24,023 --> 00:57:26,068
Very good. Very good!
1042
00:57:27,443 --> 00:57:29,487
Oh, watch.
1043
00:57:29,572 --> 00:57:31,030
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, do not be alarmed.
1044
00:57:31,114 --> 00:57:32,824
This Babar, he is my friend.
1045
00:57:32,907 --> 00:57:34,827
I have known him
since he was a small elephant.
1046
00:57:34,909 --> 00:57:35,952
Let him pass. Move.
1047
00:57:36,036 --> 00:57:37,304
- Let him pass.
- All right.
1048
00:57:37,329 --> 00:57:39,081
Come through, Babar, my friend.
1049
00:57:39,164 --> 00:57:41,458
Babar, the magnificent one.
1050
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:44,003
I have known him
since he was a little elephant,
1051
00:57:44,085 --> 00:57:45,880
and now he is a father, as well.
1052
00:57:45,963 --> 00:57:47,505
- Wow.
- The great one!
1053
00:57:52,219 --> 00:57:54,847
I must admit,
your manner and your style
1054
00:57:54,929 --> 00:57:57,766
is foreign to my kingdom,
but it is impressive.
1055
00:57:57,849 --> 00:58:01,478
Yeah? Damn, I'm just
trying to be like you.
1056
00:58:01,561 --> 00:58:03,480
You know what I mean?
1057
00:58:03,563 --> 00:58:06,400
You know, Mirembe,
my royal barber,
1058
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:08,777
told me the story that your pops
1059
00:58:08,860 --> 00:58:10,987
wanted you to marry
a Nexdorian girl,
1060
00:58:11,070 --> 00:58:14,199
so you bounced to Queens to find
a wife on your own terms.
1061
00:58:16,367 --> 00:58:18,621
I wanted to find
more than a wife.
1062
00:58:18,704 --> 00:58:22,248
To find someone that
I connected with on every level.
1063
00:58:22,333 --> 00:58:24,168
Someone who knew
where I was coming from
1064
00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:27,378
even though we came from
entirely two different places.
1065
00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:34,719
And one might say I was
looking for myself, as well.
1066
00:58:37,806 --> 00:58:40,893
Get some rest, my son.
1067
00:58:42,811 --> 00:58:44,396
Thanks, Pops.
1068
00:59:06,376 --> 00:59:08,295
He looks hungry.
1069
00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:10,880
You can see it in how
he walks low to the ground.
1070
00:59:10,965 --> 00:59:13,259
Look, man, you haven't liked me
since I got here,
1071
00:59:13,342 --> 00:59:15,219
and I get that,
but ain't my fault
1072
00:59:15,302 --> 00:59:18,012
your dad knocked up my mom and
dragged my ass back to Africa.
1073
00:59:18,097 --> 00:59:20,556
Well, no one is
asking you to stay.
1074
00:59:20,641 --> 00:59:22,476
It's all good, little sis.
All good.
1075
00:59:22,559 --> 00:59:24,411
I'll be gone in a minute,
'cause I'm about to be
1076
00:59:24,436 --> 00:59:25,728
- eaten by a lion!
- I hope so!
1077
00:59:25,813 --> 00:59:26,896
- Fine! Fine!
- Fine!
1078
00:59:34,070 --> 00:59:36,614
You really think
I'm gonna fail, don't you?
1079
00:59:43,539 --> 00:59:45,873
I have never said that...
1080
00:59:45,958 --> 00:59:47,876
out loud.
1081
00:59:47,960 --> 00:59:49,836
You ain't got to.
1082
00:59:49,920 --> 00:59:51,255
It's that look.
1083
00:59:55,467 --> 00:59:58,012
Been getting that look
my entire life.
1084
00:59:58,094 --> 01:00:01,264
People writing me off
'cause of the way I talk
1085
01:00:01,347 --> 01:00:03,726
or where I'm from.
1086
01:00:03,809 --> 01:00:05,811
But you got no idea
what I'm talking about.
1087
01:00:05,893 --> 01:00:08,105
'Cause you a princess.
1088
01:00:08,188 --> 01:00:11,858
Princesses can be written off
just as much as anyone.
1089
01:00:11,942 --> 01:00:15,070
I have been preparing
my whole life
1090
01:00:15,153 --> 01:00:17,864
to be standing where you are
in this moment.
1091
01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:20,992
But you are right.
1092
01:00:21,076 --> 01:00:22,911
It is not fair
for me to blame you
1093
01:00:22,994 --> 01:00:25,289
for my father's mistake.
1094
01:00:25,371 --> 01:00:27,833
Not that you are a mistake.
1095
01:00:27,916 --> 01:00:29,835
Well, you kind of are
a mistake. -Okay.
1096
01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:31,878
I get it, I get it. A'ight.
1097
01:00:31,961 --> 01:00:33,505
Damn.
1098
01:00:40,219 --> 01:00:43,474
Perhaps the test has
nothing to do with bravery.
1099
01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:49,771
The tests are also a challenge
of the mind.
1100
01:01:13,211 --> 01:01:16,172
So, in sales, it's called
a bait and switch.
1101
01:01:16,255 --> 01:01:18,335
So, the customer thinks
that they're buying something
1102
01:01:18,384 --> 01:01:20,177
at half off,
so they come flocking,
1103
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:22,155
waving their wallets,
just hungry to buy something,
1104
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,972
but by the time they get there,
1105
01:01:24,056 --> 01:01:26,099
you sell 'em the upgrade
at double the price.
1106
01:01:26,182 --> 01:01:28,851
Yes. It is the same
as a technique
1107
01:01:28,936 --> 01:01:31,521
we use in battle
called the feigned withdrawal.
1108
01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:34,108
An army retreats
with the sole intention
1109
01:01:34,190 --> 01:01:36,902
of drawing the enemy out
and ambushing him.
1110
01:01:36,985 --> 01:01:39,405
So, what, in this scenario,
I'm-I'm the retreating army?
1111
01:01:39,487 --> 01:01:41,572
No, you are the bait to switch.
1112
01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:09,184
This ain't right.
1113
01:02:09,268 --> 01:02:11,811
My nephew could be eaten
by a man-eating lion!
1114
01:02:11,894 --> 01:02:13,813
Besides, what kind of kingdom
is this?
1115
01:02:13,896 --> 01:02:17,985
I don't see no Lunchables or
no lunch trays up here, nothing!
1116
01:02:55,606 --> 01:02:58,025
No.
1117
01:03:01,068 --> 01:03:02,153
Oh!
1118
01:03:05,072 --> 01:03:06,824
Run! Run!
1119
01:03:06,909 --> 01:03:08,869
Trust me, don't look back!
1120
01:03:08,952 --> 01:03:10,454
Just keep running!
Keep running! Run!
1121
01:03:10,536 --> 01:03:12,289
Keep running!
1122
01:03:28,222 --> 01:03:29,722
No, no. No!
1123
01:03:32,976 --> 01:03:35,144
He's trapped. I must save him.
1124
01:03:35,228 --> 01:03:36,271
Stupid.
1125
01:03:36,355 --> 01:03:37,356
Wait, Father.
1126
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:42,235
Look.
1127
01:03:49,159 --> 01:03:51,369
What is this?
1128
01:03:52,871 --> 01:03:55,123
What is this?
1129
01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:57,918
What every dangerous
house cat likes.
1130
01:04:00,211 --> 01:04:01,420
Cat food.
1131
01:04:37,206 --> 01:04:39,501
I got 'em. Mm-hmm.
1132
01:04:44,088 --> 01:04:46,132
He is almost ready
to become a prince.
1133
01:04:46,215 --> 01:04:47,592
Wait, almost?
1134
01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:53,139
It is time for umbajuntoo.
1135
01:04:53,222 --> 01:04:55,891
- Umbajuntoo!
- Umbajuntoo!
1136
01:05:06,695 --> 01:05:09,405
Uh, what's-what's, uh...
umbajuntoo?
1137
01:05:09,489 --> 01:05:11,949
Ceremonial circumcision.
1138
01:05:12,034 --> 01:05:14,244
Ceremonial...
1139
01:05:14,327 --> 01:05:15,887
That mean they're gonna
sharpen your tool, nephew.
1140
01:05:15,911 --> 01:05:18,581
Hold him. -Hey, yo,
ain't got to restrain me. Yo...
1141
01:05:18,664 --> 01:05:20,559
Hey, Ma, tell 'em we already
did this! -That's okay, baby.
1142
01:05:20,583 --> 01:05:22,168
We love it here, right?
1143
01:05:22,251 --> 01:05:24,128
Let them take a little bit
off the top.
1144
01:05:24,211 --> 01:05:28,884
These are the foreskins
of your forefathers.
1145
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,219
- Ew.
- Joffer Joffer.
1146
01:05:31,302 --> 01:05:33,137
Great-great-great-grandfather.
1147
01:05:33,221 --> 01:05:35,181
Jappa Joffer.
1148
01:05:35,264 --> 01:05:36,682
Your great-grandfather.
1149
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,684
Jaffe Joffer.
1150
01:05:38,768 --> 01:05:39,769
Your grandfather.
1151
01:05:39,853 --> 01:05:43,356
And King Akeem.
1152
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:50,780
Okay.
1153
01:06:09,507 --> 01:06:12,594
What are you...
Oh, what is wrong with you?
1154
01:06:14,596 --> 01:06:16,097
See, a potato.
1155
01:06:22,978 --> 01:06:26,233
They got you, baby!
They got you!
1156
01:06:27,608 --> 01:06:30,612
You just completed
the final princely test,
1157
01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:33,239
- the test of courage.
- Courage?
1158
01:06:33,322 --> 01:06:35,492
Need I remind you
I was face-to-face
1159
01:06:35,574 --> 01:06:36,827
with a man-eating lion?
1160
01:06:36,909 --> 01:06:39,161
For one to put
his member in danger
1161
01:06:39,246 --> 01:06:41,914
is also a test of courage, yes?
1162
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:45,085
You are willing to sacrifice
what is most sacred.
1163
01:06:45,168 --> 01:06:46,753
My penis?
1164
01:06:46,836 --> 01:06:48,713
Your pride.
1165
01:06:50,005 --> 01:06:52,217
Lavelle Junson of Queens,
1166
01:06:52,300 --> 01:06:55,679
I hereby crown you
1167
01:06:55,762 --> 01:06:58,222
the prince of Zamunda.
1168
01:07:03,269 --> 01:07:05,813
Okay, so you thought
the best response was
1169
01:07:05,896 --> 01:07:07,606
to let them cut it off?
1170
01:07:07,690 --> 01:07:09,608
I was doing whatever it took.
1171
01:07:09,693 --> 01:07:11,445
Like what, exactly?
1172
01:07:11,527 --> 01:07:13,947
Well, to prove myself.
1173
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:15,949
You know, like,
I-I never really got
1174
01:07:16,032 --> 01:07:17,576
the chance to do that back home.
1175
01:07:23,248 --> 01:07:25,333
As you were.
1176
01:07:27,210 --> 01:07:30,297
I take it you are growing
accustomed to a palace life.
1177
01:07:30,380 --> 01:07:32,132
I mean...
1178
01:07:32,215 --> 01:07:35,802
aside from some insane rituals
y'all have here,
1179
01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:38,889
I suppose life here
ain't too bad.
1180
01:07:43,559 --> 01:07:45,840
Well, there are
certain disadvantages. -Uh-huh.
1181
01:07:45,896 --> 01:07:47,789
I mean, have you seen
a Zamundan movie? -Mm-mm.
1182
01:07:47,813 --> 01:07:49,648
Total baboon dung.
1183
01:07:49,733 --> 01:07:52,777
So, what, like, nothing
over a 30% on Rotten Papayas?
1184
01:07:52,860 --> 01:07:54,278
Ah.
1185
01:07:54,362 --> 01:07:56,489
American cinema is the best.
1186
01:07:56,572 --> 01:07:58,492
The best? That is, like,
1187
01:07:58,574 --> 01:08:00,869
the most blasphemous thing
I've ever heard.
1188
01:08:00,952 --> 01:08:03,079
What do we have
besides superhero shit,
1189
01:08:03,163 --> 01:08:07,333
uh, remakes and-and sequels
to old movies nobody asked for?
1190
01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:09,210
This is true about sequels.
1191
01:08:09,293 --> 01:08:10,711
If something is good...
1192
01:08:10,795 --> 01:08:12,130
...why ruin it?
1193
01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,465
Mm.
1194
01:08:13,547 --> 01:08:15,884
- Although there are exceptions.
- Like what?
1195
01:08:15,967 --> 01:08:17,927
Are you familiar
with the Barbershop series?
1196
01:08:18,011 --> 01:08:19,805
- Am I familiar with...
- Look at me.
1197
01:08:19,887 --> 01:08:22,265
Of course I'm familiar
with the Barbershop series.
1198
01:08:22,349 --> 01:08:26,310
My favorite spin-off is
the one with Queen Latifah.
1199
01:08:26,394 --> 01:08:28,854
Yeah, but that's not Barbershop.
1200
01:08:28,939 --> 01:08:31,440
That's Beauty Shop.
1201
01:08:31,524 --> 01:08:34,277
To-mah-to, to-may-to.
1202
01:08:34,360 --> 01:08:36,363
Potato, papaya.
1203
01:08:40,283 --> 01:08:42,452
So, what,
American entertainment?
1204
01:08:42,536 --> 01:08:44,537
Is that our biggest difference?
1205
01:08:45,956 --> 01:08:47,748
Well...
1206
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:51,502
there are certain freedoms
that exist outside of Zamunda.
1207
01:08:51,586 --> 01:08:53,255
Okay.
1208
01:08:53,337 --> 01:08:54,965
Like what?
1209
01:08:56,841 --> 01:08:59,426
Okay, this is
going to sound stupid,
1210
01:08:59,511 --> 01:09:02,555
but it has always been
a dream of mine to...
1211
01:09:02,639 --> 01:09:04,640
to one day have
my own barbershop.
1212
01:09:05,684 --> 01:09:06,768
Yo, that's awesome.
1213
01:09:08,103 --> 01:09:09,729
Are you making fun of me?
1214
01:09:09,813 --> 01:09:11,355
No.
1215
01:09:11,439 --> 01:09:13,190
Nah, I'm being dead-ass.
1216
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,775
Do it.
1217
01:09:14,859 --> 01:09:16,987
I-I don't know anybody
who can work scissors like you.
1218
01:09:17,069 --> 01:09:19,280
Well, except
women are not allowed
1219
01:09:19,363 --> 01:09:20,990
to own businesses in Zamunda.
1220
01:09:21,073 --> 01:09:23,033
You serious?
1221
01:09:23,118 --> 01:09:24,536
Indeed.
1222
01:09:24,618 --> 01:09:26,579
That's not cool.
1223
01:09:28,206 --> 01:09:30,667
Well, I'm prince, right?
1224
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:32,335
So, you know something?
1225
01:09:32,418 --> 01:09:34,503
As long as I'm prince,
1226
01:09:34,587 --> 01:09:37,298
I can promise you there's gonna
be some changes around here.
1227
01:09:37,381 --> 01:09:40,092
Well, that is very idealistic.
1228
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,887
But every prince...
1229
01:09:42,970 --> 01:09:45,140
promises to do things
differently,
1230
01:09:45,222 --> 01:09:47,725
but eventually, they do things
1231
01:09:47,809 --> 01:09:49,810
the same way they've always
been done before.
1232
01:09:51,061 --> 01:09:54,064
Yeah, well, I'm not like
every other prince.
1233
01:09:54,149 --> 01:09:56,192
Remember?
1234
01:09:56,275 --> 01:09:58,153
I'm a prince from Queens.
1235
01:09:59,194 --> 01:10:02,032
I wonder who told you that.
1236
01:10:02,114 --> 01:10:04,492
Somebody.
1237
01:10:13,752 --> 01:10:16,337
I should not have done that.
1238
01:10:16,421 --> 01:10:18,547
- I should not have done that.
- Wait. Wait, hold on.
1239
01:10:18,631 --> 01:10:20,050
Mirem...
1240
01:10:20,132 --> 01:10:21,760
Um...
1241
01:10:23,261 --> 01:10:26,305
I think it is best you go to bed
and get some rest.
1242
01:10:27,390 --> 01:10:29,725
Tomorrow is going to be
a very long day.
1243
01:10:29,809 --> 01:10:32,604
You are one step closer to...
1244
01:10:32,686 --> 01:10:34,898
marrying your princess.
1245
01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:40,319
Good night.
1246
01:10:59,255 --> 01:11:02,926
Presenting the crown prince
of Zamunda,
1247
01:11:03,009 --> 01:11:04,927
Prince Lavelle!
1248
01:11:28,784 --> 01:11:30,494
- King Akeem.
- Yes.
1249
01:11:30,578 --> 01:11:32,162
So wonderful to see you,
General.
1250
01:11:35,125 --> 01:11:36,542
Ooh.
1251
01:11:38,293 --> 01:11:40,296
- Prince Lavelle.
- General Izzi.
1252
01:11:40,380 --> 01:11:43,216
Please, allow me to reintroduce
1253
01:11:43,298 --> 01:11:47,136
my daughter, Bopoto!
1254
01:12:06,238 --> 01:12:08,658
My prince.
1255
01:12:08,742 --> 01:12:12,078
Perhaps you two should get to
know each other a little better.
1256
01:12:12,162 --> 01:12:13,203
Yes.
1257
01:12:21,712 --> 01:12:23,381
Oh.
1258
01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:26,801
Lovely.
1259
01:12:26,885 --> 01:12:29,179
Hey, dig this here.
1260
01:12:29,261 --> 01:12:33,891
Could I get two Crown Royals
for me and my royal compadre?
1261
01:12:33,975 --> 01:12:35,393
Compadre?
1262
01:12:35,476 --> 01:12:37,186
It means "friend."
1263
01:12:38,229 --> 01:12:40,355
I am Uncle Reem's friend.
1264
01:12:40,439 --> 01:12:41,649
Yes, you are.
1265
01:12:42,692 --> 01:12:43,902
Cheers.
1266
01:12:43,984 --> 01:12:45,779
How you doing? Hey, ladies.
1267
01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,404
How you doing? Mm.
1268
01:12:47,488 --> 01:12:48,823
I know I look good.
1269
01:12:48,907 --> 01:12:50,324
Mm, a makeover.
1270
01:12:50,408 --> 01:12:52,077
My hair is on point.
1271
01:12:52,159 --> 01:12:54,287
New dress. Who this?
1272
01:12:54,369 --> 01:12:56,163
Well, if you're
going to wear that dress,
1273
01:12:56,247 --> 01:12:57,998
then you should wear this.
1274
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:05,340
Oh, my God.
1275
01:13:05,422 --> 01:13:07,007
Are you serious?
1276
01:13:07,091 --> 01:13:08,676
Yes. Turn around.
1277
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:10,345
Oh, my goodness.
1278
01:13:10,427 --> 01:13:12,137
Oh.
1279
01:13:13,430 --> 01:13:15,557
I can't believe it.
This is so beautiful.
1280
01:13:15,641 --> 01:13:17,519
I know you gonna want this back.
1281
01:13:17,601 --> 01:13:18,603
It's a gift.
1282
01:13:18,685 --> 01:13:19,854
You're family now.
1283
01:13:21,605 --> 01:13:23,274
- Let's go get drunk.
- What?
1284
01:13:23,358 --> 01:13:26,360
Yes, girl, me and you
'bout to turn it up.
1285
01:13:26,444 --> 01:13:28,029
Hey, bartender!
1286
01:13:28,113 --> 01:13:30,239
Let me have some of
your finest drink.
1287
01:13:30,323 --> 01:13:32,367
Two shots of chilled Cîroc.
1288
01:13:37,872 --> 01:13:41,292
So, uh... marriage.
1289
01:13:41,376 --> 01:13:42,918
It's a big step.
1290
01:13:43,962 --> 01:13:46,547
I will make you a happy prince.
1291
01:13:50,301 --> 01:13:51,845
What about you?
1292
01:13:51,927 --> 01:13:54,555
How can I make you
a happy princess?
1293
01:13:54,639 --> 01:13:56,431
What do you like?
1294
01:13:56,515 --> 01:13:59,519
Whatever you like.
1295
01:14:00,561 --> 01:14:02,229
Okay, I'll back up.
1296
01:14:02,313 --> 01:14:06,150
Uh, Bopoto,
what's your favorite movie?
1297
01:14:06,234 --> 01:14:09,737
Whatever is your favorite movie.
1298
01:14:09,820 --> 01:14:12,239
Uh... is there a goal you have?
1299
01:14:12,323 --> 01:14:14,701
Is-is there a business
that you want to start?
1300
01:14:14,783 --> 01:14:17,703
Whatever business
you'd like to start.
1301
01:14:27,087 --> 01:14:31,134
I want to have a connection
with the person
1302
01:14:31,216 --> 01:14:34,386
that I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
1303
01:14:34,470 --> 01:14:36,972
But I am just a wife.
1304
01:14:43,896 --> 01:14:45,981
- Can you wait right here?
- Okay.
1305
01:14:46,064 --> 01:14:48,150
- But what shall I do?
- Just wait.
1306
01:14:48,234 --> 01:14:49,944
Right here.
1307
01:14:51,320 --> 01:14:53,072
I shall wait here.
1308
01:14:54,073 --> 01:14:55,783
Okay.
1309
01:15:17,305 --> 01:15:18,765
Everything is coming out...
1310
01:15:18,847 --> 01:15:20,807
Hey, um, I don't mean
to interrupt,
1311
01:15:20,891 --> 01:15:23,770
but, Mutombo, do you mind
if I have a minute with her?
1312
01:15:23,853 --> 01:15:25,145
My bad, man.
1313
01:15:25,229 --> 01:15:27,064
No, no, no.
1314
01:15:27,148 --> 01:15:28,608
It's your party, Prince.
1315
01:15:28,690 --> 01:15:30,609
Come here, you gentle giant.
1316
01:15:30,693 --> 01:15:32,654
Yeah.
1317
01:15:32,737 --> 01:15:34,863
I need to talk to you.
1318
01:15:36,073 --> 01:15:37,951
There's nothing for us
to talk about.
1319
01:15:38,033 --> 01:15:39,284
Excuse me.
1320
01:15:39,368 --> 01:15:40,619
Yes, there is.
1321
01:15:40,703 --> 01:15:42,829
I don't want to marry her.
1322
01:15:50,212 --> 01:15:52,465
I want to be with you.
1323
01:15:54,091 --> 01:15:57,302
You and only you are
the reason why I'm a prince.
1324
01:15:57,386 --> 01:15:59,514
But, Lavelle...
1325
01:15:59,596 --> 01:16:00,974
Look.
1326
01:16:01,975 --> 01:16:03,850
My father...
1327
01:16:03,935 --> 01:16:05,520
he'll understand.
1328
01:16:07,521 --> 01:16:09,274
I'll be right back.
1329
01:16:13,403 --> 01:16:16,738
I must say, you are more like
your father than I thought.
1330
01:16:16,823 --> 01:16:19,033
Oh, really?
Why do you say that, General?
1331
01:16:19,117 --> 01:16:21,368
Snatching up this bastard boy
from America
1332
01:16:21,452 --> 01:16:24,329
and throwing him
into our kingly affairs...
1333
01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:27,041
like a chess pawn?
1334
01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:32,171
Your pawn just took
a future queen,
1335
01:16:32,255 --> 01:16:34,716
and now there can be peace.
1336
01:16:34,798 --> 01:16:36,842
And profit.
1337
01:16:38,469 --> 01:16:40,095
Well played, King Akeem.
1338
01:16:40,179 --> 01:16:42,097
Well played.
1339
01:16:49,104 --> 01:16:51,899
I need to find my mom.
I need to find my Uncle Reem.
1340
01:16:53,067 --> 01:16:55,278
We got to bust out
of this bullshit, man.
1341
01:16:55,360 --> 01:16:57,279
Wh-Why? Where are we going?
1342
01:16:57,363 --> 01:16:58,823
Home.
1343
01:17:00,324 --> 01:17:02,243
A home...
1344
01:17:02,327 --> 01:17:05,704
A home that we can build
together.
1345
01:17:24,349 --> 01:17:26,434
Uh, where is Prince Lavelle?
1346
01:17:26,516 --> 01:17:29,604
My prince asked me to stay here
about an hour ago.
1347
01:17:33,815 --> 01:17:37,819
Prince Lavelle Junson was seen
fleeing with the royal groomer.
1348
01:17:37,904 --> 01:17:39,654
And he took his Uncle Reem
1349
01:17:39,738 --> 01:17:41,341
and that wretched woman
with him, as well.
1350
01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:43,033
Show respect.
1351
01:17:43,117 --> 01:17:45,118
She is still
the mother of my son.
1352
01:17:45,203 --> 01:17:47,497
She took the royal jet.
1353
01:17:47,579 --> 01:17:49,247
That thieving bitch.
1354
01:17:49,332 --> 01:17:50,832
King Akeem.
1355
01:17:51,876 --> 01:17:53,836
Where is your prince?
1356
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:55,587
Ah, I do believe he has gone
1357
01:17:55,671 --> 01:17:57,798
for one of his, um,
evening strolls.
1358
01:17:57,881 --> 01:18:00,051
He does that from time to time
to clear his mind.
1359
01:18:00,134 --> 01:18:01,636
Oh.
1360
01:18:01,719 --> 01:18:04,180
I hope he's not getting
cold feet.
1361
01:18:04,262 --> 01:18:06,515
Nonsense.
1362
01:18:06,599 --> 01:18:08,016
Good.
1363
01:18:08,100 --> 01:18:11,145
Because I will be expecting
a wedding tomorrow.
1364
01:18:11,229 --> 01:18:12,688
Of course.
1365
01:18:16,609 --> 01:18:19,820
Wedding bells, wedding bells.
1366
01:18:21,780 --> 01:18:23,824
Everything that I have
done for him,
1367
01:18:23,908 --> 01:18:25,576
I can't believe
he has done this.
1368
01:18:25,659 --> 01:18:27,994
I make him a prince,
I give him a chance to finally
1369
01:18:28,078 --> 01:18:30,539
make something of himself,
and this is how he repays me!
1370
01:18:30,622 --> 01:18:34,167
I finally made
a friend from my own hood,
1371
01:18:34,252 --> 01:18:36,045
and now she's gone.
1372
01:18:36,128 --> 01:18:39,673
Oh, I'm-a miss her crazy ass.
1373
01:18:39,756 --> 01:18:41,551
He could've told me
about this groomer.
1374
01:18:41,634 --> 01:18:44,345
But, no, instead he runs off
to America without a word to me.
1375
01:18:44,429 --> 01:18:47,681
It is the most selfish act,
unworthy of a Joffer!
1376
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:49,391
It is spineless!
1377
01:18:49,475 --> 01:18:51,769
Like father, like son.
1378
01:18:51,853 --> 01:18:53,395
What did you say?
1379
01:18:53,479 --> 01:18:55,439
- Uppity bitch say what?
- What?
1380
01:18:58,693 --> 01:19:01,237
You are intoxicated, my queen.
1381
01:19:01,319 --> 01:19:03,488
All kinds of
wiggity-wack stuff happens
1382
01:19:03,573 --> 01:19:06,367
when you are drunk and high,
1383
01:19:06,451 --> 01:19:10,078
including making babies
1384
01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:14,250
that you don't know
anything about.
1385
01:19:14,332 --> 01:19:16,668
Right now you are getting
very in and out of my pocket.
1386
01:19:16,752 --> 01:19:19,671
Are you trying to say
I'm out of pocket?
1387
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:21,942
What I am saying is, when a
person is drunk, they may say
1388
01:19:21,966 --> 01:19:23,484
- something that they regret...
- So, whenever a woman
1389
01:19:23,509 --> 01:19:24,987
speaks her mind, including
our daughter, then you just...
1390
01:19:25,011 --> 01:19:26,451
...so I suggest
you mind your tongue!
1391
01:19:29,974 --> 01:19:32,018
What happened to you, Akeem?
1392
01:19:32,100 --> 01:19:36,063
You were supposed to
change things.
1393
01:19:36,146 --> 01:19:39,524
You were supposed to bring this
kingdom to the 21st century,
1394
01:19:39,609 --> 01:19:43,945
but instead,
you push our daughter aside,
1395
01:19:44,029 --> 01:19:49,034
someone who has dedicated
her life to this country.
1396
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:51,621
And because she's a woman,
1397
01:19:51,703 --> 01:19:53,914
she can't be your heir?
1398
01:19:53,997 --> 01:19:57,001
I cannot ignore
hundreds of years of tradition.
1399
01:19:57,083 --> 01:19:58,668
I am the ruler of this land.
1400
01:19:58,752 --> 01:20:00,421
I must be strong.
1401
01:20:05,342 --> 01:20:06,761
I get it.
1402
01:20:08,261 --> 01:20:10,430
You're the king.
1403
01:20:10,515 --> 01:20:12,641
Well, I'll tell you what.
1404
01:20:12,725 --> 01:20:15,770
There are a lot of other beds
in this castle.
1405
01:20:16,770 --> 01:20:19,981
I suggest you find another one.
1406
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:24,362
Would you dare banish me
from my own bedroom?
1407
01:20:24,444 --> 01:20:26,154
Are you a fool?
1408
01:20:26,238 --> 01:20:29,742
Do you see me hopping on one leg
and barking like a dog?
1409
01:20:56,060 --> 01:20:57,728
What the hell is going on here?
1410
01:20:57,811 --> 01:20:59,354
He's in the back.
1411
01:20:59,438 --> 01:21:01,649
He's been here for hours.
1412
01:21:07,404 --> 01:21:08,655
Akeem.
1413
01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:12,868
How you doing, son?
1414
01:21:14,119 --> 01:21:16,162
I used to quite enjoy mopping.
1415
01:21:16,247 --> 01:21:18,666
It was simple,
and it made sense.
1416
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:25,922
Every day, I have moved
closer to the comfort of life,
1417
01:21:26,006 --> 01:21:28,050
and now my eyes are open,
1418
01:21:28,134 --> 01:21:29,969
and the man that
I always wanted to be
1419
01:21:30,051 --> 01:21:31,679
is on the other side
of the world.
1420
01:21:31,761 --> 01:21:33,305
Lavelle.
1421
01:21:33,389 --> 01:21:36,891
Yes, he has fleed to America
for love just as I did.
1422
01:21:36,975 --> 01:21:38,728
And now,
because of my stubbornness,
1423
01:21:38,810 --> 01:21:40,770
I have run off my own son.
1424
01:21:42,064 --> 01:21:43,774
Failed him as a father.
1425
01:21:43,858 --> 01:21:46,402
You're not just a father.
1426
01:21:46,484 --> 01:21:48,112
You're the king.
1427
01:21:48,194 --> 01:21:51,198
And heavy lies the head
that wears the crown.
1428
01:21:51,282 --> 01:21:53,993
Yes, I understand
that expression more now.
1429
01:21:54,076 --> 01:21:56,537
It's not so much the crown
that is so heavy.
1430
01:21:56,621 --> 01:22:00,041
It's everything
that comes with it. Hmm?
1431
01:22:00,123 --> 01:22:01,833
You've got your country to run
1432
01:22:01,917 --> 01:22:04,753
and a crazy-ass general
breathing down your neck.
1433
01:22:04,837 --> 01:22:06,671
And on top of all that,
1434
01:22:06,756 --> 01:22:09,507
you got to be
a husband and a father.
1435
01:22:09,591 --> 01:22:11,719
Yes, you can see
that is most troubling.
1436
01:22:11,801 --> 01:22:13,511
- Oh, I get it.
- Of course you get it.
1437
01:22:13,595 --> 01:22:15,597
You are the king
of your own castle.
1438
01:22:15,680 --> 01:22:18,100
And the troubles never stop,
Akeem.
1439
01:22:18,184 --> 01:22:20,226
When I introduced the McFlurby,
1440
01:22:20,310 --> 01:22:21,979
the McDonald's lawyers
came after me
1441
01:22:22,063 --> 01:22:24,564
the same way this General Izzi
is coming after you.
1442
01:22:24,649 --> 01:22:28,234
Cease-and-desist letters,
copyright infringement.
1443
01:22:28,319 --> 01:22:32,448
I mean, the McFlurby
is nothing like the McFlurry.
1444
01:22:32,530 --> 01:22:35,326
We put our toppings
on the bottom.
1445
01:22:36,786 --> 01:22:38,371
So you have to stay strong.
1446
01:22:38,453 --> 01:22:40,288
And you have to put
McDowell's first.
1447
01:22:40,372 --> 01:22:42,917
- I am McDowell's.
- And I am Zamunda.
1448
01:22:43,000 --> 01:22:44,292
It's not the Golden Arches.
1449
01:22:44,377 --> 01:22:46,420
It's the Golden Arcs.
1450
01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:47,837
And I'm the boss.
1451
01:22:47,921 --> 01:22:50,006
And I am the MF'ing king.
1452
01:22:50,091 --> 01:22:51,341
You damn right you are.
1453
01:22:51,425 --> 01:22:54,261
Cleo, thank you.
1454
01:22:54,345 --> 01:22:57,055
I much needed to hear
the wisdom of a father.
1455
01:22:57,139 --> 01:22:58,890
Well, I'm sure your father
would understand
1456
01:22:58,974 --> 01:23:01,310
- what you're going through.
- Yes.
1457
01:23:04,020 --> 01:23:05,021
Akeem.
1458
01:23:06,606 --> 01:23:09,318
What do you think
your mother would say now?
1459
01:23:10,528 --> 01:23:12,404
My mother?
1460
01:23:12,488 --> 01:23:14,364
The queen.
1461
01:23:14,448 --> 01:23:18,618
I always thought that she was
the wisest of all the Joffers.
1462
01:23:18,703 --> 01:23:21,122
What do you think
she would say to you now, son?
1463
01:23:31,172 --> 01:23:32,675
Zamundans, rise.
1464
01:23:32,757 --> 01:23:34,135
Prepare the royal jet.
1465
01:23:34,217 --> 01:23:35,636
I shall return to America
1466
01:23:35,720 --> 01:23:37,805
and retrieve
this errant child of mine.
1467
01:23:37,887 --> 01:23:39,765
General Izzi will return
in one day,
1468
01:23:39,849 --> 01:23:43,060
and if there's no wedding,
he most certainly will attack.
1469
01:23:43,144 --> 01:23:45,104
You stay here
and protect my family.
1470
01:23:45,186 --> 01:23:47,523
I'm no warrior, Your Majesty.
1471
01:23:47,605 --> 01:23:48,940
Remember who you are.
1472
01:23:49,024 --> 01:23:50,484
You are a son of Zamunda.
1473
01:23:50,568 --> 01:23:52,569
Be strong.
1474
01:23:58,492 --> 01:24:00,411
And I'll tell you
something else.
1475
01:24:00,493 --> 01:24:02,078
I only like redbone gals.
1476
01:24:02,162 --> 01:24:04,582
Oh, see, that's where we part.
I like my women Black.
1477
01:24:04,664 --> 01:24:05,875
I want a woman so Black,
1478
01:24:05,957 --> 01:24:07,626
when you make love,
you need a flashlight.
1479
01:24:07,710 --> 01:24:09,211
I'm looking for
the good stuff, man.
1480
01:24:09,295 --> 01:24:10,546
Hey! Mufasa!
1481
01:24:10,628 --> 01:24:12,965
Hey, I hear you got
your boy back.
1482
01:24:13,047 --> 01:24:14,841
My son has returned to Queens.
1483
01:24:14,925 --> 01:24:16,153
It is most urgent
that I find him.
1484
01:24:16,176 --> 01:24:17,695
You know, he was here
a little while ago
1485
01:24:17,720 --> 01:24:19,530
with a fine little, pretty
African thing. Wasn't she fine?
1486
01:24:19,555 --> 01:24:21,890
Mm-hmm! -Yeah, talking about
getting her a job here.
1487
01:24:21,974 --> 01:24:23,684
Then they gonna
save up her money.
1488
01:24:23,768 --> 01:24:25,728
Then she gonna get
her own place. -That's right.
1489
01:24:25,770 --> 01:24:27,372
I told her she could start
right now, she was so fine.
1490
01:24:27,395 --> 01:24:29,956
That's right. -But, she... they
had to go off to their nuptials.
1491
01:24:31,233 --> 01:24:32,650
Nuptials?
1492
01:24:32,734 --> 01:24:34,278
- Yeah.
- Where?
1493
01:24:34,360 --> 01:24:35,779
Near that Chinese restaurant
1494
01:24:35,863 --> 01:24:37,573
where I caught the runs
last Saturday.
1495
01:24:37,655 --> 01:24:39,158
- What?
- Oh, King Yum's.
1496
01:24:39,240 --> 01:24:40,385
Gentlemen,
I have no time for this.
1497
01:24:40,408 --> 01:24:42,328
That egg foo yong
made me have to stop off
1498
01:24:42,411 --> 01:24:45,497
at my sister's last week
and make an emergency dump.
1499
01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,082
Silence!
1500
01:24:47,166 --> 01:24:48,643
I have no time to listen
to your stories
1501
01:24:48,667 --> 01:24:49,793
about your bowel movements.
1502
01:24:49,877 --> 01:24:51,837
Where is the ceremony?
1503
01:24:51,921 --> 01:24:54,422
- Church of Holy Jubilation.
- Thank you.
1504
01:24:55,716 --> 01:24:57,842
You're welcome.
1505
01:25:00,136 --> 01:25:02,597
Who the hell he think
he talking to? Coming in here...
1506
01:25:02,680 --> 01:25:04,408
Just 'cause he a king.
I got a dog named King.
1507
01:25:04,432 --> 01:25:05,659
Yeah, he ain't
the king of this shop.
1508
01:25:05,684 --> 01:25:07,394
- I'm the king of this shop.
- Exactly.
1509
01:25:07,478 --> 01:25:09,729
He was nicer
when he was a prince.
1510
01:25:16,904 --> 01:25:19,030
Is this a pious house of God?
1511
01:25:19,113 --> 01:25:21,574
If "pious" means cheap,
well, then you right.
1512
01:25:21,658 --> 01:25:23,618
This the best house of God
we could find
1513
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:24,994
on a Tuesday afternoon.
1514
01:25:25,078 --> 01:25:26,872
So let's get these rings
on these fingers
1515
01:25:26,956 --> 01:25:28,998
before the all-day shrimp
ends at Sizzler's.
1516
01:25:29,082 --> 01:25:30,842
I don't even know why
they call it "all-day."
1517
01:25:30,876 --> 01:25:32,043
It ends at 6:00.
1518
01:25:32,127 --> 01:25:33,628
Look, baby,
it's about the love, okay?
1519
01:25:33,712 --> 01:25:35,296
Not the shrimp.
1520
01:25:35,381 --> 01:25:36,966
- What's a Sizzler?
- It's nothing.
1521
01:25:48,226 --> 01:25:52,064
I assume the prince has returned
from his midnight stroll
1522
01:25:52,146 --> 01:25:55,442
and is prepared
to marry my daughter.
1523
01:25:55,525 --> 01:25:58,237
My apologies, General.
1524
01:25:58,319 --> 01:26:01,782
Prince Lavelle is
currently indisposed.
1525
01:26:01,865 --> 01:26:03,701
Indisposed?
1526
01:26:03,783 --> 01:26:05,786
Really?
1527
01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:08,538
I will not continue
to be jerked around
1528
01:26:08,622 --> 01:26:10,541
like a howler monkey
1529
01:26:10,623 --> 01:26:13,127
grazing in a field
of horny goat weeds.
1530
01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:17,006
Now, you tell me,
where is King Akeem?
1531
01:26:30,519 --> 01:26:32,145
All right.
1532
01:26:32,229 --> 01:26:34,064
Let's get hitched.
1533
01:26:35,858 --> 01:26:37,359
Let there be light.
1534
01:26:37,443 --> 01:26:38,527
Hey!
1535
01:26:39,987 --> 01:26:43,823
We are gathered here today
1536
01:26:43,908 --> 01:26:48,119
for the meeting
of these two beautiful souls,
1537
01:26:48,203 --> 01:26:52,166
pressed together
like a pair of sumptuous...
1538
01:26:53,207 --> 01:26:54,627
...beings.
1539
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:56,587
Yeah, Lord.
1540
01:26:56,670 --> 01:26:59,297
- Amen! Amen!
- Amen!
1541
01:26:59,381 --> 01:27:00,798
- Feel his presence?
- Yes, Father.
1542
01:27:00,882 --> 01:27:02,134
I can't wait to go home and...
1543
01:27:02,216 --> 01:27:05,345
Look, um, I just
want to apologize.
1544
01:27:05,429 --> 01:27:10,016
I know this isn't exactly the
wedding you've always imagined.
1545
01:27:10,100 --> 01:27:12,310
I don't know why
you would apologize.
1546
01:27:12,394 --> 01:27:15,730
I'd always imagined there'd be
a womanizing, sexist officiant
1547
01:27:15,814 --> 01:27:19,693
leading a very strange ceremony
in black socks.
1548
01:27:20,735 --> 01:27:22,820
It couldn't be more perfect.
1549
01:27:22,904 --> 01:27:25,282
So nice, I want 'em to
say it twice. -Go on, preacher!
1550
01:27:25,365 --> 01:27:26,574
Amen!
1551
01:27:26,658 --> 01:27:28,702
- Say it again. -Amen, girl.
- Hallelujah! Amen!
1552
01:27:28,786 --> 01:27:30,137
- Yes!
- Go on, girl!
1553
01:27:30,162 --> 01:27:32,206
- Yeah!
- That's right, girl.
1554
01:27:32,288 --> 01:27:33,498
You family now.
1555
01:27:36,085 --> 01:27:37,586
Take her.
1556
01:27:38,587 --> 01:27:39,671
Keep her as a prisoner
1557
01:27:39,755 --> 01:27:43,550
until King Akeem
gives me my answer.
1558
01:27:43,634 --> 01:27:45,927
- Zoot!
- Zoot!
1559
01:27:59,108 --> 01:28:01,484
Teach this girl some respect.
1560
01:28:17,292 --> 01:28:18,836
Halt!
1561
01:28:20,128 --> 01:28:21,889
Take me to the Church
of the Holy Jubilation.
1562
01:28:21,921 --> 01:28:24,298
Sorry, pal. You're gonna
have to go into the app.
1563
01:28:24,382 --> 01:28:25,926
You can get a Lyft Lux.
1564
01:28:26,010 --> 01:28:27,153
It's rush hour surge pricing.
1565
01:28:27,176 --> 01:28:28,804
You might want
to look for a promo code.
1566
01:28:34,976 --> 01:28:38,689
Fighting is not for pretty girls
and princesses.
1567
01:28:38,771 --> 01:28:41,692
Your king and father
should have taught you
1568
01:28:41,774 --> 01:28:44,737
to be more polite,
1569
01:28:44,819 --> 01:28:46,822
not so nasty.
1570
01:28:49,198 --> 01:28:51,577
Oh?
1571
01:28:55,497 --> 01:28:59,042
Defend yourself, you sweat
from a baboon's balls.
1572
01:29:22,274 --> 01:29:23,274
Meeka!
1573
01:29:38,039 --> 01:29:39,707
Perhaps now you would like
1574
01:29:39,792 --> 01:29:42,586
to solve your problems
diplomatically.
1575
01:29:45,338 --> 01:29:47,341
Do I have your attention?
1576
01:29:49,342 --> 01:29:50,469
I'm listening.
1577
01:29:51,761 --> 01:29:54,847
Now it's time for
the main event, young folks.
1578
01:29:54,931 --> 01:29:58,143
Lavelle Junson, do you take...
1579
01:29:58,226 --> 01:30:00,354
Stop!
1580
01:30:01,854 --> 01:30:04,733
Did you run here
all the way from Africa?
1581
01:30:04,817 --> 01:30:07,152
Lavelle, you cannot do this.
1582
01:30:07,235 --> 01:30:09,529
And you cannot turn your back
on your family.
1583
01:30:09,613 --> 01:30:11,693
Family?! Let me tell you
something! -Oh!
1584
01:30:11,739 --> 01:30:12,801
- I raised that boy!
- You ain't gonna
1585
01:30:12,824 --> 01:30:14,033
run in here from Zamunda...
1586
01:30:14,118 --> 01:30:16,328
I know what I am to you!
1587
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:19,288
I heard everything
General Izzi said to you.
1588
01:30:19,372 --> 01:30:22,042
Using me as a chess pawn, right?
1589
01:30:22,126 --> 01:30:24,670
- Lavelle, my son...
- Don't "son" me!
1590
01:30:24,752 --> 01:30:28,256
I'm gonna live my life
with the woman I love.
1591
01:30:28,340 --> 01:30:31,801
Ain't no castle
or mountain of gold
1592
01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:33,929
that's gonna stop me
from loving her.
1593
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:37,850
And I'm-a try my hardest
to make her happy.
1594
01:30:39,560 --> 01:30:42,311
Now, do you or do you not
understand that?
1595
01:31:01,497 --> 01:31:03,457
I do.
1596
01:31:10,006 --> 01:31:12,301
Long ago, I had your spirit.
1597
01:31:14,051 --> 01:31:18,265
I may not have been
as brave as you, Lavelle Junson,
1598
01:31:18,347 --> 01:31:21,059
but I know true love.
1599
01:31:21,143 --> 01:31:26,939
When I told my mother that
my true love was my Queen Lisa,
1600
01:31:27,024 --> 01:31:29,150
she urged me to go to her,
1601
01:31:29,234 --> 01:31:32,487
just as you have for your bride.
1602
01:31:32,570 --> 01:31:35,239
The burdens of my country
are not yours to carry.
1603
01:31:36,574 --> 01:31:38,911
And if you want to stay here
in Queens and marry
1604
01:31:38,993 --> 01:31:42,122
this fine Zamundan woman,
I shall not stand in your path.
1605
01:31:42,206 --> 01:31:45,458
I've been ruled by fear
for far too long.
1606
01:31:45,542 --> 01:31:48,252
It's time for me to start
becoming my own king.
1607
01:31:51,590 --> 01:31:53,591
My own man.
1608
01:31:55,551 --> 01:31:57,720
Just as you did, my son.
1609
01:32:03,393 --> 01:32:06,896
So, please excuse my intrusion.
Carry on, please.
1610
01:32:06,979 --> 01:32:08,373
Oh, wait, wait,
we into overtime now.
1611
01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:09,942
I need 200 more dollars.
1612
01:32:10,024 --> 01:32:12,462
What you need is to start this
ceremony before I come up there
1613
01:32:12,485 --> 01:32:14,988
- and beat your...
- Mary, Mary, if our son
1614
01:32:15,072 --> 01:32:18,242
wants to be married
in this glorious house of...
1615
01:32:18,324 --> 01:32:21,411
in-in this glorious house...
1616
01:32:21,494 --> 01:32:23,372
This is a house of God,
isn't it?
1617
01:32:23,454 --> 01:32:25,082
More like a crack house of God.
1618
01:32:25,164 --> 01:32:26,792
Ah. Then it shall be
1619
01:32:26,875 --> 01:32:28,752
as magnificent
as a palace ceremony.
1620
01:32:28,835 --> 01:32:29,920
Come. Sit.
1621
01:32:31,337 --> 01:32:33,090
Yes, continue.
1622
01:32:33,172 --> 01:32:35,007
This doesn't feel right.
1623
01:32:35,091 --> 01:32:37,761
What?
You don't want to get married?
1624
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:41,347
No, I'm not saying
I-I don't want to get married.
1625
01:32:41,430 --> 01:32:42,431
Then what?
1626
01:32:42,515 --> 01:32:44,225
Zamunda's my home.
1627
01:32:44,309 --> 01:32:46,895
It is my pride and my joy.
1628
01:32:46,979 --> 01:32:50,231
And what about your sisters?
1629
01:32:50,314 --> 01:32:52,024
You think they don't need you?
1630
01:32:53,234 --> 01:32:54,860
Well, um...
1631
01:32:56,113 --> 01:32:58,114
...maybe we should get married
at the palace.
1632
01:32:58,198 --> 01:33:00,492
But what about your people here?
1633
01:33:00,574 --> 01:33:03,161
What about the land of Queens?
1634
01:33:03,244 --> 01:33:04,412
Wait.
1635
01:33:05,413 --> 01:33:07,623
Hear me now.
1636
01:33:07,707 --> 01:33:10,418
I am King Akeem Joffer,
1637
01:33:10,502 --> 01:33:13,130
and I'm bestowed
with great power.
1638
01:33:13,212 --> 01:33:17,551
I shall bring Queens to Zamunda!
1639
01:33:17,634 --> 01:33:19,094
Yes!
1640
01:33:19,176 --> 01:33:20,554
That's what I'm talking about.
1641
01:33:20,636 --> 01:33:22,514
They still wear silk.
1642
01:33:22,596 --> 01:33:24,975
Where the hell is Zamunda?
1643
01:34:14,358 --> 01:34:16,359
I will always do
what is right for Zamunda.
1644
01:34:16,443 --> 01:34:18,403
That is my oath as king.
1645
01:34:19,488 --> 01:34:21,030
And I promise you,
1646
01:34:21,113 --> 01:34:24,533
I shall always do
what is right for our family.
1647
01:34:24,618 --> 01:34:27,578
That is my oath to you,
1648
01:34:27,662 --> 01:34:29,663
Lisa,
1649
01:34:29,747 --> 01:34:31,582
my queen.
1650
01:34:52,979 --> 01:34:56,983
Presenting the crown prince
of Zamunda,
1651
01:34:57,067 --> 01:34:58,609
Prince Lavelle,
1652
01:34:58,693 --> 01:35:01,738
and his bride, Princess Mirembe.
1653
01:35:33,686 --> 01:35:36,730
I think my kingdom was safer
with me gone and you in charge.
1654
01:35:36,814 --> 01:35:41,528
I simply acted as my father
and king has instructed.
1655
01:35:41,610 --> 01:35:44,363
And that is why
I've issued a decree to Baba.
1656
01:35:46,158 --> 01:35:48,368
When I am gone,
1657
01:35:48,452 --> 01:35:51,621
Meeka Joffer shall rule
as queen.
1658
01:35:51,704 --> 01:35:54,039
- But the laws.
- Will change.
1659
01:35:54,123 --> 01:35:57,586
With more changes to come
with your guidance.
1660
01:35:57,668 --> 01:35:59,337
And what about Prince Lavelle?
1661
01:35:59,421 --> 01:36:02,841
Prince Lavelle shall serve
as an ambassador to America.
1662
01:36:02,923 --> 01:36:04,926
Thank you.
1663
01:36:05,010 --> 01:36:07,011
And as your brother.
1664
01:36:11,725 --> 01:36:13,726
Forgive an old fool.
1665
01:36:15,479 --> 01:36:19,315
Old fool
who loves you very much.
1666
01:36:26,280 --> 01:36:28,324
- Hi. How y'all doing?
- This is Mary.
1667
01:36:28,408 --> 01:36:29,909
Y'all look good tonight.
1668
01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:31,203
Hey. How you doing?
1669
01:36:31,286 --> 01:36:32,926
Girl, you is making
a statement with that.
1670
01:36:32,953 --> 01:36:34,222
- You is making a statement.
- Thank you.
1671
01:36:34,247 --> 01:36:36,291
King Akeem.
1672
01:36:36,373 --> 01:36:40,795
Love has once again triumphed
in Zamunda.
1673
01:36:43,131 --> 01:36:44,673
Oh, children,
you can go and play.
1674
01:36:44,757 --> 01:36:46,467
Go dance.
Shake your booties off.
1675
01:36:46,551 --> 01:36:50,095
I hear the trade routes have
reopened between our nations.
1676
01:36:50,180 --> 01:36:53,307
Yes. It will be a prosperous
1677
01:36:53,390 --> 01:36:57,020
and peaceful time
for us old heads.
1678
01:36:58,813 --> 01:37:01,190
I want to thank you
for releasing my sister
1679
01:37:01,274 --> 01:37:03,234
from her canine curse.
1680
01:37:17,832 --> 01:37:20,167
Yeah, give it up!
Give it up for Davido!
1681
01:37:20,252 --> 01:37:22,378
My man.
1682
01:37:22,462 --> 01:37:23,921
All right, all right.
1683
01:37:24,005 --> 01:37:25,465
Where are my people
from Zamunda at?
1684
01:37:28,760 --> 01:37:32,055
Dig all that. Okay, now,
where my people from Queens at?
1685
01:37:32,137 --> 01:37:33,139
Queens!
1686
01:37:33,222 --> 01:37:34,890
- Yeah!
- Hey, right here!
1687
01:37:34,975 --> 01:37:36,202
- We in the house!
- In the building!
1688
01:37:36,225 --> 01:37:37,586
- In the building!
- We in Zamunda!
1689
01:37:39,563 --> 01:37:41,564
Well, I can dig that, too.
1690
01:37:41,648 --> 01:37:44,650
We're about to fix it
into overdrive, okay? -
1691
01:37:44,734 --> 01:37:48,195
First of all, shout-out
to King Akeem and his family
1692
01:37:48,279 --> 01:37:51,115
for bringing my favorite artist
back to Africa... -
1693
01:37:51,198 --> 01:37:52,701
Who is it? Who is it?
1694
01:37:52,783 --> 01:37:54,661
- Wait, Kendrick Lamar?
- No.
1695
01:37:54,743 --> 01:37:56,871
All right, we gonna
take this old-school now, okay?
1696
01:37:56,954 --> 01:37:58,372
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1697
01:37:58,456 --> 01:37:59,748
- Mary J. Blige.
- No.
1698
01:37:59,832 --> 01:38:01,835
- Diana Ross!
- Nope.
1699
01:38:01,917 --> 01:38:04,628
He's my cousin.
He's also my inspiration.
1700
01:38:04,712 --> 01:38:07,256
Okay? He's the wind
beneath my wings.
1701
01:38:07,340 --> 01:38:08,675
Don't play.
1702
01:38:08,757 --> 01:38:10,278
Who could be better
than Diana Ross? Tell me!
1703
01:38:10,301 --> 01:38:11,988
- Oh, you'll see.
- Okay, I want y'all
1704
01:38:12,011 --> 01:38:14,764
to put your hands together
for Randy Watson!
1705
01:38:14,847 --> 01:38:16,533
Randy Watson in here?!
1706
01:38:16,557 --> 01:38:18,935
- And his band...
- Oh, Lord.
1707
01:38:19,019 --> 01:38:21,270
...Sexual Chocolate!
1708
01:38:57,724 --> 01:38:58,850
That boy good.
1709
01:39:09,653 --> 01:39:11,070
Feel me, now.
1710
01:39:11,154 --> 01:39:13,405
I just want to tell you
that every Sunday
1711
01:39:13,489 --> 01:39:15,074
I take my mama
to get a McFlurby.
1712
01:39:15,158 --> 01:39:16,493
I love you, Cleo.
1713
01:39:18,953 --> 01:39:22,207
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
without any further ado,
1714
01:39:22,289 --> 01:39:25,585
I give you Fresh Peaches
and Sugar Cube!
1715
01:39:42,018 --> 01:39:43,686
Play that saxophone.
1716
01:39:47,774 --> 01:39:50,193
It's a party over here!
1717
01:39:50,275 --> 01:39:51,277
Party over here!
1718
01:39:51,360 --> 01:39:53,613
Amen.
1719
01:39:53,697 --> 01:39:55,823
God woke me up
early this morning.
1720
01:39:57,701 --> 01:39:59,386
somebody to love, go out
and find somebody to love.
1721
01:40:10,587 --> 01:40:12,716
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
1722
01:40:15,592 --> 01:40:17,845
- Hey.
- What say you, brother?
1723
01:40:17,929 --> 01:40:21,265
Would you like to leave all this
and go back to Queens?
1724
01:40:32,318 --> 01:40:33,653
Nah.
1725
01:40:34,820 --> 01:40:36,029
Go, Uncle Reem!
1726
01:41:15,069 --> 01:41:16,488
One time.
1727
01:41:21,283 --> 01:41:23,787
Two times.
1728
01:41:26,663 --> 01:41:27,916
Three times.
1729
01:41:59,655 --> 01:42:01,824
It seems that the last time I...
1730
01:42:01,908 --> 01:42:04,911
I only recently discov...
1731
01:42:04,993 --> 01:42:05,994
I can do that better.
1732
01:42:06,078 --> 01:42:08,163
Bastard child here.
1733
01:42:08,247 --> 01:42:09,832
- Let's cut.
- Cutting.
1734
01:42:09,916 --> 01:42:13,127
...inherited your father's
unforgiving memory.
1735
01:42:13,211 --> 01:42:15,087
Who you talking to?
1736
01:42:16,922 --> 01:42:19,007
Get that stupid look
off your face.
1737
01:42:21,552 --> 01:42:22,970
I'm trying to rouse the lion.
1738
01:42:25,222 --> 01:42:26,431
Lion!
1739
01:42:28,268 --> 01:42:30,019
Got the whiskers.
1740
01:42:30,103 --> 01:42:31,729
They from a lion.
1741
01:42:31,813 --> 01:42:33,064
Look at that.
1742
01:42:33,146 --> 01:42:35,859
That's my thing.
1743
01:42:35,942 --> 01:42:37,277
Acting mine, that's good.
1744
01:42:37,359 --> 01:42:39,654
He has already ordered
your exla... Shit.
1745
01:42:39,737 --> 01:42:41,864
- My ex-lax?
- Cut.
1746
01:42:43,157 --> 01:42:45,368
- Line.
- Reset!
1747
01:42:45,451 --> 01:42:46,452
I've been a, uh...
1748
01:42:46,536 --> 01:42:48,162
Ah, boy. Oh, my bad.
1749
01:42:48,246 --> 01:42:50,539
I would nothing more...
I would...
1750
01:42:50,622 --> 01:42:53,333
Let's do it again.
1751
01:43:13,938 --> 01:43:16,297
Is anybody gonna tell me why
these mashed potatoes is black?
1752
01:43:19,152 --> 01:43:20,862
You damn right you are.
1753
01:43:20,944 --> 01:43:22,613
Thank you.
1754
01:43:35,460 --> 01:43:38,837
Vacations were canceled,
holidays ignored.
1755
01:43:38,921 --> 01:43:40,797
People didn't even...
Wait a minute.
1756
01:43:40,881 --> 01:43:42,425
What was that line?
1757
01:43:47,346 --> 01:43:49,431
Master of disaster!
1758
01:43:49,515 --> 01:43:51,768
Punisher of infidel!
1759
01:43:51,850 --> 01:43:53,936
The midnight train to Georgia.
1760
01:43:55,520 --> 01:43:56,898
Ow! Shit!
1761
01:43:56,980 --> 01:43:59,692
I'm sorry.
1762
01:43:59,775 --> 01:44:01,735
He actually
kicked me in the ass.
1763
01:44:01,819 --> 01:44:03,445
I kicked you in the leg.
Come on.
1764
01:44:03,529 --> 01:44:05,657
That wasn't no accident.
1765
01:45:27,029 --> 01:45:28,739
Good night, Zamunda!
1766
01:47:38,618 --> 01:47:40,746
Way down in the jungle deep,
1767
01:47:40,829 --> 01:47:44,250
the lion stepped on
the signified monkey's feet.
1768
01:47:45,667 --> 01:47:49,755
The monkey said, "Hey,
you bastard, can't you see?
1769
01:47:49,838 --> 01:47:53,301
You're standing on
my goddamn feet!"
1770
01:47:56,095 --> 01:47:59,140
Hey, what is this, velvet?
126617
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